Spike touched his forehead. A splitting hangover was pounding him like a hammer.
"Augh… what was I doing last night again?"
Spike only remembered that he was having a rapturous party with Twilight’s new friends and all the town’s ponies after the defeat of Nightmare Moon.
After Twilight successfully pleaded her mentor to let her stay, she also asked for the Elements to be used for her study for a few days before bringing them for safe storage in the Canterlot Tower.
He was charged with bringing the Elements back to the library, before Twilight dealt with all the thankful ponies. However, he was also fed with what felt like moons’ worth of distilled cider on his way home by random passers-by.
What happened afterwards was a moving blur. He could remember the ponies converging on the library. Twilight was doing preparations for her experiment on the Elements in the basement, but she was half-dragged and half-begged out by the party-goers.
Spike pretty much feasted on everything he could lay his hands on, as Twilight tried her best to set up her experiments and attend to her guests at the same time.
The party went on for quite a while. It was wild, fun and made him throw all his worries away. Eventually, as the night drew deeper, the guests left one by one, until almost all were gone.
Then something happened. What exactly happened was a bit hazy, but it involved a lot of eating, gasping and fainting.
"Was it Twilight’s magic mishap again? Bah, Twi messes up all the time, she should stop doing dangerous magic near so many ponies."
"Eh… So now, where am I?"
Spike stood up and looked around himself. "Tsk, looks like my new bedroom. But why is it such a mess?"
Looking out of his little basket crib, he noticed that all the cupboards and drawers in the room had been hastily pulled out. Books and papers scattered on the ground. The whole place looked as if it was ransacked by a mob.
Before Spike could stare in shock, a familiar purple visage entered his sight. It was also familiarly panicky, as he was so used to see throughout his entire life.
"You-!" Twilight galloped towards Spike, and rudely shook the dragon with her hooves, "You must be Twilight! Right? Right?! Please tell me-"
"… Que?" Spike blinked, as he wasn’t sure what he had heard. "Come again?"
"I asked, are you Twilight Sparkle, you know, the student of magic of Princess Celestia? Oh man, I am so going to be sent to the moon for this…"
"What in the hay are you talking about, Twilight? I mean, I am Spike the Dragon! And you, you are clearly the one and only Twilight! Look at your own coat, your purple mane, the six-pointed star on your side?"
"… O- Oh my gosh…! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!!"
Looking at the increasingly unhinged face of the purple mare, Spike coughed. "Seriously, you talk like Twi and panick like Twi, who else could you be?"
"I am you!" The purple mare desperately yelped. "It’s all our fault!"
Spike widened his eyes and his jaw almost dropped to the ground. "W- What the heck? What happened?"
After a pregnant pause, he added. "And where is Twi?"
"I don’t know where she is!" The purple mare was on the verge of crying. "Maybe she is still somewhere… here, because I can still… ‘remember’ what she did and experience how she feels… This must have something to do with the Elements!"
"Calm down, Tw- I mean, me, we can handle this." Spike tried his best to remain calm and comfort her.
"… Do you feel something funny in your tummy?"
"Eh? Why would I?"
Twilight shifted uncomfortably. "I, uh, I mean we, um, kind of did away with the Elements."
"What do you mean by ‘did away with’?"
"I- and by I, I mean Twilight, saw that you were drunkenly licking your tongues… after plucking the gem off her Element of Magic crown."
"Holy Guacamole! I did that?" Spike was flabbergasted. "I did not remember it at all!"
Twilight reached into her saddlebag and took out a bunch of gemless necklaces and crown, to the shock of the dragon. "We were drunk as a skunk. And I’m afraid that with Twilight and her friends’ new intimate ties to the Elements, this would mean…"
She drew in a shaky breath. "I am not the only one."
The remaining color drained from the dragon’s face, and he asked with a shrieking yelp. "Where are the others?!"
"They were all gone by the time this happened, that’s why I… Ugh, Twilight began her experiment in earnest at that time. Thank goodness for that! After I woke up, I tried waking you up as well, but you were too drunk, so I just scrambled around the library to see if there is anything on the Elements that can help us undo this mess."
She looked at the floor crestfallenly. "But no, I found nothing. Even with my newfound magical knowledge, I can think of nothing. We’re doomed, man, we’re doomed!"
Spike first froze for a moment. His expression then suddenly turned incredibly serious and resolute.
He placed a bucket in front of him, grabbed a thick tome from the desk, and forcefully knocked himself right in the middle of his belly with the book.
Twilight looked on with horror as Spike’s eyes bulged and he coughed into the air. Despite the great pain, he did not yell out, but he did stumble and hiss in disappointment when he looked into the bucket.
"What the hay are you doing?!"
"Argh… I… I’m just trying to knock the gems out of my belly. But I fear that by now, they have all been digested completely. Curses!"
Twilight gulped and stood still, too panicked and terrified to say or do anything.
Spike inhaled and exhaled, until his breaths were no longer labored and his pain subsided. "… So you know everything about Twilight now, the other me?"
Twilight squeaked and replied shyly. "Yes."
"We should gather the other Element-bearers and check up on them first. Meanwhile, you should act as if you are Twi in order not to rouse any suspicion."
"Why- What- How?" Twilight gasped. "But I am you, Spike, not Twilight!"
"Sorry me, we’re on the same boat now." Spike said with a poker face. "Either we keep this up until this is sorted out. Or it is to the moon with me, and to the mad house you go."
"A- Alright…" Twilight lowered her head and muttered.
"Now you’re Twilight. Get into character, Twilight. You will have to do so in front of other ponies. Try call me Spike or number one assistant or whatever, then order me around like the bossy mare that she is."
"Spike!" The purple mare retorted reflexively, as if her muscle memories carried her on. "W- Who exactly are you calling bossy?"
Astonished, Spike then squeezed out a weak grin. "....Hey, warming up to the act already?"
"No no no! I- I don't- I mean," Her face was white with fear and confusion, then she realized. "That's right! Her feelings and mannerisms must've been mixing up with mine, somehow!"
"Don't think that's a big problem right now." The dragon shrugged. "It means you can act more naturally."
"Really? I don't think..."
Spike, however, simply looked intently at Twilight without a word, while pacing back and forth in the room.
"W- What now?" The purple mare squeamishly asked.
"Remember? You’re Twilight, you have to call the shots… Or at least pretend to, when we’re at the outside!" Spike slapped his knees and pointed to her. "You need to get used to it. Let's start by giving me an order."
"Wait, what?"
"Just do it, for Celestia's sake!"
"Okay… S- Spike!" Twilight gulped and began. "Come on, let’s go and find our friends!"
She paused for a bit. "… Um, who are we going to find first?"
"Calm down, Twilight. Use your ‘rational logic’ and that smart brain of yours, eh?"
The purple mare deeply breathed and uttered slowly. "… We got to find the one who’s nearest to us first. It's the optimal strategy to contain each of the possible disturbances within a reasonable timeframe..."
"Now that's a good idea." Spike nodded. "I don't know what you're on about afterwards, but yeah, let's do just that."
Twilight nodded with a gulp. "Y- Yeah. We should look for Pinkie, since the Sugarcube Corner is nearby. Then we’ll find Rarity, then Fluttershy, then Applejack. We’re likely to run into Rainbow Dash if she is out for duty in Ponyville today… Not sure about that though."
***
"Twilight."
Spike asked as he walked beside the gingerly-looking Twilight. "So... How does it feel like to be a pony?"
"Eh?"
"I mean," Spike lowered his voice further. "You were me, right?"
"Yeah. I- I think?"
"So you should have a very good idea of what is different between being a dragon and being a pony."
Twilight's face went blank for a moment, and then she made a grimace.
"It is weird to be honest. I am still getting used to walking on four. I am now much bigger, my center of balance is completely different, not to mention I now have a head of mane and I am covered with furs. Although a small part of me treated this as completely normal, the other parts of me are finding these all very weird."
Her cheeks slowly reddened. "Way too weird for my taste. I should be a macho and brave dragon, but now I am a- a-."
Her words quieted down to the level of a buzzing mosquito. "A girl…"
Spike gulped audibly. The level of awkwardness suddenly soared to sky high in just a few sentences. He never thought of the gender aspect of this shambolic wreck. He shuddered to think of himself to be the one who was suddenly trapped as not only a member of another species, but also the opposite sex.
He decided to just say anything to switch the topic. "So uh… What does Twilight think of me then?"
Twilight almost stopped right at her track. She looked at Spike sharply and slowly began, "… She loves you, above all things."
It was a succinct response, but it both tugged and cut at Spike’s heart. He both delighted at the confirmation of his place in Twilight’s heart, but he also feared that his mistake would deprive him of the real Twilight.
They then walked together in silence until they reached Sugarcube Corner. The morning was young, and the bakery was just open for business.
They entered the cupcake-shaped house, and were greeted by a worried Mrs. Cake.
"Oh, are you the new friends of Pinkie? I’m very sorry, but Pinkie is unwell today…"
Twilight and Spike looked at each other, and Spike spoke up, "Good morning, uh, Mrs. Cake. So what’s wrong with Pinkie? Maybe we can help her."
"She’s been acting funny the whole morning. I think she got herself a few pieces of gems, and she baked a cake with them. Then she somehow got the grand idea of trying to eat it. She had almost choked herself! We rushed to help her, and she’s now resting in her room."
The duo almost planted their face in their respective palm and hoof at the same time. Wincing with one eye open, Twilight immediately said, "Mrs. Cake, I may have an idea why Pinkie is acting weird. It might be magic-related. Please, just let us go up and check up on her."
"Thank you, do check up on her, of course!" Mrs. Cake smiled with a relieved look, "I’m glad that Pinkie’s got such good friends."
The two nodded back at Mrs. Cake with tenuous smiles, and then ran up the stairs like a whirlwind.
Once they reached the second floor, they were immediately greeted with a bizarre scene. A clearly deranged-looking pink mare flung and bounced around in a messy room covered in confetti and silly strings. Strange contraptions scattered on the floor, making off-key accompaniment to the nonsense songs that the unhinged pony kept on spewing.
"Goodness me." Twilight widened her eyes. "And I thought I was the conflicted one."
"This one is going to be a tough nut to crack." Spike gritted his teeth. "But heck, let's go and be done with this."
With a nimble slide on a misshapen piece of confetti, he bent under a stray silly string and dashed within the earshot of the pink pony. He then slipped up in a to the side of Pinkie’s ear. With a determined expression, he whispered.
"… Hey, are you Spike too?"
The pink mare jumped up and then froze mid-air literally for a few gravity-defying seconds. Then she unceremoniously fell onto the floor in shock.
"Y- You know?"
"Yeah, I know. Twilight also knows because she’s actually also... um, how to put it... ‘Spiked’."
The purple mare rolled her eyes upwards, and the dragon continued with a sigh. "Most importantly, no sane pony, however out of her mind, would attempt to consume gem, including Pinkie Pie."
"Hey! I resemble that remark!"
"It should be ‘resent’, Pinkie." Twilight corrected.
"Get it together already!" Spike cupped his forehead and broke up the conversation. "We have to find the others and undo this mess."
"Yepperoni! I get to see more of me! Spikes of the world, unite!"
Twilight grimaced. "… I don’t think this, uh, Pinkie-Spike is mentally stable enough."
"We have to make do." Spike scratched his nose. "I’ll go tell Mrs. Cake that we’re bringing Pinkie away to... treat her, yeah. You bring her downstairs and out of this house stat."
Twilight pouted, for a moment unwilling to just follow his imperious order. Even though she too realized the gravity of the situation, something within her was oddly uncomfortable with being pushed and bossed around, but she could not put her hooves as to why.
Spike, though, was getting impatient. "What are you waiting for? Go get her! We don’t have much time left. If the princesses decide to check up on us and the Elements before we can make up a cover story together, we’re all in deep trouble, deeper than depths of Tartarus! Move, move, move!"
"O- Okay-" She nodded hurriedly, deciding to push down her vague feeling of objection for the moment.
She then pulled at Pinkie as Spike rapidly ran down the stairs. "Pinkie, for the love of Celestia, stay calm and stay sane outside, okay? We cannot afford to have any other ponies discovering this!"
Pinkie let out a giggle, and then solemnly saluted. "Lieutenant Spinkie shall follow your orders, General Twilight Spike-kle!"
Twilight let out a long sigh. This was going to be a long day.
***
"Next up… Oh my stars, it’s Rarity." Twilight facehoofed again.
"Heheh, what’s wrong about Rarity?" Pinkie widely grinned. "Now she’s definitely yours… and us! Not figuratively, but literally! She’s the captive of our collective love – forever!"
"Yikes! Don’t phrase it like that! She- I- now that- I can't seriously-"
Spike stuttered for a good few seconds, before groaning aloud. "I mean, no, just no! If you're me as well, then stop sounding totally depraved! "
"Aw…" Pinkie deflated. "Actually… I have calmed down a few moments ago. I just want to cheer you up with some silliness… because I'm afraid we’re all having a tough time ahead."
Pinkie lowered her head and sulked. Twilight then gave Spike a wordless frown.
"I am sorry, I didn’t mean it... I'm just frustrated at the whole situation, y'know, uh, Pinkie?"
Spike tentatively offered, but he was still not entirely sure if it was appropriate to address the mares by their names. According to his observation, the alternate ‘Spikes’ seemed to be heavily affected by the personalities, memories and quirks of the mares themselves. But it was still weird to call them by their name because they were apparently not really them. He felt as if he was living within a Sphinx's riddle, and his brain was almost melting.
Fortunate for him, Pinkie immediately beamed. "Thank you, Spike! I am relieved to see that I didn’t go too overboard in the eyes of the Ur-Spike."
‘I’ve got another name now?’ Spike thought to himself. When he raised his head again, the Carousal Boutique was already in front of them.
But before they could approach the door, a horrific shriek pierced the peaceful morning air.
Somepony, who was almost completely wrapped in different fabrics, bolted out of the door like a slingshot. To untrained eyes, the pony looked like a mummy who have busted through a paint factory.
However, to the trained eyes of the three, the galloping pony was exactly the one they were looking for.
"Freeze, Fashion Fiasco!" Pinkie shouted.
However, Rarity continued charging towards them in full-on panic.
Twilight gasped, and immediately readied her magic. A purple aura enveloped the spooked unicorn, slowing down her movement briefly. But to the shock of the three, Rarity lit her own horn, and let out a desperate cry. In a burst of magic, she shook free and ran away like an injured animal.
In a split second, Spike jumped forward and caught the white mare by her legs. Rarity again shrieked. However, the dragon immediately yelled, "Calm down! We’re here to save you!"
Amazingly, the panicking unicorn did stop struggling. She then collapsed on the ground and quietly sobbed.
"What’s wrong?" Twilight frowned.
"Don’t worry, we’re here to help you!" Pinkie then struck a wry smile. "We’re all on the same boat now. Or, rather, are the same boat."
"E- Eh? You two too?" Rarity raised both her brows.
Spike let out a long sigh. Although the mare in front of him looked exactly like Rarity, he could not feel even a slight bit of his usual infatuation or attraction in light of what transpired. "Yup. We all have a Spike-tastic problem here. So, Rarity, what exactly happened?"
"I- I woke up in the boutique this morning. I was momentarily excited to be so close to my beloved Rarity. I… um…" Rarity’s face quickly reddened as she stuttered. "K- Kinda spent half the morning looking at myself in the mirror, almost forgetting to cook for Sweetie Belle."
Her ears drooped as her voice lowered. "But then I remembered from her memories, she is supposed to finish three dresses by the end of today! I then rushed to the sewing machine, but I totally screwed up, making a mess of the dresses! I also suddenly realized that with me here, Rarity is, like, g- gone! Like, for good! I then freaked out and ran out of the boutique… Then I met you guys."
Spike grimaced. "Don’t worry, we’re gathering all the Element-bearers to see if we can fix this mess."
"B- But my dresses…" Rarity fidgeted.
"Forget the dress for now! We have a far bigger potato to grill." Spike pushed at the white mare. "Now follow us before the princesses come. If we cannot fix this in time, we must find a way to cover that this happened at all."
Looking at the frazzled mare, he sighed. "By the way, clean yourself from this mess first."
***
"So this is caused by you… me… Grr! Spike eating the gems on the Elements by mistake?" Rarity asked.
"This is our best guess." Twilight said with a sigh.
"Yep. So to conclude, aside from having to fix this eventually, we also have to replace the gems on the Elements with some counterfeits for the moment."
Spike shook his head. "Anyway, Rarity, surely you do have some gems lying around-"
Spike’s words were interrupted by somepony abruptly plummeting from the sky, forming a small crater right in front of them. Although it only flashed briefly in front of their eyes, the cyan and rainbow color could not be mistaken.
"Rainbow Dash, are you alright?!" The dragon gasped, as the dust cleared off to reveal the cyan mare lying flat on the ground.
"Awww…" The cyan mare stood up and patted her plots. "Thank Celestia this is morning mud covered in dew. Darn, how does one fly with these things anyway?"
She raised her head, saw Spike, and then immediately grabbed Spike with her front legs. "Oh my gosh! Thank goodness, I was looking for you everywhere! What should I do?! What should we do?! Oh dear, you won’t believe I-"
Spike rolled his eyes up. "Yes, yes, I believe, we all believe. 'cos we all know."
"Huh?" The cyan mare merely blinked in confusion.
"And as to what to do... I'd love to know for sure." Spike sighed. "Before you ask, all the ponies here are in the same rabbit hole as you. Trying to fix this before anypony else notice."
"Really?!" Rainbow Dash again gasped. "So you’re telling me that all five of us here are Sp-"
"Shhh!" Spike hurriedly shushed her. "Don’t say it out loud here! I've gone and destroyed the Elements. The frickin' Elements! No one except us can know this!"
Rainbow Dash immediately covered her mouth. "S- Sorry."
"Now we go find Fluttershy and Applejack. Then we’ll have an emergency meeting in the Golden Oak Library. Let’s pray to the Elements in my belly that we fix this or at least cover it up, before any of the Princesses notice."
"Right..." Rainbow Dash gulped as she climbed up and joined the ragtag group.
They walked in an uneasy silence towards Fluttershy’s cottage. When they arrived, they were greeted by a scene even more bizarre than what happened at the boutique.
An army of bunnies, led by Fluttershy’s most beloved rabbit Angel, were using a bunch of bundled red carrots as a makeshift battering ram. They were obviously trying to ram open the front door of the cottage, but to no avail. The door and windows seemed to be boarded from the inside.
The mares and Spike rushed to the front, to the initial alarm of the bunnies.
Angel hissed at the intruders, before Pinkie stood out and loudly announced, "Fret not, my leporine friends! We come in peace! And we’re here to rescue the princess out of this treacherous and impenetrable castle!"
Spike rolled his eyes, and added, "Yeah, what she said. We know what had spooked… uh… ‘Fluttershy’ into hiding. So let us cooperate and get her out of the house. I swear, we mean her no harm and we only want to help her."
Angel narrowed his eye. His expression then turned frustrated, as he pointed towards the 'ram' with a rocking motion.
"So you're saying the ram is no use." Twilight observed and surmised tentatively, which earned an approving nod from the bunny.
"How about we just yell really loud into the house?" Rainbow Dash casually suggested. "Surely if she heard it's Spike, she'd open up."
"No, no no." Spike waved his claws. "We are trying to make as little ruckus as possible, not more!"
"Oh, oh, then why don’t we let Twilight and maybe Rarity try magicking the door open?" Pinkie cheerily said.
"Yeah," Rainbow Dash conceded. "That sounds cleverer."
"Good thinking!" Spike nodded. "Twilight, Rarity, then please."
The purple and white unicorns looked at one another with some apprehension, and then turned to the door and lit their horns. To their delight, with the raw power of Twilight’s magic and Rarity’s help, the door was immediately yanked open like a film of papier-mâché.
Then they immediately saw a yellow pegasus shuddering at one of the corners in the cottage. Noticing the opened door, her pupils shrank to a pin and she let out a frightful yelp.
"Fluttershy!" Spike raised his voice. "Don’t panic! We’re here to help you!"
"Eep!"
Twilight looked at the bunnies behind her. She decided she needed to mince words a little bit. "We four are having the same condition as you."
"Eh?"
"Twilight is right." Spike intentionally drew out the name of the purple mare. "We are trying to fix this. Join us and find Applejack, and then we can discuss how to fix all these."
Fluttershy gulped, but she remained on the floor with a slight tremor.
"Fluttershy." Spike closed his eyes. "Who in the world can you now put your trust in other than us… and me?"
Like a magical keyword, the ears on the yellow pegasus stood up. Fluttershy then hesitantly nodded. "O- Okay… Are you all m-"
"Yes." The dragon and the mares almost made the 'shh' gesture at the same time.
"We don’t get all day, Fluttershy." Spike lowered his head and whispered to the yellow mare. "The princesses will want the Elements back at the earliest by tomorrow. We better sort this out quickly…"
"E- Eh? What does this have to do with the Elements?" Fluttershy looked at Spike with a confused look.
Spike closed his eyes and sighed. He gestured the yellow mare to come out to listen to his explanation.
Fluttershy mindlessly walked away with the dragon, until Angel grabbed at her tail with concern in his eyes.
"Um… Angel, I may have to go out for a while." Fluttershy looked back, her gaze was uncertain but gentle. "Be a good boy and attend to the animals when I’m gone, okay?"
***
Spike was feeling a bit of a déjà vu. At least only one pony was left to deal with.
However, he was also feeling more and more concerned. Would there be an easy solution to fix this, or even any solution at all?
The whole ordeal felt unreal. Were they really… mental copies of him? What exactly were these extra ‘Spikes’ anyway? Where did they come from? How? And why? He did not quite manage to ask those questions in depth when he interacted with them. Maybe he could do so later in the library after they grabbed Applejack.
If not for the fact that these mares quite literally just met and had not a single reasonable intent to prank him, he could never believe that this had happened in a thousand years.
His gaze swept across the mares. Twilight was lowering her head like she was being scolded by Celestia. Pinkie was trying desperately to maintain an unconvincing smile, but only managed to put up a rather unnerving one. Rarity was somehow looking both high-strung and flustered, no doubt still caught up in the confusion of literally becoming his crush. Rainbow Dash was looking calm, but she was also chronically distracted. Fluttershy was looking even shier than the real deal, as if that was even possible.
Not exactly the A-team to solve the current problem.
He punched the palm of his other claw again and again restlessly. While he did worry about the mares’ reactions if they were returned to normal, righting the wrong definitely trumped his emotional concern of being blamed or scolded.
As his mind wandered, he barely realized that they had already arrived at the Sweet Apple Acres.
They strode in, and quickly they found an orange mare bucking an apple tree casually. Red fragrant apples rained down from the tree, and Applejack cheerfully took a bite at one of them. "Mighty good!"
Spike slightly frowned. This didn’t look right. Applejack looked… Applejack, for a lack of a better word.
Not that he minded if he had one less mare to worry about or fix, but if Applejack alone was spared the effect, then the likelihood that this was caused by the effects of him gouging down the Elements would decrease by a lot.
Still, he went forth and hailed. "Hello Applejack."
Applejack raised her head and smiled. "Howdy! Look what we’ve got ‘ere. Ah was goin’ to look fer y’all after finishin’ mah work. But the apples fell into mah hooves by ‘emselves!"
"So, um…"
"Yeah, yeah." Applejack carefully observed the mares who all looked out-of-whack. She shook her head. "So it’s not jus’ me. Shucks."
"Wait, you’re…"
"Yes, Ah’m you too, as it seems." Applejack shrugged. "Weird, yeah. Bothersome, sure. But works are works, and it got to be done before Ah go find you."
"I… see…" Spike gulped. At least AJ-Spike looked somewhat more adjusted than all the others. She even kept the accent. Just minus the sense of what was objectively more important. "So, are you done yet?"
"Sure sugarcube, that was the last bucket to fill. You want me to join you, right? Let me put ‘em apples away and Ah’ll come in a jiffy."