This is great. I’m going to get a good grade in horsefic, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,
Page generated in 0.101 seconds
Total duration
782 users online
651,321 hits today, 2,728,293 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Wait, who is Daniel Danger?
9120518
The artist who painted the cover image. I've posted a link to his website in the description where you can view his other works and purchase prints.
I am in no way affiliated with Daniel Danger's work, I was simply inspired by this piece and felt it should be included.
Well that was an interesting start......I wonder what happened between Rainbow, Rarity, and the others. I'll have to stay tuned and find out...
Alright, your story has its hooks embedded in me. A very promising start. Looking forward for chapter 2.
9120961
There is definitely much to come!! Thanks for your interest, my friend!
9122289
No problem .
9121474
Hahaha that's the goal! I'm hoping to post once a week, and I'm a few chapters ahead as it is. Hope you stick with it and enjoy!!
Ugh. Babe.
Oh yeah, that's exactly how canon Rarity would mentally respond. I'm glad you understand how these characters function.
On another note, the presence of an abusive relationship is obvious. This is a difficult topic to write about because oftentimes authors make the abuser seem like a mustache twirling villain. I hope that you're leaning towards something more realistic and gradual.
Anyway, flawless chapter. See you next week.
9131495
I appreciate the kind feedback!! I pride myself on good characterization, so it means a whole lot
Unfortunately, I've had enough personal experience with emotionally manipulative and abusive relationships that Nightwhisper's character should be firmly founded in reality. He hasn't really had his chance in the spotlight yet... But I don't think you'll be disappointed!!
True.
In what Dash?
9146573
They're good gals!! I make myself misty sometimes
9146577
Of course you do.
I feel like this is all somehow a metaphor or an 'emotional journey', and Rainbow is actually dead or something. Not sure. All I am sure of is that I'm enjoying the crap out of it. Keep it up.
Well, that explains it. I had a feeling it was either gonna be a wrinkle in time, or there would be a big sign on the front of the shopping center reading: 'Welcome to Silent Hill'.
Really, well done. The atmosphere you've created feels real. I feel just as confused as Rarity is, but with just enough extra information to keep me engaged. It's interesting and addictive.
I keep thinking back to the Missing flier and the GODDESS poster, trying to figure out their significance. And why a shopping center? I feel like it represents limbo -- touched by the passing of time, yet untouched by the hands of man, er... hooves of pony. And I keep thinking about layers. Is it layers of time? Reality? There are different versions of the shopping center. What do they mean?
I don't know. You got me hooked. Keep it up.
9162690
UGH you and I are so on the same wavelength here it's bananas.
Obviously, I can neither confirm nor deny any of your theories... But I WILL say that you've hooked onto the main theme here SO WELL OMFG
I am THRILLED that you picked up on all the little things I've been laying down. There is certainly more to come... I'll categorize it as one reveal and two big twists.
Glad I've got you hooked!! My life is a tad hectic right now and while I do have a reliable few minutes to write everyday, it's just that: a few minutes. I'm inching my way through part II so I can toss it up here asap though stick around, and allllll of your questions will be answered....
9162743 Glad I could pick up so much. Been editing for years so I've gotten a good eye for picking up what the writers trying to get across.
And take your time, man. A rushed story usually leaves a tired writer, and that's not good for anyone. I'll be here, waiting for the updates. Might do a more in depth analysis if I get time. Certainly a lot to pick apart and even more to theorize on.
Keep up the good work. I'll be waiting, my friend.
True and wise words Rarity...true and wise words.
So Blue knows who RD and Rarity are....
Also, wow, this Nightwhisper guy sounds like a really creepy asshole. Don't tell me that Rarity's actually dating this guy?!
9216911
She is... Unfortunately, people like that tend to reel in gals like Rarity VERY easily. Her giving nature and motherly attitudes would naturally draw her towards a guy she felt she could "help" or "fix" or "take care of." Lots of times, the abuser can keep it rolling until they get bored. In cases of clever girls with a good backup (like Rares with RD), they need to start to exercise control over the abused in order to keep them doing what the abuser feels they "need" or "deserve." This is where Rarity is-- up until now, she was in a relationship that was low-grade crappy, lots of giving on her part but none on his. Now that she's galavanting about with Rainbow though... Nightie's feeling a tad threatened.
It's bad news bears, y'all.
Also, you are like the world's greatest speedreader congrats
9216926
Yes well...not all people/ponies like that can be saved.
He should be! RD isn't known as the Elements of Loyalty for nothing!
Well...I do read notices like these pretty fast.
That's the Element of Loyalty for you right there Rares....
She can Rarity...she can....
Don't say that, of course are!
.
.
9241076
Once again, speediest reader award goes to you!!
As always, you've pulled out arguably the most important quotes from this chapter with ease... I think people could figure out the entire plot just by reading your comments!
Thanks for sticking around. I hope I don't disappoint!
9241086
No problem. And don’t worry, you did not disappoint in any way shape or form!
mushroom, I will steal one sock from every pair you have
9272706
I mean the sock thing will be annoying but can it truly heal your pain?
No.
Damn it, the On Hiatus tag is haunting me...
9274984
Hahaha sorry friend! Gotta get through this semester before I can keep going on this beast. In the meantime, I'm working on something more light-hearted when I need a break from studying. Mark my words: come the holidays, it'll be back to the dreary threshold of adventure...
Maybe you do, maybe you don't...but in the situation your in...it's probably the latter.
Oh no.
Rarity run...that's all I'm gonna say, bucking RUN!!!
You are not in control of anypony!!! Especially not Rarity!!!
You son of a...!!!
These are more than facts Rarity, they are reality...and here, it is all too real.
The Element of Generosity!
Yes, you are...and you'll be alive for many days to come.
Yes, he did.
And that makes it all the more sweeter.
Exactly Rainbow!
None at all.
Oh no!!!
Together!!!
9360562
My favorite reader returns!!
Sharp as always, you've picked out the best parts. Though, I have to say, I don't think I've ever seen you so stirred up.... Touhed a nerve, have I, darling?
9363543
Eeyup, you sure have...well, at least with the part where we see Rarity's boyfriend. I seriously wanted to jump through a portal where he was and Kamehameha his ass to the other side of Equestria!
Here is your review.
Ok the begin was a bit dizzying for me, but I'm hooked, ONWARD!
All of your story tags give me a real sinking feeling about how all this is going to play out. I don't know if my feels are ready for the abuse....
9376501
9376525
It's true! An exceptionally good detective (who didn't mind hunches and leaps of faith) could fill in some missing pieces from the tags alone... The only thing they might not be able to guess, however, would be the end! Happy? Sad? Open-ended? Devestatingly final?
All the puzzle pieces may fit together in an unexpected way. Never forget the parable of the blind men and the elephant: obvious facts on a small scale can often manifest quite differently when understood from a greater perspective.
I guess what I'm saying is that I still have some tricks up my sleeve... And there's still quite a few gravely important questions my readers haven't dug up yet! Perhaps you'll be the one to catch something new...
You probably should, she could be anywhere.
Well, neither is your place Rares......especially with him.
Of course not! You and I both know that after what happened, that'd be the last place she'd wanna have lunch! I know I wouldn't!
Well, you know Dash Rarity...once she's locked onto something, especially if it means protecting her friends, it is nearly impossible to get her to back down from it.
I'm sure she doesn't Rarity.... Then again, this is Dash we're talking about.
You've got this Rares! You got this good! And with Dash, you've got it even better!
Don't let them push you down Rarity! Stand tall!
Maybe not physically, but mentally and maybe physiologically. I've seen my fair share of what dreams can do to a pony.
Or the dreams...and the fear.
.
Oh dear Faust, she's so close to losing it!
If it's not, than that is a big red flag!
You...don't remember the name?
Had?
Hmmm...does a mayor usually run three buildings? If its more, than, I think that's another red flag.
No.... It cant be...!
Don't tell me, please don't tell me!!!
So many questions with so many answers...and none of them are pleasant.
In the face of a pony so sweet and innocent...that's about one of the hardest things you can do...along with the fear of how it'll affect them for years to come.
They say the truth will set you free...and ignorance is bliss...one may sound better than the other, but neither is easy to decide.
And which is the better decisions? From how this is, neither is good, and both are bad.
She's trying to look for a dear friend of her's...give the poor mare a break.
It should be, how else are you going to find her?
Don't think she's crazy Rainbow!
Well...at least she didn't call her crazy.
She is?! So...oh no...please no.
Well...maybe its not silly in this case.
It would mean she disappeared before she got it, thus making it a bit harder for her to find. if she did have her Cutie Mark, it would be easier, but since she doesn't....
No you haven't.
It just means that they're late bloomers.
Well there's a new saying!
Probably not.
Cause that'd be really bucked up!!!
Maybe not, but. the most seasoned investigators would be able to detect little pieces that do show that it was. The question is...what and where?
It's start at least.
Yeah, and which pony was the last one that saw her alive. One of the many things detectives do is speak to the person who last saw the person that vanished...questioning their involvement, whereabouts, what they were doing at the time of the disappearance, etc.
Oh...My...Faust......
9377743
Ah! It looks like someone finally spotted a buried clue...
9377856
Sure did......the prime suspect in the disappearance of Moss is standing right under RD and Rare's noses...literally!
Good job. It looks like you took in some of the advice from the review. Rarity is definitely sounding in character here. Hopefully, we get some answers to these questions being raised and see/hear about more instances of time going screwy and things have happening just the other next week when foals are dying of old age in a ghost town that was just constructed.
9377872
Yup! I started my writing session by rewatching "Rarity Investigates" hahaha. I'm already working back through the older chapters to improve characterization and expand a bit on the dreamlike sequences, as they can make things a bit confusing.
Thank you so much for your review! It is actively improving this fic
Quick question, over how many days has threshold taken place so far?
9381359
I starts on a Thursday, and has gone up to Sunday. So this chapter would be day four!
...I'm a little scared to ask, but why?
9381366
Just writing an example of how I gauge pacing. You can find it here.
9381490
No way, that's so cool! I've never seen calculations like that, but they really do distill the pacing of a story pretty conveniently. Neat! (And thanks for the rec )
9381514
If you want, you can take what I wrote and make a post on The Writing Process about how to do pacing. You probably know how to phrase it better than what I was doing but the main idea is that in a story, no matter what the pace is, there needs to be enough plot significant things happening to engage the reader but not so much that you overstimulate the reader.
More or less awful but still awful nonetheless.
Hold it in Rarity...don't give any indication to Moon what you know!!!
No it's not...now, its the fear OF Moss!!!
More like they look like they've seen the most vile of all murderers!!!
Get out of there!!!
Don't leave Rares behind RD! I do not wanna have a repeat of The Last Roundup!!!
Most of the time.
Except Rainbow Dash!
Dash....
Could not have said it better myself Dash!!!
Eeyup.
In the situation you're in, I'd feel the same way....
You know RD so well Rares.
If you cant even give to yourself, or take time for yourself, how can you do the same for others?
I'd like to think she's stress eating...like in Inspiration Manifestation....
I bet everypony at Wonderbolt HQ does!!!
It really does.
!!!
Well, figuring out what Blue Moon did to Moss and find where her body is. Then, getting Blue tried for her actions.
It's possible...criminals do tend to sometimes change their names to further escape capture...even going so far as to change their appearances...Deadly Women has certainly proven that much.
Sometimes...all the info you need can be found at the very scene of the crime.... Not only that, sometimes it doesn't even take a rocket scientist to know what happened, and if it was staged.
With what you're trying to solve you probably should.
Dash, what're you hiding?
Or else I'm gonna bring the Kamehameha wave all up in this bitch and send you to the other end of Equestria!
Tell us!
Eyes that so desperately want to spill the beans, yet the heart refuses to allow it.
Wait WHAT?!
Oh boy....
Sorry Dash...you had you chance to tell. Now Rarity will find out...and so will I.
Where in the hay are they?
...Who is that?
Wait a minute...! 'Make a Wonderbolt out of you yet?!'
...
No...do not tell me! Please tell me that's not who I think it is!
What about original songs, made up for this story? Are those in this story?
9387198
Hi Starlight Nova,
This isn't exactly an "original song" kind of story, which you might sense had you read any of it. This is also the second comment you've made on this particular fiction based only on information written in the description (and the fourth overall on stories posted to my account). I'd really rather not have this kind of thing cluttering my comment sections, as they are not discussions of the actual content I've written-- merely off-topic remarks which are either designed to garner attention for yourself or dig around for fetish content on stories not even rated mature (refer to this comment on my own teen-rated fiction).
I've shown remarkable restraint so far in not blocking you. It is not my job to provide an FAQ to you for each one of my fictions. If you have a question regarding content, please read it. There are more than enough content warnings in the tags and description. If you have further questions, I would rather you PM me than clutter my comment section.
Thank you,
Mushroom
9386940
media.giphy.com/media/yr7n0u3qzO9nG/giphy.gif
9387456
I take it that means I found another clue?