Canterlot; 05/11/994
A unicorn is dead.
Files, transcripts, fragments, articles, pictures and letters concerning Twilight Sparkle's disappearance and subsequent death, the events immediately related to it, and the lives and actions of the ponies whom the event drastically affected.
An entry into The Twilight Files Contest.
Prereading and cover art assistance courtesy of Reviewfilly.
Wonderful work in peeling back the layers of deception to reveal the horror beneath. The twist reveal of the captain's identity was masterfully executed.
I admit, I was a bit confused at first because I was reading the dates as M/D/Y rather than D/M/Y, but I figured it out soon enough. Thank you for a gripping read, and best of luck in the judging.
So Discord was far more malevolent and powerful in this AU.
What’s the significance of the pluralization in the anthem?
This really was a satisfying read, and a clever one as well.
To be honest, the M/D/Y thing threw me for a loop for a second, but I suppose it's a matter of habit, and it didn't detract from my enjoyment of the story.
The ending surprised me, and it's nice to see the AU tag utilised properly.
I also really liked the format, I must confess I'm a sucker to this kind of writing.
Best of luck in the contest!
Wow!
Very compelling and intriguing. Mystery actually had a very, very satisfying resolution- every time I got to a new reveal I would be like "oh shit" and go back to previous chapters and read and ohhh mmhmnmnmng it fits together SO WELL
I guess one thing I'm a bit about is unless I'm really dumb, I didn't really notice how Shining died? In the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter, but I guess I kind of wish it had been tied to the whole central conspiracy or whatever. Or maybe it was explained and I'm very oblivious. Still, not a big deal.
Great job again!! I can't emphasize how much I appreciate that you managed to actually stick the landing at the end. Too many times I get to ~the reveal~ in horror stories/movies and I'm like "oh okay" but this one made me like, snap my fingers and go "OH SHIIIIIT!"
oof, if her story had ended here that is indeed the line with which it would have ended. definitely a chilling and intriguing start
love the shortening of Moondancer's name, as well as Twilight casually testing memory spells on her "friends" with only her larger goals in mind.
oof, i'm guessing the redacted name is Shining Armor, and if so he is being very restrained in the face of callousness about his sister's death, and in that case i assume the [redacted] hasn't made the familial connection
well the "N.L." is clearly Twilight's dad, who would definitely want to get to the bottom of this no matter what it takes. i do wonder if "O.G." is meant to be a pony we know, though.
augh that little bit of self-talk at the end really equinises the writer if she weren't already a known main character.
oof, turning living dragons into magical devices of some sort? sounds like just the kind of horrifying thing to keep locked away in an archive. guessing this connects to Spike, or the lack thereof in this AU, as well as darker secrets to come.
yeah i imagine there are many reasons for that!
ooh how delightfully unsettling! the idea of foallore preserving lost knowledge like this is always a fascinating one to explore, and i can't wait to see how these pieces come together.
again, love the unsettlingness! just how many ponies know of The Spire's secrets? enough for some to vandalize the Royal Palace about it? (is The Spire the living body of a harnessed dragon???)
the combination of security and complacency is interesting
oof, i don't like that "would have"!
well it looks like not all the guards are incompetent! these initials though, they always make me feel like i should know which ponies they are!
ah, guessing the "ma'am" is the S.S. from earlier, then! and Private Lightning Dust? also, i guess that memory spells are pretty routine in this Equestria
yeah they should've had a better cover for that! and i like that Twilight is in the same position of being intrigued by the clues and needing to solve the mystery as the audience (me) is.
i guess that memory spells have been historically routine in this Equestria
edge of my seat!
so more than a century passed between the one document about Project Starcrown and the spire! have entire generations of ponies been devoted to whatever this is?
excitement for reveal increasing
the familiarity of calling her "Twilight" does make me think this is Shining Armor, or at least somepony that knew Twilight personally.
oof, The Spire being the housing for a chained dragon wyrm does seem to match these clues...
O.G., nice!
this one just snuck in there at the end, and doesn't really fit in with the others... considering Twilight was twenty-one in 994, that would make her five in 978, which makes that a possible date for her cutie mark event in the canon timeline, which should have been her hatching Spike...
definitely sounds like it's housing something very long...
four days after Twilight was found dead! so who is this...
it's coming together!
oof, all of these details are very unsettling :( just why would her hooves and teeth be worn out???
the "our mare" from earlier? Twilight is actually alive and an alicorn now?!? i really have nothing
Sunset yay! if she were the one that had gotten further into researching the Spire, that would be fitting, i think! an interesting reversal to have Sunset turn back from the precipice, and Twilight push herself over it
hehe i do quite like this phrase. also, why the note-passing if it is so urgent? mysterious
aww i can just imagine this
always eerie to be in a space not built for your body's scale
sounds like official documentation covering up another secret project...
oof, tension rising!
Orange Gin isn't too old themself, then!
oh, so he must have been the one who did the vandalism!
well i feel silly now not connecting a really good candidate for who "S.S." is. and officially being an Archivist and not officially connected to the guard structure means it makes sense for her to be passing notes to somepony who is.
can't wait to see how the Spire is a load-bearing part of keeping Equestria together, since that is what i am getting from this!
just want to give Twilight a hug :(
premonition of what would happen if a sleeping dragon wyrm long-buried in the middle of it were to be woken up, perhaps?
really excited to see this pay off! love it when horrific things are justified because they prevent even more horrific things.
oof, her disquieting injuries are all coming together now. horrifying...
have all ponies "been there", somehow? i am with Captain S****** here i am freaked out!
at least i can carry in my heart that Twilight did triumph, in her own way, before her grisly end.
ah the cost-benefit analysis. hard to make them not sound cold-hearted
well that raises a lot of questions
Twilight has ascended beyond our mortal comprehensions!
it's a difficult thing for many writers to express, as it's so easy to have something off about the rhythm or scope. you do a beautiful job of it here. i feel as if i am falling through infinity with her.
aaaaaa
well i am now filled with emotions. (augh, the name, the age, "still having her parents", the clues were always there! i love this!)
ooh that is a fascinating wrinkle.
augh this just sent chills through me. amazing way to use the weight of the series finale by having this Twilight watch it with us. augh i just loved this
the question that so many of these worldbuilding bits have been swirling around! augh i am excited
the presence of Luna in the 600s did make me think that original rift between Sisters went differently here
ooh love this!
and augh, an entire civil war just to kill off enough ponies to power a blood sacrifice? that is very hardcore!
i guess the memory erasure the first time managed to leave some dormant subconscious traces...
love this entire monologue. again, it's easy for writers to overdo or underdo a passage like this, but i rather like how you've done this one.
ah, the "larger than average" unicorn that leapt from the Spire! the S.S.! and somehow the darkness and heaviness of all of this contrasted with the very light role that Sassy Saddles has in the canon, the absurdity of that contrast, there is something delectable there.
i'm reading this as Celestia's journal, fitting in with Luna's earlier mention of Celestia having withdrawn into a fragile mental state, and oof. i do not blame her for that!
you just had to twist the knife, huh? augh. now i wonder if i missed anything connecting Shining Armor's death to something bigger, or if it really was just a random train crash. but either way, augh.
poor filly Twilight.
i grew up with the American National Anthem, but it was always something to just sing and not think about the meaning behind the words. this reminds me of the first time i realized that the verses were referring to actual events instead of living purely in the realm of poetic metaphor.
in any case, wow. way to stick the landing on the dénouement!
like augh, the first half of the fic built up so much suspense and so many unsettling hints that it was hard to imagine the fic would manage to pay off all of them but it TOTALLY DID! like, wow, even the stuff i didn't even expect to pay off, it did, somehow? it was such an amazing reading experience thank you so much!
now i'm going to ramble a bit about the end because that was just so great! first we get Twilight's ending, gaining the knowledge she had sought out so desperately at the cost of her sanity and life, but with it something beautiful beyond that knowledge, which is a glimpse into a reality free from the horrific compromises that her world had been built atop of, a vision of life as it should be if the universe were not cruel. and as an adult human who has spent an absurd amount of time thinking about ponies these past two years, hoowee does that resonate with me.
and then the horrors of the compromise that this reality was built upon. nothing i can say here will match the poetry with which Sassy Saddles and Celestia described it, living as they are with the full weight of the horror on them, but wow. just so hauntingly grim, to match the grim end of Applejack and the unnamed stallion of decades ago and even the more mundane end of Shining Armor. the precarity of their false peace, the suffering literally buried in the past and the horrors that await.
and then the last two chapters! closing the loop on Twilight's ecstatic, mindless end with the last glimpse of her innocence as she unknowingly awaits to learn that her older brother has died and is gone forever. two cracks of light bookending a lifetime of darkness. then the national myth told through the Equestrian national anthem, letting the last peek we have of this world be seeing the entire nation and all that is based on through the lens that the filly Twilight would have had.
just fantastic stuff. i wish i could read more like this.