Vinyl and the Cutie Mark Crusaders had spent the better part of an hour looking for the old man, but to no avail.
"We're never going to find him," Sweetie Belle said sadly. "He could have gotten back in the TARDIS and gone on to mars by now!"
"He wouldn't just leave us!" Scootaloo said defensively. "Not without saying goodbye!"
"But he ain't himself," Apple Bloom sighed. "He ain't even the Pony he's become! His head's all scrambled from the Regeneration! He could be lost, or hurt!"
"From what you told me about the old coot, he can take care of himself," Vinyl said. "What's the big deal about this guy, anyway? Okay, I get the whole 'extradimensional alien' thing, but why is everyone acting like he's our only hope."
"He might be..." Sweetie Bell trailed off.
"He's the one who stopped the Daleks a month ago," Apple Bloom said defiantly. "We watched him stop a pointless war. He worked in the background to make sure everything was fixed with Cadence and Shining Armor's wedding! He's the reason we still have a town at all!"
"And now he's sick..." Scootaloo started to sob. "He's sick and he's confused and he needs our help... And we can't..."
Vinyl looked at the three fillies weepinng silently in the middle of the road and realized that the old man was important. At least to them. "Okay, Vi, think," she said, moving her mind from babysitting to helping. "I have just had my mind scrambled and put into a new body. This happened because my archnemisis beat me until I was nearly dead, and this is the only thing I could do to survive. Meanwhile, I just had a big argument with an evil ghost snake. Where would I want to be right now..."
And then it dawned on her. "I'd want to be hammered."
Vinyl had a few questions as she looked through the window of the Hollow Leg Tavern on Old Hollyville Road in Ponyville. Firstly, why had the Doctor entered a bar, and a fairly tough one, and ordered nothing but Earl Grey tea?
Secondly, how did he manage to get what Vinyl knew from experiences running a nightclub, to be fairly mean drunks, to sing in unison? Far from on key, but in unison...
Thirdly, and most pressing; Where did the Doctor get the Concertina?
"Beer beer beer, tiddly, beer beer beer," the Tavern patrons sang joyfully, slurring nearly every word. "Tiddly, beer beer beer."
"Of course, that would be the bit you picked up on quickest, eh chaps?" the Doctor joked. Howls of laughter and grunts of agreement followed. "Let's see if you all can pick up on the rest of the chorus next time around, now listen...
"The Hollow Leg, the Cider Spot,
the Hole in the Wall, as well,
There's one thing you can be sure of,
It's Charlie's beer they sell,
So come on, ye lucky lads,
At Eleven O'Clock ye stop,
For five short seconds,
Remember Charlie Mopps."
The whole bar suddenly fell silent. Then the patrons began counting. "One... Two... Three... Four... Five...
"HEY!
"He must've been an Admiral,
A Sultan or a king,
And to his praises,
We shall always sing,
Look at what he's done for us,
He's filled us up with cheer!
Lord bless Charlie Mopps,
The man who invented beer beer beer, tiddly, beer beer beer, tiddly, beer..."
"How many more verses do you think this song has?" Scootaloo asked in seeming horror.
"I'm too scared to find out." Vinyl handed Apple Bloom her sunglasses. "Take care of my shades. I'm going in."
Vinyl thought carefully about how to go about this. She finally settled on simply walking in, grabbing the Doctors foreleg, and walking out as quickly as possible. She got in alright, but the exit was much slower than desired.
"Aha! If you are not mistaken, you are Miss Vinyl Scratch, I shouldn't wonder?" the Doctor smiled rather broadly. "I'm sorry friends, I'm afraid I must leave you for now!"
There was a groan of disappointment from the patrons.
"I'm sorry, duty calls!" The Doctor smiled. "I'm afraid I have a time stream to save from a gestalt entity made of pure negative intent taking the form of a large angry snake. Mr. Spitshine? How much does my bill come to?"
"Never mind the tab, Doc!" Spitshine said from behind the bar. "Its on the house!"
"Oh, that's quite generous of you, many thanks!" The Doctor said brightly. "Mr. Biceps, I believe this is your Concertina?"
"Bulk Biceps plays the Concertina?" Vinyl asked in bewilderment.
"Keep it!" Bulk said, in a gruff but jolly voice. "You're better at it then I am anyway!"
"If you're sure," The Doctor smiled. "It's been smashing lads. I'll see you again, if I get the opportunity!"
Vinyl hurried him out of the bar to the awaiting Cutie Mark Crusaders. "Doctor!" Apple Bloom said happily. "You're alright!"
"I'm better than alright!" the Doctor shouted. "I'm boisterous! I've never been boisterous before! Listen to my voice... Oh... Oh dear... Not half posh, isn't it? Quite lordly... The kind of voice that would say the word 'boisterous' in place of the word 'loud'. My goodness, I've spent so much time speculating on my personality, I haven't had time to take in the more superficial aspects of my transformation. Girls! How do I look?"
The three fillies considered the Doctor's new appearance.
"Older," Apple Bloom said frankly.
"Shorter," Scootaloo added.
"Ginger!" squeaked Sweetie Belle.
"Yes, ginger," the Doctor looked at his tail in frustration. "I remember ginger. What on earth was I thinking?"
"'Earth?'" Vinyl asked.
"Vacation spot I like!" the Doctor smiled. "As I was asking, you're Vinyl Scratch? I have some questions..."
"I'll start off the Q and A, thank you," Vinyl growled, growing frustrated with the day. "First off, names. Doctor who?"
"Oh let's not start that again," the Doctor sighed. "Simply 'the Doctor,' will do. Well, just 'Doctor' is fine. I suppose the 'The' prefix would only apply if I were to be among other Doctors. Unless of course those Doctors were also me--"
"Second!" Vinyl interrupted, trying to cut through the madness. "How much have you had to drink?"
"Madam," he said, straightening up. "I never indulge... At least I don't think I do. I much prefer my tea..."
"So the ode to Charlie Mopps back there?" Vinyl asked.
"Just because I don't drink does not mean I can't enjoy a good drinking song, dear girl," the Doctor smiled. "I quite like that one actually. Clears my head, helps me think."
"Third," Vinyl said, calming down a little knowing that the crazy old bastard was sober at the very least. "You said that you needed to deal with that snake thing we talked about earlier. You didn't kill it?"
"Oh no!" the Doctor said gleefully. "The Mara is far from dead. Make no mistake Vinyl, we are all still in terrible danger!"
"What?!" the Cutie Mark Crusaders asked in unison.
"That, however, can wait!" the Doctor exclaimed, turning on his heels.
"I don't think it can," Vinyl said loudly.
"Yes it can," the Doctor said, beginning to stride down Ponyville's main road. "Because I need new clothes. But before I get new clothes I have to make sure that I don't have any unfinished business from my last Perso..."
The Doctor trailed off as he looked at the building he was suddenly in front of.
Time Turner's Time Pieces
Get your watch ticking without your wallet getting a kicking!
"Oh," the Doctor said sadly, looking up at the huge structure. "Oh, you aren't fair, aren't you..."
"Who was that?" Octavia said loudly. "Who's talking?"
"As far as I can tell," the cold voice said mockingly. "You're talking to yourself."
Octavia didn't like this. The only other occupant in the room was out cold. But someone was speaking to her. She knew it. She wondered if the day had at last driven her insane, but she knew better. She knew what this was. In defense, she picked up a broom. "I warn you!" Octavia said shakily. "I don't like snakes!"
"Yes," the voice said calmly. "I can feel that. Fear. It's what I needed after that ordeal. And you saw me writhe in agony as that stallion expelled me from his mind... You're confused. Unsure of what's going on. So I ask a question that will cut through all of the fog. What do you want?"
"You out of my bleeding head!" Octavia said immediately.
"Too impermanent," the voice said dismissively. "What did you want before I arrived here? What have you been wanting? Whatever it is, I can give it to you."
"I... I don't want anything from you!" Octavia was starting to waver.
"Be careful," the voice said smugly. "This may be your last chance to get it... And the moment that our friend on the couch begins to stir, I'll have two ponies to make the offer too... His mind is in a daze. I could easily jump back into him again. At that point it won't matter what you want. Not much matters with two hooves wrapped around your throat.
"You're bluffing," Octavia said immediately. "He forced you out. I watched him."
Blue then began to move, and slowly open his eyes.
"Do you really want to test that?" the Mara hissed. "I will ask one more time...
"What do you want?"