After that fight between the professional hero Saitama and the entity known as GOD, our favorite bald man was attacked in one last action by his opponent. Falling into a new and unknown world where with a new body and abilities he enters this new world to live great adventures with new friends, allies and enemies.
More good
Why Saitama a changeling
11531299
Because usually in a crossover story where a character from another franchise enters the world of MLP, it's always a pony and I want to vary it a bit, break out of the mold.
Que chiquito es este mundo para ver alguien más de Argentina acá. Anyway. Besides some grammatical errors here and there mostly from translating an already written story, so far so good.
11531651
Viva Argentina. Thank you for reading
More good
I like this, one of my favorites now.
More good
Huh this odd odd indeed wonder if rainbow dash or applejack copy him.
11531650
Technically, the mold exists for a reason. I'm not saying you can't change him into whatever you want, I'm just saying that the changes need to make sense. You're going to need a very good reason as to why he is a changeling because to be honest, his gimmick of breaking things with one punch makes more sense if he's a Yak.
More good
Why not use one of the female One Punch Man characters? ...Sorry, I just prefer female characters over male ones.
The story's pace is a bit rush but still overall in an acceptable speed. Although I was surprised Rarity didn't find him first, since she usually the first to notice a crime in fashion.
Saitama being a changeling was a bit of a surprise but not by much. Though, I think he might be a good role model for Thorax or Kevin. Plus I want to see him slap Chrysalis out of Canterlot.
Saitama: Oh, there is a bug. [slap] Now it's gone.
Rainbow: Dude, you are a bug too.
Saitama: OK, they is... was a 'giant' bug, and now it's gone.
Pinkie: You are not good at comedy, are you?
11541775
Ehhh, good for you
There are some typo you might need to correct to prevent any confusion.
her ( I am pretty sure Saitama was talking about Dash's home here )
she ( I believe it was Dash who was talking to Twilight, and Saitama wouldn't talk about Wonderbolts enthusiastically )
Also, I think you could stop calling Saitama a 'bald man' now. Since non-queen changeling normally do not have mane, and there is no such word as 'man' in pony's vocabulary. So it is highly strange that Rainbow or anypony would refer Saitama as a 'bald man'. Moreover, Saitama himself always reject his moniker 'Caped Baldy' and never voluntarily refer to himself by that name. Just use Saitama or he/him is sufficient for the story.
11541807
I appreciate it, as I commented, this story is of Spanish origin and I have to use google translator to pass it here and that is why the spelling errors.
I think you need some proofread in your story since your pronoun/possessive pronoun usage might cause confusion. Other than that, I do think your story is amusing and enjoyable to read.
Who is 'him' here? I thought he was talking to Rainbow Dash here. And what did you mean by 'asked our hero using his insect wings'? Did you imply Saitama use his insect wings to perform a speech or something? I'm confused here.
Wait, I thought this is Nightmare Moon's POV here. Definitely not Saitama's, since there is no way he know to use his horn to do magic. I believe what you were trying to say is "she point her horn at him".
I am pretty sure Nightmare Moon is definitely a she not he.
Hold up, did Saitama also get gender-bent when he arrived at Equestria? I noticed you refer to Saitama as she/her more than a couple occasions.
11541813
I see. I apologize if my suggestion did bother you. Still, I do hope Google continue to improve their translator so I can properly read good stories - no matter which language they originated from.
11541932
Relax mate, no problem. I hope you enjoyed the story
11541932
Relax mate, no problem. I hope you enjoyed the story
Add him
More good
More good
Man I wonder if they can see Saitama memory wonder how they would react
Someone with Rainbow's and Gilda's attitude won't live long back in Saitama's original world. Always let emotion get the best of them, constantly overestimate themselves, and never analyze the situations before acting (or maybe they are unable to do so?).
11580420
They need Luna's help on that one.
Goku wasn't my first choice but he is still one of the obvious answer.
11580559
I have the same opinion.
11580420
This is not the first time someone has made that comment.
11581266
Really are you thinking about doing it
11581804
Maybe
More good
Less gore? It seems Saitama has learnt how to pull punch after all. That's good.
Meanwhile, in Yakyakistan;
Yak#1: Chief! Something big just crash in the nearby mountain!
11592522
Agree
11541805
Is that a no, then?
Did you swap the genders the characters because rainbow dash is female and it's very confusing because the way you use him and her
More good
Looks like we need to skip to Gauntlet of Fire as quickly as possible. Otherwise Ember and Smolder would be in danger.
11634550
Agreed
How did Garou get there in the first place
At least Spike have a dragon buddy now
11634607
soon you will know
Нет усов?🥲
11650457
HeT
Чувак, мне действительно понравилось работа, пускай это и не мой стиль написания (всё таки мы не один человек 😅) но работа меня зацепила не смотря на некоторые сюжетные недочёты. Я действительно получил удовольствие. В общем, ты крут. Не забрасывай работу, уверен скоро его оценят больше людей.
11651655
Эй, спасибо большое, чувак, я очень ценю это.
https://ibb.co/GTwwn6V
Рисунок, надеюсь понравится 😁, решил не раскрашивать
11654318
10/10
11654318
I love it