A human appears in a remote batpony town. Well... he appears a good distance above the tree canopy outside of said town. Bruised and battered, he's rescued by three strange equine creatures.
What were these talking horses? How did he get here? Where exactly was he?
Better yet, who was he?
My first story, and I decided to make it HiE. Don't expect regular updates, if any at all. Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.
It's a very nice job making us feel very present inside the story. Good job!
I'm already hooked after reading both chapters and looking forward to how chapter 3 plays out, keep up the good work.
Nice work so far!
Great job writing out Anon adjusting to waking up in the bat pony village. Just do the best you can writing out 1.5k chapter, I remember when I was first getting into writing fanfiction I had written out a chapter that was 10k or more words.
Anyways keep up the awesome work.
Me like, into my library you go!
I'm interested to see where this goes.
Thanks for the update!
I think the characters could do with more description. I don't think we know what Anon looks like. And I could do with periodic reminders about what each pony looks like. And I was a bit confused when Anon had his moment at the card table. Not really sure what happened as it just sounded like he maybe stood up and gripped the table? Just more details please.
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Thanks for the feedback. I'll definitely keep that in mind for next chapter. What happened at the card table pretty much was just that, but looking back on it i think i shouldve written anon's actions to be a little more aggressive, or maybe shouldve just had him do something different altogether to show some turbulence in his mental state.
But yes. More descriptions of characters and more references to how they look. And describe Anon. I'll see what I can do next chapter. Thanks again!
Can’t really think of anything to offer for writing advice, but I’m enjoying what you’re got so far!~
-Rub
OH NOEZ!!! The vamponies will slurp out all the human's tasty blud!!
Ain't this some confusing shit
Thanks for the update!
Nice to see this updating again.
Lovely chapter and your character interactions are done very nicely, and yes Fly is incredibly adorable. I’m excited to see this progress and I’m interested in seeing your other works if you do end up publishing them
An interesting premise, bat ponies, good grammar and punctuation, okay, I'll bite.
Nice work, I would be interested in seeing more!
ooh fun start wonder what will happen to him
yay pony group hug
Awesome I curious what's in store
Yay
Is it wrong that I want a drawing of that?
I gotta admit he’s not wrong for thesrals/bat ponies
Hmm curiouser and curiouser
Aaaannnd we're done.
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lol sorry
nah but this is going in the direction of having some gay romance. Nothing that would warrant an M rating, of course. Still, I probably should've added a romance tag earlier, but back then it was still just an idea that I hadn't fully fleshed out. That's changed.
I will be covering more of the topic further down the line and I plan for it to play a decently significant part in the plot, so I understand if you don't want to continue reading. If that's the case, thanks for getting this far and maybe we'll meet again if you come across another of my stories. Seeya around
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Thank you for being so polite, but I implore you, don't do this. God is already too much offended by the increase of immorality and sin, let us not offend him anymore.