Seraphimus sat alone in the wagon atop the mountainous ridge.
The Herald shuffled briskly downhill in a solid train. Garbed in plates of green-tinted armor that reflected the twilight, they approached the edge of the parallel—right where the glass plate lay dormant.
The griffin took a deep breath. Despite the obvious consternation forming feathered lines in her face, she nevertheless craned her neck left and right... squinting to make out what precisely was transpiring far below at the end of the cliff's slope.
"Guh..." Flynn grimaced, shaking his rear legs a few extra times between every other step. The armor rattled around his thin figure, and the visor of his helmet kept sliding down. "Goddess dammit! Rrggh...!" With a telekintic burst, he snapped the ancient visor off his helmet completely, giving him an unobstructed view of the wild landscape ahead. "Ahhh... much better."
Behind him, Logan grunted: "Don't be pissing away all my hard work, now."
"Relax, Big Show," Flynn grumbled, approaching the glass plane. "Wouldn't be right to use the old Emeraldinians' stuff if I didn't truly appreciate it."
"You're telling me to relax?" Logan's brow furrowed. "You're the one squirming all around like you've got soggy pancakes down your pants."
"Forgive me if I'm not exactly... used to cold metal chaffing."
"How do you think I feel?" Logan spat. "I'm weighing like a friggin' tank in this thing!"
"Dude, you're always a tank."
"What does that make you? A sling-shot?"
"Very funny."
"Actually, no, not funny," Ariel rasped from overhead. She flew limply with a frown, putting extra-effort into lifting her armored body. "Could you cut it out? We've got some serious business to do here."
"Everypony relax," Rainbow Dash said, trotting in the center of the group. "We've only got a thick sea of squirming death tentacles to tame and fly over. Let's not snap at each other's necks, okay? Besides, we'd crack a tooth on account of the armor."
Wildcard gestured something.
"Hrmmmmfff..." Logan responded with a heated breath. He reached the edge of the "forest" and leaned against his heavy axe. "Straight lines aren't as easy as they used to be, Double-Yoo. But... we just might be able to afford the next best thing here."
"My starrs and garrterrs..." Kepler had been hunched over this entire time, but upon reaching the clearing in the sea of stalks, he practically crawled on his thinly-plated belly. The armor around his figure rattled as he studied the glass plate up close. "It is just as Rranorrt had spoken about!" The wyvern adjusted his spectacles and tapped the edge of the glass plate with his claws. "Positively immaculate! Afterr all of these yearrs, too!"
"Well, what do you guys think now that you're seeing it up close?" Ariel asked. "Can it be enchanted?"
"Once upon a time, maybe it could have been," Flynn said. The tip of his horn was glowing outside his helmet as he scanned the environment before him. "But that was a long... long time ago, and who knows who actually manufactured this thing."
"Or if they're still hanging about somewhere," Logan added.
Flynn gave a nod. "Right."
"Rranorrt speaks of unidentified flying objects spotted by Warrhol's team," Kepler said. "Vessels of geometrrical simplicity... constrructed out of trranslucent materrial, much like this one. I'm afrraid that none of Gwen's forrces werre capable of meeting the trrue pilots of these airrcrrafts face to face."
"But..." Rainbow Dash looked at the glass plate, then up at Kepler. "...it was an aircraft."
"I honestly cannot fathom just what else this thing could have belonged to," the wyvern said. "If it was simply deposited herre as a means of clearring this unsightly wilderrness, I cannot say that it is doing that fine of a job!"
"So... it was dropped here," Ariel said. "But—lucky for us—it might give the wagon the boost it needs."
Wildcard gestured.
"Wildcard wants to know how we're gonna pull this shit off," Logan grunted. "And while we're at it—so do I."
"Sure thing." Rainbow nodded, then looked at Flynn. "Flynn?"
"Grnnngh... right..." Flynn took off his helmet so he could breathe better. Sweat lined his bald forehead under the twilight. "So... I've brought with me some extra rocks for hover-enchanting."
"Huh?"
"The same thing we did to the Hover Plank 5000 we're going to do to this right here." Flynn gave the top of the glass plate a hoof-tap for emphasis.
"Soooooooo..." Ariel squinted. "...we're going to have an even bigger wagon?"
"No no no no no..." Flynn shook his head. "I don't even remotely have enough to make that happen. Instead..." He turned and pointed at the Curveside edge of the plate. "...if we apply just enough of the rocks to the furthest foundation of the plate and enchant its leylines, then we can get that half of the glass plane to levitate up off the ground. The rest of it will stay dormant. I'm expecting us to end up with a ramp that's tilted no less than fifty-five degrees off the earth."
Wildcard nodded, then gestured.
"Sounds simple enough, eh?" Flynn shook his head. "Sorry to break it to you, buddy. This thing looks like it weighs a ton. Even still..." He took a deep breath. "...I should be able to lift just the corners of it. It'll take all of my mental concentration to manipulate something this large with my telekinesis. The rest will be up to you."
"We'll be slapping the enchanted rocks and dust in place, right?" Rainbow Dash said.
"Uh huh. Then—once we've applied it to both corners and sporadic spots along the Curveside edge, I can enchant the leylines. The ramp should then lift up on its own, propelled by the "hover" spell."
"How long will it be tilted up like that?" Ariel asked.
"Not for long," Flynn said with a sigh. "We'll only have a window of... ten minutes at best. That should be long enough for us to give the Hoverplank a shove and ride it down to glory."
"In other words..." Logan's eyes narrowed. "We only get one shot."
"Right." Flynn nodded. "Better not buck it up."
Awkward silence.
"Well!" Kepler slapped his talons together and smiled at the group. "All the morre incentive to do ourr best! Ha-Hah!"
Rainbow gulped. "We're forgetting one thing..."
"Right. The hard part," Flynn remarked.
Logan glanced aside. "These damned death vines."
Flynn's natural eye reflected the gently waving sea of stalks that densely flanked three sides of the flat plate. "To apply the enchanted rocks to the underside of this plate, we're going to have to get uncomfortably close to these buggers."
"Well, at least we're wearing armor!" Ariel remarked.
"The armor won't do shit if more than one of these things grab you," Flynn exclaimed, hissing. "I've seen some of the biological journals sketched in the heart of Darkreach. The probisci of these creatures are stronger than whale bone. If you get lasso'd by one of them, it'll be a struggle just to keep your limbs in tact. Goddess knows how shitty it'd be if you become dinner to multiple stalks at once."
"None of that matters," Logan grunted. "Only one thing does."
"What is that, frriend?" Kepler asked.
Schiiiing! Logan raised his axe and approached the edge of the forest. "Can we kill 'em?"
"Ach! But of courrse."
"Hold it right there, Big Show." Rainbow Dash blocked his way. "Don't go charging into the death weed. That'd make for a lame obituary."
"What am I, stupid?" Logan smirked, then nodded his head at the organic mess. "I'm not about to commit salad seppuku. I just need to see what these things are made of."
"And how do you plan to do that?!" Ariel exclaimed.
"Hmmmmm..." Kepler stroked his hairy chin. "Perrhaps if he werre to test the strrength of just one of these inferrnal living vines."
"Sooooooooooooo... what, then?" Rainbow Dash blinked. "We thread one out from the rest of the group?"
"Sounds good to me," Logan said.
"But how?"
Logan looked over at Wildcard. "Double-Yoo? Got something to throw at these shits?"
Wildcard nodded, producing a few daggers that he had gathered from Darkreach.
"If you plan on tossing that into the wilderness, it's not going to have the desired effect," Flynn said. "You saw how these things acted earlier. They just lash out at whatever's thrown at them."
"So, we just have to figure out how to annoy only one," Logan said. "Since you're about to put your brain to extra epileptic use, what say we exercise your telekinesis a bit?"
Flynn sighed. He reached magically for one of Wildcard's daggers and levitated it high in the air. "Where do you want me to kite it?"
"Towards me, duh." Logan slapped the visor of his helmet down and tightened his grip of the axe. "And you'd better lure just one of those things down here!"
"I wouldn't dream of doing otherwise," Flynn droned.
"The rest of you back off!" Logan hollered, his armor rattling from the authority in his voice. "This is my time to work!"
"You... uh..." Rainbow hesistantly backtrotted along with Ariel. "...you sure you know what you're doing, guys?"
"Probably not." Flynn squinted his one good eye as he floated the dagger outward... upward... and towards the very edge of the living forest. "Okay... okay... getting there..."
"Have you spotted one of them yet or not?" Logan asked.
"Just hold onto your butt!" Flynn took a deep breath. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand... antagonize!"
He jabbed the dagger forward from long-distance, poking savagely at a single vine along the fringes of the sea of stalks. Despite how many times he poked and prodded, the wavering structure refused to budge.
"Come onnnnnn..." Flynn licked his lips as his horn glowed brighter with the effort. "Tickle tickle! Tickle tickle—"
Thw-THWPP! At last, the vine shot out a long red "tongue" that looped three times around the dagger.
"Got it!" Flynn gnashed his teeth as he pulled and yanked down at the object with all his mental might. "Rnnnnnngh!"
"Don't slice it!" Logan barked, gripping his axe as he eyed the stalk being "reeled in" from a distance. "Don't slice it or we might lose it—!"
"It's okay..." Flynn hissed. Snorted. "It's... grnnngh... grabbing the hilt!" As the telekinetic energy reached a boiling point, Flynn felt himself sliding forward on scuffed hooves. "Hoooboy—"
"Wildcard!" Rainbow barked.
Thwooosh! Wildcard flew forward. Wrapping a metal arm around the stallion's armored body, he successfully anchored Flynn in place.
"You should have it now, brrotherr!" Kepler proclaimed.
"Here it comes!" Rainbow Dash pointed as the long stalk shook, thrashed, but was eventually dragged down to head-level like a wriggling fish out of water. "It's getting within reach!"
"It's now or never, Big Show!" Ariel hollered.
"Happy New Year—!" And Big Show swung his axe down savagely.
CHTIIIIINK! The stalk snapped in an instant from the slicing blow. Almost immediately, a hot curtain of crimson juices splattered across Ariel's, Kepler's, and Rainbow Dash's gasping faces.
Flynn and Wildcard grimaced.
"Hey!" Logan lifted his visor up, revealing a smirk. "It even bleeds! Cool!"
Rainbow and her two fellow Heraldites stood awkwardly in place, thoroughly strained. Before them, the severed stalk flipped and flopped around before finally curling up into a hardening coil of dead organic matter.
"Okay... on second thought..." Ariel whimpered. "Go ahead and feed me to the forest. I just lost my appetite. Forever."
"A most educating experrience," Kepler remarked, beginning to wipe the blood from his glasses.
"Well..." Rainbow Dash shuddered, observing her soaked armor. "...at least we know we can kill 'em. Logan? Proceed with Operation Weed Whacker." A few seconds later, Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. She looked towards the space at her right. "No, Fluttershy, I don't actually believe that the 'poor thing' felt that. An if it did... then jee-jee... cuz I don't want to live in a universe where something like THAT has feelings..."
"Oh hey, we got ketchup for that nasty bland bleakweed now!"
Also, this chapter title brought to you by Lady Macbeth.
If it bleeds, we can kill it
Lewd
If it bleeds you can kill it.
Edit1:Damnit 8408168 you beat me to the punch.
Blood knight Logan.
I'd feel the same way honestly.
At least it didn't shriek as it died.
-Through the path long forgotten, into the darkness long begotten. Ofolrodi.
These have gotta be chaos powered. No way anything this big and violent can live out here in flank-fudge nowhere, and yet maintain such a huge population without some major mojo going on.
gg 10/10 would slice again -IGN
Silly Rainbow Dash, stupid plans are the best plans.
Well, it can be killed, so that means with enough patience they can basically hack their way through the forest.......Lets call that plan F. As in 'F this'.
Iron within, become iron without. Blood! For the Blood God!
8408159
How many did you eat?
Four loaves, you say?
I guess you could say she lost her appetite in the heat of the moment!
Ehehehehehe...
I'll leave.
But on another note:
I feel like this is referencing something. Either that, or I really like the dialogue.
Salad seppuku. That sounds like a punk rock album.
Also, here's hoping there's nothing toxic about the blood of these things.
Also also, what are the chances it's edible?
Ohhh they bleed, that's quite interesting. I wonder if they are edible and if so would Rainbow consider them plants or animals?
Jee-jee?
But how does it taste???
8408312
Vegan goth music?
Well, at least we know for definite we can kill those damn tentac-er, I mean stalks!
And I am reminded just why I like this guy!
Plot twist: The stalks belong to one single organism and it is not too pleased to see its extensions being cut off.
And the members of the Herald are standing on the ramp, directly above the waiting maw of the creature. Who said that you cannot tilt the ramp downwards?
Squee, accurate horse behavior.
8408478
I've seen enough clop to know where this is going.
Rainbow Dash has been thinking too much of Butterfly?
Were using What? to continue?
(Digimon Season 1 Japanese Ending.)
8408394
GG
8408686
Yeah, but what's the acronym it represents?
Good gosh?
Good going?
I don't see what fits in context.
So I take it the stalks really do only attack things directly above them - given how Rainbow seems to assume one could get in meelee range of their main stems. In that case they'd still need to cut quite the sizable swath into the forest, just to make sure the waggon has attained sufficient height by the time it's flying over them. How high were they again, a hundred feet?
At least they can be killed...
So they aren't plants at all, since plants don't have blood.
...
If this forest turns out to be a single organism, like Pando, then they could have a nasty problem trying to eliminate it. What good does it do to kill a single stalk, if the organism is just going to grow them back?
8409169
like Pando, it probably takes a while to grow each stalk.
If it shrivels and dries so quickly, I'm guessing it's not a source of food.
8409169
IC has not called it blood, at least not yet, though he probably will. So far, it is "crimson juice," which one could explain away with high iron content or heavy pigmentation.
Being a plant does not preclude the possibility or presence of "blood," so to speak. Trees absorb water through their roots and draw it up throughout their trunks via capillary action.
More importantly, though, let's analyze the more fundamental distinction between plant and animal, other than cell structure, of course.
Animalia acts in the presence of food to obtain its food. Plantae reacts to stimulus from potential food, whether the stimulating presence be a fly disturbing the hyper-sensitive hairs on a venus fly trap's jaws by touch or air currents... or a dagger floating merrily within range of the wild nope rope's sensory organ(s)'s perception.
They could react to air currents, obstruction of light (what little there is), radiant or convective heat, magic energy, capacitance, vibrations, motion, or other perceivable dynamics in their environment.
Of course, it really is more likely that they are a form of mollusk. I merely want to point out a possibility.
8409259
My thoughts exactly.
What if the 'blood' was collected from the lifeforms food source?
Welp, they might be soaked with blood, but it's better it's blood than their own! There is always a bright side to things, even when you are covered in that nasty liquid.
"Big Show was killed fighting a building sized carnivorous chaos plant." No, that sounds like the coolest way to die since the last time Rainbow did.
8408220
7.8 out of 10 too much dark side.
I still don't understand why they haven't just tried setting these on fire
If it bleeds, it can die
Hey! They could build a juicer to clear a path. That way they could have fruit smoothies for the rest of the trip.
8408871
GG is a common phrase of goodwill in many online gaming communities meaning 'good game.' Seperate from being a good sport about things, the phrase has also acquired a contextual meaning, namely 'game over,' when referring to a change of circumstance.
Some lines make the whole chapter worth it.
8408871
Good Game, I quit.
Usually a form of a handshake at the end of a game. Here, it implies that RD doesn't want to live on this Ring with sapient murderplants anymore.
Then they are in good company with Rainbow.
10/24/2017
23:13 UTC
Imagine if those juices were poisonous...
Do NOT miss your chance.
Only Fluttershy would care if the MURDER WEED has feelings.