"I know you're here somewhere!" Sarge yelled after destroying his dozenth boulder. "Why don't you want to come out and play a rousing game of capture my flag while I yell at you?"
The only reply given to Sarge was the blowing of the wind.
"Fine, I see how it is!" Sarge said sadly, stumbling towards the hill that rested between both bases. Noticing a rock on the hill, he smiled brightly and jumped behind it. "I guess I will just sleep here and totally slack off like Grif! Hopefully they won't attack our base during that time!
"This is getting depressing." Church muttered as Sarge looked over the rock at the Blue base.
"I'll say. Even I'm feeling sad for him." Discord coughed discreetly. "How about I speed up the process a tad?"
"That would be great." Church said as Sarge's lip began quivering slightly, making Church feel very, very uncomfortable.
With the clap of his hands, one of the clouds opened up and Simmons fell out, slamming into the ground.
"That's speeding up the process?" Rarity asked, appalled as she watched Simmons roll around on the ground, groaning in pain. "By my mane, if you so much as harm Simmons or any of the other gentlecolts again, I will-"
"You will what? Whine? Complain? I'm afraid that won't have much of an effect on me." Discord chuckled.
"Bwuh..." Simmons groaned as he sat up, eyes clamped shut.
The sound of a branch snapping made Simmons open his eyes. He then opened them further when he realized he wasn't in another one of the white halls.
"Simmons!" Sarge hissed, popping up from behind one of the few remaining rocks in the canyon. "Get over here!"
"Sarge?" Simmons sputtered in confusion as he looked around. "Are we where I think we are?"
"Damn right, soldier! Now get your ass in gear, the Blues are bound to attack at any moment!"
"Wait, really?" Simmons asked as he galloped to where Sarge was without hesitating. "I thought we were past all that stuff..."
"So did I, but these Blue devils are still after our flag." Sarge muttered in frustration as he crawled to the ground and peaked around the rock. "They even had the cajonelles to steal one of our rocks!"
"I think you mean cajones, sir." Simmons said quietly, then did a small double-take. "Wait, did you say ro-"
"You're right! Now quiet down so we can wait to ambush these idiots when they finally show themselves! You look out from your side and watch our base."
"Sir, yes, sir!" Simmons nodded, peeking out from his side of the rock.
"They thought they could hide from us!" Sarge chuckled darkly.
"Uh, are you alright, sir?" Simmons asked nervously, turning to look at Sarge. Now that he was this close, he could see that Sarge's mane was slightly more unkempt and his eyes were bloodshot.
"Never better, Simmons!" Sarge said loudly, eyes snapping on Simmons. "Why aren't you looking out from your side?"
"Sorry, sir." Simmons yelped, twisting his head to keep his eyes glued on the base. "Wait, did you say the Blues are hiding?"
"Of course they are. They're cowards!"
"I see. Was this before or after they took our flag?"
"And our rock!"
"Right, and our rock..." Simmons groaned, knowing Sarge's sanity had finally drained.
"Well, it was both before and after!"
"If they were hiding then how did they get our flag?" Simmons inquired slowly, then Sarge looked at him furiously so he sighed. "And our rock?"
"They used their Blue voodoo magic to possess me into bringing our stuff to them! I tell you, they're getting dirtier and craftier every minute!"
"Alright. That's enough proof for me." Simmons muttered as he got up from behind the rock and started making his way to the opposing base.
"Simmons, what are you doing? You're going to blow my well-crafted and carefully thought out cover!" Sarge yelped as he jumped out from behind his rock to run after Simmons.
"Sir, with all due respect, you've gone bat-shit insane."
"Insane? Or am I finally in sane?"
"The first one."
"Oh really?" Sarge asked, slowing his pace to watch where he was walking. "That sounds like the sort of thing a Blue would say."
"Sir?" Simmons asked, turning his head to look at Sarge.
Sarge let out a war-cry as he jumped in the air to tackle Simmons to the ground. Instantly, Simmons' horn flared into action and Sarge froze in midair, surrounded by a maroon glow.
"I knew you were a traitor!" Sarge yelled, twitching to break free. "You treason-loving turncoat! You Benedict Arnold impersonating backstabber!"
"Sir, mind if I ask you something?" Simmons inquired as he floated Sarge over to him.
"I'll never tell you anything! I always knew you'd go back to the Blues after that one time..."
"Right." Simmons sighed as he looked around the canyon for a few seconds, before smiling and walking ahead.
"What are you smiling about?" Sarge asked hesitantly.
"I'm going to put you somewhere safe before you break yourself." Simmons grunted as he approached the cave.
Sarge opened his mouth to complain, but Simmons quickly threw Sarge into the cavern and released him. As Sarge stumbled to get up, he glanced upwards to see several purple cylindrical lights floating around Simmons. Remembering what it was, Sarge darted towards him, but Simmons shot the rocket shaped onto the top of the cavern entrance. As each rocket hit the cave, they exploded, causing the entrance of the cave to fall in on itself.
"I'm going to get out of here!" Sarge said as he began digging at the rocks. "Look around! Can you see what I did to those rocks out there? I did that without stopping, what makes you think this will slow me down?"
"Because if you kick that out, you'll risk bringing the entire cave down on you." Simmons sighed as he began walking away. "I'll be back soon once I find proof that there the Blues aren't here."
"Where did I go wrong with you, huh? We used to be pals! Buddies!" Sarge groaned.
"We... were?" Simmons asked, pausing.
"Yeah, remember that time that we used to yell at the Blues?"
"I do remember that." Simmons nodded. "That was pretty fun, sir."
"Pretty fun, Simmons? Pretty fun? It was much more than that." Sarge laughed. "It was a bonding experience!"
"Right." Simmons muttered quietly, realizing that the Sarge he was talking to was no longer the Sarge he knew, so he continued his walk to the Blues base. "I'll be back to get you out soon."
"Simmons? Simmons, get back here!" Sarge commanded, but Simmons paid no heed.
"Hello?" Simmons asked as he walked into the Blue base. "If I say nobody is here, would I be right?
Simmons fell silent, both awaiting an answer to his rhetorical question, and when he saw that the rock that was inside the Blue base was quite large. Shaking his head, Simmons walked up to one of the computers in the Blue base and tapped on it with his hoof. It was off. He then pressed the power button, and to his surprise, the screen turned on.
"Hello, Simmons!" Discord greeted from the throne room.
"Uh, hi." Simmons said quietly, surprised to see Discord smiling at him. "Listen, I have a little situation up here."
"Oh, yes, we see that quite well from here." Discord nodded sweetly. "He's going off the deep-end, and I am finding it quite funny."
"Yeah, I'm not." Simmons muttered when he saw the girls, along with the two blues that stayed back, behind him. "Where are Tucker and Tex?"
"Not interested in Grif?"
"I just want to know where the other Blues are so I can tell Sarge none of them are here."
"That's all you want to know?" Discord asked playfully, trying to toy with Simmons.
"Yup." Simmons nodded.
"Are you sure? I know quite a few answers to many of life's-"
"I'm sure. Please just tell me if they're here or not." Simmons said, shaking his head once when Discord smiled. "And I know they're in the maze, what I mean is are they in this room?"
"You're no fun..." Discord grunted, scratching his beard. "But no, they aren't, but I could-"
"Thanks, that's all I needed to know." Simmons muttered as he shut the screen off.
"Rude." Discord huffed.
Simmons then turned around and started to walk out of the base to go tell Sarge.
"Hello, Simmons." Sarge grunted, his mane and body covered with bits of rocks as Simmons walked out of the base.
"Sarge?" Simmons asked quietly. "How did you get out without crushing your-"
"There's more than one exit." Sarge said quietly, walking towards him. "Blue."
"Son of a bitch."
1513283 I guess grif is the one thing keeping sarge sane
Well it seems Sarge has fallen off of the deep end for sure.
Yeeyup Sarge has finally lost his buckshots
And he's officially in the deep end.
Fight!
Oh god! Sarge has fucking lost his mind! IT'S SO AWESOME!!
Lol, You can't stop the Sarge man. Simmons, you dead bro.
1513325
Yeah, I published it before gazing it over for the obvious errors. Fix'd.
well...simmons is in quite a pickle now
Well Simmons is screwed and Sarge has gone bonkers.
Simmons is about to get Sarge'd and it isn't going to be pretty
So. Many. Chapters.
Best fanfic ever, of all time
1513350
HA!!!
nothing wrong with sarge
he did not say ''dirty'' blue making him sane, if he was in the rite mint and being serous he would not say just blue
its always ''dirty'' hehehe
Well... AJ wouldn't be proud of sarge.
And didn't Simmons did change to blue once already?
Simmons, you're about to get Sarg'd. Better start moving those bionic legs of yours!
Someone give him a shotgun or something! Oh and a Grif Dummy to get him sane again!
is this the final arc?
Simmons' mind: FUCK!
1513323 WELCOME TO SPACE MEXICO!!!
1513616
Indeed it is.
That traitor simmons! Don't listen to him Sarge! He's working against the red team!
Neither your mortal or immortal it all makes the same end. the verge of insanity
Goddamn you and your beautifully placed cliffhangers.
simmons is fucked sarge is going to kill him
1513469 yes he did in season 4
he spray painted himself blue.
(I think it was spray paint )
I WAS LAUGHING MY ASS OFF
1515607
Here lies Simmons
He kissed ass, and died a virgin
Tucker needs this badly.
When I saw the chapter title I thought of Sister...
DANGER: SARGE HAS GONE BEOND SECTION 8
This is an interesting turn of events. Grif saves Tex, Tucker actually has heart and cares enough about someone to know every little detail about her, the one person who hates the blues as much Grif has lost his mind and is lost without them, poor Sarge, and to top it off Simmons took charge and stood up to Sarge ( GASP) So yeah look at what a crazy god of chaos and a magical land of ponies can do to reds and blues.
Also Tex saying sorry and Church's stress level decreased for once finally having some peace and quiet except when the problems pop up.
Caboose has a girlfriend who loves him EXACTLY the way he is and he can talk telepathically with crocodile who is a geneous.
And to top it off O'mally hasen't burned and or killed any one yet. What a world or memory if you want to be up tight about the facts.
1523692 QUICK! LOCK HIM IN A HIGH SECURITY PRISION AND ALYSYLM!