Twilight moaned contently as she opened her eyes and regained her senses. Waking up with the warmth of Rainbow to her back and the heat trapped beneath the blankets threatened to pull her back to sleep, but she fought off the urge. Waking up next to Rainbow was always a highlight of her day. She had slept with Rainbow for a couple weeks, and in her mind, no amount of time would ever be enough. Every time she awoke in Rainbow's embrace was a memory she knew she would cherish for the entirety of her life, but at the moment, she chose to relax and enjoy the simple sensations of waking up with Rainbow holding her.
Even if her muzzle wasn't pressed against Rainbow's coat, it was worth the sacrifice. The pegasus was holding her in a firm, secure embrace. Rainbow's right arm was wrapped around Twilight's two hooves and pinned them against her chest. She couldn't move them more than a few inches before Rainbow would tighten her grip and immobilize her again, and she loved it beyond all reason. Her pegasus also pinned her hind legs to her abdomen. One of Rainbow's legs was laid around her legs at an angle and pressed her legs against her body. Rainbow's legs were much stronger than her own legs, although she could move her hind legs more than her arms before Rainbow responded and held her tighter.
Every time she inhaled, Rainbow would flex her muscles and her grip would tighten, and Twilight found herself more relaxed than she could ever remember being. Spending a weekend sorting and rearranging books in her castle's library didn't compare in the slightest to feeling Rainbow holding her. She made a mental note of every sensation, and even the slightest movement either of them made. It was a memory she made sure she would never forget.
She closed her eyes and nestled back into Rainbow's embrace. The pegasus's fur was so soft against her coat. She was content to lay there for hours on end if Rainbow would let her. Unfortunately, she knew that since she had woken up, the time she had to enjoy what she was feeling was limited. She knew that in a matter of minutes, Rainbow would stir awake. She rubbed her head against Rainbow's jaw and shifted her weight. As expected, Rainbow refused to let her budge. Twilight smiled, even if Rainbow's actions were unconscious, it melted her heart knowing that the pegasus was so protective of her.
'I wish I was always this relaxed...' She sighed unhappily at the thought. Waking up was the least stressful part of her day. She always felt so refreshed after sleeping in Rainbow's hooves. After they both woke up, she always found her stress rising throughout the day, sometimes subtly, and sometimes in noticeable leaps and bounds. Rainbow would help her during those times just by being close to her. At other times, Rainbow's presence was a source of her stress. She loved the pegasus to no end, but she was scared to death at the prospect of losing her. Despite Rainbow's assurances that she'd never leave Twilight, Twilight feared that she would mess up and ruin everything to no end.
Twilight sighed and scooted her muzzle up from under the covers. She blinked her eyes and stared out the window. It was still dark outside, although there was the subtlest hue of light starting to push back the darkness. The sight brought a slight smile to her lips, knowing that the day would bring new opportunities. Unfortunately, she also knew that the day would bring new challenges. Challenges that she dreaded. Losing her horn had made her life hard. Rainbow had made her life easier, but there was only so much she could do to make Twilight feel better.
For a while, she counted the stars she could see, but every time Rainbow's chest moved against hers, she lost track of which stars she had counted. The slightest movement of the pegasus that caused their coats to brush together brought her more happiness and joy than eating a cookie had given her as a filly. In the back of her mind, she couldn't help but wonder if she just had a schoolfilly's crush on Rainbow. She feared the day when it started to fade, although she also knew that it would never fade, but it didn't lessen the fear at all. Rainbow was the only pony she had ever felt so drawn to. She had crushes in the past, but they didn't draw her like as Rainbow did. As much as she wanted Rainbow to be hers, she wanted to be Rainbow's even more. She felt selfish, and she wanted to make it up to the pegasus any way she could.
Unfortunately, Rainbow didn't give her many opportunities to make it up to her. The mare always told her to relax, calm down, or stop apologizing. She tried to relax and calm down for her. It wasn't easy and it almost never worked. The only thing that seemed to help was feeling Rainbow against her. That always seemed to help, and she was sure that if she wasn't laying wrapped in Rainbow's embrace, the thought would have calmed her down more.
Rainbow shifted her weight in her sleep. Twilight smiled as the pegasus's leg supporting her flank shifted. A few second later, Twilight found herself laying on top of Rainbow after the mare shifted again. During the next few seconds, Twilight managed to free herself from Rainbow's grasp and rolled over onto her stomach. She smiled fondly at the pegasus below her. She let her eyes roll over the mare's polychromatic mane, beautiful face, welcoming neck, and soft chest, scrutinizing each feature and every line in her body or coat, down to the shortest hair. Eventually, she slid her muzzle under Rainbow's muzzle. She welcomed the pegasus' warmth against her muzzle and sighed into her neck.
The pegasus giggled as Twilight's nose tickled her neck. Twilight closed her eyes and wrapped her hooves around Rainbow, then pulled her legs up and slid them under her body. Twilight's only regret was that she was bigger than Rainbow. It was only a slight, barely noticeable difference in size between them, and it was most prominent in height, but it still bothered her. After several seconds, Twilight wondered if Rainbow would be uncomfortable waking up in the position she was in.
She sighed then pulled away from Rainbow and laid on her back beside the pegasus. Several seconds passed, then she grew bored and rolled over onto her side and wrapped her limbs around Rainbow and pulled her into her body. Rainbow, in her sleep, rolled over and faced away from Twilight. Twilight smiled at the opportunity and slid her hooves over Rainbow's hooves and held them tightly to her chest, mimicking how Rainbow had been holding her. The way Rainbow's back curved and conformed to her body made her fit perfectly against her, much like if their positions were reversed. Rainbow sighed contently, widening Twilight's smile. 'Is this what it feels like to you?' she wondered, pondering what it felt like to hold Rainbow.
'This is amazing,' was the only answer she received. She didn't like it as much as being held by Rainbow, but she did like it. It was a unique opportunity, she knew it was unlikely that Rainbow would let her hold her if she were awake. The pegasus had a side that she rarely showed, but she still had her limits. Their date last night had been a testimony to that.
Twilight winced at the memory. She felt horrible about it. She felt like she had ruined her chances with Rainbow, but yet the pegasus had blown off her concern and worry. They were dating, but it was going to be relaxed. 'You... care about me, don't you?' she asked. As expected, she received no answer, although she could take a guess. She smiled. Rainbow didn't want her to be stressed out. Time and time again, the pegasus had told her to relax. The thought was comforting, even if she couldn't relax most of the time.
Twilight closed her eyes and pressed her muzzle into Rainbow's mane. She inhaled deeply and paused. 'Lavender...' She exhaled then inhaled again, confirming that Rainbow smelt like lavender. She wasn't sure what to think of it. On one hoof, she liked it. Rainbow smelt like her. On the other hoof, Rainbow didn't smell like she normally did. She missed it. She sighed into Rainbow's mane and pushed the thought aside, deciding to be happy rather than spend too much time thinking about it.
She opened her eyes and her gaze fell on Rainbow's ear. She watched it for several seconds, then she slowly leaned in and sniffed it. Rainbow's ear twitched slightly from her action. She mulled over the familiar scent of lavender for a few seconds, then opened her mouth and ran her tongue over her ear. Rainbow shifted her weight and her ear twitched again. She closed her mouth and mulled over the taste for several seconds. Eventually, she ran her tongue over Rainbow's ear again, once more causing the pegasus' ear to twitch. Twilight watched Rainbow with baited breath, making sure she wasn't about to wake up, then she ran her tongue over her ear again. It twitched again, but not as much as it had both times before. Rainbow shifted her weight again and mumbled something as Twilight continued licking her ear.
Every stroke made Rainbow shift her weight a little more as Twilight's tongue tickled her ear. Twilight eventually took Rainbow's ear into her mouth, then pressed her lips against her friend's ear and pulled her muzzle back. She enjoyed the feeling of Rainbow's ear sliding passed her lips. She smiled and pulled away, then stared at Rainbow's ear. Her fur was slicked back by her actions, and she smiled happily, knowing that she left her mark on Rainbow. As seconds passed, her smile faded to dread when she thought about Rainbow finding out what she did.
Her heart beat a little faster, and she slowly pulled herself away from Rainbow. She carefully slid out of bed and walked away from the bed, staring at Rainbow's still sleeping form with a mixture of dread, sadness, and happiness. She paused once she reached the other side of the room, then she watched Rainbow for several seconds. A sense of calm overtook her as the pegasus slept peacefully, blissfully unaware of her actions.
Twilight closed her eyes and sighed in relief. She sat down on her haunches and rested her head against the wall. She missed being in bed beside Rainbow, she missed holding Rainbow, and she missed Rainbow holding her. She wanted to get back in bed with her, but she was afraid she would wake her up, and her ear was still wet from her actions. She gritted her teeth and opened her eyes. For a few seconds, she stared at the ceiling, then she took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. 'You.... you would forgive me,' she told herself. It didn't help her feel any better. She didn't want to have that conversation with the pegasus, and her finding out would only serve to make things more awkward between them.
Twilight ruffled her wings and glanced at both of them in turn, attempting to distract herself. She smiled, knowing that it was Rainbow's actions that made her wings look as good as they did. The pegasus had preened her wings, she had taken her feathers into her mouth and realigned and cleaned them. Thinking of that made her feel a little less worried about Rainbow finding out what she did, since the pegasus had done something similar to her. Still smiling, she stood up and looked at Rainbow. She had no idea how long Rainbow would be asleep for, and she regretted her decision to leave her.
She silently sighed and turned her attention to the bathroom door. Several seconds passed before she determined to take a bath before Rainbow woke up. She silently strode over to the bathroom door, then opened it and stepped inside. She pulled the door shut and faced it for several seconds, unable to decide whether to lock the door or leave it unlocked. Eventually, she pulled away from the door, having decided to leave the door unlocked, that way, if something happened, Rainbow wouldn't have to hurt herself to get to her.
Twilight glanced around the room before her eyes settled on the bathtub.
Rainbow frowned in her sleep. Not only was her chest cold, but her back was too. She missed the warmth that she had grown accustomed to. She rolled over and searched for the warmth, only to find nothing. Her friend was missing. She didn't like it. Not only was Twilight's warmth gone, but her comfortable body was missing too.
Rainbow groaned and begrudgingly opened an eye, not sure what woke her up. Almost immediately, she was aware that Twilight wasn't with her. She was surprised by how disappointed she was from waking up alone. She missed Twilight, she had grown used to waking up next to the alicorn. She sighed and rolled over onto her back, then opened her other eye and glanced around the bed. Twilight wasn't on the bed. She pulled her hooves up beside her body, then pushed against the bed and sat up. She glanced around the room. It was hard to see in the early light of morning, but Twilight clearly wasn't in the room.
She frowned and pulled herself out from under the blankets. She shivered as the cold morning air hit her coat. Once more, she missed waking up holding a warm body close to her own body. She flapped her wings and glided off the bed. The floor was cold to her hooves, but she was expecting that. She walked over to the balcony door, still glancing around the room, expecting to see Twilight sitting somewhere reading a book. She lifted her hoof to the doorknob and pressed against it. It was still locked. Her brow furrowed in thought.
She turned around and scrutinized the room again. She beat her wings and glided over to the door to the exterior stairway and checked it. It was still locked too. Rainbow landed and took a few aimless steps forward, then she heard noise coming from the bathroom. She closed her eyes and sighed, realizing that Twilight wasn't missing.
She opened her eyes and calmly walked over to the bathroom. Before she could put her ear up to the door, the door opened and a lavender alicorn stood in the doorway, mane and tail still sagging, damp with water. Twilight held a towel secure over her back with her wings, but the towel was starting to be waterlogged from soaking up so much water. "I see you're up early," Rainbow commented.
Twilight blinked and swallowed, momentarily sparing a glance at Rainbow's left ear. She averted her gaze from her ear before Rainbow even saw that she had looked at her ear. She ruffled her wings, not sure what to say. "Good morning?" she eventually said.
Rainbow frowned at her. "Are you okay? You seem a little... off."
Twilight shifted her weight. "I'm fine. I just..." she trailed off, glancing at the floor and moving her hoof in little circles.
Rainbow's brow furrowed, and she carefully looked over Twilight. "You didn't have another nightmare, did you?" she asked.
Twilight shook her head. "No. I just woke up early. I... I figured that you would still be asleep for a while, so I decided to go ahead and get a headstart on the day by taking a bath."
"Instead... of staying with me?" Rainbow asked, a slight look of hurt flashing across her features.
Twilight tilted her head and looked at Rainbow despondently. She wasn't sure what to say to Rainbow, she looked genuinely hurt that she hadn't stayed with her. Twilight's head fell towards the floor. Several seconds passed in silence between the two, then Twilight smiled. 'She missed waking up beside me?' She looked up at Rainbow happily. "You wanted to wake up next to me?" she asked.
Rainbow's look of hurt faded and she looked at Twilight blankly. She blinked, and several seconds passed. "Uh... yeah?" she said with an uncertain voice. "I did," she added. "I... I like waking up next to you. It's nice," she said with more conviction.
Twilight sat down on her haunches, smiling fondly at Rainbow. "I never thought I would hear you say that... You don't know how much that means to me, Rainbow," she said in a soft, sweet voice.
Rainbow shifted her weight, then stepped forward and sat down beside Twilight. The alicorn immediately leaned on her and sighed happily. Rainbow winced as the cold towel pressed against her coat, and she instinctually leaned away from it before looking at the damp towel. Twilight pulled back and smiled sheepishly as she pulled the towel off of her with her wings. Once the towel was on the floor, she leaned back on Rainbow, and Rainbow wrapped a wing around her. "You feel a little cold," Rainbow said.
Twilight pulled away from Rainbow and bobbed her head. "I did just get out of the bath," she replied dismissively.
"And it's kinda cold in here," Rainbow added.
Twilight pursed her lips. "It is a little chilly," she replied.
Rainbow stood up and coaxed Twilight up. Twilight looked at her curiously as Rainbow guided her over to the bed, then jumped up onto it and pulled the covers back with her wing and slid under the blankets, facing Twilight. Twilight smiled and said nothing as she slid up onto the bed. Rainbow dropped the blankets around her, then pulled the damp alicorn into her body and wrapped her limbs around her.
"Thanks," Twilight said.
Several seconds passed, both of them relaxing and staring out the window. "When do Princess Celestia and Princess Luna eat breakfast?" Rainbow asked.
Twilight frowned and pulled away from Rainbow, glancing at the clock. "In about an hour," she said. "Why?"
"Do you want to try to meet them for breakfast?" Rainbow asked.
"It might be nice," Twilight said, smiling at the prospect of spending more time with Celestia and Luna. "Although, this is pretty nice too..."
"Well..." Rainbow trailed off, deep in thought. Twilight rolled over and faced her. For a few seconds, Twilight met Rainbow's gaze, then she glanced down at the pegasus' chest and slowly brought her hooves up against it. "We can stay here until you get warmed up, then I can go take a shower. After that, I can brush your mane and then we could go to breakfast with the princesses? How does that sound?"
Twilight smiled and looked up at Rainbow. "That sounds nice."
"Then it's settled," Rainbow said with a smile. She folded her arms around Twilight's withers and intertwined her wings around Twilight's back.
Twilight nestled up against Rainbow and nuzzled her neck before sliding her head into the crook of Rainbow's neck.
"Good morning, Luna," Celestia warmly greeted her sister as the dark alicorn strode through the tall double doors.
Luna came to a stop and nodded at Celestia. "Good morning, sister," she acknowledged. "It seems like it will be a fine day today," she commented as she started walking again, making her way around to the table and taking a seat beside her sister. Normally, if there were dignitaries from another country there, or important ponies there for a formal meeting, they had specific places where they sat. Neither of them liked that very much. However, both of them tolerated it. Celestia tolerated it better than her sister, but the Princess of the Night was no stranger to politics, although she was often more direct.
As if cued by Luna sitting down, two ponies clad in white dress shirts quickly rushed in and set a platter and glass down in front of her. The pony who brought the platter levitated the lid off and presented her with a plate that had a stack of four pancakes, topped with syrup running down the sides and a slab of butter. She smiled and nodded in approval. While the first pony presented her with breakfast, the other poured her a glass of apple cider. As soon as he finished, Luna levitated the glass in her magic and took a small sip of it. She mulled the taste over and decided it was acceptable, as she had what felt like every morning. She did not always eat the same thing, but she had a habit of telling them what she wanted in the morning before retiring to her bedchambers, which, unfortunately, occasionally meant she changed her mind during the night. On those days, she felt sorry for the ponies serving them.
She pushed the thought aside as the two ponies left and the doors silently closed behind them. "Pancakes again, Luna?" Celestia asked.
Luna rolled her eyes at her sister. "Says the pony who eats a bowl of oatmeal with strawberries every morning on weekdays," she said dryly.
"I do not always have oatmeal. You know that, Luna. I simply enjoy the taste," Celestia replied before closing her eyes and levitating her teacup to her lips. She let the tea roll around in her mouth for a few seconds before swallowing. "Did they sleep alright?" she asked.
Without asking, Luna immediately knew who Celestia was talking about. She finished chewing up her bite of pancake, then swallowed and set her fork and knife back on the platter. "They did," she answered. Her brow furrowed as she pondered Twilight's state of mind during the night. "Although, Twilight's mind wasn't as peaceful as I had hoped. I am worried that... things might not have gone according to her plan."
"The date?" Celestia inquired.
Luna grimaced and bobbed her head. "I do not know how it went, you would have to ask one of them..." She trailed off, silence filled the air for a few seconds before she spoke again. "I am still worried about her. I believe she still doubts herself."
Celestia hated hearing that. She didn't like hearing that Twilight wasn't doing well. She didn't like hearing that Twilight doubted herself. She had tried many times to build the mare's self-confidence, and it had always been a challenge. Celestia knew how much magic meant to Twilight. She knew that Twilight was still hurting, and it hurt her knowing that there was nothing she could do about it. She had hoped that her friends would have taken her mind off of it and helped her, but that only seemed to help so much. She had hoped Rainbow would be good for Twilight and improve her mood. She knew Twilight cared for Rainbow deeply, and she had seen how Rainbow made her feel better when they were close. As to whether it would last or not, she wasn't sure, it only seemed to help Twilight so much. "I don't like how we're stuck on the sidelines, unable to help her."
Luna turned to Celestia and nodded slowly. "Indeed. It is... troubling, but leaving her in Ponyville was for the best. I fear that she would be doing worse now if we had taken her to Canterlot against her will."
Celestia grimaced. "Regardless, she's here now of her own free will..."
"For the purpose of taking a break and dating Rainbow," Luna said.
"Perhaps she needs a vacation away from Equestria?" Celestia mused aloud. She thought about it for a few seconds and found herself smiling. "I'm sure Princess Cadance would be more than happy to have them stay in the Crystal Empire..."
Luna looked at Celestia wearily. "I... do not believe that would be wise, sister..." she said at length, concern permeating her voice.
Celestia turned to her and frowned. "What do you mean?"
Luna bobbed her head. "Cadance is the Princess of Love... I do not believe Twilight would be comfortable being around Cadance and Rainbow in private... if Cadance found out that they're together... I imagine Twilight would be very stressed out by it."
Celestia looked away from Luna and stared into her half empty bowl of oatmeal. "I suppose you make a valid point, she would be uncomfortable in that situation. I just wish she could relax." She looked back up and shook her head. "I almost think all of her problems would go away if she would stop worrying, but knowing Twilight, that's impossible."
Luna grimaced. The atmosphere felt oppressive rather than uplifting like it had earlier, their conversation weighed heavily on their minds. Both of them eventually returned to their food and ate in silence, several minutes passing with the only sounds coming from their magic and their utensils scraping against their plate and bowl. Shortly before Celestia finished off her bowl of oatmeal, another sound filled the air, drawing both her and Luna's attention to the door. Twilight and Rainbow cautiously walked inside. "Twilight, Rainbow," Celestia greeted warmly, helping defuse the tension that had filled the room before the two of them entered. "How nice of you to join us. I didn't expect to see you until later."
"W-well... We both woke up early," Twilight said. "And we decided that we'd come join you." She glanced at Rainbow then tentatively stepped forward. Rainbow stayed close beside her, just out of reach. Both of them pulled out chairs across from Celestia and Luna and sat down. "I hope we're not interrupting anything... I know it's short notice-"
Celestia shook her head vigorously. "Nonsense, I'm happy that you could join us."
"Yes indeed. We do not see you enough, Twilight. It will be good to have breakfast with you, even if it is only a few minutes," Luna said.
Twilight smiled, then grimaced. "We... really don't see each other that much, do we?"
"Unfortunately, it comes with the job. We are all very busy, but perhaps we should make more time to see each other, family is important, after all," Luna commented.
Twilight looked down at the table. "I really wish that I could help you with that..."
"Do not worry about it, Twilight. We are both capable of handling things in your absence. I did rule Equestria on my own for a thousand years, after all," Celestia said with a smile. Luna glanced at her sister out of the corner of her eye but remained silent.
Rainbow turned to Twilight and smiled. "Yeah, Twi! Come on, take it easy, you're still recovering!"
Both Celestia and Luna smiled at Rainbow, seeing her attempt to comfort Twilight made both of them feel relieved that Twilight had somepony to be there for her, somepony who she cared about, and somepony who cared about her. Luna, in particular, was quite happy with knowing that Rainbow was there for her.
Twilight bobbed her head uneasily. "I... I'm never going to completely recover, though..." she said softly.
"Then we will bear your responsibilities for you, Twilight," Luna said, smiling at the young alicorn. Twilight tentatively looked at her, a slight perplexion filling her gaze. "Both of us owe you a lot Twilight, doing this is the least we can do for you, to say nothing of the fact that you are a member of the Royal Family."
Twilight smiled weakly. "Thanks..."
Rainbow leaned over to Twilight then wrapped a wing around her body and pulled her over to her. Twilight slid across the gap between their chairs and sat beside Rainbow. She looked down at the table, then closed her eyes and laid her head against her friend. Rainbow ran her wing up and down her side several times before tightening her grip. Twilight ignored Celestia and Luna and lightly rubbed her cheek against Rainbow's neck. Rainbow clenched her jaw, distressed by the fact that both Celestia and Luna were watching her while Twilight nuzzled her, but she eventually overcame the unease and returned the nuzzle.
"I take it the date went well?" Celestia asked.
Twilight opened her eyes and bit her lip, immediately leaning away from Rainbow, only for the mare to pull her back against her side. "It... I kinda screwed it up," Rainbow admitted. Celestia's smile faltered for a brief second. "But... I mean, we're... together..." she said testingly. "We're just not going to do... things like... well, things that are stressful. Things that stress Twilight out. Like... go out on dates."
"I see..." Celestia said in a more reserved voice. "If you don't mind my asking, how is that going to work?"
Rainbow shifted her weight and glanced at Twilight. The alicorn still didn't look up. She didn't like that. She turned back to Celestia. "Well, I mean... Twilight just wasn't happy last night, but she's happy when we're just... together. So I figured that we'd just keep doing like we have been doing..." she trailed off, not wanting to go into details.
"Do you really think that will work?" Twilight asked quietly.
Rainbow turned her attention back to the princess. For several seconds, she just stared at her. She knew Twilight had said it, but the alicorn didn't look like she had said it. Finally, Twilight shifted her weight and turned back to face her. "You know I care about you..." Rainbow said. "I just... I don't want you to be stressed out. I don't like seeing you like that, I know it's hard for you. I... don't know how much you stressed over that date, but you shouldn't have. I want you to be relaxed and I want you to stop worrying so much. I hate having to keep saying that."
"Then why do you keep saying that?" Twilight asked, missing the point.
Rainbow groaned. "I'll keep saying it as long as I have to until you stop stressing out so much."
Twilight bit her lip and turned away from Rainbow. "I'm sorry that I make this so hard on you..." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"Don't forget that I want to help you," Rainbow said.
Twilight blinked and mulled over Rainbow's response. The more she thought about it, the better she felt. Rainbow had offered to help her. Rainbow wanted to help her. She knew that, but she still felt bad about it. She didn't like needing help. She liked Rainbow helping her, but she hated being a burden. Even though she was a burden, Rainbow was there for her. Rainbow helped her, she stayed with her, she offered her support and reassured her. She always tried to make her feel better. Twilight closed her eyes and lowered her head, then she took a deep breath and looked back up, smiling faintly. She turned to Rainbow, then pressed her head against her neck and closed her eyes.
For several seconds, Rainbow just sat there, arguing with herself about returning the gesture. She didn't like the fact that Twilight was doing that while they weren't alone. She also knew that Twilight needed to do that. She needed her support. Still, a part of her fought against letting her return the action, knowing that she could hurt Twilight by doing it. She knew that she would hurt Twilight if she didn't return it. She knew it was only a matter of time before she hurt Twilight, and she was running out of time to return the gesture. Every second that passed made her heart beat a little harder. She knew that if she returned the gesture, Twilight could take it the wrong way and think that it meant something it didn't. That thought caused her more distress than she wanted to admit, only because of knowing that she would hurt Twilight worse if she had to tell Twilight something she didn't want to hear, and something she didn't want to say.
A few more seconds passed. She groaned internally and fought the dissent away. She ran her wing along Twilight's side and leaned over towards Twilight, pressing the side of her muzzle against Twilight's muzzle ever so slightly. For several seconds, they both stayed like that, both of their minds wandering. Twilight immediately enjoyed the feeling, and Rainbow found herself growing to enjoy it, even if Celestia and Luna were in the room with them. Both of them were, for the most part, ignoring them and focusing on eating, but Celestia had finished her oatmeal, and Luna was nearly done with her pancakes.
Eventually, Twilight shifted her muzzle away from Rainbow's muzzle. The pegasus found herself frowning, she missed the contact, and she smiled when Twilight slid her muzzle back against hers. A few more seconds passed before Twilight pulled away and laid her head against Rainbow's neck. Twilight sighed contently and relaxed, letting more of her weight fall onto Rainbow, who easily and contently supported it for her. Rainbow glanced at the alicorn beside her, she had a small, happy smile on her face, and her closed eyes told her that she felt safe. Twilight trusted her. That meant a lot to her. Rainbow blinked and looked away from her, a familiar question coming back to the forefront of her mind. 'Do I love her?'
She found the answer last night. That answer was no. Rainbow didn't like that answer. She wanted to make Twilight happy, and she knew that when the time came, she wouldn't be able to say that she loved her. She knew that would devastate Twilight. She would stay with her no matter what, though. She would be there for her, even if she didn't love her. She had promised as much, and she would never forgive herself for breaking that promise. Hurting Twilight like that wasn't an option. She hated seeing Twilight in pain. She still knew how much it would hurt Twilight when she had to tell her that she didn't love her. She wasn't sure if Twilight would be able to recover from that.
She squeezed Twilight with her wing, then loosened her grip. Rainbow's wing was over Twilight's wing. She thought about it for a few seconds, then she shifted her wing around and held Twilight's wing in hers. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Twilight glance at her. The alicorn's gaze lingered. Rainbow smiled reassuringly. Twilight's lips curled upward, then she turned her gaze back to the table.
Shortly after that, several ponies came in. Twilight and Rainbow ordered their food and drinks, then the ponies left.
For whatever reason, more ponies noticed Twilight and Rainbow today than when they first arrived. Twilight kept looking around, noticing ponies glancing at her, their gazes lingering for a few seconds before looking away. It made her uncomfortable, she could see it in their eyes, they knew that she was a princess, and they saw what she lost. "Maybe going for a morning walk around Canterlot wasn't such a good idea," she said under her breath.
She paused and waited a couple of seconds, expecting Rainbow to say something or walk up beside her. That moment never came. She bit her lip and turned away from the crowd and glanced towards where Rainbow had been. She clenched her jaw and ruffled her wings when she realized Rainbow hadn't noticed her plight nor that she had stopped. The pegasus was far away from her, and every second she hesitated, the distance between them grew. She looked back around then quickly made her was back towards Rainbow, scanning the crowd as she did. She made sure not to walk too quickly, it would draw too much attention to herself, or at least that's what she feared.
Eventually, she caught back up to the pegasus and stayed close beside her, although not close enough to draw more unwanted attention. She kept glancing around at the ponies, but fortunately, they seemed to be thinning out. She glanced at Rainbow and was surprised to see that the pegasus looked deep in thought. "Hey, Rainbow?" she asked.
Rainbow blinked and came to a stop, then looked at Twilight. "Yeah?" she asked.
"You um... You were kind of spacing out there. Are you alright?" Twilight asked.
"Uh, yeah," Rainbow answered quickly, nodding vigorously. "Just... thinking is all," she added. Not missing a beat, she faced forwards and started walking again. Twilight watched her for a second, then caught up to her and fell in sync with her. "So... anywhere, in particular, you actually wanted to go, or did you really just want to walk around Canterlot?"
"Well, it's been a while since I've been in Canterlot for anything other than... business... so it's kind of nice to just take a break and enjoy the city," Twilight answered happily, forgetting her earlier plight and smiling as her eyes trailed over the architecture. The city would always hold a special place in her heart because it was where she grew up, although she still considered Ponyville her true home.
They continued walking down the street at a casual pace for a couple of minutes, and Rainbow fell back into thought with little to distract her. The city didn't interest her like it did Twilight, she thought the buildings were cool, but at the same time, she felt that they were a bit much. Twilight did her best to ignore ponies that looked at her. 'They're not looking at me... They're just looking around,' she told herself multiple times. Eventually, she started to believe it and she let herself relax. She looked around the street, glancing over the buildings, trying to figure out where they were. They had been walking for nearly an hour with no particular destination in mind. She didn't recognize the buildings surrounding them, but she wasn't worried about getting lost, if they did, they could simply fly to the castle, it would be easy and simple.
They turned down a street to the right. The street was flanked by moderately sized houses on both sides. Despite the houses only being moderately sized, the architecture told a tale of wealth, having the same Canterlot style design as most structures that dominated the city's skyline. The marble walls were inlaid with gold and set with pristine, clear crystal windows. Twilight was sure that some ponies could have been overwhelmed by Canterlot architecture if they had never been there before. Looking down the street, they could see it ended with a large, open plaza in the shape of a circle, surrounded by buildings that curved with the plaza. In the middle of the plaza, there was a short stone wall surrounding a bed of dirt with a large oak tree growing up from it. Large was a relative term since the tree looked to be somewhere between fifteen and thirty years old, and her former home in Ponyville had been a tree that put that one to shame a dozen times over.
As Twilight pondered the tree, they both made their way into the plaza. A gentle breeze blew through the air, rustling the leaves and blowing Twilight and Rainbow's manes and tails to the other side of their heads, bringing both of them to a stop. Rainbow blinked and turned to Twilight when she found the mare's mane tickling her neck. Twilight turned to her and giggled. Rainbow smiled and looked down at the cobblestone street, shaking her head.
Twilight glanced around the plaza, she was surprised that they were alone, but she welcomed it. It was peaceful, quiet, and calm. The surrounding buildings blocked a lot of the noise from outside the secluded area, leaving the most prominent sound being the rustling of leaves. She looked back up at the top of the tree and watched it sway in the gentle breeze for a few seconds, then she looked toward the base.
She saw a small bench in the shade of the tree, one perfect for two ponies to sit on. She smiled and started walking over to it. Rainbow followed her a few seconds later. Twilight sat down on the bench and motioned Rainbow to join her. The pegasus happily accepted the invitation and jumped up on the bench. Twilight leaned away from her, giving her room to turn around and sit down. When Rainbow was seated to Twilight's right, the alicorn leaned against her, but she kept her head a little ways away, there wasn't enough room for her to be able to lay her head on Rainbow's shoulder comfortably. That disappointed her, but she put the thought aside.
Twilight glanced up at the branches which were blocking out the sun. The tree's soft leaves shifted and fluttered in the wind, occasionally letting a beam of sunlight through, though never quite letting the sun make its presence known. Rainbow's wing shifted between their bodies. Twilight pulled away just enough for Rainbow to pull her wing out from between them and slid it across her back before wrapping it around her side and holding her wing, then pulling her closer. Twilight glanced at Rainbow, then she looked across the plaza and into the street they had come from. A few ponies casually strolled by, but not once did anypony pause or hesitate to look at her.
She took a deep breath, letting the invigorating mountain air fill her lungs. She closed her eyes and held the breath in for several seconds before exhaling. 'This is nice,' she thought. She opened her eyes and glanced at Rainbow. 'And the fact that she will do this with me...' She wasn't sure what to think about that. Rainbow Dash was usually brash and a little egotistical, she didn't think things through and she did not slow down. The fact that Rainbow wasn't complaining about being bored, or asking her if they could go do something else perplexed her.
The more Twilight thought about it, the more she remembered little things. Ever since Twilight had walked out from the reactor, Rainbow had acted differently. No, since before that. Before she walked into the reactor, back when her friends showed up. She remembered seeing it in her eyes, the worry for her. After she walked out, the pegasus was the first one to reach her. That night when she was in the hospital, dying from radiation poisoning, Rainbow stayed with her. They hadn't intended to sleep together, but they were both exhausted. Twilight could look back on that memory and smile, even knowing the pain that it had since caused her.
She knew she was never going to forget that morning for as long as she lived, the first time she woke up with Rainbow, and then how Rainbow acted. Of course, eventually, she got worse. She grimaced when she realized she still hadn't thanked Zecora for saving her life, she was sure that the potion the zebra gave her was what kept her alive long enough for the surgeon to remove her horn.
While she was in the hospital, she had felt so alone. She couldn't remember another time in her life when she had felt so alone, except maybe when she accidently triggered Sombra's trap in the Crystal Empire. Her friends by no means skimped out on visiting her, but she had still been alone for the vast majority of her time in the hospital. She wondered if the medicine she was taking and the sickness she was still suffering at the time made it worse. She figured it did. 'Time flies when you're having fun, and when you feel terrible, it can never go by fast enough...' she thought dejectedly.
Rainbow had stopped by a few times during the duration of her stay. Every time she did, looking back, she couldn't help but feel that asking her on a date was an elephant in the room that they hadn't properly addressed. Rainbow had been so uncomfortable and distressed back then. Twilight glanced at her friend, she could still see some of the pain and distress if she looked closely, and more visible was that she was preoccupied with her thoughts again. Although she wondered what Rainbow was thinking about, she didn't ask, even though she could tell it was bothering her. Not asking felt wrong, but if Rainbow wanted to tell Twilight, she would have said what she was thinking about when the princess asked her earlier.
Twilight tore her gaze away from Rainbow and turned back to her own thoughts. The time after she had just been released from the hospital was even harder than when she was in the hospital. She was faced with the challenge of living her life without her horn, she couldn't use magic. It was hard, and she knew it would never stop being hard. She had the support of her friends, and Spike and Starlight had been invaluable in helping her, but there was only so much they could do.
Eventually, Rainbow showed up. She smiled at the memory, the pegasus waking her up on the balcony, then taking her inside and staying with her until she fell asleep. And then the next day when Rainbow stayed with her all night long. Twilight had enjoyed waking up with her, but thinking about it worried her. She remembered just how worried and nervous she had been. She didn't want to think about that. She forced the thought and memory aside.
It was replaced by Rainbow's voice echoing in her mind, 'It was nice... I enjoyed it, I wouldn't mind doing it again sometime." Twilight smiled at that memory. She closed her eyes and took another deep breath, hoping it would calm her nerves and help vanquish the painful memories. She lifted her hoof to her chest, then extended it straight out as she exhaled. It helped, but only a little. That thought made her open her eyes and look at the cobblestone street.
'How long am I going to be this way?' Twilight wondered. 'Until my horn grows back?' she asked herself, to which no answer came. 'I will never completely recover... will I stay like this for the rest of my life?' That thought hurt. Despite Rainbow sitting right beside her, despite her leaning against Dash, despite the pegasus' wing being wrapped around her back, once more she found herself feeling useless.
She was an alicorn without a horn, a pony with a special talent for magic who couldn't use magic. Sure, she had learned to take care of herself with her hooves and wings, but there was only so much she could do without magic. Her friends supported her, they helped her, but it wasn't fair to them. She should be able to take care of herself, but she couldn't. She was a princess who couldn't take care of herself, couldn't protect herself, couldn't protect anypony, couldn't help the other princesses, and couldn't fill the role she was meant to. A stray thought crossed her mind, one which caused her to swallow. The stray thought was met by an immediate response, however. 'You're not a burden.' Rainbow's words echoed in her mind.
It helped, but what helped more was that Rainbow took that moment to rub her side with her wing, then squeeze her. Twilight blinked. The thoughts, worries, and fears all fading, being replaced with fond thoughts of the pegasus beside her. She turned to Rainbow. The mare smiled a gentle, reassuring smile at her. "Are you doing okay?" Rainbow asked. "You just kinda... well, you looked like you were in pain."
Twilight hesitated before answering. She took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes. I'm fine, I was just thinking... about..." she trailed off pursing her lips, then she turned away from her.
Rainbow frowned. "About what?"
Twilight shook her head and leaned away from Rainbow, sitting up straighter. "It's not important," she replied.
Rainbow's frown deepened and her brow creased. "Twilight, if it's hurting you, then it is important. Talk to me, please."
Twilight glanced at Rainbow, surprised by her tone. She was concerned, more than normal. She bobbed her head as she thought about it. She didn't really know how to tell Rainbow what she was thinking about, her first thought was 'I was thinking about us.' She was not going to say that to Rainbow, she didn't want to keep having that conversation, it never went the way it was supposed to, or at least it seemed that way to her. "I was just thinking about when I was sick."
"You don't feel sick right now, do you?" Rainbow asked, scrutinizing Twilight for anything that seemed off about her.
Twilight shook her head. "No, I'm fine."
Rainbow examined her for a few more seconds, then decided that nothing looked wrong with her, aside from her missing horn. She turned away from the princess then glanced over the buildings surrounding the plaza. "I think Fluttershy might like it here," she commented idly.
Twilight furrowed her brow. She wasn't sure that she would agree with Rainbow, Canterlot was a busy city, although the plaza seemed to prove an exception. She blinked a couple times then looked around, trying to figure out where they were. At first glance, the area looked no different from any other section of Canterlot, but upon further scrutiny, she realized that the area seemed to be at least partially abandoned. The area was clearly still being maintained, but it looked like the buildings were unoccupied. "Maybe," she replied.
A few seconds passed, then Rainbow took a deep breath and rubbed her wing up and down Twilight's side. "You ready to get going?"
Twilight sighed. She wasn't sure that she was ready to leave, but Rainbow was being patient. 'I'll have to remember where this is,' she told herself. "Yeah..."
Rainbow hopped off of the bench, then turned around to face Twilight while she slid off and onto her hooves. Rainbow walked around to Twilight's left side, then the pair set off again.
Rainbow blinked as Twilight opened the door. As far as she could see, the walls were lined with bookshelves filled to the brim with books. She sighed and slowly shook her head. "You lived here before moving to Ponyville?"
Twilight turned around to face her. She tilted her head to the side quizzically. "Yes?"
Rainbow groaned. "Of course you lived here. In a library. Before moving to another library." She snorted and smiled. "That's so you."
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with having easy access to any knowledge you might need to reference!" Twilight shot back indignantly.
"You can't learn everything from books, Twilight," Rainbow said.
Twilight shifted her weight and looked down at the floor. "I... I know. I mean," she looked back up at Rainbow, "there's not a book for handling every single friendship problem I've come across..." as she spoke, her brow creased. "As much as I wished there was..." she added under her breath.
"Hey, you learned from first-hoof experience how to have friends! That's gotta be better than reading it in a book, right? Just think about all the things we've done together," Rainbow replied with a smirk.
"We have done some pretty amazing things, haven't we?" Twilight said thoughtfully, smiling back at her friend.
Rainbow nodded and walked on passed Twilight, entering the tower. "Yeah, we have." As she walked inside, she tilted her head upwards and glanced over the top bookshelves, then she turned her head to the left, and then the right. The room seemed like something Twilight would like, especially Twilight from back when she had first moved to Ponyville. She smiled at the memories and turned her gaze to the large hourglass that dominated the center of the room. "We really have..." she said absently.
No sand was falling through the hourglass, all of it was piled in the bottom. She frowned at the sight. It made her think. She tried to distract herself by looking around the room again, but nothing held her interest. The room itself was sparsely decorated, save for the books, and it didn't have a shred of a feel of being somepony's home. There wasn't anything there that offered a shred of comfort to her, anything that she could call familiar. The only thing she could say that did comfort her was the alicorn standing just inside the door, the same princess that lived in the tower before moving to Ponyville. How Twilight could have lived there eluded her, it also bothered her.
Twilight walked up to Rainbow then slid up against her, breaking the pegasus' trance. Rainbow glanced at her and pulled her wing out from between them and laid it over Twilight's back. Twilight smiled her thanks, then glanced around at the bookshelves, each one holding memories from a lifetime ago. Rainbow looked back at the hourglass. "This place doesn't feel very much like home," she said.
"Well... I haven't lived here for a few years," Twilight answered. She cast her gaze downward. "Although, even then it really wasn't much different from what it is now..." she trailed off with a sigh. She twitched an eyebrow upwards and bobbed her head to the right. "My castle is my home, but it doesn't feel like home at times..."
Rainbow turned back to Twilight and frowned. "You know you don't have to live there, right?"
Twilight furrowed her brow and looked over at Rainbow. "I'm a princess," she said.
"So?" Rainbow asked. "I'm pretty sure you lived in a library before you got that castle, Twi. Back when you were a princess without a castle. I don't think anypony would hold it against you if you didn't live in the castle."
Twilight pursed her lips. "Maybe... but I'd feel like I was rejecting the gift from the Tree of Harmony... It's not like I don't appreciate the castle, it's just-"
"Yeah..." Rainbow said sympathetically. "It doesn't feel like home, even after we put the roots of the library in it, does it?"
Twilight bobbed her head and looked at the floor. "It feels more like home now, but it's still so empty... not that I don't appreciate the privacy."
"What about with me staying there with you?" Rainbow asked.
Twilight smiled absently, remembering every time they woke up together. "That helps."
Hearing Twilight say that brought a smile to Rainbow's lips. "Well, you know, when we get back to Ponyville you can stay with me if you want."
Twilight pressed her lips together. She thought about it for a few seconds before shaking her head. "No." She turned back to Rainbow and smiled weakly. "Thanks for the offer, but... I wouldn't want to impose. I should stay at the castle so I don't cause you any more trouble than I already am..." she trailed off looking away from Rainbow.
"I don't mind," Rainbow replied. "Besides, I thought you liked my bed more than your own?"
Twilight shifted her weight and held her wings tighter against her sides. "W-well, I do... Your bed is nicer... but it's your bed."
"Hey, I've been sleeping with you in your bed," Rainbow countered. "You could stay with me if you want to be somewhere that feels like home." Rainbow paused and frowned. "Isn't there some saying about home and where your heart is or something?" she asked.
'Cadance would certainly agree with that...' "Yes. It's home is where the heart is," Twilight answered.
Rainbow smiled at her. "See!" she said enthusiastically. "You should stay with me..." Her excitement slowly faded, but it didn't completely disappear, "...since you love me."
Twilight clenched her jaw and leaned away from Rainbow, then she turned to Rainbow and looked at her with an empty expression. "Do you really want that?" she asked sadly.
Rainbow's smile disappeared. She swallowed. For a few seconds, she just stared at Twilight. Rainbow slowly pulled away from Twilight, sliding her wing across her back before folding it to her side. Twilight closed her eyes, immediately missing her friend's warmth and the comfort and protection she felt from being under her wing. Rainbow walked around in front of Twilight and looked at her seriously. "You know I'm not good at these sort of things, Twi..."
Twilight opened her eyes and stood up at her full height. She looked down at Rainbow and swallowed. No matter how hard she tried, she found her gaze drawn to the two beautiful magenta orbs that were Rainbow's eyes. "What... what sort of things," she asked.
Rainbow groaned and threw her head about in annoyance. "Twilight, you're the smartest pony I know, but..." she trailed off, sighing. She shook her head and met Twilight's gaze. "This. Dating... romance.... love. I don't... I'm not used to this sort of stuff. That's all Rarity's stuff, not me stuff. I don't do mushy stuff like that, but..." she trailed off under her breath, looking down at the floor. What she had been thinking about all day briefly fluttered through her mind. She looked back up at Twilight and met her gaze. As beautiful as Twilight's eyes were, she found them intimidating. Every passing moment drained more of her resolve and determination. Every passing second made her more uncomfortable and nervous than the last. She felt her strength start to falter. She clenched her jaw. She wasn't sure how to say it, but she knew that she had to, and yet she couldn't. She tore her gaze away from Twilight's eyes and trailed over her features. She bobbed her head from side to side.
Twilight waited patiently for her to say something, anything, however, as time passed, she could see Twilight grow physically weaker, and more emotion bled through into her features. Rainbow hated it. She hated seeing Twilight like that, she hated seeing Twilight hurting, even more so when she was the cause. She wasn't going to hurt her like that again. She drew on her courage and reaffirmed her determination and resolve. "But I am for you," she said in a firm, determined voice, putting as much effort into making Twilight understand what she said as she could. Whether it was what she said, or how she said, she didn't know, but she could see the slightest hints of relief passing over Twilight. It still wasn't enough for her liking. "I've not done anything like this with anypony before, Twi. I've never dated anypony and I've never slept with anypony before, other than you. Those aren't the kind of things I'd do with just anypony, Twi. If... Rarity found out..." she shuddered at the thought. "Look, you're my best friend, okay? You're the only pony I've ever actually given any thought to spending my life with. I made you a promise, and I'm going to keep it, no matter what. Even if things don't work out for us, I won't leave you."
Twilight swallowed then smiled softly. "Rainbow, I believe that... I do... But..." She stopped smiling. "I don't want that if you don't... want to be with me."
"Twilight..." Rainbow groaned. "I do want to be with you... I... I think I love you," she said quickly. Twilight's expression became unreadable. Rainbow grimaced and shifted her weight. "I've been thinking about it all day. I just... I can't tell. I don't know if I do or not..."
Twilight licked her lips, her heart rate slowly picking up. "Y-You can't tell?" she asked at length.
"I don't know..." Rainbow sighed and looked down at the floor. "It's not like I've done this before..." She looked back up at Twilight. The princess could see the uncertainty and worry in her eyes, although she didn't notice the slightest hint of a quiver in her lip. "And I don't want to say that I do and it end up being a lie. I... I can't do that to you, I know how much that would hurt you... And that would hurt me. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I did that. But I do want to be with you. You're my best friend, Twilight. I don't want anything to change that."
Twilight tentatively stepped forward and leaned against Rainbow. She slid her head forward and pressed her neck against the pegasus' neck, then wrapped her left arm around her back. Rainbow tensed up. She felt unsure about the contact. Twilight could feel Rainbow's muscles tense up, and her first instinct was to pull away in fear. She fought past it and took a chance, she swallowed and affectionately ran her neck up and down Rainbow's neck. Twilight smiled when she felt the mare's tense muscles relaxed. Rainbow sighed and wrapped her arm around Twilight, then leaned into her and nuzzled the back of her neck.
A few seconds passed before Rainbow pulled back. She looked sheepishly at the floor, shifting her weight and ruffling her wings, feeling awkward and embarrassed. She glanced up at Twilight. The princess was smiling a soft, gentle smile, one directed entirely at her. Twilight's smile vanquished her embarrassment and brought a warm smile to her lips. For a few seconds, neither of them said anything, both of them simply looking at each other. Rainbow eventually blinked and turned away from Twilight. She walked a few steps towards the door, then turned around. "What do you say we go somewhere else or do something, then we can come back here another time and you can show me around?" she asked.
Twilight bobbed her head and walked over beside Rainbow. "I suppose we could," she said. "Do you have anything particular in mind?" she asked.
Rainbow smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of her mane. "Ah, sorry, no. I'm not that familiar with Canterlot."
Twilight frowned and pursed her lips. Rainbow watched the alicorn's eyes flash about, darting left and right as she thought about something. A few seconds passed before she looked up and smiled softly. "We could go cuddle?" she suggested.
Rainbow nodded, slowly at first and building up in eagerness. "Yeah, let's do that. That always seems to help you relax."
Twilight puffed out her lower lip and looked at Rainbow with big eyes. "I don't want to do it just for me, I want you-"
Rainbow lifted her hoof to her forehead and groaned softly. "Twilight." She shook her head and set her hoof back on the floor. "I enjoy it too."
Twilight smiled nervously at her.
"Okay, listen," Rainbow said. She lifted her hoof and lightly pressed it against Twilight's chest, drawing the princess' gaze downwards. "Just close your eyes and take a deep breath."
Twilight looked back up at Rainbow. After a slight hesitation, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then exhaled and opened her eyes.
"Feel better?" Rainbow asked.
Twilight bobbed her head as she analyzed how she felt and compared it to before. She nodded and smiled. "Yes, I do," she said simply.
Rainbow smiled at her. "Good. Now, are you ready to go and cuddle?" Twilight nodded eagerly. She turned away from Twilight and started off towards the door "Alright, let's go-" 'Cuddle...' She paused midstride, grimacing at the thought. It was a foreign thought to her, something she would never have imagined herself saying of her own free will, let alone saying it eagerly or enjoying cuddling. Twilight walked up beside her and looked at her quizzically. Rainbow flashed her a smile and eagerly draped a wing over her back and pulled the alicorn against her.
Twilight's eyebrows shot up and her mouth fell open for the briefest of moments before she closed it and smiled even more warmly than before. She slid her neck up against Rainbow's neck and leaned against her.
Rainbow chuckled nervously and rubbed her wing against Twilight, reaffirming her grip. "This is kind of weird with you being taller than me," she said.
Twilight pursed her lips and leaned away from Rainbow. She glanced over the smaller pegasus and frowned. "And I'm likely going to get taller," she said with an apologetic smile.
"How tall?" Rainbow asked.
"I don't know, I could end up as tall as Celestia," Twilight answered.
Rainbow squinted at Twilight. "That... that will be interesting..." she trailed off. "Not sure how easily I'll be able to hold you if you get as big as Celestia."
Twilight smiled mischievously. "Isn't it obvious?" she asked in a playful voice.
"Uh... no..." Rainbow said with a nervous smile.
Twilight leaned against Rainbow and pulled her wing out from between them and wrapped it around Rainbow. She slid her head up against Rainbow's neck. "I'll hold you," she whispered teasingly into Rainbow's ear. She nuzzled Rainbow and giggled. She leaned slightly away from Rainbow and frowned. "It would be a long time before I grew that much if I was going to grow that much," she said more seriously. She swallowed and looked down at the floor. "You might not be around by then."
"Twilight..." Rainbow said softly. She hated seeing Twilight like that. She brought her hoof up to Twilight's head and nudged it towards her. She smiled reassuringly at her. "You don't need to worry about that. That's decades from now! You don't have to plan ahead that far or even think about that far into the future, you have enough problems to deal with today without worrying about tomorrow." Twilight smiled weakly. "Come on, let's go."
Twilight swallowed and nodded. "Y-you're right," she said. "I do have enough to worry about right now without fretting about the future..." She looked at Rainbow's back and withdrew her wing, folding it against her side, then she slid out from under Rainbow's wing and hung her head low while walking over to the door. "But I don't know how to stop..." she said softly.
Rainbow hesitated for a second before flapping her wings and catching up to her. "Just... stop thinking about it and enjoy today. Enjoy being with me," she said in a lighthearted voice. Twilight paused and looked up at her. Rainbow casually landed beside her. "Just relax and take a break from everything. That was the whole purpose of this trip after all."
"Rainbow, I'm a thinker... I can't just stop thinking," Twilight replied softly.
"Then think about me!" Rainbow said energetically.
Twilight slowly looked down at the floor. "If I do that I worry about losing you... I can't take that, Rainbow. I... I can't."
Rainbow walked around in front of Twilight and she wrapped her arms around the alicorn's neck. "Twilight, I will never stop being your friend. You're not going to lose me."
Twilight swallowed and pressed her head into Rainbow's shoulder. "I-it's inevitable," she stuttered. "You'll die," she added. "An-and everypony tha-that I know will d-die too," she croaked. With the last word spoken, hot tears burst through her eyelids and rolled down her muzzle until they found their way into Rainbow's coat. She wrapped her left arm around Rainbow's neck and held onto her as if her life depended on it. "A-all of m-my fri-friends w-will." Twilight fell to her haunches, the only reason she didn't fall flat on the floor was because Rainbow was there to catch her and support her.
Rainbow sat down on her haunches and squeezed Twilight, hoping to banish her fears. She pressed her head against Twilight's neck, hoping to comfort her. She ran her hoof through Twilight's mane, hoping to ease her pain. "Twilight..." Rainbow said gently.
"I-I guess th-that I mi-ight n-not ou-outli-live you-ou all n-now, b-but..." Twilight sobbed. "E-even if I d-die before-ore yo-ou, I'll still lo-lose you..."
"Shh..." Rainbow cooed, still running her hoof through Twilight's mane. "It'll be okay..." She unfurled her wings and wrapped them around Twilight.
Twilight clenched her eyes shut tighter and slid her muzzle down, then pressed her forehead against Rainbow. Twilight's only solace against the onslaught of thoughts betraying her was Rainbow, every thought stung and she was powerless to stop them, but she wasn't alone, Rainbow was there with her. She wasn't judging her for her weakness. She didn't think the sobbing alicorn was pathetic or weak. Twilight took comfort in that knowledge and clung to her friend. "Rai-ainbow," she whimpered weakly.
Rainbow squeezed her. "Just let it out," she answered softly.
Twilight felt guilty about putting Rainbow in the position she did. 'I'm truly pathetic, aren't I? I'm an alicorn and I cant even... deal with what that entails,' she condemned herself. She clenched her eyes shut and pressed her head into Rainbow's shoulder. She had no idea how long she had cried and sobbed, but her throat hurt and her eyes were puffy and dry. Along her muzzle where her tears fell, she felt cold. But worst of all, Rainbow had been there the whole time. She had been so weak and Rainbow had seen it, how the pegasus had managed to stay with her eluded her. "I-I'm sorry..." she whispered in a hoarse voice.
Rainbow looked up from Twilight's back. Her hoof, which had been sliding through Twilight's mane in long, gentle strokes, came to a stop. It was the first thing Twilight had said since her breakdown, and much to her disappointment, she had apologized. It hurt her more than she wanted to admit, and that surprised her. She knew Twilight was going through a lot and needed her friends to be there for her, but she didn't know that Twilight had so many other problems she was dealing with. While Twilight had been sobbing, Rainbow had been holding her, trying to comfort her, and thinking once again. As she looked back on it before the accident, she could see subtle signs of the stress Twilight felt, sometimes more visible than others, but she had never really noticed her worrying about them all dying or outliving them.
She squeezed Twilight with her arms and held her tight. It was something that she had found comforting when she was a filly, her dad would hold her, but it was different. Once or twice, Fluttershy had done it for her too, although in those times it hadn't had as much meaning since she hadn't thought about it as much. On many occasions, she had joined in on their group hugs, but those weren't the same since most of the time they were happy moments. "Don't apologize. You needed to let that out," Rainbow replied.
Twilight tensed up at that. "B-but I'm so weak and pathetic! I'm a princess and I can't even handle my own emotions, how am I supposed to help rule a nation if I'm such a mess? How am I supposed to help anypony when I can't even take care of myself!?"
Rainbow pulled her head back from Twilight, causing the alicorn to shy away from her and look down at the floor. Rainbow waited to see if Twilight would look up at her, but when it became apparent she wasn't going to, she brought her left hoof around to Twilight's muzzle and proded it up. Even as Twilight's head rose, her eyes remained fixed looking as far down as she could. Looking into Twilight's eyes almost overwhelmed her with pain, she could see how damaged, hurt, and broken the princess was. She hated it, the pain only detracted from her beauty. She determined to fix that. "You are not pathetic, Twilight. You are strong, one of the strongest ponies I know." Twilight's eyes moved ever so slightly. "You're dealing with a lot. A lot more than most ponies ever have to. You're in pain, you lost your horn, and on top of that, you are such a kind, caring pony! You don't want us to see you in pain because you don't want to hurt us, don't you?" Twilight shied further away from her. Rainbow sighed. "Seeing you hurting does hurt, but knowing that you're bottling it up hurts worse. Sure, you're a princess, but you're still a normal pony like anypony else. Stressing about Equestria right now isn't something that you need to do, though."
Twilight looked up at her and met her gaze. "But-"
Rainbow silenced her by pressing her hoof against her mouth. The alicorn shifted her weight. Rainbow wrapped her arm back around Twilight once it was clear she wasn't going to continue. "I'm not good with words. I'm trying. You need to... stop planning, stop thinking so much, stop worrying... You need to relax and enjoy the moment. I'm trying to help you with that, but I can't unless you let me."
"I don't know if I can... but I'll try," Twilight said, looking back down at the floor "Thank you for... everything," she said softly. She swallowed and took a deep breath, then looked back up. "I... I think I'm ready to go back to the tower," she said cautiously. Rainbow flashed her a smile. Even with as drained and empty as she felt, Rainbow's smile brought a smile to her lips.
"Good..." Rainbow trailed off, bringing her arms back down to the floor and standing up. She kept her wings around Twilight's back and offered her a hoof to help her stand back up.
Twilight bit her lip and tentatively accepted Rainbow's help, then stood up to her full height. She took a deep breath, then turned around. Rainbow stepped beside her and folded her wings back to her side. Twilight bit her lip and took another deep breath. 'Am I really ready to go back outside?' she asked herself. The thought of having another breakdown like the one she had already went through, but in public, was insurmountable. She tried to recompose herself, she filed away her broken state of mind to deal with later, unfortunately, the filing cabinet was bursting at the seems and wouldn't be able to hold much more. She glanced at Rainbow, the pegasus offered a soft, fond, and reassuring smile. 'She... cares about me.' The thought helped, but the realization helped more, knowing and understanding that Rainbow cared about her enough to promise to stay with her gave her a deep feeling of peace. Even if Rainbow didn't love her, she would stay with her. She took comfort in the knowledge, but at the same time, in the back of her mind, she felt condemned by it. 'I'm asking too much of her...'
'She offered. She promised,' another voice retorted. 'And she said she thought she loved me...' Twilight took a deep breath and turned back around. She licked her dry lips and fluffed her wings at her side, then she quickly wiped her eyes with the backs of her front hooves. "Thank you again. For coming with me and helping me. I couldn't do this without you and... I will never be able to repay you."
Rainbow elbowed her in the side, drawing a hurt and indignant glance from Twilight. "You don't owe me anything," Rainbow replied. "Now come on, I'm getting bored!"
Twilight's eyebrow slowly lifted up over the course of a few seconds, during the same time, Rainbow found herself blushing and looking away from Twilight. "You're really looking forward to cuddling with me, aren't you?" she said playfully.
Rainbow shot her a firm glare. "You're really soft and it feels nice!" she replied. "Don't you dare tell anypony I said that..."
Twilight closed her eyes and smiled, then giggled. "You're not the only one who is looking forward to it," she replied. She opened her eyes, but retained the warm smile. "You're..." she trailed off, looking away and feeling heat growing in her cheeks. "You're really soft too..."
"So! You ready to go?" Rainbow asked loudly, changing the subject. Twilight smiled and nodded, then started walking toward the door. Rainbow beat her wings and landed ahead of her, then pushed open the door for Twilight.
Twilight paused and gawked. "I... I... wasted..." she turned to Rainbow. "H-how long was I..."
Rainbow frowned and glanced out the door. She was equally surprised. The sun was substantually further down in the sky than it had been when they arrived. As if to reinforce that reality, Twilight's stomach growled. Rainbow looked over at her and found the mare grimacing and looking down at the floor.
"I... I can't believe that I wasted so long crying... I..." She pressed her eyes closed and took in a deep breath, her body shook as she inhaled.
"No," Rainbow said firmly. She jumped over to Twilight and pressed her body against hers, then wraped her wing around her back and pulled her close, preventing Twilight from having another breakdown. Twilight looked up and over at her. "Come on, let's go." She started forward, and Twilight joined her after some coaxing.
When the door closed behind her, Twilight found herself very self-conscious because Rainbow's wing was still around her. Rainbow paused at the stairs, and Twilight took the opportunity to shift her weight. Rainbow looked over at her questioningly. Twilight glanced back at her wing and bit her lip. It wasn't that she didn't like it, she loved feeling Rainbow's wing around her back, as far as she was concerned, it was one of the best feelings anypony could experience, but it was something she knew Rainbow would rather not be seen doing. Rainbow blinked, then shifted her weight and folded her wing back to her side. Twilight took a small step away from Rainbow. "I know that you'd rather not be seen doing that..." Twilight said in a low voice.
Rainbow looked back at Twilight, then slowly away from her. Once again, she felt divided. She was cool and she was awesome. She wasn't somepony who did mushy romantic things, those things were uncool. She did enjoy some of those things though. She bit her lip and groaned. 'I'm also brave...' At the thought, she quickly unfurled her wing and wrapped it back around Twilight, drawing a surprised look from the alicorn and making her heart pound inside her chest. "I'm brave enough to admit I enjoy this," she said firmly. She fought off the urge to add 'At least to you,' since saying that would be admitting that romance scared her. She still wasn't anywhere near ready to even say that she might have feelings for Twilight to anypony except the mare herself. In her mind, however, that only served to make her braver, telling the pony she might've had feelings for. She dismissed the voice that said it wasn't that brave because Twilight had all but said she loved her.
Twilight closed her eyes again and smiled. A few seconds passed, then she opened her eyes and started down the stairs.
Rainbow quickly fell in sync with her. "So... a late dinner, or would you rather still just go cuddle?" Rainbow asked.
Twilight slowed down as she considered it. Both options were tempting, and for most of the walk down the stairs, cuddling was winning. Her stomach wasn't very happy about that, and she was getting queasy. "Dinner," she eventually answered. "I'm feeling a bit queasy, though," she admitted. "But I am hungry... I could go for something light?"
"So you want to eat at the castle? Your tower? Or maybe you want to go somewhere else?" Rainbow asked.
Twilight came to a stop. For a brief moment, Rainbow didn't realize Twilight had paused. Only when she felt her body and wing sliding across the mare more than it should have did she realize that Twilight had stopped. She turned back to her. Twilight was wearing a perplexed expression of curiosity and fear. "Twi?"
Twilight blinked and shook her head. She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry... Um... I never really ate out that much in Canterlot. I didn't really like it," she admitted. "Sanwich?"
Rainbow blinked and shook her head. "You know, I thought princesses were supposed to like fancy fro-fro food and upper class stuff like that."
Twilight frowned. "None of us really do..." she mused. "Are sanwiches fine, though? If not, we could... walk around and look for a place to eat or something."
Rainbow thought about it for a second, then nodded. "I could fix a couple hayburgers for us," she offered.
Twilight smile and her eyes widened. "It's been... ages... since I've had one of those..." she said longfully. She turned back to Rainbow. "That sounds amazing," she said.
Rainbow chuckled. "Yeah, I could go for one, but... I'll regret it later when I have to work it off to stay in shape."
Twilight frowned and started walking forward again. "Speaking of staying in shape... you really haven't been keeping up with your... training regeime since you started helping me."
Rainbow grimanced. "Yeah... I'm really going to have to start doing something about that, but I just... I don't feel like I should leave you."
Twilight smiled fondly and glanced over at the mare. "I'll be fine," she said. "Besides, I wouldn't want you to get kicked out of the Wonderbolts for my sake..." she trailed off grimacing.
"Couldn't you just make them reinstate me or something?" Rainbow asked casually.
Twilight pursed her lips and tilted her head to the left. 'I... could do that, couldn't I? It would be an abuse of my power, but according to Celestia, I'm... within my rights to do something like that.' "I could, yes," she answered. "But that's not the point... You wouldn't want that, you would want to earn it back on your own..." 'And of coruse, getting kicked out would... well...' She grimaced at the thought.
"Well... yeah," Rainbow replied somewhat lamely. "I just mean that..." She glanced at Twilight, then looked back forward. "Nevermind."
As they walked on, they eventually left the sparsely populated section and found themselves gradually encountering more ponies, of which, Rainbow was sure a lot of them recognized Twilight, and she was sure a few of them recognized her. Some ponies' gazes lingered too long for her liking, it unnerved her, and she wasn't used to feeling unnerved, especially by attention. She normally loved attention directed at her, but now, it made her feel cautious and concerned for the princess walking beside her. She glanced at Twilight. The alicorn seemed mostly oblivious to it, but it was apparent she wasn't completely oblivious. "Hey," Rainbow said.
Twilight looked over at her. "Yes?"
"You want to fly back instead of walking?" Rainbow asked. "Cause... walking kind of sucks. And it's slower."
Twilight giggled. "I'm enjoying the walk," she said, then glanced around. "But... I could make an exception."
Rainbow pulled away from Twilight. As she pulled away, she looked away from her to hide a smirk and made a point to drag her wing over Twilight's back. When she looked back, Twilight had stopped and had her eyes closed. There was a small, fond and content smile on her lips. After her wing left Twilight's back, the alicorn opened her eyes, then unfurled her wings. Rainbow mimicked her, then beat her wings casually and hovered in the air. Twilight flapped her wings and joined her, then the two flew up above the buildings and set off towards the castle.
No sooner had Rainbow landed than she had opened the door and motioned Twilight inside. No sooner had Twilight landed than she shifted her weight uncomfortably, half expecting Rainbow to bow to her and refer to her status as a princess. As she walked inside, she sighed in relief. No comment about being a princess was forthcoming from the pegasus, and Rainbow didn't bow to her. For the briefest time after she became a princess, her friends bowed to her. She didn't like it, it felt wrong, especially considering that the only reason she became a princess was because of them. If it wasn't for them, she wouldn't even have any friends. She owed them a lot. She smiled fondly.
Rainbow shut the door behind her, then locked it and immediately flew over to the stairs which led to the kitchen. She landed to open the door, then turned and looked over at Twilight. "You just going to stand there or are you going to come with me to the kitchen?"
Twilight blinked, Rainbow's voice breaking her from her memories. She turned to Rainbow and nodded, still smiling happily. She trotted over to the pegasus and started down the stairs. A second later, Rainbow was hovering beside her. "You do have everything to make hayburgers, right?" Rainbow asked, glancing at Twilight.
Twilight nodded. "I should, yes."
"Good," Rainbow said. They continued on in silence, gradually making their way down the spiral staircase until they came to the kitchen door, then Rainbow landed and walked inside. She turned on the magical light with a flick of her wing and looked around. She flew over to the cabinets and countertops, then turned back to Twilight. The alicorn was casually walking over toward her. "Buns?" she asked as she turned around and walked over to the nearest cabinet.
"Farthest cabinet on the left, top shelf," Twilight answered. She watched Rainbow beat her wings and land in front of the cabinet, then pull open the doors and grab a bag of buns. The pegasus set the bag down, then turned back to Twilight. "Plates are in the corner cabinet," she said preemptively. Rainbow flew over to the corner to withdraw the plates. Twilight walked over to the counter, then bent down and pulled open a door to withdraw a sack of hay.
"I wanted to ask you the other day, but I kinda forgot. These plates have your cutie mark on them. Is that because you're a princess?" Rainbow asked. She idly ran her hoof over the emblem of Twilight's cutie mark.
Twilight glanced at Rainbow and nodded. "Yes. I have some plates identical to those back at my castle, too." She turned her attention back to the sack of hay and unfastened the string around the sack, then stuck her muzzle into it and sniffed. She was quite pleased with the fresh, fragrant smell of hay. If she had to guess, they had restocked the kitchen the day before they arrived. She smiled and put the sack on the table, then closed the door and turned around.
Rainbow flew passed Twilight leisurely, then set down two plates on the counter. She pulled out two buns and tossed them into the air. Twilight watched them with trepidation. To her surprise and relief, both buns landed safely, one on each plate. Rainbow picked the plates up with her wings, then balanced them as she walked over to Twilight. Twilight stepped out of her way, then Rainbow deposited the plates on the counter beside the bag of hay. "How much hay do you want?" she asked.
"Just a little," Twilight answered.
Rainbow pulled out two tufts of hay, one about half as large as the other, which was about the size of a filly's hoof, then she slid the hay between each bun. She glanced around the countertop until her eyes settled on a plump, reddish spherical vegetable with a green stem. She pulled it over with her wing and glanced back at Twilight. "Want tomato?" she asked as she grabbed a knife in her spare wing and held it threateningly over the unsuspecting tomato.
"Yes," Twilight answered. "Make sure you put it under the hay," she added. "I like the hay when it's crisp."
"Yeah, it's a lot better that way," Rainbow agreed. She slid the knife through the soft vegetable skin, then cut it's flesh and pressed the knife all the way through its body, cleaving it in twine. Red liquid spilled out onto the counter, followed by yellowish seeds as the hapless vegetable found itself brutally assaulted. She quickly repeated the action twice more, cutting off two decent sized slices of tomato, then she flipped the hayburgers over and took off the bottoms. She dropped the tomato slices into place, then replaced the bottoms and flipped them back over before any tomato juice could dampen the hay.
Rainbow picked up the two plates and balanced them on her hooves, then she flew over to the table and set the plates down. "Did you want ketchup?" Twilight asked as she made her way back over to the table.
"Uh, sure," Rainbow replied.
Twilight paused, then turned around and walked over to the refrigerator. She opened the door with her wing, then grasped the cold bottle of ketchup between both of her wings. She winced a little as she grasped the bottle, not used to the undersides of her wings being cold, since they were normally folded against her sides. She pulled the bottle of ketchup out and shut the door, then walked over to the table and set it down. She pulled out her chair, then sat down and scooted the bottle of ketchup over to Rainbow with her wing.
Rainbow took the bottle of ketchup, then slid the top bun off her hayburger and shook the bottle vigorously for a few seconds. After she was sure the ketchup was mixed well, she squirted out some over her hay, then closed the lid and set it aside. She put the bun back on her hayburger and pressed it down firmly. She picked it up with her hooves, then brought it to her muzzle and took a big bite out of it, then she started chewing it vigorously.
Twilight, on the other hoof, took a much smaller bite and chewed more slowly and methodically, and while Rainbow's gaze was on the alicorn, Twilight's eyes slowly trailed around the room, looking everywhere except Rainbow. As Rainbow scrutinized Twilight, she saw more signs that the princess was uneasy rather than relaxed. The alicorn would shift her weight every few seconds like she couldn't quite find a comfortable position, but the subtle shifts were barely noticeable. Her wings looked tense and were pressed firmly against her sides.
Rainbow finished chewing up her bite and then swallowed. "Do you want me to sit by you?" she asked, thinking back to breakfast. She smiled a little at the memory, knowing that it helped Twilight feel better.
Twilight looked over at her and bit her lip. For several seconds, she was on edge about the offer. She wanted to accept, but Rainbow was hungry and she didn't want to inconvenience her. Rainbow took Twilight's worried expression and lack of a reply as an answer. She hopped out of her chair, then picked up her plate and flew around to the other side of the table. She pulled out a chair next to Twilight, then sat down in it and casually brushed her wing against Twilight's side. Out of the corner of her eye, Rainbow saw Twilight's concern melt away at her touch.