Reasonably quiet around the house, the knock on the door was audible.
Derpy rose from the table, leaving the Doctor with Dinky for a few minutes as she headed to the landing and, as was her usual custom, tripped over a chest of drawers and hit her head on the door.
"You alright, love?" The Doctor had grown used to her habits but Dinky gave a few nervous mumbles before the stallion calmed her.
"Uh...I think so" Derpy took a few moments sitting on her rump until her head stopped spinning, then shook it a couple of times before getting around to answering the door.
"Hey Derps, how's it hanging?"
It was Rainbow Dash, a headstrong but faithful filly with a trademark rainbow-coloured mane. She was one of Derpy's most trusted friends who sometimes took shifts for her.
"Hi Dash" Derpy said awkwardly "Sorry, I banged my head"
Rainbow Dash chuckled.
"Maybe if you spend too long being a mailmare you just get way too used to knocking on doors, it doesn't feel right when you're answering them"
The two laughed although Derpy wasn't quite certain what that meant.
"Yeah...um...you want a muffin?" Derpy asked.
"Sure. Why not?"
She was thrown a muffin from the basket which she caught and munched on casually.
Derpy had known Rainbow Dash since she'd left home. Confident, carefree, a natural flier and good at a great many things, the colourful pegasus was a lot of things Derpy would've really liked to be. She'd always secretly been jealous of Rainbow Dash but she'd never ever resent her for it. Rainbow Dash had stuck up for her on many occasions.
"Sorry I haven't been around, Derpy" Rainbow Dash began in an uneasy, apologetic manner "Ever since I got my cutie mark, I've just been training so hard in Cloudsdale every day. I'm hoping to-"
"The Wonderbolts, right?" Derpy interrupted.
"Shoot, I'm getting predictable" Rainbow Dash chuckled, ruffling Derpy's mane. Though Derpy was around seven years older than her, the cheerful and ever-ready Rainbow Dash acted like an older sister when the grey pegasus, scared and unwise to the world, came into Ponyville some few years ago looking for a place to stay. To say taking care of Derpy was easy would be a great big lie but Rainbow Dash had never regretted it.
"I heard you had your foal"
"Yeah, little Dinky. You wanna' see her?"
"You bet" Rainbow Dash flew in. The home wasn't too spacious but Rainbow Dash wasn't a pegasus that enjoyed walking on the ground. Nonetheless, the Cloudsdale mare was substantially less reckless knowing there was a foal around.
In truth, Derpy had noticed a great increase in how careful she, herself, had been since giving birth to Derpy. All through her pregnancy she'd been terrified of tripping, falling and hurting the child inside her. Nothing ever came of it. She was still a clumsy young mare but not as much as usual.
Rainbow Dash made her way to the kitchen and found the Doctor balancing Dinky on one knee.
"Aw, she's tiny!" the cyan pegasus stared in wonder at the foal who, in turn, gazed in a hypnotised fashion at Rainbow Dash's mane.
"She's amazing, Derpy! She's like a mini-you! You're so totally cute, yes you are" she made a few faces and odd noises, puffing out her cheeks and trying to roll her eyes. Dinky broke into giggles and made an attempt to grab a hoof-full of her vibrant mane.
"She's awesome, Derpy! You done good" She looked up "Hey Doc. I didn't know you were back in town"
Rainbow Dash was known for her short attention span.
"Ah, Rainbow Dash. Good to see you, old girl. I saw you during that Cloud Crisis over Trottingham"
"Yep!" She grinned smugly "I wasn't in the actual rescue corps but I helped get everypony to safety and cleared that tree. Was I awesome? I was awesome, wasn't I?"
"Meh...could've been better"
The Doctor smirked at Rainbow Dash's expression, starting out indignant and swiftly turning to determined.
"Okay, buddy, it's on! You keep a look-out during the next storm rescue! I'll blow you away! I'll blow everypony away!"
"I think that's the storm's job" he chuckled.
Rainbow Dash couldn't help but snigger as she turned to Derpy.
"So the Doctor’s staying at your place?"
"Uh...yeah..." Derpy felt herself blush "He's...helping me take care of Dinky"
"I guess she's in good hooves. Still, if you need a godmother, I reckon she'd grow up to be a totally cool filly with my teachings" She spun in mid-air and made a pose she must have seen in an action-hero movie "It's a shame I can't teach her how to fly"
"It's okay, Dash. Thanks for being here" Derpy sat down "I could use your help. I mean...I haven't delivered the mail for months, ponies must think I'm getting lazy"
"Don't feel bad, Derps, you're on maternity leave. Me, Raindrops, Parasol and the others can handle things. Still, Pinkie Pie round at Sugarcube Corner's missing the days she sat by the mailbox and waited for you. She says you were always exactly on time and she felt a crazy buzz in her ears whenever you were about to deliver the mail"
"Heh..." Derpy chuckled at the memory "Whenever I gave her the letters I'd hear her say 'Whoo' really loudly. And she loves my muffins"
"Yeah, I've still got no idea how you manage to put 'em through the mailbox...like whole"
"That's an old Doo family trick" Derpy giggled.
"That's why you're Ponyville's best mailmare, Derps!" The cyan pegasus gave her a friendly noogie.
"So, old R&D, to what do we owe the pleasure?" the Doctor asked.
Rainbow Dash's tone turned serious.
"Er...Tall Order asked me to tell you. The Mayor and the Council want a talk with you this afternoon. I don't think you're in any trouble this time so don't worry"
"Oh...er..." Derpy looked nervous "...I see..."
The first few months of her job as a mailmare had been a pretty hectic time for her and, in truth, everypony else in Ponyville. Whenever she messed up, which was often, she'd have to come round to speak with the council and plead with them to let her keep her hard-earned job, explaining that she simply wasn't that good at delivering heavy goods or delicate packages or reading post-code. Little by little her job became less and less varied but it was better that way. She'd deliver the letters and parcels around Equestria and that would be it. Unfortunately this had also come at a literal cost as her salary required substantial trimming if she wasn't doing the jobs another mailpony would have to take. She still had no idea how she was going to pay for her flat. It kept her up at night just thinking about it.
"Okay...I'll come round" Derpy gazed at the Doctor and Dinky "We were going to take Dinky round to Sugarcube Corner today. Could you keep an eye on them while I'm out?"
Rainbow Dash gave a small, excited flap in the air.
"Sure thing, Derps. Little Dinky's gonna love it at the Corner, I always do. We'll be fine"
*
The Doctor found Sugarcube Corner bustling with excitement. It was a cosy place but suitably roomy. Dozens of foals were there, enjoying treats of all sorts. Rainbow Dash, idly hovering in mid-air while munching on a cookie, signalled them as they entered. The brown stallion approached the counter where a couple, a lean orange stallion and a dumpy sea-blue mare, proceeded to greet him warmly.
"Hello there, Doctor, we've been hoping you'd pay us a visit" Mr Cake began.
"It's so nice to see you here at Sugarcube Corner" Mrs Cake added and noticed little Dinky carried in a bundle in the Doctor's foreleg.
"And here's Derpy's foal at last!" she cooed "Hello you cute little filly! I've got some nice chocolate milk for you. Better hurry though, little Pinkie can't get enough of the stuff"
"Ooh did someone say-"
"Customers first, Pinkie, you know the rules. And come off the counter" Mrs Cake spoke firmly but gently to the hyperactive pink filly who had, somehow, materialised atop the Corner counter, hopping excitedly.
The Doctor blinked.
"Hi Doc!" She paid notice to the newcomer "Remember me? I'm Pinkie Pie, I remember you from that 'Welcome To Ponyville Party' I threw for you last year! I haven't seen you at Sugarcube Corner for so long! How's Derpy? I love Derpy! She's so funny and friendly and-Oooooh! You bought Dinky! Hey, Dinky rhymes with Pinkie!" She bounced high in the air "This party's just getting started! Wheeee!"
"Settle down, Pinkie" Rainbow Dash landed "Yo, Doc, good to see ya!" She gave him a wink "How' d'you like it here at the corner?"
"It's...quite fantastic" The Doctor breathed in the atmosphere. Everything about Sugarcube Corner was so welcoming. Every treat you were served looked, felt, smelled and tasted so fresh and carefully-made. The Cakes were indeed masters at their craft.
"Do you do jam tarts?" he asked Mr Cake.
"We do indeed" The Cakes produced a selection of the aforementioned pastries of nearly every variation. The Doctor selected three and placed fifteen bits on the counter. Unravelling Dinky from her bundle, he sat down and placed the merry little filly on his knee.
"Afternoon, Doc" A young but massive red stallion appeared, struggling to keep a giggling yellow filly in his hooves. He looked fairly worn-out but cheerful.
"Howdy Mac" The Doctor made a 'tipping the hat' gesture "Is this little Bloom, then?"
"Eeyup" he narrowly stopped his newest little sister crawling up his shoulder "No more'n a bud right now but flittin' around like a fruit-bat soon as she's old enough to use her hooves. Don't like to think 'bout what she's gonna be like when she's our age"
"Enjoy it while it lasts, big guy"
"Course that's kinda' what most foals're like comin' in here. All wound up with cake an' candy. Yours seems pretty mild in comparison"
"Well she's barely a week old. Couldn't get her teeth around cake or candy, no actual teeth yet in fact"
"Ooh, then she and Gummy have a lot in common!" Pinkie appeared beside them, a baby alligator resting on her poufy mane. It blinked out of sync and yawned to reveal a completely toothless set of jaws.
"...splendid" The Doctor had seen many things but the powers the energetic magenta filly had at her disposal baffled even him.
"In my experience," he continued "What you need is to distract them somehow"
"Yay! Distractions!" Pinkie Pie whooped "Do you sing?"
"I can try. It was a few centur-er...a while since but I think I can manage something"
Mac signalled to Caramel, who produced a banjo as the fidgety foals gathered round as the Doctor began a ditty he'd been working on, Dinky still perched on his foreleg, bobbing her head merrily.
Now here's a little story that's worthy of a boast
About a special pony that carries round the post
Some ponies will look left, others will look right
But one mare always looks both ways, 'cause both her sides are bright
Caramel began to strum, Mac gave a rhythmic beat with his hooves on the floorboards and the Doctor began singing with glee.
Oh my old mare's a mailmare, she wears a mailmare hat
She wears a flaxen satchel and lives in a council flat
She looks a little wonky, all wall-eyed, blonde and grey
But you can bet your cutie marks she'll brighten up your day!
*
The afternoon came along with a moderate bout of rain.
Derpy waited outside the Council meeting room, twiddling her hooves as the rain ran down the windows. The lights were on at Sugarcube Corner down the road where the Doctor and little Dinky were finally getting introduced to stallions, mares and foals around Ponyville. Rainbow Dash could be counted on to make sure they made a decent first impression, a skill that Derpy did not possess.
At last, the door opened and her work colleague, the jasmine pegasus Raindrops, let her in, giving her a reassuring smile on the way.
Mayor Mare, Tall Order and Lady Justice, the respective representatives of Ponyville's executive, legislative and judicial government, sat at the table at the head of a simple but spacious council chamber, facing her. At either side of them, secondary council representatives, all of them volunteers around the town, were seated in turn. Derpy recognised most of them outside of the council. Doctor Horse, Nurse Redheart and her sisters, Miss Cheerilee, Pokey Pierce, Colgate, Roseluck and several others. They had grown sympathetic to the muddle-headed pegasus and knew full well that her problems, though numerous, were no fault of her own.
"Good afternoon, Derpy" Mayor Mare said "Thank you for coming here. Now, unlike other occasions, I do not believe you know why you're here"
"N-n-no...I don't this time..." Derpy mumbled, sitting down.
"First off, quite important and something we'd all like to know," Tall Order, a stern but fair legislator, spoke "...how is young Dinky?"
"She's wonderful" The thought of her foal smiling and giggling brought a smile to her face "I mean she gets a little loud and needs a lot of time but me and the Doctor are...almost always on hoof"
"We are very glad to hear it" He straightened his spectacles.
"If it gets difficult, Derpy, do not be afraid to consult us at the hospital or day care, understand?" Nurse Snowheart chipped in.
"I know but..." Derpy shifted in her chair anxiously "I like spending time with her. I'm actually a lot more relaxed caring for her than I have been for a long time"
"That's...quite a good sign" Miss Cheerilee said, a little uneasy but cheerful, appropriate for her name.
"Now, Derpy" Lady Justice cleared her throat "There has arisen an incident quite serious which may involve you directly"
"Oh...I'm sorry...I just..."
"....don't know what went wrong?" Nurse Redheart finished her sentence "You've done nothing wrong, Derpy"
The council members braced themselves as Derpy looked around, confused.
"Let us explain" Mayor Mare began "A few nights after your birth, Miss Redheart, Mrs Cake, Miss Harshwhinny and myself were approached by a noblemare calling herself...Countess Magnifying Glass"
The effect was instant. The poor grey pegasus jerked back in her seat and started breathing heavily, her wall-eyes darting about in different directions, her front-hooves clutching her forelegs as if she were freezing.
"No...no, no, no, I don't...I don't want to talk about her...I don't!"
"Derpy? Derpy, calm down" Colgate placed a comforting hoof on her shoulder "I'm sorry but we simply need to talk about it"
"B-but...but...I..."
"Derpy, you should know that we have no intention of complying with any of the demands she's made" Pokey Pierce calmed her.
"Let us explain and please keep calm. You're in no danger" Mayor Mare said "She showed us the commitment she made you sign" She paused and pushed up her glasses "We destroyed it"
Derpy started, her misaligned eyes wide and staring.
"You...you did?"
"Yes. We dressed her down and informed her, in no uncertain terms, that she was, henceforth, to stay out of your life and should she attempt to cause you any grief of any kind, we would not hesitate to come to your immediate defence. I want you to know, Derpy, we are beside you all the way"
"We have everything we need to prove that you are capable of being a free and independent pony and capable of raising a foal" the sullen but efficient Doctor Horse added, bringing up a hefty dossier "Whether this stays in Ponyville or goes to the palace of Celestia, it'll serve"
"We all care very much about you, Derpy" Raindrops said, smiling warmly "We don't know what happened between you and your aunt but we're not going to turn our backs on you"
"I..." Derpy was mostly speechless.
"Something wrong, Derpy?" Tall Order asked.
Derpy thought a moment.
"...wow..."
"Are you okay, Derpy?" Cheerilee gave her meaningful nod.
"Um...well..." Derpy lowered her head "It's...it's really great that you all want to help me...and I'm really very thankful...but..."
"But?" Mayor Mare asked.
"I...I..." Derpy took a deep breath and collected herself "I don't really want you to..."
"Derpy?" Raindrops asked as the muddle-headed mailmare began to softly weep.
"Please..." she whimpered "Please don't get hurt because of me...she's my problem...I don't want it to be yours..."
"No, Derpy, really" Nurse Tenderheart cooed "We don't mind at all. We're happy to help"
"That's just it! I'm sick of help!" Derpy sobbed "All my life the ponies who were kind to me all say I need help! And it makes me feel like I can't do anything myself...no...it reminds me!" She stood up "I have a foal...and a job...and a house...if I still need help I might need it all my life. I don't want to live like that! I want...I want to at least...pretend...that I'm normal"
"Derpy" Cheerilee voice was nearly quivering.
"I'm sorry" she sniffed "But I've made up my mind. Please don't get involved. If I meet my aunt again, I'll...I'll know what to do"
"What about the Doctor?" Nurse Redheard asked.
Derpy managed a half-smile.
"You're wrong about him" she said "He doesn't just help me. We help each other. We're not so different. I'm really happy you want me to help but...please just let me get by this on my own"
There was a prolonged pause. Most of the council looked worried. Some even looked heartbroken.
"If..." the Mayor put on a brave face "If that's really what you want, Derpy...we'll follow your wishes. But please make sure you at least keep us informed"
Derpy rose, wiped her eyes, sniffed and answered.
"Okay"
*
The song was in full flow by the time Derpy arrived. Everypony in Sugarcube Corner was clapping and stomping to the beat.
"All together now!" the Doctor cheered, thoroughly in flow as Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Big Mac and several other ponies joined in with his daft but catchy song.
Oh my old mare's a mailmare, she's loved by all the colts
She bought a thousand tickets to see the Wonderbolts
Cloud Chaser shoved her sister for cheating in the race
Then Soarin tossed an apple-pie into Celestia's face
Where was the Princess when the chaos did unfold?
She was flying round in circles with her flanks all painted gold!
Singing Oompah-Loompah-Stick it up your jumpah!
Rule Equestria! Marmalade and Buns!
She threw birthday cake at everyone!
Everypony around fell around laughing and cheering, the foals thoroughly satisfied in entertainment for the day.
"Where did you learn that song, Doc?" Caramel hooted.
"In strict confidence," the Doctor muttered "someone very close to the Princess"
"Not Princess Luna?" Mr Cake gasped.
"No. Philomena. It's based off a real story apparently" Those around erupted into even more intense laughter.
"Ooh, we should be careful" Mrs Cake breathlessly fanned herself with a dishcloth "If the Princess actually heard us..."
"Chill out Cup, I know her. The old girl's got a fine sense of humour"
"Hi Doc" Derpy, heartened by the overwhelming merriment in the room, wrapped her forelegs around the Doctor from behind and rubbed her face against his in a tender fashion.
"Whoa, ay-up lass!" the Doctor said "How's things?"
"They're..." she paused, sighing "They're good"
"Are you sure?" They were interrupted by Dinky who had taken her hoof out of her mouth and was reaching out for her Derpy, whining a little. Derpy picked her up and smiled tenderly.
"Oh, I think Dinky wants mummy's milk...er..." She glanced around "Has anyone got a...cloth? I don't want to be indecent"
"Right here" Mrs Cake produced a pink patchwork tablecloth decorated with cupcakes "Pinkie made it herself"
"Ooh-ooh! Are you using my special tablecloth?" Pinkie watched intently at the awkward mother "You wanna' use it for a parachute? It's really fun! Last time I made it all the way to Carrot Top's. I landed right in her vegetable patch but luckily she'd already picked her harvest so nopony got mad at me. I still had to wash up really clean before I was allowed in the bakery again but-"
"Pinkie, you might not want to look" Mr Cake shielded the little filly's eyes.
"Alright, y'all give 'er some privacy" Big Mac declared and Derpy was politely ignored as she sat down, wrapped Dinky up in a sling at her chest and fed her.
"Aw...she’s really hungry. I shouldn’t have taken so long at the Town Hall"
"It's okay, Derpy" the Doctor put a hoof on her shoulder "So what did the Mayor want to talk about?"
"Oh...um..."
Derpy thought long about her aunt. What she'd done. What she could do.
She knew she had a foal.
She wanted to take away her foal.
"...the usual"
It hurt to lie.
That night, Derpy lay awake in her bed, her mismatched eyes staring at the ceiling.
The little walky-talky rested on the bedside drawer. She almost hoped something would cause Dinky to wake up and need her to sing a lullaby or hug her so that she could go to sleep again, just to give her a reason to get up and have some company.
Though her eyes were wide, she was dreaming.
No, not dreaming. Remembering.
Remembering how it felt to be part of a family.
She had been born and grown up in Cloudsdale, the city of pegasi. She'd always been clumsy but, being a foal, nopony paid it too much mind. In fact, they'd found it quite endearing, everypony offering to help her and keep watch as her mother and father revelled in the many joys and responsibilities of parenthood.
As she'd grown older however, ponies started making fun of her. Ponies her age who could fly without crashing into everything in sight.
But now and again they'd visit her mother's home, Canterlot. There she met her grandfather. And her aunt. And cousins. And many other ponies who weren't very sympathetic to a dopey young pegasus exploring the world.
But they were always there. Her parents. And with them came other good ponies, bringing friendship and harmony into Derpy's world.
"Whoops! Heads-up everypony!" The boisterous laughter of Can Doo rang across the garden party at Invitro Hall as a small grey winged foal failed another loop-de-loop and upset another plate of hors-d'oeuvres into another gaggle of humourless ponies.
"Celestia curse it, can't you keep that dolt under control!"
"Look what she's done to my hat! You've not heard the last of this!"
"Where is Count Stained! He's got some explaining to do!"
"I'm awfully sorry everypony, please don't leave just yet. I assure you, my father will put a stop to this" Young Magnifying Glass hushed the throng of angry nobles with a simpering smile, before storming over to her sister, who was holding out her hooves for her daughter. Her hug was always the one thing Derpy would land safely in.
"Why did you bring that! here!" Magnifying seethed through gritted teeth "Look what it's done! Do you know how much this is going to embarrass us?! If the Prince sees this!"
"Oh don't get so fierce, Niffy" Looking sighed as she cradled her dizzy little daughter.
"I told you not to call me that!" Magnifying growled "Where's father?"
"Right here and I'll thank you not to growl at my Ditzy" Can Doo landed before Magnifying and gave her an insolent smack on the flanks with one hoof.
"Gyargh!" Magnifying shrieked, jumping nearly a full foot in the air, barely containing her anger "How dare you! I'll have you in a cell for that, you cur!"
"Whoa! Cool your flanks, you crazy nag" the Wonderbolt chuckled, shrugging innocently "Just messing around! Pretty easy target, I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often!"
"Can, stop flirting with my sister" Looking ordered, struggling not to snigger.
"Don't worry, Ditz, you know I only have eyes for you. And besides..." He sided up to his wife and gave her the same as her sister. She gave a whoop and broke into giggles "...you've always enjoyed that"
"Oh you dirty old clod, come here!" Looking threw her hooves round his neck and kissed him tenderly. Derpy, perched on her mother's shoulder, began playing in Looking Glass's pink and cyan-striped mane.
Magnifying glared at the two lovers and their clueless little offspring and, with a 'Bah!' she stormed off to find her father.
"Yes, yes, marvellous things, cabbages, marvellous. Yes, and the thing that makes them so marvellous is...well erm...well the trick is where exactly you plant it and-and-and...erm...well the marvellous thing is...er..."
Stained Glass was a merry soul, a middle-aged periwinkle-blue-coated unicorn stallion with a mild paunch that came with his age and status, a greying, wild-haired mop of a mane half-covered under his treasured bent old straw-hat and a pair of bizarrely wide glasses, appropriate for his family name and business. Nonetheless, he had a reputation around Canterlot for being a gormless, muddle-headed old stallion, rich in bits but poor in sense most of the time. A nice pony to know but not the best conversationalist. Half the time, not even he knew what he was talking about.
"You-you-you-you have to be careful or...or...oh dear, now something happens, something rather important which really shouldn't happen. No, hang on, if it shouldn't happen, why would it? But then if it doesn't happen then why is so important not to erm...oh dear, what were we talking about? Oh yes, cabbages, marvellous things, yes, yes...and you have to be careful because-"
"Father!" Magnifying Glass had found her father at last.
"Where?" He looked around a moment and finally found his daughter "Oh it's you, Niffy. Hello, Niffy! Enjoying yourself? Me and my friend here were...having a rather fruitful conversation...well, not fruitful, rather vegetable...ful...about cabbages, you see, marvellous things, you know you have to..."
"Father" Magnifying interrupted, gritting her teeth "You are talking to an ice sculpture"
"Am I?" he glanced at the figure he'd been talking to earlier to notice the swan-shaped ice sculpture resting in the punch bowl "Oh..." he paused sheepishly "I am...awfully sorry"
Magnifying stared in dismay as he continued talking to the swan.
"I am deeply, deeply sorry, my dear. I-I-I really shouldn't have made that comment about iceberg lettuces. Just as long as you understand. Er...ah...please feel free to enjoy the wine, my treat. Let's forget this happened and...oh dear..." he glanced at the punch bowl "I'm sorry, dear, you appear to have spilled your drink"
"Father!" Magnifying snapped again.
"Hello Niffy"
"Father, this has to stop"
"Oh yes, yes, no, yes, I quite agree, Niffy, yes. I quite agree..." Stained blustered with vigour before pausing, looking around and asking "What exactly has to stop?"
"Looking's foal!"
"Oh capital, yes, no, quite, no, c-capital!" Stained proclaimed "Looking's foal, yes. You know, I have a daughter called Looking and, don't you know, she had a foal, she-she...she must be nearly a few years old now, the most adorable little thing and such a very happy filly, such a treasure to me and my dear family"
"Father, she's making us look like fools!" Magnifying spoke through gritted teeth "She's ruining the décor and upsetting our guests. We could be due to lose standing"
"Oh, oh, oh, that's...that's...well...we'll have to walk on our knees then..." he chuckled before striding off for his fifth daily check on his beloved vegetable patch, leaving his daughter by the ice sculpture which was now steadily melting perhaps owing to the steam pouring out her ears.
"Milord" Ramekin, the presentable butler of the Glass family, appeared before Stained could successfully extricate himself from the social gathering.
"Ah, hello Ramekin, old chap, any...any news?"
"Yes milord. More guests have arrived"
"Oh capital!" Stained cried "Who exactly?"
"Sir Parsley, sir"
Stained's cheery face immediately contorted with indignation at the name of his arch-gardening-rival.
"Groagh! Wretched Parsley! I knew he'd try to weasel his way around here! Kick him up the backside and send him on his way!"
"Father, Sir Parsley is the local baronet" Magnifying Glass stepped in "To have him appear at our gathering brings the Glass family great pride"
"Pride? Pah! No pony worth their pottage would take pride consorting with that old charlatan, 'Ghastly' Parsley! Ramekin, is MacTrowel standing at the ready?"
"Mr MacTrowel is presently guarding his lordship's vegetable patch with a watchful eye, sir"
"With rifle and buckshot?"
"Cocked and ready as per your instructions, sir"
"Good stallion. I want him on high alert, do you understand? Tell him if Parsley or any of his despicable associates come near a single leaf on the Empress, shoot the blighter, without hesitatation, understand?"
"Father!" Magnifying gasped.
"I shall see to it that Mr MacTrowel receives his orders, sir. Also arriving are the Lord and Lady of Briefly Manor"
"Oh capital! I haven't seen them in years, yes...who are they again?"
"That would be Lord Pantaloon and Lady Petticoat and their son"
"Ah capital...I'll enjoy their company"
Derpy enjoyed riding her mother's shoulder. At eight and a half years old, she was still quite a small filly and, being a pegasus, was light. Looking enjoyed it as much as her daughter did as she walked with her husband over to greet her father.
"Hello, Lucky!" Stained called out "Hello...ah..." he paused at his son-in-law "Now, I remember now, it's something like...er...Mortimer?"
"It's Can"
"Ah, close then"
"...yeah, well done dad" Can chuckled and patted his father-in-law on the shoulder. Stained was quite unlike the aristocrats that were the stereotype of unicorns in the pegasus community. Stained looked highly upon the Wonderbolt that had won his daughter's heart. He also adored his granddaughter and allowed her to freely test out her wings throughout Invitro Hall. A broad smile appeared on his face and his grey eyes twinkled with joy as he noticed Derpy.
"Hello little one. Is she enjoying the gathering, little ah...Derpy? Yes?"
"That's right, father. Derpy loves the outdoors, don't you my little treasure"
Little Derpy gave a giggle and shook her head from side to side like a bell.
"Capital!" Stained chuckled, ruffling Derpy's blonde mane "We'll make a Wonderbolt of her yet, or anything else really, I should think it's up to her"
"Well said, pops" Can Doo nodded, patting him again.
"And now you must come with me. An old friend has arrived who I think she really must be introduced to...and vice versa"
They paced leisurely over to the topiary arch entrance to the grounds as three guests had arrived, unicorns, a husband, a wife, and a colt in his teens.
All three of them were well-dressed, prim and smiling warmly at the Glasses.
The stallion was black-coated with a short mane hidden underneath a top-hat and a light-blue moustache and beard, luminous on his coat, as sharp and clean-cut as his ivory-white suit. His eyes were a bright gold that shone like crown jewels.
The mare was porcelain white with a tumble of magenta mane running over her right shoulder. Her eyes were a deep blue that swallowed up those that looked into them in a blanket of contentment. She was dressed comparatively plainly in a purple hobble-dress and a small chapeau over the left side of her head.
Their colt stood between them, admiring the sight of the grounds. He possessed the porcelain coat of his mother and the blue mane of his father, parted in the middle and curling slightly over his ears. He was a few years younger than Can and Looking but looked quite a bit older thanks to the blue fuzz of a moustache he was growing. He was wearing a black jacket and, a strange fashion statement for his age, a monocle. As he turned in all directions, nearly spinning, as he took in the sight, the cutie mark of three crowns presented itself. To possess such a mark at this age, the colt was clearly a prodigy.
"Panty and Petty, my dear old chums, it's been so long!" Stained cheered with a mighty smile as he and the black stallion hugged like the age-old friends they were.
"Stained, I have missed the sound of your voice" he chuckled "I am terribly sorry our work in Trottingham's kept us away for so long"
"Think nothing of it, sir. Now, I simply must introduce the newest member of the Glass Family Household, my third and youngest granddaughter, Derpy Doo" And with that, he proudly turned them to face Looking, Can and Derpy.
They were quiet for a moment, taking in the sight, their faces betraying nothing, their opinions entirely ambiguous.
"I say" The colt said at last "She looks jolly bright. Doesn't she, father?"
"Indeed, my boy" The stallion replied without much hesitation, starting to smile at the foal and wave one hoof. Derpy did likewise with great enthusiasm, murmuring a greeting.
"'Sup" Can Doo gave the Wonderbolt salute.
"Hello everypony" Looking gave a curtsey, before taking Derpy off her shoulder, holding her in her hooves and introducing her.
"Derpy, these are three very special ponies who have been very good to us" She turned her to the stallion "This is Lord Pantaloon" She turned her to the mare "This is Lady Petticoat" And finally she turned her to the colt "And this is their son, Fancy Pants"
As Stained took Pantaloon and Petticoat off to discuss with them the marvel of cabbages, the young Fancy Pants smiled at Looking Glass warmly and kissed her hoof.
"Hello again, Looking, old thing. So sorry I've been away for so long"
"Oh I’ve missed you, Fancy" Looking turned to Can "Can, this is Fancy Pants, a dear family friend since our earliest days. Fancy, this is Can Doo, my absolute wonder of a husband"
"Delighted, dear chap"
"Yo" They shook hooves "So you and Ditzy go way back?"
"I'm sorry sir...Ditzy?"
"Her nickname. Me and my buddies called her that back on Cloudsdale"
“Ah...I hadn’t heard you’d gone to Cloudsdale”
“It happened while you were at Trottingham. I met Can at a Derby and he took me up to the city of pegasi himself”
“I remember, you always did love the clouds”
“I did indeed. Can was still in training at that point but...well...”
“With Ditzy around, I barely slipped up at all. Real good for my confidence” Can finished his wife’s sentence “Caught the eye of Wind Rider himself and the rest is history. It’s thanks to her I became a Wonderbolt”
“Well bravo, my dear chap” Fancy Pants nodded “And congratulations, both of you, on your charming foal”
“Thank you, Fancy. Just be a little careful around her. She’s still getting used to her wings and her balance isn’t fantastic”
“Family trait” Can shrugged “I was terrible in the air in my foal years. My brother Will was worse”
“Can’t be helped. No worry, I’m sure she’ll get the hang of it soon enough. Why I remember, and I’m sure Looking does in turn, I was never much of the excelsior myself when it came to unicorn magic”
“Ah, yes...I remember” Looking nodded with a hint of embarrassment “I still have no idea how you managed that. One moment you’re trying to turn that water into ice, next thing we know, the guests are running from the dressing room with a pink rhino charging for their flanks. And my father, of course, was laughing his head off”
“Indeed. One would never imagine, after that fiasco, I’d get into Princess Celestia’s School For Gifted Unicorns”
“Whoa, nice break there” Can chuckled “So if you two were close when you were foals, I can only assume this is the part where you tell me ‘If You Break Her Heart, I’m Going To Ruin You Financially’, right?”
Fancy Pants gave a bray of laughter and adjusted his monocle.
“Oh no, old fruit, I see no need. I know Looking to be a wise mare and an excellent judge of character. If she has indeed chosen to marry and have a foal with you, I can therefore keep myself safe in the knowledge that you are, overall, a good egg, worthy of her hoof and I say good times to you all”
“Thanks...sir” Can scratched the back of his neck bashfully “You’re pretty cool, I gotta say, for a-”
“And besides...” Fancy Pants cut him off. His tone remained perfectly calm, relaxed and a little chirpy, as if complimenting one’s dress attire “If you, hypothetically of course, did break the heart of Looking who, for so many fondly-remembered years, has been such a good friend to me, you’d have far...far worse things to worry about than your finances...your blindness for instance...your consistent immolation...or perhaps even the modest collection of flying rhinos charging after you day and night, driven by a need to crush unfaithful stallions to a pulp. I believe that...my good sir...would take priority”
There was some small amount of silence.
Then Looking burst out laughing.
“Oh Fancy, you big softy!” She hugged him and then hugged her husband, neither of them quite comprehended her merriment.
“You’re good stallions, both of you. And I’m so lucky to be able to trust you, do you know that?” She kissed Can fondly on the cheek.
“I love you, darling”
Derpy, giggling with her mother, though she didn’t know why, made a leap for her father who caught her in her hooves and nuzzled her.
“Thanks Ditzy. I love you too” he said “And don’t you worry. I’m not going anywhere”
But he did in the end.
And so had mother.
After she’d grown up, grandfather Stained had been sent away to a special hospital and her aunt was in charge. When Stained had been around, Aunt Magnifying had wanted Derpy, or ‘Irregular’ as she insisted on calling her, kept inside out of sight.
And after that, when the house was, at last, hers, she wanted her niece gone. Where to and for how long, she did not say but Looking and Can had some idea and they did not like it.
But then they disappeared. Lost in a great storm. Magnifying assured Derpy that they would not be coming back and never once did she show pity or even sorrow. She just told her that Invitro Hall was her home and that ‘mistakes’ like her must earn their keep if they wanted to belong anywhere.
It had taken so many years to eventually work up the courage to leave.
Especially after what they did to her at that place.
Derpy felt her body wrack with sobs as she curled up on her bed.
Why didn’t they just give up? She was gone. Wasn’t that what they wanted? Weren’t they better off? Couldn’t they just say they didn’t know her? Why? Why was her aunt back? Why was she trying to stop her being happy? And why was she after-
She suddenly realised she wasn’t the only one crying. The walky-talky had started ringing as Dinky began to wail, woken in the night and not knowing where her mother had gone.
She was relieved that she had someone to take her mind off what it was going through right now. Stumbling out of bed, she made her way to Dinky’s room.
The light was on.
With a tightness constricting her heart, she rushed over and flung open the door.
“Calm down, love. You’ll get her agitated again”
The Doctor stood beside Dinky’s crib, the little foal settling down as she was gently rocked side to side in the stallion’s hooves.
“Er...” Derpy stared blankly “It...looks like you’ve got it covered”
“I dunno’, it seems like she might want you” The Doctor turned Dinky slightly to face her mother. At the sight of her, the foal gave a desperate burble and reached out with her tiny hooves.
Gratefully, the grey pegasus took the foal in her hooves and sat down on the nearby chair.
“You don’t have to stay here, you know” she said to the brown stallion.
“I want to stay, Derpy”
“No, no, I mean just, like...in here, in Dinky’s room. You can go back to bed if you want”
“I know. I want to stay and help. I’ve nothing better to do, and besides...” She placed a hoof on hers as Dinky started to close her eyes.
“I’m a responsible pony”