The Case Gets Weirder...
"So it's decided: we'll do all that we can to help you track down this 'Tennyson' fellow and help you get back to your planet," Twilight declared with a smile.
Monk nodded, and said, "Thank you...Your Highness..." then he stood, bowed awkwardly, and resumed his seat. He then took another opportunity to stare around him. The eight of them (plus a dragon) were seated in a circular room, with thrones set up about a round, white table. The ceiling was high, and the walls were festooned with tapestries depicting sigils and other designs of heraldry, along with motifs of (apparent) heroes and heroines of this world.
As his eyes kept darting to one on the far back wall, Twilight noticed and asked, "Is...there something wrong, Mr. Monk?"
He hesitated, then said, "I...don't know who your great figures are, nor your history but," and here he pointed to the tapestry in question, "...that one is three centimeters higher than the others; is it special?"
Everyone else in the room turned and stared blankly at the hanging, but when Twilight turned and looked at the one he'd indicated, her eyes grew wide. "You're right! I knew something was bothering me about this room today; now I know why!" She immediately flew up to it, pulled the nails out with her magic, carefully adjusted the tapestry, and then repositioned it. "There! That's better!"
The other ponies (and the dragon) just stared at him. "How...did you do that?" asked Rainbow.
Monk shrugged. "It's a gift...and a curse."
Twilight nodded soberly at the detective and sighed as she gazed around at all of her friends. "I know what you mean..." Then, she frowned, looked around, and said, "It still doesn't feel right in here." She looked up and saw the new pony cautiously waving a hoof to get her attention. "Yes, Mr. Monk?"
He cleared his throat and said, "If it helps, this table is one centimeter off from the center of that overhead light," as he pointed, then added, "...the pattern of colors along all the walls is the same except for that one in the corner, where a tiny patch of green has been added..." He walked up to it (which took over thirty seconds to cover the distance), bent down, and pointed at a minuscule dot, "...and all the lights in here are giving off the same amount of illumination except for that one." All turned and looked at the one he pointed out, "...which is two lumens higher than all the rest..."
As they all stared at him, he resumed his seat and said, "...if it helps..."
"That is truly amazing, Mr. Monk!" said Twilight. Then she added, "I wonder WHO could have deliberately done all of these things?" she said while looking pointedly at Fluttershy. "It seems like a chaotic thing to do."
The yellow pegasus blushed and said, "He told me I wouldn't see him for the next few weeks, so I thought that meant he was on vacation..?" she finished meekly.
Rainbow, who was sitting beside her, smiled, patted her on the back, and said, "Flutters? It's a good thing you're cute!"
She ducked her head behind her mane and said, "You...you don't think he...lied to me, do you?"
All rushed to reassure her. "No...No! Well, not...on purpose..." Twilight delicately amended. "He truly sees you as his only friend, so he'd never do anything to hurt that friendship." At the skeptical look she saw from both Dash and Applejack, she made a 'cutting' motion across her throat, then smiled back at Fluttershy before she could see their reaction. "Truly!" Turning her attention back to Monk and Natalie, she beamed at him and said, "Is there anything else we can do for you, Mr. Monk?"
Monk rocked slightly, then looked at Natalie with a pained expression. She read his face, frowned, and quickly shook her head, but the pressure was just too much! Raising a hoof, he said, "There is one question you could answer for me...why are you all...naked?" Natalie closed her eyes, bowed her head, and hid her face behind both her hooves.
"Oh, Mr. Monk..." she groaned.
"It's their culture, Mr. Monk!" growled Natalie. She paced angrily in front of him as they were both back in his room while he sat at the table looking contrite. "I tried explaining your quirks and phobias to them, but I guess I didn't remember them all!"
"She...did ask me..." he offered. "What was I supposed to say?"
"ANYTHING but that!" she countered. "If we were in a town in New England, would you have complained that everyone smelled like fish?! Or if we were on a farm, would you have told the farmer he had too many cows?! NO! Then why on EARTH would you complain to a people who are PONIES that they're all NAKED?! In case you haven't noticed, Mr. Monk, ponies don't usually wear clothing there OR here!" She stopped pacing, took a couple of breaths to calm herself, then said, "Mr. Monk...just...just pretend you're looking at ponies from Earth, okay? You don't see them as being naked, right?"
He took a moment to consider it, then smiled. "You're right! I don't think of horses and ponies as naked! Thank you, Natalie! I...I...oh..."
She stared at him. "What...what's wrong, Mr. Monk?" But he didn't answer, as his eyes were frozen in a rictus stare at something over her shoulder. She turned slowly around, and at the window, there was a set of blue buttocks pressed firmly against the glass, with a distinctive "lighting bolt" mark on each of the cheeks.
As they watched in horror, the butt cheeks squeaked around the window a few times, they heard, "You don't like naked? How's THIS for naked?!" and then flew away to the sounds of uncontrollable laughter. Natalie looked back at him.
"It...seems I have some more work to do."
In a cave DEEP in the Everfree, a lone pony lit an oil lamp and, in the flickering light, rubbed his hooves together in anticipation. Soon, he'd be able to shed this pony form, return to Earth, get the information he needed from that idiot of a scientist, and BEGIN his conquering of the UNIVERSE!
He'd already spent most of the previous day spying on that "defective detective" and his 'girl Friday,' so he knew they'd met with the local people and enlisted their help...not that it mattered! He may not understand every aspect of the device, but he knew how to use it to slip in and out of places unseen and travel back and forth to Earth!
What more could a Master Thief ask for? No...a GRAND Master Thief!
He threw back his head and laughed maniacally, just picturing all the riches that would soon be his for the taking! Stifling his mirth for a moment, he paused to reach into the pocket of his stolen policeman's jacket and took out the device. He smiled as he read the gauges: all was functioning normally, as he understood it, and barring anything unforeseen, he should be able to hop back to Earth within the hour to check on Feynman.
And that was when he heard a growl from deeper inside the cave.
His face blanched as he slowly rose to his hooves. The growl grew to a snarl and then the sound of bounding paws! He screeched like a little girl, turned, and fled pell-mell out of the cave and into the night as fast as his four hooves could carry him! He had only one thought, something his own father had told him long ago: "Never look behind you; something might be gaining on you..." and poured on even more speed! Low-hanging branches whipped against his face as he belted past trees and leaped over bushes...and he didn't stop running until he saw the lights of Ponyville up ahead. Then and only then did he fetch up against a tree and look back.
He was alone.
Once he had a chance to clear his thoughts, he realized he hadn't been pursued past the mouth of the cave; whatever was in there had only wanted him gone. Chuckling to himself, he felt in his pocket for the device...then froze. He checked his other pockets. Then again. He took his coat off and turned it inside out.
The scream woke a good many of Ponyville's citizens from a sound sleep.
The next morning, there was a knock on Monk's door. Natalie got up from the breakfast she'd been having with him and said, "I'll get it!" She trotted to the door and opened it partly, then spoke quietly to someone as Monk watched from his place at the table. His puzzlement grew as he saw her smile, step back, and then throw the door open wide. There, holding a sketch pad, pencil, measuring tape in her magic, and wearing saddlebags with a sigil on them that matched the one on her flank, was the white Unicorn he had been told was named Rarity. Monk stood and bowed his head awkwardly, which made her smile.
"I'm glad to see you do possess some gallantry, Mr. Monk!" she giggled. "Now then! Down to business!" as she then donned a pair of red spectacles and placed them on the end of her nose. He took a step back.
"What...kind of 'business?'"
"Why, preparing you some new outfits, of course! Surely you don't intend to wear the same clothing the entire time you are here, do you?" She looked over her shoulder. "And the same for you, my dear! I have in mind some dresses that will be most fetching!"
Natalie squeed and pranced in place! "Eeeee! I'd love that!" She giggled at her boss. "Doesn't that sound great, Mr. Monk?!"
His face grew thoughtful. "This is the longest I have ever gone in my life without showering...how soon can they be ready?"
Rarity beamed. "Once I take your measurements, I can have your first sets done in about two hours." She lifted the tape higher in her magic and said, "Who wants to go first?"
Both Monk and Natalie flinched, and then she answered for him. "Mr. Monk...has an aversion to being touched...perhaps I should go first?"
"Pish posh!" tutted the white Unicorn, "I needn't touch your friend to measure him! Observe!" From her place near the door, she levitated her tape over to the frozen pony as he stood there with his eyes bugging out, watching as she quickly and professionally wrapped the tape around his neck, then from his fetlock to his shoulder, then across his back. All the while, she was also scribbling on her sketch pad while walking around Natalie.
The blonde asked, "Don't...you need to write down Mr. Monk's readings?" Rarity smiled.
"I may not be able to spot a 'three-centimeter' difference in height from one tapestry to another from across a room, but as far as fashion is concerned, I believe I am Mr. Monk's mental equal!" She tapped the side of her head with her pencil. "His measurements are already stored up here...and now, it is your turn!"
She soon had both of them taken care of and was just about to leave when she stopped and said, "Oh! I nearly forgot!" She opened one of her saddlebags and levitated out a wrapped package. She smiled as she gave it to Mr. Monk. "You are not my first customer who prefers not to have their hooves always touch the ground. Take care; I will see you both in a few hours!" They watched her leave, and then he opened the package.
Inside were several pairs of coverings for his hooves.
"You can't go back to anyplace you normally go!" said Feynman as he kept watch out the back window. "By now, they'll have staked out where you live, talked to everyone you know, and they'll be waiting for you!"
Stottlemeyer scowled as he rounded another curve. "This is ridiculous! I'm the Chief of Police! Who are they, and what do they want from me?!" At the scientist's silence, he glared into the rearview mirror and bellowed, "Answer me!"
After some moments, Feynman quietly said, "It's...not you they're after; it's me and my research." He gazed sadly into the mirror. "You two just got in the way."
"And that's another thing!" Leland shouted as he took a quick look at his comatose lieutenant. "What was that thing they used on Randy?! How do we get him back to normal?!"
Feynman leaned back and sighed. "He'll be alright; his mind has simply been temporarily blanked, and he's extremely susceptible to suggestion. You could tell him anything right now, and he'd believe it, then continue to live as normal."
"Anything?" Stottlemeyer thought hard as they blew through a red light. Finally, he said, "Randy: I know you're a good cop! The next time we're on a case, you're going to give me the smartest, most clever analysis you can think of, just like Monk! You hear me?"
Speaking like a sleepwalker, Randy slowly said, "I'll...be...just...like...Monk..." Then he shook himself, looked around, and said, "Hey! Where are we?! What happened?!" Stottlemeyer smiled.
"This can't possibly go wrong..."
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Mockingbirb · 1.9k words · 124 4 · 1.4k views
- Stagehands · 3k words · 67 1 · 628 views
- Jaded Hearts · 2.5k words · 53 1 · 675 views
- PeacefulKnightofChrist · 11k words · 46 9 · 5.8k views
- chillbook1 · 2.2k words · 75 1 · 756 views
- UnknownError · 4.1k words · 95 1 · 1.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.12 seconds
Total duration
785 users online
1,106,495 hits today, 2,660,641 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This is amazing I can hear it in their voices as I read it.
In a single chapter, Monk's opinion regarding Rarity and Twilight has grown positively exponentially; and while I don't think Monk capable of harboring ill feelings toward anyone he doesn't suspect of being a criminal, Rainbow Dash has ruined any chance of him ever touching on windows again in his life.
Pinkie will be a nightmare for him... unless her impossible party cannon can somehow blast confetti symmetrically.
Hope this will be a decent read, and I expect to see Mr. Monk absolutely destroyed from the fact he has to keep touching the ground with his "hands".
What's Monk doing for water, he only drinks Sierra Springs
Dang, I was late to this. Oh well.
Ok, this guy is definitely a villain straight out of some kids show or something.
Not that this isn't already technically based on a kids show.
Dashie.....
Well, he just latched on to the absolute wrong thing. Hilarity is about to ensue and I'm all here for it. <3
Discord better not. BT
...dangit Rainbow.
...... [Marks
down into a journal titled Famous Last Words
Don't look, Ethellll! It's too late; they done been mooned.
(Why, for the love of all things pony, is there still not a Luna emoji?)
Can't wait to see how horribly that goes wrong.
Leland, you've just opened Pandora's box!
Man this story's such a good time!
11896956
I concur. There's so many opportunities (including in you comment) where it would be great to have.
We need to start a petition, because there are collections of these emoticons out there that include more ponies.
I'm actually serious.
11897550
I AGREE!
I'd never heard of Monk until I saw this fic in my feed. I haven't taken a look yet (I'm watching the first few episodes of Monk first, just to get a feel for how the show will be), but if it's anywhere as well executed as the first half of Episode 1, I'm excited to see where this story goes!
11905830
Monk is a wonderful show. No other show seems to balance comedy and a decent mystery as well as it does.
11906395
It reminds me of Columbo, in a way. Another show I need to watch more of.
11906452
I actually have never seen Columbo, but I've heard great things. I'll check it out sometime, thanks.
11906465
You definitely should. Easily one of the best detective shows of all time. Each episode is pretty much its own movie, but it's worth it.
Rainbow is such a loyal friend.
Poor, poor Monk...