Cry For Help: Update · 8:36pm February 17th
Goal Progress: 148% Edit: Make that 219%
You guys are amazing. Seriously.
I'm expecting Paypal's collectors to hound me a little more. The left hand and the right hand may not be speedy in talking to each other, and there's physical mail involved in this process, which slows everything else down. But they'll be hounding me while I have a positive balance to show, and that makes all the difference.
My Ko-Fi was going to be swapped back to "February Expenses," but honestly, I... think I'm actually going to be okay there, barring something sudden happening. All this extra, plus what's in my commission queue right now, and I think that'll handle what I need to have actual breathing room this month.
(Spamotron has come through with another excellent premise, and so Hot Dragon Inaction will be getting a sequel. I've been looking forward to writing it, and the next A Song Of Silk And Steel chapter but... -gestures at contents of the last blog- ...yeah.)
So I think I'll keep the current goal up for a bit to show and honour how much you folks all came through for me, and worry about new goals when March rolls around.
The base tip has also been upped a bit, on Estee's recommendation. It's at 5CAD, which works out to something between 3-4 USD. It was pointed out that a tip of $1 would lose most of itself to Paypal's fees, which is a fair observation. I just don't like doing that. I'm so grateful for even the tiniest bit of support that I don't like minimums at all. If Patreon didn't refuse to create a tier for anything lower than 5CAD, it'd probably have been $1 as the lowest tier there too.
Speaking of, I'm also going to be doing some tweaking of my Patreon tiers in March, and yes I'm aware that I just did so recently, but--
This is always painful to say, but they already asked in Estee's server, so might as well rip the bandaid off a second time.
--I've never had a single patron. Not once since I've opened the page, even for a month. So I've constantly been trying to improve the option and make it more attractive, including recommendations from others. As I said in the previous blog... this is all I've got. I want to make it work.
My Youtube channel is over here. Spaceships and Psychics is a channel that's themed around TTRPGs, specifically science fiction and science fantasy ones. The first ever video was about Ironsworn: Starforged, which is the game that I crossed over with to make Crystalforged.
I'm not going to give up on it. I think there is an audience out there, it's just a matter of finding it.
I even found a free program that should help with noise suppression so I don't have to worry so much about when I record. And... I think I'll be able to keep my voice steadier, now.
So, if you're wondering how I'm feeling, after all of this...
Guilty, over both needing and accepting so much help.
Jittery as I wait for that inevitable continued hounding that'll be thrown my way even though I fixed it.
Very aware that even with the current crisis averted, that this could happen again.
Extremely vulnerable, having peeled back so many layers and publicly shown what a mess I am.
But...
Appreciative beyond what words can say.
Relieved.
And... like I'm not so alone.
I don't open up much. Sometimes when I try, I get burnt. The recent bout of manipulation and harassment shows that sometimes it burns me severely. It makes it easy to feel isolated, and like I'm just screaming my pain into an uncaring void.
Yesterday I was reminded that it's not a void. That people do care, and I'm not on my own.
Thank you.
That's such a relief to hear.
Hey could you update this to over 200%?
EDIT: It has been done. Good luck on your job search! Don't give up! Also obligatory: i0.wp.com/www.sportsmockery.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/carl-edwards-jr.-w-flag-cubs.jpeg?fit=640%2C475&ssl=1
Please take a break if U feel you're mental health is going down the toilet! Losing that battle is detrimental! Talk to a professional if U feel U need extra help!