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CH1: Awakening1,622 words
CH2: First Contact1,710 words
CH3: Second First Contact1,359 words
CH4: Preliminary Exploration1,880 words

CH2: First Contact

Author's Note:

This chapter features uncharacteristic violence and death. This will not be standard for the fic as far as I can imagine.

Quite obviously, I’m not exactly sure how long I was asleep at the foot of that tree. When I awoke next, it was just as bright as it had been when I slept, the sun held high in the middle of the sky and filtered through the canopy in little shattered pieces. Just as I had felt more in tune with the exact capacity by which my stomach was filled- slightly less now that I had rested, for that matter- it felt as if I could quantify my exhaustion directly, as if it were some sort of gauge I could reference and read easily. In the same way I must have naturally kept myself upright as a human and knew to breath in and out at even intervals, I could simply tap into this reservoir of knowledge naturally.

These changes had yet to fully settle into the human part of my brain; if I were truly present, I would almost certainly be more confused, more inquisitive, more afraid, but what was fear worth at this current moment? I was in uncharted land in an unfamiliar body; as I had decided yesterday, fear was a luxury I could no longer partake in. What would fear do for me? As far as I knew, there was no way to return to my human body, much less home. I had to remain collected, to not be ungrateful for whatever grip I could get on this slippery situation, so I accepted these new sensations readily.

What had compelled me to wake up after what could have well been multiple days asleep? My ear twitched as I started to analyze my surroundings, hearing the telltale trodding and snapping sound of a creature traipsing through the thick woods around us, and my mouth opened unintentionally as my brain was flooded with that delightful “smell” I had sensed from the liquid before, thick in the air and beckoning me to action. Something was running about, and it must have been just as delicious as the goo I’d consumed greedily. If I were more human, I might have hesitated and reconsidered my next course of action, but the remnants of that life were leaving me quickly, especially with the encouragement of this meal like a carrot on a stick in front of a mountable animal (could I make comparisons like that when I was in this form?).

I stood quickly and ran a few paces into the dark forest surrounding the little area I now considered home, now covered in darkness sans little spots of light that barely made my form visible. My lanky dark figure must have fit in with the surrounding trees. If I were to extract the taste I so desired from whatever was around the corner, I figured I must need to sneak up on it, and I stopped before I got too close. Whatever it was, my ears could pick up that it was getting nearer. The time spent waiting allowed my eyes to become acclimated to the dark as I stood stock still in anticipation.

In mere moments, I could finally see what was producing the noise, what manner of creature populated this strange new Earth I had found myself trapped in. It was quite easy to spot in contrast to the darkness and muddy colors I had become familiar with, given it was a bright gaudy pink color across its soft body, topped with pale hair and tail. It shared the same body plan as me, some sort of equine, though its curves and features remained a bit alien, at least compared to the gangly tall horses I once knew and even compared to my chitinous form. Its hooves belled out towards the bottom and its muzzle had an almost pug-like slant to it, and I considered if it must be a bug like me given how huge its gleaming eyes were, which were focused on a butterfly flittering in arcs before it. It was a touch smaller than me, though I had no idea what that meant relative to the populace at large given I hadn’t seen a sample size large enough to generalize yet- I figured this behavior, though, chasing butterflies, was decidedly childish. Perhaps the large eyes were a symptom of its youth, then.

Again, if I were more human, I would not have done what then hashed out, but taking the situation realistically, I was a creature in need of subsistence and no longer privileged enough to live in a house with a stocked kitchen full of food that I never needed to consider the source of. In this unknown new environment, if the opportunity to feast presented itself to me, I simply had to pursue it, lest I miss out on a meal that might be crucial to my continued survival, which still vexed me so but nonetheless I felt the need to defend. If I was more present, I might have clocked the separation in my mind as dissociation, but by definition I simply was not of right mind enough to label it as such if it were the case- or perhaps the magical slipping of dimensions and bodies had a literal physiological toll on me, splitting my mind in two. I could not know at the moment. Regardless, the human part of me disappeared for a moment, and I worked on instinct once more. Vicious, animal instinct.

The young creature (a small horse? A pony?) had lost sight of the butterfly, and only now seemed to realize that it was deep in the woods and visibility was difficult when not pursuing a point of color which, elevated, often caught the light above it. It seemed worried, hesitant, ambling as if unsure, and when it turned from where I had lied in wait, I ran directly towards it, mouth agape, fangs poised, consciously blank on what I could possibly be doing. My body knew better than my mind; the small pony screamed for only a moment, its mouth stretched as wide as my own was in some apparent, silent agony as the extraordinary sense once more flooded my body. I could nearly see it, the pink mist leaving this creature, filling me to the brim and then some. It was past consuming a good meal, better than anything I’d eaten with my homo sapien mouth, and much more euphoric than that. Was this what people talked about when they spoke about the serotonin boosts of sugar, distilled and tenfold? Once again, I had no luxury to consider that; all I knew was that this act, ripping and tearing the glorious “feeling” from this creature was the most rapturous comfort I may have ever felt in either of my lives, as short as the second one current has been.

Eventually, though, the flow became to taper off, much to my chagrin. My body felt as if I needed more, and I was not practiced enough to hold back, either way; I continued with more fervor, feeling in my core that pulling, the sense that my very being was yanking something extra out of this creature, and it began to feel as if this thread was fraying, that tension grew so thick it had to snap eventually. The creature, held in some sort of green aura (was that coming from me?), kicked its legs desperately as its eyes rolled back, its colors losing saturation and its body losing a bit of that noticeable plumpness. Then, drained of energy, it grew still.

I came back into full consciousness, suddenly aware that I had almost certainly killed this thing- this living filled with some youthful whimsy enough so to chase bugs, a creature that must have been sapient enough to feel joy and fear. Dissociation was the best word for what I was going through; I had to separate myself from this, confused and horrified by my actions while my body soothed me, felt this dastardly pleasure in betrayal to my mind. I felt as if I had done the right thing; I felt like a murderer.

I had to investigate the body further, to ensure it was dead, though I could already sense it in that sixth+ sense I was becoming so familiar with. The glorious scent had left its body, and now only the ghost of it lingered on its pale fur. Whatever this wonderful smell was, even once I had gouged all I could out of it, it still permeated through the creature, as if its very flesh was steeped in the stuff. Leaning down, sniffling, I considered that line of thought. I had to get rid of this body somehow. I was an animal now, something with fangs that only seemed right to rip and tear with. I was no longer human, I could not retain my human fear of raw meat as I now no longer had the human privileges of comfort I once had. I dissociated further as I set myself to consume this creature fully.

I returned to my little divet in the ground, rubbing myself against the dirt to try and mop the blood off of my body, most of which had already been shaken off during the process of digging a small hole, shoving the non-edible portions in, and burying it back up (down?). Even as my chitin shined black once more, I still felt dirty. Was this the new normal for me? With no way back home and no one to save me, I could only assume as such. I curled up to sleep, staring up at the little orbs clinging to the branches above me. They had grown substantially, perhaps retroactively informing me that a few good days had passed with how plump they’d become. Once more I felt myself growing hungry as I focused on the little spheres, and had to consciously tear my eyes away from them, sighing as I closed my eyes. My body felt so modular, so separate; it felt like operating a machine, with percent guages to monitor statistics, and with a clinical detachment from my conscious self and the memory of me. Would I get used to this eventually?

If I did, would I be happier for it?

Would it matter?

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Ralanost

Ralanost #1 · 2 weeks ago · 3 · ·

Wow, that is supremely fucked up. He remembered it screamed. Most animals don't scream in fear, at least like we do. Disassociation or not, he went too far. I think other changelings would be horrified at his actions. Trauma and desperation can only account for so much. Dude is a monster.

Aiwhisper