Three days later, and I still hadn’t built up the courage to go and see Twilight again. I had cried when I made it home. Angel had sat by my side the entire time, stroking my fur. He was such a good bunny. I looked into my tea, searching it for answers I knew it wouldn’t provide. I sat the cup down and closed my eyes. It was nearly time to meet Rarity for our spa day. A knock on my front door pulled me from my thoughts. I looked up, eyes wide, at the door. “Fluttershy, darling, are you in there?” Just Rarity. I let my body relax and opened the door, letting her in. “Oh, thank goodness. Twilight came to me this morning. You have the poor dear worried sick.”
She didn’t deserve that. It wasn’t her fault I was me. “She is?” I asked.
“Yes, seems to think you’re avoiding her. She said she came by twice yesterday and saw you running up the stairs.” Rarity turned and faced me, looking directly in my face. “Are you avoiding her?”
Under her gaze, I could do little more than nod. Shame washed over me in waves. “I didn’t mean to at first. I panicked.”
“Well, no matter. She will be joining us at the spa.” Rarity turned toward the door, and I gaped after her.
She turned back once she realized I wasn’t following. I shook my head. “I can’t,” I said. Knowing she would be there had me frozen in place.
Rarity walked back to me, placing a hoof on my shoulder. “You at least owe her an explanation, Fluttershy. As I said, the poor thing is worried sick wondering what she did wrong.”
With a deep breath, I nodded. “Okay.” I could do this. It wasn’t that hard. Just go and talk to Twilight. I had talked to her nearly every day for the last two months. I could do this.
I couldn’t do this. Twilight sat alone in the waiting area of the spa. Her head jerked up as we entered, and her eyes met mine. Her expression was guarded, more guarded than I had ever seen, but her eyes also showed her hurt. Rarity walked to the counter and talked to Lotus, asking for the full package for the three of us. The silence between the three of us roared as we picked up our towels and made it to the steam room.
Rarity seemed determined to stay quiet. I expected Twilight to say something, but all she would do was look at me, wince, and look away. It landed on my shoulders to break the silence. The room was so full of steam that I could barely make out Twilight’s form when I gathered my courage.
“Twilight,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Yes?” Her voice was even, as if she were taking great care to control how it sounded.
What was I supposed to say? I’m sorry that I freaked out because you have a special somepony. She didn’t know I knew, that was information she hadn’t shared with me yet. I spent so long trying to make myself talk, I hadn’t thought of what I should say. I gathered a breath and sighed.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you or make you concerned.”
I heard her shuffling, her wings sending large spirals through the heavy steam. “Then talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong. I can’t fix something if I don’t know the problem. If it’s something I did, let me know. I miss you.”
My heart pounded. “There isn’t a problem,” I said. “It’s all just me. I need to work through some feelings I’ve been having.”
She scooted closer to me, and now I could see her expression. Her eyes were red from holding back tears. “If you need help, I’m here.” She reached out, slowly, and grabbed my hoof. “You’re too important for me to lose because I didn’t try.”
I sat there for a moment, just staring at her. The steam was lessening now, since no one was applying water. “I was jealous. I am jealous,” I said, pulling my hoof back and looking away.
“Of who?” came her reply.
I continued staring at the heated rocks. “The last time I visited you. Do you remember telling Starlight you had a special somepony? I’m jealous of them. I want to be your special somepony.” I dared a look at her face.
Her mouth hung open and her snout was wrinkled, her brow furrowed in confusion. “What?”
My cheeks reddened. “It’ll be fine,” I said. “I’m glad you found somepony.”
Twilight shook her head. “Fluttershy. No. No, that’s…it was just a formality, I didn’t think…” She locked her gaze back onto me. “Fluttershy,” she said, scooting even closer to me. “Do you remember that talk we had, nearly a year ago, about your anxiety.” I nodded. “Titles put pressure on you.” I nodded again. “And maybe the same can be said of labels?” She put her hoof on my cheek. “You are my special somepony. I was afraid of the formality putting undue stress on you.”
My heart sped up as I realized what she was saying. I looked at her, my heart finding its way back to its proper place from the pit of my stomach. All the things we had done together, all the glances she had given me. Every brush and smile and cuddle.
“I adore you. All the time we’ve spent together, going on nature hikes or reading in my library. I…” she giggled. “Fluttershy, I love you. Will you be my special somepony?”
I grinned. “Of course I will.” She opened her arms and I leaned forward into the hug, holding her close to me. A suspicious lack of awws caught my attention, and I pulled away. “Where’s Rarity?”
Twilight smiled. “She slipped out near the beginning. I asked her to skip this part.” Her hoof rested on my cheek again. I watched as her eyes left mine and traveled down, landing on my upturned lips. She met my eyes again, barely raising her eyebrows, before leaning in. I met her halfway, our lips pressing together for the first time.
I pulled away. “I love you too, Twilight.”
She giggled and stood. “We should probably get out of here. I think Rarity will be okay with us skipping out on the rest of the spa day, don’t you? So we can, um, talk more.”
We decided to stop at a little grove on the way to my cottage to talk.