- Member Since 12th Mar, 2014
- offline last seen May 31st
The Blessed One
God created man; now it is man's turn to create works of art.
The Blessed One
Joined 12th Mar, 2014 ·
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uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/tumblr_ml6p4diusc1s7g80wo1_500.gif?w=650
thats a really fancy way to say threesome lol
menage a trois
FANTASTIC!!!! One of the best clopfics I've read in a while!
This was great, it's a good thing I didn't look at how many words it was before I started reading..
Hot damn. Bravo sir, bravo.
My good sir/ma'am, a most generous thank you is in order.
I have been DYING! for a good 2nd person reader insert of CC and F, and you have delivered the first of what i hope remain a glorius clop fic with slightly romantic plot (pun intended). I await the (hopefully) next chapter with vigor!
PS grammar be damned, you rock!
PS #2 Now if only i could find a Aloe and Lotus (spa twins) story like this!
Edit: i accidentally said "my god sir/ma'am" instead of "good", lol funniest mistype in a looong time!
Edit #2: i will probably post a second comment on my full thoughts once my head clears up. Yes, i really just went THERE with this edit.
Red vs. Blue? No one says that, it's Blue vs. Red.
5916049 I am sorry... But no matter how hard I try, I cannot be sure of what this means...
5916059 You'll find that I don't use most words you are used to. I tend to use the most proper forms of anything.
5916320 Thank you very much, Mr Jaxonian.
5916667 Originally, it was never meant to be this long, and thank you for the kind words.
5916920 Thank you very much, Mr Ascendent.
5917527 I'll have you know, that it is people like you that I wrote this for. I had gone looking for a 2nd person story with our two Pegasus sisters, and found none. So, I decided one needed to be made. I thank you for all of the gracious complements, and I will be making a few more chapters. I am a sir, as well, good lad.
5917628
...... I am not sure if I should trust you, (Mainly due to your profile picture) but I'll "fix" it anyway.
5917802
5916667
concerning what sparks said.
The 10k+ words is actually WHY i read this the second i saw it xD. I love long clop fics, they tend to have better plot (good lord), better description, and are more entertaining all around.
-----------------------------
Anyway, i believe i promised a full review once i came down off my high(and there i go again with that)
-----------------------------
Does this story have a comedy tag? If not, it needs one, i had almost rolled off the bed laughing due to the his leg incidents alone.
The reasoning you had for him snooping around was at least REASONABLE, most authors just have them snoop for no reason, in this one your bored to the point you have nothing else to do... And i love it, sets up so many opportunities for stupid and or funny stuff, as well as plot (in sexy lingerie).
CC's reason for being home early made me laugh at his (or should i say 'our'?) luck, then there's the position Flitters gonna find them in, i can see the anger, hurt, betrayal over CC having sex with the stallion shes interested in right now. The foreshadowing with the diary is just great cause it is so what you would expect Flitter to have, and supports my previous sentence. The way you have us react to CC's odor is such a glorious kink idea, even evolving into panty (or was it thong?) licking!
And finally, i absolutely love the fact you dragged out the leg clear to the end all the way through the sex, most would drop it and not bother with mentioning it again. You even used it for a legitimate reason for us to last so long!
I may comment more if i feel the need or see any absurd errors.
-Eon
PS, did you know that if you refresh the comments, not the whole page just the comments, the authers comments turn green instead of being purple? It's interesting.
5917922 You must really, really like this! I am glad you do. I will address all that you said in your comment, mainly because I review many new stories, so being thorough is a habit of mine.
As far as the addition of the Comedy tag goes, you answered why I think I can't put it there: Flitter's reaction to all that happened in this chapter. I'll ask people to tell me if I should put it on the story once it is finished.
I am proud of the fact that I try as hard as I can to give a logical explanation to "Your" actions. The wellsprings of human actions, are deep, and clouded. A pony is no different, so I did my best.
I had the idea's of how they acted just from looking at them, their bodies tell you how they act. So, Flitter looked like the kind of mare to have a book where she could release all the things that she can't just speak out, into it. As far as her reaction to what her sister has done? Well, I can't spoil anything...
Also, the scent "kink" was given to me by art of Cloudchaser I've seen. I searched pictures of both Pegasi for hours before I began writing this, and I found that there where lots of depictions of Cloudchaser going to the gym. Most Images did have her perspiring quiet a bit. So, I put it in the story.
I just plain old don't understand how any Author worth his salt (Pun intended) could do something like that. "Your" injury is the reason for the whole story, without that, there is none of this. How could a writer omit that?
As for the "lasting" part... well... your right, I did use it as an advantage to make it a better clop scene. I am glad you liked it.
Overall: The one thing I wish to say, is thank you. Thank you for All the kind words, I'll keep them in my mind as I write the next chapter.
Thank you for your encouragement, and have a blessed day, good lad.
P.S. No, I never knew about the comment color...
"Salophilia"?....
5918580 It's basically a "perspiration fetish."
5918655 omg , sweating is like my least favorite bodily function :c .....
I'm normally not one to read this kind of story, but Cloudchaser... I love Cloudchaser.
Finally a Cloudchaser fic with butt stuff! You win my heart!
Well.....This story made me feel quite....... heated
I need to change my underwear now.... 
not that bad of a story, good over all story to it, not a bad clop scene, and under-used characters, excellent work.
Ponies don't have pubic fur. But great clop non the less.
5919520 Sorry, that one was all on me. I just meant to convey the regular fur on the pubic area.
Dude, no one knows what this means. Why would you put it in there?
I had to google these things. Why not just write:
Because I'm 75% certain that all porn addicts know what these mean.
I wonder how Flitter will respond to this? tracking now!
5919543 My apologies for the confusion. I am a classical, traditional man, so I merely wished to refer to all of the acts by their proper, official terminology.
After all, the last thing I wanted to convey to the audience was that this was smutty in any sense. I conspire to write tasteful clop, not "Fifty Shades of Grey" style erotica.
5919581 Hahaha fair enough. I just found it a bit annoying to have to google half of those :/
Featured... my God... never once, in any fantasy or dream, did I ever believe that this story would earn this much love from the FIMFiction community.
I want to thank All of you for every single word of praise, every Like, and every Favorite this story has thus far received. Thank you to each and every one of you, for all that you have done.
From the bottom of my heart, Thank you, you all have made my entire Year.
Have a very blessed day, my wonderful readers.
5919543
Ménage à trois is french for Threesomes
5919618 Yeah I googled it
Nice.
Not repetitive. Good choice of words (it did feel like you were avoiding mentioning the typical genitalia words in clop) and its nice that you included more senses in the descriptions (smells but humidity too, and how it affect them like matted fur and such).
All in all, fresh and very enjoyable. I'll keep an eye on it.
5919618
In the roughest of translations, Ménage à trois means the work of three hahaha. I loved that I took French for five years. :D
5919590
Welcome to the Big Boys and Girls club! You now have some fame. =]
5918500 i just got the shit scared outa me. The literal second i finished reading your ps, my dog jumped on my back outa nowhere! I didn't even know she was in the bed, give a guy a fucking heart attack, am i right?!
Anyway, the comedy tag was just my thoughts on the read, then again, most things amuse me at least a little, so I may be over reacting a bit.
PS it's spelled colour, my god a friend pointed it out to me one day and ever since i can't stop correcting it.
5919699
Depends on the culture. If you're American, it's spelled "color". If you're from the UK, Australia, New Zealand, etc., you most likely spell it with a u. It's like recognize and recognise. Same deal, different conditions.
Oh no, they fell asleep. Poor Flitter is going to walk in them like that. She's going to feel so hurt.
5919716 oh i know, just most of the world uses a u, and like i said, it's stuck in my head at this point. Don't feel right when i don't say it. (Well type it in this case)
5919590 When this story first came out and saw it in he 'New Stories' box, It had one upvote and two downvotes. I never thought it would get featured, honestly. Yet, here it is in the third slot in the features box. You must be ecstatic! Congratulations dude.
5919716 New Zealand for the win!!!
Bravo. Simply bravo. If this is how the beginning chapter is, then I'm highly anticipating the rest, and I'm genuinely curious as to how you plan on implementing the rest of the listed fetishes.
This was very enjoyable, thank you! I like how there's about as much story as there is clop. I'm starting to appreciate that more lol
I cant wait for the next chapters.
This has earned 15/10 moustaches.
5919543 Okay, so, I was skimming comments and I just have to reply.
A) Everyone knows what that means
B) You kidding? Really? Salophilia is the only word in there that isn't super common. I assure you, "porn addicts" know exactly what most of those words mean.
5919716 I'm from the US, And I think spelling it as 'color' is idiotic, ironically enough.
5919720 nattstadcdn.com/3/800000/740000/737783/pics/201312132349124460737783_sbig.jpg
5919720 Hurt? This is a clop. She'll be angry that they had fun without her.
5919699 Color and colour are different spellings of the same word. Color is the preferred spelling in American English, and colour is preferred in all other main varieties of English. The distinction extends to all derivatives of the word. - source: Grammarist.com
What's the source of your cover art? It's typical practice to provide a link back to where you found the picture, whether it be on deviantart or elsewhere.
5921126 I honestly have no clue how I forgot to add that...
Thank you for reminding me.
5921185 No problem. You know, if you go and hit the Edit button for your story, there is an empty space for you to post the link for the cover art. When you do that, whenever someone drags their mouse across the art on your story, a little button will pop up in the bottom right hand corner with a link to the art.
5921193 Oh... I never knew about that, thank you again, Mr Abyss.
5919581
I wasn't sure about reading this story, but this comment has given me some hope for it. Guess I'll be finding out soon if it's well-founded.
Dang, this is just the first chapter and I'm already really liking where this story is going, keep up the great work!
rsmg.pbsrc.com/albums/v231/HiFiRaptor/mlfw8357-mlp_cliffhanger_zpsdeea5c50.jpg~320x480
I was triggered by your description of having to pay for medical care.
You watched with baited breath -- bated