Spike had not intended such a plan to be literal.
In retrospect he should have specified this in advance.
And, if he was being entirely fair to Twilight, ponies who appeared from nowhere and immediately attempted to glomp you would set off the fight or flight reflex of anypony.
The pony he had mentally taken to calling the pink menace had appeared, as if by magic, almost the second they had touched ground. This was especially impressive considering she was an earth pony, who supposedly had neither wings nor magic. He could only imagine the horrors she could wreak if she had such powers.
Spike shuddered at the thought.
The pink menace had taken one look at the frantic Twilight and grabbed her up in what could only be described as a minotaur hug. How she had gotten her hooves around his boss in such a way, or had managed to lift her up almost ten feet off the ground, even with earth pony strength, was beyond his understanding.
The pink ponies impromptu intervention had even seemed to be working for a moment. Twilight's feverish breathing had evened out, her eyes had lost that glassy look that spelled oncoming disaster and, if his eyes had not deceived him, she even appeared to hug back for a brief moment.
That was until she regained enough brain function to realise she was ten feet up in the air having the air squeezed out of her by a strange pink pony,
The ensuing buck to the face, teleportation across the field, and screaming gallop towards the village really was quite in proportion, all things considered, Spike thought.
Even if Twilight had completely forgotten about him in the process.
He looked over at the pink menace still sitting on the ground; her unnaturally curly mane now hanging limply down her neck. He hadn't been sure what to expect from such a hyperactive pony, but it certainly wasn't the concerned pony now looking rather dejectedly at the spot where Twilight had just disappeared.
"Does this mean she doesn't want to be friends?" She whispered to herself, her eyes watering. "I don't think anypony's ever wanted to not be my friend before."
She looked helplessly up at him. "Did I do something wrong? I only wanted to give her a 'Super Duper Pinkie Pie Welcome to Ponyville.'"
Spike opened his mouth. No sound came out. He didn't know what to say.
"Maybe I just didn't give the right 'Super Duper Pinkie Pie Welcome to Ponyville.'"
Her eyes focused on Spike. Spike felt to sudden urge on back away. Drawing on his many glorious campaigns as a knight, all performed under the safety of Ogres and Oubliettes of course, he stood his ground.
"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie. Welcome to Ponyville." she said calmly.
Well that had been unexpected.
"Hi, I'm Spike." the young drake said hesitantly. "Um, that was Twilight." he said, pointing a claw at where she had disappeared. "We're supposed to be here to make new friends, but she's not super good with new ponies."
Spike watched in confused wonder as, before his eyes, Pinkie's mane seemed to reinflate, poofing out at wild angles, as his apparently new found friend grinned back at him.
"Don't you worry Spike the dragon, we'll soon fix that! I'm friends with every pony in Ponyville, and they're all going to love Twilight and you! And that's a guaranteed Pinkie Pie promise! Did you know you're my first ever dragon friend?" She laughed. "Silly me! Of course you couldn't, I hadn't told you yet. We'll have to have a party to celebrate that. Not to mention the super duper double 'Welcome to Ponyville' party. Does Twilight like parties? Do you?"
She looked over at Spike for an answer before suddenly continuing her spiel. "What am I saying. Of course you like parties. Everypony likes parties!"
She leaped up into the air in excitement. Spike tried very hard not to measure just how high she jumped. Chalking it up to another of Pinkie's eccentricities appeared to be for the best.
"SO much to do! I'll have to get cake, and streamers, and party hats, and hot sauce!" She turned around, still muttering to herself. "Mustn't forget the hot sauce."
Waving a hoof back at him, she zoomed off at unnatural speeds towards the town.
Spike blinked. Stranger things had happened in the castle; though admittedly not many. He shrugged, then began the long walk into town.
Why had Twilight made the chariot park so far away anyway?
*****************************************************************
Twilight Sparkle was not having a good day.
Unscheduled assignments from the princess, crazy ponies attacking out of nowhere, a distinct lack of books. It was days like this that made her long for the simplicity of her tower, locked away where nopony could bother her.
Now that she thought about it, that was probably why she didn’t get out so much.
Perhaps Luna had the right idea.
Then again Luna didn’t warn her about the crazy ponies.
Library. There was a library in Ponyville. Her library. She would be safe there.
Sanctuary.
She only had to get to it.
She was just considering how best to discover its location without having to interact with any more crazy ponies who were likely to squeeze her to death, when a sophisticated looking mare approached.
Sensing no immediate desire to huggle from the mare, Twilight resisted the urge to scurry further into her corner and risked meeting the mare's gaze.
"Are you quite alright, darling?" The mare's cultured voice seemed kind Twilight thought. Like the Canterlot nobility but without the edge of elitism. Maybe not all ponies were as crazy as the pink menace from earlier.
Jerkily Twilight nodded.
The mare seemed to understand lowering herself to Twilight's level to sit on the cobblestones. "It was Pinkie Pie wasn't it? She means well but she's always a little too enthusiastic about welcoming new ponies. What's your name dear?"
Mind calmed and functionality restored, Twilight finally felt some sense of normalcy reassert itself.
"I'm Twilight Sparkle. I'm not moving here. I'm just here for the Summer Celebration for my teacher Princess Luna. She wanted me to make some friends, but I'm not really very good at it."
"Nonsense dear you're doing just fine. Now how's about we get you inside before your coat stains from sitting on this horribly dirty ground."
At Twilight's nod she stood up, before suddenly gasping and grasping her yellow sundress to check it for stains. Sighing at a muddy patch on the back her face fell before she quickly forced a smile back onto her face.
"Never mind about that. I can always make another. I'd be a terrible seamstress if I couldn't. Now where can I take you? There must be somewhere you're staying overnight before the Summer Sunrise? I'd be happy to show you the way."