Cooks are nuts, and so are the mares who get involved with them. Anonymous knows this first-hand. As Head Chef at one of Ponyville's new restaurants, the human living in a world of ponies finds himself dealing with an unexpectedly discerning customer. What follows is a tale of sordid pasts, webs of lies, and most importantly, the love of food that brings people, and ponies, together.
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The most random characters as the main characters, let's see how this plays out.
Okay, not bad: the characters reacted and spoke the way they should, yet Anon seemed a bit anxious, probably character development there. Overall, for a flat story, not that isn't bad, it just means that not much was learned, and flat characters, the plot, not that plot, seemed to have been carefully watched...good job.
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Seems good so far to me. I've read fics with much shakier starts, so I think I'll keep my eye on it.
nice start even if there are some spelling errors and wrong words (him instead of his is the one i can remeber the most now.. i tend to forget the exact words very fast).. maybe get a proofreader or two if you havent already
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The sad part is that I HAVE a proofreader. The his/him switch has been fixed. Thanks for pointing it out.
1237874
i know that feeling.. the proofreaders for my translations are either dumb enough to say to my face "i thought you would edit it some other time" or dont have the "time" to read it while playing online games..
but there is always the possibility that yours just over read the mistakes and that can happen to everyone
A very nice start and the characters are very well done, but the giant walls of text really urked me
. However this has potential and i'm interested to see how the story progresses 
I had to go back and double check the characters for the story. Mayor Mare is on that list... so does that mean there might be a brief something between them? Or just a small character to character bonding moment that might result in a platonic friendship? Oh and... It was a work of art. A gift from his teacher in Canterlot, it was specially made for you. POV switch there. POV can be hard to keep track of right?
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Fixed. I AM converting this from a second-person version that I wrote last year, so yeah, that'll happen now and again. Thanks for pointing it out.
And I'm not entirely sure what you mean with the first half of your comment. The Mayor's referred to several times in this chapter. She just doesn't herself appear in it. She featured fairly significantly in chapter 1 and I thought I'd laid out her nickname fairly clearly here in this chapter.
2973238 I'm just trying to figure out if the Main Character and Mayor Mare will be friends and exchange cooking tips, have a brief fling, or get settled in for some serious romance. I don't think I've seen many Mayor MarexHuman stories before.
Simply adore this. Tis good tis good