Scientific Method

by ruinology

there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out

Rainbow Dash was sure of three things at this moment:

1. She was committing a felony for flying past the recommended flight limit
2. Spike was wrong.
3. She was not in love with Twilight Sparkle

The first one was not that bad. Kind of. She had been flying past the speed limit for years, and no one has reprimanded or caught her. If she was to get caught, she already has a defense to say, no problem. She'd probably get out of court fast, just as how she always do things.

"Your honor," she'd start, standing in the podium, "in my defense, I was proving a point."

"By flying away?" The judge would ask, because they were noisy like that. They'd probably have purple scales and green eyes too.

"Hell yeah, what better way to prove yourself by avoiding them?"

And the judge would whack the hammer— 'cause what else do they do anyways— declare her a criminal with a charge of being an absolute clown, her friends laughing at the sidelines and Twilight would be there to call her cringe, all while Spike stood besides her, saying 'I-told-you' so like the absolute menace the brat was.

...maybe she should think her defense through on second thought.

Okay, maybe she overreacted. Maybe she was being too defensive and a little too in denial, but whatever! She didn't ask to be psychoanalyzed by the dragon. You love the sky— blah blah blah. That doesn't even make sense, in the first place. What he said was meaningless and lies and absolutely cannot be proved. Besides, what he did was just plain rude and wrong, she doesn't want to be analyzed— that was rude— she doesn't love the sky— just because she spends most of her time in it and dreaming of it doesn't mean she loves it— and she doesn't like Twilight.

Her? In love? Riiight. She'd sooner admit to like reading than to admit she liked that nerd. Which means, by the way, that she doesn't like either! Reading Daring Do was just for fun, and, just because you'd find it fun doesn't mean you like it. Just like Twilight. Just because she finds the mare an absolute riot and endearing, doesn't mean she likes her.

Because that was cringe. Love is cringe. And she wasn't cringe— she was cool, rad, and absolutely awesome. Love was for mares like Rarity and Fluttershy, something girl-ish and feminine. For ponies who were soft. For ponies who was everything that wasn't her. Romance was for someone soft and smooth, like those expensive silken sheets she'd see in this luxurious store.

Love was a luxury she cannot afford.

She knew she needed to apologize to Spike, the dragon didn't deserve to be snapped at and snubbed despite being completely in the wrong, but there was too much pride inside the pegasus' heart. Arrogance, as Applejack would've called it, but what does she know? What does anypony— and dragon!— know? Why do they have to go around, tell her what she was feeling and tell her what not to do when they don't even know her.

She flapped her wings downwards, giving herself enough force to fly up. Higher, she thought. She needs to fly higher and see the skies much more clearer. Flying and looking at the sky makes her feel better because she loves— er, like— uh, tolerated them just enough.

Once she thought she was at adequate height, she let herself relax. Spike really got in to her, she wasn't gonna lie. His words echoed in her head mercilessly, serving as an endless alarm that just won't stop. But, she reminded herself, maybe that was all part of his plan to push him away from Twilight.

"Exactly." She muttered to herself. "He's just being possessive with Twilight 'cause he considers her his mom. 'S probably like instinct or something." She paused, as if digesting what she said and suddenly, everything clicked. "Aha! All of it is probably a ploy. A devious plan! He's just telling me that I'm in love with Twilight— which is not true— just to get in my nerves so that I avoid her and I won't spend any time with her anymore!" She cackled to herself gleefully.

"I'm a genius!" She shot up in the air, doing a few tricks casually—and smugly— leaning back to relax. "How's that huh? Spike: zero, me: one!" She closed her eyes, shaking her head in pity. "He's probably still knee deep in denial right now. Poor guy." She said, like a hypocrite.

She let the familiar smirk take over her face. God, it was hard to be this amazing— Spike wasn't the only one who can psychoanalyze, she can too! How he'd like that, huh?

"What do I do then?" She mumbled to herself. She can't do what Spike wants, absolutely not! That's like, walking into a trap that's so visible it's obvious— hah! She can also be deep and philosophical, see?— and that can't happen. The obvious choice was to spend so much time as possible with Twilight. She even said so herself that she wants to spend time with her, so it's not like she's taking advantage of her or anything. In fact, she's doing Twilight a favor.

Now that she thinks about it, maybe it's Twilight who actually liked her. Who wouldn't really? She was awesome, charming and undeniably hot. She's used to being liked anyways, many mares have professed their undying love to her— she turned them all down of course, Rainbow Dash has a career to think about, and love would just get in the way— and Twilight wouldn't be any different.

If she did confess though... As the thought popped into her head, for some reason she absolutely cannot explain and doesn't know why, the tip of her ears heat up, before it slowly crawled to her cheeks. If Twilight confesses to her, then she'd—

In her peripheral vision, she could faintly see glinting gold of carriage walls appear. Immediately, she snapped out of her daydreaming and swerved to the side, giving way to the vehicle to pass through. The carriage owner faintly acknowledged her, giving him a succinct nod. She nodded back, an uneasy smile in her face before she flew away.

"Crap." She cursed. She avoided it in time— before 'in time' even, but normally, she'd be alert enough to notice it about ten seconds before it's in the collision zone, but earlier, she realized the vehicle was within the collision zone five seconds before.

This hasn't happened before, this wasn't her. Rainbow Dash just wasn't awesome— she also had the skill to back it up. She brags a lot, sure, but all of her bragging came from something. If she were to lose all her skills and sharpness because of...of whatever bullshit Spike was saying, then— while not true— she should avoid it at all cost. The thing of course. The L word. Not Twilight. Because she wasn't in love with her.

She was sure of it.

Author's Note:

Chapter title is inspired by Bluebird by Charles Bukowski. I just realized how fitting the entirety of the poem was— and it even has the title of 'blue' bird!— and I just fell smitten by it. I stumbled upon it by chance, when I was supposed to searching for references to cite in my research, but I... I honestly don't know, I think something else caught my eye and one thing led to another and then I started looking at poems instead.

I hope Rainbow Dash sounded like Rainbow Dash. In a way, I had a hard time figuring out her voice: while my writing consists of soft pillows and long rolls of parchment, she was made up of firecrackers and bullets; to write something that seemed too chaotic for words is not something I'm used too.

Comments

[ruinology]

11889320
I'm so glad you think so! I had to back and fourth between dialogue— and even watch snippets of the show on repeat— just so I can really get their voice. Spike was not initially my favorite character, but after reading everything about him on wikis and watching his moments on the show eventually led me to have him as one of my top five— it's just so fun writing him.

And, I like to think that Twilight, when stuck in some sort of focused haze, she's really oblivious to her surrounding cause all of her focus and energy is on studying. That or she has shit hearing. I'm stuck between that two headcanon lmao

[ruinology]

11887681
THIS IS SO NICE? AND YOU MADE AN ACCOUNT JUST TO COMMENT? IM SO FLATTERED, THANK YOU! I'm glad I could capture Twilight because her panic is really hard to pin point; sometimes there's a rambly panic, the outburst panic and the "we need to create an exact copy of Ponyville" panic. While observant, Twilight just has some moments in the show where she overanalyze something and make it bigger than it has to be.

I'm happy you enjoyed the story :)) MLP came out when I was young too, and just like you I had some fond— and not so good memories, brr the creepypastas I've been exposed too— memories of the show. I think I wrote this out of nostalgia and also because I've been stressed so much with my research that my way of coping just turned into this: a silly little MLP fanfic. Thanks for your lovely comment, I really enjoyed reading it :))

[ruinology]

11886241
Good advice, I should really do it lol, there's just times when I get too excited and miss out spelling errors

[ruinology]

11886596
I'm glad :))!

[LastToTheParty]

Loving the story so far .

As already pointed out your characterizations of the early seasons' personalities are on point, more so than most other fics on this site:

While everyone knows that Twilight has a brilliant mind and lacks social skills, I like that have made her more of an intellectual, as she is most certainly well-read, so her referencing things like Kafka's Metamorphosis makes a lot of sense. Though of course, she is still scatterbrained when it comes to social skills and really most things concerning day-to-day business, how she would have survived without Spike we might never know.
Though now I have to wonder who Franz Kafka is in this world, as that's certainly not a Pony name (Maybe a griffon, as the former Griffion kingdom is often given German references by the MLP fandom) and if his story was more experience-related like our world's counterpart: We actually have beings that can turn from bugs to ponies, even if your story is probably set before Equestria becomes aware of them, as he could have witnessed a changeling by chance.

Rainbow is also on point as she is a pony of action. She doesn't think too deeply or make elaborate plans but rather makes a plan of action. If she is forced to self-reflect, she'd most certainly not start self-questioning and rather arrive straight at a point that would fit her worldview, even if that does not match real-world facts. And of course, she does her reflecting while being on the move, Rainbow is as easily able to stop moving as many sharks are swimming.

Finally, I really love how you have written Spike as he is at the same time very mature and childlike. He is probably one of the most up characters as he is not only very knowledgeable, certainly a byproduct of being Twiligth's son/brother, but contrary to Twilight can handle day-to-day business and see social cues. In a sense he is as much taking care of Twilight as she is of him, giving them an often portrayed dynamic where the child of a single parent takes almost as much care of the parent, as the parent does of the child.
But of course, he is also still a child and, similar to Twilight, very immature when it comes to his own feelings. Him not knowing how to deal with his sister/mother falling in love seems to be pretty on point.
What I like about the whole situation, is that you have hit a good balance between these two sides, as he most certainly displays both, being incredibly mature for his age at times, while also acting very immature at others.

All in all a great read, I can't wait for what else you have in store .

[ruinology]

11890103
IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED (I made some sort of backstory for MLP equivalent of Kafka, I thought it was kind of weird and irrelevant so I didn't add it in) but Kafka in this world is his pen name, His actual name is Franz and, you're right, he is a griffon!

Franz got his name from the pegasus name Jackdaw 'Kavka', a philosopher who wrote about myths and novels about flight, aerodynamics and existentialism back in the day. I like to think that in this dimension, Franz wanted to become a writer, but knew that not many— both the Griffons and the Ponies themselves— would take kindly to that idea, and the fact that the Griffons would probably not appreciate literature either, so he created the pen name Kafka that sounds odd, but not too out of place for to Ponies, and published it under that name to be read and appreciated by the other kind. His story is inspired by not exactly changelings, but it drew the concept from them of changing one's appearance, though his novel went from griffon to a 'bug' or changeling— I like to think that many race call changeling bugs as an insult because of their history with them— after reading all about them, and moreso that he feels as if he doesn't fit in with the idealized Griffon-like personity that they held ideal. The changeling theme of the story would be its equivalent metaphor.

As for Rainbow's characterization, you're right! I'd like to think of her as an unreliable narrator of sorts— I think she's the type of pony to think that her pov is right, absolutely ignoring the truth in her face just so she could avoid it.

And Spike's character, for me, really boils down to being the more social equivalent of Twilight, though a bit naive, impulsive and reckless at a point. He takes the role of the more empathetic between the two of them because I think at some point in Canterlot, Twilight would've been so out of touch with people she probably says something offensive and hurtful, and Spike will need to be the one who has to understand social situations and explain it to Twilight.

(Also, I'm sorry this got a little too rant-y, I got too carried away lol. I just really like long and well thought about comments like this, omg thankyou! And I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far :))

[LastToTheParty]

11890197
Yeay more backstory, and all I had to do was give a more in-depth comment .

I'm glad I'm not the only one who likes to think more deeply about some smaller details, though I had not expected it on the level of having a story on its own. Thank you for sharing it . While it certainly has no place in the story it's always nice to see a bit more of the world each author fleshes out, either in comments or blog posts dedicated to it.

I think you've hit the nail on the head when it comes to Rainbow, for the early season at least, as she is so sure of herself to the point of ignoring everything but her point of view. That is one of the reasons why some people don't like her after all and I must admit would be really annoying if she weren't a generally nice pony otherwise. Still, cue obvious meme reference:

Spike and Twilight really have an interesting dynamic in the earlier seasons, as before Twilight grows as a pony, you've correctly identified that he has to be her guide through social situations, as she starts totally socially clueless. Even after she improves he still has to help her out once in a while, Season 5 Episode 12 - Amending Fences comes to mind. So I can't imagine earlier seasons' Twilight without Spike nearby in some capacity so I think it's great how you included him and gave him a pivotal enough role despite it obviously being a Twidash-centered one.

Also, I added your story to a few groups for better visibility, would be a shame for people to miss it.