• Member Since 5th Dec, 2018
  • offline last seen May 4th

SockPuppet


I like writing about the worst day of a character's life; it lets us see the mettle inside. (Pronouns: RB/20 )

T
Source

Ponyville is a special town. Its ambulance requires special equipment.


A collaboration between Samey90 and Sockpuppet!

Authors' notes.

Audio reading (quite excellent).

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 44 )

Redheart pulled off her nurse's cap and held it to her chest, head bowed. Both fireponies bowed their heads and held their hooves to their hearts for a moment.
"Vaya con Luna," the three mumbled after a moment.

I do appreciate a good bit of leaving it to the reader's imagination.

"Wonderbolts," Redheart said, "can't engage in competitive lava surfing, can't engage in amateur lava surfing, can't engage in hydra-tipping, can't engage in sexual intercourse with yaks, and can't ride barrels over waterfalls."

I feel like that isn't an exhaustive list. And that Rainbow Dash is adding entries to it on a regular basis.

I do appreciate Trixie using a Demon Core as a barbeque.

Some creepy bits given some of the younger patients/perpetrators, but overall a fun dose of Ponyville insanity. Thank/curse you for it.

11479158
Thank you!

And with a Samey / Sock collab, shit gon git weird.

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11479162
Plot twist: it's not the last collab we're planning :pinkiecrazy:
Also, it's hardly the first time a Redheart fic has a foal ending up with something stuck where it doesn't belong. Ponyville Insanity knows no age.

"Also, we don't say 'midget' anymore, they're 'little ponies'," Fire Axe snapped. "And we don't say 'dominatrix' anymore, we say 'confidence-assertive sex worker'."

Oh my fucking god. What retard SJW came up with these? In universe, not the author obviously. Have a fav and upvote for sure.

11479232
They may have been vertically challenged, I guess.

11479236
No. They're midgets or dwarfs.

11479241
Well, that rules out Fleur.

"Where's Miss Raven?" Fire Axe asked nervously. "She's done our inspection the last ten years running."

"She asked me to fill in today," Fleur explained. "She ate some of Luna's cooking."

Luna: "So? What do you think of my Lasagna?"

Raven: "I think it needs a proper burial..."

static.wikia.nocookie.net/spongebob/images/3/3c/Squilliam_Returns_073.png/revision/latest?cb=20200806154809

Below the hedge trimmers was a large crowbar.

Two words: Troy Rising

"It's a metal sphere about this big," Redheart held her hooves apart, "inside a hole in some metallic-looking bricks. She changed the grilling temperature by using a screwdriver to raise and lower another brick on top of it."

I hope that drawer is lead-lined or better, because otherwise putting it in a drawer probably isn't going to do very much to shield against the radiation if it's close or at criticality as is implied (particularly as it's implied to be Demon Core-like, which was deliberately built to be easy to put into criticality, given its original purpose to be the core of a would-be nuclear bomb). :twilightoops:

Also, how is Trixie not already dead from radiation poisoning? :facehoof:

11479232
Actually, the whole "they're not midgets, they're little people" thing goes back a fair bit, well before "SJW" was even coined as a term--I've been hearing it sporadically for three or so decades now (with the implication that it was already a old gag even then) and, tellingly, always in the joking sense, so to poke fun at political correctness in general by exaggerating it for comedic effect. The "dominatrix" bit is clearly just Sock's extension of that same joke. I don't think anybody ever actually seriously uses either in any sense outside of joking (and if any do, they're very few and almost certainly not taken seriously by anybody else :trollestia:).

In short, I wouldn't read that much into it, dude. :raritywink:

Huk

"It's a metal sphere about this big," Redheart held her hooves apart, "inside a hole in some metallic-looking bricks. She changed the grilling temperature by using a screwdriver to raise and lower another brick on top of it."

So... The Great and Radioactive Trixie was cooking some 'Daemon Hayburgers,' eh :trixieshiftright:? Then again... given the scale of crazy shit that happens in Ponyville, that probably shouldn't surprise anyone :unsuresweetie:

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Also, how is Trixie not already dead from radiation poisoning?

It's her special talent, apparently.

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I would personally assume that there's a lot more Trixies then you'd expect. When one invariably dies, another wakes up, dusts herself off, and goes into some other suicidal dangerous situation to prove her greatness.

I do think all of them probably regret the Yak Gangbang. Death would have been easier than the recovery ward.

As a shameless Cozy Gow simp this story has me humming a certain song

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I feel like that isn't an exhaustive list. And that Rainbow Dash is adding entries to it on a regular basis.

Dash's entries can be succinctly summed up as "If Dash's response to being told 'No' is a petulant hoofstomp and a whine of 'But it'll be awesome...!', then it definitely is not allowed"

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Clearly, rules-layer Dash is responsible for pro and amateur lava surfing being listed.

:pinkiehappy:
"Didjya like my o&o story?"

Blink Blink Blink
:applejackunsure:
💭"Wut in tarnation did ah just read?"

:twilightsheepish:
"heh heh, it was fine Pinkie. But maybe next time...leave the details a little less erm explicit?"

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I'm not reading that much into it. Just reacting in the only way I know (and not caring at all about the downvote bots that spam my comments). I wouldn't have faved the story otherwise.

11479232
I see what you're saying but you used a slur so your argument is invalid

I appreciate the fact that Cozy isn't actualky all that great in chess. Probably decent, but she still relies on manipulation and distraction instead of raw skill. And fails.

Trixie using the Demon Core as a grill was a joke I never expected but sorely needed. The whole mental image of it got me cracking up!

11480115
That is glorious.

i regret reading this

Is it good or bad that I recognised the Demon Core on sight? That's gotta be a niche joke.

11481363
Luckily this is a niche fandom, and the overlap between "Manhattan Project stans" and "Bronies" is high.

11481363
I don't think it really that unusual--the Demon Core story has become fairly popular with the general public lately, enough to achieve something of a meme status (clearly).

Were you to still immediately catch that same reference about a decade ago, then that'd probably be a bit more unusual. :rainbowlaugh:

Fleur delicately licked the drop. "That's ethanol."

I'm honestly surprised that this wasn't a way to keep Berry Punch from having fatal withdrawal symptoms. Guess she's got a good enough supply in town.

11479341
Sequel: Great and Powerful Hulxie.

"It's a metal sphere about this big," Redheart held her hooves apart, "inside a hole in some metallic-looking bricks. She changed the grilling temperature by using a screwdriver to raise and lower another brick on top of it."

That sounds like the DEMON CORE.

The demon core was a spherical 6.2-kilogram subcritical mass of plutonium 89 millimetres in diameter, manufactured during World War II by the United States nuclear weapon development effort, the Manhattan Project, as a fissile core for an early atomic bomb.

11481363
I see you too are a man of science.

11482377
I unironically work with radiation for a living. It was... a surprise.

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She gifts one to Flurry Heart.

How the hell did Trixie get the Demon Core?

Excellent story. :rainbowlaugh:

11487502

Some questions, I don't want the answer to.

Thanks!

"Chocolate—" Fleur stammered for a moment, then regained her composure enough to say, "if you put this into a pony, you'd be facing a malpractice lawsuit at best, and more likely ponyslaughter charges."

In the drawer was another bag, Intravenous-grade chocolate syrup, semi-sweet.

"No," Redheart said.

Fleur stomped. "Name one pony who needs intravenous chocolate syrup! Name one."

All three said, "Pinkie Pie."

Fleur made another X on her clipboard.

HAHAHA! This was both hilarious and it makes a ton of sense.

:pinkiehappy:

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About almost the best pony, such a fic has already been written: The Great and Deathless Trixie

Fire Axe nodded. "Yup. Removed that from a filly's body cavity yesterday. We had to go and fetch her, since with that needing to be removed, she wasn't able to get herself here on her scooter."

Oh. My...

"Filly at Twilight's school, small and pink, very irritating, has a chess cutie mark," Redheart said. "We confiscated the outfit because she was using it to distract the other players."

I was reading this thinking "Wow, Admiral Biscuit throwing some references". Turns out it wasn't Admiral Biscuit at all :rainbowlaugh:

Still good references though.

Hello! I reviewed this recently, so have a courtesy comment. This was fun and inventive, though not entirely to my own tastes as innuendo is not really my thing. Still gets a like, though!

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