You killed yourself to stop the pain. It followed you after death, but you have help finding your catharsis.
This is a vent piece I wrote originally intended to be a kind of suicide note. It also functioned as a way to sooth myself that if I died that night that I wouldn't be trapped in hell for all eternity, or that I wouldn't be turned away from Equestria because I couldn't survive this hell world.
I don't honestly know what I'll do, but I wanted to publish this anyways. I hope this story helps someone.