Starin' Down That Wall · 6:00am March 31st
(Originally it was gonna be barrel, but that was a worrying title)
Hey folks, L-Bozo here
Kept you waiting, huh?
Bah, what'm I kidding, I've been dead so long it hardly counts!
Long story short, life's a bitch, and creativity ultimately comes secondary to sorting your shit out.
Picking up shifts like they're going out of style, fighting for hours- one hell of an economy we all live in, but we make do. All to save up...
Hey, least I'm stable, more than I can say for a lot of folks.
With time, basically, I've needed a little redo, or something like that. So there might be a swapping of branding here soon, to move forwards and free myself up to write. To be honest, my original intention was to make a new account and drop this one, but I figured that juicy 500 followers in the end, my only real fear is my own anxiety. And I ain't negotiating with terrorists!
Now, say, why make a blog? Are there stories coming?
Maybe, idfk, the muses are harsh mistresses, and generally things flow as they may.
I think with time, sometimes you just need a good purge. Going through the backlogs of life and finding the fat, and trimming it.
Often times, the parts that hurt you the most are yourself and your own thoughts, and with time all you can really do is get better at slapping yourself for it. S'What you're supposed to do when your friends are dickheads, aye?
To be honest my sleeping schedule is fucked and I slept during the day, and I'm awake for 8~ more hours before work starts, so I needed to do something productive but games were thoughts empty and writing was head empty.
... Alr maybe some stories are in-progress and I was getting myself all worked up on account logistics so I ended up going "FUCK IT" and writing this lmao. But there's also just the fact that I've needed to set the line in the sand for myself, and let myself know 'hey, it's alright.'
Be kind to yourself, it's all you can really do.
Not-quite-sleep-deprived-but-moreso-circadian-arythmic-ramblings aside...
See y'all soon
And hope 2024 is a solid year
Economy ain't great, but aside from living anxiety, most people seem to be doing better, at least
Already met the generosity of people around these parts. Some who aren't alive now. And that's brought some perspective
All you can really do, is keep going, and doing what you can. Don't let life steal away your time or your memory, let yourself live and support those who truly matter
To steal an excerpt from the author's notes of an ongoing project here- it's epilogue, that is...
“An ode to my past selves, and the new mask I wear with every waking day.”
“Here’s to you, Mr L, Mr B, Mr D, Mr A, and Mr J. I won’t stop writing. Not because it defines me, but because it is the skill I want to sharpen into a knife against eternity’s waves, to never give up and never let myself be forgotten, even as my old selves fade.”
See ya when I see you,
Soon to be rebranded, probably,
L-N
Now, I need some motherfucking espresso or I might pass out before work again.
BUT INSTEAD I'M BEING MELODRAMATIC TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER.
TO THE COFFEE MOBILE!
Danananana~
oh shit, welcome back, dude! great to see you're doing alright. sure wasn't expecting this, but i sure ain't complaining!
5774365
The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.
Not going to lie, I didn't remember who you were or why you were in my feed until I checked your stories. Then I saw the boops and all became clear .
Glad to see you skulking around once again.
5774391
I am the eternal enigma
I disappear for years then return to remind you of small, stupid, and inconsequential comedies
It's my superpower
5774403
That's actually not a bad superpower. Better than just the default "turn food into shit" that I ended up with .
You're welcome. (JK)
5777416
Let's go with that, that's totally what I meant lmao
(But in retrospect, also this)