S2 Chapter 10: Next Great Cider
-Xavier's Recap-
The next day, Jack came home disappointed. The little prank he had thought would make Ponyville "never look at AJ the same again" had failed. Apparently the mayor learned to tell the difference between handwriting and hoof writing. The letter he wrote to the mayor said something about AJ not being able to control herself around Jack and having her being rutted silly by him, which is why she lost. You know, because she wouldn't be able to move as well? Lucky for Jackyboy, Mayor Mare was cool enough to not tell Applejack. Wouldn't want to lose one of his two fillyfriends. Yes, I found out about him and Button Mash's mom. Button Mash was playing with Bri and his friends one day and she came over to pick him up. I saw them kiss upon greeting. Didn't say anything. Jonathan did though. Called him "Jack the MILF magnet." Not that he knew what a MILF was, just the fact that M stood for Mother.
Jeff on the other hand, still refusing to do as the Romans, started raising more of a fuss on how we're settling a normal life with alien magical horses. My response: "Well, they're intelligent, we have our own source of power, a source of income, and they're supplying us with water and food. It's been working for years." I don't know how this hasn't sunk in his head yet that we'll probably never see another human besides ourselves ever again. And besides my 9 year old sister, he'll probably never see another human female for a long long time. Who cares about him though? Everyone else kinda left him alone to his little world of wannabe badassery while he left us to exist in the strange reality we're currently living in.
Moving on to yesterday, I was rudely woken up by Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy (but really just Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy was just shyly fluttering outside the window) at the crack of dawn for some stupid cider event. Dash said something along the lines of "The taste of Apple Family Cider will be totally worth the early wakening, but we gotta get there before Pinkie!" I honestly didn't care too much. One minute I'm in my bed, the next I was being flown by Rainbow Dash to Sweet Apple Acres like I was going to Super Jail.
"Life on the outside ain't what it used to be."
Anyway, as if my bad luck on Earth followed me here and started haunting Rainbow Dash instead, we found ourselves at the end of an entire town of tents. I was pretty sure that there were people coming from other towns to get in line for cider. I couldn't help but chuckle at the apparent loss of color from Rainbow as we got to the back of the line. After a while we saw Pinkie walk by with more cider than she could probably drink (if she wasn't Pinkie). That was enough to double Rainbow's sour attitude, and mine too considering there would no doubt be enough for everyone. So I decided to give Pinks a hard time with her conscience by stealing her little song from a year ago.
"YA GOTTA SHAAAAAARE! YA GOTTA CAAAAAAARE! IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO!"
Needless to say, Pinkie was no longer able to enjoy her snacks as well as she wanted to thanks to my trolling. Good. She shouldn't, with her stingy ass. Atleast it seemed to brighten Dash's mood a little bit. Unfortunately there still wasn't even close enough for most, which made Dash a little spazzy. Apparently this isn't the first time this has happened, so I took her home for a lil cheerin up (No, I don't mean like that. Get your mind out of the gutter!).
-End of Recap-
(Wednesday 3/22)
"DUDE! DUDE! Ya gotta wake up!"
I was in the middle of a nap when I was woken up by Jack. For fuck's sake, Jack...
"What..."
"Dude! Applejackandherfamjustchallengedsometwinstomakecidertomorrowandlosergetsscrewed!!!" Jack said, grabbing my shirt.
I looked down at his hands and back at him, raising an eyebrow. "If you don't stop grabbin on my shirt like you lost your damn mind and speak some English please."
The commotion had woken up Dash who was sleeping near the foot of the bed. "Wha-s goin on?"
"Jack, explain slowly and clearly."
After taking a few breaths, he started explaining. "You know how everyone's tired of there never being enough cider for everyone?"
"Yeah! And it stinks!"
"Shush Rainbow." I returned my attention to Jack. "Okay, go on."
"Right. Well, turns out they got competition. These two quartet lookin guys, Flim and Flam, they got this machine truck that makes Apple Cider and quick!"
"That sounds awesome! I'll finally be able to get some delicious cider!"
"Okay, so what's the problem?" I said, furrowing my brows, trying not to blow him off to return to my nap. Luna and I were busy having fun making a city. Thank you for interrupting.
"They offered to partner with the Apple Family but AJ and her folks refused so now they made a deal that tomorrow whoever makes the most cider wins, and loser cant make cider in this town ever again!"
"Maybe they should've upped their production like we've been asking for every year?" Dash said, nearly resisting the urge to rant.
"I ask again. What's the problem?"
"They make a lot of bits from making cider! If they lose the bet, they could lose their home!"
"WHAT?!" Dash and I yelled unanimously.
Before I could comprehend what I had just heard, Dash was out the window. Jack was following close behind her. I sat there contemplating what I should do. Should I go and express my concern? I looked at my pillow which was figuratively begging to hug my head. Or should I worry about it tomorrow?
...
"Applejack doesn't like me that much anyway. I'd probably just make things worse." I told myself. So I sent Bri on my behalf.
-Jack's POV-
The next day, Xavier and I checked on how the farmer family were doing. My lil' bro and Xavier's little sister tagged along and I wondered why...
"Yo Bri. Whatcha both followin' us for?" I asked.
"Apple Bloom's a friend and the Cutie Mark Gang wouldn't be the same without her!" Jonathan answered for her.
"That's right. We're gonna help her."
Xavier chuckled. "What about Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle?"
"AAAAAAAUUGH!!! OH MY GOSH WE FORGOT ABOUT THEM!!!" Jonathan screamed out loud. "Brianna you get Scootaloo! I'll get Sweetie!"
Then the two kids split. Me and X had walked all the way down to Sweet Apple Acres, and sure enough the two unicorns now known as the Flick Flack bros or whatever their names were, had already started their apple cider making machine in competition with my gal and her family. I started wondering what would happen if I sabotaged the machine and just ended it right then and there. Then Applejack and her family would stop talking to me for a while. I had a point. The Apple Family didn't take too kindly to cheaters, but took pride in fair play.
I'm not Rainbow Dash, anyway.
"So, what do you think we should do to help?" I asked him.
Xavier had stopped walking to think. "I have an idea, but I doubt it'll work."
"What? Why not?"
"Did they see you? How'd you find out about this?"
"Well, I was workin in the Apple farm when they came by. I didn't exactly approach them, ya know? Was sorta busy bringin' in apples since AJ and the rest of em were busy, so I picked up where they left off. After they left, AJ told me what happened and I came runnin home to tell ya."
Xavier smiled. The smile that soon turned into a grin. The grin that could only mean one thing. Just to be sure, I had to ask.
"Your inner troll is hungry, isn't it?"
-Third Person POV-
Things weren't looking good for the Apple family. Big Mac, AJ, and Apple Bloom were all running on fumes, nearly exhausted. Her friends had joined, but even then, they were only making a fraction of cider that Flim and Flam were making. Twilight noticed that not all of her friends were there to help, mainly AJ's guy. She found it pretty odd that he wasn't here helping considering what was at stake.
"Where are the hu-"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"
In an instant, a loud growl was heard as three large green creatures came out of the orchard just as Flim and Flam were about to claim their victory. They were also covered in red metal armor and seemed to use scraps as blades. They looked like large goblin/machine hybrids. Their red eyes, stared at the farm ponies as they charged at them.
One of them had a weapon, which looked like one of the guns Jeff had carried around often, but more alien. It fired at Big Mac, hitting him until he was coated in dark red spots, yelling "DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!!" Applejack and Apple Bloom watched in horror as their big brother fell lifelessly on the ground. The surrounding ponies didn't think twice before panicking. Twilight cast a shield over her friends and Applejack's remaining family members there.
"YAH! LIKE SHOO'IN' SQUIGZ IN A BARRAL!!"
"I WAN' THEIR TEEF!!! DON' TOUCH THEIR TEEF!!"
A few other ponies were hit once and managed to limp away or were carried by other ponies. The Flim and Flam brothers were well enough on their way, having seen enough of the carnage caused by the three green monsters. Applejack and Apple Bloom were hugging each other in tears under Twilight's bubble shield. The causes of the carnage approached the fallen Apple member. One of them looked at the ponies surrounded by the bubbleshield and when it approached, Twilight strengthened the shield. The other two were poking and prodding at Big Mac's corpse. One started rubbing his finger on Big Mac's nose, making the large stallion lift a hoof to rub it.
"Get up, Mac. You're scarin your sisters."
As Big Mac stood up in confusion, he noticed he smelled of nothing more than paint. The creature near the bubbleshield looked at the ponies and took off his 'head' to reveal another head, one that belonged to one of the humans, specifically AJ's boyfriend.
"And ze farm is saved!" Jack said out loud.
The other humans, Jeff and Xavier, took off their costume heads having a huge grin on their faces. Looking pretty angry, Twilight removed her shield spell. Her eyes were twitching as strands of her mane started popping into curls. She was seething.
"What will it take for it to get through your thick human skulls that THESE TYPES OF PRANKS ARE NOT OKAY!!!"
"Yeah! You made poor Fluttershy faint!" Rarity yelled.
"And you killed our brother!" Apple Bloom shrieked. Jack looked back at a now standing Big Mac who was hosing the paint out of his coat, although not looking too happy. This calmed her down at least. "Oh..."
The same couldn't be said for her sister, who was being held back by Rainbow Dash and Pinkie.
"Now hold on, Applejack. Nopony got hurt, and we do still have our farm here." Granny Smith to the rescue! "Those Flim Flam brothers won't be around here ta bother us no more. Ya can't argue with good results, and although it sure as hay wasn't nice the way they did it, we have them ta thank for it."
Jack stood proudly. "Besides, as much as I'd like to take credit for this heroic deed, this was all Xavier's idea."
"You're welcome." Xavier said, leaning against an apple tree.
Applejack tilted her hat forward and walked over to him and smiled. "Ah'd like ta thank ya kindly."
"No problem, AJ." Xavier said, nonchalantly.
"Ah'd like ta give you yer payment." and gave it a good buck. A couple of apples had hit Xavier on the noggin.
"Thanks?" He said, rubbing his head.
"Don't you mention it."
-Xavier's POV-
Yeah, that went better than I expected. I had a feeling if it wasn't for Granny Smith's words of wisdom, we'd be running for our lives. Instead, we're all enjoying a barrel of Apple Family cider, leaving the rest for returning customers. Jeff went to try a cup of the Flim and Flam brothers', but after one sip, he did a cup pour that could match Dean's and left. Jack and I took a look inside of their cider barrels and found leaves, crushed bugs, and other things that would make you vomit. There was even a squished earthworm floating around. We didn't bother to tell the girls what was in it, but we assured them that they would've won without our little intervention. At least they forgave us anyway. Dash thought thought the prank was clever and Twilight just couldn't stay mad at me. I knew her weaknesses and sometimes I don't play fair:
While everyone was drinking the last of the cider from the barrel, I noticed Twilight kept cutting glares at me. Each time I look at her, she looked away with the same sour look on her face. I walked over to where she was and her ears folded back. Yeah, she mad.
"Heya Twilight."
"Please, just don't talk to me right now."
"Yeah, I got you again."
She simply huffed, rolling her eyes. "Whatever." She mumbled.
"Doesn't hurt to have a sense of humor ya know." I said, scooping her up and holding her.
"Woah! Put me down!" Twilight demanded, struggling to get free from my hold.
"Nope."
"Put me- Xavier! Now!" She fussed, but I could see her smile. She so wanted to be mad at me, but I wouldn't let her. "Ngh, you're cheating again~!" she fake-whined.
"Yup. You know me well."
"Two can play that game." She said smugly before she teleported out of my arms in a bright flash of purple. You know when you play Call of Duty or Battlefield when you take a flash grenade to the face? That's what I was seeing. Needless to say, I couldn't see where I was going very well and tripped over a tree root. Rolling over on my back, the flash bang effect went away. I was staring up at Twilight who was staring down on me with a sultry look. "That's what you get for cheating." She planted a kiss and started to walk off.
She would've won the round, but I looked over to the right of me and saw my Orc head still there. Putting it on, I got up and slapped Twilight's flank forcing her to yelp. She turned around, saw the orc and shrieked.
"AAAAGH!!! XAVIER YOU BIG-"
