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Flutterpriest


I wrote hoers (Ko-Fi/Patreon)

T

Equestria is a pretty wonderful place. Until it comes to dairy products. Then it's a new sort of hell. Here is how they do milk. Based on Real Events.


Part of the B_25 vs Flutterpriest 24 Hour Writeoff
Reading by FireRain

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 45 )
Rottybops #1 · Feb 2nd, 2019 · · 17 ·

I'm going to be that guy.

FIRST.

Alex_ #5 · Feb 2nd, 2019 · · ·

This was awful and you should be dairy ashamed.

Wow so much nostalgia right here, I can't even remember the last time I had bagged milk but it was a thing during my childhood.
That and actual milk from from farmers where it tended to have this skin like flakes in it, I dunno what's its called.

Can you even buy bagged milk these days?

9435516
Yes! depending where you live.

Way to milk it for all it's worth, my man!

Huk

This reminds me of a story I heard, about some drunk guy who accepted a challenge to drink the milk directly from cow’s udders... :unsuresweetie:

I can't believe you actually did this. You absolute madman.

Pencil's gonna flip a godamn table.

My old Elementary school in Superior, Wisconsin used milk like that. It got such a neat variety of flavours, mostly depending on the time of year. Regular, chocolate, orange, mint, root beer... That last one was my favorite. :pinkiecrazy:

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

STATEMENT: DUCKING CANADA! THE ONE THING I DON'T LIKE ABOUT CANADA AND YOU WROTE A STORY ABOUT IT!!!

This was funny. Until the "man-milk" bit, that kind of grossed me out (and not the fun entertaining kind of grossed-out). This probably needs a "sex" tag.

Milk should NOT come in bags. In the Navy, I had to refill the dispenser in the mess hall. Giant, floppy, awkward, heavy ass bag of milk. Naturally, it slipped through my grasp just as I was about to put it in the machine. The explosion as it hit the floor was like a milk Nagasaki. Clearly, bags are evil.

I knew those Canadians were too kind. Just when I start to believe otherwise, they show this. Bagged milk should be illegal and be classified as an object of torture and should be included in the list of illegal items in the Geneva Convention.

9435629
The milk in the bag has been disappearing but (to my knowledge) in Mexico there are three brands of milk that sell it in a bag; Lacdel, Liconsa and El cencerro, before there was more than selling it like this, but when the companies grew they stopped packing in a bag and started to pack it in a box, but before it was very common.

At McDonald's, our milk(nonfat and whole), creamer, orange juice, and various other drinks stuffs come strictly in bags and we have to change it constantly and it's a nightmare carrying those big, unwieldy monstrosities from the fridge all the way up front, only to stick it into a box. It constantly feels like you're one shift of the hand away from losing a job.

Hello Canadians!

Set

That last scene was fucking cruel and hilarious i love it

it takes a lot of cowrage to post something so udderly silly as this.

Hehe, upvote number 69.

Well. Canada is weird.

Does anyone think that Andrea Libman has ties to Canada if she isn't Canadian herself?

9462861
so is everywhere

9450035
I'm so torn right now. I want to upvote this for its horror, but it's so horrible I want to smash that dislike.

9440832
Of all the comments here, those puns make yours the cream of the crop.:pinkiehappy:

Wait wait wait if they don't have plastic then what the fuck are the bags made out of?

I have never understood why Americans freak out so much at the sight of bagged milk.

We're American and don't see a problem with bagged milk. Heck, soda comes in a bag too! Though really, it should be a bag in a box for stability during transport.

Lol, i actually expected twi to drink the other one look at anon as he went, "cum. Its cum. Theyre both cum. I rigged it"

9536721
soda in bags? hows it not flat, they perfectly seal every last bag?

9863819
It's syrup, not the finished product. The carbonated water gets added just when you want to drink it.

9863833
Really? That's cool!

“Milky Way has the,

Oh god. :rainbowlaugh:

9435516
I was very surprised to find out that this was even unusual.

9437855
At half-price, I'll take that risk. (Citation: 4L of milk split across three bags is almost exactly the cost of a 2L carton)

Whenever I go and buy milk, there are only bags. I have lived with bagged milk my entire life, so I thought the story was going to be about drinking milk straight from the bags.

9505844

Probably spider webs. Or pony foreskin. For elastic properties, you see. It won't break so easily that way!

10759619

Or pony foreskin.

:pinkiesick: OH MY GOD, PLEASE NO!
:fluttershbad: *vomits*

Stupid Twilight. You have been so tolerant. You stopped hiding Spike’s porn. You stopped hiding Spike’s comics. You stopped hiding Spike’s gems. You stopped tying up and hiding Spike. You’ve given Twilight SO MUCH of what brings you joy in this pathetic little world.

“Drink this and tell me if it went bad,” Twilight says, handing him the glass.

Spike shrugs and fucking downs it like a champ. He smacks his lips a bit.

“I dunno, Twilight. It’s a bit salty. I’d pitch it.”

He whistles a happy tune, taking his bowl of chocolate shame milk and walks out of the room.

“I’m going to tell him.”

“No, you won’t.”

“I’m definitely going to tell him.”

“... Please?” she asks softly.

“Nah. You’re fucked.”

“What can I do to make you not tell him?”

A wide smile grows on your lips as Twilight puts the bag of milk into the pitcher.

LOL! Poor Spike!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

A camp I worked at originally had cartoned milk, but randomly decided to transition to dispensers that loaded huge bags of milk. We (the camp staff) were not happy.

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