- Member Since 26th Feb, 2012
- offline last seen 3 hours ago
abrony-mouse
Occasional FimFic contributor. Also short reviews on request. Blog for silliness, music, writing. STATUS 2024.05.22. Snow on snow.
abrony-mouse
Joined 26th Feb, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Lighttone GryphonStar · 2.4k words · 7 18 · 385 views
- Lighttone GryphonStar · 3.7k words · 10 4 · 128 views
- Shirlendra · 1k words · 10 0 · 94 views
- SparklingTwilight · 4.9k words · 79 views
- Burningbloom78 · 16k words · 12 0 · 349 views
- Darkryt Orbinautz · 63k words · 21 5 · 591 views
- Twidashlover123 · 37k words · 13 0 · 357 views
- Burningbloom78 · 45k words · 13 0 · 575 views
Featured In9
Clopfics11,581 stories ·15,834 members
Transformations5,262 stories ·5,809 members
Tragedy And Darkness651 stories ·320 members
Tragedy1,235 stories ·902 members
Everything Dark and Grim1,803 stories ·936 members
- Gender Transformation637 stories ·615 members
TF/TG817 stories ·2,251 members
The Official Generation Five Site1,978 stories ·690 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.201 seconds
Total duration
983 users online
330,285 hits today, 2,064,738 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Wrong dyed.
Whoa.
11900288
thanks! edited out now
genuinely didn't know that about woah! Have added a thank you, and note in my blog HERE. I will be checking you out pony! Got a great range of stories there!
Whoa and woah are often confused, but whoa is the correct spelling. It is used as an interjection to express alarm or surprise, or to attract attention. “Woah” is a spelling variant that's considered wrong by most language authorities
11900290
No problem.
It's a bit like the difference between Cadence and Cadance. The latter of which is objectively the wrong spelling - and i will die on this hill!
Very well written - love your sense of perspective. Also love your icon , darling :)
For as well written as your story is, I think you're doing yourself a slight discredit with the sheer volume of warnings given, though. There are warnings plastered all over your story, its description, the authors notes, the chapter titles...
Put rather bluntly, I don't think this is anywhere near the most extreme thing I've read on this website - and certainly not worthy of such magnitude of warning. Sure, it's certainly sensative, but I think you could stick to just one of these warnings. I'd honestly remove the chapter title stuff and part in your desc. detailing what exact chapter has sensative content - keep the authors note in the chapter itself if you must, but here's the thing.
People click on this story and read its description, and see the tags and rating, they know what they're getting into. I personally feel like you're doing yourself a disservice - and causing some potential readers to shy away - by over-exagerrating to a degree what happens in this story.
I had a Cozy Glow fic that I published as M with lots of rating warnings - not because it was a clopfic snuff thing, but beceause it did imply a very graphic death. However, this caused a lot of people to not read it. Once I re-analyzed the story and changed it to Teen it got a lot more attention. Obviously this story could never be a Teen story, but my point stands. There can be such a thing as too much warning.
I dont want to come off like I'm ripping on you. I took the time to write out these thoughts because I think this story is good, and I want it to succeed and reach the widest audience possible, so I wanted to share my experience with over-warning!
11900436
thanks! glad you liked the writing :) and yep, was pleased with the way the icon came out
and that's good to know about the meta - warnings and such. I will try lowering it a bit - leaving the trigger in the chap instead of putting people off initially.
will add this to the blog in a sec when I have a mo and edit the meta stuff then too
11900303
Well hello there, PresentPerfect; I didn't know you had this account as well!
Though I'm a "Cadance" man, I'm firmly on your side when it comes to "whoa" -- but I strongly suspect we're going to lose that one in the end. English doesn't have much truck with prescriptivism, after all. My own hill to die on -- that "disinterested" does not mean "uninterested" -- is a case in point. I remember feeling rather gut-punched when I discovered that the meanings of the two words were originally reversed!
11900436
thanks again :) have edited things now, and added a reference in the blog
also your compliment was absolutely darling, darling! :P
11900460
a disguised presentperfect! I wonder why that would be :P
apparently linguistic authorities agree on whoa. Probably because it's linked to "what" a bit. Rather than, as I thought, "wow"?
gotta admit I'm Cadance as well. Haven't a clue why!
disinterested/uninterested is an interesting distinction. Wilful disregard vs mere disregard. It's a shame the duckspeak has robbed us of that distinction :(
11900559
For the avoidance of any doubt, I wasn't being serious! It was a joke based on the fact that PP is one of the best known advocates on this site for "Cadence" over "Cadance".
That's my point, though. They can agree on whatever they like, but it doesn't mean English as it evolves will take a blind bit of notice. There are plenty of words/meanings/constructions we use today without a second thought that would have been considered outright incorrect a few centuries ago.
11900586
aah! I thought you were being serious :P
oh, and I see what you mean about whoa. it's undergoing that kind of evolution, I suppose. The way language, and especially our weird non-committal English one, does :P
I don't get why you'd use a character like Hitch for this story.
I get it's an AU and there's alcohol and stuff, but genuinely there's not a single moment here where he feels in character. You grabbed one of the most nice, kind and respectful characters of the franchise and made him a r*pist, cheater, sexist and tr*ansphobic piece of shit because...what? Shock value? There are other morally questionable characers to use, it doesn't make sense to use Hitch
11900436
Indeed
Take it from me i had my worries before i dived into some Mature fics because i thought some would be straight up well you know
But then i found stories without that that are just Mature due to their Tags
Honestly yeah
hey
I tend to load my characters very heavily :P literally the only reason this is Hitch is the fact that he's an authority figure in Maretime bay and he has a relationship with Sunny (who is, like Twi, a revolutionary authority figure). Also he's a 'good male character' and could be the object of my OC's affections. When I write about the ponies, I tend to break their characters, because when it's me, I take the idea of them being 'my' little ponies very, very far, and I am extra-savage with Gen 5, which I think failed to create a believable world (even though it has many wonderful character beats)
thank you for your genuine and well expressed criticism! I have added it to meh blog
11901601
thanks for the comment! As you agree with Deathtoponies, I will add you to that part of meh blog
11901559
oh and, while this isn't the place, I do dispute the absolute nature of these judgements "r*pist, cheater, sexist and tr*ansphobic piece of shit"
we deeeeefinitely would need to have that discussion off-site though :P
edit ok, a lil'' more context. This comment will be spoilery.
I'm sorry if that feels like a mischaracterization.
That does nothing to diminish Blackie's lie here - to find out that the person you are intimate with has lied about a fundamental aspect of their identity arguably destroys Hitch's consent here. What Blackie did is similar to the conduct of defendants in certain criminal cases https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McNally_v_R
(Blackie takes he/they/her pronouns).
So, I have not head-canoned Hitch to be generally transphobic or a rapist. Actually, he would have generally been an ally to trans ponies, as he is just as protective as he is in the show, in my fic. He has cheated before though, in the world of this fic he's a 'horndog' but, until that night, not with Sunny. It's lazy to make a char a horndog in a mature fic, but hey ho.
You rightly recognise that Hitch being drunk is a huge factor here - he was drinking to subconsciously let himself go with his instinct and forget about his obligations to Sunny in that moment. If he hadn't met Jazz or Blackie, though, he might well not have done that, and have just tantalised himself all night in the club and gone home. The evil decision, here, was to go clubbing when he knew he would be tempted if he did. I agree that the Hitch of the show would not have done that, and certainly wouldn't have done what followed. That is because he is a sweetheart
If he had just rolled with it and not gone beserk, then he would have lost Sunny and been heart-broken anyway. Zipp would have found out about the cheating and would have forced him to confess and Sunny would not have forgiven him, because she would have seen him in a new light. He went beserk not due due to transphobia, but self-hatred - the sudden revelation that he had been lied to by Blackie made him see himself for what he was and made him realise that he had just lost the mare of his dreams
heh, silly head canon. Aaaaanyway, overall I do agree. Except for his gorgeousness and a couple of physical trais, Hitch is very far from the Hitch in the show, here. I have also released this fic on a non-fan tg site. It very much works without any show context at all (although I had to change quite a ponyisms, like 50 references to "mare" for instance :P ). A person looking for a very in character writer will have to look elsewhere, I'm afraid
11901765
Eh im good i was just searching around that day but thanks anyways!
okay, this was kind of fun.
Could there be a sequel in this tone?
11902326
thanks :) glad you liked it!
Blackie's story here is, sadly, complete, so any sequel would be indirect.
Spoilery comment
I knew Blackie would have to pass on from the initial concept for this fic - the fic draws on my own feelings and, for me, there can be no realisation of the fantasy of being loved as a woman in a simple sense. I have read tf/tg fiction for much longer than I have read pony fiction, and the moment the chars achieve their fantasy, I tended to lose interest, for that reason.
You have given me an idea, though, for a possible indirect sequel, which just explores, in a slice of life way, a happy relationship. It'd be a canon relationship like Sunny and Hitch, though, not Blackie. Sunny would, of course, then become a real figure, not the paragon she is here :P nopony wants to read about lil' miss perfect's love life