Today's job was done.
Lightning Dust was in the locker room, storing away her gear, ready to go home and collapse into bed. She considered renting a movie to treat herself after a long day; there were only so many ways to managed boredom in her one-room apartment, but for Lightning one room was more than enough since it was way easier to clean… when she got around to it.
When she first came to Baltimare, Lightning was in a bad place. She had little money, which meant few meals to sate a hunger rivalling that of stray dog. It also had the effect of limiting her housing options. After rejection by landlord after landlord, she was with as much hope as a prisoner in the death row. When she ran into Brick Seal, Lightning expected to be turned down again after explaining her situation.
But Brick Seal was different. He was kind and welcoming unlike the other landlords, having offered Lightning a place to stay and, much to her joy, a hot meal. However he wasn’t a pushover; Brick would give her a place to stay, but on the condition Lightning would find a job within a month and pay the rent. It was a tough deal for a crappy apartment, but with the condition she’d been upon arrival, Lightning was satisfied with what she could get.
After days of searching, she found a position with the city’s weather control thanks to Hydro Jet. At first Hydro came off as a mare with an explosive temperament, always easy to trigger into anger, a trait Lightning found trying. However the more they worked together, the more she grew to understand there was more to her than a spitfire attitude; Hydro was a softie and quite the chatterbox. On more a multitude of occasions Lightning found herself engrossed with Hydro’s entertaining conversations , which often revolved around random tidbits of trivia and, to a lesser extent on Lightning’s end, the subject of their cuter-looking coworkers. She was perhaps a little off her rocker with the pranks she pulled, too.
Jump ahead eighteen months. For the most part since her arrival, Lightning had lived in relative comfort and with a stable job managing the city’s weather. She certainly owed Brick and Hydro her gratitude for an opportunity at a second chance. If it wasn't for them, she would’ve resorted to begging for bread.
That was not to say Lightning’s stay in the Charmed City remained an unproductive one in the interim. She also used this time to redeem herself and become a better pony. It wasn't like she was always selfish, but she was so focused on giving pride to her family that she didn't even care if her actions spawned potentially lethal consequences.
Lightning was okay with this life. It wasn't exactly one she imagined falling into nor one she entirely desired, but something was better than nothing, right?
However, this new life still lacked, namely a crucial, valued element that is never easily replaced: family. She missed them dearly, especially Flash. The way he hugged her, the competitive smile he wore whenever they raced, the way he seemed to know what to say when she was down… she missed everything about her brother.
Last she heard, his tenure with the Royal Guard landed him a spot in the Crystal Empire as one of Princess Cadance’s personal bodyguards. A soldier’s compassion and courageous deeds once again rewarded by royalty. Like father, like son.
She could go up there and visit Flash anytime she wished. But knowing what she’d done, knowing how much disappointment he would have for her actions, Lightning choose to stay as far away as possible. It wasn't right, but she felt it to be the better choice.
A low voice called out from behind her. "Hey, Lightning."
"Hmm? Oh, hey Xenon. Whats up?" She said, giving her friend a welcoming smile.
If Hydro Jet was aggressive and crazy, Xenon Blow was the opposite: shy and an excellent ear to lend, always listening more than he spoke. When he joined in on Lightning and Hydro’s hangouts--which took some convincing on their part--, he gradually grew to be less reserved. That was putting it mildly, though. Xenon still spoke fewer words than the average pony, but compensated at being more level-headed than others, which have sometimes put him at odds with the mouthy Hydro.
He even reminded her of Flash, if only a little.
Xenon dropped his workbag to the side. "Sorry, just couldn't help but notice you acting kinda odd today." His face turned into one of concern. "I mean, I called your name like three times and you didn’t answer. Thought you were a zombie or something." Placing his hoof on Lightning's shoulder, he spoke once more. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"
Okay, maybe the two were not as dissimilar as she believed.
"Flash used to do the same with me. Why does he have to be so much like him?"
Lightning tried her best not to lose her cool. But Xenon was right, she had been off her mark for the whole day, only working in autopilot. It wasn't the first time it happened though, she had those mind overloads once or twice in a month, and both her friends knew why. "I'm fine, Xenon. Really, you don't need to worry about anything."
"Was it about your brother?"
Amazing how words could pierce the heart like a marksmare’s arrow.
"_Sigh_... Y-Yeah." Lightning finally gave up on trying to hide her emotions. "Sorry if I keep making you all worried. Really though, I appreciate that you’re trying to help."
She gave a weak smile to the stallion. If there was anything she learned about true friends, it was that they would always be there for her, providing advice, motivation, and guiding her in the right direction. Just like her brother. In fact, if it wasn't for Flash giving her motivation and training with her day and night, she would never be able to get into the wonderbolts in the first place.
Her smile faltered. Nowadays she wished she could go back in time and change her mind about becoming a Wonderbolt.
Xenon noted the slight change in face and, with firmness rivalling that of the hoof holding Lightning’s shoulder, said, "Look, I know me and Hydro already said this, but you ought to go find him."
Lightning furrowed her brow, annoyed of having heard the same bit of advice for over the past year. She made it more evident by batting away Xenon's hoof. "This again? You know I simply can't, alright? Not when I'm the black sheep of the family. You don't understand... if my brother says anything about how disappointed he is, it will... it..." Several scenarios of how Flash would react to her showing up out of nowhere played through Lightning’s mind, all of them ending in varied levels of shame, disappointment, and animosity from her brother. Her eyes began to get water for the second time today. "It will destroy me! I'll never be able to recover from this! Never..."
"I know you don't wanna do this. Trust me." Xenon’s tone was definitely louder and firmer this time, which was a surprise coming from a pony who was arguably more shy than the Element of Kindness herself. "Think of how your brothers and your mother are suffering not knowing where you are or how you are!"
A lingering silence fell over the locker room. Lightning mentally asked herself if it was really worth it to live so far away. Her mother already had dealt with her feelings of loss in the company of a wineglass; she didn’t deserve to fall back into the habit, not after all the harsh nights her children had to deal with her drunkenness.
First Base had it worse. As the youngest, he didn’t quite grasp the concept that Daddy had "gone to a better place" despite Lightning and Flash’s repeated struggles to explain. It was their first Father's Day without him, seeing his friends with their fathers, did it finally hit home.
"Look,” Xenon continued, breaking Lightning from her reverie, “judging by how you talk about your brother, how he’s so nice and how he’s the best brother you could’ve ever ask for, I don't think he'll be that harsh on you at all. But even if he did, at least you would finally remove this gigantic weight of your back.
Lightning could tell he was trying his best not to come off as rude and make her feel even worse. That's why he was so shy--he put the feelings of others first, and he sure didn't want hurt the feelings of his friend. Such consideration made it harder not to cry.
"D-Do you think he'll ever f-forgive m-m-me?"
"Seeing as how kind and loving he is based on your stories, I'm pretty sure he will. Don't take my word for it though. You know him better than anyone, and you ought find out for yourself.” Xenon gave her a warm smile before gripping her both shoulders. "If you don't wanna do this yourself, do it for him."
There she was, asking herself again if what she had done was right. This time, however, Lightning began to see the situation from a different perspective.
Of course, she would be heartbroken by her mother and brother. They might cast her out, disown her, and sever all ties with her. But Lightning ignored the fearful scenario--it was irrelevant. It didn't matter if she had become... this. It didn't matter what she had done to them. They needed--no, they deserved to know what happened. If they hated her forever because of what she did, so be it. Falling into depression later on was likely once this ordeal was over with, but that didn't matter either.
To Lightning, none of the potential consequences mattered. Nothing in general, if she was being honest with herself. All that mattered was to let her family know she was alive and, for the most part, well.
Calmness took over Lightning as she met Xenon’s gaze once again. "Thanks for everything, Xenon.”
He took it as a sign she had made up her mind. "So, what's it gonna be? You going after him?"
"Yeah." She said the word with an unusual, determined firmness.
It's done. I’m going to find him and tell all the truth, regardless of what happens.
She gave Xenon a determined gaze. "I'm tired of living in the shadows. I'm tired of living like a ghost. I... I want to put an end in this."
Xenon saw the fire in her eyes burning with intensity like that of a dragon. "That’s great to hear, Lightning." He turned towards his work bag, searched inside for a few silent moments, and procured another, smaller bag. He then turned back to Lightning, gently took one of her hooves, and nestled the bag in it. "Here. That should be enough for a train ticket."
Lightning peeked inside the bag, only to look back at Xenon in surprise. "What? But I... no, Xenon. You don't owe me anything." She shoved the bag back into his hoof.
However, Xenon remained insistant. "Actually, I do. You and Hydro helped me open up and be less of an introvert, now I’m returning the favor. Equivalent exchange, as the alchemists say?"
Lightning gave a quick laugh, remembering how odd he was when she first met him. He was always looking down and mumbling, making it a real struggle to understand what he said. But surprisingly enough, Xenon could be really funny with his words.
"So…” Xenon started, “you know about the Birthday Ceremony for the Princess of Friendship, right? It’s happening tomorrow in Ponyville. Since Captain Armor is her brother, no doubt he’ll show up. And where there’s Captain Armor, it's very likely Flash will be close by."
"Ponyville it is, then." Lightning couldn’t help but feel a sense of trepidation at that.
Not long after her disappearance and Flash’s transfer to the Crystal Empire, their mother and First Base had moved to Ponyville It was for the best, since it was a quaint little town where everyone knew everyone. Certainly a friendlier place unlike bustling metropoles such as Manehattan.
Lightning felt eager about seeing both her brothers again. But her mother? She would pitch an absolute fit about Lightning if they met again--when they met again. Lightning could imagine it vividly, her mother berating her with questions about what she’d been up to for the past eighteen months.
But that’s what a mother does, right?
Lightning dismissed those thoughts. Her primary concern was Flash and nothing else.
"Thank you, Xenon." Lightning gave Xenon the same hug she gave to her brother years ago. She knew then what true friendship really meant. Sure, she felt a pang of guilt for not understanding it much earlier, but better late than never to learn something new. "Thanks for everything... you're one of the best friends I ever had!"
Xenon pulled back, a mischievous smile on his lips. “Better than Hydro?”
“For now.”
"I hope she doesn't get jealous then, eh?"
“Just don't flaunt it around like she does with her trivia.” They both shared a laugh before breaking off the hug. Lightning then put on a wry smile. “So, Xenon, how much longer do you plan on hanging out in the the mares’ locker room."
It was as if someone bumped up the thermostat by several degrees. Xenon sweat bullets as he opened his mouth to speak, but only succeeded in stuttering. "Oh, snap, er, right. Yeah. Um... gottagogoodlucktoyoubye!" With that he rushed out of the locker room.
A chuckle escaped Lightning. “Oh, Xenon, if only you knew how special you are..."
With a final look at the locker room doors, Lightning closed her own locker, made her way out the building, and flew back to her apartment with a determined heart. She would take the first train to Ponyville in the morning, and then put an end to this once and for all. No more hiding, no more sulking. She intended to make amends regardless of the results.
It was the right thing to do, but not for Lightning’s sake.
She would do this for him.
"I'm coming, brother. It'll be over soon… I promise.”