One-way Ticket

by fic Write Off

First published

/fic/ Write Off Jan 21 Entries

Writefriends from all over PonyChan gathered in a war of words on the weekend of January 21. But who is the greatest a/fic/ionado? The final decision is yours. Vote, rate, and choose your favourites!

Authors are anonymous, so you won't know who wrote what until the voting stage is over.

(See: http://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/77900.html for info on how the competition went down.)

My Journey Through Time

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I sat back from my notes, sighing. Something about them just seemed off, it felt like I didn’t get as much information out of my research as I could have. It was bugging me a lot; how could I expect to get anything done if I had to spend extra time researching just to get enough information? There had to be a more efficient way to apply my methods.

“Spike, have you found the book I asked for?”

“Yeah,” Spike called, perched on the ladder. “I’ve just about got it. I don’t get it though, what do you need a book about researching for? Isn’t it enough that you do it almost everyday?”

“My way of researching isn’t really the best. I think there’s some things I can be doing to get a better efficiency out of it!”

Spike rolled his eyes and reached for the book. I sighed, he just didn’t get it. I’m sure if he were to follow me through some of my research, he would understand. He just never seemed to have much interest.
He grabbed the book, and as he began to pull it from the shelf, his claws pushed against an adjacent book, sliding it out as well. The other book fell to the ground with a dull thud, splayed out on the floor.

“Spike, you need to be more careful,” I said, shaking my head and heading for the book he dropped.

“Sorry, it’s just these books are sometimes pretty hard to get out of the shelves.”

“That’s alright, just make sure you don’t hurt yourself.”

I picked it up with my magic, and as it soared away to the shelf, the cover caught my eye. I brought it back down and looked it over. A picture of some star system was printed across the entire outside of the book, with a partially transparent clock imposed on the front. The words, “Space-time and You” were stamped across the top.

“Spike, when did we get this?”

He thought in silence for a moment as he climbed back down. “I dunno.”

I flipped it open and skimmed through the introduction. My eyes grew wider as I made my way down the page.

“Do you know what this book is about?!”

“Uh, the stars?”

“It’s all about the theories behind the spells that alter time!”

“Spells that alter time? Is that like, spells that let you travel through time?”

“Maybe. It doesn’t mention much in the introduction, besides that the spells it goes through are dangerous.”

“Dangerous, huh? Maybe you should ask the princess about it before you try anything.”

“You know what, Spike? That’s a great idea. Take a letter, please.”

He pulled out a scroll and a quill as I cleared my throat.

“Dear Princess Celestia, I am writing to you today because I have discovered an interesting book in my library. It talks about spells that affect the flow of time, and I was wondering if you would be interested in discussing these spells with me. I have a lot of questions, and I’m sure you must know something about them. I look forward to hearing from you. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”

Spike finished scrawling out my name, rolled it up, and sent it off with a puff of fire.

“There ya go. Now we just have to wait and see what she says, I guess.”

I walked over and set the book on the table, pushing my notes to the side. I flipped it open to the first chapter.

“Um, Twilight? What should I do with this other book?”

“You can just put it back,” I said, waving a hoof at him. He grumbled something as he climbed back up the ladder. I ignored him, keeping my eyes moving along the book, taking in as much information as I could. It was extremely fascinating! The first chapter was all about introducing the author’s theory; that space and time are both related to each other through an intricately woven fabric that was created along with the stars. As everything moves along through time, they leave behind imprints on this fabric, creating a timeline for that object, whatever it may be. Certain objects have heavier imprints, and are therefore harder to interact with. So things like books and tables will be easily manipulated, while things like ponies or animals take much more magic to change. As I thought about it, it was a lot like transmutation. The more complex an object, the more magic you needed to use.

A loud belch from behind me brought me out of my thoughts. I turned to find Spike holding a letter with the royal seal holding it shut.

“Hey Twilight, it looks like the princess got your letter!”

He ran over, holding the note. I smiled and picked it up with my magic, breaking the seal and unfurling it. It was surprisingly short; I coughed and began to read it aloud.

To My Faithful Student Twilight Sparkle:

This book you have discovered certainly sounds interesting. I would love to discuss the contents with you, and I happen to be available today. If you would be able to travel to the castle as soon as possible, I can meet with you. Please send me a letter once you are on your way.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

“Hey, looks like you lucked out. You could catch a train up to Canterlot in about an hour!”

I bit my lip. “Are you sure I should go? The library needs to stay open, and I still haven’t done my research … ”

“Don’t worry about it, Twilight,” he said, waving his hand. “I can handle the library. Besides, the princess is pretty busy, so this might be the only time you can see her for a while.”

“You know what, you’re right,” I smiled, grabbing my saddlebags. “Thank you, Spike. Don’t worry, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“It’s no problem!”

I swept up the book and headed out the door, with Spike waving goodbye behind me. I could hardly keep myself from jumping, I was so excited! It didn’t feel right leaving Spike to run the library, but he was right; Celestia might not have free time again for quite a while. Besides, she might have been able to tell me more information about this type of magic!

Before I knew it, I was standing on the platform with my ticket, waiting for the train. It was due to arrive only ten minutes after I got there, so that was nice. I sat on the bench and propped open the book. I started on chapter two, this one about the dangers behind performing such magic. There wasn’t really much that could go wrong, but when something did go wrong, it went wrong quickly. For instance, if you were moving something back along its timeline and it changes position, there’s a chance part of it could get left behind in the current time! I imagined what would happen to a pony and shuddered, quickly putting the thought out of my mind. There was also another interesting concept: rifts. The author stated that, when moving directly to a position on the timeline that has a large enough gap between the current time, or when getting the spell wrong, there’s a chance a rift in the fabric can open up. The book doesn’t go into much detail, but warns that spells should be sufficiently practiced on inanimate objects before attempting to interact with complex objects, and to exercise common sense when using such spells.

The train’s horn sounded, pulling my attention out of the book. I slipped it into my bag, pulled out my ticket, and boarded the train. I plopped into a seat, pulled out the book again, and used the ticket to keep my place. The third chapter was the one that finally got into the beginning spells; the first one giving you the ability to view an object’s timeline. The incantation was fairly complex for a so-called beginner spell; and not only that, the book mentioned that it would continuously drain your magical power to keep the spell up. It seemed pretty useful though, there would be ghostly images of the object at certain points for the time interval you specified! It would show you exactly where that object was at that time! I couldn’t keep the smile from spreading on my face as I imagined what sort of possibilities this would open up. I could track any book in the library and know exactly where it wound up; as long as I knew when and where it was, I wouldn’t lose anything ever again!

I looked down at my ticket, thinking about what to try the spell out on. I figured my ticket wasn’t that good of an idea, in case I set it on fire or something, so I fished around in my bag. I found an old piece of parchment crumpled in the bottom and decided to use that. I put the book down in the seat next to me and concentrated on the parchment, running through the spell in my mind. I could feel the magic reaching out from my horn and making contact with the parchment, it beginning to glow with a muted yellow light. I had decided to use one second as the time interval, and as I stared at it, I noticed the parchment would pulse every second and leave behind a translucent, colorless version of itself. Only, the apparition would disappear almost as soon as it showed up; whisking away from myself. Of course! The train was moving so fast, that when the image showed up, we would move away from that spot before I could get a good look at it. I’d need a smaller interval to see the apparitions better. Or a slower train.

Severing the spell, I stuffed the parchment back into my bags. A drop of wetness slid down my cheek, dropping onto the seat. I felt my forehead with a bit of shock; I was already sweating. After only about a minute of that spell I was already getting tired. If such a low power spell used up that much power, I could only imagine how difficult the later spells would become.

The hills rolled along in front of my eyes. I leaned against the window and rested, letting my thoughts drift. I had to be careful with these spells, even the medium level ones might take me to the edge of going unconscious. All the same, I was still excited about it. This book seemed like it could hold some pretty powerful spells by the end! The theories the author talks about are also extremely interesting. I had never given much thought to the flow of time, let alone how to affect it with magic. The thought of flinging objects around through time sounded a bit daunting, and very strange. I could understand how that could have some dangerous repercussions if you just went around messing with every thing's timeline.

The train slowed to a crawl as it reached the Canterlot station. I crammed my things back in my bags and set off for the castle. The streets of Canterlot were lined with the usual high society, everypony was either sitting and having a chat with other ponies, or were walking with their noses in the air. It always seemed a little silly to me.

I wandered into the castle, greeting the guards on the way in.

“Twilight Sparkle,” Celestia called, coming down the stairs in the main hall to greet me.

“Princess!” I ran up and hugged her.

“It is good to see you again,” she smiled, returning the hug.

“Likewise. So, what have you got planned?”

“Come on, we’ll have some tea and talk about that book you found.”

I nodded, and she turned to lead me into the castle depths. We arrived in her room a few moments later, a small tray with a teapot and two cups resting on her desk.

“So, what’s this book you’ve found,” Celestia said, pouring tea into our cups.

“Well, it’s this book I never knew the library had called Space-time and You. Do you know anything about it?”

She thought for a moment. “No … I can’t say that it sounds familiar. What is it you said this book was about, again?”

“It starts out with great theories about how space and time are related, and it goes on to teach how to perform magic that can interact with objects through time. I can’t believe I’ve never seen anything like these spells in my studies; they’re so interesting!”

Celestia was silent for a moment. “Twilight, I’m going to tell you something, and I need for you to listen closely. The magic that book deals with is obscure for a reason. Those spells can have devastating effects when they are even slightly misused. Now, I cannot tell you what to do, but I have a request. Please do not cast any magic you learn about in that book.”

“I don’t underst-”

She raised a hoof. “I ask that you do not question me about this. I know it seems unfair, but please, trust my decision.”

“Alright,” I sighed, hanging my head. “I promise not to use any time magic.”

“Thank you, Twilight. Now, what do you say we get something to eat?”

A few hours later, I found myself riding in the back of a royal carriage on my way back to Ponyville. In my rush to make it to Canterlot, I accidentally purchased a one-way ticket for the train. I was about to just buy another ticket to go back, but Celestia insisted I use a royal carriage.

I kept the book in my bag the entire visit, even though we did talk about the theories in it. I figured she would take it away from me after her whole thing about never using the spells, and I’d much prefer to keep the book. Even if I’d never use them, it was still fun to read about the spells.

The guards brought me to the library, I thanked them as they flew off, and Spike pulled open the door after several knocks.

“Oh, hey Twilight! How’d your visit go?”

“It went alright. The princess and I had lunch and chatted about the book.” I went inside and laid my bags on the table. I pulled the book out and stared at it.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah … it’s just, the princess asked me to not use any of the spells in here.”

“What, why?”

“That’s just it though, I have no idea. She said they were dangerous, but it didn’t seem like much when I used one of the spells on the train.”

“Did you tell her that?”

“No … besides, she asked me to promise her that almost as soon as I got there. Thanks for sending a letter, by the way. I completely forgot to tell her I was on the way.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s just me being an awesome friend, like always.”

“I know,” I said, laughing. “It just feels like a waste, I guess, to have all these spells and I can’t use them.”

“If I was you, I’d just get rid of the book. That way, I wouldn’t worry about breaking my promise.”

I stared at it for a while. “I can’t do that. What would ponies say if they heard I threw out a book?”. He laughed. “Besides,” I said, sweeping it up off the table. “There are some theories I think I can use for my research in here.”

I made my way down into the basement, where my lab equipment was set up. I went around setting up some experiments to run as Spike poked his head in.

“Do you need me to help with anything?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Alright, I’m gunna head into town for a little while.”

“Go ahead. I think it’s about time to close up the library anyways, right?”

“Yup,” he nodded, closing the door as he left.

The experiments ran for quite a while. I was trying to figure out exactly what it was that objects left behind in the timeline viewing spell. I knew Celestia didn’t want me using the spells, but I’d already cast this one just fine before, so what harm could come from it?
The only way I knew how late it had gotten was when Spike poked his head in again.

“Twilight, you’re still down here?”

“I guess I am. What’s up?”

“Well, the sun’s been down for a while, so I figured I’d go to bed.”

“Oh goodness, it’s night-time already?”

“Yeah. You gunna sleep anytime soon?”

“Give me a few more minutes, okay?”

“Just don’t be too loud,” he shrugged, retreating into the library.

I sat back from my work, stretching. I had made progress, but nothing conclusive. The images objects left behind seemed to be made from nothing but magic. I also had a hunch they were only visible to the pony who cast the spell, but I’d need Spike’s help for that one.

I looked over at the book. It was open to a random page, showing off how to move an object backwards through its timeline. I read through it with earnest, itching to try out the spell. I promised Celestia I wouldn’t. My mind had other plans, as it assured me that the spell was simple enough and I wouldn’t mess it up.

I knocked the book to the floor, and focused on it. My horn shone, and the book was surrounded with the same yellow glow. I gave it a push, seeing it slowly move backwards through the air, coming to a rest on the table. I broke contact with it, a grin spreading across my lips. These spells certainly seemed harmless, maybe Celestia’s fear was misplaced? It did kind of hurt, that she didn’t believe I could use these spells without screwing them up.

My brain kicked into research mode, and wondered what would happen if I tried using that spell on a pony. I sat there for a moment, considering it, before I decided what could it hurt to try. I stood up and walked across the room. I closed my eyes and went through the spell, focusing on myself. I could feel the magic wrapping itself around me, no doubt giving me the same yellow glow. However, this felt different than the book did. It felt like my magic was being drained almost.

I opened my eyes and jumped in shock. Swirling around me were deep purple clouds of magic, spitting bolts of lighting between each other! I panicked, trying to sever the spell. The spell had other ideas. My magic kept draining through my horn, getting absorbed into the clouds at an alarming rate. I felt my body grow weaker by the minute, until I could no longer stand. As my legs buckled, I felt the flow of magic stop. The clouds were still there, so I didn’t understand why at first. Only once I felt the weight on my head did I realize what happened. My element had come to my aid, and was providing the magic the clouds wanted.

They continued to swirl around me, growing larger. Papers were being thrown around the room, swirling into a tiny tornado around me. I tried using spells on the clouds, but nothing seemed to work. The clouds remained unfazed and continued swirling.

I closed my eyes and racked my brain, trying to figure out what was going on. The book detailed a lot of things, but I couldn’t remember if it said anything about this. There was something in there about rifts, and I looked at that appendix … then it hit me! There was a picture in the appendix showing a pony surrounded by the same black clouds. I had inadvertently created a rift.

The clouds had begun to close in on me. I tried to yell something, but I couldn’t find my voice. I felt utterly exhausted, and my eyes drifted shut. The clouds continued to press in around me. There was a rumble like thunder, then a quick flash of light. As I slipped into unconsciousness, I heard Spike calling my name from somewhere distant.

Pipsqueak the Valiant's Adventure Journal!

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23rd Loyalty, Daybreak Sun

Salutations, Adventure Journal!,

Today I started the first day of school. We were allowed to wear anything we wanted so I wore my captain’s getup, with the hat and coat and eyepatch and everything. It was really cool except that it was warm and made me sweat around the collar, so maybe that cancels out.

We have a new teacher called Miss Lucky. She has a shorter mane than Miss Buttermilk. Devon Dale said that it was because she was trying to look younger although she wasn’t, and then he was tole to write fifty lines of I Won’t Make Smart Comments at My Elders, without magic. Maybe that’s why he was in such a bad mood after school but oh well.

For class we had maths and history. Maths was okay but history was fun, at least until Water Apple started calling me a relic and a museum escapee, whatever that means. Miss Lucky then asked me to explain to the class what my uniform was and I told them. When I finished telling them Miss Lucky tole the class to clap their hooves so they did. It was the first time I got clapped at by the class.

For history we learned about how Trottingham was formed. There were a lot of dates and names and the only one I can remember is Celestia because everypony knows her. There were pirates in the story though so I’m hoping that we can learn more on that.

I think this year is going to be very good. Maybe we might even have a real adventure instead of the play ones, not that there not fun but it would be cool to find real gold and diamonds and swords instead of funny rocks and big sticks, even though they’re cool too. Just not as much.

Mummy is really happy that I’m happy. She said that my dad would be happy too but when I asked her how she could tell she just said Nevermind.

Maybe I might meet my dad this year. We can go out to sea together like in the pictures.


25th Loyalty, Midday Sun

Salutations, Adventure Journal!,

Today Miss Lucky talked about pirates! It was cool although I think she’s not telling us everything. That’s because Devon Dale asked her What did they do to mares that they caught? And Miss Lucky replied, Pirate things. When Devon Dale wanted details Miss Lucky said Wait till you’re older, which is grown-up talk for I’m Not Telling You Everything Just Because. I know that because Mummy says that to me everytime I ask her about dad, but she gets all sad so I stop asking and trust her.

After school we played Captains And Pirates. We drew pictures of what our costumes looked like and we played Sail Ship in the big tree. We actually found a real crow’s nest up there!!! but the crow wasn’t very happy that I was sitting in its nest so I had to leave. We didn’t find any cool-looking pebbles or big sticks but the crow’s nest made it a success.

Devon Dale was sitting on the bench next to the big tree by himself and he made a face at me when I was going home. Mummy says to ignore bullies so I did, but he said something about dad being a pirate so I asked him what he meant. He said that my dad was a pirate who did a lot of bad things. I said he wasn’t. He said he was. I said he wasn’t. He made another face at me and that’s when Red Jacket came and hit him. There was a lot of crying and shouting and I don’t know what happened next but I got back home, and Mummy asked me what had happened, so I told her. And she said Next time somepony talks about your dad, don’t listen to them at all, because they can’t be true, and only what she says is true. Then we had a hug.

I don’t know if I like hugs. They’re icky and Devon Dale and some of the bigger ponies laugh at hugs. But they make Mummy happier.


34th Loyalty, Latenoon Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

Salutations is a really long word. Maybe dear is enough. It’s not like I’m showing this to Devon Dale so I don’t have to worry about how icky it looks.

Devon Dale and a few others have started to pick on us littler ponies. They tease us and laugh when we play Sail Ship and it’s really distracting, because it makes the others not want to play, even if we have a real crow’s nest and shiny pebbles. They sort of become embarrassed.

Today we moved on to government. It’s all boring names and there’s no pirates or captains in it. Instead there’s a lot of tax and settler ponies and economy, which is fancy for money matters. Trottingham is a small place but apparently a lot of ponies came here to trade, because it was a port. It still is, but there aren’t that many ponies. Or maybe there are. Mummy doesn’t let me go down to the docks.

Miss Lucky told us to write an essay on our favourite part of Trottingham history. I’m definitely going to write about the captains! If only Mummy would tell me more about dad then I could write a really good essay and get lots of marks, but she won’t, and I don’t want to go down to the library. The only books that they have about pirates and captains are under Sailor’s Logs and they’re all written in bent slippy hoofwriting that I can’t read. And there are so many of them, and I don’t know what to look for. I don’t dare to ask the librarian. He’s a crusty old coon with one bad eye, and he looks at you funny, like he wants to scold you but can’t because you haven’t done anything wrong yet.

Anyways only Red Jacket and Whistly and Track Record play with me now. Sometimes Cherry Pip joins us but Devon Dale calls us lovers because we both have Pip in our names, and sings the lover song everytime we play together and so I don’t want her around. I’m not sure what’s his problem. I’m just glad to have Red Jacket around. He’s almost as big as Devon and he’s really strong. He helps his dad down at the seaweed farm, pulling nets and things. He doesn’t say much, though, but I let him be captain every now and then because he deserves it for being so nice. And I think Devon’s scared of him since he got bucked by him last time, even if Devon has magic and Reddie doesn’t.

Devon said that most ships are built for unicorns, whatever that means, and that I don’t stand a chance of being on one. Dad is a pegasus and he’s still sailing, so that means Devon is lying. When I get older, I think I’ll build the first ship meant for Earth ponies, and then I can sail and look for dad so that we can have adventures together.


9th Laughter, Daybreak Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

Something very weird happened today at school. A bunch of stallions burst into the school looking for Miss Lucky even though she had left a few days ago. They looked really scary, and they all had knives, and not the small ones used for bread and butter. They began knocking down doors but they couldn’t find Miss Lucky, because she had left. They asked Miss Buttermilk where she had gone, and Miss Buttermilk said I don’t know, she didn’t tell me. Then thy threatened to hurt Red Jacket if Miss Buttermilk didn’t say. So Miss Buttermilk said She said something about going back to her old village in Whitethorn, way up north. The stallions said that if she was lying, she’d get it bad, and then they ran off.

Later, a whole bunch of parents came up to Miss Buttermilk because they were curious, although many of them looked more angry than curious. They went into the town hall and closed the doors, so we went to the back where the wall boards are looser to listen.

Miss Buttermilk said that Miss Lucky’s full name is Lucky Die, the infamous gambler. She was on the run for winning lots, which isn’t a very good reason if you ask me. The stallions were ponies who lost lots to her, which means they’re sore losers, and need to stand in the corner, but they have knives and are grown-ups so maybe that changes things. Anyhow, Miss Lucky (or Miss Die) went off somewhere that isn’t Whitehorn, and Miss Buttermilk lied even though she’s not supposed to. Some of the parents suggested they write a letter to the Princess (we’re supposed to use capitals, even if nopony’s looking, says Miss Lucky) and the other parents suggested that yes they should. There was a lot of grown-up talk after that so we went and played Sail Ship.

We went deeper into the forest than we usually do. We found a bunch of good strong sticks and we fought the Dangerous Leaf Ninjas on the lower boughs. Red Jacket was tall enough to hit all of them but then again so am I, almost, if I jump. Cherry Pip accidentally hit me so she had to walk the plank, for mutiny, but she cried and we felt sorry so we decided that all she had to do was mop the decks. Then she stopped crying.

When we came back out the forest, a lot of daddies and mummies were waiting for us and they started scolding us for hiding or something, even though that’s what we always do. It was really noisy, but a lot more fierce, like Trading Day down at the docks. My mommy just gave me a hug so I was lucky.

Today was really interesting because we got to see an adventure!, a real one too! But it wasn’t ours, it was Miss Lucky’s. I hope she manages to get to wherever she’s going. It should be alright though because the good ponies always win, and I’m sure Miss Lucky’s the good pony because the stallions have knives and were rude so they must be the bad ponies.


13th Laughter, Evening Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

Should I underline your name? It says PIPSQUEAK’S ADVENTURE JOURNAL! on the cover but I don’t think I’m supposed to include everything. I did include the ! though. I guess you don’t mind either way because you’re a book.

Today we learnt about how Trottingham’s name came to be. Some captain called Captain Chocolate discovered the land after trotting around the bank. Actually we didn’t learn how Trottingham was called Trottingham, because Miss Buttermilk talked about “summary”. But that’s okay. I’m sure he had very good reasons.

More importantly, Red Jacket tole me that there are new ships ahoy! He said that his dad and his friends saw them on the horizon when they were fishing. The ships didn’t have any flags on them, just plain black, so that means they could be anypony. He said that they might reach here in a few days, depending on the wind. The Canterlot pegasuses are slow in coming this year, so weather is unpredictable, says Red Jacket’s dad, and a lot of bad words, says Red Jacket. I asked him how did he know that they were bad words. He said that it was common sense. I said I didn’t know what words were bad, and if stupid was a bad word. He said that it was stupid to think that stupid was a bad word. I said that it was, and that he had used it twice. We sort of got into a fight but Track Record broke it up with a stick, and said that both of us should walk the plank, because he mutinied and became the new captain. So we did. Then we joined forces and claimed Du-wal Captainship, the first ever in Equestria, and made him walk the plank.

Then we talked about cutie marks. Red Jacket’s got his, which is a net, and Whistly’s got his, which is something called a “quartet”. It’s a straight line with a head and a hook-like tail. He said he got his one day when he was practicing whistling by himself in the woods. It’s funny because he’s the only one that can and he doesn’t need to practice but he does anyways. Track Record and me don’t have ours.

Red Jacket has his because he’s working in the family business, and Whistly has his because of his name. I wonder where that leaves us. Track Record says that it could be either running or playing music with those old gramaphones, but he doesn’t like being sweaty and thinks that gramaphones are dusty old things. I’m not in a family business and I don’t like to think what my cutie mark would be if it was something to do with my name.

I want a cutie mark of captaineering, or at least sailing. That’d be good, though Mummy might not like that very much. I don’t know why, I just think so.

Mummy’s cutie mark is three pots. I don’t know what dad’s cutie mark is. The photos are too small.

Maybe I could go with Red Jacket the next time they sail, if only Mummy would let me. Then I could discover my cutie mark like Captain Chocolate did with Trottingham.


16th Laughter, Daybreak Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

It was really rainy today, as usual. Mummy says it’s “freak weather” and I was tole to stay at home all day.

There wasn’t much to do so I played Sail Ship by myself. It wasn’t very fun. I almost fell from the tall rocking chair, the one nopony sits in, so I went to see if I could help Mummy with whatever it is she was doing.

Mummy makes pots. She has a spinning wheel machine and a lot of clay at the back, and it whirs the clay around and around to let her mold it. I asked her if I could help and she said Yes. She tole me to get a lump of clay and squish it up so that there wouldn’t be any lumps inside. We have a tall box to squish the clay in, so that it doesn’t fly out. So I squished clay until I got tired, and then I asked if I could mold instead and she said Yes.

It was really fun, pressing the pedal that made the machine plate spin. Controlling the clay was a lot harder though. I pushed the sides in a lot so I had to redo and redo. I managed to get the hang of it though, and now I have my very own pot. It’s half your size, Adventure Journal!, and I use it to hold my pencil. It looks neater that way.

After that, I took out one of dad’s old journals to try and have a read. His hoofwriting is really bad, too, though, so I couldn’t make much sense out of it. He writes the dates and the weather as well, but no “Dear Journal”. Hmm.

I wonder how the black sail ship’s doing in this weather. Dad’s probably in some faraway sea so it shouldn’t affect him, right?


17th Laughter, Rising Sun

A lot of weird stuff’s been happening around town. Even early in the day, there were a whole lot of ponies by the docks, crowded around and talking. Even Miss Buttermilk didn’t seem keen to teach, but she did anyways.

We went down together after school to have a look, when there were less grown-ups. There were still a bunch though, walking around with knives on their belts. I think they were guarding the place. They looked fierce so we didn’t push too far up ahead. We went to the far end of the docks and got on a sand bar.

Red Jacket let me get up on his back to see what was going on. It was amazing -- there were bits of wood and metal all over the shores, floating about in the sea. There was even a bunch of colourful clothes, which meant that the ship was carrying valuable stuff, because only rich ponies and captains wear that sort of clothes, and you can’t have a ship full of captains. They would have fights really quickly and everypony would be walking the plank and nopony’d be left.

I tole them that it was a shipwreck. They just nodded. I guess they could see it for themselves. Whistly did that high-and-then-low whistle of his. He shouldn’t have because a couple of grown-ups saw us and came walking towards us.

You shouldn’t be here, said one. This isn’t a place for foals.

It’s just a shipwreck, said Red Jacket. I know he was being careful with his words, because he spoke slowly.

And you’re just foals, said the other one.

My father’s Salty Set, said Red Jacket.

Will you hark at the foal, said the first one. Your dad’s gone off shift. Besides, he tried to look for survivors. Then he spat on the ground.

There are ponies out there? asked Whistly. Shouldn’t we help

Nopony’s to help them, warned the second one. They’re pirates, y’hear? Pirates! What are you, idiots?

Look, said the first one. Shut up. Then he said to us, These pirates are bad ponies, okay. They’re getting what’s coming to them. Don’t you know? They rob and steal and sink our ships and, er, do bad stuff to the mares in special. Now’s just justice being done.

Then he looked at me funny and asked, Wait, aren’t you Napsack’s kid?

I didn’t know who Napsack was, so I tole him. I said that my dad was a captain but he’s been gone out to sea for a really long time.

The second one muttered something like Good riddance, but the first one gave him a look. Then he tole us to run along and wouldn’t stop looking at us until we did.

I went home and tole Mummy that there was a shipwreck. She asked me what colour the sail was, and I tole her. She said she wanted a moment and then sent me to my room.

I wonder who Napsack is. He’s probably a bad old pirate with a wooden leg AND an eyepatch. Maybe dad beat him in an adventure. I should ask him when he gets back.


8th Kindness, Midday Sun

Mummy said that we’re leaving Trottingham in a week. We have to pack up our things and go away. I don’t know why. I asked her and she said It’s not safe, There are more and more bad ponies going about in town and This isn’t someplace you should grow up in.

I don’t know what made her think that. Maybe it’s Devon Dale. I tole her that Red Jacket could handle him and she said Not the ponies I’m talking about.

I haven’t seen Red Jacket in a while, to be honest. He isn’t coming to school that often. He says that he has to work more now that his dad taught him how to row a fishing boat, to make up for losses. He says that the pirates are attacking more frequently, and that they’re getting desperate. When I asked him who, he said Both us and the pirates. He says that they’re going after any trade ship they happen to come across, instead of just picking on the little ones, even though it’s real dangerous for them. It’s driving his dad crazy because he pays a lot of money to have his produce shipped by a well-known guild, not for the guards to turn out to be cowards that jump ship.

I tole the others about this and they said that they were sorry to see me go. Track Record’s parents, he said, were thinking about it but hadn’t actually made any decisions. Whistly’s staying for sure, though, because he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. He’s trying to figure out what sort of job he can do with his special talent. Cherry Pip just went all quiet, and stayed on until the others left. She asked me to stay back in the forest and... oh, I really hope nopony reads this...

She asked me if I could stay, that she’d miss me a lot. I said Is this a joke and How much did Devon Dale pay you. She looked shocked for a moment, then ran away. I hope she’s okay. I didn’t feel good so I gave her mum the fanciest stone I had, the crystally one with a dark swirl that shows up in the sunlight, and asked her to give it to her. Perhaps that’ll work.

Come to think of it, I don’t want to leave. Wherever it is we’re going, it may not have a tree as big as the one we have. And the ponies there may not know how to play Captains And Pirates. Maybe they’re all grown-ups, or bullies. But I know that there definitely won’t be Red Jacket, Whistly, Track Record and Cherry Pip (maybe Track Record though).

Come to think of it, I have quite a few friends. That’s nice. I wish I could keep them though.


18th Kindness, Setting Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

I’m on my first adventure! I’m writing you on a train as I, er, write. We’re going on a long journey away to someplace new, me and Mummy. It’s what an adventure should be, except that it isn’t as fun and there’s not much fighting, only a bit of scuffling when we line up.

We’re in a crowded car, sharing the bench with two other ponies. Opposite us are four more. These ponies look like nothing I’ve seen in Trottingham before, and three are dressed in thick fur coats. I don’t know why, since it’s so warm in here. There isn’t even enough room to scratch your back, that’s how cramped it is. Mummy’s gone out for a while which is why I’ve got enough elbow room to write you.

We’re going to a place called Ponyville, to an aunt’s place, Aunt Carrot Top’s. I’ve never met here before, but Mummy says she’s nice, and the letters she writes make Ponyville seem like a really nice place too. There are a lot of ponies my age, and the Princess’ student is there too, the Element of Magic or something like that. Wow!

It’s a bit hard writing with only one hoof to steady you. That’s because I have to hold on to my ticket. Mum says that our tickets are one-way only, because we’re not going back to Trottingham for a long time. It’s a bit worrying, but maybe when I grow older, Mummy will let me go back. I can play with my friends again, and go down to the docks, and if I’m lucky dad will be waiting there for me.

Aunt Carrot Top says that there’s a special celebration going on called Nightm

[The writing trails off in a squiggle]


Mayor Mare scanned the office nervously. The bookshelf had been dusted, the potted plants watered, the floor swept and the desk unusually empty after a fresh round of organizing. Yes, everything was as it should be. First impressions were important, and even though they were on first-name terms, Celestia’s own pupil was the pony to impress.

The door swung open gently. “Mayor Mare, you--”

“Ah, Twilight! Yes, please do come in,” said Mayor Mare quickly. “Have a seat. May I offer you some water?”

“Oh, no, I’m fine,” smiled Twilight. “What’s the matter? Bon-bon said it was important, so I dropped what I was doing and came over.”

“Right. Well, as the Ponyville librarian, you have access to the Northern registar, don’t you?” asked Mayor Mare.

“The Northern registar... that includes Trottingham, Haysville and the Whitewoods region, right? Yes I do,” answered Twilight. “I don’t read it much, though. It’s just a list of names.”

“Right. Now, do you know Pipsqueak and his mother, Potsherd?”

“Pipsqueak... yes, I met him last Nightmare Night! He’s a sweet little guy, isn’t he? Pinkie Pie calls him ‘chap’ all the time. I think it’s some northern word,” rambled Twilight.

“Yes, about him. Could you check the registar for his father’s name?” said Mayor Mare carefully. “It’s under the Trottingham list, if it’s still around. Just look for ‘Pipsqueak’ and search up the directory for his father.”

“Oh, you don’t need to do that,” laughed Twilight, waving a hoof. “I know what you want.”

“You do?”

“Oh, yes. You’re just shy and you don’t want to ask them.” Twilight leaned forward, with the air of somepony who has read about “conspiratorial gazes” and is eager to try it out for herself. “Don’t worry, I used to be like that. But it’s okay, I’m sure they won’t mind--”

“Twilight!” snapped Mayor Mare. “I mean, Miss Twilight Sparkle. I’m afraid you don’t know the gravity of the situation.”

“What situation?” trailed Twilight, looking hurt.

“That Pipsqueak is the colt of a renegade captain,” said Mayor Mare, exhaling deeply. “Or at least I think he is.” She waved a hoof irritably. “No, wait. Sit down. I’ll tell you the story. You see, several years ago, there was a captain called Copper Mast. He made a name for himself by fending off the pirates in the Trottingham seas from busy trade routes, in Her Royal Highness’ service. Even so, there was not much pay for sailors, and it’s a rough life. You spend weeks, even months away from home, drifting along endless sea, seeing no action for long stretches and fighting for your life the next...” Her eyes glazed over. “Whatever the reason, he turned against the marines and went rogue.”

She tried to read Twilight’s face. It was a mix of disbelief and curiosity, her mouth hanging slightly open. At least she was listening.

“It’s been said that he left behind a wife and child, sending back to them without fail six pounds of gold every fortnight. It became a legend of a sort, and that sort of legends tends to attract the wrong types of ponies.” Mayor Mare sighed. “We have it so good here, because we’re close to Canterlot. Beyond in the wilder regions, though, where the princesses’ influence is weaker...”

“So you’re saying that Pipsqueak...”

“I’ll be blunt. They pose a certain threat to our town,” said Mayor Mare. “I need you to make sure that I’m wrong.”

The look of confusion in the young mare’s eyes made her writhe inside. Seriously, the standards of education these days, even under Princess Celestia’s tutorage...

“I’m sworn to look after this town and the well-being of its citizens,” sighed Mayor Mare. “That means checking up on every new pony that comes in. If they pose a threat to the peace, I have no choice but to do something. I’m duty-bound. It’s my responsibility. Do you understand?”

“Yes, but--”

“I want them to stay, Twilight Sparkle. I really do. Help me and show me that they can. Go and, you know, check with the registar, under the Trottingham list that may not be there anymore, that Pipsqueak’s father is not Copper Mast.”

“I-- oh.” It was, Mayor Mare thought later, like watching the moon rise. It took a while, but when it did happen, it brought a sense of relief, knowing that what needed to happen has happened. “Oh. I, um, see, Mayor Mare.”

“I’ll need your signature at the bottom of this form when you’ve checked,” added Mayor Mare, winking just in case. It made her want to moan dramatically. “Proof that you’ve checked that the following, Pipsqueak and Potsherd, are certified to be viable and proper citizen material. And yes, this is the registration form for the official documents they’ll need to conduct any business in Ponyville. Buy, sell, rent, whatever.”

Twilight nodded, returned the wink, and left.

Mayor Mare waited for the last of the hoofsteps to die down. From the vantage point of Town Hall’s highest room, she waited until she could no longer see the lavender dot. She relaxed a little and took out a bottle from a drawer, followed by a pair of brilliant red dice. It was not particularly special -- the one that was, she kept under the floorboards of the stage where it was safe from pegasi antics and Pinkie Pie -- but it was comfort enough. With some difficulty, she uncorked it and poured a generous measure into the silver mug on the desk, nursing it like an old friend.

“Well, well, Pipsqueak,” muttered Mayor Mare to herself. “I wonder if you can still recognize me after so long. Hopefully not. I wonder if you’re still spelling ‘told’ wrong.”

She gave the dice a roll.

“Two fives. Hmm.”

An idea lurked in her mind. What was it? Ah, yes, the one-way ticket. She still had that somewhere in the drawer as well. Unlike most ponies, though, she had a collection of them. All going away, none turning back. The refugee’s expression of optimism.

Mayor Mare was many things. She was considerably lax with her duties, which was something, considering all she had to do was paperwork. She was the amicable albeit impotent authority figure in a town directly under the gaze of the most powerful being in Equestria. She was the silent, unsung benefactor of the many refugees that sought asylum from the world beyond. She was, at one point, a legend herself, though fat lot that had did for her.

The one thing that she would not be today, she decided, was the pony that denied Pipsqueak and Potsherd a second chance, whatever their reasons. She had had her share of those, and being stingy was just asking for bad luck. And that was something she definitely did not want.

She drained the mug and began filling out forms.

FIN.

VIVA LE BLACK HOLE

View Online

“How in Celestia`s name did the night fall so soon?”

I slumped down on the couch, lazily looking through my window at the bright moon. It was like it got bigger and bigger for each passing day, filling the sky with more and more bright, unnatural light. And then one day it would swallow me, the fool, who had been lured in by its luminescence.

I shook my head and attempted to sit up in an upright position.

*DUNK*

It failed. My head came crashing down on the cushion I was lying on. Sleep had found me, and was intent on giving me a one-way ticket to the dream-express. But not now, I had work to do. I ignored my heavy hooves, and tried to just roll down of the couch. I landed safely, and when I stood up, something cracked in my neck.

“Oh, shut up you old bones…” I mumbled to myself.

The way I was trotting over to my fridge, looked like that of an injured race-horse. Why I didn’t know. I remembered getting up in the morning, then I had coffee, then I trotted over to Ponyville to see if there was anything happening.


The job that I held over at The Equestrian Times was kind of special. It didn´t just consist of sitting in the same office all day, compiling the already old news that had happened yesterday. The majority of the writing staff was based in Manehattan, and never had to leave their building, because if you waited a minute some celebration of Celestia, or a holiday would appear. Those ponies could do what they wanted, and write about it however they wanted. There never were any thing that needed debate or discussion, we have one leader and everybody agrees with her. I love Celestia, but it was a waste of space when the only thing within every issue´s politics section, was a transcript of her every word that day.

Needless to say, I steered away from these positions. I wanted to avoid the agonizing internship, the education, everything. I never was the greatest technical writer, but I knew how to describe what I saw in bright, colorful language. I had almost given up when they had rejected my first application, but then something happened. The day that Nightmare Moon returned to Ponyville, every news-source had panicked. They reported the basic details of the incident, but no solution was suggested, instead giving space to so-called “experts” on what to do when night would fall. It would lead to headlines like:

Nightmare Moon returns to bring the eternal night, expert says: Get a fireplace. Stat.

This weeks forecast:

Monday: DARKNESS

Tuesday: OBLIVION

Wednesday: Cloudy

Thursday: Cloudy with a chance of DARKNESS and OBLIVION

I, however, wanted to know what was happening now. There had been rumors that someone in Ponyville had taken it upon themselves to fight NM. So I wrote Celestia (as everybody and their mom does) asking for a confirmation of this. I made it clear, in my professional earth pony “mouth writing” that I just wanted to inform the citizens of the latest events, nothing more. To my surprise, she complied, and a slick correspondence grew out of it.

I fondly remember trotting up to the lobby-pony at the office, dropping a stack of letters on the desk. The old mare looked disapprovingly at my clothing (a worn out grey suit jacket, red dusty scarf) and my messy yellow mane. But that seized, when her eyes fell upon the letter on top of the stack, which had Celestia´s signature at the bottom.

“And you are the one submitting these letters?”

I smirked, proudly.

“Yes it is.”

“Name please?” she demanded.

“Dirt Miner.”

The stack of letters (and those that followed in the next few days) was published in the new issues as a special report section. It was praised beyond belief, primarily because it was so hard to get a comment from princess Celestia at the time. Because of that, The Equestrian Times received a lot of approval from fellow newspapers, who saw it as a brave move to publish an amateur. TET immediately recruited me afterwards.

I was NOT popular in my short time working at the office. A lot of writers were jealous at me for coming up with such a simple, yet effective idea, when they had spent days in that building trying to come up with filler for the paper. I couldn´t blame them for that, they had worked hard in a time of crisis. I still fondly remember the smell of sweat that filled the building the day after the mane 6 got their medals.

But it did not matter. Most of the colts and mares who worked there, did not want to do anything with their writing. For the most part, these ponies wanted nothing more than their paychecks so that they could hold on to their apartments uptown. And I could barely keep living in my old attic. That, and my disdain towards reporting local news, caused Head Lines (my editor) to give me a column called “Digging in the Dirt”. In light of the NM incident and the strange things that happened in Ponyville afterwards, I decided to use my newfound income to move there, in case anything else happened worth reporting.


I stared into the fridge. Mostly empty. I grabbed some leftover hay fries from yesterday, and those coffee sweets Mr. and Ms. Cake had started selling. Don’t know why that was in the fridge.

I yawned. Now I remembered. Today had been another day of nothing. Just like the previous days, and weeks before that. It was Friday, and my time for the column was running short. I attempted to comfort myself, by emptying the entire box of fries down in my mouth. I was so naïve. When I had moved here, I was overwhelmed with how many things were happening on a daily basis. I had barely settled down in my large cottage by the river outside Everfree, when an Ursa Major appeared. That column was my big break; it surprised everybody in Equestria to see an old pony-tale come alive.

I looked across the room towards my dashboard. It had all my best articles pinned up on it, with titles like: Twitching Pony Predicts The Future, I Saw A Bear Made From Stars, Poisonous Jokes, The Return

Of The Mare In The Moon, and of course Here Comes The Sun(A mail correspondence with Princess Celestia)

All of these happenings had been fascinating, confusing, terrifying, but they were always resolved by the six ponies known as the elements of harmony. Whenever they were around, something was bound to happen, something strange and unexplainable. They had been a great source of material in the first months, and if one week was particularly uneventful, I would just report on whatever was left, be it talent shows, fashion shows, festivals or celebrations. And then it was back with something sensational the next week. I shoved the coffee sweets in my mouth, ignoring the sweet taste, I only needed the caffeine.

“Have to come up with something.” I thought to myself.

The weeks had passed where nothing happened. Head Lines was getting worried about me, as were the rest of the staff. They thought my writing was getting stale, and it also showed my lack of experience as a writer. I sometimes forgot that journalism is more than just describing and reporting. Sometimes, you have to work around what to report, and keep your style consistent. Instead, my column had become the local news of Ponyville, which was only interesting to its own citizens. I needed something supernatural, extraordinary, unexplainable, and I needed it right now.

I sat down before my typewriter. The golden letters looked so grand and royal just sitting there. It was like they wanted to jump off their buttons and go find the greatest occurrence in the world. Only then would I be worthy of putting my hoof on them. But I began anyway:

The citizens of Ponyville are planning to launch a new holiday. On the day of harmony, it will have been a whole year since Discords imprisonment, which will be celebrated by…

I pulled my tape recorder from my jacket pocket and pressed play. I had attempted to interview some local citizens about what happened that day.

“So what do you remember happening that day?”

My voice sounded horrible on tape. So tired and…squeaky. Then again, it was early in the morning.

“Well, I remember hovering in the air, being blown up all the time, and then I was a washing machine!”

I stopped the tape. Why, oh why did I waste time on that!? The pony folk I had interviewed, had no memory of that day, beside all that weird chaos stuff Discord did to them. And the elements were out of town today, so I could not get an actual retelling of the day as it happened. This was hopeless, it had nothing of interest.

I put my hooves on my head. This was not good. The column was due tomorrow, and I had nothing…I closed my eyes.

When I opened them again, I was lying on the floor. I had fallen asleep, it seemed. The caffeine sweets I was chewing before, was now halfway out of my open mouth covered in slobber. I stood up, wiping the spit from my chin. That’s when I heard it.

A strange loud sound was filling the room. It sounded like a thunderstorm, if you were inside one. Like the sound of a giant straw sucking everything in from above. It was so unpleasant to me; I had to hold my head so I didn’t collapse again.

“What…Is that” I said out loud.

I dragged my tired body over to the window and opened it. I stuck my head out, and looked down the river outside. I live several miles away from Ponyville, which was visible in the distance. I looked at my watch, and it said midnight. All the lights were out in the small town. The only things that were making my sorroundings visible was the lamps inside my study, and the moon. The river that passed through everfree was right below me, flowing down towards more forest. Right there. Right there, a few feet away from my window was a glow. It looked like the glow of a unicorn horn, weak as it was. In the distance, I could see several shapes moving around, discussing something.

I ducked back inside. I knew a mysterious occurrence when I saw it. It was probably some unicorns practicing some enchantress curse. I quickly slipped on my large red scarf, and closed my three-piece jacket. I picked up my recorder and pressed a button that erased what was currently on the tape. I tucked it in my pocket, along with a pen and a notebook, in case that monstrous noise would disturb the recorder. I switched off my lamps, and almost smashed the door open with my hoof.


The weather was quit, but cold. I could feel a slight breeze dashing against my beige fur every now and then. The only way to know where I was going was to follow that tiny spec of light a few feet away from me. Getting closer and closer, I saw four ponies that were all looking at something in the river, with concerned and fearful expressions. None of them had noticed me yet. They all seemed too engrossed in what ever was down there. The glowing horn belonged to a mare, who was pointing it t the thing in the river. As I got closer, I could see where the noise was coming from. In the middle of the otherwise normal river, there was a huge black…hole?

“Who are you?”

A yellow colt was the first notice my presence. He had stepped right in front of me, as I was about to get a better look at the thing in the water. He stared at me for a while, with unfocused eyes.

“And what is your business here?”

He tried to make a threatening face at me, but ended up looking more confused.

“Ummmm…ANSWER ME!”

“Dirt Miner´s my name. I´m a reporter and column writer for The Equestrian Times.”

The colt looked even more confused now.

“Huh?”

I produced my recorder from my pocket, pressed record, and almost swung it at him, stopping right at his mouth.

“Now, what is YOUR business here? Are you some kind of enchanter cult?”

He just stared at the recorder, clueless. I pointed it to some other colt unicorn standing beside him.

“Are you some kind of water wizard?”

I was so excited to be back in the field, doing what I was good at, so much that I smirked while asking the question. The unicorn, who had a red coat with dark brown mane, just looked at me skeptically.

“No. Are you some kind of maniac who wants to screw up this very delicate operation?”

Operation? Now I got it!

“You are all spies! “

The unicorn pushed the tape recorder away from him.

“All right, I don’t know who you are, but you are interrupting a very important mission that Celestia herself has sent us on here. So why don’t you go…how did you even find this place?”

“I live by the river, right over there.”

I pointed my foreleg towards my house.

“Oh” the unicorn exclaimed unimpressed.

“Maybe that means…”

He turned around and whistled towards the third pony, a Pegasus.

“ASAP! Do you recognize this fancy colt?”

The green Pegasus hovered over to us. He observed me, with his tired, almost shut eyes.

“Yeeeeeaaah, I know him. I deliver mail to him every morning. When I´m on my runs, I always see him running around eating sweets, talking to every pony he finds.”

Well, that was…not correct at all. I raised my voice.

“Hey, I may have a sweet tooth, but when you see me out there, I’m actually TALKING to ponies, as part of the job.”

The Pegasus stopped hovering, landing on the ground.

“Are you really?”

“Yes I am, and it´s great. You should try it sometime along with some sleep”

He walked closer, until he was staring me in the eye. It was then it occurred to me how tall he was. I was surprised those wings could still carry him. I stared back as hard as I could, my eyes widening and all. He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a voice from afar.

“Why are you arguing?”

I knew that voice. It sounded young and spiteful. Before I could ponder further, the mare who had been pointing her horn at the river the whole time turned around and walked over. Turns out it was Twilight Sparkle. She looked frustrated, as she stepped into the little circle the colts had formed around me.

“Who is that anyway?”

She visibly recognized me, and looked relieved, and by that I mean relieved that it wasn’t some random maniac, instead it was a maniac she knew.

“Oh, it´s you. He´s the local reporter, he´s okay.”

All three of the colts jaws dropped. Then in a second they were back up again. For a while nopony said anything. I was just relieved that Twilight was okay with me being here, but I had no idea why the colts were just standing around. Nothing could be heard but the sound of that…hole in the river, swallowing all the water. These ponies had respect for the purple unicorn, but it seemed like something out of the ordinary “local hero” kind of respect. What were these ponies doing down here at this hour?

“Can we please get back to work?”

The colts nodded. The green Pegasus looked at me like he was sorry.

“Sorry about that. I get kind of crazy when I have been working all day.”

He reached out his left hoof.

“The name is Mail Bag, but people around here call me ASAP.”

I shook his hoof, with a passion.

“I am the chief mail pony in Ponyville. That includes packages out of town, and letters to Celestia.”

He smiled at me. Suddenly I felt like I needed some people skills. The red pony reached out his hoof as well.

“I apologize for the unkind introduction. I´m Hodge Podge. Professional wizard and the man behind the Portal Squad.”

I shook his hoof. Wait what did he just say?

“The portal what now? I muttered

“Oh yeah” Hodge Podge figured. He then looked at the yellow colt.

“Nopony really knows what it is, right Traffic Cone?”

Traffic Cone looked like he was called back to reality. While I was arguing with Mail Bag, he had just stood there, fearing for his life. But now the much younger colt was back, which caused him to smile broadly.

“No” Traffic said in a low voice. “I guess nopony does. But that´s because we´re secret right?”

“We´re not secret, we are a brand new society, it´s just that nopony has the problems we deal with.”

Hodge Podge put his hoof on his chest, as if he was about to declare something.

“Wherever” he said “Somepony is struggling with a magic portal, the portal squad shall be there to close the gap!”

I think he was expecting applause for that. I remained silent, while just stood there eyes closed. Then Traffic reached his hoof out for a quick shake.

“Sorry, Traffic Cone, assistant to the great Hodge Podge”

Traffic stood on his hind legs, so that he could poke Hodge, who was still in the same pose, on the head.

“Hodge? I think we need a new name, just saying.”

Hodge looked down at Traffic, disapprovingly.

“Is that so? Can you maybe come up with a name that strikes such admiration in the hearts of…portals?

Traffic looked like he was about to fire off a million of suggestions from his childish mind, but was interrupted by the now familiar roar of Twilight.

“GEEZ, YOU GUYS, CANT YOU JUST TELL HIM WHAT WE ARE HERE FOR!?”

“Right” Hodge said. “We…”

“YOU COME OVER HERE HODGE, I NEED HELP WITH THIS!” Twilight yelled.

Hodge quickly trotted over to Twilight, while ASAP started filling me in.

“So,” he said “we…”

“Wait!” I had almost forgotten to turn my recorder on. I pushed the button in, and put it to ASAPs snout.

“I was out on my last round today, right next to your area actually, when I saw that thing ravaging the river.”

He pointed at the black, iris-like circle in the river. All this conversation was nice, but one question was beating my head furiously right now.

“What is that? Is it a portal?” I finally asked. ASAP scratched his neck.

“I…guess? I don’t know. I just saw it swallowing all that water, and that didn´t seem right. So I immediately flew to Canterlot to report it. It seemed like Celestia already knew about it, said something about “feeling a disturbance in the balance of Equestria”. Maybe it´s because of that Discord fellas tricks. Not too good for the planet right? “

ASAP sniffed a bit. I suspected he might have gotten a cold from staying out in this weather all day.

“So she contacted her two magic experts, while I told them where I had seen the…hole. Yeah, let’s call it that. Hodge is popular in Canterlot for his magic skills, but the reason he is here with Traffic, is because the two of them are the only portal-closers in the land. Apparently, a lot of scholars in magic experiment with portals, and whenever something goes wrong with that the squad shows up and closes it. I have been waiting here all day to make sure they would close that thing for good. It creeps me out.”

ASAP turned to the others.

“You wannna see some magic? Two of the greatest magicians in Equestria together, is something I would not miss by a long shot.”

“Wait” I said “We need your name on the recording so my editor knows it´s you. “

He turned to me again, pulling the recorder along with my foreleg closer, almost lifting me in the air.

“The name” he said in a confident voice “is Mailbag, otherwise known as the post-office nightmare, but in the night, the mares of Ponyville whisper one name only: ASAP.”

He let go of the recorder, and I stumbled around, sleepy as I was. By Luna’s mane, was he strong.

“You sure are some writer if you can get all that printed” ASAP laughed.

“Okay” I said “let´s go to the magic show.”


It had been a loooooong time since my last sensation. My head felt so heavy from all this information that I almost hesitated investigating this further. It may seem unprofessional, but I briefly considered hiding my head in my scarf, that I could just dive down into an endless, red cotton sea. But why turn back now? Even if I was reaching an information overload, this would be the greatest article ever written. The fact that Equestria was in danger of being torn apart by some unknown force was enough to bring my whole readership back. This was my one-way ticket to inspiration, and salvation.

We all stood by the edge, looking down into the hole. It really did look like a portal, with its circle-form and constant spinning. Twilight and Hodge had both closed their eyes, preparing their spells or whatever it was. I had no time to waste. I needed more comments, so I switched on the recorder and put it to my chin.

“Test, test, 1,2,1,2. Okay, I am out at midnight, it’s Tuesday and I have discovered a strange black portal, in the river next to Everfree. Here with me, I have expert magician Hodge Podge of the portal squad, so tell me HP, how will you remove this thing?”

I put the recorder to his mouth. He was concentrating very intensely on keeping his eyes closed, but opened them after five seconds.

“Well, back at my classes at the magic academy whenever a portal spell went haywire, it started to cause all sorts of chaos, ponies morphing in shape, suddenly the tables would talk and all those things. Then when I showed up, I simply concentrated on pushing the portal shut, no special spells needed, it just takes a lot of magic muscle, if you understand.”

I nodded. I had seen Twilight in action a lot, and while she didn’t always know what spells to use, most of the time she just concentrated on something.

“All the portals I have closed before were easy and it only took a few minutes. This one, however, is spinning. It was not made for transport like most portals are, instead, it sucks everything down to Celestia knows where. So, the only thing we can do is to keep on trying to close it.”

He closed his eyes again.

“I´m sorry but we have to get to work now. I have never seen anything like this, and it could seriously screw Equestria up.”

That wasn’t quite enough. I needed a celebrity claim before I was done. I put the recorder to twilight sparkle.

“Twilight, what do you-“

She opened her eyes, and looked at me in an apologetic way.

“Miner, can´t you just ask these questions after we have solved this problem. You really are slowing us down.”

Augh. Not a single quote? But I needed more! I needed some more doomsday mood. If I could just…

“Miner?” ASAP interjected. “I almost forgot. When I reported the hole, I forgot to finish my route today. Here´s a letter for you.”

He reached in the mailbag hanging on his side, and gave me a white envelope. I stuck it in my pocket, I was at work now.

How would I get that final doomsday mood into my writing? Maybe…record the sound of the hole?

“As you can hear in the background, the strange hole is sucking everything in.”

The two unicorns horns had started to glow, and it genuinely looked like the hole was getting smaller. Lightning shot out from it, and started to spin intensely. Maybe if I was quick enough, I could get a small sound bite of the actual hole. I held out my foreleg, my hoof clutching the recorder.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU IDIOT!?” some voice faintly said.

I reached out to the hole. I had grossly underestimated the pull this thing had. Suddenly, it just yanked my arm in, along with the rest of me. My own scream was the last thing I heard, before it all got black.


I only faintly remember my time in the hole. I could not see anything, but constantly moving colors. All possible shapes in the universe were mashed together with my tiny feeble being. I did not feel anything physically, nor did I really notice a change during this (apparently) long period. All that I knew was, i was moving forward, no turning back now.

Suddenly, it was all over. I was lying on my back at the riverside, opening my eyes to a disgustingly pink sky. I quickly surveyed my body, nothing seemed to be missing.

“Hooves, head, eyes, mane, recorder and notes. Everything seems to be okay.” I confirmed to myself.

Why was I still complete? I just fell into a portal that nopony knew anything about. Ah, well. Now I had enough material for two articles. I stood up, scouting over the landscape. The river looked pretty much…

“OH LUNA, RIP MY MANE OUT!” I yelled aloud.

The black hole right behind me was huge. It had grown so large it took up a third of Everfree, as far as I could see, swallowing tree after tree. Every now and then, beams of lightning shot out of it, transforming whatever it hit. One hit a tree, melting it, another hit a terrified rabbit, turning it into a robot creature.

I was terrified as well, when another beam shot out in my direction. I did not have time to react as it hit me in the chest. Strangely, I felt no pain but a slight buzzing in my pocket. It was the envelope. I took the letter out, and opened it. It contained a very bright red slip of foil paper. The writing on it was golden, and glistened as I read it.

Congratulations! You just won a one way ticket to Oblivion! Come for the chaos, stay for the madness. Courtesy of Black Hole Universal inc. THIS TICKET BELONGS TO: Dirt Digger

What in the hay was this? How did this thing know my actual name? And was I really destined to go to Oblivion for all eternity? Despite the message on the “ticket” I could not take my eyes away from the beautiful paper. It seemed so royal and out of place in this crazy place.

“This thing is as bright as a phoenix.” I thought to myself.

Suddenly, the ticket started to change shape. It grew the head of a bird, wings and a large feathered body. I now had a large phoenix sitting on my hand. My jaw dropped, as I just looked at the magnificent beast. Before I could even react rationally, the bird started flapping it wings, and carried me up in the air. The bird carried my whole weight like it was nothing.

“AAAAAAAAAAAH!” I yelled.

It took flight and flew towards Ponyville. Underneath me, giant type-writers were scattered about, enormous swarms of Parasprites were chasing the villagers around, and a bunch of balloons hovered around, exploding. The black hole really was starting to wreck havoc on the land. I had material for a whole book now, but that was not important at all. I needed to be back in a normal universe, where my actions mattered. I needed to find the others before it was too late. I was above the main square of Ponyville now, but the phoenix kept circling around never stopping.

“Put me down, NOW!” I yelled.

I lifted my other free foreleg, and knocked the bird on the head. After a few hits it suddenly let go of me, several meters above the ground.

“AAAAAAAAAH, YOU STUPID BIRD!”

Right before I hit the ground, the bird flew underneath me, catching me. I was relieved to be alive; still I scowled at the devil like bird.

Every where I looked, chaos was terrorizing the citizens. The big clock tower kept turning its hands, never stopping. Meanwhile, snakes were crawling out of chimneys, enormous bowling balls were rolling through the cottages, along with the odd case of ponies rising to the sky and falling down again. In the midst of this chaos, The Mayor was running around, trying to control her living hair.

The Phoenix had returned to its ticket form, and had flown right back in my pocket.

“If I could just, cut that thing off her head.” I thought.

The ticket changed shape, into a machete-like red knife. This thing really was something. I drew it with my mouth and approached the mayor, taking aim for her hair. For some reason, the knife wanted me to aim lower, more specifically: her actual head. I ignored it, and sliced at her hair-roots.

*Schwing*

The hair-mutant fell to the ground, and the mayor turned to me.

“Thank you so much. Aren´t you…”

“It does not matter” I interrupted. I had gotten tired of introductions.

“Mayor, can you please tell me if you have seen a red colt passing through here?”

“I think I saw somepony like that. He was headed towards Sweet Apple Acres, right through that forest-path over there.”

She pointed her hoof to a tree-filled path behind me. I started to sprint towards it.

“Thank you!” I shouted back.


My alicorn! What had I done? This place was quickly dissolving, and the only ponies who could fix this, might have become some unnatural abomination! As I sprinted through the path of trees, I felt all energy drain from me. Running that much was tiring, for someone who lived on sweets and hay. The ticket had been following me the whole way, refusing to give up pestering me. I finally exited the path, panting like a horse. Sweet Apple Acres looked devastated. Not mutating like Ponyville just deserted. A few feet away, I could hear yelling from the main barn. I speedily sprinted over there, while the ticket followed me.

I kicked the door in with my foreleg, and saw a ruined barn. The place was filled with holes, in the shape of a massive beast. The yelling was coming from on top of the roof.

“WHAT IN THE HAY DO YOU WANT!?”

Out of nowhere, somepony crashed through the roof. It was ASAP, with some strange device on his neck, and he was coming down towards me. I quickly rolled out of the way and he slammed right into the hay-covered ground. He quickly got up, and stared at me with big glowing red eyes.

“ASAP, what happened to you?” I asked foolishly.

“GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!” he roared back.

The thing on his neck, looked like a huge thermometer, and it was all the way up in the red. He charged at me. Once again, I sidestepped to avoid him. He crashed straight through the back of the barn. The whole thing came down on me.

I dug myself out of the pile of planks. When I got back on my feet, I saw Applejack standing a few feet away from me. She looked worried, but ready for a fight.

“You okay there?” she said when she spotted me.

I spat out the ticket that had hidden itself in my mouth, the coward.

“I´m okay. Were did that Pegasus go?” I asked.

“Oh you mean that meat train over there?” she pointed to the remains of the barn, where ASAP was standing, steaming with fury. As soon as he saw me, he charged at me again.

“Applejack, can´t you tie him up or something?” I quickly asked.

“I lost my rope in there.”

ASAP kept getting closer. I looked down at the ticket on the ground. It turned into a red rope, which I grabbed and threw it to Applejack.

“Here!”

She caught the rope, but it dissolved in her teeth, turning into paper again.

What a pain that thing was. I quickly ran over to Applejack, and took the rope in my mouth.

“How do I do this?

ASAP were just a couple feet away.

“Swing it behind you, and spin it in the air, until you got enough force, right?” Applejack explained. “And when you have enough, you let go of some of it, and swing it around his throat. Go on DO IT!”

I did as she said, and swung the rope, a few seconds before impact. I sidestepped away, while ASAP zoomed past me. I held the rope tight, and pulled as hard as I could. ASAP was struggling to get the rope off his throat, only choking him.

“APPLEJACK! BUCK THAT THING ON HIS NECK!”

She ran up, and kicked the thermometer to pieces. ASAP stopped struggling, his eyes returning to normal.

“Wha…what happened?” he said, obviously confused.

I pulled the rope off his neck, and threw it to the ground.

“You were very angry for a while, because of that thing on your neck.”

ASAP looked at his neck.

“AAH! What is that thing?”

“I don’t know. What happened when I fell down the hole?”

“Everything went wrong. The hole got so big all of a sudden, and it changed us all. Hodge was disfigured, and twilight…I don’t really remember much after that. How did you survive that?”

I stopped to think and wonder. Why was that?

“I…don’t really know. Maybe the black hole doesn´t want me. Am I that bad?”

“No. You just need to get your head straight about what you´re doing, you know?”

He was right. If I was to get through this madness, I needed more focus. I needed to throw that stupid ticket away, and find the others, before it was too late.

“You’re right. Listen ASAP, the hole has grown so enormous now, that it will swallow the whole world if we do not find the others.”

“Then let´s find ´em.” He quickly fired back.

I turned to Applejack.

“Applejack, you didn’t per chance see any red, scared, colts running around here?”

“Well, while I was busy defending my farm, I saw something run towards the wheat fields over there.”

Applejack pointed towards what I was expecting to be a field of knee-high wheat. Not the case at all. Instead, we were met by meter-high towers of wheat, all as thick as tree-trunks. Despite that, they still bended when the wind hit them. Their height made it impossible to see anything past the fields. I groaned loudly. There was always a way right?

“Ticket? Do you have any ideas?”

The scarlet piece of paper had been lying on the ground ever since I dropped it. When I finished my sentence, it seemed to come back to life, and dashed into my mouth. I could feel its shape shift in there; it felt like a piece of gum was trying to eat my head. It kept shifting, growing in size out of my mouth until I stood there with a nasty, saw-like device. It was motorized and kept turning and turning. Before I could do anything, it moved my head so that I pointed the device at Applejack and ASAP, who both had a confused look in their eyes. The thing just had something against everything but me. I spat it out, and as it returned to its paper form, I stepped on it.

“I don’t have time for your games, you wicked thing! ASAP, do you have any ideas?”

He smirked.

“With my flying skills, and your observing skills, we should be able to fly above those things and find Hodge down there.”

“Okay” I almost shouted while I climbed on ASAP´s back “giddy up, and away!”

As we launched into the air, we could hear Applejack shout.

“Guys, what in tarnation is going on?”


As we soared above the wheat giants, I looked out for any red pony-like mutants below. The wind was getting stronger, causing the wheat to bend over itself, and this made it a lot harder to see anything. I was just about to give up looking when I heard the voice of Traffic Cone.

“Help, we can´t find a way out!”

ASAP swooped down where the voice was coming from. Down below the wheat, sat Traffic Cone and what looked like Hodge Podge, hiding his face in the dirt. I dismounted ASAP, and we ran over there.

“HP!” ASAP shouted “are you okay?”

“You guys!” Traffic cone squeaked “you got to help! I can´t get him to leave!”

“Why, HP?”I asked “We do not have time for this; we have to get twilight so that you two can close the hole!”

Hodge turned his head to face us. It was…weird. He had no face, nor a head. A leg was placed where his head should be. That meant no horn to close the portal. But the worst was yet to come. He showed us his “hooves” on his forelegs. They had both been replaced by purple dragon-hands.

This was all very sad, but for some reason I started to laugh. Hodge looked so stupid with his head just dangling from his neck; it was like a stocking with a rock in it. ASAP also snickered a bit, but quickly stopped. Unfortunately, the thing that stopped me from laughing was not me, but the painful dragon-fist of Hodge, which hammered into my stomach.

“But then who´s going to close the hole with their magic?” ASAP asked, while I recovered from the surprise attack.

“Actually, we don’t really need HPs magic to close the hole,” Traffic replied “we just need to get Twilight to use a special technique we came up with.”

Traffic sighed.

“Problem is, only Hodge knows how to word it properly, because I don’t remember very well.”

“So, if we can just get Hodge to communicate with us somehow, he will tell us what to tell Twilight?” I pondered.

“That’s it!”

We all looked at each other. A storm had started brewing above. We could hear pieces of earth being ripped of the planet, and ponies flying towards the hole. I feared for my existence. I fumbled around the pockets of my jacket, looking for a magical solution. Let´s see, stupid tape recorder and…aha!

“Why not make him write it down, so that she can read it?”I suggested, handing HP the note book and the pen.

“Yes! That’s perfect!” Traffic proclaimed.

HP tried to pick the pen up, but dropped it again fumbling with his new hands. After a few seconds he started writing. It was sloppy, but he was a unicorn who had been writing using levitation his whole life. When he had finished, he handed me the notebook, and climbed up on ASAP´s back. Traffic followed, and finally I joined them. It was a rocky lift-off, but eventually we got back in the air.


The environment was already halfway ruined. The trees were getting pulled from their roots; houses were getting torn to pieces by sheer force pulling them in. In the horizon the only thing that was visible, was the humongous all engulfing black gateway. ASAP tried desperately to fly in the other direction, but it was hopeless. All he could do was slow us down by only flying slightly backwards. All we needed now was twilight. But nopony knew where she was. Trying to avoid the terror, I asked Traffic about the spell.

“How will it work?”

“What Hodge just wrote, is what Twilight must think of when she tries to close the portal. The more she concentrates on restoring Equestria, the more focused her magic should get.”

That was all nice, we only needed a purple unicorn and we would be saved. We had been navigating around all the flying debris for several minutes with no Twilight in sight. Suddenly, Twilights library hovered up in front of us. She was standing in the door, disoriented. Praise Celestia´s light!

“Twilight!” I shouted through all the noise. “We have found a way to close the hole! All you have to do is read this thing that hoof head here wrote, while you are casting the spell!”

Twilight looked at us. Or did she? As we drifted closer, I finally saw what the problem was. Her eyes kept shrinking and growing, shrinking and growing, large, small, large small.

“When I was struck by one of those beams, I ran home to look for a spell against it. When I arrived I found out I couldn’t see or read. I can barely even sense you guys.”

Twilight sounded hopeless. She really wanted to save the day, but she had been severely sabotaged.

“…Don’t worry. I will read it to you!”

It just kind of came out of me.

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but if I am going to be sucked into a black hole again, I will do it while trying the best I can!” I shouted.

“Yeah!” ASAP shouted. “Let´s deliver an Equestrian package to that thing!”

Traffic followed suit.

“YEAH!”

Even the faceless HP was feeling it, giving a scaly thumbs-up.

“All right” Twilight said smirking “let’s do this!”

We were only a few feet away from the void, and Twilight had been focusing her magic for the last few minutes.

“You can start reciting…now!” Traffic shouted.

I held the notebook up and started to read aloud.

“Think of the-“

The next instant, something knocked me off ASAP´s back. I landed on a hovering piece of dirt, a few feet below Twilight´s house. I got on my hooves, and saw who had knocked me off. The ticket was hovering right in front of me, completely ignoring the pull from the hole. I was running out of time.

“Twilight! Can you hear me up there?” I yelled as much as my tiny throat could take.

No answer. I started to read aloud anyway.

“Think of the majestic river running free, imagine the ponies running free again, all under the sun and the moon of our g-“

The ticket somehow slashed through the note-book, cutting it in half.

“TWILIGHT, JUST THINK OF EQUESTRIA AS IT WAS BEFORE THIS!”

The ticket flew past me, slashing into my fur with it´s sharp edges. It kept doing this, ripping my jacket to shreds. But I kept going. As we were about to be sucked in, I could see the light coming from Twilight´s horn becoming bigger and bigger, until it engulfed everything around me.


I awoke in my bed. It was still dark outside.

“Oh no” I thought. “Did I dream all that?”

I looked at myself. Beside my bed, was two halves of a notebook. I was still wearing the torn up jacket. I was delighted, as long as my tape-recorder had remained in my pocket…

I reached my hand in, and found nothing, but steaming hot sandwich containing hay and tomatoes.

The next morning I wrote a letter telling the squirts over at the paper that I was quitting. At the very bottom I wrote:

In the past weeks, I have realized that Ponyville brings me joy like no other. It mystifies, enchants, and wins me over every week. And I will dedicate my life to study the amazing ponies in it. So kiss my flank, and lick my hooves, because I have my own newspaper now.

See ya out there

Dirt Digger, Chief editor, founder, writer, and publisher of The Ponyville Express

Business As Usual

View Online

“Why do we have to go all the way to Manehattan?” Diamond Tiara asked. “You didn’t even bring anything to do.” She gave a pout. The train caught a slight hitch, bumping it and causing her to yelp.

“It’s business, dear,” her father said. “You can’t make a big decision over the phone. It’s not personal enough, not” — he paused and looked about — “intimidating enough.” Another hitch. “It’s where the real game’s played. Writing letters doesn’t land you big deals, doesn’t let you know who you’re dealing with.”

“Whatever.” She nestled her head into her folded forelegs. “You could have at least gotten us a better ride. How’s showing up in a stupid train going to look for you?”

Filthy laughed. “Keen observation. You will make a good businessmare yet. Of course we are not arriving in this train, and certainly not on foot. We shall get off a stop beforehand and take a carriage from there. Efficiency, dear.”

Diamond Tiara flipped about. “Well, if you’re going to bore me with this trip, at least bore me with the details.” She then added, “But don’t make it a lecture, please.”

He thought for a moment, and then began, “Our store is a retailer. Retailers need goods. Buy low, sell high — that’s the simple stuff. Buying low means buying in bulk. But buying in bulk is bad for cash flow, bad for management. You can’t buy thousands of items off the cuff, and just as well you can’t store them, so you make a deal to take them in hundreds. Then you’ve got tax to worry about. Profits are taxed. Sell a suit for a hundred bits, fifty profit. That’s fifty taxed. So what do we do?” Diamond Tiara gave no response to his prompting, so he continued, “You offer for a thousand, write them off on tax, and then cut the deal once you reach half that. Zero profits, zero tax.” He stopped looked to see if she was still listening.

She sighed. “Yes, I’m listening.”

“Good. So I guess you’re wondering how you cut the deal, then? That’s where the real business acumen shines. Different methods work on different people. There are a lot of weak executives who give in to a guilt trip. All it takes for them to cede is a sorry story about poor sales and potential layoffs. Then there are the ones blinded by a good deal, who never learnt the phrase ‘To good to be true’. Offer them sixty up on the fifty dollar suits. Say it’s for the great service, or say it’s a ‘business incentive’, or say you want the shipments quicker — just anything to get them to up the price. As soon as it’s up, cut. They’ve broken the deal. Try to sue for damages if possible, if you can find some demonstrable loss in cash flow. That’s why it’s good to go in person. Paranoia about recordings is standard, so the amateurs don’t get suspicious when it’s not down in writing. People make big mistakes when big money is involved; they let it slide when they think they’re getting a bargain; they don’t ask questions if they think that it’s going to cost them. The details complicate once the scale gets larger; you leave longer trails, gaps in transactions, red herrings — all that good stuff. And that’s what makes it so hard to track. The most important part of business is staying in control.”

Diamond Tiara yawned. “Sounds very interesting, daddy.”

“Indeed it is, dear.”


The carriage officer departed from his vehicle and walked over to unlock Filthy’s door. “Sir.” He then unloaded the luggage, and as he presented it to Filthy, he said, “We thank you for your patronage, sir?”

“Rich,” he replied, reaching into his business suit. “Here’s my card. Charge it to my estate.”

The officer loosely analysed the card before pocketing it. “Excellent, sir. Shall we be waiting here, or shall your endeavour extend into the night?”

Filthy picked up his bags. “The night,” he lied, and walked off into the hotel, Diamond Tiara following closely behind. He pressed his hoof on a panel and waited, standing straight. “Now, when we’re in the executive’s office, you just sit there and look sweet. Pay attention to the details. You could learn a thing or two.”

She rolled her eyes. “Why do I even need to be here? Couldn’t I stay home with mum?” She pruned her hoof through her mane. “And why didn’t we bring a comb?”

“It’s a good experience, dear,” he said, half ruffling her mane. “And your hair looks fine.”

A well-attired attendant opened one of the large, ornate double doors and greeted them. “Come on in, Mister Rich. Mister Bits is expecting you.” The attendant had a slick comb-over not unlike Filthy’s, but on a younger stallion, and especially with that checkered, yellow-white tie, the look didn’t quite work.

Filthy lead himself and his daughter inside without much acknowledging the attendant.

“Right this way, sir,” the attendant instructed. He lead them into an elevator and quickly slapped a few dials. They reached the seventeenth floor. “Right this way, sir,” he said again as he continued to show the way.

A great, jolly stallion suited in a sharp, black outfit accosted them in the hallway. “Rich, my good man! I was told you had arrived. I haven’t seen you in awhile. I’m glad you could make it.” He then turned to the attendant. “Esquire, thank you for escorting our guests. Let us be for a quarter while we get reacquainted.”

“Very well, sir,” the attendant responded, and then went back to the elevator.

The jolly stallion placed a foreleg on Filthy’s shoulder, and they resumed walking. “So, Rich, how have you been? How’s Mrs Rich? How’s the little girl?” He looked down at Diamond Tiara. “You haven’t surpassed him already, have you? Haha!”

Filthy chuckled. “Well, if I don’t keep up with her, she might.” Diamond Tiara lifted her head up high with a smile at the compliments. “Business has been good. All the lunacy in town attracts plenty of tourists. And from what I hear our stores in Canterlot are doing exceptionally.” They reached the meeting room.

“That is good to hear,” the suited stallion said, unlocking the door to an office with the label Golden Bits. It was laden with typical office things — an analogue clock, filing cabinets, a large desk in the centre-back with a protruding chair tucked underneath and various lower chairs left on the other side, pictures of family, limp and unkempt pottery, stacks of paperwork and stationery, a trash bin filled with nothing but papers. Bits walked over to the door on the right side, opening up a large meeting-room. The room consisted solely of a single rectangular, curved, oaken table dropped right in the middle of said room. Bits sat down on a seat at the back of the room and beckoned his guest do the same. The room had a glorious view over the whole city landscape through its great glass walls, to which Diamond Tiara went over to gawk out of. “It’s a lovely view, is it not?” Bits remarked.

Diamond Tiara attempted to regain her composure and replied, “Yes, I think so.”

Bits had a hearty laugh at her mannerisms. “Certainly you will be a strong mare when you are old. Come, take a seat with your father then, and we shall talk of friendly things.” He looked over at Filthy. “So, you tell me that the business man Rich be a successful businessman, yes? Ah, but indeed, I expect that of the business man Rich. Instead I ask what of the family man Rich? What of the neighbour Rich?”

“Oh yes,” Filthy replied. “We’re doing fine. The wife is well able to handle running the local store, and she’s very understanding of my constant business trips. Ponyville is very much a country town, and most everyone knows everyone. It helps to have a good attitude around the locals, if only for the goodwill that it brings.” He looked over to his daughter. “Diamond Tiara has been doing well in school, or at least her teacher tells me, and she and her friend spend most days playing or working together on something. I’ve had quite a few good opportunities to speak with said friend’s parents, too.”

Bits thought for awhile on what to say. “I guess it is unfair of me to ask such personal things when, after all, what you are here for is business. I understand that, friend, and so will ask no more of such things. Move on then, shall we, to the order of business. In not much time we should have the rest of our visitors arrive; however, I understand that we have things of our own to discuss.”

Filthy pushed his chair in and leaned forward. “Yes, we do,” he began. “Well, more specifically, there are some things you must know of how I plan the meeting to go.”

“I’m listening.”

“With the last quarter ended, I’m sure you’re aware of our contract between Mister Bags. We’ve received just a small overdraft of half, and now is the time to,” he paused, “make the cut, so to speak. He’s gullible; some story of financial troubles should be enough to trip him up. Now, this ties in nicely with Mister Platter. Mister Platter’s contract went through some higher level firms, so we keep him close; we say that we have to choose between him or Bags. They’re both in the same room, so it looks plausible.”

“Haha!” Bits interjected. “I like the way you think, Rich.”

“Now, of course, this is where you come in. I quite like Mister Bags’ deal, and he very much does deal in specialised goods, so I’d like to keep taking in his shipments. This is quite unfortunate, since the price of keeping him is also just as high. So I leave it upon you to peddle the resources to me. How does five percent sound? Quite good really, since you’ll just be interim — no need to get more people on it. All it is is a bit of paperwork.”

Bits let a grand exhale loose from his thick chest and pondered for a moment. He then leaned forward to speak and said, “Sounds interesting, my friend. I assume you have the proposal written up, then?”

“Of course,” he replied. Filthy plopped his suitcase onto the desk, fiddled a bit with its hinges, retrieved a yellow sheet from it, and handed the sheet over to Bits. Bits analysed the sheet briefly before placing it down and said:—

“Excellent, I will be happy to oblige.” A buzz came from a small dial beside Bits. “Ah, that should be Esquire to take drinks.”


“Welcome, Mister Bags, Mister Wads, Mister Platter,” Bits said to his guests. He pointed them in Filthy’s general direction. “Mister Rich and his daughter, Miss Tiara, are already seated and ready. I believe we can begin shortly. Please allow a few minutes while I organise some things. If you need refreshments, Esquire will accommodate.” The businessmen all shuffled about and took their seats. Most, on making themselves comfortable, flipped open their suitcases and ran through paperwork. One accosted Esquire and requested a “strong coffee, no sugar.”

Diamond Tiara tugged on her father’s coat. “What happens now?”

“Just watch, dear. If you’d like to occupy yourself, you can take notes.” He handed her from his suitcase a blank sheet, which she listlessly pushed back to him. “Suit yourself. Just remember to keep a keen eye. The devil is in the details.” As he had otherwise nothing to deal with, Filthy, sieving through and scribbling on random documents, feigned the appearance that he too was working through some paperwork.

Shortly after, Esquire, carrying a tray of assorted beverages, and Bits reentered the room. “Ah, at last we may begin,” Bits remarked, taking his centre seat. “Now I’m sure you are all well informed on each other’s politics, so we need not bother with introductions. We shall instead move along swiftly. What is the first order of business, then?”

The scrawny, silver-coated stallion with a trebled set of platters as a cutie mark said, “I would like to begin by saying how much I am enjoying our current arrangement, Mister Rich. I have a few offers that I believe we could finalise later on in private. I have preliminary outlines prepared if you would like to get a briefing.” The stallion handed a small stack of papers across the table. Filthy took the papers and began perusing through them. “And I must apologise. While it should be expected of me, I am not too well versed in Mister Bags’ affairs.”

On the remark, the milk-white stallion first gave a slight grimace, but soon after removed it. “No apologies needed,” he said, giving an awkward laugh. “I need not so desire that everyone know much of me or my business.”

“Well,” Filthy said, “it is my misfortune that I must present some weak news regarding my own affairs. My business is not going over too well, and, without mentioning other things, the goods I acquire from Mister Bags are not at all selling as much as first expected. I understand the contract terms, but would request kindly that we stagnate the delivery to more spaced intervals. I believe I could compensate a good price in exchange; cash flow is the main stress on me right now.”

Bags raised a foreleg to his chin and thought for a moment. “Is it not easier for you to take out a loan?” he asked. The

“I’m afraid not,” Filthy replied. “I am first a family man, see” — he made a gesture towards his daughter — ”and the wife is perhaps not as forgiving to such endeavours as I would hope. I have borrowed what I can to keep my contract between Mister Platter, but I cannot carry out both, and Mister Platter’s produce gives me a much steadier cash flow. I hope you understand.”

Wads leaned back on on his chair and let loose a slight smirk. “How unfortunate,” he said. Diamond Tiara gave him an incredulous stare.

Bags erred and scratched his head. “I suppose we could figure something out. What numbers were you thinking of?”

“Delay the next shipment by two weeks, and space the next ones two more weeks apart also,” Filthy responded. “I’ll raise the payment by seven percent.”

Bags shuffled through a few pieces of paperwork and said, “I suppose I can adhere to that.” He then wrote a few scribbles on some loose paper and placed them back in his portfolio.

“So,” Bits began, “of my business then shall we begin. I’m sure you’re all aware of the changes, or lack of, rather, in my own matters. I am of the interest in changing these things, as mere satisfactory margins are not ones that I mean to strive for. I ask particularly to you, Mister Bags, since you may be in need of some more business now, for some patronage of some of your more... unsavoury wares.” He forced his head strong and high and focused. “I’ve drawn a few preliminaries that should give you the idea. It is quite extensive, so I give you time to fully come to terms with it.” Bits took quires from his suitcase and handed them across, which Bags received and began examining. Wads then let again a grin and light chuckle come upon him and said:—

“Well then, it seems it should be my turn.” He turned and directed himself at Filthy. “I am in the interest of purchasing, in full, Rich’s Barnyard Nobles and all of its subsidiaries. I’m also quite aware that your business, Mister Rich, is not publicly traded, and so have set mt own price, which I and my associates find quite generous, for its acquisition.” He handed an unsigned cheque over to Filthy. “I’m sure you will agree.”

Filthy took one quick glance at the cheque before his countenance dropped to half disbelief and half indignation. “You cannot be serious.”

“I think you’ll find,” Wads said, sharpening his face, “that we are quite serious.” He turned his head to stare for a moment at Diamond Tiara and smirked, and then turned back to Filthy. “We would greatly appreciate your cooperation in this acquisition.”

Bits quickly stood up from his chair and pushed a button neath his desk. “Mister Wads, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” He motioned to the door with his hoof. “Esquire, please escort our guest out of the hotel.”

Wads’ grin turned to a frown, and then quickly forced back to a smile. He looked at Filthy and said, “It’s a one-way ticket, Mister Rich. Where that ticket leads you—”

“Mister Wads!” Bags slammed his hooves on the table. “I’ve asked you to leave.”

Wads snorted. “Well, if you insist.” He rose from his chair and lead himself out of the room. As he made his exit, he called out to Filthy, “I do hope you will reconsider.”


“Are you sure you’ll be all right, Rich?”

“Yes, I’ll be fine. Trust me. I’m sure you’re getting worked up over nothing.” Filthy picked up his suitcase and held up his daughter’s hoof. “Come on, dear. Let’s go.” He then turned back to Bits and said, “Thank you for having us. Your hospitality is much appreciated.”

Bits placed a hoof on his shoulder. “Take care, friend.”

Filthy and Diamond Tiara left the hotel and walked out into the street. The sun was beginning to recline behind Canterlot’s great mountains. “Mum’s expecting us home soon. The station’s this way, dear. Stay close; peak hour traffic in this city can be chaotic.”

“Relax, daddy,” she said back to him. “I’m not going to get lost.”

When they arrived at the station the crowd was bustling about. The train to Ponyville arrived and they quickly took their seats before they became occupied.

An announcement resounded throughout the train: “Attention passengers. This train is being rerouted to the Canterlot line. If you wish to travel down the Fillydelphia line, the train arriving on the other rail will accommodate. Thank you.”

“Come on, honey.” Filthy grabbed Diamond Tiara’s hoof and trotted out of the train. Working-class ponies all stirred and rushed about, pushing and shoving their way through to get to their destination.

“The trains will be leaving in one minute.”

Filthy quickened his pace, and in doing so his hoof lost grip with Diamond’s. He turned back around to catch glimpse of her, but she had already seeped into the crowd. Looking about in all directions, he galloped back through the crowd as fast as he could, crying out her name. He got back to the first train and then stopped and span around. He began to sweat. He felt a hoof press up against his mouth and nose, and another against his throat. Then everything went black.


Filthy woke up tied to a chair, his forelegs to the chair’s back and his hind legs to the chair’s feet. His eyes could make out little beyond the blurry barrier of tears and waking dew that clouded his vision. The room was small and lit only by a single hanging light-bulb. Sans the systematic dripping of water every few seconds, there was no sound in the room. He tried to rub his eyes clear on his shoulder, but it only served to make them foggier. He could barely make out some peeling plaster of the walls. The dripping water echoed against the walls like it were a tunnel. He shuffled about in his chair for a short while, but the bindings on his hooves soon began to bore into them, almost causing them to bleed. His eyes regained some clarity, but from the added detail all he could make out were murkier walls.

A door from behind swung open, its metallic structure banging against the walls as it made a full opening. “Well, well,” a masked stallion called from the entrance as he walked into the room. “It seems our friend is awake. How are you, Mister Rich?” He laughed as Filthy made some incoherent mumbling through the tape covering his mouth.

“Nothing to say, eh?” He laughed again. “Well then, I guess I’ve got nothing to say neither.” He placed his hoof neath Filthy’s chin and lifted it, lining up his jaw. His hoof moved to strike, but on the last second changed to slam Filthy hard in the stomach.

Filthy flailed about as much as his bindings would let him.

The masked pony repeatedly shushed him in a patronising manner. “Don’t waste all your energy, lad.” He again lifted Filthy’s chin, but this time Filthy began to thrash his head about in protest. “Whoa there! calm down or you’ll” — he grunted, slogging Filthy in the chest — ”hurt yourself.” He lined up the jaw again, and this time Filthy simply whimpered to soften the blow. One punch, two, three. Filthy’s head became like a rag doll. Three more blows to the face — the assailant had to wipe some blood from his hooves. One more, and Filthy’s mind receded from consciousness.

The assailant turned and walked out the room. “Clean him up.”


Filthy awoke, lying in a dark alley way by the curb like a bum. A long carriage drove up next to him, parked, and opened its doors. Mister Wads greeted him from inside. “Oh my, whatever did happen to you, Mister Rich?” He offered a hoof. “Please, come in. I’ll get you to where you need to be going.”

Filthy didn’t respond.

Wads moved aside, revealing Diamond Tiara sitting next to him. “Please, Mister Rich.”

Filthy got in the car and sat next to his daughter, hugging her. “Are you okay?”

Diamond Tiara hugged him back. “I’m fine, daddy. What happened? I thought I’d lost you. Where’d you go?”

Wads half coughed into his hoof. “Sorry to break up this reunion — it truly is quite touching — but I am wondering if Mister Rich has reconsidered our agreement.”

“I’m fine, dear,” Rich said, answering his daughter. Then, holding her closer, he sniffed and raised his head. “This is foul play, dirty business. I didn’t think there was such scum in this country.”

“Oh? That’s rich.” Wads stifled a laugh.

Filthy scoffed. “I play by the rules.”

“What difference does it make, Mister Rich? We’re both liars. Why bother claiming a moral high-ground when you’re just as guilty as I am?” He grabbed a glass of wine from the nearby mini-bar and took a sip. “Needn’t I remind you that you’re in no position to chastise me.” He placed the glass of wine back in its cellar. “So I ask again: have you reconsidered my offer?”

“I’ll be ruined.” Filthy spat. “It’s outrageous. I make as much in less than a year.”

Wads sighed, then turned and grinned at Diamond Tiara. “Daddy’s not a very quick learner, is he?”

Rich shot up and pointed his hoof at Wads. “You touch her! and I’ll—”

“Whoa, whoa, calm down. No need to get physical. Let’s not be doing things that we might regret, hm?” He had a sadistic laugh to himself.

Filthy remained vexed and silent.

“You really are quite a bore, aren’t you?”

“Sod you and the horse you came out of.”

“Now, now, Mister Rich — Filthy, is it? There’s no need for such language. You said it yourself; you’re a family man. So just sign the papers, go home, and be the family man.” He took a piece of paper from a desk and handed it to Filthy. “Then we can put this whole ordeal behind us.”

Filthy stared at the paper. He saw the cash settlement written in big strong letters staring at him, taunting him. He gritted his teeth. “Get me a pen.”

A sardonic grin grew on Wads’ visage. “Of course.” He grabbed a pen from the same desk and handed it over.

“Take us to a phone booth,” Filthy said. “And I’ll sign it.”

“As you wish.” Wads leaned over to talk to the driver. “Hey! take us to a phone booth.” He took the same glass of wine back out from its cellar and took another sip. “I’m so glad that we could come to an agreement.”


Filthy pressed the button to Bits’ estate.

“Daddy,” Diamond Tiara began, “Why did you sign it? You signed away everything!”

“No,” he replied. “I scribbled a signature on it. He won’t get anything. But we need to get this sorted fast before he realises. Just be patient, dear.”

So they waited.

“What are we waiting for?”

“Help? I don’t know.”

And waited.

And waited.

Filthy stomped his hoof on the ground and slammed the button. “Luna dammit! He’s blackballing me.” He yanked Diamond Tiara’s hoof and lead her back into the carriage. “Come on. I’ve still got other people I can talk to.”


“This is indeed an interesting predicament, Mister Rich.” Leaning over his desk, Mister Platter pressed his forelegs up against his cheeks. “But I do not see how you can expect my help. These ordeals do not have such a simple switch that could turn them off. If he is dealing with thugs, I don’t believe there is much I can do for you. You may simply want to get the authorities involved.”

Filthy rose and pressed his hooves on the desk. “It’s white collar; the authorities are useless! He’s threatening my family, and the proceedings could take months.”

“Well,” Platter began, “I believe it is safe to assume that if you go out tonight, you run a very strong risk of being caught by him again. He’s already looking for you if anything, and he’ll certainly have your real signature for reference this time.”

Diamond Tiara whinnied.

The two businessmen, somewhat bemused, turned to acknowledge her.

“Let them kidnap you,” she said. “The guard will get involved in that, won’t they?”

Platter chuckled. “She is a sharp one, isn’t she?” He wheeled his chair over to a filing cabinet. “I have the addresses of Wads’ estates here. But there are quite a few, so tracking you down may prove difficult.” He handed a list over to Filthy, who analysed it briefly.

“I can remember these places,” Filthy said. “But what about Diamond?”

“Oh,” Platter remarked. “She can stay here with me. She’ll be safe — don’t worry.” He wheeled his chair back to the desk. “So here’s the plan...”


A taxi pulled up beside Filthy on the street. The back door opened, and a masked goon jumped out and dragged him into the wagon. Wads sat on the other side of the cabin with a profusely dissatisfied look on his face. “Why do you try and mess with me, Mister Rich? This is my town. You mess with me, and I fuck with you.” Wads threw a pen and sheet of paper at Filthy. “Fill it in — properly, this time.” He chugged a whole glass of wine and went to his cellar for a refill.

Filthy chuckled. “You really are an idiot. Do you think, even if I did sign this, that it would hold in court? Ever heard of duress, you gutless lout?”

Wads threw his wine glass in Filthy’s direction, smashing it on the carriage’s window. “Don’t play coy with me. I know you’re daft, but please. What did I just tell you? I own this town. No court will ever convict me. You’ve got nothing save for a terrible business decision — the one which you’re just about to make — to back yourself. People — stupid people, like you — make terrible business decisions all the time.” He grinned, then added, “Especially when I’m involved.” He grabbed another wine glass and began filling it. “So please, sign the damn paper. I have better things to bother with than some hick country-pony.”

“Oh, I’ll sign it.” Filthy smirked and scribbled his signature on the paper. “But I don’t own any of Rich’s Barnyard Nobles anymore.”

Wads raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Yep. Signed it all away.”

“To whom?”

“That’s none of your business really, is it?”

Wads walked over to Filthy and threw his hoof at him, the tip barely escaping Filthy’s nose. “I told you, boy, don’t play coy with me. Everything you do is my business. Give. Me. A name!”

“Well, if you insist,” Filthy replied, “I sent it all to Mister Platter.” Filthy pushed Wads’ hoof out of his face. “Oh, and the guard are tracking you. I think you might even be able to see them from your window.”

Wads stood completely frozen for a moment. His mind then came back to reality, and he punched Filthy in the jaw. As he went and looked out the window, his own jaw dropped. “Son of a...”

“Hey,” Filthy said, cleaning some blood from his mouth. “What were you saying about ‘owning’ this town?” He cackled

Wads threw his hands at the door. “Get him out of here!” he ordered to the goon sitting beside Filthy.

The goon grabbed Filthy with his horse-like hooves, opened the door, and tossed him out into the street. Filthy reacted quickly enough to avoid his head banging on the curb, but still tumbled heavily across the bitumen. The taxi drove off into the distance, with the pegasus guard trailing not too far behind.

A carriage rolled up and parked next to Filthy. Diamond Tiara was inside with a grim countenance and, seeing his bleeding lip and scathing wounds, gasped. “Are you okay?”

He got inside the carriage and shrugged the injuries off. “I’m fine, dear.”

“Mister Platter sent me off in this thing, and he gave me this.” She handed him a letter:

Dear Mister Rich,

I hope this experience has taught you a little something about business. Although I fear this lesson may have come too late for you, as, as we all know, without capital there is no business. I thank you for allowing me free reign to liquidate your assets. Perhaps in future under such heated circumstances you will consider exercising a little more caution in your decisions.

I do have some heart, however, so I have returned your daughter safely and have arranged this carriage to take you back to Ponyville. I suggest you stay there. You are clearly not suited for dealing with proper businessmen.

Cathartically yours,

—Silver Platter

A Weekend At Fluttershy's

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“So, I think I’ve got it. There’s a list with instructions to feed the animals on the coffee table, the animals can exercise themselves and they’re all toilet trained, I’ve just gotta throw the litter tray away at the end of the day. That everything.”

“Yes, that’s everything. I’d just like to thank you again for doing this Rainbow Dash. It’s so kind of you to look after my house for me. I can’t believe what you must be giving...”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, you’re grateful. Now go and see your family already. Your animals will be alright with me,” Rainbow Dash stated, lifting a hoof to her chest and standing tall.

Fluttershy leaned forward and pulled Dash into an embrace, “Thankyou so much. Have a nice weekend. Oh, and beware of Angel; he gets a bit worked up when I’m gone.”

“Don’t worry, I can handle him.” Dash rolled her eyes as Fluttershy pulled away and gave her a shy smile accompanied by a small squeak.

Turning to leave, Fluttershy faltered before turning back to Dash.

“Oh, Dash, one last thing. Don’t go down into the cellar.”

“How come?”

“No reason. Just please don’t, if you don’t mind...”

“Sure. Whatever.” Rainbow Dash inspected her hooves with a look of indifference.

“Okay, bye.”

“See ya.”

Dash just watched as her friend took off and started making her way towards Cloudsdale, which shimmered under the last light of sunset. Eventually Dash turned towards the house and made her way inside, remaining wary at the mysterious absence of Angel.


“Three of a kind, aces.”

Angel’s beady eyes bored holes into the cards before his face dampened into a sulk and a look of concession passed over him. Laying down his cards, he harrumphed at Rainbow Dash. He had a ten, joker, queen, king and an ace, all of clubs.

“Hey, that’s a royal flush...”

Looking up, Rainbow Dash noticed the malicious grin plastered onto Angel’s rabbitical face. With a paw outstretched, he gestured towards Rainbow Dash’s pile of bits. She huffed and slid half of them into Angel’s pile, which dwarfed hers by comparison.

“That’s it, I’m out.”

Angel scowled at her.

“I’m not losing any more money to a rabbit,” Dash grunted, pulling herself off the floor. She stretched and idly looker around.

“Now what?”

The sound of her voice echoed in the room despite the low hub-bub made by the animals.

“You’re all fed, you’re all exercised and you’re all boring.”

No animal gave her a second glance; all were too deeply involved in sleeping or pruning themselves. Rainbow Dash began to look around, bobbing up and down on her legs, eyes searching. With a sigh, she trotted over to the door and, opening it, stepped outside. The morning was cool and invigorating. A soft breeze played through the trees, causing their leaves to shimmer in the sunlight. Her wings unfurled and without hesitation, Rainbow Dash took to the skies. She began to slowly circle Fluttershy’s cottage, gaining altitude as her path corkscrewed into the heavens. As she ascended she looked down, surveying the landscape.

The Everfree forest opened up before her, rolling into the distance, as far as the eye could see. Outlines of grand structures interrupted the flow of the undergrowth; mountain ranges piercing through the green skyline and desolate cities now overgrown. Even the ancient palace could be seen as a pinprick at the very limits of sight. Its spires penetrated the horizon, but were little more than twigs from such a great distance. With a sense of unease, Rainbow Dash began to descend again, circling like a vulture. Down and down she came, inspecting the cottage below her.

When she finally came in to land, she set herself down in Fluttershy’s rear garden. It was spacious and minimal. There was a flowerbed, a hen house and a picnic bench. Rainbow Dash began to pace, stopping every so often to kick at the ground or to fly a short distance. Eventually she came to a stand still and fell to her haunches. It was then that her eyes settled upon something she hadn’t noticed before: the cottage’s cellar door. Dark and subtle, it blended into the muddy ground which surrounded it.

“So you’re the door I’m not supposed to go through.”

Dash pawed at the grass beneath her hooves, drawing circles in the dirt as she dug her teeth into the fine cuisine that was her upper lip. She stood up with an air of determination, before faltering and sitting back down again. Her head swayed side to side, back and forth, rhythmically and harmoniously. Standing up again, her back arched and her neck rose and her face took on a look of sheer will-power. She sat down again. For the next five minutes, the cycle repeated itself. Every so often she’d take a step and get a little closer, but before she could take another she’d be back onto her haunches. Eventually, she found herself next to the cellar door. Her hoof moved towards the handle, before snapping back again. Shutting her eyes, she took a calm breath, before breaking into a fit of screaming obscenities.

After a short spout of anger, she collapsed onto the floor breathless. She composed herself and stood up, squaring her legs and spreading her wings.

“Alright, let’s do this!”

Dash took a step forward and, biting onto the door handle, she snapped her neck back. The door flew wide open, revealing the entrance way to the dark cellar. She paused a moment before descending into the gloom. A thick miasma permeated the air with the smell of rotting vegetation. In the pitch black of cellar, Dash couldn’t make out a thing. Light from the outside world seemed unable to get in. Waiting a moment, she landed on cold stony ground. As she stood there, her eyes became accustomed to the darkness, yet she still could not make anything out except for a small pinprick of light which appeared to be coming from somewhere to the left of her. Forgetting herself, she began to walk towards the light, her face taking on a look of bewilderment. What she expected to be only a short distance turned out to be a trek. Before she realised it, she had walked at least fifty feet from the entrance, and she was only half way towards the mysterious light in the distance.

As she walked, she began to become aware of what was around her. Her hoof-steps echoed with a cold, sharp tone but with a noticeable delay. The sound of dripping water could be heard and the air was moist and dank, with a stale taste. As she progressed, the smell of vegetation became more intense, yet the smell of mould and decay began to fade. Nearing the end of the tunnel, she was blinded by what became a n intense light. When she finally reached the end she had to pause again. This time to let her eyes began accustomed to how bright the light was. After a minute or two, she opened her eyes wide and looked out before her. She gasped and tensed up her body, not quite being able to comprehend what she saw.

There before her was a garden. The greenest, liveliest garden Dash had ever laid eyes upon. It was surrounded by trees of all kinds. There were willows, oaks, ash trees, fir trees, redwoods, and even a few palm trees. Each one was tightly packed next to its neighbours. Roots sprouted out of the ground and twisted and tangled between themselves, knotting into each other creating a labyrinth among themselves, seeking water. A river ran nearby, separating the garden into a small wooded area and a large clearing. The river was wide but shallow and slow, rolling lazily along, clear waters exposing the riverbed to the world above. Along the bottom of the river bed teemed fish and otters and all sorts of aquatic creatures each involved in an ecosystem so lively, it was more like a frenzy. Upon the waters were ducks, geese and swans fishing among for what lay underneath the waters. Though this was not the real center of attention.

In the center of the garden lay the large clearing. Its thick luscious grasses were home to the largest assortment of wildlife Rainbow Dash had ever seen. There were flamingos and wallaroos, lemurs and toucans, giraffes and foxes, badgers and elephants, baboons and gibbons, leopards and ostriches, komodo dragons and antelopes, sheep and sloths, ferrets and squirrels, tigers and raccoons and many more animals that Rainbow Dash could not even name. Each animal was peaceful, most basking in the warmth of the light.

Dash looked upwards, curious as to what the source of the light was. Towering above here were a series of cliff faces, separating the garden off from the rest of the world. Up above them the sky could be seen; a wonderful deep blue with rays of light slicing down from the late morning sun.

Opening up her wings, Dash lifted into the air and casually glided over the garden, basking in its beauty.

“Fluttershy sure does have a paradise down here.”

As she flew around, hovering and banking without a care, she noticed that over the other side of the garden there was a second entrance. She lazily made her way over, satisfaction overpowering curiosity. Coming to rest in front of it, she realized that it was almost identical to the one which she had come through, though the entrance was more like a cave. It opened up before her, spreading itself wide. She realized that the passageway she had come through had been larger than she had originally anticipated... far larger.

She slowly made her way forward, and then, she disappeared into the gloom. Another pinprick of light was visible up ahead. This time round she risked flying, though little more than a slight flap of the wings now and then to keep her speed up. It was a relatively quick journey. She soon reached the end of the tunnel and emerged into a dimly lit underground cavern. The walls were jagged and rough, as if they had been torn at. Gems and jewels jutted out from them, reflecting the light given by a small oil lamp at the top of the cavern. Everything around Rainbow Dash was brown. The colours of her mane burned in comparison to the dull, lifeless earth and far outshined the dirty jewels that were coloured sickly shades of greens and reds.

Rainbow Dash carried on walking through the large cavern. Shadows hung in the corners and vision was poor. She noticed another tunnel leading out of the cavern. It was, again, identical the others she had been through. Curiously, she made her way over.

Just before she entered the tunnel she heard a dull thud behind her followed by a sound that ran right through her.

“Hooooowwww...”

Turning her head, she saw it. Behind her stood a large imposing figure, with razor sharp fangs and blade-like claws. In one swift movement, she bought herself into a fighting stance, her prismatic mane flailing wildly and her dark pink eyes turning a deep shade of blood red. Anger furrowed her brow and determination gripped her body as she stood, ready to face the Diamond Dog that stood before her, saliva running down from its mouth and dripping from its chin.

“So, think you can take on me, huh.”

The diamond dog chuckled, its eyes bouncing in their sockets, failing to keep still. It gave a gruff bark and, at its command, a pitter-patter sparked to life as hundreds of its brethren fell from the ceiling, each diving from the shadows. Before Rainbow Dash stood hundreds of cruel, semi-sentient hounds each baying for blood.

Rainbow Dash wheeled around and, before she even realized, rocketed herself down the tunnel in desperation. A cold, threatening voice rang after her...

“We’ll be waiting for you, little pony.”


The ground had become solid under Rainbow Dash’s hooves. She had been pacing for about five minutes.

“If I go back now then I can probably make it past them, no problem.” Her voice was weak, soft. Glancing back towards the tunnel she had just come from, she gulped.

Rainbow Dash had now come to another cavernous area. This one was dim and bare, having merely the single entrance and nothing else in it. Except for the barred gate in the corner. It stood imposingly, about two pony heights tall. It was cast of thick iron and had a sign hung on it, bearing the single word...

Caution

“Well, let’s just hope that coming down here wasn’t a one way ticket.”

The gate seemed to grow larger with every step towards it. It looked old and dusty, covered with deep scratch marks of what Rainbow Dash hoped were Diamond Dog markings. A thick bolt ran from the gate, embedding itself deeply into the stone door frame. Small cracks and fissures spread out from where the bolt rested in the door frame. They looked like spider webs, some faded but some recent.

Dash flapped a few times, getting herself into the air and positioning her hind legs onto the handle of the bolt. With a crack, she snapped her hind legs straight, forcing the bolt out of the wall with a squeak and a clang. The noise carried into the dark room that lay beyond, returning in an echo seconds later. For a moment there was complete silence. Dash eyes widened a little, her breath becoming baited.

But then it started; a small growl and a rhythmic tremble. Dash backed away as the growling became louder, ringing through her ears. The further she backed away, the louder the sound became, until it was merely an intense torrent of noise. A pain ran up Rainbow’s spine as she turned her head and observed the edge of the cavern behind her. Turning back, she saw it for the first time. It’s nose poked out of the door, unable to get through. Instead, it began to weaken the door frame. With a cracking sound, the stone gave way and a massive section of the wall fell to the ground. It took some time before the dust cleared, but once it did Dash could finally see what had come through the now toppled gate.

With a gargantuan roar, the echoes of intense growling were blown away. Before Rainbow Dash stood a gigantic Manticore. Its legs were like pillars holding up its vast, muscular frame. Its tail towered above it, touching the top of the cave which held it. Its wings were jet black and sharp and sleek. The Manticore leaned from foot to foot, digging its claws into the rocky ground beneath it. The hair from its neck did not spread out like the mane of a usual manticore. Instead it hung loose, curling over its square face, reflecting the dim light of the cavern with a dusty red sheen. The Manticore’s eyes burned like coals and its fangs dripped blood.

Rainbow Dash cowered under the sound, holding her ears tightly closed. The Manticore began to walk towards her, its steps sending shockwaves through the earth and causing debris to fall from the ceiling. As it came towards her, it positioned itself in front of the exit. Rainbow Dash looked up at its face, twisted with anger. Instinctively she took to the air and flew towards the way out. The Manticore responded by opening its wings and rocketing towards her with supernatural velocity. It was closing in on her.

Rainbow Dash waited until the last moment. Just when it was upon her she darted to its side, banking into a corkscrew and weaving around the huge bulk of the Manticore. Her maneuver bought her up over the top of the Manticore, which howled with rage when it realized it had been cheated. It flailed its tail wildly causing Rainbow Dash to desperately dodge out of the way. She lost control, breaking into a spin before slamming heavily into the ground, her back breaking the fall. She felt her eyelids become heavy and darkness begin to seep into her vision.

“C’mon Dash, you can do this.”

Rainbow’s face contorted into a look of determination. She rolled and, one by one, placed her hooves firmly on the ground before lifting herself up again. The Manticore landed over the other side of the cavern and immediately spun round for another charge. Rainbow tried to open her wings up, but when she did a burst of pain shot through her.

“Arrggghhh...”

Her lip bled under the force of her teeth. She had no time to panic though. A small cloud of dust was all that was left behind as she set off down the tunnel which she had come through. The Manticore roared furiously and gave chase, reaching the tunnel with ease and barreling down it. It clumsily bounced from one side of the tunnel to the other, desperate to straighten itself up, yet too engrossed in the hunt to care.

With her heart pounding and her legs screaming, Rainbow Dash ran faster than she had ever ran before. She paid little heed to what lay ahead, her mind fixated on what was behind her. Stones and pot holes lined the tunnel, but she didn’t trip, she couldn’t afford to.

“C’mon Dash, gotta live up to your name.”

As the end of the tunnel neared, her heart began to run cold, thoughts shooting through her mind. She could feel the rumbles underhoof, sending shivers through her. The monstrous growl of the Manticore reverberated throughout the tunnel, the sound of its breath getting louder. Rainbow Dash sent up a prayer to Celestia and, focusing all her energy, she shouted and sped up. The blood steadily pulsed through her as her body screamed at her to stop. Entering into the light of the cavern, she let out a war-cry and burst forth.

Diamond Dogs fell from the ceiling, digging their razor sharp claws into the ground and baying for blood. They closed in on Rainbow Dash from all directions, but she did not falter. She focused and, just as one managed to close the gap in front of her, she leaped into the air. Training her hooves forward, she found her mark. The Diamond Dog opened its mouth ready to bite, but instead his face was met by Dash’s forehooves. His face caved in, crushing his eye and sending blood everywhere as his skull crumpled under the impact. Pain ignited in Rainbow Dash’s hooves, but she carried on, landing heavily and slowing a little. As she did, a Diamond Dog managed to sink its claws into her rear leg. She collapsed onto the floor, leg immobilized. Just as the Diamond Dog came in for the kill, it halted, sniffed and froze. Silence took over the cavern as the hounds looked among one another. Without another sound they fled in fright. The Manticore had entered the cavern.

Blood erupted into the air, covering everything. The howls and screams of Diamond Dogs fell upon deaf ears as Rainbow Dash focused through the pain and got to her good hooves. Her breath came in short spurts, and tears rolled down her cheeks. She hobbled as fast as her legs would take her, keeping her wounded leg tucked in closely to her stomach. The Manticore was delayed though, too busy enjoying the slaughter of all which tried to run away. Its claws ploughed through Diamond Dogs, ripping apart skin and bones and tearing off arms, heads and chunks of flesh.

“Not much further now...”

Rainbow Dash was making good pace. She was three quarters of the way to the secret garden when the sounds of the massacre stopped. With a roar, the sounds of rumbling began again, the earth unsteady under the weight of the pursuing beast. Dash’s vision was beginning to become cloudy. Blood dripped from her open wound. Finally, she made it into the garden, the vista opening up before her. Her mind guided her in the direction of the exit. She dared not take her eyes off the ground in front of her.

With a splash, she entered into the river, the wildlife parting before her. Her leg was briefly alleviated of pain under the numbing chill of the water, but she dared not stop. Pulling herself out of the other side, she hesitated momentarily as she noticed that the rumbling had stopped. She looked back.

The Manticore hovered there, over the water, flapping it’s mighty wings and looking down upon her with a malicious grin. It was covered, head to tail, in blood. Rainbow Dash looked down at herself, realizing that she too was covered in Diamond Dog blood. With a defiant snarl, she turned round and carried on hobbling away. The Manticore led out a breathless scream, too angry to make a sound. Its scream ended abruptly under the sound of squawks and defensive bird calls.

As Rainbow Dash made her way across the clearing she noticed that all the animals had disappeared. She could see some hidden behind trees. Snorting derisively, she continued as fast as her legs could take her. Tears kept rolling down her cheek.

Again there was silence, and then another roar as the Manticore began pursuit. Rainbow Dash broke out into a three legged gallop. Her rainbow mane clung to her head as beads of perspiration rolled down her forehead, stinging her eyes. She rocketed into the last tunnel, praying for another miracle. For every step of the Manticore, drops of water rained from the ceiling followed by lumps of earth. The light at the end of the tunnel neared, as did the sounds of the Manticore in his rage.

Reaching the end of the end of the tunnel, Rainbow Dash propelled herself out the cellar door and slammed it shut behind her. Her eyes darted around until they settled on the hen house. She scrambled over and dived in, scaring multitudes of chickens as she did. Rolling into a corner, she curled up into a fetal position and cradled her injured leg. Blackness enveloped the sides of her vision, the blood loss taking its toll. And then she waited.

The shakes of the earth stopped, proceeded by a hearty growl and the sounds of splintering wood and clods of dirt flying everywhere. A pattering could be heard on the roof of the hen house. The rumbling began again. A steady thud signaled the beast’s approach. There was a crack and sunlight poured in to the hen house from where the roof once was.

Rainbow Dash looked up at the monstrosity which loomed over her, deciding how to end her. With a flick of its paw, it raised its claws high above Rainbow Dash, blocking the sun by their sheer scale. Slowly it lowered them. Down they came, steadily towards her. With the lightest of touches Rainbow Dash felt them brush on her skin. With a roar that shook the foundation of the Earth, the beast cried...



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“Tag, you’re it.”

Trixie's Grand Finale

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Drip... drip... drip, a slow but constant flow of water dribbled into a small wooden cabin in the Whitetail Woods. Every drop splashed onto a blue unicorn's face, earning a grumble from the sleeping mare. The Great and Powerful Trixie rolled over with an incomprehensible mumble. As if in retaliation, the droplets of water sped up, bombarding her back with a chilling cascade comprised of cold water. Trixie's eyes shot open as the ice cold water made contact with her flank, leaping into the air with a shriek. Rubbing her flank, she tried to look around but everything was dark, too dark to see. Her eyes narrowed and her brow furrowed, a second later a bright orb of blue tinged light appeared at the end of her horn. She looked around furtively, which didn't take long due to the small size of her house, eventually spotting the source of her disturbance. A small hole in the wooden roof. With a sigh she turned to the small cramped end of her new home that was littered the remainder of her belongings. Another short burst of magic later and an old cooking pot sat at the bottom of the hole, slowly filling with rainwater. Each droplet made a hollow ringing sound that resonated with Trixie's soul. For a few seconds she stood there in silence, her brain hard at work behind her eyes, until she finally decided to see if Planks could help her repair the hole in the ceiling. Her smile quickly soured when she suddenly remembered the events of the previous week. There was no more Planks, there was no more Zeila, there was no more Melodia. Her old troupe had abandoned her, she had made the wrong decision and now she was paying for it.

She stood there silent again, contemplative. What can I do? she thought to herself, what was there left to do? I've lost everything I worked towards, one step at a time. My fame is gone, my family is gone, my only friend in the world has gone. Where did it all go wrong? I once had it all and now I have nothing. Tears began to force their way out of her eyes again, one of the strongest ponies around reduced to a sobbing simpleton.

"It's all your fault you know?" a voice in her head announced, a voice she hadn't heard in a very long time. "You could have been one of the greatest performers around, but you let your arrogance take control. Your own hubris was your undoing," The voice announced without a shred of pity. Each word rang truthful and cut into Trixie's spirit like a dagger. It was then at her lowest moment, when something abnormal happened. A thick purple fog seemed to descend into the cabin and surrounded her. The fog whispered to her, words of encouragement, words of persuasion, words of redemption. Trixie stood still for a few seconds as this new, different voice seemed to take control of her, empowering her and refilling her ego back to bursting levels.

"No... no! It's not my fault! It's... it's all their fault! All of it! Twilight Sparkle and her friends took my fame! Melodia took my family! The Canterlot Academy took my Silver-Scales! All of them were just jealous! Jealous of the power I control!" Trixie shouted deafeningly loud, "and I'll prove it, yes! This isn't the last they've heard of the Great and Powerful Trixie!" The other voice in her head tried to retreat from this sudden burst of unrestrained self-confidence, but the stronger spirit smashed the voice of reason away with a burst of fury. Trixie bucked open the door to the cabin sending it flying off of its hinges. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is back, for one last escapade!" she announced in an unnervingly powerful voice to the world. "I'm going to fix it all! Everything that went wrong! First I'll get back Silver-Scales, then I'll take care of my so-called family and finish up with meddling Twilight!" The blue unicorn threw back her silver mane and laughed with glee as these thoughts powered through her skull. She had found purpose again. Purpose in revenge.


A grey unicorn with a white mane trotted through the gates into Canterlot. Her worn brown cape covered up her cutie mark and her dull grey eyes betrayed no emotion. Saddlebags lay balanced across her back, stuffed full of various items. A grey unicorn guard on the gate waved her over and she complied without any show of feeling.

"Is this your first time in Canterlot, Miss?" the gold-armoured guard began with a welcoming smile.

"Miss Chroma, Mona Chroma," the unfamiliar unicorn replied, her voice careful and composed, "Is there a problem officer?"

"No, it's just with all the new threats that seem to be springing up every day we have to monitor everypony who comes in. All I need to know now is your home-town and date of birth and I'll issue you with your I.D scroll," the guard said in a clearly rehearsed voice.

"Hoofingt... Hooflyn, I'm from Hooflyn." She managed to keep her face expressionless but inside she was screaming at herself for almost slipping up badly there.

The guardspony's eyes narrowed a little as he scrawled that down before motioning her to continue.

"I was born on the twelfth Lunar, twenty-two Seed Cycles ago," she replied with considerably more confidence.

The guardspony nodded and scribbled it down with a quill. "One last thing and I can let you in, your cutie mark, if you'd please?" the guard asked sincerely.

It took all of her self control to hold herself together as she gently lifted the cloak. The underside of the cloak was bright purple and dotted with stars and moons in an array of colours.

The guardspony's eyes widened with surprise at the sudden burst of colour from the otherwise grey pony. He got a brief glance at her cutie mark and assumed it was a star and a moon. So he wrote that down onto the report. "Everything seems to be in order, Miss Chroma. Here is your I.D scroll, do not hand to this any other pony and keep it on yourself at all times while in Canterlot. Please enjoy your stay," the guard said with a smile as he waved her in.

The Great and Powerful Trixie trotted in through the gates and into the bustling metropolis that was Canterlot. Ponies were everywhere, the rich mingled with the poor, the famous with the unknown. If it wasn't for the proximity to the Celestial Guard then this would be the best place for someone like herself to hide. But she wasn't here for that, she was here to go on the attack, to reclaim what was hers. She set her sights on the distant high spires of Princess Celestia's Academy for Gifted Unicorns. This was the first step on her road to fixing everything. As soon as had Silver-Scales once more at her side, she'd be unstoppable again, she was sure of it. She cantered along the main road ignoring the other ponies as she passed them, too absorbed in her own world to pay any attention to these common folk.

As she drew closer to the university her illusion spell began to wane, flashes of blue began to break through the grey barrier on her fur, forcing her to stop and duck into a nearby alley. "Celestia damn it!" she shouted in rage, removing the cloak and stuffing it into her saddlebags. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply and then exhaled again. When she opened them they had regained their deep purple hue, a spark of inspiration crossed them as a smile appeared on her now blue again face. If the teleportation matrix is still intact... Trixie began to think. She then closed her eyes and her horn flashed a fluorescent blue, before she vanished into thin air.


With a pulse of blue energy Trixie reappeared in her old dormitory. She looked around with a genuine smile, she hadn't been here in a long time and old memories flooded her mind. She had always stood out amongst her classmates when it came to magic. Her spell-casting was far superior to many of their attempts, and she had always picked up spells quickly. But she learnt by example not by theory, as a result of this she found many of the more complex spells evading her, no matter how hard she had tried. She had gone from top of the class in the first two years to barely cutting it in the third year. Dragging behind the rest of the class, her lack of concentration had made her infamous among her instructors. When she had eventually given up and left a lot of them had cheered behind her back. A whole spectrum of emotions assaulted her, an unpleasant mix of boredom and fear blended almost seamlessly with excitement and happiness. She had almost forgotten about this part of her history.

"Stop reminiscing and start searching, Remember your brilliant plan and follow it," A voice suddenly snapped her out of her reverie, the same voice from earlier. "We are going to make things how they should have been, remember? We are going to fix reality, undo all the evil that has been done upon us. Pay them back for their jealousy and spite," the cold voice said persuasively, "we'll be more powerful than ever before, more powerful than Celestia herself, isn't that what you want?"

"More powerful than Celestia... yes," Trixie mumbled. "The Greatest and Most Powerful Trixie! I like the sound of that," Trixie shouted in glee. She then began searching for her secret stockpile of transmogrification potions. It was actually quite surprising how many times I had to use these, Trixie thought with a laugh. If you ever need to skip class then these are the things for you. Her horn flashed again, surrounding her old bed in a blue aura and moving it aside. She trotted over to the previously covered area and rapped her hoof against the wall. A hollow knock sounded in reply earning another self-satisfied smirk from the mare. She kneeled down, placing her horn to the false wall. Her horn pulsed brightly again and the compartment shot open. She let out a cheer of triumph as she grabbed a hoofful of the potions and placed them in her saddlebags. A quick glance back in the box confirmed that she had missed one, so she grabbed that one too and popped the cork. Lifting the glowing purple liquid to her mouth, she began to picture a small golden dragon with dazzling emerald eyes, the administrator's dragon. With this image emblazoned on her brain she took a deep draught of the liquid, draining the vial completely.

Trixie's eyes began to glow green, shooting rays of light outwards. She threw the glass vial onto the bed as her forehooves began to shake. She barely managed to wrench off her saddlebags before convulsions began to wrack her body, her dark blue fur beginning to lighten. Patches of gold began to shine through as she collapsed to her knees. Her snout began to extend and flatten, wrenching bone and reshaping it. She gritted her teeth in pain but only ended up biting her lip with her newly sharpened fangs. Blood poured out of her mouth as she fell onto her back. Her hooves began to split open, tearing into separate digits. Four on the forehooves, three on the rear ones. Trixie suppressed a scream of pain as her organs began to shift, bones rearranging in her body. It took all of her focus to prevent herself from screaming aloud, she hadn't done this in a long time and never for a non-pony. Her fur shined a brilliant gold as it began to harden, causing a burning sensation in her skin. Her pupils suddenly slitted as her irises exploded with green. Her forehooves formed complete clawed hands and her rear hooves formed complete clawed toes. Another shift from her spinal column caused her to clench her teeth again, this time more carefully so as not to pierce her lips. Her skin stopped burning but felt excessively dry and her tail, uncomfortably heavy.

Her slitted green eyes crossed as she gazed at her newly elongated golden snout. She rose to her newly formed feet and stood upright, then promptly fell over. "Curse these stupid toes!" she shouted aloud, once more trying to rise upwards. She placed her hands onto the bed and managed to pull herself upright once more, stumbling awkwardly but keeping on her feet. She put her new tail down to the ground and suddenly found herself more stable. So there was a trick to it, she thought as she smiled with her new-found success. She took a step forwards, then another, managing a slow stumble. Opening her saddlebags she checked how many potions she had left. Four purple vials blinked back, their luminescent glare was mesmerising but she shut the lid on the bag. She closed her eyes and her brow furrowed yet nothing happened. She tried once more, before realising with a cry that she would have to do it manually. With a grunt she roughly seized her saddlebags and tied them around her waist like a belt. "Show time," she announced aloud in a rough masculine voice, pushing open the doors into the academy proper.

She walked along the corridors a little awkwardly, but none of the ponies she passed seem to notice. This place was crawling with students of all ages, chatting excitedly as they walked to lessons. Every so often one of them would nod at her as she passed which she made sure to return with a false smile. Her unusual belt caught a few glances but nopony stopped to ask her about it. She continued down the immaculate marble corridors, this trek was like a nostalgia trip for her. Seeing the place that had been her home for three years was unnerving to her, but the voice inside her head kept her focused. She knew where she was heading. Take a left at the library here, walk up this flight of stairs, and first door on the right. Finally she was here, she could hardly contain her excitement as she pulled on the door handle and entered the room.

The room had workbenches lining every wall along with sets of tools hanging down from above. Cogs and gyros lay furnace scattered across the room in heaps, as if someone had started cleaning and then gotten bored halfway through. The furnace was lit and a half forged construct lay on a table, various components lay strewn around it, as if someone had wrenched its robotic guts out and thrown them around. She took a step forward and closed the door behind her. A silver dragon popped out from behind the half-built mechanism, goggles on his head and a tool belt around his waist."Goldie! What are you doing here? I thought you and the administrator were going to be out all day?" the silver dragon called to her, waving her over.

"I... was but then something happened," Trixie tried to stall for time as she approached the silver dragon. "Silver-Scales, I must apologise for my intrusion," she quickly changed the topic and switched into how she remembered the gold dragon speak from her old days.

"Oh no, you're not intruding. Actually you could be of some assistance. I've hooked the main rotary device to the crystal oscillator but every time I wire it up it causes a full blow-out. I need something to compensate for the induced current matrix without subjugating the main flow valve," Silver-Scales ranted, turning back to his work. This gave Trixie time to reach the workbench and, by the time he had finished speaking, stand right next to him.

"Have you tried switching the crystal out for a refractor diode?" Trixie suggested, straining to remember what little she could from her old dissertations.

"Of course I have, I'm not an amateur! No offence sir," Silver-Scales shouted incredulously then quickly apologised. "All it did was cause a fracture in the main casing. See for yourself, those cracks in the adamantium shell and the breaks in the runic propulsion system..."

Trixie's expression became more and more bored until she just shouted, "It's me Trixie!"

"Trixie? Impossible. Unless... unless... by Celestia! Tell me you didn't?!" Silver Scales eyes widened in horror as Trixie pulled a vial of viscous purple liquid from her saddlebag-belt thing. "Do you know how dangerous that is! Transmogrification is a level eighteen spell for a reason! Even the potions are a prohibited substance, how did you get hold of them?! Then again, only Trixie would have the lack of forethought to come up with a plan like this." Silver-Scales sighed deeply. "What do you want, Trixie?"

"To team up again! Just like old times, the two of us against the world. We worked so well together!" Trixie's draconic eyes lit up as she spoke of her glory days.

"No. You worked so well because I was behind you, fixing all your mistakes. What did I ever get out of it? There's a reason the Academy took me back, remember? You almost got us both killed with that growth spell!” the Silver dragon shouted angrily in reply.

"But, but, Silver-Scales! Remember all the fun we had, the Trottingham affair? That mismatch with the Griffon Empire?"

"Remember all the fun you had! I almost got killed by those griffons! And you practically abandoned me in Trottigham! No. Trixie, I won't report this transgression out of respect for the time we spent together. But if you do not leave this room in the next ten seconds." Silver-Scales paused to let out a sigh, "I'll call the guard on you."

To say Trixie was stunned would be an understatement, this was supposed to be the easy part of the plan. I mean who wouldn't want to be part of my team? Maybe... maybe I am wrong, maybe I did mistreat him, maybe it always was me. Self-doubt once again reared its ugly head.

"My turn," The voice inside her head announced as Trixie began to feel faint. Her dragon body started moving without her input and she couldn't stop it. She watched unable to do anything as her claws began to flex.

"Three, two..." Silver-Scales continued, his back turned. "One," he finished, turning around to see a claw flying at his throat. He was unable to stop the razor-sharp claws in time as they tore into his jugular. Blood poured from the huge gash in his neck, he tried to keep it in by clasping his claw around it, but the scarlet liquid forced its way between his fingers. He stared at Trixie, his eyes full of questions, his mouth trying to form words. He stumbled, falling onto his half-built contraption. The bright red liquid stained the copper machine red before falling to the floor, forming thick puddles. His body convulsed once more, then sat still, its muscles relaxed. The clawed hand around his throat released and fell limply to his side.

Trixie recoiled in horror and tried to scream but her body instead lifted its bloodied claw to its mouth and licked it, her only friend's blood entered her throat. She tried to gag and throw it up but her body refused to obey her. She screamed as loud as she could internally.

"Sleep!" the voice commanded. She suddenly felt weak, her eyelids began to droop and she collapsed into a deep sleep.


When she came to she was a unicorn again, but she still wasn't quite in control. She tried to stop herself from moving but her legs continued to trot along, heading to some unknown destination.

"Awake I see," the voice sounded even stronger than before. "Don't worry Trixie. I'm still sticking to the plan, next up was your old Romani friends, wasn't it?"

"No... you'll just kill them too," Trixie argued weakly.

"Oh come now, I'll give you a fair chance to convince them to apologise and all that. Murder is always a last resort. Besides, couldn't you tell that they had gotten to Silver-Scales? Did he ever act like that back in the day, hmm?

"No... no he didn't," Trixie mumbled confusedly.

"See. They got to him too, turned him against you. A stronger friend would've fought back, would've argued. But he succumbed to their wills, their wishes. He forsook your name to carve himself a nicer prison. He deserved all that he got."

"But... he was... he was still my friend,"

"No he wasn't. If he was your friend, he wouldn't have hesitated to leap at the opportunity to join you again. I did you a favour, trust me," The voice wheedled and wheezed.

"You're right," Trixie mumbled weakly. "You're right!" she repeated again, this time with gusto. "He was corrupted, why else would he not join me. It's the only thing that makes sense," Trixie shouted, her voice charged with confidence.

"Exactly. Now the Romani camp lies just over that hill. I'm going to give you control once more and we'll see how they respond. If you need my help, don't hesitate to call. Our combined power can solve any problem."

Trixie could suddenly feel again, nerve signals pulsing their electric charges back into her brain. She moved a hoof slowly and took a step forward. It felt good to be a pony again. The brisk air of an autumn evening filled her with feeling. She inhaled deeply, taking the scents of the forest in and holding them, before releasing them back into the air. A sudden nudge from inside her head made her jump. She lookied at the hill that the thing inside her had pointed out and gulped. Putting her best hoof forward, she began to scale the hill.

Less than a minute later she sat at the top gazing into the valley below. The exciting sound of tambourines and hoof stomping emanated from the forest below. A camp fire sat in a small glade surrounded by four wooden carriages. Eight ponies were stood around the fire, some stomping and some dancing. A quick melodic voice suddenly rang out, accompanying the fast paced beat. The voice of the head of this particular band of Romani, Melodia's voice. The very sound of her voice was a bitter-sweet thing to Trixie.

Once again she was assaulted by memories, once again they conflicted. The fun times back before the academy, when she had grown up. This had been her family after the tragic loss of her parents to a Manticore attack. Melodia had been like a mother, but as they were all earth ponies, except Zeila the zebra, they could teach her little of magic. They had refused her request to go to the academy but she had gone anyway. When she passed the examination with aplomb, it had been the proudest moment of her life but they hadn't shared that sentiment. Still they had allowed her back in when she left the academy, even accommodating for her dragon friend. They had allowed her to perform her magic shows, encouraged them even... until the accident. One of her fireworks had improperly detonated and sprayed fire onto the wooden caravans. Of the six strong convoy,only two had survived the deadly blaze. Fortunately nopony was injured, but the mistake had set them back considerably, and they had cast her out as a result.

"Focus! the voice suddenly shouted inside her head, its shout reverberating around her skull, "for the love of Discord, will you stop reminiscing every time we get close to the goal at hoof!"

Trixie shook her head, clearing her thoughts. She turned to pull out her cape and wizard hat from her saddlebags, only to find the bags were missing. She sighed loudly and trotted dejectedly down the other side of the hill. The folk music grew louder as she got closer. At the bottom of the hill a small wall of trees separated her from the camp. She put on her most confident, smug smile and upturned her nose before striding proudly through the undergrowth.

The music suddenly stopped as she strode conspicuously into the centre of the camp. All of the ponies stopped what they were doing and turned to look at her. Melodia trotted forwards to meet her.

"Trixie Lulamoon, do our rules and customs mean nothing to you?" Her thick accent clearly marked her out as a Romani. "You break our trust, destroy our homes and don't even have the decency to stay out of our lives," Melodia shouted, her voice charged with anger.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is here to accept your apology!" Trixie announced unabashedly.

"Our apology... our apology! You... you... you..." Melodia's voice trailed off as she began to visibly shake, her forehead bulging with anger.

Noticing this Zeila stepped forwards and motioned for Melodia to back off. Melodia grumbled something vulgar under her breath and trotted back. Zeila began to advance towards Trixie, until she made eye contact. With a scream, she suddenly leapt backwards onto the floor. "A demon! A demon!" she screamed out loud.

"I am no demon!" Trixie shouted, her eyes wide.

"She's been possessed! Listen to my request! Grab her my friends! She must be cleansed!" the zebra shouted hysterically.

"My turn?" the voice asked inside her head.

"Wait! They still raised me, they're still family!"

"Corrupt! Look, at the way they surround us! Look at the hatred in their eyes. Listen to the venom in their shouts. Would they revile you so if they still cared for you," the voice was mesmerising, its slow drawl boring into her mind.

"No... no! They raised me, they...

"They cast you out. They disgraced you. They tried to stop you from achieving greatness and then they kicked you out after you achieved it. They are the enemy."

"They... they did didn't they?" Trixie muttered, conflicted. As if on cue their body suddenly came under attack, a vicious kick in the gut from a hoof. She fell sidewards, screaming in pain. Another kick punctuated her other side as she rolled over.

"Let me deal with them. Our powers combined could easily neutralise the threat they pose," the voice whispered inside her ear.

"No... they still... Argh!" she cried as one of them stomped on her head.Suddenly they all stepped back and Melodia trotted forwards, holding a large rock in her hooves.

"Last chance," the voice whispered again. Melodia's wicked grin and the glint in her eye betrayed her intentions. For Trixie, it was now a case of life or death.

"I grant you permission," she whispered breathlessly.

"Good," the voice replied tersely. All of a sudden she felt strength like she'd never believed possible. Her horn pulsed with red energy and grew longer and pointier before her eyes. The rest of her body also grew, though not to the same proportion. Her fur darkened into an even deeper blue, the colour of the sky at dusk. With a loud roar she leapt to her feet stabbing upwards with her now sharpened horn. Melodia held the stone between them but the horn burst through, exploding the rock into dust. The horn continued on its path and embedded itself in Melodia's forehead. The peach earth pony babbled something incoherently before falling backwards, sliding off of the horn, and landing in a bloody mess on the floor. The remaining ponies looked at her speechlessly before charging all at once.

"Let me show you what true power is," the voice said with a laugh, igniting her horn a fiery red. A huge ball of red energy appeared at the tip of the horn. The air was charged with the electrical tang of magical energy, it was almost palpable in its thickness. When suddenly it exploded outwards, the simmering heat incinerating the eight ponies that she had once called family along with their wooden caravans. The entire clearing was now just scorched land, even the plants hadn't survived the fiery outburst.

Trixie smirked at the senseless destruction she had just caused. "Such power," she said before bursting into a malevolent laugh.


Using her enhanced magical abilities it was a simple matter to teleport all the way to Ponyville. The mare appeared in the town square without a sound. It was dark now, night time. A few ponies still rushed about the town, trying to finish whatever errands were keeping them awake. Just down the street in front of her sat Twilight's Library, the home of the pony who had broken the camel's back. Her streak of bad luck had brought her here, she had put on quite a show, earning the respect of some of the ponies in town. She had planned to start over here, try to rebuild anew but Twilight Sparkle had put an end to that. After those two idiotic foals had brought an Ursa Minor to town, Twilight had been the pony that upstaged her and ruined her credibility. Not to mention the damnable beast had crushed her home and most of her property. The purple unicorn had cost her what little she had had left. And now that she no longer had those saddlebags, she literally had nothing. A sudden burst of lightning came from the darkened sky above, followed by torrential rain. The rain soaked her fur but she couldn't even feel it any more. Only two things remained in her mind, this need for vengeance and this want for power.

She knocked on the door with her hoof, three quick raps. After no reply for ten seconds her horn glowed red once more and the door burst from its hinges, flying into the house. A cry of pain came from behind the wrecked door as Trixie strode in.

"Spike! Who was that?! A voice came from behind an archway as Twilight entered the entrance hall. She saw the destroyed door pinning her assistant to the floor with a gasp, before panning her eyes across the room to Trixie.

"My dear Twilight," a horrible low voice came from Trixie's mouth, "remember us?"

Twilight's eyes narrowed and her body began to tremble with terror. "That voice... that body... Nightmare Moon! You've infected Trixie!"

"I no longer go by those monikers, I am now The Greatest and Most Powerful Trixie!" the unicorn shouted conjuring up magical fireworks to accompany her grand display. "And this is the final act of our grandest show. A unicorn on a quest for revenge, joined by the remnants of a supposedly destroyed enemy. You ruined both of our lives, you wrecked my plans and spoiled Trixie's last chance at redemption. Prepare to die, Miss Sparkle!" the daemonic voice announced before letting out an even more horrid laugh.

"No...no! I gave you both a chance, it's your fault you didn't accept it! Trixie! Believe me when I say I didn't mean it," Twilight shouted, her voice full of emotion.

Trixie's horn glowed a deep red once more, a huge bolt of energy began to form in front of her. Twilight threw up her best shield spell just before Trixie released the bolt. The bolt hit the shield and for a brief second, the shield managed to hold before fracturing and sending Twilight flying into a wall. She slid down the wall, blood spilling from an open wound on her chest, yet she still breathed. Trixie stalked over, stopping right above the injured unicorn.

"I'm... I'm sorry Trixie," Twilight mumbled through gritted in pain.

"I don't care," Trixie said with another laugh, preparing to finish her off.

"Stop right there!" a voice came from behind Trixie and she turned to find herself face-to-face with a white alicorn.

"Princess!" Twilight shouted before coughing blood onto the floor.

"Don't worry Twilight, I've got this. Besides, we have an old score to settle." Celestia gazed scornfully at the monstrosity that stood before her.

"Oh, so I take over your sister yet you send your lackeys to take care of me, but the second I threaten your precious student you yourself come to fight me. If I'd known that sooner I would have done it last time," Trixie announced boastfully.

"The Element of Treachery, we meet again. I should have known you weren't destroyed. All of your brethren already lie imprisoned in stone. Jealousy, Cruelty, Disloyalty, Misery and of course Discord. Are you ready to join them?" Celestia said confidently.

"Once I've disposed of you, the whole world will bow before me as the most powerful spell caster that ever existed!" Trixie shouted with glee as her horn once again bathed itself in a red glow.

"You'll look great in my statue garden with the other element bearers!" Celestia laughed back, earning a cry of anger from Trixie. Her horn began to glow a rich, light blue. Both horns shot a stream of energy of their respective colour at each other, meeting in the middle in a purple ball. Celestia and Trixie both furrowed their brows and closed their eyes, putting all their energy into the crazy vortex of power. The ball would move towards Trixie then shoot backwards the same amount into Celestia's court who would push it back again. This continued for some time, both of them completely absorbed in their duel. It looked like it might end up a stalemate when a crack of energy signalled the arrival of Luna.

"Big sister!" she cried seeing the white alicorn engaged in a deadly duel with another familiar figure. "Treachery?!" she shouted after a seconds pause, both combatants risked opening their eyes and set a fraction of their concentration towards the new arrival.

"Perfect timing Luna! Help me destroy your big sister here and you'll be richly rewarded! Don't you still want to be recognised for your accomplishments?" Trixie shouted confidently to the new arrival.

"Little sister! Help me vanquish this abomination so that we can return to Canterlot!" Celestia shouted simultaneously to Luna.

Luna didn't even hesitate, joining her power to Celestia's. Within second the purple bolt was sent flying towards Trixie.

"NOOO! Trixie shouted in horror as she found herself rooted in place, looking down she watched as her fur turned to stone, entrapping her in its cold embrace. She looked up fearfully at the two alicorns who stood there and watched. Trixie screamed again as the stone reached her neck, then her face. her vision went black as the stone encased her completely. Then the magical field kicked in and she was completely locked in stasis, her brain frozen for all intents and purposes.

Celestia turned to her wounded student and galloped to her side, she was unconscious but still breathing shallowly. Celestia lowered her horn to Twilight's chest and pulsed another burst of blue energy that washed over Twilight. Her flesh began to repair itself, skin reforming and bones reshaping.

Twilight awoke with a gasp, looking up to see her mentor stood over her with a smile. Twilight stood up and turned to see Luna was healing Spike, before noticing the stone statue of the hybridised Trixie. She frowned at the sight, visibly disturbed.

"What is wrong, my student?" Celestia asked worriedly.

"Was there no way to save Trixie? She may have been a prideful mare but she wasn't inherently evil," Twilight sighed as she spoke.

"Unfortunately not, once they had bonded in such a manner they become nigh inseparable. The only reason Luna broke free was because she was an Alicorn. The second she gave in to the Element of Treachery, she signed herself a one-way ticket to damnation.

"Element of Treachery?"

"The Elements of Disharmony. Once a big threat to the world, now they are all trapped in stone. You fought one already, Discord was the antithesis to Magic, and you overcame him. The others shall remain in my care until the world ends," Celestia said with a sad smile. "Come my faithful student I'm sure you want to know more about these elements, and I happen to have the morning off."

Twilight's face lit up like a fireworks factory as she jumped to her feet and followed Princess Celestia out into Ponyville. Celestia's horn glowed once more and the Sun began to rise from the opposite end of the world, as if rising to meet them.

Luna helped Spike up and carried him to his basket, placing him gently into the covers. She returned downstairs and refitted the door gently using her magic. She then took one sad glance at the statue and teleported the two of them away.

Marauders Run

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Lazily flying home towards Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash, yawned tired from a day of work, mild chill with a chance of light showers, and helping Fluttershy catch her snakes that have gone loose a task that made her other friends nervous. Unknown to her; however was a cloaked beast, a spear slung on his back and a curved sword nestled at his waste, lurking in the forest standing on his hooved legs, sharp crude digits wrapped around a blow gun made of foreign wood. He removed the hood that hid his features the head of goat horns of a ram, a satyr, and with a deep inhale he brought the stealthy weapon towards his mouth as he aimed for the unaware Pegasus floating home.

Rainbow Dash became tense as she felt a sharp sting in her neck. It only took a few seconds for her vision to begin to blur, muscles relaxing, and elevation descending she hit the ground. Rainbow Dash laid there as she tried with all her might to move, her eyes half open mouth agape drooling. It was not long before darkness took her as she felt herself being lifted and carried, whereabouts unknown.

Finally gaining consciousness Rainbow Dash absorbed her surroundings. The walls were made of a natural rock formation only a door being of hoof make. She began to panic rushing to the door trying desperately to open it to no avail. This devolved into pounding followed by a nervous shrill of fear and it would of continued for hours, but a fellow Pegasus stepped away from the shadows in an attempt to calm her down.

In a collected manner the Pegasus began to speak, “Save your energy we only get fed twice a day, once in the morning a second at night”

Realizing she has been making a fool of herself Rainbow Dash tried to collect her composure, “I’m just trying to see how strong this door is so I can break it open!” the Pegasus took another step further letting Rainbow Dash see her, grey coat over a black mane, as she stared unimpressed by Rainbow Dashes excuse . Realizing who it was that was addressing her Rainbow Dash said, “Your Sky Surge, the Wonderbolts newest member, how did you get here?”

Her discovery did not faze Sky Surge, “Just like you knocked out and thrown in a cell. It’s been five days.”

Rainbow Dash no longer alone felt comfort and introduced herself, “Names Rainbow Dash,” she then asked the natural question, “Any idea what’s going on?”

Sky Surge looked away bothered, “Rainbow Dash the element of loyalty, participating in Marauders Run, this… complicates my directive.” Providing Rainbow Dash with fuel for her curiosity she began to retreat back into the shadowy corner, “You will find your answers soon enough.”

Rainbow Dash asked more questions that were ignored by her cellmate. She hoped that having the company of another Pegasus would provide solace from her predicament, but Sky Surge’s disregard for any conversation made her feel isolated.

Moving adjacent to Sky Surge’s corner she rested on her hooves trying to gather her strength. She reminded herself who she was, Rainbow Dash, and what she stood for, loyalty. Her friends are waiting for her and if they were here they would expect Rainbow Dash to remain strong. Thoughts of friendship provided her with resurgence in fortitude as she became committed into seeing through this situation of hers, and make it back to her friends before they could worry. These thoughts were cut short as the door opened and her name was called. A glance at Sky Surge showed her nodding, and with no real position to refuse she stood up and walked outside.

Two earth ponies crowded over the door commanding her to sit which Rainbow Dash obeyed. They warned her to behave as they wrapped a chain around her. One of the ponies grabbed the chain and pulled her along with his mouth. Rainbow Dash took in her surroundings, five other large cells lined the walls as she was taken through the door the walls like her cell wasn’t hoof made her prison a cave etched over a period of more than a thousand years. After a brief walk she was brought into a room where there stood a table, documents laid about, with an earth pony of a green coat on one end. To his right was a unicorn and his left the satyr standing tall over everypony.

Rainbow Dash sat down and the unicorn began inspecting her. The unicorn lifted her wings and ran her hoof across her mane, and then she peered through her eyes followed by an analysis of each individual hoof. Finishing the physical she spoke, “Perfect health, you satyrs know how to preserve your game,” she walked back and grabbed one of the documents presenting it to the earth pony.

The earth pony began to read aloud, “Rainbow Dash of Cloudsdale, flight school dropout in charge of the weather team over Ponyville, winner of last year’s young flier’s competition. Bearer of the element of loyalty participating in the defeat of Night Mare Moon and Discord, she has also assisted in the removal of a dragon who took residence near Ponyville. Rainbow Dash is capable of performing a sonic rainboom as well as clocking in at speeds that far exceed the sound barrier. Furthermore she contains superb agility making her a perfect competitor for Marauders Run.” The earth pony made a glance at Rainbow Dash, he then directed a comment to himself, “It looks like we have our eighth”

The earth pony nodded at the unicorn and she laid a document and a quill at the table in front of Rainbow Dash. The earth pony began to describe the details of the document, “This is a contract, in signing it you will be allowed to compete in the Marauders Run Challenge a race where the participants are allowed to use whatever means at their disposal to win. Your signature signifies that you are aware of the dangers you incur by participating in this race and you will be held accountable for your own life. If you were to befall a fatal injury by your competitors or the many hazards that occupy Marauders Run Canyon you claim full responsibility for your actions. If anyone was to inquire into your disappearance we hold the full right to decline any involvement and we are not obligated to assist in said investigation

If you win the Marauders Run Challenge you will be given freedom and transport to your home country or country of choice, if you so choose, as well as compensation for any damages acquired whether emotional or physical. If you were to fail and survive you forfeit yourself to the owner, name redacted, and he may choose the best course of action for your life.

Finally, you approve to offer full cooperation in keeping the events that will transpire here to yourself. Because of this we reserve the right to mark you, which will allow your immediate termination were you to disclose of the events that occurred here, provided you are allowed the freedom to leave. Furthermore I’m legally required to answer any questions you have pertaining to this contract.”

The earth pony was thorough and the contract, self-explanatory. Rainbow Dash understood what it meant, a one way ticket to freedom or a life in a cell, and so with no hesitation she signed it. The unicorn removed the document handing it to the earth pony she then nodded at the satyr who walked towards Rainbow Dash. He grabbed her neck and slammed it into the table the unicorn saying, “Don’t struggle you signed the contract,” she approached Rainbow Dash, her horn glowing and she began to etch a carving on her neck. Rainbow Dash let out a yell and tried to struggle but the strength of the satyr was enough to keep her from moving. The unicorn finished abruptly and said, “The scar will go away in a few hours, no one will ever know.”

Rainbow Dash was escorted back into her cell where she found her dinner waiting. Sky Surge already finished hers, Rainbow Dash; hungry began to eat a now cold bowl of oatmeal. Walking forward, Sky Surge grabbed her neck and inspected the still fresh scar. She said, “We’ll get rid of that mark as soon as we get you out of here, but you’re going to have to compete so don’t hesitate to do whatever is required of you to win. I shall do my best to protect you.”

Observing another opportunity to ask questions Rainbow Dash inquired, “It’s obvious you know more about what’s going on here than you’re putting on. So you better give me some answers! As far as I’m concerned you may just be trying to gain my trust so you can stab me in the back.”

These were not the terms Sky Surge wanted to divulge information in, but she was left with no choice, “I’m a member of the Sun and Moon Potentate, our agents are scattered beyond the borders of Equestria and we operate exclusively under the hoof of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. We are under oath to serve the two goddesses, and their interest, in order to protect Equestria of any threats that permeate outside its borders. Our all-powerful goddesses can’t intervene in matters that go beyond Equestria for it shall bring much political turmoil so they have us act in their stead.”

“So you’re not really a Wonderbolt?”

“In order to infiltrate this organization I disguised myself as a Wonderbolt and did what was necessary to draw attention as a candidate for Marauders Run.”

“Well that explains why the paper reported you had an injury and how unfortunate it was to have such a short lived career.”

“That was a cover up now listen,” and so Sky Surge began to tell Rainbow Dash of the Wings and Horns Society, a group of highly influential and powerful ponies who operate in secret hoarding their knowledge keeping all from attaining it. The Marauders Run challenge is an event organized by Wings and Horns where they gather fliers to compete in a race over a perilous canyon. It is the only time where members of the society will be in the same location providing an opportunity to identify or eliminate them. According to Sky Surge the society members need to be brought back under the influence of the goddesses.

Rainbow Dash was quick to ask for the SMPs concern over the participant’s safety to which she received a dismissive lack of concern from Sky Surge. Their main objective was in the identification or elimination of any members of the Wings and Horns. With the inclusion of Rainbow Dash, however she have complicated the directive as Sky Surge now has to ensure that the bearer of the element of loyalty is safe. All she would discuss to Rainbow Dash was to compete and that she will handle everything else. This was an unsatisfactory response to Rainbow Dash but she was left without further answers as Sky Surge retreated into her corner ignoring any further questions asked by Rainbow Dash. Giving up she rested alongside a wall as she fell asleep dreaming of her friends and their concern for her.

Three days have passed since Rainbow Dash was kidnapped, she kept track by the rotation of meals being provided. The first meal of the third day was passed and several hours after, the door opened and both Pegasus were called. It was time for Marauders Run.

Rainbow Dash noticed that all of the competitors were being called at once as they were lined up. The unicorn and satyr was present as several earth ponies began to tie them all together by a chain. Rainbow Dash observed three griffons easily enough then there was a dragon, not yet of formidable size, the age of a teenager, but it was the other two species that she had never seen before who caught her attention. A peng, standing on his feet as his long arms rested on the floor, claws scratching the surface, wings on his back and a third eye for visibility. It was however the majestic bird standing tall above the rest that gave Rainbow Dash the most awe. Its feathers white it stood proudly amongst the ranks of her competitors still maintaining an aura of majesty, a roc. Rainbow Dash paused to wonder how such a beautiful bird became captured and forced to compete.

Once linked together the unicorn stepped forward its horn began to glow as the eight competitors began to coil in anguish. She then spoke, “That pain will be revisited upon you if you try to escape. If you fly above the gorge you will also feel that pain, furthermore I have a link to you and I will be watching. If you win and you decide to share your experience of competing in Marauders Run to anyone I will know and I will make it so the pain won’t stop until your dead. Now follow.”

The unicorn began to lead the group as the satyr walked to the rear of them as they proceeded out of the cave. Upon exiting there laid before them, Marauders Run Canyon, in its entire intimidating girth. The depths of the great cavern Rainbow Dash could make out a swamp home of many foul creatures. Over the cavern stood a great airship hovering over housing the elite who have come to place their bets at the expense of the racers safety.

With the competitors lined up the Unicorn fired a great flare into the sky to signify that the race is about to begin. The shackles were released and cleared the Unicorn then commanded, “You have five seconds to enter the gorge at the start of the race or I will activate your mark. The next flare will signify the start.”

Rainbow Dash reminded herself one last time that her friends are waiting for her back in Ponyville and there is only one way to make it back and that’s through the abysmal canyon. She stood steadfast ready to brave the dangers that was held within. Her nerves prior has been expelled, constitution hardened, adrenaline coursing through every fiber, failure not perceivable. And with the noise of a great loud explosion as the flare grew brightly overhead, she alongside her competitors plunged forward into the depths racing for their lives.

All eight racers were in close proximity Rainbow Dash in the middle of the pack. The peng used his free arms to his advantage as he clawed at one of the griffons who got in to close sending him veering into the swamp triggering the rise of a hydra as one of the heads caught the griffon for a meal. The hydra was too slow however, and it lost interest as the racers pulled ahead. It did let off a loud roar that awoke a hulking behemoth that stood in front of the pack deeper into the swamp. It charged outward and leaped but the racers skillfully dodged it. The behemoth hungry and undeterred followed the pack.

The dragon pulled ahead using his size to prevent the other racers from challenging him as he turned his head and breathed fire. He missed as the racers banked away but Rainbow Dash collided into the peng who used his hulking elbows to punish her for getting too close. Rainbow Dash almost lost control but was able to regain it and she shot forward narrowly escaping the behemoth that came inches from making her into a snack.

It was the roc showing no fear who gained on the dragon, using her talons she perched on top of the dragon using him as a bootstrap as she rocketed upwards toward Sky Surge, hovering overhead, in an attempt at dismemberment. Sky Surge was too quick however, and she dodged to the side leaving a bolt of lightning to greet the roc striking her in the beak, stunned for a second, she continued in pursuit. The dragon on the other hoof, lost elevation due to the roc and as he tried to ascend he was quickly pulled further downwards, the behemoth caught his tail and weighted him to the ground. The dragon tried with his might to wrestle the behemoth but he was still young compared to his older fully grown brethren and the behemoth outmatched him, overpowering the dragon it dug in.

Although behind Rainbow Dash made quick work catching up to the rest of the pack. What she lacked for in power she made up for in velocity as she passed the peng and griffon who were trailing behind. She then passed by the roc and she sighted Sky Surge ahead of the second place griffon. Nearing the leader of the race she witnessed Sky Surge, in complete control, spiral in a torrent creating a monsoon of hail smacking the griffon, stiffening her wings, making her lose momentum as she plummeted towards the canyon depths. The griffon echoed a screech of pain as she was overtaken by the denizens of the swamp.

Rainbow Dash was revolted to see such a decadent use of weather control but now wasn’t the time to question it; she had a race to win and a life to keep. Losing focus she was reminded how close the race was when she found herself in last place again. She accelerated forward keeping distance from the aggressive peng. The peng challenged the last griffon, beaming straight toward him. They were soon entangled exchanging blows claw to talon, Rainbow Dash passed by ignoring the confrontation.

As the two struggled to gain control in the fight they lost their sense of direction flying further upwards above the canyon. The griffon at last managed to claim victory as he disabled the pengs left wing. He let the peng loose sending him away from the cavern into the earth. As the griffon left in pursuit of first place the peng was struck with a sharp pain as he desperately tried to claw his way back into the cavern for alleviation, he failed.

Only four competitors remained as the finish line came into view. The griffon was too far behind to be considered in the running and the roc still affected by Sky Surges prior shock was incapable of pulling ahead. It was just Rainbow Dash who gained the lead that became posed to win. She took a glance to secure her position was correct when she sighted Sky Surge who was now heading downwards towards the canyon. This caused Rainbow Dash to be conflicted as her victory was ahead of her, but the knowledge of what Sky Surge will be doing provided the catalyst to follow her in search of the life of espionage. She turned and descended after her letting the roc claim victory over Marauders Run. If Sky Surge was not concerned for losing then it must mean she has a means to rid her of the unicorns mark. Those means must be down in the cavern awaiting her, thought Rainbow Dash.

She arrived into the cavern grounds and there she saw Sky Surge and a unicorn by her side. Sky Surge was now wearing armor that was grooved alongside her body keeping her agility intact, wings plated in sharp steel now doubling as a sweeping blade. The unicorn, a white coat with a blue mane, wearing robes with a device connected to his horn amplifying its power, noticed Rainbow Dash, and entered an aggressive stance as his horn began to glow. Sky Surge shook in disbelief to see the bearer of loyalty, and she ordered the unicorn to stand down as she approached Rainbow Dash.

Infuriated she spoke, “What are you doing here? I made the path clear for your victory. Now your indiscretion will blow our cover! Shelter Rock dispel her mark and evacuate her before she exposes our position further!”

Before doing as commanded he let out his opinion, “Geez Sky Surge another?”

Sky Surge was not in the mood for Shelter Rocks games, “It’s nothing like that! She is loyalty.”

He now realized the true gravity of the predicament, “Oh! I didn’t know the element of loyalty was participating in the race. That changes things.” He then walked towards Rainbow Dash and pointed his horn towards her mark removing it. He then directed his horn towards the ground as a circle of magic appeared before them.

Sky Surge then directed Rainbow Dash, “Step in, it will take you to safety and when we finish our mission we’ll figure out what to do with you.”

Rainbow Dash stood sternly and disobeyed Sky Surge, “I came down here to see what you were planning and to help in any way I can. I serve Princess Celestia too!”

Attempting reason Sky Surge tried once again to dismay Rainbow Dash, “We are likely going to engage hostiles on that airship and you are unarmored and unprepared for what we might face”

Her attempts failed as Rainbow Dash became bold claiming that she could handle what threat awaited them. Both Pegasus began to argue until Shelter Rock lent his opinion, “Sky Surge she is the element of Loyalty and you know what that means so if she wants to go she will go.”

Furious that her partner sided with Rainbow Dash, “You can’t be serious! Are you siding with her?” with a groan she began walking away, “Hurry up, we’re waiting on you.”

Unsure what just happened Rainbow Dash questioned the sudden shift to which Shelter Rock provided details, “You are a bearer of an element of harmony one of the most powerful relics known in existence. Because of this you hold the rank of harmony bearer and that means you are directly below the princess herself. You technically outrank us meaning we HAVE to listen to what you say.”

This brought a smile across Rainbow Dashes face, “Hah, but wait a minute I thought Sky Surge said the SMP answers directly to Celestia.”

Shelter Rock continued, “We do, but with the resurgence of Princess Luna and the new bearers of harmony we are ordered to obey and protect you and Princess Luna. I guess that means she lied to you so if you wanted to you could have Sky Surge punished for insubordination, not saying you should! But you could.” Sky Surge, silent, gave a cold stare at Shelter Rock, “Sorry SS but I’m just obeying orders.”

As the airship landed only the unicorn, satyr, and earth pony was there to congratulate the victor, the roc, of Marauders Run and shower her with favor and freedom. This left the three ponies with no choice but to infiltrate the airship.

They crept aboard through a hatch located on the rear of the ship which led to a storage hold; there they waited patiently. As the ship departed they were interrupted by the noise of talons scratching on a metal surface. They located the source of the noise a caged griffon the survivor of the Marauders Run Challenge.

He noticed the three ponies recognizing two of them, “I thought you succumbed to the perils of that dreadful canyon, yet here you stand before me free from the shackles of metal and magic willingly undergoing risk. You must understand my curiosity.”

Rainbow Dash requested for Shelter Rock to get the cage opened, but he was met with protest from Sky Surge. She was quickly reminded of her place by Rainbow Dash and withdrew her comments as Sever Rock used his magic to open the cage and dispel the griffon of his mark.

Grateful the griffon spoke, “My name is Morid and I am in your debt. What is it that you require of me?”

Rainbow Dash spoke, “When the noise starts come in fighting.”

Morid showed his concern to the simple plan, “You plan on fighting a satyr in open combat? Their prowess is legendary I fear for your safety, but I am in your debt so I will do as you ask. I do recommend however you use your wits against him for he outmatches us all in brawn.”

Shelter Rock supported the idea, “He’s right you know, we have limited space so you two Pegasus can’t use the air to your advantage perhaps we-“

The door opened as the unicorn stepped in with the satyr following behind. She said, “When I felt your link broken, griffon, I was expecting you to have committed suicide. Instead I see three of the competitors and an extra. State your business!”

Rainbow Dash who has now assumed leadership over the group spoke, “We are here to stop you from kidnapping anymore innocent species and end your society!”

The unicorn was amused by the bravado, “You expect to stop the Wings and Horns? Oh little filly as a member myself I can attest to how misguided you are. What were you told? That we hoard knowledge or was it that we trafficked ponies beyond Equestria for slavery?” brushing off her own comment, “No matter it is now inconsequential. I made a hubris mistake of overlooking your descent into the canyon; I will ensure that does not happen again.” With a glow of her horn she sent a great beam of energy towards Rainbow Dash but it was deflected by the projection of a shield provided by Shelter Rock.

Sky Surge charged with great speed her wings out in preparation to pass through her unicorn adversary. The satyr met her half way as he checked her advance with his spear sending her recoiling from the impact. This left her open as the satyr prepared the finishing blow, but Mordid intervened tackling him. The satyr was able to break free as they faced each other Mordid sent his talons forward in an onslaught. He was met with nothing but air and the impact of the spears shaft as the satyr artfully defended his advance. Undeterred Mordid sent his right talon in a powerful overhead sweep only to miss as the satyr side stepped into the griffon’s flank. In close quarters he brought the reverse end of his spear forward, the blow connected with Mordid’s eye blinding and leaving him useless as the blood quickly clouded his vision. The satyr not having time to finish his adversary advanced forward to assist his comrade.

The unicorn sent a salvo of beams toward the ponies but the offensive was quickly rejected by Shelter Rocks defensive magic. His projections of shields absorbed the energetic particles allowing him to respond with an identical salvo, aimed solely at the unicorn. She countered by releasing her hold on existence reappearing behind an unaware Rainbow Dash. Using her telekinesis the unicorn sent forth heaps of cargo in a frenzied twister. Sky Surge was quick to answer using her weather controlling abilities to dissipate the twister.

Throughout the battle Rainbow Dash was mostly unaware barely responding to the threats with a panicked shift in direction she now understood the warnings of Sky Surge, that she was inexperienced and unprepared. Eager to prove her worth she ceased the opportunity of the break in battle when Sky Surge expunged the twister. Rainbow Dash charged forward at the behest of the two other ponies. The unicorn caught her action and blinked away as Rainbow Dash was gripped by the satyr.

His arm wrapped around Rainbow Dashes neck his corded muscles tightened as she was suspended above the ground. Sky Surge made haste to aid Rainbow Dash but she was blindsided by a projectile from the unicorn. The Satyr soon released his hold on her, however as he rolled away from a blinded Mordid rushing forward in a pathetic attempt at reprisal crashing headfirst into a wall becoming unconscious. The wall held host to the controls of the cargo hold and the doors opened. Rainbow Dash who has now risen saw the opportunity and rocketed through the doors.

The unicorn noticed the predicament that was presented now that sky is available. Her attention redirected towards Rainbow Dash, but she was too fast as her projectiles failed to hit its target. The unicorn barked at the satyr to close the cargo doors requiring his full attention as he had to resort to using a pulley. The unicorn braced herself as Rainbow Dash re-entered with a storm cloud. With a kick of her hooves she sent lightning forward too fast for the unicorn to anticipate, she was stunned. Sky Surge now fully recovered made headway towards the unicorn at full speed once again the satyr, distracted, was unable to save her. Sky Surge’s steel plated and edged wings passed through the unicorn ending her life immediately.

The three ponies gathered together to face down the satyr, abandoning his task, he stood facing them and then kneeled, “I, satyr kin, am no longer duty bound to serve fifth teen.” He stood up, “I was hired as her protectorate and with her death before the end of my contract means I have failed. I am no longer compelled to continue fighting. I’m now at your mercy.”

Shelter Rock spoke, “What are your orders Rainbow Dash?”

“He seems to have no allegiance to the Wings and Horns.”

The satyr agreed with Rainbow Dash, “She speaks the truth.”

Mordid, awoke, walked in on the ponies discussing what they will do with the satyr, covering his blind eye, he overheard them. “I’ll tell you what to do. Make him serve you as an honor bound. I’ll repay my debt to you by not killing him here outright for taking my eye.” He grunts as the wound is still fresh, “An honor bound satyr would make a most formidable ally.”

Rainbow Dash questioned the meaning of honor bound to which the satyr provided an explanation, “We satyr kin prefer to fight to our dying breath but I have no love for my former employer who directs me to kidnap species unawares instead of facing them in combat. I was duty bound by a contract and I was offered vast sums of currency for my cooperation with her orders. My signature forced me to obey but now that she is dead I hold no will to continue fighting. With my life in your mercy you may choose to spare me. In doing so my life becomes yours and you may do what you will of it.”

Rubbing her neck in bewilderment Rainbow Dash said, “So you will become a servant of mine?”

Mordid corrected her, “Servant is simplifying it. You are taking in a highly trained warrior from a country that prides themselves as warriors, shrewd merchants, and tinkerers of knowledge.”

The Satyr added to Mordid’s statement, “I’m also a spell breaker.”

Realizing Rainbow Dahses luck he continued, “And he is a spell breaker! I was really outmatched wasn’t I?” the satyr nodded as Mordid finished what he had to say, “Although satyrs haven’t stepped into the lands of Equestria under open hooves for centuries we, of the Griffon Kingdoms, do get visits from their trade caravans regularly and there is a reason why they are never waylaid by bandits.”

Sky Surge gave her opinion on the matter, “Your word is final Rainbow Dash. I should remind you that he did kidnap you and me, and he almost choked you to death as well as blinding Mordids eye. But a satyr warrior would be of great use to you and if you tire of his company you can release him of his bond I assume.”

The satyr confirmed Sky Surges guest, “She is correct.”

Shelter Rock interrupted the conversation, “Uh guys we are getting closer to the ground”

The cargo bay doors still open they can clearly see that they were descending. Rainbow Dash took control, “Mordid take Shelter Rock and get out we’ll meet you later. Sky Surge. satyr!”

“Ehsan.”

“Right Ehsan follow me! I guess that makes you my honor bound servant or whatever. We don’t have time let’s go!”

Mordid grabbed Shelter Rock as Rainbow Dash led the other two further into the airship. Proceeding onward, Rainbow Dash, and her two companions arrived at the command deck of the airship where an earth pony was all that remained, the same one who read her contract out loud when she was imprisoned, burning documents by a makeshift fire. Ehsan rushed the earth pony pinning him down.

The earth pony confused spoke, “What is the meaning of this Ehsan? I thought you and fifth teen were sent to investigate a lost link only to have a fight break out in the hold of the ship. Now you seem to have voided your contract.” Ehsan tightened his grip and the earth pony groaned.

Sky Surge spoke, “Where are the others?”

“Others? What others?’ Ehsan began to choke the earth pony, he was weak only employed to handle business not withstand pain, “Stop stop I’ll talk!” he breathed heavily, “The moment we departed they all boarded their own crafts going their separate ways. Only a skeleton crew remained.”

Ehsan knew he wasn’t telling the complete truth and punished him further for it as the earth pony gasped for air, “I was here thirty seven! What about five? He was here when they left!” he then loosened his grip on thirty seven allowing him to speak.

“You just missed him you’re a spell breaker, Ehsan, you must feel the traces of magic in the air or was the discharge from the battle still clouding your senses.” Thirty seven began to laugh as Ehsan released his hold on him.

He faced the two Pegasus’s “Five opened a portal, everpony evacuated and thirty seven was left to dispose of any loose documents that remained.”

Sky Surge thought out loud, “Wings and Horns, I wonder how many earth ponies are part of their society. It does not matter they have shown their prejudice towards them by leaving thirty seven here to die”

“Aside from the guards at the cave and thirty seven the whole crew was unicorns and pegasi,” said Ehsan confirming Sky Surges statement.

Rainbow Dash intervened reminding them that they are running out of time, “Hey! The airship is falling so unless there is something you need to get done I say we get the heck out of here!”

Sky Surge then drove her sharpened wing forward stabbing thirty seven in the chest. Rainbow Dash was unprepared for the sudden action, “What was that for? You didn’t have to kill him!”

“He was going to die anyways and we need to carry Ehsan out of here,” she began to pick up as many loose documents with her mouth as she could muster before following Rainbow Dash and Ehsan back to the cargo hold. They grabbed Ehsan and flew downwards into the ground meeting the others as the airship crashed into the horizon.

Shelter Rock approached Sky Surge asking her if she found anything on the Wings and Horns Society. Sky Surge released the documents letting Shelter Rock sort through it. She then made her way to Rainbow Dash who was facing Ehsan calling her name.

Rainbow Dash ignored Sky Surge, “In a second Sky Surge, Ehsan here is going to perform this ritual so he can be honor bound to me.”

Ehsan unsheathed the curved sword kept at his waist and he cut his forearm letting the blood drip unto the ground. He then spoke, “I satyr kin scorned by Baphomet most foul, offer myself in service to Rainbow Dash. I am now her protectorate and I will serve her until my death or if she wills me my freedom.” The blood now mixed with the earth he digs his hand into it. He then approaches Rainbow Dash and with his finger he runs a line down her forehead, “Every step I take will be in your stead, I walk in your shadow, I am sworn to serve you, I am honor bound to you.” He sheathed his weapons and kneeled before her, placing his right arm across his chest, and then he rose in service to Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash was not sure what to think of the situation a satyr who was at one point in the brink of ending her life has now pledged his entire existence to her, in servitude, for sparing him. She wasn’t given the opportunity to ponder further as Sky Surge requested her attention. She turned to face Sky Surge asking what she wanted.

“I want to apologize for my earlier insubordination and offer my thanks for your assistance.” Sky Surge was embarrassed admitting that Rainbow Dash untrained as she was may have very well saved her, “If your compassion hadn’t freed Mordid and if your speed hadn’t brought in that storm cloud to stun fifth teen we would have failed our mission.” She bowed before Rainbow Dash acknowledging her superior; Shelter Rock standing by her side did so too.

Although she was not foreign to the admiration of her peers the show of respect from the two ponies made her feel humbled. To impress ponies of their caliber after being kidnapped, and then taking part in a race through a perilous cavern that housed creatures of hostile intent only to be followed through by the infiltration of an airship. There she was exposed to a near death experiences and the discovery of a secretive society, which all things considered still held unknown ambitions to her, all in a single day. All Rainbow Dash could utter was “Thanks” as Mordid joined bowing his head forward as he kept a hand over his wound, and Ehsan bowed as well to his new master.

Raising his head Mordid spoke, “My respect goes to you Rainbow Dash. I don’t wish to fathom what would have happened if I was kept in that cage.” Displaying his wound to Ehsan, “I am compelled with apathy towards you satyr. You took my eye, but you pledged a life of servitude to the one who freed me.” Recognizing there was nothing else to be said he turned and began to leave, “I suppose gratitude is more appropriate for a griffon then vengeance. Rainbow Dash, friend, if you happen yourself in Griffon Vale don’t hesitate to visit my training ground, The Corkscrew Gym, in the arena district. I’m the lanista there, and I can train you to maneuver in ways only a griffon can.” Mordid took off and departed from the four.

Sky Surge nodded towards Shelter Rock and he nodded back as he shined his horn creating a magic circle on the ground. She then said, “This should take you two back to Ponyville.”

Rainbow Dash questioned the two ponies who will be left behind, “What about you two?”

She anticipated the question and explained promptly, “It will require a lot of Shelter Rocks focus to transport you two to such a great distance, he will need time to rest. While he gathers his strength we will sort through the wreckage for anything of use.” Expecting the follow-up question that will undoubtedly be asked Sky Surge provided an answer, “We are also heading back to our headquarters so we no longer need to travel together.”

Bidding her farewells Rainbow Dash stepped into the magic circle back to Ponyville followed by Ehsan.

In the outskirts of Ponyville Ehsan voiced his concern, “I doubt the residents of this town will take kindly to an armed satyr kin.”

“Your right, but don’t worry, once my friends find out that I have my own personal butt kicking satyr they should help get the town to like ya.” Rainbow Dash then provided a temporary solution, “For the mean time you can stay in the Everfree Forest. Although I should warn you it can get pretty scary at night so make sure you stay near the edge of the forest.”

Nodding in approval the satyr spoke, “I have made multiple trips through the Everfree Forest I have no fear for those that would call it their home.”

Rainbow Dash knew that the satyr would be fine, but it didn’t hurt to warn him. She then flew as fast as she could to find her friends and tell them she’s fine. They must be worried sick of her having gone missing for days. Approaching Ponyville a smile crossed her face as she couldn’t wait to tell her friends of the events that have transpired and the future that awaited from her experience in Marauders Run.

Home for the Holidays

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“No! Please, could you check just one more time?”

The colt shook his head from behind the counter, his graying mane moving back and forth beneath his blue ticket handler cap. “I’m sorry, m’am, but I’ve already checked for ya. If there weren’t any openings before, there sure aren’t any now.”

“Please!” I placed my hooves on the counter, their yellowy color contrasting the wood beneath them. “This was the last train to Manehattan; my family will be worried sick if I’m not home like I promised.”

“I did what I could, Miss… pardon me, what was it again?”

“Fauna.”

“Ah, yes. I’m sorry, Miss Fauna, but there’s simply nothing I can do. You have my apologies, if it matters.” He scratched his head with a light brown hoof, slowly changing his grimace into a smile. “For what it’s worth, have a merry Hearth’s Warming Eve!” With that, the colt raised an arm up, dropping a metal shutter over the ticket counter’s window and making me flinch. I stared at the closed booth for just a moment, as if expecting the colt to reappear with a friendly ‘just kidding’.

It never happened. With a frustrated sigh, I turned away from the counter, clumsily trying to wrap my scarf tighter around me. I gripped the red cloth in my mouth and tugged, hoping that the accessory wouldn’t end up wrapping itself around the green strands of my mane. Satisfied, I picked up the thing I’d dropped beside me before I’d talked to the ticket colt; I felt the familiar weight of the paper bag filled with holiday gifts, gifts that my family wouldn’t be getting quite yet.

There was no other choice but to turn from the counter and leave, trotting away in defeat towards where I’d came from: my mother’s house. My heart heavy, I found I couldn’t think of much else besides my family. They were probably sitting in the living room of our little house, the one we’d paid for with my flower sales and my husband’s hard work as a carpenter. My daughter would be idling about, wondering where her mother was- and most likely wondering where we were keeping the Hearth’s Warming presents, like every little filly was warrant to do. My husband would be sitting around as well, probably wondering where I’d gone to.

I could still remember the conversation me and the husband had shared before I’d come out here. “Come on, dove, can’t it wait until after the holidays?” he’d questioned.

I’d simply shaken my head and smiled. “No, Sterling Saw, I’m going. It’d be wrong for my mother to be all alone on Hearth’s Warming Eve. I know you’re too busy to come along, but don’t worry about me, I’ll be back before you know it. I’ll be in Trottingham tomorrow; just make sure our little girl doesn’t hunt for the presents. Remind her that I’ll see you all before Hearth’s Warming itself.”

A strong gust of wind blew, its whistling wind almost mocking me as it altered the course of the holiday snow. With a frown, I glanced upwards, eyeing the starry night sky to pass the time. Of course, it’s just a lie now, I thought. What a foal I was, not to get my ticket ahead of time.

Psssst…

I froze. Glancing curiously around, I noticed that I’d stopped at about the halfway point of my route back to mother’s. Closed down shops greeted me on all sides, their owners all home and reveling in the holiday festivities. I couldn’t pinpoint where the odd sound had come from, though. Must have been the wind.

Pssst…

No, it definitely wasn’t the wind. I glanced down the narrow alley to my right, noting that it was too shadowy to see into. The nearby street light cast a glow in its direction, revealing the smallest flicker of movement within. The darkness shuffled again, seeming to part as a lone pony stepped out of it.

With a gasp, I stepped back. The pony didn’t seem very threatening; it was just a white colt, wearing a shirt and hood that blocked his eyes. Still, this was a major city; you never could be too careful at night. “I-I don’t want any trouble,” I muttered. “What do you want?”

The colt chuckled, raising a hoof to his mouth. “It’s not about what I want, m’am. It’s about what you want.”

I backed up another step. This was getting far too weird. Making sure I had a route for escape if the oddly-acting pony tried anything, I spoke up again. “What do you mean? Was that you trying to get my attention?”

“Not unless you see somepony else,” he joked. “All pleasantries aside, I couldn’t help but overhear your little dilemma back at the station.”

His demeanor and tone sounded far too calm to be a ruse. I allowed myself to relax a little, eyeing the pony up and down. “What of it?”

“Yes, what of it indeed. You need to get back to Manehattan to see your family, and I happen to have a train ticket with me right here.”

Wait, what? I thought. “But there’s no more trains running tonight. The last one would have left right after I took my leave.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Haven’t you heard? This time of year is a busy one; as such, they have a secret, extra train running, in order for those tardy ponies to have a route home for the holidays.”

“…An extra train?” I repeated. “But that doesn’t make any sense. When does it come? Where does it go?”

“For somepony being helped out, you sure do ask a lot of questions. Here,” he said, holding out something in his hoof. “Take this.”

Cautiously, I stepped forward. Swiping the thing from him, I held up towards the street light and glanced it over. It was a bright red ticket, though something didn‘t seem quite right. “I don’t understand. Shouldn’t there be something written on this? It‘s completely blank.”

“Not everypony knows of this extra train, so they don’t bother with adding all the extra details. It stops at this station in, oh, about a half hour. If you hurry, you might be able to make it. As for where it goes… well, it goes everywhere.”

“Everywhere?” I glanced over the ticket again, studying the blank, red slip. “Well, considering any of this is true… what’s the catch? What do you want?”

“Nothing, friend. Consider it a Hearth’s Warming present.” The colt chuckled again, his hoof idly tapping up and down to an unheard rhythm. “Now what are you waitin around here for? Go on, then, your family’s a-waitin’.”

I looked down the street, calculating the distance I’d have to cross to get from here back to the station. If what the colt said was true, I’d be back with a few moments to spare. “Well… thank you! I never caught your name, who do I have to tha-”

I glanced back to see an empty alley. The colt had dissapeared, most likely slinking back into the shadows. I scanned the alley, hoping for a glimpse of the helpful pony, but to no avail. Left with no other options, I called out into the darkness. “Thank you!” With that, I readjusted the bag in my mouth, slipping the ticket in next to a little doll for my daughter.

Shooting one last glance into the alley, I began galloping back towards the station. A smile lit my face, glad to have been given a chance to keep my promise. The other two would be so happy to see me.


I made it back to the station with time to spare. And yet, only one thing was on my mind.

So cold, I thought, rubbing my left foreleg with the other. The icy bench beneath me wasn’t helping matters, though it did make a good place to rest the bag. For once, I wished I was a pegasus instead of an earth pony; it wouldn’t be the easiest flight in this weather, but I would have been able to fly home on time. Instead, I was waiting for a train that was taking its jolly-good time getting here.

Though I have to admit, it’s a bit odd that I’m the only pony waiting for it. A quick glance around showed that nopony had showed up yet. The colt had mentioned that this extra train was set up so that all the ponies who ended up with no ride home could get back to where they came from. If that was so, where were the ponies that it was made for?

Not that it mattered, if the train never showed up. It’d been about an hour, but there were no signs of an approaching train. If it’s taking so long, I suppose I have time for a restroom break before I get on.

Moments later, I was washing my hooves from within the nearby restroom. Satisfied, I claimed my bag from its spot on the floor and headed back outside.

And then I gasped. Where once the platform had been empty, a slate gray train now stood beside it. Its smokestack let off little puffs of smog as it hummed, letting out the occasional whistle. Its compartments were filled with light, and from the outside, they looked pretty full. What the… how the… it didn’t make any sound! And where did everypony come from?

“Coming, miss?”

I shook myself out of my reverie, spotting a stallion leaning out of the closest compartment. He was holding a ticket punch in an orange hoof, staring at me curiously. I stepped forward nervously, dropping the bag back to the ground as I rummaged around within. Finding what I needed, I pulled it out; the blank ticket, which the ticket taker promptly snatched up.

He eyed it up and down, scratching his brown mane all the while. For a moment, I wondered if some prankster hadn’t just given me a fake ticket for a quick laugh; who would accept a blank ticket, anyway? And yet, the stallion gave a satisfied nod. I let out a relieved sigh as he punched a hole in the ticket, handing it back. “Welcome aboard, m’am!”

Dropping the ticket back into my bag, I retrieved my belongings and hopped on board. The ticket taker stepped aside, making way for me to enter the compartment. Bright lights shone from the ceiling, casting a cheery glow on a red-carpeted aisle. Velvet-cushioned seats lined each side, most of them filled already with stallions and mares of all ages. The ticket taker gave a little bow, motioning towards the seats. “Take your pick.”

I nodded. I began walking down the aisle, glancing back and forth as I went. Most of the seats seemed full, with ponies chatting in every section. It looked like I’d have to move to the next apartment, until I found an empty seat near the end of the car. Sliding onto the bench, I took my spot next to the window and dropped my bag off by my side. A smile crossed my face as I watched the snow drift down outside. I’m coming home, everypony.


My eyes creaked open slowly, the train car’s lights brightening up my view. I rubbed my eyes, tossing away any remaining weariness. Apparently, I’d managed to fall asleep at some point. A worried thought crossed my mind, Did I sleep through my stop?

No, no, don’t be silly, I scolded myself. Still, it can’t hurt to check. A glance across the aisle revealed my neighbors, a couple of (admittedly oddly-dressed) unicorns. A young, peach-colored foal hopped from bench to bench, the sailor’s cap upon his head barely managing to stay on. A pony that seemed to be his mother was idly staring out the window, the frumpy yellow dress and hat she wore giving her blue-coated form an almost regal appearance. Against my better judgment, I laughed quietly to myself. Nopony’s worn anything like that in at least forty years!

Still, maybe they know. I leaned over my bag, still resting faithfully by my side, and waved to get the foal’s attention. He paused his bouncing and eyed me curiously, turning to face me. I pointed towards his mother, smiling as he took the hint and tugged on her arm. She turned to him and whispered something, her gaze shifting to me as her son pointed in my direction. Her bored expression turned into a smile as she scooted closer, letting her son resume his antics.

“Yes, how may I help you?” She questioned, her voice laced with an implacable accent.

“Would you happen to know if we’ve passed Manehattan yet?”

The mare tapped her chin thoughtfully. “We just passed through Detrot nary an hour ago, so I’d say Manehattan’s about ten minutes away.” She nodded quickly. “Yes, definitely ten minutes. Does that help?”

“Definitely. Thanks!” I began to lean back towards my window when another question entered my mind. “Hold on. While I still have your attention, could you tell me where everypony came from?”

The mare looked confused. “I assure you, madam, that nopony on this train could possibly know where everypony else originates from. What an odd question…”

“No, no,” I interrupted. “When I was at the station, nopony was there. I left for just a moment, came back, and the train was there. Nopony was occupying the station before or after the train showed up. As far as I can tell, nopony got on or off the train. So where did all these ponies come from?” I finished, gesturing around the train compartment.

Her look of confusion only grew. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, we’ve been here the whole time. I would suggest you get some more rest and clear your mind, dearie, but I think I can see your stop on the horizon.”

She pointed to her window. She was right; out in the distance, set against the snowy backdrop, sat Manehattan. Despite the late hour, its streets were aglow with lights from all sources. A few ponies could be seen in the distance, still moving about the city’s snow-covered streets at this time of night.

As if on cue, the ticket taker walked in from the car behind us. “Fillies and gentlecolts, we will be arriving in Manehatten in five minutes. Thanks for riding, and have a merry Hearth’s Warming!” He went on to list a series of other stops they’d be heading to next, but I paid no attention. Eagerly clasping my bag in my mouth again, I muttered a thanks to the odd unicorn for her time. She nodded politely, once again turning to glance out the window.

Five minutes later, the train began slowing its pace. A look outside revealed that we were rolling into the station, its wooden platform completely empty. I waited patiently for the train to slow to a stop, rocking back a little as it did so. Not wanting to keep my family waiting any longer, I got up and started making my way to the exit.

Well that’s odd, I thought. As I made my way to the front, I found myself paying more attention to the other riders. Not a single one of them got up to exit, though they all seemed to be dressed completely different. Some looked like they stole their clothes straight from my grandmare’s clothing chest, and yet others looked relatively modern. Of course, there was the occasional pony who wore nothing, but their hairstyles and accessories also seemed to cover a number of time periods.

I was so focused on the other riders that I almost bumped into the ticket taker. A nervous blush lit my face as I apologized, making my way past him and to the exit.

“No troubles, m’am,” he promised. “Come ride again soon, ya hear?”

I nodded, stepping out into the snow. Without looking back, I began heading in the direction I knew would lead me home. And yet, as I walked, something was itching at the back of my mind. Something was a bit… off, with that stallion’s voice.


The walk home was uneventful. Despite almost shivering out of my scarf, I’d managed to make the trek to the familiar red-bricked building that I called home. I stepped forward and twisted the knob on the wooden front door, hoping that my family had left it unlocked. I was met with a satisfying click as the knob turned, allowing me access.

I slowly nudged open the door, deciding to surprise the others. Even I didn’t think I’d be coming home; imagine their reactions when they see me! Entering the front hallway, I gently closed the door behind me. Finally getting out of the cold felt heavenly, and I stopped for just a moment to enjoy the feeling. Knowing that I was wasting time, I headed down the hall towards our living room.

I passed our kitchen along the way. It smelled as if it’d just been used. Sterling must have taken some time to help our little girl make some treats for Santa Colt. She sighed happily. I hope she didn’t find the presents in the far back of the pantry.

Leaving it behind, I continued on into our living room. A fire was roaring in the fireplace, our Hearth’s Warming tree seated in the corner across from it. A smile lit my face as I saw the two figures seated in front of the fire; my little girl, playing with her favorite doll, and sitting right behind her in his favorite chair, Sterling Saw. He was enraptured with a novel he’d recently started, barely paying any attention as I snuck up behind the two of them.

I sat the bag quietly behind his chair before sneaking to his front, stopping behind our daughter. They remained completely oblivious as I leaned in close to her and whispered, “Peekaboo!”

She turned, looking towards me with a smile. A grin lit my face as she spoke to me, “Daddy, is momma gonna be home soon?”

“It’s wonderful to see you t-” I froze. A hearty laugh escaped me as I shook my head. “Silly little filly, I’m right he-”

“Hopefully, pumpkin,” Sterling murmured. He flipped a page in his book, muttering to himself. I listened in, catching something akin to ‘where is that mare’.

“Alright,” I announced, “This isn’t a very funny joke.” I glanced between the two; our daughter had gone back to twirling her doll around, and my husband refused to take his nose out of that book. “Cut it out!” I turned and reached forward, determined to give Sterling a piece of my mind.

I gasped. No… that’s impossible. But no, I could see it. My hoof was definitely touching my husband. What I didn’t expect was that it was going right through him. Disbelievingly, I reached farther, watching as my hoof passed cleanly through his shoulder. I pulled back with a yelp. “What’s going on?” I wondered aloud.

Quickly turning, I poked my daughter as well. She remained focused on her toy as my hoof passed right through her head. “This… this makes no sense!” I breathed. “Come on, you two! I’m right here!”

I stomped the ground, I waved my hooves in their face, and I poked and prodded them as much as I could (to the same eerie result), yet they seemed completely convinced that I wasn’t there. With a frustrated yell, I ran back down our front hallway and out into the streets.

There! A lone stallion was walking down the snowy road, most likely heading home from a holiday party or family gathering. With a howl, I leapt at him, thinking it’d be worth scaring him half to death and a possible restraining order as long as it proved I still existed.

Thunk!

My face met the hard ground as I slipped right through him. Glancing up dazedly, I watched as he walked on as if nothing had happened. Refusing to give up, I looked around, spotting a mare coming in the same direction. With a snarl, I leapt again.

Five ponies later, I was still completely invisible. My face sat in the snow; the cold was starting to sting, but I knew if I got up again I’d just attempt another unsuccessful assault in an attempt to be noticed. This… this can’t be happening! I can’t be invisible!

“You’re not invisible.”

My head shot up. I blinked the snow out of my eyes, eager to see who’d finally taken notice. And then I gasped.

A steel wall loomed over me. It was the train I’d came in on, sitting in the least likely of places. This wouldn’t be quite as big a shock, except that is was currently running in the middle of the street. I peeked below it, noting that there were no tracks to be seen. I let out a little shriek as a pony suddenly stepped through the train, passing through me as well as if we didn‘t exist. How the… what the…

“Confused?” The voice said again. The familiar tone caught my attention as I slowly got up, looking at the train car’s entrance. Leaning out of it was the ticket taker, ignoring the snow piling up on his orange coat.

“Yes!” I replied. “What do you mean I’m not invisible? Nopony can see me!”

“I can see you.”

“Yes, but you’re the only one who can! What’s going on?”

The stallion chuckled. “It’ll be a bit difficult to explain, m’am, but I’m sure you’ll come to understand. All will be answered, as soon as you come on board.” He extended a hoof to me. Against my better judgement, I accepted it, allowing him to pull me into the locomotive.

“Alright, I’m on, expla-” I began, pausing as I looked at the ticket taker. My question turned into a shriek as I noted that his form had changed; where once there was an orange coat, there was white. Looking back at me wasn’t the ticket taker, but the pony from the alley who’d given me the ticket in the first place. There was nothing blocking his eyes this time, and I stared at the pupil-less, glowing spheres in terror.

“Welcome aboard, m’am!” He shouted, laughing heartily. “We’re glad to have you back.”


“No luck, Commissioner Colton. Should we call off the search?”

The policepony scratched his head, rubbing his straw-colored mane as he thought. “Let’s give it about ten more minutes before we tell the boys to pack it up.” The search pegasus saluted and flew off, leaving the blue-coated Police Chief to run the facts through his head once more.

The station had had a few ponies come in, claiming that they’d the sound of a massive crash somewhere near the railroad tracks. Specifically, they’d mentioned that they’d heard it coming from the portion that was suspended over a bridge, the one with the Detrot River trickling underneath it. Despite being a bit upset at having to work out in the freezing cold during the holidays, the officers had fulfilled their duty and come to the site. And, to put it simply, they’d found nothing.

Almost nothing, anyway. There were odd marks in the snow, as if something large had moved through it as the object slid down into the river. There were marks on the tracks, looking as if something had run off the rails. And yet, upon inspection of the river and nearby surroundings, there was no sign of anything at all. No ponies, no trains, nothing but the trickling water of the stream. The Commissioner was starting to chalk it up to a big prank, probably based off that urban legend he’d enjoyed so much as a young foal.

How did it go? He wondered, racking his brain. As he recalled, there was a tale that every two or three years, around this time, a train would roll into the station. Anypony was able to get on if they wanted to, but as the legends go, you can’t get off once you’ve entered. Apparently, the train was a ghost locomotive, run by and rode by phantoms that were eager to see new ponies- and then make you one of them. Some ponies say that you could see the train drive by if you were at the right spot on Hearth’s Warming Eve, and if you looked close enough, you could see the faces of missing ponies staring out the window.

Did the Commissioner believe it? Hay no, it was just an old mare’s tale. Still, the Police Chief had to admit, it was a bit odd that these reports always turned up at the same time of year. Still, with absolutely no results to be seen, the Chief was more than eager to send the boys back home and call off this pointless investigation.

Until one of the search pegasi came to him. “Found somethin’, chief,” he stated. The pegasus slipped something small into the Commissioner’s hoof before taking off to resume his search. The police pony eyed it curiously, squinting to see what it was.

It was a bright red ticket, with a hole punched through it. Words seemed to be written on both sides; the top half of the ticket read ‘one-way’, and underneath it was just a name: ‘Fauna’.

Curious… the Commissioner thought. With a shrug, he placed the evidence in the saddlebag on his back. He doubted the ticket would be of much use, but it couldn’t hurt to crosscheck to see if anypony named Fauna had gone missing recently. Best case scenario, it’d probably turn out to just be a piece of litter.

Minutes later, the police chief figured his boys had tried hard enough. He called them back in, ordering everypony to return to the station. Eager to get out of the cold and back to their families, the police ponies obliged. Before he left, the police chief took one last look out at the tracks.

Nothing stirred. With a shrug, the police pony began walking towards town. His ears did manage to pick up something as he left, however. It confused him, seeing as there shouldn’t have been any locomotives running at this hour. It might have just been the wind, but the Commissioner could have sworn he heard a train whistle howling somewhere nearby.

Broken Links

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“Okay, kids, time for a little break!” said Cheerilee to her students.

The foals rushed out of the building and went to the yard to enjoy a few minutes of fun between classes. Apple Bloom opened her saddlebag and took out an apple her family had given her for lunch. She waved at her two friends, who came closer and left their own bags next to her. They sat down and started talking about the last class.

“Boy, those math exercises were really hard!” Scootaloo complained with a sigh. “Those substractions were just too long.”

“They didn't seem that hard to me,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Oh, we have a math genius here,” Scootaloo joked.

“No, no, it's really easy if you look at them as several smaller substractions.”

“Ah dunno,” said Apple Bloom after swallowing the last apple bite. “It was a bit boring, but Ah guess we had to learn that.”

“Well well, look what do we have here, a group of nerds,” said a filly coming towards them.

“Aw, shoot.” Apple Bloom sighed when she saw Diamond Tiara next to them, followed by Silver Spoon.

“Oh, what a coincidence, Apple Bloom, from Sweet Apple Acres eating an apple,” mocked Tiara. “Do you eat those everyday at all times?”

“Yeah, like, apples for breakfast, for lunch, for dinner… Even midnight apple snacks,” added Silver Spoon, giggling.

“You really should think about something better than that y'all,” said Apple Bloom with a smirk. “Yer running out of decent mocking there, fillies.”

“Oh, look, the farm filly here wants to pretend being smart and sophisticated,” Diamond Tiara said, standing on her hind legs and pointing at her. “What's next, some jokes only the smart foals would get? That's almost cute.”

“Yeah, whatever,” said Apple Bloom before she gave the last bite to her apple and threw it in a bin next to her. “C'mon, girls, let's go to the swings.”

“What do you know? Filly genius here enjoys the average foal's fun?”

“Hey, leave her alone already, Tiara,” warned Scootaloo.

“Oh, come on, Scoots, I'm not doing anything wrong, just praising her intelligence. It must be really tough being the family's smart mare, don't you think, Silver Spoon?”

“Uh, Tiara,“ her friend said while stepping back, “I think that's going, like, a bit too far.”

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo noticed Silver Spoon's reaction, something that Tiara didn't, and Apple Bloom couldn't care of, for she was trying to keep calm. She could tolerate Diamond's mocking about her, but not about her family.

“Well, anyway, Apple Bloom, that prestigious mind for math should be studying so you can help your family with all the numbers and such? I'm sure they need a head like yours.”

“Shut… up…” Apple Bloom grunted, giving her friends the feeling that she wouldn't contain herself any longer.

“Oh, what are you going to do? Go crying for your big sis? Smarty cryba-”

Apple Bloom's hind hooves bucked Diamond Tiara and threw her to the ground. She moved in pain trying to get up, just as Apple Bloom turned to her with a frown and showing her teeth.

“Ah've had enough of yer stupid insults!” she cried as she pounced towards Tiara.

Cheerilee galloped as fast as she could, trying to separate both fillies. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle pulled Apple Bloom away from Diamond, who hid behind her teacher. The two fillies were having problems, for her friend was very strong, something that Tiara had learned the hard way.

“No fighting at school!” Cheerilee ordered. Diamond Tiara hugged the teacher's leg, while Apple Bloom kept breathing heavily and her heart pumping fast, still grabbed by her friends, regaining control of herself little by little. “Apple Bloom, Tiara, I'm sending both of you home.”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle noticed that her friend wasn't trying to keep up the fight. She was, in fact, crying with her head lowered.

“Can we accompany her home, Miss Cheerilee?” Sweetie Belle asked. The teacher, who had witnessed the entire conflicted, sighed and nodded slightly. She couldn't let her go on her own like that.

“Okay, but hurry up.”

“I'd like to go with them too,” said Silver Spoon. “I mean, If that's okay with Miss Cheerilee and you, girls.”

Scootaloo was going to object, but Sweetie Belle shook at her. The teacher had already nodded in approval before Apple Bloom's friends accepted her offering.

“Sure, I mean, if that's okay with Apple Bloom,” said Sweetie Belle. “What do you say, Apple Bloom?”

“Ah don't care,” she sobbed without looking at anypony.

The four fillies went her way to Sweet Apple Acres, leaving Tiara and Cheerilee alone with the rest of the foals murmuring.

“Alright, recess is over. Everypony back to class!” she said before turning to Diamond Tiara. “Go home now, young filly.”


The fillies walked through the road, getting close to Sweet Apple Acres. Apple Bloom had calmed down a bit and wasn't crying anymore, but she still kept her head lowered and refused to talk or reply to anypony. The silence became really uncomfortable for all of them.

“Why didn't you stay with Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“I… I didn't like how the situation turned out,” she replied timidly. “Yes, I use to mock ponies to, but I'd never mention a foal's family. That's where I draw the line.”

“So you like mocking other ponies,” Scootaloo grunted.

“You also mock us, girls,” Silver Spoon pointed. “And yes, I admit my defeat. Even more, I like how you make Diamond Tiara feel bad and defeated when you prove her wrong,” she said with a smirk.

“Huh?” both fillies lifted an eyebrow, surprised at the filly's comment.

“Well, I… I think sometimes she goes too far. But she's my only friend, I can't just ignore her, you know? But I know that she crosses the line many times, and I like it when she gets what she deserves.”

“Why don't you hang with us then?”

“Me? Oh, well…” She wondered for a moment, the fillies staring at her while walking. “I don't think I can for now. I… I fear that Diamond Tiara goes after me for that. And seeing Apple Bloom's temperance, I don't think I'll be able to stand as much as she did. But maybe she'll think twice about mocking Apple Bloom from now on.”

“Well, we stand together, the Cutie Mark Crusaders never leave a friend behind!” said Scootaloo, flapping her wings with pride.

“But, uhm… I already have a Cutie Mark.”

“Well, how does 'The Cutie Mark Crusaders plus one' sound like to you?”

Silver Spoon giggled. “I'll think about it, girls.”

Time went by faster with the conversation, so much that they didn't realize they had reached Sweet Apple Acres. Scootaloo knocked on the door and were received by Applejack.

“Huh? Hi y'all,” she greeted, lifting an eyebrow. “Classes sure were over soon today.”

“Uhmm, the truth is…” Sweetie Belle started.

“Miss Cheerilee sent Apple Bloom home,” Scootaloo finished. “There was a filly that was taunting her in the playground and-”

“I beat her,” Apple Bloom interrupted.

“You did what?!” Applejack yelled. “That's not what we taught you, young lady!”

“Please, lady…” Silver Spoon said as she stepped forward.

“Applejack,” she introduced. “Just Applejack.”

“Applejack, a girl called Diamond Tiara started mocking her and her family, and though she tried not to, she kept insulting until she couldn't take anymore. But she really tried to avoid the conflict. We tried to make Tiara stop, but she wouldn't.”

“Alright, young fillies,” said Applejack trying to calm the fillies down. “Apple Bloom, get inside. Thanks for bringing her, girls.” She nodded at them and saw them turn around and leave after waving at Apple Bloom, who was still with her head lowered and refusing to talk. Both Apple fillies got into the house, Applejack getting in front of her younger sister. “Wanna talk about it, lil' one?”

Apple Bloom shook her head, heading slowly towards the bedroom.

“Hey, ya know Ah ain't mad at you,” Applejack said, trying to cheer her up. “Truth is, Ahm proud of you for defending your family name back there.”

Apple Bloom stopped walking, slowly turning back to face her sister, who had a smile on her face.

“Yer…” the young filly started, “yer not mad at me?”

“'Course not. Okay, Ah ain't the most appropriate filly to give lessons about not beating, and you should've talked with your teacher instead of beating, but I trust those fillies and what they told me. Ah didn't know that gray filly there.”

“Silver Spoon? Well, she is… she was Tiara's friend, but after what happened, seems like she doesn't wanna know anything about her.”

“Ah can't blame her. Hey, ya hungry?”

“A bit.”

“Well, let's get something to eat. Ahm sure you'll feel better.”

The little filly smirked and nodded, following her sister to the kitchen to prepare a little and humble feast in honor of the brave Apple Bloom, defender of the Apple Family's name.


Applejack decided to go to school with Apple Bloom the next day. She wanted to know what had happened. If only Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo had brought her sister home, she would've had reasons to doubt, but Silver Spoon was unexpected and, from her point of view, pleasant. When they got to school, Applejack walked inside and checked every room looking for Cheerilee. Apple Bloom didn't move away from her sister, afraid of whatever her teacher would do to her.

“There she is, there's the bully!” a voice screamed from the hall.

Diamond Tiara was pointing at Apple Bloom, and next to her was his father, Filthy Rich. The stallion frowned at them and approached at the newcomers.

“This little girl must be Apple Bloom,” he said, looking at the little filly. “Are you the one who beat my daughter?”

“Only because she started making fun of mah lil' sister!” Applejack said, stepping forward.

“That's not what my Tiara told me. Now, if you don't mind, young lady, I'm talking to you sister here. Now, Apple Bloom, did you beat my daughter?”

Apple Bloom lowered her head and nodded slightly.

“I see. In that case, I think you should apologize to her, in order to make it simple to all of us.”

“But she really made fun of me! She mocked me, and mah family too!” Apple Bloom cried, shaking her head.

“Ah told ya, mah sis ain't a problematic filly, gentlecolt,” Applejack said. “And she defended our name when she couldn't take any more of yer daughter's insults.”

“Is that true, Tiara? Did you make fun of this filly?” he asked, looking at her daughter.

“Of course not, she's just a bully who likes beating weaker ponies!” she cried hiding behind her father.

“That ain't true!” Apple Bloom yelled.

“Is that so? What makes you think they are going to believe your story? Right, Silver Spoon?”

Tiara's friend was getting close to them, with her head lowered.

“Come on, Silver Spoon, tell them what happened.”

She stood in the hall motionless, staring at the walls, the paintings, the ceiling, anywhere but the ponies standing there. Tiara's smile began to fade as her friend appeared to refuse to talk. She shook her head and stepped back.

“Silver Spoon?”

“Sorry, Diamond Tiara,” she ended up saying. “I just can't.”

“Interesting,” Filthy Rich said, looking at her daughter with a lifted eyebrow. If her daughter's best friend wouldn't help her, something strange was going on, and he didn't like where this was going. “I think there is an easier way to solve this, miss.”

“Just Applejack if ya don't mind,” she said raising a hoof. “Ah ain't much of a formal pony mahself.”

“Applejack, then. So, do you know about somepony who witnesses what happened?”

“Well,” Apple Bloom said, “Ah remember Miss Cheerilee reacting really fast. Ah think she saw everything.”

“Excellent then, I think we should talk to this Miss Cheerilee about this.”

“Talk to me about what?” a voice sounded behind them.

“Mornin', Cheerilee,” Applejack greeted tipping her hat.

“Ah, Miss Cheerilee. I'm Filthy Rich, Tiara's father,” Filthy Rich said.

“Oh, what an unexpected visit,” said Cheerilee. “Then again, I'm sure to know the reason of it. Shall we go to my office and talk there?”

Both ponies nodded and the fillies started walking with them. Apple Bloom smiled as she trotted joyfully next to her sister. Tiara, on the other hoof, walked slowly behind her father. Silver Spoon nodded with a smile at Apple Bloom, and tried to avoid looking at her friend Tiara. Cheerilee opened her office's door and stepped aside, allowing the others to get inside first, closing the door behind her after that. She sat on her chair and took a small folder full of papers out of a cupboard and let it on her table.

“I'm afraid I have bad news for you, Mister Rich,” Cheerilee said, shaking her head with a serious expression. “I was playing with some foals in the swings, when I overheard what was happening. Tiara was making fun of Apple Bloom. And even though I disapprove violence,” she said, staring at Apple Bloom, who lowered her head in shame, “she was taunted by your daughter.”

“Is your teacher telling the truth, Tiara?” he asked, getting no response from the filly.

“I would've punished Apple Bloom more severely if it was an isolated event, but I'm afraid that's not the case.” She opened the folder and pushed it towards Filthy Rich, showing a lot of papers with different ink colors and dates. “I note every single trouble my students get themselves in and, as you can see, Diamond Tiara is the class' bully. She's made fun, mocked or insulted most of my students in a certain way. And, as you can see, Applejack, yesterday's fight was the only problem your sister has caused.”

“I see,” Filthy Rich said, massaging his forehead with his hooves. “Well, I think I have a solution that will satisfy all of us. I was fearing that my dear daughter had got herself into trouble but, as I can see,” he said, looking at Tiara, “she seems to be the main problem. But fear not, for I'll solve everything.”
-o-

“A military academy!?” Diamond Tiara screamed.

“Yes, it's a really efficient academy in Canterlot where you'll learn some respect, young lady,” her father said, with a grim look. “I don't want my own flesh and blood to bring shame to the family, and there's no way you can make me reconsider it.”

“But dad, I -”

“No more talking. I trusted you, Tiara. If you lied to me for something like this, what amount of lies could you tell me?”

“But, but…”

“Enough. Get in the chariot.”

Diamond Tiara got into the vehicle, looking back to see if somepony was doing the same. Sadly for her, nopony was. Everypony was looking down, saddened for the departure of her schoolmate.

“Goodbye, Diamond Tiara,” said Silver Spoon, waving her hoof weakly. The filly inside the chariot refused to wave back at her, giving her back a furious glare.

“Once again, I apologize in the name of my daughter, Apple Bloom,” Filthy Rich said. “Though I hate violence myself, I can appreciate and respect you for defending the honor of your family. But then again, next time, if this happens again, tell it to Miss Cheerilee before doing something you might regret, understood?”

“Yes, Mister Rich,” said Apple Bloom, lowering her head. “Ahm sorry for beatin' your daughter. Ah know it wasn't right.”

“Apology accepted,” he replied raising a hoof. “She was asking for it, if I may say it even though it's my daughter. I hope she learns a lesson or two in Canterlot. Now, we must go. It's been a pleasure meeting you, Applejack, Miss Cheerilee, though I'd have preferred the meeting to happen in different circumstances.” He offered his hoof and shook both mares'. When the stallion got on the chariot, the driver snapped the reins and left the school.

Apple Bloom approached to Silver Spoon, who was alone next to where the chariot was standing a few seconds a go. She looked defeated and, when she felt the filly getting close to her, she pounced towards her to hug her. Apple Bloom could feel Silver Spoon's distraught as she remembered how Tiara refused to wave her back. That bully was her only friend, and she wasn't among them anymore. They didn't even know if they'd see her again. Silver Spoon's tears fell on Apple Bloom's shoulders.

“Don't worry,” Apple Bloom said, caressing the filly's head. “Yer not alone.”

“But, but…” Silver Spoon tried to say.

“Shh, it's okay. Remember, you can still join the “Cutie Mark Crusaders plus one, as Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo told ya, right, girls?”

“Yeah!” both fillies cried as they ran towards them.

“Girls, after… after everything Tiara and I have done to you… You still want me to join you?”

“Why not?” said Scootaloo. “You may have been a meanie, but you stood, or at least didn't stand by Tiara's side when she lied saying that Apple Bloom beat her just because. You're a cool filly after all.”

“Thank you… really, thank you!”

“Come on, girls. Cutie Mark Crusaders group huggers!” cried Sweetie Belle and the three fillies hugged their new friend.

Burning with Desire

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Spitfire folded her wings and fell. She had done the maneuver a thousand times, but it still sent a chill down her spine. As before, she fell perfectly. With almost no drag to slow her down, she accelerated downwards faster than ever before. Only this time she didn’t flare her wings just above the ground; no, this time her target was much higher up.

She shifted her wings the slightest bit, changing the angle of her dive. Without her suit on, the change was more drastic than she intended. Still, she didn’t slow down. She hurtled towards the cloud house floating above a small town at an unimaginable speed, her trademark storm cloud trail replaced her natural streak of orange fire. As she fell, the town grew quickly, but her target grew even faster. The cloud home was magnificent, even by her standards. It was ringed with arches perfectly formed from clouds, columns of solid cloud held the upper floors, but what was most striking was the fountains. They were made of cascading cloud pools, filled with liquid rainbows that flowed out of the bowls and into others.

As Spitfire studied the multicoloured fountains, she forgot to stop herself and crashed directly into the base of the house. As she collided with the cloud foundation, she lost all semblance of controlling her flight path. She came to a stop a few feet into the base of the house, her head spinning. She could only hear one thing: a clear, sweet laughter coming from the reaches of the house. Spitfire tried to stand in the crater she had caused, but quickly lost her balance and fell back down.

“Celestia damn it,” she muttered to herself. It had been years since she had lost control like that. She felt the blood rush to her face, and buried it in the clouds. No-no-no-no, this can’t be happening. I’m Spitfire, Captain of the Wonderbolts, the best pegasi in all of Equestria. I don’t mess up, I don’t get distracted. Feeling slightly better about her situation, Spitfire looked up from the clouds only to find a set of purple eyes staring right at her. She could feel Rainbow Dash’s breath on her face, and could see nothing but Rainbow’s face and mane. They sat in silence for a minute that seemed to stretch on for eternity.

Rainbow broke away first saying, “Oh my gosh! Spitfire! Here!” She flew off and started doing loops and corkscrews.

Spitfire lifted herself off the clouds and, with a sharp flap of her wings, launched herself into the air. She grinned devilishly as she aimed her flight path. Rainbow was doing a series of tight loops at the time, but Spitfire intercepted her. Normally she would’ve held them both, but Rainbow didn’t stop flying, sending them tumbling into a flat spin. For the second time, Spitfire lost control of herself and fell. She didn’t know what to do, so she followed her instinct, and wrapped herself around Rainbow and shut her eyes tight.

It didn’t take long before she felt an impact with what she could only assume was the clouds below them. They bounced across the clouds a few times before finally coming to a stop against a wall. She slowly opened her eyes, and found herself staring right into Rainbow’s face... again. Blushing a red so deep it turned her normally yellow coat beat red, she let go of Rainbow and smiled awkwardly.

“We have got to stop meeting like this.” Rainbow chuckled as she tried to untangle herself from Spitfire. It took a few minutes, and several clever acrobatic feats, but they finally managed to separate without damaging each other’s wings. “So...” Rainbow started, “What brings you out to Ponyville?”

“I... uh... just came out here to see how you were doing after the Gala. We didn’t have much time to stay last time, what with the dragon rampaging and all.” Spitfire chuckled nervously to herself. At least it isn’t a complete lie, she reasoned.

Rainbow gave her a hard, disbelieving look, but relented when Spitfire showed no signs of breaking. She sighed and let herself relax. Her shoulders drooped and her ears laid back in exhaustion. “I’ve been... good. It’s been tiring around here recently, but my friends are awesome and keep me going.”

Spitfire had seen few ponies manage to look as downtrodden as Rainbow looked. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Of course I am!” Rainbow perked up slightly, but it sounded blatantly forced to Spitfire.

“Okay, fine.” Spitfire sighed. “Well, Rainbow I came here to talk to you about...” she trailed off as Rainbow pressed her nose against Spitifire’s. “Yes?” she asked, taking a half step backwards.

“You... came all the way to Ponyville... to talk to me?” Rainbow asked eagerly.

“Well, yeah. Is that weird?” she asked, cringing as the question left her mouth.

“It isn’t. It’s just that you’re a Wonderbolt!” She lifted herself off the clouds and threw her hooves up to make her point. “And the captain of the Wonderbolts too! Do you realize how awesome this is?” Rainbow bounced back and forth on the clouds in excitement.

“Heh, I guess it is kind of cool,” Spitfire admitted, surprised at the compliment. “Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for ignoring you at the Grand Galloping Gala and actually talk to you.”

At the mention of the Gala incident, Rainbow stopped bouncing and returned to her downtrodden attitude. “Oh... well I guess all those super-important ponies were kind of more important than a small time pegasus like me...”

“Rainbow Dash, you are not ‘small time,’” Spitfire retorted. “You won the Best Young Flier’s competition, helped stop Nightmare Moon, and performed the impossible Sonic Rainboom three times.” Dash’s mouth was hanging wide open. “Oh... yeah, well the truth is... I’ve kind of been keeping my eye on you for a while now.” She scratched her head awkwardly with a hoof.

Rainbow and her stared into each other’s eyes for a few long minutes, each trying to force the other to see things the way they did. They stood on the steps leading up to the cloud house, locked in a battle of wills. Eventually, Rainbow broke eye contact and sighed to herself. “I guess you’re right...”

“You guess?!” Spitfire scoffed. “How about this, we have a little race to prove it.” Rainbow Dash perked up at the mention of a race. Looking through the clouds filling the sky, she saw one particular line of clouds that looked especially promising. She outlined it for Rainbow with her hoof. “We fly though that line of clouds. Right through them and whoever reaches the final cloud first wins. Simple enough?”

Rainbow nodded in agreement. She could never have passed up a race against a Wonderbolt, much less the captain of the Wonderbolts.

Spitfire drew a starting line in the cloud with her hoof, and lined up in a racer’s stance at it. Rainbow lined up next to her, her attitude from earlier replaced with an air of focus and confidence. “3,” Spitfire said, sneaking a peak over at Rainbow. “2.” Rainbow’s wings were fluttering, but not as anxiously as earlier. “1.” Rainbow’s wings quivered one last time before settling down in preparation. “Go,” Spitfire yelled as she shot off from the starting line.

A few flaps of her wings accelerated her to a ridiculous speed. The first few clouds puffed away in front of her as she blew through them. Looking back, Spitfire didn’t see Rainbow behind her. Damn it, I try and be nice and she ditches me, she thought.

“Looking for me?” The voice came from above her.

Looking up, Spitfire saw that Rainbow was flying perfectly even with her. With a laugh she taunted, “Okay, try keeping up slowpoke.” With only a few flaps of her wings, she nearly doubled her speed. Still, Rainbow didn’t let her get away and kept with her pace. Before long, she saw the finishing cloud coming up. I am so winning this, Spitfire boasted to herself. She was already going near her top speed, but she pushed herself even faster.

As the finishing line approached she felt a sudden updraft of warm air catch her wings. She tried to maintain her speed and trajectory, but her efforts were fruitless. For the third time that day, she lost control of herself in flight. All she felt was a sinking feeling, and the world started to spin. Up and down lost all meaning, there was no East or West, or North or South. The only thing she saw was the cloud as she hurtled towards it.

She slammed into it in an explosion of white fluff. The cloud slowed her momentum, but was blown apart in the process. Spitfire closed her eyes against what she knew was coming. She had made a mistake, again. Now she was dropping towards the ground with all the aerodynamics and control of a boulder. However she knew the falling wouldn’t hurt, it was the sudden stop when she hit the ground that terrified her.

So she fell, until suddenly she felt the feeling of falling start to fade. She opened her eyes and looked up, only to find Rainbow lifting her out of the fall.

“C-can you help out a little?” Rainbow wheezed.

A few flaps of her wings later, Spitfire had righted herself and was gliding towards a cloud nearby. It was wide enough for both of them to rest on, and she knew that both of them needed it. She landed on the cloud gently, double checking to make sure it was solid. As she lay down on the cloud, she felt Rainbow settle onto it as well.

“I guess I owe you one,” Spitfire said.

“Don’t worry about it,” Rainbow said nonchalantly.

“No, I mean it Rainbow. You saved my life, again. That isn’t something I can just ignore. I owe you one, at least.” Spitfire stretched her wings, making sure they hadn’t been damaged during her fall.

“So, I guess I won the race.” Rainbow said, the previous somber attitude overcoming her confident charm.

“It was a draw on account of–”

“You nearly falling to your death?” Rainbow interrupted.

“Yeah, that’s a lot better than my reason.” Spitfire shrugged. A silence filled the air, not even broken by the tweets of the birds. After a few minutes, Spitfire broke the silence. “So, about why I came to talk to you. I think you deserve more than... well the lies I’ve been telling you so far.” She felt a pit of fear rise up in her stomach. It was months ago that she had come to terms with this, but to tell another pony? To tell Rainbow specifically? It seemed like madness.

“I didn’t come here for the Wonderbolts,” Spitfire continued. “I came here for more... personal reasons. I came here to talk to you, to see you, and to hang out with you Rainbow. I came here because you’ve saved my life, twice now. I came to visit because I like you Rainbow.”

She could see as realization dawned on Rainbow’s face. Her melancholy expression was replaced with one of shock. “You... you what?” Rainbow exclaimed.

Spitfire felt her face flush, but continued on. “I like you Rainbow, like-like you. I kind of have for a while... I just didn’t want to spoil your chances of getting into the Wonderbolts. There is a rule against members dating other members and they wouldn’t let you in.”

Rainbow was crying.

“R-Rainbow... are you okay?” Spitfire reached out a hoof to comfort her, but Rainbow shook it off. Spitfire watched as Rainbow flared her wings, and with one powerful flap took off without saying a word.


Rainbow Dash flew as fast as she could. She didn’t look to see where she was flying, her eyes were shut tight against the tears flowing out of them. She flew to get as far away from reality as possible. She flew on and on. She flew past clouds and mountains. She flew past Froggybottom Swamp and Canterlot. Finally, as Cloudsdale came into sight, she had to stop and lie down on a cloud.

Stopping gave her thoughts time to catch up to her. As she relived every moment, every word that had been said, waves of emotion rolled through her; anger, fear, sadness, hatred, and acceptance, happiness, relief, and one other emotion that she couldn’t pin down. On one hoof, she was upset with Spitfire for potentially ruining her chances at becoming a Wonderbolt. On the other hoof, she couldn’t figure out why, but thinking about being with Spitfire made her happy.

Get a hold of yourself! Think you knucklehead, she told herself.

Okay, so Spitfire likes me, like-likes me. Maybe even loves me. But if we were ever together, I couldn’t join the Wonderbolts, thought another part of her.

Is that any way to think about this?

Well... I guess not. Rainbow stopped conversing with herself for a minute to remember the day they had spent together after the Best Young Flier’s competition, the best day of her life. I guess she is kind of... well stunning. Even the innocent thought made her blush.

And... ?

And... well I do kind of like her too. But she’s the captain of the Wonderbolts. I’ve spent my entire life dreaming of and working to become a Wonderbolt, I can’t just give that up. Her ears drooped back, and her shoulders fell.

You–

“Rainbow? Are you okay?” called Spitfire.

At the sound of her voice, Rainbow shrunk down into the cloud to make herself as small and indiscernible as possible. For the first time in years, she didn't want to be seen.

"Rainbow, I just want to apologize," Spitfire called again.

Rainbow made a sound somewhere between a moan and a squeak, but it was enough for Spitfire to find her. She felt the cloud shift as Spitfire landed next to her. "Listen Rainbow," Spitfire started.

"Just... don't," Rainbow said sadly. "Spitfire–"

"Rainbow, just let me say my piece. I came here because I wasn't sure, but once I saw you, I was," Spitfire said softly. "I shouldn't have though. I realize that now. "

"So, let me get this straight.” Rainbow stood up, anger and sadness burning in her eyes. “You come here, tell me you really like me and want to be with me, but we can’t be together, and now you’re just going to leave? You’re not even going to try and work it out?” In her anger, Rainbow stomped a hoof on the cloud causing it to start raining on whatever was below them.

“Rainbow... I-I... “ Spitfire stopped to choke down a sob as tears formed in her eyes. “I was going to resign if everything worked out. I was going to quit Rainbow, give it all up for you.”

Rainbow stared at her dumbstruck. She’d really give up everything for me?

“Rainbow, I’m so sorry. I... I just couldn’t make myself not like you. Can we still stay friends? I... I don’t know what I’d do without you Rainbow.” Spitfire struggled to stand for a moment before collapsing onto the cloud and breaking into tears.

Rainbow’s heart wrenched upon seeing the other mare’s breakdown, and she felt the same indescribable emotion she had been unable to pin down earlier. She hesitated for a moment, then instinct and impulse took over. “Spitfire, I won’t let you quit. You are the most amazing, awesome flier I’ve ever seen. There is no way I’ll let you stop performing for me.”

Spitfire looked up at her, her eyes red and cheeks stained from tears. “So... you don’t li–”

“When did I say that?” Rainbow interrupted. She hadn’t realized it before, but she knew this feeling. It was the same feeling that had made that day with the Wonderbolts so amazing. “Spitfire, I do like you. I... I guess I have for a few months, I just didn’t know it.” She paused, letting her mind catch up to what she was saying.

Spitfire looked up at her, and asked, “But what about your dreams? If you won’t let me quit, and we’re together they won’t let you join the Wonderbolts.”

Rainbow gave a short chuckle. “You’re captain of the Wonderbolts, and I’m one of the best fliers in all of Equestria.” She leaned in close to Spitfire, who still looked depressed, and whispered, “Besides, I think we can work things out and you gave me a one way ticket to your heart.”

Without waiting for a response, Rainbow leaned in and kissed Spitfire softly.

Granny Cranberry

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"Mom! Dad! I need you and the sisters to come here quick." I stepped back to admire my handiwork. The streamers hung from the roof, making a perfect background for the big centrepiece cake. Pin the tail on the pony was set up in the corner of the room. Everything was set up and ready for my family to enjoy. I just had to wait for everypony to show up.

Dad walked out and rubbed his face with his hoof. He didn't even look at the decorations or the cake or all the party games. "Pinkamena, this is the fifth day in a row you've done this. I'll admit the first one was fun, but you can't do this every day. Now clean this up and help move the gneiss."

"Aww. Come on, Daddy. Don't be such a grumpy-wumpy."

Dad just stared back at me. "Now, Pinkame-"

"Yes, Clyde, don't be such a 'grumpy-wumpy.'" A familiar red mare trotted over from the path.

"Grandma!" I rushed over to give her a big hug.

"How's my little Pinkie-winkie?" She picked me up and spun me around. "Did you set up this party? It looks absolutely wonderful."

Dad turned his half-lidded stare to Grandma. "Don't encourage her, Cranberry Glee."

"Come now, Clyde. That's no way to address your dear old mother." She opened her hooves wide.

Dad stayed put. "What are you doing here, Cranberry?"

Grandma set me down on the ground and trotted over to Dad. "The restaurant where I worked shut down. I've tried to find another job, but nopony's hiring an old mare like me." She sighed. "I need a place to stay."

Dad kept his stern look focused on Grandma. "I told you this would happen. I said you needed to save for retirement and stop travelling to a new place every few years. Now, who was right?"

Grandma kept her head bowed. "You've done such a great job with this place, Clyde. I've never said that your ideas were wrong. I just knew, they weren't for me."

"What if I don't let you stay?"

"You wouldn't kick your own mother out on the street, would you?"

Daddy stayed silent.

Grandma rolled her eyes. "I should have figured." She ran hoof over her mane. "While I'm here, I'll do as much as I can to help. I can't do much in the fields, but I can take small loads, help around the house, even watch over the little ones if you and Roxy want a night out." She smiled a big, humongous smile.

Daddy stared at her for a few seconds. "Fine. You can stay in the guest bedroom."

"Yay! Grandma gets to live with us!" I cried, bouncing up and down. "You know what this calls for?"

Dad scowled at me. "Pinkamena, what did I say about those?"

Grandma put a hoof on his shoulder. "Clyde, let the girl have her fun. Besides, a family member is coming around. That's a perfect cause for celebration."

Daddy rolled his eyes and trotted off. But he didn't say I couldn't. "Yay!" I yelled. "A party!"

"This certainly is a wonderful party, Pinkie. Have I ever taught you to make my special cranberry-chocolate cupcakes?"

"Oh, can you? Can you? Can you? That would be just- just- fantastic!" I could barely keep myself from bouncing all over.

"Well, of course, I can teach my granddaughter to make cupcakes. But first-" She looked very serious for a moment, then broke into a big smile. "-we have get everyone to come celebrate with us."


"Mom! Dad! Grandma! I need you and the sisters to come here quick."

Dad walked over and I could hear his mumbling. "Please let it be something else. Anything but-"

"Surprise!" I jumped out and threw confetti. "It's a party! Aren't you excited?"

"This is the fourth one this week, Pinkamena," Dad grumbled. "We don't have time for this. We have a huge order of granite to get out by tomorrow and I barely have enough energy to work."

"I know," I said. "I just saw how stressed and unhappy everypony was and I knew that this was just the time for a party. Come on in! There's cake and dancing-"

"How long did this take?" Dad's voice was flat and grating.

"I don't know. Time flies when you're having fun with a party. A few hours maybe?"

"You wasted time setting up a party when you could have been helping with the granite?" Dad's eyes widened and his breathing intensified. He was awful scary. "We could be done by now. But no, you had to spend the day setting up this stupid party!"

"But after the party, you'll be happy and ready to finish. Then once your done, we can throw a 'We finished the big granite order' party! It'll be so much fun."

"No! It-" He walked over right next to me and spoke in a lowered voice. "You think every problem can be solved with a party, don't you?"

"Well, duh. Every problem can be solved with a party."

"Really?" He walked away and stared at a pebble on the ground. I thought he must be trying to make it grow faster. Then, shaking his head, he came back over to me. "Let me see your hoof."

I held out my hoof to him and looked up at him. He shut his eyes. "Well, then how's your party going to solve this?" I couldn't stifle my scream as his hoof slammed into my knee.

I sat on the ground trembling. Dancing was out of the question. I just wanted to curl up and disappear. But disappearing was out of the question too. I just waited for Daddy to come back.

"Did the party fix that?" He waited outside, near the entrance of the door.

I shook my head no.

He bent down next to me and placed some ice on my knee. "Hold this there and it will make it feel better." I nodded slightly, clutching the ice to my knee. The ice hurt a little at first, but it quickly started to dull the pain.

"Pinkie, you know I don't like doing this, but you need to learn that not every problem can be solved with a party. Sometimes the problem is a boulder that needs to be moved and we just need to work our way through. I know how much you love doing this, but there is a time for parties. I just need you to learn when that time is. So I want you to stop throwing unscheduled parties."

I nodded slightly, clutching the ice to my knee.

"I'll tell you what. We have a big order of quartz to fill next week. When we're done with that I'll help you throw the biggest party this farm has ever seen. How does that sound?"

I nodded slightly, clutching the ice to my knee.

"Good, I'm glad we could talk about this. Let's get you off this hard ground and somewhere more comfortable." I nodded slightly, clutching the ice to my knee. He carefully picked me up and set me on his back, then carried me to my room. He gently laid me down on the bed and ran a hoof over my mane. "Feel better, Pinkie." He took one glance back at me and walked out of the room.

Gasping for air, I let the tears I'd been holding back flow freely.

"Knock knock." Grandma peeked her head around the door. "I've never seen my granddaughter so quiet. What's going on, sweetie?" She took one look at the ice on my knee and sighed.

"Why does Daddy have to be all scary sometimes?" I asked.

Grandma sat on the edge of my bed and gave me a big hug. "Clyde isn't a bad pony, he's just different from us," she explained. "He's so focused on results and getting the work done, which is laudable, but not what we care about. We just want ponies to have fun and enjoy themselves."

"But why does he have to be so scary?"

"That's just the way he responds to things sometimes. It's not your fault, it's just the situation." She looked into my eyes, but I wasn't feeling any better. "Come here, Pinkie. I'm going to tell you a secret."

I leaned in close to her, only to be mercilessly tickled. After a brief giggling fit, I looked into her eyes. She was smiling. My tears were gone and I couldn't help but smile.

"You see, Pinkie. You can't be scared when you're laughing. If you ever feel sad or scared or nervous, all you have to do is laugh and those feelings will disappear."

"You're right, Grandma. I feel all happy again." I glanced down at my knee. "My knee still hurts though."

"Let me see that." She carefully lifted my injured foreleg and looked over the knee. "You've certainly got a bruise there. It'll get pinchy on you every so often, but it'll heal up just fine." She gave it a big kiss. "There, that's better."

I giggled. "Yup. It sure is." Grandma always made me smile. "I wish you could make Daddy as happy as you make me."

"I wish that too. Remember how I said he was different than me?"

I nodded, this time paying attention instead of just trying not to cry.

"Well, I don't think he enjoyed my parenting style. All the moving and instability was difficult for Clyde. That's why he works so hard on this rock farm. He wants you all to have a permanent home for your entire lives. Not to move around everywhere like I did when he was just a young colt. He sees this rock farm as a rock that you and your sisters can use as a foundation for the rest of your lives."

"But, rocks are so- boring."

"I know. But boring also means safe, so not everypony hates boring." She massaged her forehead with her hoof. "Clyde certainly doesn't, and I would never expect him to change. That's part of who he is." She turned to look at me. "Just like I don't want you to change being happy and throwing parties. It's part of who you are."

"But Daddy said he didn't want me throwing parties. Does that mean he doesn't love me?"

"No sweetie." She hugged me close. "He tries to do what's best for you, he just doesn't understand how important those parties are. He loves you, Pinkie. Even if he doesn't know the best way to show it." She gave me a quick squeeze. "Okay, we should both get some sleep. Good night, Pinkie."

"Good night, Grandma." She slowly walked out of the room and I curled up on my bed.

There was a knock on my door. Dad stepped into the doorway. "Can I come in?"

I nodded slightly- No! Grandma told me that laughing would make everything less scary. "Hahaha. Hi, Daddy," I said.

A big grin came over Dad's face. "Oh, good." He enveloped me in a hug. "I'm glad you're feeling better. I brought you something Pinkie." He placed a rock in my hoof. It was smooth granite, about the size of my hoof, rounded from years of weather. "It was one of the first rocks I harvested. As long as you have this rock, you'll have part of the farm with you. And you'll be part of the farm. Part of this family."

I looked up at him. He didn't look scary anymore. He just looked like my Daddy. Grandma was right. Laughing really does make the scary things go away. I hugged back, smiling too.


"Mom! Dad! Grandma! I need you and the sisters to come here quick." Everypony was gathered in Grandma's room.

"Pinkamena," Dad scolded, "what have I told you about these parties?"

"Cut the girl some slack, Clyde." Grandma winked at me. "She's just trying to cheer everypony up. Aren't you, Pinkie?"

"Yes indeedy, Granny. Do you want me to bring you some cake? Or I have those cranberry-chocolate cupcakes you taught me to make?"

"I would love a cupcake, dearie."

"Now wait a minute, Pinkie." Daddy interrupted, putting a hoof on my shoulder. "Cranberry, the doctor said-"

"Clyde, look at me. One cupcake isn't going to kill me any faster." She looked back at me, flashing me a smile. "You go get me that cupcake."

I bounced away, but then turned back. "Grandma, what do you mean 'kill you any faster'? You're going to get better right?"

"C'mere Pinkie." I climbed into her bed and gave her a big hug. She returned the hug, slowly rocking me back and forth. "You know that nopony lives forever."

I squeezed tighter. "Please don't go, Grandma. We can beat it together. I'll make you laugh so hard, we'll send that bad sickness all the way to the moon."

Grandma chuckled. "I'm afraid the world doesn't work that way, sweetie. But-" She leaned in close and started to whisper. "-I promise I'll always be right here." She placed her hoof on my chest.

"My chest? Why would you be in my chest?"

"In your heart, you silly filly. As long as you keep laughing and having fun, as long as you stay true to yourself, I'll be there with you."

"So everytime I throw a party?"

Grandma nodded. "Yup. I'll be right there with you." She gave me another squeeze. "Now, go get me that cupcake and let's have a little party. Bring cupcakes for everyone."

"Right away, Grandma!"


"Mom! Dad!" Don't say it. "I need you and the sisters to come here quick." I crouched behind the door.

"No!" Dad galloped over.

I set off a confetti cannon for him. "Surprise! It's a p-"

"Not today!" Dad scowled at me. He'd never been a big fan of the confetti cannons. "You've gone too far this time. Have some respect."

"Well, nothing says respect like cupcakes!" I offered him one of the cranberry-chocolate ones.

He slapped the tray away, sending the cupcakes to the ground. "You're not listening, Pinkamena. I said, 'Not today.'"

Daddy was being all scary again. Her cupcakes were ruined, but grandma would still want everypony to be happy and not scary. I hoped she could see me doing what she had taught me. "Hahaha," I said, "Daddy, you don't have to be a silly pony. You can just party."

"Do you think this is funny? That the death of a family member is something to laugh about?" He was shouting now. I was even more scared and I wasn't sure laughing would make it go away. My forced giggle was immediately drowned out by Daddy's yelling.

"Dammit, Pinkamena! Just once I wish you would take something seriously!" He started pulling down all my hard work. "No more parties. None. This is a rock farm and I expect you to work these rocks like the rest of us."

"But, Daddy-"

"No 'but's. I don't want to see another party as long as I live. Now get to work. You can start by cleaning up-" He yanked at the decorations, sending them crashing to the ground. "-this abomination."

With one tug, he crushed a morning's worth of effort and happiness. I thought I would be mad, but all I cared about was how awful granny would feel about me tearing down her party. I picked one of the ruined cupcakes off the ground. I wasn't in much of a mood to party anyway. "Okay, Clyde."


There were a lot of ponies at the train station. With that many ponies, I could have had the best party ever. But I didn't have the supplies I would need for a big party like that. All I had were my two saddlebags. So I waited in line to get my ticket like the rest of the ponies around me. It was boring.

"Can I have one train ticket, please?" I asked.

"Would you like round trip ticket or just one way?" asked the ticketpony.

My saddlebags felt really heavy all of the sudden, like they were filled with rocks. Well, one of them had a rock. It was smooth granite, about the size of my hoof, rounded from years of weather. I took a deep breath and tossed it aside. I didn't need a boring old rock weighing me down. "One way." I took my ticket, let out a giggle and waited for the train.

First Impressions

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The Ponyville train station was a pretty wooden building with pink walls. Both were newly-painted, as the station itself had been constructed very recently. The low, late-afternoon sun heated the empty steel tracks.

Pinkie Pie bounced near the edge of the station's only platform, eagerly peering out at the still-barren tracks. Her eyes shone brighter than the sun at that moment.

"What are we doing here, Pinkie?" Twilight Sparkle asked from her position on the bench just in front of the stationhouse, where she was reading a book with far duller eyes than her friend's. "And why did I have to come, again?"

"Because you really need to get out more, Twilight!" Pinkie answered, shooting a glance over her back. "Sitting in that library all day must be sooooo boring! You should be thanking me!"

"Yes, um, thank you Pinkie Pie," Twilight replied, not looking up from her book. "Thank you for inexplicably dragging me out here without even giving a reason."

"You're welcome, Twilight!"

"..."

Just then, Pinkie's whole body tensed up, as if she was about to go into a spasm - which she promptly did.

"Pinkie! What's wrong?!" Twilight shouted, forgetting her book and rushing to her friend's side.

Pinkie writhed and convulsed on the wooden floor, shaking and jerking around without abandon. Thinking quickly, Twilight jumped in-between her and the edge of the platform, preventing her from writhing off the edge.

"It's... my... PINKIE SENSE!" Pinkie forced out between convulsions. "Something... isgoingtohappen! Atthistrain... station!"

"Is that why you dragged me out here? Why didn't you tell me?!"

"It... was... meanttobeasurprise!"

"This is a horrible surprise, Pinkie!"

Then, just as suddenly as it began, the convulsions stopped. Pinkie's muscles relaxed, and she collapsed into a limp heap of pink pony parts on the floor.

Twilight tentatively poked her friend with a hoof. "So, uh, 'something is going to happen at this train station'. Got it. Do you have any idea what?"

Pinkie gave a weak shrug. "My Pinkie Sense isn't a science, Twilight. Like, when my tail twitches, I just know that something is going to fall! But it would be super-duper terrific if I could know what it was! Like if one twitch meant an anvil, and then two twitches could mean a haystack... ooh, and THREE twitches could mean a giant pinata full of candy and presents! Wouldn't that be amazing?!"

"Sure, why not?" Twilight replied, feeling exhausted from talking to Pinkie for so long.

CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUG!

"Look! The train's coming!" Pinkie bounced to the very edge of the platform and _teetered_ over its edge, with a more sensible Twilight coming to a stop a good few inches behind her.

The two ponies looked out at the colourful new train that was riding in from the north-east. Having returned from Canterlot, it would likely contain a few of their unicorn acquaintances from around town, like the lyre-player and the unicorn with the mane that looked like toothpaste.

"Rarity didn't take a trip to Canterlot that I forgot about, did she?" asked Twilight.

"No, silly! She already went last week! And besides, I don't get a doozy like THAT whenever Rarity gets back from a trip! That would be silly!"

"So... somepony else is on this train?" asked Twilight. "Somepony you know?"

"Maaaaybe," Pinkie replied. "Or maybe the sky is going to fall!"

"Pinkie Pie, it is quite impossible for the sky to 'fall', because--"

Much to Pinkie's probable relief, her friend's lecture was cut short as the train finally pulled up to the platform and came to a stop. The doors of the various cars slid open, and within moments ponies began disembarking.

"I assume that this latest 'doozy' has something to do with somepony on this train," announced Twilight. "It's the most logical explanation."

"Oh, Twilight..." sighed Pinkie.

Turning away from her friend and ignoring her sighs, Twilight surveyed the disembarking ponies. At first, nopony struck her as particularly special. Most of the train's occupants had been unicorns, and most of them were familiar faces from around Ponyville. There was Sparkler, the babysitter. Then there was Lyra, followed by Colgate, followed by that one friend of Moondancer's Twilight simply could not remember the name of... what was she doing in Ponyville?

The train was soon empty, all of its passengers hastily leaving from the station. Twilight had noticed nopony out of the ordinary. Maybe Pinkie's sense isn't a warning about anypony on the train, she thought. Maybe...

"Twilight! Come say hello to my new friend!"

He had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Twilight was sure she'd spotted and mentally documented every single passenger on the train that afternoon, but the figure of an unfamiliar stallion standing next to Pinkie proved her wrong.

"Hello..." Twilight began, her voice edged with suspicion.

The stallion nodded. Twilight narrowed her eyes at him. At the back of her mind, a niggling little voice told her to remember her studies on friendship and be nice, but there was something off about this guy. His mane was a deep crimson, and his coat a dark, dark blue. His irises were a dark grey, almost to the point of being black. She had never seen anypony with colours quite like his.

"His name's Lo- uh... Lot"--Pinkie snapped her head around to face the stallion--"what was your name again?"

"Lothlorium."

"I'm gonna call you you Lotty! Spotty Lotty! ...Except you don't have spots... Ooh, ooh! Not-Spotty Lotty!"

The stallion said nothing. His face stayed perfectly still, keeping its blank, bored expression. Twilight noticed that his cutie mark was a spread-out purple fan.

Oblivious to her new friend's cold demeanour, Pinkie continued speaking. "I think Not-Spotty Lotty--wow that's a mouthful--is the pony my Pinkie Sense was telling me about! He says he's new in Ponyville, and--get this!--new in Equestria!"

Twilight raised her eyebrows at this. "You're from outside of Equestria? Where exactly?"

Lothlorium blinked at her. "A faraway land. We call it Yggsuyobghajkwlr... you've probably never heard of it."

Now it was Twilight's turn to blink. Several times. In surprise. She had previously been unaware that the equine throat was capable of creating such horribly guttural noises.

"No... I can't say I have..." she answered.


Lothlorium was shown to Ponyville's inn by Twilight and Pinkie. When questioned on how long he would be in town, or what his intentions in coming there had been, he replied with vague mutterings, so the girls soon stopped badgering him about it.

After saying goodbye to their new acquaintance, each with a different degrees of enthusiasm, Twilight and Pinkie headed away from the inn and walked through the town together for a little while, watching the sunset.

"Lothlorium... what a strange name..." Twilight thought aloud. "I wonder what the naming customs are in that place he said he was from."

"Hehe!" Pinkie laughed. "Did you see the funny faces he made when he was saying that! What if _that's_ how they name their kids! Then, whenever they need to say their name, they get to make a special face! Oh! That must be the best!"

"An interesting hypothesis, Pinkie Pie," Twilight replied, smiling amusedly.

Pinkie looked over at Twilight and scrunched her face between her hooves, pulling her mouth into a crooked position. "PPAINKAYE PLEEAGE!"

Before she could react, Pinkie grabbed Twilight's face between her forehooves in much the same way. "TWWWILLAAAA SPRAKREL!" she shouted.

Normally, Twilight might have been less amused by such antics, but spending so much time with Pinkie was wearing her down, and the girl's giggles were infectious. Soon, both ponies were chuckling and chortling heartily, only stopping once it was time to part ways.


Light streamed in through the window next to Twilight's bed, disturbing her rest.

"Uurgh, just five more minutes..." she groaned, burying her head in her pillow.

"Nope! The time to get up is now! Seize the day! The early pony catches the alfalfa!" said a deep, masculine voice.

Twilight's eyes shot open. In a flash, she jumped out of bed and swivelled around to face the intruder. Her horn lit up as she lowered herself into a defensive stance. "Who let you in?"

Lothlorium, who was looking far more at ease than he had been the previous morning, casually said, "Uh... Spike did. Just met him this morning. He's a cool little dude."

"And why are you waking me up?"

"Spike said he can never wake you up after late-night study sessions, and he didn't want you to miss breakfast. He's made some eggs! They look delicious!"

Twilight eyed Lothlorium suspiciously. He smiled and awkwardly rubbed a forehoof against the back of his neck in response. Surely this wasn't the same sullen, silent pony from the night before? How could it be?

A rumbling from the pit of her stomach forced Twilight to shelve her thoughts for the moment and head down to get some of Spike's breakfast. Lothlorium ambled along after her, casually mentioning that Spike had invited him to eat with them.

Maybe I misjudged him, thought Twilight. Like with Zecora. Maybe I can learn something from this...


"...And so the donkey says to the mule, 'No, that's my wife!'" Lothlorium finished proudly, beaming at his two new friends from across the table before digging into his helping of oats.

"Hahahaha! Good one, Loth!" laughed Spike.

"Hehe, yeah," Twilight added nervously, floating a bit of egg. She didn't get it.

"That one's always a winner!" said Loth.

"It reminds me of some of Pinkie's jokes..." Spike began. "You have met Pinkie, right?"

A big grin jumped onto Loth's face, stretching it in a way that eerily reminded Twilight of Pinkie's smile. "Oh yes! She and Twilight were kind enough to meet me at the station when I came in! You guys are so friendly! And so humble, too!"

"Humble?" enquired Twilight.

"Don't you know how famous you guys are?!" shouted Loth, his eyes widening in glee. "I mean, you single-six-hoofedly saved the world from Discord! You're like- like celebrities!"

"Oh, that was nothing, really..." Twilight said, futilely attempting to douse the flames of fanboyism.

The stars in Lothlorium's eyes said otherwise. He quickly produced an open notebook and pen, seemingly out of nowhere, and hoofed them across the table to where Twilight was sitting.

"This is my autograph book! Can I get your autograph?" he asked. "Can I? Huh? Please!"

Twilight was a little put out by the idea of somepony wanting her autograph, but smiled sweetly at Loth, not wanting to cause a problem. He was being nice now, but Twilight knew from experience that this guy was unpredictable. Or maybe he was just tired from the long trip yesterday, said a little voice at the back of her head. Maybe you're being too quick to judge.

Lighting up her horn, Twilight scribbled down a signature on the notebook, just underneath what looked like a series of ponyglyphics. Loth was delighted, and gleefully snatched the autograph book back when she was done, drinking in her signature with his eyes and burying her under a barrage of thank-yous.

"...Oh, and thank you for the great breakfast, Spike!" he concluded, suddenly getting up from the table. "It's been a pleasure, you guys--it really has! Sadly, I've gotta go now! Places to do, stuff to see, people to be!"

Twilight managed to spit out a hasty goodbye before Loth disappeared out of the front door in an energetic blur of red and blue. She rubbed her head with a hoof. Hanging out with this guy reminded her a little too much of hanging out a similarly-exhausting friend.


Rarity was hanging some wet clothing on the washing line when she heard the tell-tale ring of her customer-bell. Her boutique was technically open at this time of the morning, but she hadn't expected any customers until much later, as it was a Saturday.

"Coooooming!" she sang, hastily pegging the last of her dresses to the line.

Catching a quick glimpse of herself in a mirror and gushying up her hair with a forehoof, Rarity trotted to the front of her shop, and politely caught herself before screaming at the unco-ordinated stain of red and blue colour that had then just decided to blemish her beautiful boutique.

Now, now, Rarity. That's no way to think about a customer, she mentally chided herself. He could be one of those eccentric rich types. Or one of those colour-blind rich types.

"Good morning, sir!" she greeted cheerily, composing herself in an instant. "What brings you to my humble establishment at this early hour? Are you perhaps looking for a dye job? To... bring out those lovely eyes?"

"No, ma'am," replied the stranger, "but perhaps I should consider taking you up on that offer, in addition to my primary purpose for being here."

The two stood in silence for a few seconds.

"Which is?" Rarity nudged.

"Right, yes," said the stallion matter-of-factly. "My name is Lothlorium. I am a scholar from the faraway and often-overlooked land of"--Rarity held in her giggles as Loth's face spasmed--"and I simply could not come to Ponyville without making a point of visiting the famous Carousel Boutique, and meeting Rarity the unicorn."

"Such a charmer!" Rarity replied, lifting a forehoof to her chest.

Loth shrugged and nodded. "Now, what exquisite designs do you have in the way of stallionswear? I have an important dinner tonight, and it is imperative that I look my best."

Stallionswear! Rarity hadn't sold any of her stallionswear in ages! It would be so nice to actually get somepony to look at her few designs for males.

"Follow me, dear," she said. "I believe I have just the thing!"


An hour later, a dapper earthpony gentlecolt standing in front of the mirror gazed in awe at his coiffed light-grey mane and expertly-tailored black suit. Rarity stood a few steps behind him, feeling pleased with her work.

"You'll certainly be fit to attend that dinner tonight now, sir!" she told him as he paid her at the counter.

A sly smile crossed Loth's face. "Well... there is one other thing you could do to help me out at Le Petite Fancy tonight."

"And that would be?" asked Rarity, confident that she already knew the answer.

"Lady Rarity," asked Loth, clearing his throat and doing his best to sound charming. "Would you accompany me tonight? Your presence is worth yet more than the miracles you have worked on my appearance."

"Hmmm..." Rarity pondered aloud, giving Loth a once-over with her eyes. Now that she'd fixed him up a bit, he looked quite dashing--a perfectly suitable pony for one to be seen with at Le Petite Fancy (which she'd been meaning to eat at sooner or later anyway).

"Yes, alright," she replied at last, gazing at her hoof and sounding nonchalant. "When will you pick me up?"

"Around eight, if that would suit you, madam."

"Yes, that would be... perfect."

Loth smiled at her, and she smiled back. He really is quite an agreeable sort, she thought.


"You had WHAT with Lothlorium?!"

Twilight and Rarity were sitting on a checkered blanket the park, waiting for their friends to show up to that day's picnic. The former was deeply regretting starting their conversation with "What did you do yesterday, Rarity?"

Rarity was quite taken aback at her friend's outburst. "Just dinner, darling. He was the perfect gentlecolt, and quite intelligent and witty besides. I wouldn't be entirely opposed to the idea of a second date. Although it was odd that the business associate he was supposed to be meeting never showed up..."

Burying her face in her hooves, Twilight sighed heavily. "Lothlorium isn't the kind of stallion you should be going on dates with, Rarity! He's unpredictable! And dangerous!"

"How do you know that?" asked Rarity, staring Twilight down.

"I met him when he came in on the train and then again yesterday morning! Rarity, it was like talking to two different ponies. That pony is crazy!"

Rarity hrumphed, raising a sceptical eyebrow. "Really Twilight, judging ponies you hardly know. Surely a friendship scholar should know better than to do things like that! Why, speaking of scholars, Loth is one too! I'm sure you two would get along quite well if you just took the time to get to know the poor boy."

"Him. A scholar. Right."

"O'course Ah'm a scholar!" A loud, accented voice interrupted Twilight and Rarity's conversation as the pony in question trotted onto the scene. His mane was still the same, sensible colour Rarity had died it, but had a closer resemblance to a bird's nest than the style she had painstakingly copied from a magazine.

"Strange... I don't remember him having quite such an... accent," said Rarity, scratching her head with a forehoof.

"Oh, I'm quite certain he didn't have one until very recently." Twilight got up from her seat on the blanket and marched over to Lothlorium, looking him straight in the eye the entire time. "Care to explain?"

"Ah've jus' bin doin' some applebuckin' wid yer old friend 'n mah new one: Applejack!" Loth exclaimed, backing his statement up by kicking the air with one of his hindlegs. "Nothin' qui' loike it!"

"'Loike'? Now you're just overdoing it."

Just then, Applejack cantered into view, stopping to wave at her friends and Lothlorium. "Hey girls! I met ya new friend! He's quite the applebucker: saved me 'n Mac a whole lotta effort this Applebuck Season. I'm plum grateful, by the way, Lothy."

"Yew sayed as moich."

Twilight groaned heavily, and Rarity collapsed onto the blanket in a melodramatic faint.

Before Loth could descend further into incomprehensibility, a rainbow streak flashed across the sky, whipping the leaves of the park's trees up in its wake. The streak tightened itself into a series of loops in the air before plummeting down to earth. Rainbow Dash came to a hovering stop just half-an-inch above the checkered blanket, flashing a winning smile.

"Hi girls," she greeted, looking around. "What's"--she suddenly noticed Loth--"hey! You're that guy! That guy Pinkie told me about! But you have different hair."

Recovering from her faint, Rarity leaned over to Rainbow. "Yes, well, I took care of that. Trust me, it's an improvement."

"Well whatever, I guess," continued Rainbow, extending a hoof. "I'm Rainbow Dash."

"Winner of the Best Young Fliers Competition!" Loth exclaimed, losing his accent as suddenly as it had appeared. "I'm a huge fan!"

Rainbow's face brightened up, and she cast smug glances at her friends--one for each of them. "I like this guy."

"I was the winner of the Iron Pony contest in Appleloosa, you know," said Loth to Rainbow Dash, meeting her extended hoof. "I know a thing or two about being awesome, as I'm sure you do."

"That so..."

Rainbow's eyes narrowed. Loth's eyes narrowed. With one mind, their hooves slid into hoofwrestling position. Pinkie, who had just bounced onto the scene, was quick to shove her picnic basket between the two.

"Go Dashie!" she shouted. "Go Not-Spotty Lotty! Go Dashie! Go Lotty-Dotty! Yeah! Beat him! Beat her!"

Rarity, Applejack and Twilight each took a step back as Pinkie hopped between Dash and Loth, cheering for both of them.

"Hello everypony," came a soft, sweet voice from behind Applejack. "Who's that stallion wrestling with Rainbow Dash?"

Fluttershy had announced her arrival in a tone of voice just above a whisper, but Lothlorium noticed her presence immediately, snapping his head towards where she was hiding behind her friends.

Loth's momentary lapse in concentration was just what Dash needed to get the upper hoof. Almost ashamed about cheating, she gritted her teeth into a determined grin and slammed Loth's hoof down on the wicker basket, almost bursting it open.

"Ha! I win!" she exclaimed, releasing Loth's hoof and hovering up into the air to do an impromptu victory dance. "And since you're Appleloosa's Iron Pony, and I beat you... that makes me the new Appleloosan Iron Pony, in addition to being Ponyville's one! Maybe I should... guys?"

Having completely lost interest in Dash, Lothlorium slowly ambled towards Fluttershy, stopping a respectful distance away from her. Fluttershy didn't turn tail and run away, so he assumed she appreciated this.

"Hello Miss Fluttershy," he whispered, his voice coming out only slightly louder than her own had. "I admire the work you do with animals. In my country, you are well-known, and well-respected"--Fluttershy paled at this--"but not excessively! Uh, for example, we don't like your work in the fashion industry, because you looked so sad and scared in all of those photos!"

Fluttershy nodded slightly, saying nothing. Lothlorium's adoring stare intensified. Fluttershy shrank back a bit.

"Well I never!" exclaimed Rarity, breaking up the tension in the air. "Although it is very true that Fluttershy did not enjoy her brief fashion career, I still believe that there is some artistic merit to Photo Finish's Demure: The Fluttershy Collection. I would expect a scholar like yourself to recognise that, Loth."

Dash elbowed Twilight. "I think there's some artistic merit to Rarity being jealous!"

Twilight smiled. Rarity frowned. Twilight's grin faded.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy shrank even further back as Loth continued to stare at her, opening and closing his mouth as if he kept coming up with something to say to her and then deciding against it.

"Well it's mighty fine that y'all are a fan of us, Mister Loth, but I think you're scaring Fluttershy," Applejack said diplomatically, stepping between the two ponies. "Don't take it personal: she's always like this 'round folk she doesn't know."

"I know!" Loth replied, his words coming out louder than intended. "It's part of what makes her so adorable!"

Fluttershy blushed. Rarity hrumphed. Rainbow giggled.

"Just like you and your honesty and steadfastness, Applejack. And your enthusiasm and cheerfulness, Pinkie Pie. And Twilight's well-intentioned social awkwardness, and Rarity's dedication to her art, and Rainbow's inner vulnerability, covered by a thin layer of boastfulness. You're all so amazing! I love you guys!"

Everypony (except Loth) took a step back. Loth closed his eyes and outstretched his forelegs, offering a group hug. Everypony else took another step back.

A minute passed.

Loth opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by a very wide circle of his six pony idols, all of whom were giving him very concerned looks, in between shooting each other worried glances. Their silence was unbearable.

"What is wrong with you?!" blurted Rainbow, immediately making Loth wish for the unbearable silence's swift return. "Being a fan or an admirer is one thing, but this is just creepy!"

Mimicing Fluttershy's behaviour a few minutes before, Loth shrank back and averted his eyes from Dash's hard glare.

Applejack sighed and gave Rainbow a deadpan stare."Simmer down, sally. Now, I agree with you that this is a mite unsettlin', but Loth here obviously has good intentions. He just needs to learn to control his enthusiasm, is all."

The other ponies nodded at Applejack's reasonable-sounding suggestion, until Twilight suddenly froze in mid-nod. "Wait... something still doesn't fit. Remember that day at the train station, when Pinkie and I met you?"

Loth nodded.

"Howcome you were all cool and aloof then?" Twilight asked. "Why weren't you gushing about your admiration of me or Pinkie?"

Lothlorium sighed, raising his head to look Twilight in the eye. She could see a great sadness in his eyes: a feature that she had not noticed before.

"I guess it's time I just told you ponies the truth," he said. "It would've come out sooner or later."

"The... truth?" asked Rarity, raising a perplexed eyebrow. "The truth about what?"

"About me."

Lothlorium took a couple of deep breaths before beginning. "You may want to sit down. This could come as quite a shock."

The six promptly lowered themselves to the ground, some of them sitting on the grass, and others resting on the checkered blanket. When they were all seated, Lothlorium began his story.

"I was telling the truth when I said I came from Yggsuyobghajkwlr, and my claim that even Twilight would not have heard of it was well-founded. However, I was not overly specific about the relationship of Yggsuyobghajkwlr to Ponyville, or to Equestria, for that matter.

"To make a long story short, I'm not from your universe."

"What in the hay is that supposed to mean?" asked Applejack.

"...I don't think I quite understand either, Lothlorium," seconded Twilight. "I do know a thing or two about multiverse theory and causality, but I didn't know it was possible for anything to travel between universes."

"Well it wasn't easy!" Loth said. "It wasn't easy, and Ah c'n only do it once! The guy who helped me called it a 'one-way ticket' kinda deal."

"So you can't ever ever ever ever never go back to your home?!" screeched Pinkie. "That's so sad! I'm sooooo sorrry, Lotty!"

"Oh, Pinkie, don't worry about it! I love it here! I've just remembered! This place is, like, a SQUINTILLION times nicer than where I come from! And there's you guys! I love you guys! You know I wasn't lying when I said you guys are kind of celebrities where I come from?! They make these little figurines of you--they're great!"

"Okay..." Rainbow Dash held her forehoof up to the side of her head and made circular motions. "That's... real nice, dude."

Loth's eyes narrowed as his gaze turned to Rainbow. He pawed at the ground aggressively. "What's more, I was telling the truth about being the Appleloosan Iron Pony. I've been in Equestria awhile, and have had some time to be awesome. Heck, if I hadn't been distracted and you had been a better sport, I woulda beaten you in hoofwrestling!"

"Oh yeah?!"

"Yeah!"

Rainbow and Loth glared at each other.

Fluttershy hummed a few bars of a song.

"Umm, if you wouldn't mind being beaten, that is," Loth continued, speaking barely above a whisper.

An idea flashed in Twilight's eyes and she leaned over to Rarity. "Say something. Anything. I want to test a theory."

Rarity shrugged. "Well, Loth, that's a very strange story, and I still don't entirely understand it. How could we be famous in, um, 'another universe' if Twilight says there's not supposed to be a way of transporting things between such places."

"Very astute, Rarity," Twilight said quickly.

Meanwhile, Loth had spun around to face Rarity, and was beginning to hyperventilate.

"Oh no no no no no no no! I simply cannot tell you that. For you all to know would be THE. Worst. Possible. Thing!"

Twilight nudged Applejack. "I'm shore it's not so bad, sugarcube."

Loth's right eye twitched. "Y'all are fictional! Fictional characters in a tellyvision series in mah reality! Ah'm not even really a pony!"

Everypony stopped talking. Silence washed over the group, broken only by the occasional gust of wind and chirping of birds.

It was Twilight who spoke first, horn glowing. "Mister Lothlorium--"

"Lothlorium ain't even mah real name! Ah jus' thought it sounded cool!"

"It doesn't," Rainbow snarked.

"Ahem!" Twilight's horn brightened for an instant, signalling that it was time for everypony but her to shut it. "It looks like you've got a whole host of psychological problems, uh, sir. Please, take this card for Ponyville's most accomplished psychiatrist and go see her as soon as possible."

Loth glanced down at the card as it floated between his forehooves.

"No!" he protested. "I'm completely sane! This world is made-up, and I can prove it! Somehow! I'll-- hey!"

Seeing no further reason to hang around their mentally-unstable obsessed fan, the six ponies had swept up their picnic preparations and trotted off, sending out a chorus of good-byes that Loth had been too busy ranting to hear.

"Bye-bye!" came the last farewell, a shrill cry from Pinkie Pie.

"Bye... bye..." Loth whispered.

The sounds of hooves and voices slowly disappeared, and eventually Loth grabbed the pyschiatrists's card and forlornly bounced away, head hanging low.


Thousands upon thousands of stacked crates of various sizes rose up to the ceiling of the cold, dark warehouse like trees in a great wooden forest. Wood scrapped wood as a new crate was added to the collection.

"That the last one?" asked one of the workers.

"Yeah, I think so," replied his colleague. "Last one we found, at any rate."

The two looked up at the pile of crates they had just finished stacking.

"Crazy how much of an effect this 'human entertainment material' can have on those dumb enough to watch it."

"Yeah, Uhsdfgfjsa, it's unbelievable how dangerous a bunch of shiny discs can be. I've never heard of anything that could make a fellow jogolfen like that!"

"Crazy humans. At least they won't be hurting anyone else from in here."

"Shogflooben to that!"

The two workers clapped each other on the back with their middle tentacles and slimed away from the crates and out of the warehouse, into the green daylight beyond.


WARNING: Jogolfenetic material within. Extended interaction with the media materials with this box could cause obsession and compulsive imitation of the characters depicted. Do not watch.

Dash's Date with Destiny

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Rainbow Dash’s eyelids slowly peeled open. “Ugh, my head...”

“Oh! You’re awake,” said the voice coming from the blurry shape hovering over her.

She blinked several times until her vision cleared. The voice had come from a nondescript cloaked shape, no longer blurry but no more identifiable than before. It appeared to have four legs and a head, but the basic form of it was the only discernible feature. The dense forest environment was a bit more distinct, but not at all familiar.

“Who’re you?” Dash asked.

“Oh, that’s not important. You have a train to catch.”

“I do?”

“Yeah. You need help getting up?”

“I don’t think so,” she said, straining just a little to stand. Everything seemed to be in order. No strange pains and no trouble moving... she flapped her wings once. No problems at all, other than the complete lack of memory as to how she got here or what she had been doing. Or whatever train business needed to be taken care of.

“C’mon, it’s not far. Train leaves in twenty minutes, but it’s only a ten minute walk.”

With no idea where she was or what was going on, Dash couldn’t think of anything better to do than follow the cloaked figure.

“Remind me, where am I going?” She cast her eyes around the area. “And where am I now?”

“It’s a little hard to explain either of those. Come on though, we should get moving. While we walk, how about you tell me the last place you remember being?”

Dash frowned, shrugged, and then set off following her curious companion - already leaving without looking back. “Uh... I dunno. Okay, um, I was at Twilight’s and she was yakking about something from some book. Mythologola or whatever. Old stories. I wasn’t really paying attention because I was excited about... I can’t remember what. Even if I wasn’t, though, come on, that crud is way boring.”

“That’s quite interesting. It actually might explain why you’re conscious. Normally you’d be asleep and I would just carry you to the train.”

She stopped. “Say what? You stuff knocked out ponies onto a train in the middle of some creepy woods?” Her wings spread and she was ready to take off at any moment. “I don’t think I want to get on.”

The cloaked figure turned around and sighed, pulling his hood down to reveal the face of a handsome grey stallion with a snow white mane. His eyes were a deep and pure aqua, but lacked the sparkle present in the eyes of most ponies. “You don’t. Nopony ever does. But you don’t actually have a choice. Think, what were you excited for? Where did you go after you left your friend?”

The muscles in Dash’s legs and wings tensed. “Give me one good reason I should fly outta here right now.”

“You can’t.”

“Oh yeah? I’ll take that challenge,” she said as she rocketed up and rebounded right back down. Something was in the way. Something she couldn’t see.

“I told you you can’t. Listen, you need to think very hard about the last day or so. Any time I try to tell a pony what’s going on, they get hostile and start denying everything. This will work much better if you can put the pieces together yourself.”

“What the hay did I crash into?”

“I can tell this is going to be fun. Look, we don’t have all day. The train does leave pretty soon. Let’s just keep walking while you replay the events for me. It’ll come back to you.” The stallion turned back around and set off again.

Dash sighed and followed. She couldn’t fly away, and there weren’t any other ponies to get answers out of. And the one pony around was talking like he was trying to help. “I was gonna go do something. Something really awesome. I’m not sure why I was at Twilight’s. Maybe just passing the time?”

“Maybe. Why you were there isn’t too important. What really awesome thing were you going to go do, and what happened when you got there to do it?”

“Well obviously something went wrong. I can’t remember anything, so I guess I hit my head. Maybe I crashed?”

“Good. What sort of thing would you have been doing where you could’ve crashed?”

“Flying. Duh,” she said, fluttering her wings.

“But for what? What sort of flights end in crashes?”

“Oh, I get it. Umm... stunts and stuff. Like what the Wonderbolts...” she trailed off and got a vacant look in her eyes. She gasped.

“Ah, so you remember something.”

“Ohmygosh... I had a date with a Wonderbolt! I won one of those contests where you buy junk and get pieces that say you lose and to please buy more stuff so you can try again! I was excited to go out, and I didn’t let Rarity dress me up or do my hair or anything because I figured at some point we’d do some radical flight and frilly crud would just get in the way.”

“Alright. So you were flying dangerously, trying to impress your date, and you crashed. Now let’s hop up on this train,” he said, gesturing with a hoof.

The thing was gigantic. An enormous mountain of metal, strikingly out of place amongst the trees. The two ponies boarded the beast and the door hissed shut.

Dash looked nervously at the door. “So, I’m not sure I get what you were saying earlier.”

“You’re dead. You-”

“WHOA. Hang on a sec, I’m... dead?”

“Yeah. Ponies usually deny it like crazy if I just tell them, but since you already got to the part where you crashed - spectacularly, I might add - it shouldn’t be too much of a leap.”

“I can’t be dead! I was out on a date! With a Wonderbolt! Where are we? How do I get back?!”

“There’s no turning back. When you hit the ground at twice the speed of sound, you bought yourself a one way ticket to the afterlife.”

“Nonononononononono, this isn’t... this can’t... I’m not dead!”

The stallion slumped down and sighed deeply. “Why does this always happen? Why can’t they all just be passed out?”

“Hey yeah! You said something about that. Like, Twilight’s dumb books had something to do with it.”

“Less the books, more your subconscious. My guess is somewhere in the myths your friend was reading about, there was a mention of challenging Death. You didn’t pay attention, but you did hear it.”

“Challenging Death?”

“It is within your right to know, I guess. Any pony who upon death feels that they deserve more life can challenge me to a contest of their choosing. Should they win, I have to send them back.”

You’re Death?”

“In the flesh. You should know, though, beating me is practically impossible.”

“Whatever, don’t care. I’ve got a date with to get back to, and you’ve gotta give me a shot, right? A race then.”

“You want to race Death? You want a literal race with Death?”

“Is that a problem?”

“No, it’s just pretty darn unusual. All mortals are in a metaphorical race against me. You’re just the first one to make it physical.”

“Then let’s go.”

“You weren’t in such a hurry a few minutes ago.”

“Shut up, don’t care.”

“Very well then. Rainbow Dash, there is a mountain range quite some distance away from here. It’s in the same direction the train tracks go. Follow the tracks, and you’ll find the mountains. If you reach them before I do, you may go return to your life.”

“Awesome,” she said as she kicked the door off. “See ya next time I die.” With that, she was gone.

Death smiled and galloped toward the front of the train.


It was impossible. Death was a cheater, and there was no way to win. Rather than getting out and actually racing Dash, he just took the train. At maximum speed. With all the cars detached.

The enormous engine had more than enough power to send the single segment remaining screaming down the track at a zillion times the fastest speed Dash had ever reached. How or why there were no sonic booms, rain or otherwise, she didn’t know. The titanic train had her completely outclassed. A quick eyeballing of the scene told her that Death would be at the finish line in less than an hour. She was doomed. Worse, she was going to lose.

Death understood boredom all too well. Living (or the equivalent term for the ponification of the opposite of life) as long as he had dulled things. He knew he would win. He had always known. There was no fun in it. He slowed the train down.

Dash took immediate notice of the drastic reduction in speed. Redoubling her efforts, she sailed through the sky toward the mountain range with all her might. Her wings ached. Her lungs burned. She didn’t care. Death had slowed and the reason why didn’t matter. This was a chance to catch up that she couldn’t afford to waste. Within minutes, she caught up and he didn’t regain any momentum. She surged ahead, now able but unwilling to contemplate more than the need to go faster.

The train slowed further, eventually grinding to a complete halt while Dash looked back in confusion. It slowly receded from view, eventually winking out of existence at the edge of the horizon. She continued her mad dash for the mountains, desperate beyond measure to win this most important of contests.

A blur at the edge of her vision spoke. “You’re pretty fast.”

She turned her head to see Death flying alongside her, a proud pair of wings visible now that the cloak was removed. She turned away and ignored him, only acknowledging him by flapping her wings even harder.

“You aren’t going to win, you know. You’re just a pony and I’m an eternal and immutable natural force. At any time, I can shoot off and to the finish and leave you in the dust. I could’ve stayed on the train and not even broken a sweat.”

“Don’t care.”

“Do you really think you’re the first pony to try with everything they had to earn a second chance?”

“Don’t know, don’t care.”

“There have been countless others, many with better reasons to live than you.”

“Still don’t care.”

“You’re not capable of going faster than me. The only way you’d win is if I stopped.”

“And your point is? It doesn’t matter. The finish is that way. I’m going that way.”

“You need a different tactic! Your top speed is lower than my top speed. It does not matter how hard you try.”

“I don’t care how many other ponies didn’t want to leave their friends. I don’t want to leave my friends! I’ve still got a lot of tricks to pull off, and I need to get into the Wonderbolts. I need to beat Applejack fair and square at a hoof race. I need to pull more pranks with Pinkie. Everything else aside, all my friends and my goals, I still can’t stop now. You never leave your date hanging. Besides, why do you even care? Aren’t you supposed to go win so you can take my soul or whatever?”

“Pardon me if reaping souls gets a little boring after the first few thousand years.”

“You know what might be fun? Letting a pony go once in a while, just to see what happens.”

“Nice try, but no. I told you, the only way you live is if you win and the only way you win is if I slow down.”

Though she continued hurtling forward at insane speed, Dash’s mind momentarily stopped before the stupidest and craziest idea she’d ever had struck her. “You know what might be fun and might get you to slow down?”

“What?”

“This,” she said as she dove to her side and grabbed Death.

“What are you-”

She kissed him.

He stopped.

She kept going.


Rainbow Dash lay stretched out on the grass. Her friends had all come out for the picnic they’d been planning, but the topic of conversation had remained fixated on her recent dating adventure. She hadn’t mentioned her brush with Death. “Yeah, I’m alright. He wasn’t a jerk about it or anything, he just told me he wasn’t actually interested. He was only even out with me because he had to be.”

“Darling I did try to warn you. You simply wouldn’t listen, assuming any piece of advice I offered would be about your looks,” Rarity offered.

“Eh, really it’s fine. There’re no hard feelings or anything, and when I audition for the Wonderbolts this won’t even get brought up. I’m just a little embarrassed I crashed in front of him, but he didn’t actually see it and he’s gonna pretend it never happened.”

“Y’all crashed and burned in front of yer idols?” Applejack asked.

“Well, yeah, but it wasn’t a big deal or anything. I had a little adventure besides the date that day, and I even lost a race, but I can’t actually tell you guys about it yet.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Well now I’m curious. I’d love to hear about it, as soon as you can tell us.”

“Yeah, I will eventually. Don’t worry about it.”

“Still, dear, even if it doesn’t affect your career aspirations, certainly a date going poorly doesn’t do any good for your love life,” Rarity said.

“You’d be surprised what kinda deals you can make. I actually have a date next weekend.”

This time it was Rarity’s turn to be inquisitive. “Oh really now?”

“Yeah. Pretty cute grey pegasus. White mane. You’ve probably never met him.”

P0n3

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A white unicorn foal sat, ears pressed hard to the side of a brick building. The alleyway next to Seaddle’s number one club was surprisingly clean. There was a single dumpster that Vinyl Scratch was using to shield herself from the ever-present rain that fell on the coastal city. Within the club was Vinyl’s idol: DJ Guetta. Despite having saved her meager allowance in the hopes of purchasing a ticket, by the time she had accrued the necessary funds the show had been sold out. Still, Vinyl came to the building, in the hops that she could catch even a glimpse of the famed unicorn, or hear even one note of the music.

Vinyl’s ears pricked as they detected a growing noise coming through the wall. “DJ! DJ! DJ!” She closed her eyes, imaging that she was inside, surrounded by the massive crowd, everypony stomping their hooves in anticipation for the show’s beginning. Then, blasting above the bass track the crowd had unwittingly created, the music started. Treble tones twisted smoothly through the noise, and somehow mixed naturally with the cheers of the gathered ponies. The beat started a perfect counterpoint to the higher electronic tones; the show had begun. Vinyl was blown entirely away by the seamless cuts of songs she hadn’t even known could be mixed. She detected hints of rock ballads, symphonies, even snatches of blues. All of it blended into the most incredible set the tiny filly had ever heard. Vinyl Scratch knew from that point on what she was going to do with her life. Despite the growing chill of the evening, Vinyl listened through the wall for the entire show.

Early the next morning, Vinyl waited outside a small second-hoof music store, a cart in tow. In her saddlebags she held every bit she had. As she caught sight of the owner approaching the entrance, she asked, “Do you have any turntables?”

The tan earth pony smiled down at her. “I think we’ve got one or two, but I’m not sure what condition they’re in. Are you sure I couldn’t interest you in a traditional instrument?”

Vinyl hardened her gaze into a formidable pout. “No, I need a turntable. Can I see them?”

The store owner shrugged and unlocked the door. Turning his head back towards the waiting unicorn, he said, “You can leave the wagon out here.”

Stepping free of the light harness, Vinyl followed the stallion into a maze of instruments. Near the back of the store Vinyl’s guide stopped. “Here they are, turntables.” He gestured at a pair of them: one covered in dust, the other looking brand new. Vinyl approached the nicer table and examined the price tag; she choked on her surprise: 1500 bits. In mounting despair, she turned to the beat up set of mixing equipment. With relief, she noted the price on this one to be far lower: just 575 bits; though she still didn’t have enough to buy it. Vinyl turned back to the storeowner with tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes.

“I’m sorry to have wasted your time, I only have 318 bits.” Without waiting for any kind of reply, Vinyl started for the storefront, her dreams would have to wait.

“Well then you’re in luck! I was just about to put this one on sale for 300.” He smiled broadly down at Vinyl Scratch. “Do we have a deal?”

In sudden exuberant joy, Vinyl turned back to the stallion she didn’t even know and leapt to hug him. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” In a surge of her unmastered magic, she lifted the apparatus high into the air and out the door into her little cart. Reaching into her saddlebag, she withdrew 18 bits and passed the bag to the storeowner.

“I’m sure it’s all here, go ahead little filly. Have fun with it.”

Vinyl Scratch took the equipment home and immediately set about to cleaning it. Carefully, she wiped down the record surfaces, and anywhere else that caught her eyes as in need of it. The dust met a swift end as she meticulously dug into every crevice, and joint with help from her magic. Finished with the labor of cleaning her turntable, she sat behind it ready to begin. It was at this point, that Vinyl realized she knew absolutely nothing about mixing songs or scratching out her own music. It didn’t matter. She reached a hoof out to one of the records; the table felt good beneath her. She reached a second hoof into position and sat still a moment. Then her mind cleared and her body filled the gap. She started simple, letting a rhythm form itself around her. She spent several hours that first day behind the table, and only stopped when her parents forced her to eat dinner and to sleep. Vinyl’s plan was simple, work constantly at mastering every facet of being a DJ and become the greatest one in the world. Her focus was such that she didn’t even notice a flash of light emanating from her flank revealed her cutie mark: a pair of beamed eight notes.

The next day Vinyl Scratch returned to school. Upon entering the classroom, she was swarmed by her peers. They all stared intently at Vinyl’s newly acquired cutie mark congratulating her, and asking for the story; only one other member of their class had her cutie mark. That other filly was Octavia. She watched the crowd around Vinyl Scratch with a sense of aloofness. She walked closer to discover what cutie mark her classmate had earned only to halt in surprise. How come somepony else has a cutie mark for music? She turned back to her own desk and sat down, class would be starting soon. Their teacher, a crimson-coated unicorn, walked into the room.

“Alright class, settle down. Settle down.” He peered knowingly at the crowded fillies and colts. “Cutie marks can be exciting business, but this is time for learning; you can wait until recess.” The rest of the day proceeded just like any other school day, with the exception that Vinyl Scratch was now considered much cooler than everypony else. As everyone was returning to their homes after the school day, Octavia cornered Vinyl Scratch.

“Don’t you even think of trying to outdo me Vinyl Scratch! I am going to be the best musician in all of Equestria, so you may as well just give up now.”

“What?” Vinyl Scratch was utterly confused, she hardly even knew Octavia, and she was just another classmate.

“I’m going to perform at concert halls everywhere, and maybe even the Grand Galloping Gala!” Octavia was breathing hard, her composure slipping. “Me! Not another unicorn! There are so few earth ponies in music; I won’t let you push me out.” Tears started to leak from her eyes. This wasn’t going at all like she had imagined it, Vinyl was the one who was supposed to start crying and get some different cutie mark, but she just looked confused. “I-I…”

“Your name’s Octavia right?” At a nod, Vinyl continued, “I’m not going to do anything like that, I mean, I hardly even know you, why would I want to hurt you?” She paused and let the other filly regain a bit of her composure. “What kind of music do you like anyways?”

Octavia wiped the rest of her tears out of her eyes. “Classical music of course, rolling symphonies, sweeping concertos. It’s the only real kind of music that lasts the test of time.”

Vinyl grinned. “Well, I’m going to have to disagree with you about that. Electronic music is here to stay, not that I can’t appreciate the old stuff, but a lot of it is just plain boring.”

“Boring? that just goes to show that you lack imagination.” They both laughed at that.

“What do you play?” asked Vinyl.

“The cello and piano, though I’m much more partial to the cello. You?”

“Turntable. You want to be the best musician, well I want to be the best DJ.”

“Well then, I don’t suppose we’re in direct competition then are we?” Vinyl Scratch nodded and extended her hoof.

“Friends?”

“Friends.”


Ten years later…

Vinyl Scratch stood perfectly still over her turntable. Stars reflected on her sunglasses as the club’s lights spun about. She watched the crowd in front of her for some signal visible only to her. Her horn flashed and the music started. But still the turntable in front of her sat silent and unmoved; it was from the one behind her that the first track played. Then, in her own trademarked style, DJ P0n3 began playing with both her horn and her hooves. The tracks were markedly different but didn’t clash. She paid no attention to the packed floor in front of her. The young mare was completely absorbed in producing the music that was now famous across Equestria.

That first turntable that made her life change had been her ticket into the life she lived now. She still kept that old thing as a reminder of her past. When the show was finished, Vinyl Scratch retired to her trailer; her crew would take down the set and deliver it to the next city on her tour. In the mean time, Vinyl could relax and think.

She remembered how it all began in Seaddle. She’d spent over three years simply practicing on her own until she was satisfied by her own talent. Then she’d convinced the manager for Club Trot that she was worth showcasing for a night. That night had been the first time she’d performed in front of a crowd. She’d even still gone by her birth name back then. The performance had earned her a steady gig at the club and been her first stop on the one-way train to fame.

After Club Trot she decided she needed a stage name, and then was born DJ P0n3. She didn’t spend long at the bottom of the ladder of DJs. Soon all her shows were sold out far in advance of their actual date.

The most recent show had been in Manehatten, the showbiz capital of Equestria. Vinyl sighed contentedly, just about everything was perfect. She absently wondered how her old friend Octavia was doing. Last Vinyl had heard she’d been invited to perform the chamber music for the upcoming Grand Galloping Gala. Vinyl would’ve attended simply to offer support for her friend, but not only did that kind of party hold no interest for the unicorn, she had a show in Trottingham the night before.

Without warning, Vinyl’s trailer started moving. Somepony must be pulling it. Vinyl mused, and then attempted to look out the front window. Surprisingly, the window was blacked out. Intending to ask the driver what the hay they thought they were doing, she went to the door and pushed on it. The door didn’t budge. In mounting confusion and anger, Vinyl focused her magic on the thing: it shook violently, but still failed to open. Desperately, she did one thing she hoped no one would’ve expected: she opened the floor of her trailer. The trapdoor opened smoothly to the ground beneath the vehicle. Donning a dark cape to cover her white coat, she slipped stealthily out through the hole.

She landed gently on the ground, and crouched low to fit beneath her moving home as it slid past her on silent wheels. Once she was clear of the trailer, she raised her head up to examine her home-turned-prison. All the windows were blacked out with what looked like paint, and the door was being guarded by a burly brown unicorn whose eyes were focused on it. From this side Vinyl could see the door shimmering with a dull aura of magic that must’ve been emanating from the stallion. He kept a steady pace with the trailer and never once looked at his surroundings. Even with the cape to hide her in the darkness, he probably would’ve seen her.

A young voice rang out from the shadows behind her, “C’mon Dewdrop! If you don’t hurry you’ll miss your own surprise party!”

A blue pegasus answered back, “Shut up Corn Cobb. I don’t for one second believe you and your friends pulled this off, I mean DJ P0n3? There’s no way you got her to come. Even if you foalnapped her I don’t think she’d actually do some private show for ponies she doesn’t know. Besides, it’s not much of a surprise party when you’ve been talking about it all day.”

Vinyl shuffled to the side of the road and into a side street until the two passed by. Well, at least she wasn’t being foalnapped by rabid fans like that one time in Stalliongrad. That had been a nightmare. She chuckled. At least it had made a very good story the next time she’d sent Octavia a letter. Maybe DJ P0n3 would make an appearance at this mysterious party…


When the trailer stopped, the brown stallion knocked gently on the door. There was no response. “DJ P0n3?” He pulled the door open and found nopony inside. “Horseapples! Spring, we’ve got a problem!”

Coiled Spring, the stallion who had been pulling the trailer, unhitched himself and walked over. “Now, what’s the problem Stone—” He froze upon seeing the empty trailer. “Now wait just a minute, you said she was in here. Where did she go?” Stone’s Throw pointed at the open trapdoor in the floor of the trailer. “Darnit all Stone, everyone was expecting us to get her.” He face-hoofed. “Now what are we going to do?”

A yellow colt and blue filly approached the pair in the midst of a heated conversation. “What do you mean you guys actually foalnapped her! Do you have any idea how stupid—Argh! Worst surprise birthday ever.”

“But-but she’s your favorite DJ, and we wanted to pull out all the stops for you.”

Stone’s Throw turned to the two of them and said, “No point in arguing, she’s gone already.”

Corn Cobb stopped in his tracks. “G-Gone?”

Dewdrop rounded on him. “Of course she’s gone! Probably to get policeponies to arrest us too! You-you blithering idiots! You can’t just go around foalnapping anypony, let alone a celebrity like DJ P0n3.”

“Did someone say my name?” Vinyl Scratch was amused when all four of the gathered ponies jumped nearly out of their skin. She shook off the cape and grinned widely at them. “I heard that someponies needed a DJ for their party, but I have no idea why they didn’t think to ask me.”

Corn Cobb fainted, Coiled Spring had his mouth hanging open, Stone’s Throw looked like he was about to pass out himself, and Dewdrop’s eyes had filled with stars.

She squeaked, “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!”

Vinyl Scratch extended a hoof to her. “I think I caught that you’re a fan. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Numbly, Dewdrop reached her own hoof to meet her idol’s. She was still in shock when DJ P0n3 spoke again. “I assume you colts have a setup for me. Or did you not even plan this whole thing out?”

Stone’s Throw recovered first and said, “Y-Yeah, it’s inside the barn.” He gestured at the structure. “We only had one turntable though, we couldn’t get two like you normally use.” At that his eyes fell to the dirt. “Um… sorry?”

DJ P0n3 smiled slyly at him. “We all do stupid things, but you gotta have fun with your mistakes as well as your triumphs.” Then for a moment her eyes hardened. “But don’t even think of trying something like this again. Got it?”

The two conscious colts nodded then hung their heads in shame. “You’d better wake your friend up or he’ll miss the show.” With that, Vinyl Scratch gave Dewdrop another smile and walked toward the barn.

Finally recovering herself, Dewdrop said, “You guys are the luckiest colts alive. I can’t believe that just happened.” Then realizing what else had happened, “I just shook hooves with DJ P0n3!” She pranced in place for a moment, then grew self conscious and blushed. I’ll see you in the barn when you wake Corn up, no way am I missing anything. Best birthday ever!”

As she took flight towards the barn, Corn Cobb stirred. “Wh-What happened? For a second there I though DJ P0n3 came out of nowhere and started talking to us.”

Stone’s Throw helped his friend up with a slight effort of magic. “Actually, that’s exactly what happened.”

“No way, you mean this whole plan worked?”

Stone grinned. “You know what I guess it did.” The two started walking for the barn door, leaving Coiled Spring behind.

He still stood there, mouth agape. Once he found himself alone, he blinked rapidly and shook his head to clear his mind. Then, turning towards the barn door he whispered, “Sweet Celestia, I think I’m in love.”

Celestia's Favorite Punishment

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Twilight could have simply ignored the letter. After all, the library was in dire need of re-alphabetizing to accommodate the new entries, some of the books weren’t fully upright in their shelves, and the symmetry of the room was off kilter! Twilight hadn’t even finished dusting the dust jackets, and the tasks kept piling up. Amidst this seemingly infinite number of chores, something like a misplaced letter would have been perfectly understandable. Yet, habit and professionalism asserted itself when Spike belched out his signature green flame with a letter bearing Princess Luna’s seal.

“Spike, would you kindly read that for me? I’m a bit busy right now,” Twilight said, carefully eyeing the cover of The Sound and The Filly for any microscopic trace of dust.

“Sure thing,” Spike said. “‘Dear Twilight, I hope this letter finds you well. I have caught wind of a plot by my sister that concerns creating a massive…’ Uh, Twilight? I think you need to see this.”

“Can’t you see I’m busy here? Just read the darn thing.”

Twilight’s inflection immediately changed from mild irritation to love-dovey. “All my little bookie-wookies need to be squeaky clean for Princess Celestia when she comes to visit next week.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Fine, but there are, like, these black lines that take out parts of the letter.”

Twilight allowed herself a small moment to break from her work. “Really? I didn’t know that a Princess’s letter had to adhere to the new censorship laws. I swear, ever since Celestia made Blueblood her top advisor, the government has been going downhill.”

“I guess that’s what you get when you use an automated system. As I was saying, ‘…creating a massive blank, which she will use to blank her fellow ponies. Having been blanked by my sister in the past, I cannot help but sympathize. She had a blank that was much smaller than the new blank, and I can’t imagine that makes it any easier for those involved.

Before, blanking was a thing that was done on special occasions, but I fear that now with this new blank that can blank multiple ponies at once, the blanking will be doubled! Recently, my sister has been blanking ponies left and right. She knows the dangers of blanking so indiscriminately, and I fear that she might have come down with some illness, just like me the first time.

Twilight, you’re the only one who can talk my sister out of this blank madness. Enclosed I have left a single ticket for you to travel to Canterlot by train. Meet me at Canterlot Castle, and don’t ask about blank. Regards, Princess Luna.’”

Spike looked dumbfounded. “What did I just read?”

“I don’t know, but pack your bags, Spike. We’re going to Canterlot.”

“But there’s only one ticket.”

“Pack my bags then!”

Spike sighed. “Fine.”


Canterlot was as Twilight remembered it. Busy unicorns and earth ponies strode hurriedly through the cobblestone streets, checking their watches to make sure they were on time for their appointments, or at least appropriately late. Twilight had been one of those ponies up until she met her friends, and thank Celestia for that. Twilight couldn’t help but cringe at the thought of being one of those ponies, forever enslaved to the dreaded deadline. Indeed, things were much better in Ponyville.

In spite of herself, she felt at home. Ponyville could use some of the dignified flair of Canterlot, or at the very least, paved roads. Maybe she could talk to her parents after this business with Luna was resolved. Shaking the thought aside, Twilight approached Canterlot Castle in awe.

Not once in her life had Twilight failed to be impressed by the stunning image of Canterlot Castle. Beauty incarnate, flawless in design and execution, it was truly the home of royalty. The gold and silver in the towers glimmered against the skyline like gemstones. The gemstones also glimmered like gemstones. The architects were several centuries ahead of their time, studying their construction revealed that…

Twilight’s reverence was rudely cut short by an ornate door smacking her in the face. It was all she could do not to shout out in pain; the Princess might be just beyond the threshold, and if she heard the words Twilight intended to use to describe her current situation, she would probably be spending the night in a cold, dark dungeon, or busted back to magic Kindergarten. In Twilight’s mind, they were one in the same. She shook her head, clearing her mind of the dreaded magic Kindergarten, and opened the door.

As would be expected, the interior matched the exterior to a tee, but something seemed off. There had been new additions since Twilight’s last visit, probably to accommodate for all the new rules set in place. Within the antiquated interior were booths and secretaries milling about, each putting on a chipper smile for any would-be client. Directional arrows hung from the ceiling “Department of Censure Departments,” “Meet your Princess,” and even a “Free hugs.” As tempting as the “Free hugs” sign was, Twilight followed the “Meet your Princess” sign.

The receptionist’s desk for “Meet your Princess” stood at the end of an extremely long hallway, no doubt made to house the hundreds of visitors that came to see Celestia on special occasions. However, the hallway was eerily empty, sans a single unicorn receptionist heading the booth. Twilight could barely make out the figure of Lyra in the distance.

Twilight waved to her. “Hey, is this where we go to meet the Princess?

Lyra cheerily waved back, but said nothing. She put a hoof to her ear, and seemed to mouth the word “what.” Twilight sighed. Nothing ever came easy. Just once, Twilight wished that she get an assignment from the Princess that was a book report, or maybe a case study of unicorn history. But no, it had to be walking down mile-long corridors to a booth just to meet with them about the assignment she’d take.

By the time Twilight finally reached the receptionist’s booth, which stood right before a grand stairwell that lead up to the Princesses’ chambers, exhaustion had hit her full front. She could barely move her legs, and as she made her way to the desk, she collapsed to the floor.

“Ma’am? Are you okay?” Lyra said.

“F-Fine.” Twilight said, using the booth to pull her up. “Is this the booth…?” Twilight found herself completely out of breath. She allowed herself a brief moment to breathe before starting again. “Is this the booth for meeting the Princess?”

“Sure is,” Lyra answered with a smile.

“Great. So what do I do to meet the Princess?”

“Well, first you have to fill out this form containing your entire medical history. Make sure to list all your check-ups alphabetically, not chronologically.” Lyra placed a huge stack of papers on Twilight’s back. “Then you’ll have to complete this form concerning your reasons for visiting, after that you need to score eighty five percent or higher on the ‘Your Princess and You’ exam, before finally signing this waiver that clears the royal government of all fault should you sustain an injury.”

Lyra stacked the final form on Twilight’s back, but Twilight buckled under its weight, sending a mess of papers scattering throughout the room.

“Oh now look what you did, now you’ll have to fill out this misuse of government resources form,” Lyra said, dropping a large, book-sized form right on Twilight’s face.

Twilight restrained herself from screaming out in frustration, choosing instead a more diplomatic route.

“Come on, Lyra, can’t you just let me through?” Twilight pleaded. “We went to magic Kindergarten together, remember?”

“Rules are rules, Twilight.”

“Bu-But, I have this letter, from Princess Luna herself! Saying she wants to meet me, personally, at Canterlot Castle today! By the time I’m finished with all these forms, it’ll be tomorrow at least!”

“I said rules are rules,” Lyra said, this time with a sterner tone.

“You wouldn’t want to disappoint the Princess now, would you?”

“Rules. Are. Rules. And for your information Twilight, if that is your real name, the Princess specifically said that there’d be no visitors allowed admittance today.”

“Did the Princess tell you that herself?”

“I’m not on trial here, Twilight. I just do my job to make some extra cash. But to answer your question, yes. The Princess said she didn’t want to be bothered today, as she had important business to attend to. So there, you can go home now.”

Twilight looked back at the hallway she just traversed. No way was she going back through that thing empty-handed. Just as she was about to give up and turn tail, an idea crept into Twilight’s mind.

“Hey, Lyra!”

“What?”

“I think I hear Bon-Bon calling your name… Look! Over there! There she is!”

“What? I don’t hear any…”

As soon as Lyra’s head turned a fraction of an inch, Twilight was off like a racehorse. Sure, being a librarian didn’t really tone your legs very well, but Twilight managed to avoid tripping for at least the first few seconds, and that was a victory in her book. Scrambling to her hooves, she managed to hear Lyra shout “Security!” before scaling the staircase.

Following the law of “If the worst can happen, it usually will” to the letter, the security barracks were conveniently placed right at the top of the stairwell. Twilight had done little more than step foot on the top of the stairwell, when a swarm of identical, armor-clad guards surrounded her.

“Stop right there criminal scum!” said one.

“You’re under arrest!” exclaimed another.

Twilight’s mind sputtered. How on Equestria could everything go so wrong? “But I’m one of the Princess’ most faithful students? How can you not let me in?”

“I'm glad to hear that the Princess is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail,” a guard who appeared to the leader of the group said, chuckling.

That was the last straw. All the trouble she had went to, abandoning her library and her friends just to seek an audience with Luna was rewarded with jail? Frustration and rage overtook Twilight’s normal subdued demeanor, causing magic to pour out uncontrollably from her body. The heat of her emotion affected the spell, causing sparks to erupt across her body, which culminated in her mane and tail being set ablaze with consecrated fury. The temperature of the room dramatically increased to match the massive magical influx, sucking the cool authority straight from the guards. Many lost their composure and ran in fear, but a few stood their ground.

“You WILL take me to the Princess!” Twilight screamed, all sense politeness and diplomacy lost. She was going to see the Princess, and no half-bit, donut munching, tax-bit wasting guard could stop her.

“Now listen here missy, I—” the lead guard said.

“No! You listen to me!” Twilight interrupted, the flames on her tail and mane burning hotter and brighter than ever. “There will be no questions asked. You will take me to the Princess!”

The lead guard backed up slowly. “That’s quite alright, Ms. uh… Ms. Sparkle, is it? We apologize for the inconvenience and would like to extend a full apolo— NOW!”

Above Twilight, a gray pegasus guard dropped a large bucket of water. No water touched her, but the bucket hit her squarely in the face. Twilight felt the world spin and slowly darken as she lost consciousness.

Just before the world went dark for good she heard the lead guard yell, “Private Derpy, you were supposed to pour the water on her!” He paused for second. “Well, it seems that did the job, good work Private! Keep this up and you’ll be in line for a juicy promotion next month.”


Twilight awoke not knowing where she was, but she knew she was sitting down on something. Two guards stood at her sides, and cuffs were tightly clamped onto her hooves. The room she was in seemed to be part of the castle, but not any part she had ever seen. Benches surrounded a single pedestal, like a makeshift courtroom, but there was no bench for the prosecution or jury. A single unicorn mare stood at the center, illuminated by a single spotlight, the only light in the room.

The booming voice of a mare echoed through the stone chamber. “So I assume you know why you’ve been called here today?”

There was an audible scoff from the unicorn. “No! If you are talking about that Ursa incident in that Podunk dump Ponyville, the Great and Powerful Trixie had nothing to do with it!”

“So you know why you’re here today?”

“No! The Great and Powerful Trixie had nothing to do with anything!”

“Then you know why you’re here today.”

“What? The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn’t understand.”

“Then you understand.”

The guard on Twilight’s right leaned over and whispered to the other guard, “Things don’t look good for this one.”

“Nope,” he whispered back.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie did nothing! The Great and Powerful Trixie demands you release her right this instant!”

“So you’re demanding that we seek the maximum punishment for your most heinous crime? Very well,” the booming voice responded.

“No! Snips and Snails let loose the Ursa! Find and try them, not Trixie!”

“Since my hand has been forced, you will receive the maximum punishment for your crime.”

“What crime?”

“That crime.”

“You mean the Ursa?”

“I mean your crime.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is confused.”

“Good to know you understand why I’m punishing you then.”

“But I don’t!”

“You do.”

Twilight watched all of this with utter disbelief. None of this made sense, and Trixie seemed to be hanging onto innocence by a thread despite never having learned her crime. It was enough to make someone’s head spin.

Trixie lost it. “Listen, you… you neighsayer! The Great and Powerful Trixie is not guilty of anything ever, and this court is a joke. You never even told Trixie what she did wrong!”

The booming voice’s response was as cool as ever. “Did everyone catch that confession?” I think we’re done here.”

The audience in the benches nodded among themselves and stamped their hooves in approval.

Trixie actually sounded relieved. “Finally, you get it. Trixie can’t be guilty of crime she didn’t commit.”

“To the moon with her!” the booming voice announced.

“To the moon?” a guard asked.

“To the moon,” another guard affirmed.

“What?” Trixie said. “Does that mean I get to leave?”

The figure behind the judge’s stand placed an oversized red button in plain view of the audience. An alabaster hoof came down onto the button, and the floor beneath Trixie dropped.

“What are you doing to the Great and Powerful Trixie, neighsayer?!”

A cylinder arose from the center of the room where Trixie fell. If Twilight didn’t know any better, she’d say that it looked like a cannon. Realization hit Twilight like a bucket of water. This was the project Luna was talking about. That would mean that the mare behind the judge’s table was Celestia, and that didn’t make sense at all. Celestia would never send her subjects to the moon, especially not after what happened to her sister. Yet, she recognized the figure behind the voice all too well.

“You just earned yourself a one way ticket straight to the moon!”

As the cylinder began to rise out of the ground, the dome-shaped ceiling opened to allow room for the barrel to fire. The faint glow of the moon brightened the room ever so slightly, and Twilight could see Celestia clearly now. Something was off, just like Luna said. She couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly what it was, but she knew it was there.

“No!” Trixie cried out, but it was barely audible within the cannon. Nobody seemed to notice, and if they did, didn’t seem to care.

The crowd began chanting a countdown.

“10!”

“Trixie didn’t do anything!”

“9!”

“8!”

“7!”

“Please! Have mercy on the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

“6!”

“5!”

“4!”

“3!”

Twilight couldn’t take it anymore. Sure, Trixie had done wrong in the past, but sending someone to the moon via cannon would simply overkill in every sense of the word. The fact that there seemed to be no one objecting to such a cruel and unusual punishment further incensed her, making her blood come to a boil. This wasn’t right, it went against everything she was taught, and she wasn’t going to stand for it, not while Twilight Sparkle was still around.

“2!”

“STOP!” Twilight shouted.

Every face in the crowd turned their gaze to Twilight. She immediately regretted her choice of actions. For a few seconds, the entire crowd was silent. Eventually, the booming voice of Celestia filled the room, and all eyes refocused back on her.

“1!”

Celestia pressed the oversized red button a second time, and a loud boom filled the chamber. Dust and debris from the cannon’s firing area floated through air, coating the audience with a thin veneer of black dust. As the cannon began to recede back into the ground, a single clap from the audience grew into a thunderous applause, and soon whoops and cheers were heard in the crowd. Celestia allowed this applause to go on for a more seconds before holding up a hoof, gesturing the audience to stop. Silence was immediate. Twilight made her way down from the audience bench with no resistance from the guards. The pangs of her hooves as she walked to the center where Trixie had once stood were the only sounds in the entire room.

“So, Twilight, I see you’ve volunteered yourself the next subject of our amusement. Pity, I was hoping that you’d enjoy at least a few more shows before your number came up, but I guess that’s how things happen sometimes, now isn’t it?”

Twilight had deduced the conversation pattern Celestia had been using on Trixie. She answered carefully, “I know what’s going on here, and I think you’re Princess Celestia. What you’re doing makes sense.” It hurt her to hurl such blatant lies at someone who was supposed to be her mentor, but Twilight managed for the sake of getting to the bottom of this madness.

“It’s a shame you don’t understand Twilight, but there are reasons for what goes on here, I assure you. I was a fool to think such an easy pattern like opposite statements would trick you. And as for your second and third accusation, what fun is there in making sense?” Celestia chuckled.

Twilight couldn’t suppress a gasp. “Discord!”

“You’re letting yourself slip, Twilight,” Celestia said chidingly.

Twilight rephrased. “Discord?”

Celestia grinned. “The one and only.”

“How?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“No.”

“You didn’t really think a simple petrifying spell could suppress the powers of a nigh-immortal and omnipotent god, now did you?

“I guess so. Where’s the real Princess?”

“What real Princess? I am the Princess, aren’t I?” Celestia gestured towards the crowd. “Aren’t I?”

The crowd cheered and applauded in response.

“See? They love me.”

“How did you take control of the Princess? And how long have you been the Princess?”

“Tsk, using my own rules against me. Well, if you must know, I am able to seep little inklings of my power out through the statue at regular intervals, just enough to cause general chaos in the area, and one little Princess Celly just happened to be in the area this time. Such a happy coincidence doesn’t happen too often, mind you. So I took that power and built it up in your precious Princess’s heart, and eventually, I had enough power to control small actions. A little chaos here, and little chaos there, but that chaos adds up after a while. The sweet and fair Celly still can resist my control if I try to break some of her precious intrinsic rules, but I still can manipulate her body. I may not have full control yet, but I can extend my influence for several hours, and our little Celly is none the wiser! I can even take over the crowd here. It’s just like what I did to Luna all those years ago, but this time, they’ll be no return for any of you! Do you smell that? It’s the smell of chaos!”

“And my second question?”

“I was hoping that little speech had made you forget all about that unfortunate question,” the discorded Celestia said with a pout. “Fine, I’ve been poking around this body for around a month. You didn’t really think Blue Blood promotion, and all those ridiculous censorship laws were really approved by Celestia?” She giggled lightheartedly, but it sounded unnatural considering who was pulling the strings.

Twilight wasn’t sure how to handle this. Who read her friendship letters for the last month? Who wrote back? Fear overtook her as she realized that Discord could have feasibly known about everything that had gone on in her life for the past month. Friendships could be torn asunder with that information.

Outwardly, Twilight kept her cool. “I think we both don’t know that I won’t be tricked into confessing anything here. So why don’t we have a change of game, something more suited for our talents? I don’t think you like games.”

The pony that was once Celestia clicked her hooves together in delight. “Wonderful! A new game, brilliant idea! Let’s say this Twilight, you know I’m a sucker for entertainment, and you want your Princess back, no? Well, if you can beat me at my own game, you can have your Princess back. Sound fun?”

“No.” Twilight meant what she said it this time.

“Very well then, but we’ll have no more of that silly backwards talk. New game means new rules. Agreed?”

“Yes.”

“It’s up to you to solve the mystery of my game before time runs out.” Celestia produced a pocket watch that was set to go off in an hour. “If time runs out, or you confess to your crimes, you lose and get shot to moon with this wonderful moon cannon I just had installed. If you prove your innocence, or solve the riddle behind my game, not that you will, I will let your Princess free of my control.”

“I understand.”

Though you’d never be able to tell it from her voice, Twilight felt nothing but utter hatred for the entity that had stolen her mentor from her. Resealing the statue would never be enough. That statue had to be locked up with a thousand padlocks, broken and buried underneath the ocean so it’d never hurt anyone ever again.

“We start…now”

Celestia shot her a confident gaze, before saying, “You know you’ll never win Twilight. You can’t beat me at my own game, where I decide the rules!”

“We’ll see about that, Discord.” Twilight retorted, her gaze equally confident.

“Ah, catching on rather quickly I see, Twilight. Or maybe you’re just getting lucky?

Twilight wasn’t sure what Discord meant by that, but assumed the latter. So far, there hadn’t been any pattern as far as she could tell. She even counted out the words as he said them, as to make sure he wasn’t playing an odds-even game, but to no avail. Twilight decided to play it safe and keep quiet, forcing Discord to do all the talking.

“Penalty!” Celestia shouted, much to Twilight’s surprise. “You now have lost your good alibi. Shame on you Twilight, you shouldn’t have lied about not being at the crime scene.”

Baffled, Twilight attempted to figure out what she had done wrong. Realization dawned on her; she hadn’t answered Discord’s question. It was a small sliver of a huge puzzle, but Twilight couldn’t help but grin at her success. Discord wouldn’t last long at this rate.

“I apologize, Discord, it must have been luck,” Twilight said.

“Apology accepted, but there must be some repercussions for such behavior,” Celestia said. “I see your progress may not be such a fluke after all.”

Celestia’s face suddenly reddened in embarrassment. “Oh dear, that is a penalty on my part. The search of your library tree was conducted illegally, and all evidence found there would be inadmissible in court.

“Would you kindly check you watch? I’d like to see the time.” Twilight said, testing the waters. She was sure that pattern for questions was an even number of words, and questions had to be answered, but couldn’t make heads or tails of the statement rule. It was impossible. It eluded all literary patterns she knew of, adjective, adverbs, nouns didn’t seem to have any purpose or reason here. How like Discord, to create a rule of pure chaos.

“I’d be happy to check the time for you, but you must know that just incurred another penalty. Too bad, so sad, your friend Applejack just agreed to a plea bargain and is willing to testify against you. Forty five minutes are on the clock.”

Even though she knew it was just a lie for a hypothetical situation, Twilight couldn’t help but be enraged. “Applejack would do no such thing, and you know it!”

“Oh really now?” Celestia mused. “Because as I see it, Applejack helped you steal those bits to pay for Granny Smith’s operation.”

Twilight’s mouth nearly hit the floor. How on Equestria did he know about that? Twilight quickly remembered that she had mentioned it in a letter she had sent a week ago. “We didn’t ‘steal’ a thing! It was a school fundraiser, set up by Cheerilee that went to charity, and Applejack said that since it was going it the old folks anyways, we could just take some bits for Granny Smith! Talk about taking things out of context, you slime!”

“Very clever, very clever indeed, Twilight,” Celestia said. “But you did take the bits, didn’t you?

The members of the audience behind Twilight stirred, passing comments about the ongoing trial. Twilight could overhear small snippets of “doesn’t look good” and “another victory for the moon” being tossed around, but she ignored them.

“Yes, but I made sure all the money went to where it was intended to,” Twilight retorted.

“Can you prove that for the jury?” Celestia said with a sneer.

Twilight grinned. “Don’t you have to prove that I didn’t? You’re in violation of your question rule, so isn’t that a penalty?”

There was an eerie silence for a few seconds that echoed throughout the pseudo courtroom. Celestia’s cool demeanor was lost for those brief seconds, replaced by what could only be described as disgusted rage. She begrudgingly replied, “Yes, yes I do have to prove your guilt. And yes, I did just earn myself a penalty. The bits you talked about were confirmed to go straight to Granny Smith.”

Celestia flipped open the pocket watch. “Thirty minutes gone by, and you’ve only figured out one of my rules, and you’re no closer to being declared innocent than when we started. To be honest, Twilight, I’m a bit disappointed. Is Celestia’s most faithful student already calling it quits?”

“Of course not! I’m this close to figuring you out, no way am I going to give up.”

Twilight was certain that the statement rule had something to do with odd numbers, but she couldn’t understand how Discord could make statements that contained an even number of words, yet Twilight could be penalized for the same crime. Twilight tried to remember to the best of her ability what was different about those statements, but came up with nothing. She tried to focus, but shuffling of the audience made it nearly impossible.

Apparently, Discord had taken notice that Twilight was lost in her thoughts, and kept tightlipped, letting the clock run down. Twilight didn’t know how long she’d been lost in thought.

Petrified that she might have let too much time go by, Twilight asked, “Discord, how much time is left?”

“As you know, Twilight that’s a question, and I have to answer. There are only ten minutes remaining, but I see that you’ve managed to incur another nasty penalty. Your friend Spike has betrayed you, and offered up all evidence relating to this case for scrutiny. Looks like the ruling is starting to turn against you, Twilight, and time’s running out. How delicious, seeing you like this, alone and afraid without friends.”

Celestia’s voice changed from her usual stern tone to a mocking falsetto. “Poor little Twi-why, all alone on the moon. No friends, just the vacuum of space for a thousand years.”

Hearing that in her mentor’s voice irked Twilight to an endless degree, but she had to concentrate. What was different about that question? It followed the rules of having even wording. Twilight stopped mid-thought. A rogue thought entered her mind. She hadn’t used Discord’s name in a question before. She took note that Discord’s last statement also violated the odd rule, but included a name. There was no time to waste, even if this route netted her more penalties, it wouldn’t matter if she went over the time limit.

“Discord, could you check the time one last time? I want to make sure that I still have a chance of winning, if not I should just let you have Celestia.”

Celestia looked at her suspiciously, but gave her the time regardless. “There are five minutes remaining.”

She had done it! Discord’s pattern was laid out in front of her like a panel of glass, completely transparent. Twilight resisted patting herself on the back. That could wait until Celestia was back in control, and the madness of Discord was forever vanquished.

“Discord, I figured out your rules!” Twilight shouted triumphantly.

Celestia shot her a look of the purest contempt. “Oh, is that so? Very well, try your best, because this is the only attempt you get.”

Twilight took a deep breath, hoping she wouldn’t forget anything. “First off, questions must be answered first, regardless of any other context of other statements. Questions must be worded with an even number of words unless there is a special exception having someone else’s name in it. If there is someone else’s name in a question or statement, it does not count towards the word count. Speaking of which, statements must be worded with an odd number of words, unless there is another person’s name present in the wording. Pronouns like “he” or “she” and the proper noun “I” count for the even or odd count. Statements do not have to acknowledged, and can be dismissed entirely by the other party. Also, contractions don’t count as words when calculating the even or odd scale.”

By the time she was finished, Twilight was completely out of breath. She looked up at Celestia expectantly, and saw panic incarnate. Discord was going back to the statue again, and there was nothing he could do about it.

“NO! You do not win! It’s my game and I can change the rules as I see fit!” Celestia yelled, her voice becoming nothing more than a child’s pout.

“Face it Discord, you’re all washed up, and I know you can’t break your own rules while in Celestia. Plus that’s three penalties for the persecution. I think the ruling has been decided, hasn’t it boys?” Twilight turned to face the crowd, and they stamped their hooves in approval.

Suddenly, Celestia’s body began contorting uncontrollably, and darkness bled out from her body, encasing the room entirely in pitch-black smog.

A voice that seemingly came from everywhere at once spoke, “You thought you’d won, Twilight? This is only the beginning! I can take control of anyone here, who said I needed your precious Princess when I could have you all for myself! The elements of Harmony would be at my beck and call. Could you imagine it, Twilight? A new age of chaos, with nothing to threaten me! It’d be per—”

Beams of light suddenly flooded the room, casting the darkness aside with one fell swoop. It was Celestia, back in control of her body.

“Fear not, my faithful student, he cannot harm you while in my presence. His temporary power is weak compared to mine,” Celestia said, as the light became blinding, banishing any trace of the darkness in the room.

The light, or rather the magic behind it, was too powerful for Twilight to withstand, and she blacked out for the second time that day.


Twilight awoke in the exact same spot she had fallen. Celestia was there to greet her. Morning had dawned, dim


“Oh dear, Twilight are you okay? You must forgive me for using so much power, but I had to be sure that the bane that is Discord would be forever gone from this world. Don’t worry about that Trixie girl either. Luna is working on un-banishing her.”

“I’m fine, but I don’t think you understand! Discord managed to possess you through power he released from the statue!”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that,” Celestia said with a grin.

“Really? Why not?”

“Well it just so happens that our good pal Discord just purchased himself a one-way ticket straight to the moon.”

Twilight couldn’t contain her laughter. She bucked and rolled across the flow in sheer joy.

Celestia stared back at her, laughing along with her. “I waited for you to wake up, because I thought you might want to do the honors.”

“The honors of what?” Twilight said, dumbfounded.

“Firing the last shot of the moon cannon, of course!”

Twilight climbed on top of the pedestal, and with nothing more than a short makeshift countdown, slammed the button with all her might.

“Goodbye, Discord, and don’t come back,” she whispered.

All Aboard

View Online

The train wasn’t particularly menacing. Quiet the opposite in fact as it is very hard to be menacing while being brightly colored, very well lit and full of smiling ponies. None the less as Applebloom stood there, in the station, looking at the brightly colored, well lit train train full of smiling ponies, only one thought came to mind.

Menacing.

She stood on the platform, watching as it pulled to a stop. It was one of the newer stations, installed by order of Celestia a few years ago. It still had that new train station smell, which is much like new horseshoe smell only with a great deal more coal. It must at this point be said that there was nothing wholly remarkable about the train station, or for that matter its rather cheerily painted trains. But at exactly one in the afternoon something wholly remarkable was set to occur.

The current time is exactly seven minutes past noon.

Applebloom turned to Applejack, still finding it odd that they were almost the same height now. She was exactly as tall as her sister if you counted in the large red bow. But, since red bows do not count under any known system of measurement she would have to wait a while longer. Still, the way things were going she would probably be taller when it was all said and done.

During the time it had taken her to become this tall she had begun to notice that growing up is an altogether unpleasant thing that should be avoided at all costs, and being a narrator I can attest to this fact. Alas ponies do have the same luxuries as narrators, so Applebloom had no choice but to face the fact that she was no longer a filly, though she could not rightly be called a mare. She was in that odd place everypony, even you, ends up at at one point or another, inbetween places, and therefore nowhere at all.

“Have you got your lunch?” asked Applejack, biting her bottom lip.

“Yes.”

“Have you got your apples seeds?”

“Yes.”

“Have you got your water?”

“Yes.” Applebloom nodded a final time. Her sister patted her on the side, her face tense in that happy kind of way only older ponies seemed to be able to manage.

Applebloom knew she was worried and she’d probably stay worried for quite a while, but it was time. All fillies went through it, with colts tossed in for good measure. For some it was a small change, one day they walked down the street and, with little or no warning, it happened. They cross from one side to the other, or come to realize they’d arrived at their destination quite a long time ago, and only just realized it. They are the lucky ones, for the rest of the ponies in-between it takes a bit more. They remain nowhere, unsure of where they’re going. This can be a scary thing, everypony wants to be somewhere. Wherever ‘there’ is.

Applebloom looked at her flank, still as blank as the day she was born, and hoped that ‘there’ would be on the other side of the tracks stretching into the horizon.

The ticket in her saddlebag suddenly felt very heavy. The weight of the words ‘One Way’ threatening to send her tumbling to the ground. But, she was an Apple, and Apple’s were a strong hearty breed. She was honest, she was brave, she was smart and looking back at her sister she knew she was also loved. Back at home she had a brother and a grandmother waiting, they would see her off, and welcome her home, no matter what happened.

Applebloom would certainly need to remember this, but doubly so in about sixty-five minutes.

The current time is ten minutes past noon.

This whole thing had been Scootaloo’s idea. Applebloom mused, her impulsive pegasus friend had told her, if she couldn’t find ‘somewhere’ here, then ‘somewhere’ must rightly be somewhere else. It only made sense.

This was of course, very solid logic, or at least in the mind of Scootaloo, to whom logic was a tenuous friend at best. Still, she’d tried everything else. Sweetie Belle hadn’t thought it was a very good idea, but Sweetie Belle had recently found her way to the other side, a microphone adorning her flank. She was currently the prime act at the local theater several times a week. Applebloom did not want to be jealous of her friend, but had to admit she did feel a slight twinge of anger at not receiving hers. She knew it was wrong to feel that way, but feelings are seldom obedient things, always doing the opposite of what we may want them to. Like a particularly haughty cat who only wants you to pet it when you’re busy doing something else.

So, driven a bit by pride, a bit by jealousy and perhaps more than she wanted to admit by fear. She’d purchased the ticket, packed her bags, and told her family she was heading out to find that ‘somewhere’. She would return when she found it. But until then she would be away.

Applejack had done the same in her youth, so they couldn’t rightly object. Not to say this stopped them from doing so. But, being an Apple, in addition to all the other things the title carried, she was stubborn. It was her aging Grandmother who’d relented first, after that her siblings had little choice but to agree and help her pack. So, with the ticket in her bag, and a slight dread in her stomach, she’d set off.

Applejack, like many ponies was not very good at goodbyes, which is an irony considering the name. Applebloom, knowing this, kindly initiated with a hug. Her sister’s hooves were strong as always and felt terribly safe. For a moment she considered abandoning the whole thing and heading back home for a bit of cider and perhaps a cookie. But Apples don’t do anything halfway. If they did, they wouldn’t be Apples, and as sure as her tail was red she was an Apple.

“Good luck, little sister.” said Applejack softly.

Applebloom managed a small smile. “Thanks, I’ll see you soon.”

Applejack managed a small one in return.“You’d better.”

“All aboard!” called the porter, a rather wiry unicorn in a blue hat.

“That’s my cue.” she said, turning towards the train. “Tell Big Mac and Granny Smith I’ll send a letter when I get there.”

“I sure will.” said Applejack. “..Goodbye Applebloom.”

Applebloom was stuck for a moment. The words seemed so final. She instantly decided that the term ‘Goodbye’ was terribly named.

“Goodbye Applejack.”



So, Applebloom gave her ticket to the porter, who punched a little hole in it, and ushered her onto the train. She could just see over the heads of the ponies milling about the car as they packed up their luggage, directed foals and generally doing busy things. They payed her little attention as she found her room, in a car at the back of the caboose, a small window let in the sun, iluminating a small bed and an even smaller nightstand. She couldn’t help but think the bed looked terribly uncomfortable, compared to her much larger, much softer one back home. Suddenly, though the train had not yet left the station, it suddenly felt terribly far away.

The current time is half past noon.

Applebloom sat her saddlebag on the floor next to the bed. It should now be noted that this saddlebag contained several things, but most importantly her lunch, which consisted of a hay sandwich apples slices and some water, along with what was always carried by Apples, the bag of apple seeds. Applejack was quite right to make sure Applebloom did not forget these items in particular, and you would do well to keep them in mind.

The train’s whistle blared shrilly through the air signaling their departure from the station. She felt the floor shudder a bit as the conductor coaxed the engine to life. Applebloom looked out her window as they pulled forwards, and saw ponyville slowly getting smaller in the distance. There was no turning back now.

At this point I must interrupt again to comment my earlier statement. About one thousand one hundred and two words ago I stated that there was nothing remarkable about the station which Applebloom just left, nor the trains it houses, while this is technically true there something remarkable about the tracks. This remarkable thing is that they lead through the Everfree forest, which is a wholly remarkable place.

The time is a quarter to one in the afternoon.

Applebloom layed her head down as ponyville finally vanished into the horizon. She was right, the bed was terribly uncomfortable, but it would have to do. She thought about where she was heading, and realized she couldn’t even remember the town’s name. It was on the ticket stub in her bag, she hadn’t taken much time to look at it. When she’d gotten home to pack it away she’d put it away in the deepest pocket under the water, the apples seeds, and the sandwich, hidden like a secret.

She hadn’t even bothered to give it a look when she’d given it to the porter. Either because she hadn’t thought about it, or because she didn’t want to. If she studied it for too long it might change her mind. She didn’t want that.

Did she?

Applebloom felt terribly unsure. But it was far too late now, far, far too late. She needed to find somewhere to be. She was sick of being somewhere inbetween.

The time is exactly one in the afternoon.


Appleblooms cabin suddenly grew dark as the train passed beneath the dense foliage of the Everfree Forest. Small flecks of light spilled from in between the leaves, painting the cabin in spots. Applebloom was distracted from her thought for a moment by how pretty it looked. They raced by, changing constantly as the train moved.

Dispite herself she smiled.

Suddenly Applebloom felt herself being drawn forwards, she stumbled a bit. The train was slowing. She found this odd with good reason, as the station wasn’t do for another few hours. She heard the clicking of plates from the dining car as they shifted around and the heavy thuds of luggage falling from the overhead racks.

Something was wrong.

Applebloom looked around her cabin, wondering what she ought to do.

A mare might wait in their car until the someone came to alert them that to what was amiss, or the train started up again. But Applebloom was not a mare, not quite yet in anycase. She still had that bit of filly curiosity that led her to peek her head out of th door, and stare into the abandoned car which lay waiting outside.

She gasped. There was nopony anywhere to be seen. Where only minutes ago there had been bustling activity, no there was nothing but silence. Luggage lay in various states of disaray on the floors and chairs, covered in the spots of light from the tree line. The whole car looked like it was trying to dress up as a cheetah for nightmare night. Which is quite a bit more scary than it sounds when one is facing it alone in the middle of a train which had been fully occupied only moments ago.

They must have gone to their rooms, she thought. Yes, that’s got to be it, there’s simply no other explanation.

She nodded to herself, this made quite a lot more sense than what a small panicky voice in the back of her head was saying. Being not quite a filly, she decided to hush this voice, and listen to the sensible option.

She grabbed her saddlebag and walked through the passenger car until she came to a door, she raised a hoof and knocked twice.

“Hello?” she asked, her voice echoing oddly throughout the train. “Is anypony in there? It seems there’s somethin’ wrong.”

She waited, but there was no answer. The silence seemed incredibly loud.

She knocked again. “Hello?”

Still no answer.

She tried the door, to find that it was open, sliding it back she found that the inside was just as empty as out.

“Okay...” she said to herself, as worried ponies are prone to do. “Must just be an unbooked cabin’ yeah..that’s it.”

She walked, then trotted, the galloped around the train, knocking on various doors, only to find the rooms as empty as the first.

Applebloom was starting to very much doubt that that was ‘it’.

The conductor, she thought. He had to still be here...otherwise who would have stopped the train?

She galloped, quite a bit faster than is classically polite, to the conductors booth. It was behind a large green door, which looked quite a bit less cheerily painted in the light from the forest. Applebloom was quite thoroughly sick of knocking, and ripped the door open as quickly as she could.

Thick moss and foliage spilled out into the car, she fell back onto her rump, pushed back by the sheer amount. Flowers sprouted everywhere in ever color, making the train look downright drab by comparison. Applebloom let out a yelp, scooting back quickly.

The inside of of the booth was dark, she couldn’t see past the door, a deep voice, like the sound of pennies dropping on a hollow floor echoed outwards.

“Yes?” it asked politely.

Applebloom opened and closed her mouth a few times.

“Well? What are you bothering me about?”

“I-I....what....how...where are we?”

“Somewhere.” said the voice simply. “That’s where you wanted to go isn’t it? This is your stop.”

“N-no! This isn’t my stop! I’m going...” she realized she had forgotten. “Um...one moment.” she remembered the ticket stubs. Applebloom bucked her saddlebag off, and fished through it until she found the small piece of paper. “Here” she grabbed it in her mouth. “This is where I’m going.”

She resisted the urge to pull back as a large vine reached forward and curled around the ticket. It held it up to the darkness for a moment.

“Yep, there it is.” The vine hovered in front of her nose. “Somewhere.”

Sure enough, now embossed in bright gold letters, were the words ‘Somewhere’ printed in fancy type.

“B-but that wasn’t on there when I bought it!”

Applebloom got the strangest impression the collection of vines was shrugging. “Not my problem.”

“Well I reckon it is your problem....whatever you are! Where is everypony anyway? There were other passengers besides’ me. They certaintly weren’t headin’ for ‘Somewhere’!”

“Well of course not.” said the darkness. “This is your stop. They’ve all got their own stops. Now, please disembark, and be sure to give us a good review, and avoid the unsure.”

Applebloom was confused. “B-but what happened to them!? Where am I supposed to go!? And what the heck are you!?”

“I’m your conductor,” the darkness said simply. “Have a safe journey.”

The door shut with a decisive click.

“Wait!” Applebloom tried to open the door again, only to find it stuck fast. “You come back here right now! I’m not gettin’ off here I tell you! This isn’t my stop!”

There was no answer.

“Fine!” Applebloom yelled. “I’ll just sit here till you start the train up again. See how you like that!” Applebloom sat down stubbornly.

There was the sound of rattling leaves, or perhaps a sigh from behind the door. Suddenly the floorboard lifted upwards at almost exactly seventy degrees. Applebloom went tumbling end over end as the side of the train opened like it was made of liquid. She was roughly deposited on the mossy ground of the forest.

“Hey!” she yelled.

She was drowned out by the sound of the engines starting again. The train began to move forwards.

Applebloom was on her hooves and chasing it before she even realized.

“Wait! This ain’t my stop! You let me back on right now! You hear!?”

The train did not hear. It sped up, and though she chased it valiantly it soon outpaced her, and she was left staring at the cabose as it pulled off in the darkness of the Forrest.

Soon she was left staring down the tracks. All alone.

“Remember beware the unsure!” echoed back after a few minutes.


Applebloom stood there for several minutes staring in disbelief. She was now all by herself, in the middle of the Everfree forest. She’d been inside before, but never farther than her friend Zecora’s house, and always on the designated path. Now the small hut the old zebra lived in, and any kind of path seemed terribly far away.

Then an idea occured to her.

“I’ll just follow the tracks!” she said aloud. “They’ve got to lead out of here at some point.”

So, feeling very proud of herself, she situated her hooves right down the middle of the metal railing, and started walking.

Sadly, things are rarely ever this simple.

After walking for what seemed like an hour, Applebloom’s hooves were aching fiercely, but still she soldiered on continuing forwards to what she was sure to be a break in the forrest.

Until she came upon a green saddlebag.

“Huh?...” she looked at it closely, there was an apple on the side, and the letters ‘AB’ stitched into the side. It was hers. She’d dropped it when the train dumped her out.

She was going in circles.

Her brain railed against this. How was that possible? The tracks had come from ponyville, they couldn’t go in a circle or she would have ended up back there, or at least run into the train again. But she hadn’t.

The mare side of her brain told her that it must be some kind of mistake, perhaps her bag got caught on the side of the train and dragged along to this point before it had fallen off. This was by all rights a sound theory. She nodded, that much be it.

“It’s about time you got back.” said a voice.

Applebloom’s head whipped around to find a small pig with a missing ear sitting a few feet away. It crinkled its snout at her.

She looked around a bit more.

“Yeah, it was me. It’s about time you got back sweetheart.”

Applebloom’s mind registered two things. The mare side registered that a pig was talking to her, while the filly side very much wanted to buck it for calling her ‘Sweetheart’.

The filly side won out.

“Sweetheart?” Applebloom advanced on the small thing. “Who are you calling sweetheat?”

“That’d be you.” The pig crinkled its nose again. “Sweetheart. It took you long enough.” Its voice sounded a bit like someone had put Big Macintosh in a helium balloon.

Applebloom glared down at the pig. “If you don’t want to find yourself bucked halfway across the forest I’d loose the nickname.”

It squeled a bit. “Fine ‘AB’. No need to be so violent.”

“AB?”

“That’s what it says on your back ain’t it?”

“That’s Applebloom,” she said. Now that her anger was ebbing the mare side of her brain took over. “How are you talking anyway? And what do you mean ‘It’s about time you got back?”

The pig raised a stubby cloven hoof. “One, I could ask you the same question. Just ‘cause we’re quiet doesn’t mean we pigs can’t talk. Two, the track goes in a circle, if you keep that up you’ll just go around till you drop.”

The filly side of Applebloom’s brain gave a little halfhearted cheer for being correct, and briefly noted it was lucky the pig only had two things to list. Its hoof only had two points.

“Well,” said Applebloom in a huff. “How do you suggest I get out of here? And where is ‘here’ anyway?”

“Here?” repeated the pig. “One,” it held up its hoof again. “This is Somewhere. Two, you’d have to ask the Unsure.”

Applebloom opened her mouth to ask another question, but the pig headed her off.

“Let me guess, more questions? Let me save you some breath sweethea-”

At Applebloom’s glare the word died in his throat.

“I mean...AB.” He held up his hoof a third time. “One, Somewhere is everywhere, everywhere is Somewhere, Somewhere ain’t Nowhere. Two the Unsure knows everything. It’ll know how to get you out of here.”

Applebloom considered this. The filly side of her brain accepted it readily, it was just like the fairy stories she’d read as a foal, but the mare side of her brain balked. None of this made sense, she should just keep following the tracks.

Once again the filly side won out.

“Fine, I don’t rightly understand all this, but if this ‘Unsure’ knows how to get me out of here, I sure as heck mean to ask him about it.”

“It,” the pig corrected.

“It?”

The pig nodded. “It ain’t sure if it’s a boy or a girl, so it’s an ‘it’ til further notice.”

“Fine.” said Applebloom. “Whatever ‘it’ is. I’ve got a couple of word for it.” she looked down at the small pink pig. “Take me.”

The pig made a snorting sound, which may have been a laugh. “And why would I do that sweethea-....I mean AB?”

Applebloom floundered for a moment. “Uh...”

Exactly. “I gave you the info, that’s my good deed for the day. You’re on your own.” The Pig turned to leave.

“Wait!” Applebloom held out a hoof. “I don’t know which way to go!”

The pig squealed irritably. “Not my problem. Good luck AB.”

Applebloom’s mind raced, the last thing she needed to do was get lost in the forest again. The filly side of her brain told her to chase the pig down and make it tell her, but the mare side of her brain politely suggested she try something else.

Applebloom decided to listen to what the mare side had to say.

It suggested that she give the pig something in return for helping her. ‘You get more pigs with slop than with vinegar’ it supplied.

This made sense to Applebloom, she decided to listen to the mare side.

It gloated over its win while the filly side sulked in the corner.

Applebloom yelled one more time. “Hey pig! What if I had something to trade?”

The pig stopped, cocking his good ear in her direction. “I’m listening.”

She reached into her saddlebag, pulling out the sandwich, setting it on the ground. “How’s this?”

The pig eyed the sandwich warily. “This ain’t no trick?”

Applebloom shook her head. “I swear on the Apple Family it ain’t. And you can take that to the bank.”

The pig eyed her for a moment. The dived into the sandwich like a ravenous lion.

It was gone in a matter of seconds, the pig smacked happily, rolling back and forth on the breadcrumbs that had fallen during the massacre.

“Alright, AB, you got yourself a deal.”

Applebloom smiled. “Great! There’s some apple slices in it for you at the end as well.”

“There’s more!?” asked the Pig, sounding, for the first time since Applebloom had met him happy, or for that matter anything that wasn’t surly.

“Yep.” She nodded. “Now,have you got a name?”

“Sty,” the pig said simply. “The name’s Sty.” he turned and walked towards the forest. “Now, we’d best get a move on.”

Applebloom followed close behind. “Agreed.”

Sty was faster than he looked, she had to keep up a trot in order not to loose him. “Good,” he said. “Because if you’re here when the sun goes down, you might not be gettin’ out.”


Applebloom wanted to ask what he meant by this, but he simply sped up. Her hooves still hurt from walking along the train tracks for so long. But her years of helping in the fields of her family’s orchard had made her strong. She kept up dispite their complaints.

The mare side of her mind was still on the fence about following a talking pig deep into a dangerous forest, but it was starting to come around. The filly side bounced along happily, enjoying the adventure.

Sty said nothing more as they headed fowards to meet the Unsure. The conductors warning rose up in her mind, the filly side ignoring it out of stubborn anger at being dumped out of a train. The mare side told her she ought to be careful.

Eventually Sty came to a stop. He suddenly looked very afraid.

“What is it?” asked Applebloom.

“It’s not good, that’s what it is.” he pushed his snout against her leg. “Quick! Quick! Under that bush.”

Applebloom allowed him to push her under a small cluster of bushes, she crouched down next to him and waited.

“What’s going on?” she whispered.

“My nose tells me somethin’s goin’ down. Don’t move, AB.”

“Alright,” Applebloom said.

So they waited. While they do this, I will take this time to tell you that the Everfree forest is a place of many oddities unknown to modern magic, science or any mixture therein. Everything you can imagine, and perhaps a bit more may or may not exist there. And while something may or may not exist, it certainly may be able to harm a small pig and a not quite mare. The main reason that a small pig had been able to survive in this place for long enough to develop a surly disposition was that he was very skilled at hiding. Applebloom did not know much about Sty beyond what she’d encountered in the total of thirty some odd minutes she had known him. So, now that there was a moment of rest, she decided to ask him.

“Sty?” she whispered.

“What is it?”

“Well....I wanted to ask, what’s a pig doing in the Everfree forest?”

Sty snorted. “Is now really the time to ask this, AB?”

“Well, we’ve been sitting here for a few minutes now and nothing’s happen, I might as well learn a bit about my tour guide.”

Sty sighed. “Fine, but whisper softer.”

“Okay.” Applebloom whispered at a slightly lower volume.

“Well, it’s like this. The world isn’t a very fair place sweetheart.”

Applebloom decided to let this one slide.

“I started out as a piglet, same as anyone, small pink, rolling in the mud. You know? Anyhow, I was the runt of the litter. To small to be of much use to anyone. Pigs are supposed to find truffles for ponies, that’s the deal. But, if I was too small and weak to keep up with the other pigs, what good was I? Well apparently the farmer had the same idea.”

Applebloom opened her mouth, but Sty held up a hoof for silence.

“Save it, I was useless and I know that. Still am useless, and don’t try to tell me no different.” He snorted. “Anywho, one day the farmer comes in with his daily slop, and what’s he do? Does he put it in the trough? Nope, he waves a bit in front of me. Leads me away from my mother, my brothers, my sisters, and into the forest.”

Applebloom put a hoof to her mouth. “That’s awful!”

“Shhhh!” Sty stared at her. “I know it, but that’s life. He tossed the slop into he trees and no more Sty. Or at least that’s what he thought. I lived you see? I didn’t just get eaten or zapped, or changed into some monster. I’m here, and I looked out for myself. I may be useless to everyone else, but at least I can manage that. I was all alone in the forest, so, why stay quiet? I ain’t doin’ nothin’ no one tells me to do. I do what I want when I want. I look out for me.”

Applebloom was silent for a moment.

“Then...why did you tell me about the train tracks?” she asked finally.

Sty looked at her, his small piggy eyes examining her.

“You’re just a filly. I ain’t heartless alright?”

Applebloom smilled a bit, tossing a hoof around his side. “And you’re not useless either.”

The small pig struggled. “Let go’a me!”

Then from both Applebloom and Sty’s perspective the world exploded.


Fire was everywhere, the heat hit the pair of them fiercely, singeing the tip of Applebloom’s mane and tail, and causing Sty to squeal out in pain.

“Elemental!” he yelled.

Applebloom grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. The bush Sty had chosen offered no protection as what seemed to be a pony made of fire came kicking and bucking wildly. It let out a horribly sound, like a neigh and scream mixed into one. Everything within five feet of it burst into flames.

Applebloom jumped clear as the bush and all surrounding greenery went up in flames.

“Run!” yelled Sty “Just run!”

The filly and mare sides of Applebloom’s brain agreed with this advice.

Applebloom galloped hard, the heat at her back getting more intense as the elemental grew closer. It let out another hideous scream, which drowned out Applebloom’s own.

She dashed through the forrest, over branches and crackling leaves trying desperately to outrun the creature.

Alas, not quite fillies, who aren’t quite mares are prone to trip.

A branch caught her hoof, and sent her sprawling onto the ground. Her rear hoof twisted oddly as she fell. Pain shot up her leg, causing her to cry out. Sty went flying into the air landing several feet away.

He yelled something but Applebloom couldn’t hear it as the thing screamed again. It was approaching her fast, the forest ablaze around it. She tired to get up, but her rear leg buckled under her weight. She fell to the ground, looking back as the creature closed the gap. She closed her eyes.

“Applebloom!” yelled Sty, but he was too far away to be of any help.

She waited several minutes for the end to come, the sound of the blaze crackling and roaring in her ears, the screams of the thing ringing through the trees. but the end didn’t come.

She found this odd.

Applebloom opened her eyes to find the creature had stopped. It thrashed and beat its hooves against the ground, but it didn’t advance. It screamed again, falling to the ground, its limbs flailing about.

Sty was suddenly at her side. “Come on! We gotta get out of here. Its hurt. This is our chance!” The small pig positioned itself under her hurt leg. She was still just small enough for him to offer some support. But she stopped.

“Are you crazy!? Come on!”

Applebloom looked at the creature. Its head turned towards her, flames licking over its surface. It screamed again.

A scream of pain.

“No...” she said finally.

“What!?” Sty tried to move her forwards on his own, but got nowhere. “We can’t stay here. It’ll kill you! That’s what fire does, that’s what fire elemental’s do. They burn, they destroy, and they do not care about fillies or talking pigs. Now get a move on!!”

“No...” said Applebloom.

She shook the pig away, and limped towards the thing. Its thrashing seemed to ebb as she got closer.

“AB! AB come back!”

Applebloom ignored him. The walking was hard, painful work, as she got closer the heat got more and more intense, her mane may or may not have been on fire, but she didn’t care.

The mare side of her brain screamed at her to take Sty’s advice. The filly side pushed her to keep going.

She was a few feet away from it when her back leg buckled again. She fell forwards, exhausted. The ground was so hot....and she was so tired. But she needed to keep going.

Suddenly she found something supporting her. She looked down to see Sty at her side, pushing against her flank, trying to get her up. Despite the heat she smiled.

“You really aren’t heartless...” she said breathlessly.

Sty didn’t bother with a reply. He pushed her to her hooves. And with a new surge of energy, she made it the rest of the way.

She almost couldn’t keep her eyes open, the air burned on her skin and in her throat, but she had to do something.

The thing screamed again.

The filly side of her brain hadn’t bothered to think this far, but the mare side figured if it’d gotten this far, it might as well help.

Applebloom reached into her saddlebag, and grabbed the bottle of water. Not bothering with the cap, she threw it at the creature.

The plastic melted instantly as the thing screamed a final time.

There was a whooshing sound a gust of cold air, then Applebloom collapsed.


There was something poking the side of Applebloom’s head. The filly side of her brain begged for five more minutes. The mare side told her to wake up.

She listened to the filly side up until around the fiftieth poke.

Her eyes opened. They were fuzzy, and incredibly dry. The inside of her mouth felt like a desert, and there was a fierce pain coming from one of her legs. She was laying in a wide circle of ash.

Something brown was laying beside her.

When her eyes focused, she scooted back in shock, gasping.

The thing was terribly burned. It looked as though it were made of wood. Interwoven branches made up its body and face, while thick trunks made up the legs. It reminded her of the timberwolves from her grandmother’s stories, only in more of a pony shape.

It struggled weakly on the ground. Its eyes two dark gaps in the wood. It scooted a bit closer to her. She pulled back farther, until she hit a tree.

The thing cocked its head to the side.

Applebloom just stared back in horror.

It nodded, seeming to understand her fear. There was a great rattling sound from inside of it. The creature’s branches seemed to tighten as it drew what little strength it had. Its wooden mouth opened, and a single drop of water dripped slowly out, and into the ash.

The thing slumped, apparently spent.

A small green sprout burst from the soil beneath its head.

The thing didn’t move.

Applebloom stood very still for a moment. Then dragged herself forwards a little to look at the thing, or what was left of it. The small sprout grew steadily, by the time she got close enough for a good look it was a good hoof high.

Suddenly, she had an idea.

She reached into her saddlebag, quite surprised it still held anything at all after the fire, and pulled out the package of apples seeds.

She layed it flat on the ground, held it down with a hoof, and ripped it open with her teeth. Straining immensely, she poured its contents over the creature.

And nothing happened.

She waited for several minutes, but the thing was silent.

Suddenly she remembered Sty. She looked around the remains of the forest, trying to find the small pig, looking over the charred branches and still smoldering leaves.

Her eyes finally landed on him.

He was more red than pink. The burns on his body had already begun to peel, and he wasn’t moving.

She tried to call out to him, but her voice was gone, taken by the heat of the fire. Still she rasped, hoping he would hear.

If he did, he still didn’t move.

She slumped to the ground, defeated.

She’d just closed her eyes when the ground began to rumble.

Applebloom’s head shot up just in time to see the wisps of vines sprouting from the creatures eyes. All at once green was surrounded it. Vines tightened around its legs, making them strong and healthy, thick, strong wood replaced the burned husk that had been left by the fire. The thing grew, and grew until it was well over Applebloom’s head, towering to the top of the trees. Its back was full of apple trees.

It looked won at Applebloom, cocking its head to the side. It seemed to be frowning.

It nudged her with its giant head, being surprisingly gentle.

Applebloom looked up in shock.

The thing assessed her when she didn’t get up. Its vines tensing for a moment.

A single apple fell from the ground right in front of her.

The thing sat on its haunches expectantly.

Applebloom looked from it to the apple.

It nodded.

The mare side of her brain was at a complete loss, but her filly side decided to take a bite.

Juice filled her mouth, sweet and pure, quenching her thirst. Her burns stopped hurting, the skin and fur returning, fresh and silky. Her body filled with energy as she chewed, growing stronger. After a while she was able to get to her hooves. She shook her back leg experimentally.

The thing nodded a few times in quick succession. Applebloom took this as a smile.

“Um...thank you...” she said.

It bowed deeply.

Applebloom looked around until she saw Sty again. The creature looked in the same direction, and pointed to the rest of the apple.

Applebloom nodded. “I understand. I’m glad I could help.”

The thing nodded a final time, then bounded off into the forest, its wooden hooves shaking the earth in its wake.

Applebloom walked gingerly over to Sty, and placed an ear on his chest. He was still breathing, but it was shallow. She crushed some of the apple under hoof, and gently scooped it into his mouth.

The forest was silent for several minutes, mostly because not even woodland creatures like to talk during the suspenseful bits.

Slowly Sty’s hide turned from red to a healthy shade of pink. When Applebloom looked at his face she noticed he suddenly had two ears.

He coughed a few times.

“Yep,” Applebloom said with a grin. “Definitely not heartless.”

Sty coughed a few more times. “Says you.”


They layed around the forest for a while as the Apple finished its work healing them. Sty had taken up riding on Applebloom’s back in the mean time while she paced.

“So...what you’re telling me that wasn’t a fire elemental, but an earth one?”

Sty snorted the affirmative.

“And it gave me this apple for saving its life?”

“Yep, that’s about the long and short’of it.” Sty hopped down to examine what was left. He wobbled a bit, apparently he’d gotten used to balancing with one ear. “It’ll grant any wish within the forrest’s power.”

“Can it take me away from here?”

Sty shook his head. “Nope, the forest is designed to keep things in, not let them out. But, it can do one thing.”

Applebloom eyed the apple appraising. “What’s that?”

“Take you to the Unsure, who can get you out. Saves us a bit of time.”

Applebloom nodded. “Alright, but tell me a few things.”

“Shoot.”

“One, what happens at sundown? Two, what is ‘The Unsure’ and three will you come with me?”

Sty was quiet for a second. He sighed, and held up a hoof.

“One, at sundown if you’re not out you get slightly deeper into the forest. What that means is you become a step closer to becoming a creature, like that earth elemental. Or worse, whatever set it on fire. Two, ‘The Unsure’ is a being like...” he paused. “Who is that lady who runs this country?”

“Celestia.” Applebloom said.

“Like Celestia, there’s a couple thing like her. It’s one of them, you know, order and chaos and all that stuff. Except unlike chaos ‘The Unsure’ isn’t aligned to any party, it’s unsure, in the middle, the grey area, good and evil, you get me?”

Applebloom nodded. “I think so.

“And thee...” Sty looked at his cloven hoof, seeming just realizing he only hat two points to list things on. He decided to stand on his hind legs and lift his other hoof. “Three, I can’t I’m several steps too far in.”

“Oh...” said Applebloom. “Isn’t there anything I can do?”

“Sorry sweethe-” he stopped himself.

“It’s really fine.” said Applebloom attempting a small smile.

Sty returned it in his piggy way. “Sorry sweetheart, nothing to be done.” he hopped back up into her back. “Now come on, we need to see the unsure, the sun’ll be down in less than an an hour. Bite the apple and think really hard about seeing the unsure.”

“Bu-”

“Now!”

Applebloom did as he instructed, the Apple’s amazingly sweet taste filling her mouth. She closed her eyes, and thought about seeing the unsure.


When she opened them she was in a clearing. Sty peeked around her head at a large throne, on which sat something that at one moment looked like a pony, then the next a zebra, then a mantacore, then a two legged pink something Applebloom couldn’t identify.

“What do you want?” asked it, this time as an alligator. Suddenly it was a flamingo. “Now wait....do I care?” Then a rhinoceros “I think I do...but then I might not.”

Applebloom stepped up to it, trying not to look directly in its eyes, which never seemed to change.

“Are you the unsure?” she asked.

“I’m not sure.” it answered.

“Yes! Yes that’s him!” said Sty. “Now come on, we haven’t got much time. Ask him!”

“Um...” she began.

“Shut up.” said an ant. “No, please do keep talking” said an elephant.

“I...would like to get out of this forest.”

“That’s funny.” said a hyena. “That’s sad.” said a basset hound. “That’s impossible!” said a bipedal pink thing. “Sure!” said a pony.

“Which one is it?” asked Applebloom, looking at Sty worriedly.

He gave the piggy equivalent of a shrug.

“Can you or can you not let me out of the forest?” she asked again, trying to sound more bold than she felt.

“I think I can,” said a baboon. “But maybe not,” said a giraffe.

“It’s a yes or no question!” Applebloom yelled.

Sty gasped.

The Unsure froze mid-change, in the middle it was something Applebloom couldn’t begin to describe, so I’m certainly not going to try. But just know it was deeply terrifying.

“Yes or no?” it said. “Yes or no?” There was something that might have been a laugh. “Things are hardly ever that easy my dear.” it snapped it’s front appendage.

Applebloom suddenly found herself alone in a dark place. There wasn’t a floor, or a ceiling, or an up or a down. Just space in ever direction.

“How can you tell me to choose when you yourself cannot answer that question?” The Unsure’s voice echoed through the void.

“What do you mean!?” Yelled Applebloom. She looked around wildy for Sty, but could find no trace.

“He means us.” said a small filly in a bright read bow.

“Quite.” said a tall mare in a pale blue bow.

“I’m Applebloom.” they both said at once.

That maybe-laugh of the Unsure rung out through space again. “Inbetween places are we? Nowhere trying to get somewhere? You seem so....unsure!”

The filly Applebloom looked up at her with imploring eyes. “He want’s you to choose. Pick me!”

“No!” the mare Applebloom looked at her sternly. “Pick me!”

“Remember how I told you to check the train?” asked the filly.

“Well that’s all well and good, but without me Sty would never have helped. You.” The mare turned her nose up.

“You wouldn’t have saved that elemental!”

“You would have burned to death trying!”

Applebloom put her hooves over her ears, trying to block them out. But it did no good.

“Stop!!” she yelled.

Both Appleblooms were silent, looking at her expectantly.

“I....” Applebloom looked between them. “I.....I choose....”

“Tick-tock Applebloom.” called the Unsure. “Time’s running out....or maybe it’s not? I’m really not sure...”

Applebloom sat on her haunches as she drifted through space, trying to roll into a ball and get away. She didn’t want to grow up totally....but she didn’t want to stay a filly. She wanted to find her cutie mark, but she didn’t want to loose her sense of adventure...

Suddenly Appleboom’s head rose up.

“I know.”

“You do?” asked the Appleblooms.

“Not really.” Applebloom said mildy. “I’m not sure I don’t know which to choose. That is my answer.”

The void was silent for a moment.

“That’s it isn’t it?” asked the Unsure.

“I think that is.” said the Unsure.

“By jove she’s got it!” said the Unsure.

“Congradulations! And just in the nick of time!”

The two other Appleblooms vanished.

“That means you get to go home!”

The Unsure appeared in front of her, as several things at once. “A bit of uncertainty is the spice of life isn’t it?”

Applebloom stared at him.

“Well, is it? Tell me, I really don’t know.”

Applebloom just continued to stare at him.

“Fine not funny. Or maybe it was and you just have no sense of humor? Or maybe I’m just wacky?”

The Unsure did a little dance.

Applebloom didn’t waver.

“Fine. I’ll send you home.”

“Wait!” Applebloom said suddenly. “Sty too.”

The little pig suddenly appeared in the void, frozen.

“I’m afraid he’s too far in my dear. Can’t come out.”

“That’s a lie.” said Applebloom.

“And are you ‘sure’ about that?”

Applebloom nodded. “Yes. Otherwise you wouldn’t be so sure.”

The unsure laughed. “Fine, fair enough. That magic apple might have dome more than just give him his ear back, and made him smell less like bacon.”

“Exactly. So send him back with me.”

“Fine.” the Unsure relented. “But he won’t talk to you. Not out of this forest.”

“I don’t care.”

“As you wish.”

The Unsure clapped his hands, hooves, claws, tentacles and feet.



Applebloom woke up. The bed was still as uncomfortable as she remembered. The train had just pulled into the station, its whistle blaring in her ears. She got up and shook herself off. Her saddlebag was still there. She put it on, and hopped out of her cabin.

Pushing through the crowd of ponies trying to get out of the train. On her way down the train stairs, she noticed a small vine growing on the banister near the conductor's booth. She smiled, and continued walking. She walked until she was out of the station, away from the crowds, and on a small dirt road leading to nowhere in particular. As she walked she heard a squealing noise.

Taking a detour into a small ditch she found a pig stuck lying on its back, its legs waving pitifully in the air. She pulled it out, and placed it on her back.

One of its ears was missing.

So, Applebloom and the pig headed into the town. Neither of them knew its name, and at current Applebloom was somewhere in between being a filly and mare, and therefore nowhere at all. But she was fine with that. She’d been Somewhere, and found that perhaps Nowhere isn’t that bad a place to be.

And she knew, for now, that it’s okay to be a little unsure.

Arrivals and Departures

View Online

“You can’t change who you are anyway, so why leave?”

“You don’t have to force yourself to do this, we can fix it. Please...”

“Running away again already? I thought you’d be made of sterner stuff by now.”


The hiss of steam and the blow of the train’s whistle brought Nickel back to the less painful present. He groaned, bringing a hoof to his neck as his eyes fluttered open. The platform was still empty, just as it was in the dim dawn when he arrived. The bench hadn’t made for the most pleasant nap, and his saddlebags, packed to brim, didn’t make the pain along his spine any better.

He took a few moments to stretch his hooves, eyes locked on his brown coat as he tried to adjust to the sunlight. “Maybe getting here early... wasn’t really necessary, or worth the trouble,” he grumbled as he dragged himself off the bench to stand up. A few locks of rust red hair blocked his vision, but he quickly brushed them away before trying to keep his balance. His hind legs were still asleep, and sent a tingling sensation up along his flank with each careful step he took.

He turned his head to the sound of a ringing bell at the far end of the platform. The train had pulled up, blocking out the view of Canterlot. An aged colt stood at the head of the train, ringing the bell for a few more seconds before placing it down at his side. “All aboard!” he shouted, adding a sigh as he scanned the vacant platform. “As few as that is...”

Nickel shook his head, holding back a chuckle as he trotted up to the front of the train. He did his best to pull the ticket from his bags without moving them. Thankfully, the small cloak he wore underneath helped him in concealing his flank, though one of the five aces managed to slip into sight for a moment. However, no one of importance was watching, and within a few minutes he was seated comfortably inside.

The first train car was empty, and so Nickel seated himself next to a window. He took his saddlebags off, and adjusted his cloak once again before gazing out at Canterlot. The city was just starting to wake, but Nickel was focused on the city instead of the ponies filling the streets. He could barely make out the park he used to... “perform” at, if that was the kinder word to call his “art”. It was where he met Dazzle too. Past that was the building in which he used to live, with his now former friend Marbles. He could still make out the room from this far, the only window that didn’t reflect the early morning sun.

“Well, so long Canterlot,” Nickel said as the train started to pull away from the station, “hello where ever...”

“Hi!”

Nickel jumped up from his seat, his head jerking to the source of the shout. He was greeted by a silver pegasus, smiling and flapping her wings idly. Nickel tried to calm himself, coughing a few times to let his heartbeat slow.

The pegasus’ smile quickly faded as she blushed and shook her head. “Oh no, I’m sorry, I just, well, we’re the only two in the car and I—” She stopped for a moment, closing her eyes and counting to herself, “One, two, three, four, five.” She opened her eyes again, “Where are my manners? I’m Silver Lining. I just, well, we’re the only two on the train and I thought it might be a nicer ride if we talked or, something.” She smiled, slowly dropping down to the ground.

Nickel blinked, but returned her smile, motioning a hoof to the bench across from him. “Take a seat, plenty of room.” He caught her cutie mark out of the corner of his eye: a dark cloud surrounded by sunbeams.

Silver Lining laughed as she sat down across from Nickel. “Yeah, I guess there is.” She looked at the window, catching one last glimpse of Canterlot before it faded from sight.

Nickel’s eyes were focused, doing his best to read his “companion”. It was an annoying habit to have, but one that paid off more often than not. “Staying or visiting?” he asked, scanning the edge of his vision for a moment to see if anyone else had arrived at the last moment.

Her ears picked up as she turned back to him. “Hmm? Oh, umm, staying, hopefully.”

“I meant in Canterlot,” Nickel said quickly, keeping his smile in full force. However, his thoughts were elsewhere. ‘Have to keep up appearances. Can’t reveal too much. Don’t lose focus. Learn something from nothing. She’s easily distracted, probably easy to mislead as well. Like galloping, easy to remember, hard to master. Have to hone it.’

“Oh, no, I was just stopping by on the way through.” She smiled, running a hoof along the bench. “Where you’re going is more important, right?”

“Why the train?” ‘Optimist, probably assumes the best from everyone, easier to mislead.’

“What do you mean?” She kept smiling, though her eyes drifted down to the large saddlebags in front of Nickel.

“Well, I mean with those wings, you think you could save a few bits here and there,” Nickel said with a chuckle, noting her wandering eyes. ‘Inquisitive, but probably too timid to ask questions.’

Silver Lining laughed loudly, trying to cover her mouth with her hooves. “I— hehehe, I guess I would if I didn’t get tired flying for a few hours, huh?”

Nickel shrugged, his smile bending into a smug smirk. “I guess you have a poi—”

“What about you?” she asked, her pleasant smile gone.

“... Was staying, but not anymore obviously.” ‘Maybe not as simple as I thought.’

“So are you planning on staying where you’re headed?”

“Guess that will depend on how things turn out. You can’t be too sure how things will turn out, right?” Nickel tugged on his cloak with a hoof, still unsure if it was doing its job.

“Right, but still, you’re excited, right?” Her smile had returned. “Going to a whole new place?”

Nickel coughed to clear his throat, trying to keep his composure. “Well, I’m more concerned about getting away.” ‘Keep calm. None of this matters.’

“Did something bad happen?” she asked, her eyes and mouth drooping down. She leaned a bit closer, and Nickel noticed her wings stretching idly.

“Old news. Just some... falling out with friends is all.” Nickel tried his best to shrug off the situation, keeping his focus on Silver Lining, and his mind on the present. ‘It’s past. It can’t be changed. Stop worrying about it.’

“Ohhh, I’m sorry to hear that.” Her wings folded back in as she leaned back towards her own bench, “It’s always bad to lose friends.”

“If they leave so easily, they aren’t worth keeping. That’s what some ponies say, right?” Nickel looked down for a moment, shaking his head gently. When he looked up, however, Silver Lining was looking out of the window again.

“What do you think about those clouds?” she asked, pointing a hoof at the window.

Nickel turned to look, spotting a large mess of black and grey on the horizon. He didn’t hesitate to answer. “Like rain. That’s what the weather report said.” He pointed underneath the cloud, “You can even see the pegasi that are busy at work.”

Silver Lining giggled in return, trying not to fall out of her seat. “N-no, no, no. I didn’t mean like that.”

“What? Is it some kind of cloud watching exercise? If I see a bunny rabbit or a frog?” Nickel added a chuckle afterwards, trying to appear unfazed, but his eye began to twitch and his smile crack. ‘Calm. Focused. It’s only questions.’

“No, not like that. It’s like...” She rubbed her chin, trying to search for the words as she closed her eyes again. “One, two, three, four, five, six, sev—” Her eyes bolted open, “Oh! Yeah, it’s like, there’s rain now, but it doesn’t matter that it’s rain now.” Nickel was kind enough not to interrupt her, looking at the clouds again. “The rain could mean anything. It could make plants grow, or flow into a stream for something to drink. It could even just turn into a rainbow afterwards.”

Nickel adjusted the cloak again, turning back to Silver Lining, “And what does that have to do with... anything?” ‘Rambling. Not coherent. Did she see on the platform? Did she recognize me from the park some day? Is she trying to get back at me? Did Marbles send her? No, he’s not malicious... maybe Crim?’ Nickel’s mind was racing as he stared past his companion, trying not to let his distress show.

“Well... ponies are like that too.” She looked down, fiddling with her front hooves along the bench. “Ponies can be like clouds. They might be sad, or angry, or even happy when you first meet them, but you don’t know how they’ll be tomorrow.” Her gaze drifted up to Nickel’s flank, noticing his hooves messing with his cloak. “Why do you keep doing that?”

Nickel’s hooves stopped, his eyes snapping back into focus on her. “No... no reason,” he said, trying to shrug the question off. “You, kind of have a point about the clouds. Even if it’s a little odd.”

She smiled, her wings flapping happily, and lifting her off of her seat before she noticed. She laughed as she dropped back down to the bench. “Being odd isn’t all that bad. It’s better than being boring.”

The horizon of clouds vanished as the train entered a tunnel, and darkness engulfed the car. It was only a moment before the lights flickered on inside of the car, but it was enough time for Nickel to pull himself together again. His hoof shuffled against the bench as he tried to pull the conversation somewhere... safer.

“So, why are you headed to Trottingham?” Nickel asked, smiling once again. ‘Keep up appearances. Stay defensive. Why am I making a big deal about this? She’s not important!’

“Well, I lived with my family for a while, back in Cloudsdale, but it was... just time to leave the nest.” She looked at the window, greeted by a faint reflection of herself and Nickel against the dark walls of the tunnel. “I just had spread my wings and be my own mare, to see if I could make it on my own. You know, sink or swim, or umm, fly or fall in this case.” She laughed, smiling at Nickel. “Any reason for you?”

“Just somewhere to go. I’m not too picky.” He coughed again, wiping away a few beads of sweat from his forehead.

Nickel was offered a respite when a stewardess trotted up with a cart, looking at Nickel. “Anything to drink?”

“No,” Nickel said flatly, looking out at the dark walls of the tunnel.

“No, thank you,” Silver Lining added. She waited for the stewardess to leave before looking down at Nickel’s bags. “So, just getting away, huh?”

“Yes, I already said that.” Nickel’s gaze didn’t move from the window.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” she asked, trying to lean in front of his vision. “It never hurts to talk.”

Nickel’s eyes began to twitch for a moment before he shut them tight. He took a deep breath before looking at Silver Lining. “Listen... I know you mean well and everything, but I’m fine. I messed things up, and that’s it. I’m not about to enter a situation where I do the same.”

“So you have something to hide?” Her smile was gone again as she looked down at his cloak. “Like your mark.” She smiled again when he looked back up at her, but it appeared more like a smirk to Nickel. “Come on, it’s kind of obvious.”

Nickel sighed, trying to keep his composure. “Listen, it’s just.. it comes with the work, okay?”

“And what is that?”

“Not your business. Just stop prying, please.” Nickel closed his eyes, bringing a hoof to his forehead as he tried to focus. ‘She’ll stop. She’s inquisitive, stupid, easy to play. She’ll just give u—’

“Things never get easier to deal with, Nickel.”

His eyes opened wide as he scurried back along the bench, causing his cloak to slide away and reveal the five aces on his flank. “H-how did you know my name?”

“Why keep running, Nickel? It never solves your problems.” Her eyes were still on the window, unfazed by Nickel’s confusion.

“I’m not running from anything!”

“Then why leave your home? Why leave your friends? Why leave the only ponies you’ve ever cared about?”

“I didn’t leave anypony. They left me first!” Nickel bolted up from his seat, glaring at Silver Lining. “Who are you to come out of nowhere and accuse me of things I never do?!”

Silver Lining remained calm, staring back at the window. “I’m only telling you the truth. You’ve been running every time things go wrong. When Marbles tries to settle down and give up the game. When Crimson Veil tries to play your friendship for profit.” She smiled, “When Dazzle left you when she learned who you really were.”

“They left me!” Nickel shouted, reaching to grab his saddlebags before stepping back. “I didn’t want things like this! They could have all just kept going! Crim could have gone away, Marbles could have stayed by my side!” He tried to fight the quivering of his lips, the tears falling on his cheeks, and the shaking of his legs. “Dazzle... she... she should have—”

“Should have accepted that you lied? Lied to her face. Every. Day.” She looked back at Nickel. “What were you expecting?” She raised a hoof dramatically to her forehead, raising the pitch of her voice. “Oh, Nickel. I forgive you for telling me you were a unicorn, and that you were trying to live your dream, and that you weren’t stealing money from ponies. Of course I’ll still love you.” She stared, emotionless, at Nickel. “Don’t make me laugh...”

Nickel’s nostrils flared as he backed up towards the door to the next car. His body was shaking, a mixture of anger and disbelief. He tripped over his words, and every thought he had was about them. About the ponies he’d left behind, or tried to. “You... you you. You! Just leave me alone!”

“You’re not going to get away by running. If you can’t face the truth, and move on, or deal with it, then it’s not going to solve itself.” Silver Lining gazed back at the window just as the train left the tunnel, sunlight illuminating the car. “They could have forgiven you, if you gave them the chance, but instead you run. What about the next town? Are you going to abandon those friends too?”

“I... I... Just shut up!” ‘She’s just... just toying with me, or Crim sent her. That has to be it.’

“Every cloud has a silver lining, just like every cloud will be something new tomorrow.” She smiled, looking sincere once again as she trotted towards Nickel, who found himself pinned against the door. “Please, Nickel, you can face them, if you try.”

Nickel turned around, pushing the door open and trotting into the next car. Silver Lining didn’t follow him, but he continued to run until he found himself in a sleeper car. He shut several of the small drapes before trapping himself in one of the beds. He tried to put it all behind him, to sleep and forget, and within a few minutes, he was out cold.


It was several hours before Nickel was awoken by a banging against the train wall. He pulled the drape open, greeted by the same pony who had taken his ticket. “Trottingham, son. This is the stop. Time to get off, or get another ticket.”

Nickel looked around the car, expecting to see Silver Lining somewhere, but he was greeted by an empty car. He looked down, quiet for a few moments. With a smile, he looked back up at the conductor.

“How much for a ticket?”

You Can't Go Home Again (Even if You Wanted To)

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The doorbell rang again. "I’m coming, I’m coming," Octavia said, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. "Don’t get your fetlocks in a twist, I’m coming." Despite her calls, the doorbell continued to ring.

"Celestia’s sake, who are you and what’s so impor—" Octavia opened the door. "Oh. Oh, damn it."

There were two ponies on Octavia’s doorstep: a young mare and a filly. The filly smiled broadly. "Hi, Sis! Betcha didn’t expect to see us here!"


Facing away from the table at which her sisters were seated, Octavia cracked eggs into a pan. "So. How’d you find me?"

The filly spoke up eagerly, mumbling through a mouthful of omelette. "Oh, it was easy! Cabochon’s always been great at finding stuff!"

Octavia sprinkled cheese over the eggs. "Yes, she’s always enjoyed poking her nose where it doesn’t belong. And why did you come here?"

The filly opened her mouth again, but Cabochon cut her off. "What, we can’t come visit you? It’s been five years. Perhaps we just missed our sister."

Octavia didn't reply, but she slid the completed omelette onto a plate and passed it to Cabochon. At that moment, Vinyl Scratch walked out of hall leading to their bedroom, yawning and rubbing at her mane with a towel. “Mornin’, Tavi. What’s for breakfast?” She looked up. “And who’re these two?”

“Good morning, Vinyl,” Octavia said. “These are my sisters, Cabochon and Briolette. This is my"—she shook her head in distraction—"my roommate, Vinyl Scratch. We’re having omelettes. Cabochon, please give that plate to Vinyl. I’ll make you another.”

Vinyl waved a hoof. “Keep it, kid. I can wait.” She cozied up against Octavia. “Sooo, you never told me you had sisters. Cute ones.”

Octavia set down her spatula with an audible thump. “Pardon me. I need to talk with Vinyl for a moment.”


Octavia led Vinyl down the hall. As soon as they were out of sight of the dining room table, Octavia shoved Vinyl roughly against the wall. Vinyl grinned. “You sure, Tavi? They’d still probably be able to hear us—”

Octavia put a hoof over Vinyl’s mouth. "Dear, while I usually draw some amusement from your little crudities, now is not the time."

Vinyl nodded. Octavia withdrew her hoof and sighed.

“I’m sorry, Vinyl. It’s just—family issues. I’d prefer it if you didn’t broadcast our relationship.”


Vinyl sat down at the dining room table, and Octavia started on another omelette. As she cooked, she glanced over at the table, at the sisters she hadn't seen for five years. Briolette had just been a foal then, barely able to talk. Now she was making cheerful small talk with Vinyl. Briolette was a dull brown all over, and her cutie mark hadn't appeared yet.

Five years ago, Cabochon had been a rowdy pre-pubescent. Now she was barely younger than Octavia had been when she had left home. Cabochon's mane and coat were the same dull orange, but her cutie mark had appeared in the interim: a magnifying glass. She was quieter than she had been five years ago, as well. While Briolette chatted with Vinyl—something about Canterlot's architecture—Cabochon only watched, and picked at her omelette.

Cabochon looked up and met Octavia's eyes. Octavia fought the urge to turn away, and held her gaze until Cabochon turned back to her food.

In the meantime, though, Vinyl's omelette had burned. Octavia sighed and slid it onto a plate anyway—she could eat that one—and cracked another egg into the pan.


Octavia balanced her and Vinyl's plates on her back. She walked to the table and set the plates down, than sat down herself.

"Cabochon, Briolette, while it's"—Octavia forced out a smile—"lovely to see you, I'm afraid you still haven't told me why you came to visit."

Cabochon blinked slowly, all innocence. Briolette at least had the decency to look embarrassed. Or—Octavia wasn't quite sure what Briolette's expression was. Her face was scrunched up in either embarrassment, sadness, or shame.

After a few moments of silence, Cabochon inclined her head towards Vinyl. "Facet, if your... roommate would leave for a moment, please. Family matters."

Vinyl looked to Octavia. For a few moments, Octavia considered refusing, but decided against it. "Vinyl? If it's okay?" Vinyl nodded, got up, and went down the stairs to their studio.

Vinyl's hoofsteps faded, but Cabochon didn't say anything more. Octavia finally broke the silence. "Why'd you leave?"

No response. "Where are you staying, then?" Octavia asked.

No response. Octavia tried once more. "What's going to happen to the rock farm? Dad can't work it all by himself."

Cabochon finally spoke. "Dad's dead, Facet. We thought you should know."


Octavia got up and went to the liquor cabinet. She took a bottle, carried it back to the table. Uncorked it. Offered a glass to Cabochon, at that moment not caring about age. Cabochon waved off the offer, so Octavia poured herself a glass of wine and sat back down. “The farm?”

“Creditors. Rock production’d been down, it wasn’t worth much anyway.”

“Well.” Octavia swirled her glass around. “You didn’t hunt me down just to tell me the news. Tell me why you’re here, after all this time.”

Cabochon’s face went hard. Another silence. Octavia finished her drink and poured herself another.

Octavia finished her second drink. "Look, Cabochon. You want a place to stay? Fine. I've got a guest room, you can stay there. If you found me, then you've seen the posters and everything. I'm not a rock farmer any more. I make a good living here in Canterlot."

"We don't need your charity, Facet," Cabochon said.

Octavia shook her head. "Just give up, Cab'. Admit you need help. And I'm not Facet anymore. Changed my name. It's Octavia, now. "

"Octavia, then. We do not need your charity, Octavia."

Octavia slammed a hoof on the table. "Of course you do!" she yelled. "You think you two can make it on your own?"

"When you left," Cabochon said coldly, "you were hardly any older than I am now." She stood and tapped Briolette on the shoulder. "I believe our family duties have been discharged. What remains of duty, at least. What remains of family. Let's go, Briolette." Together, they walked to the door.

Octavia opened her mouth to yell again, then slumped back in her seat and looked back into her glass. "Where are you staying?" she asked dully.

Briolette glanced back; Cabochon did not. Cabochon named a motel in one of the grittier parts of Canterlot, and then the pair were gone.


Octavia opened the door to the studio she shared with Vinyl, and winced at the sudden thump of sound. Vinyl was wearing headphones and facing away from the door, so Octavia tapped her on the shoulder.

Vinyl turned the music off. "Hey, Tavi," she said, and waited.

"Hey, Vinyl. Thanks."

"No problem. Family issues, huh? You want to talk?"

Octavia fought the urge to stay silent. "Not really, no. But I should."

Vinyl sat down on the floor and patted the ground next to her. "Sit. Talk."

Octavia sat a little ways away, too far away for Vinyl to touch. Vinyl sighed and moved next to her.

"Tavi, let me rephrase that: Sit. Talk. Cuddle. You look like you could use it."


"I used to be a rock farmer. My dad, my sisters, me. My mother died when Briolette was born. I was ten.

"It was... it wasn't a bad life on the rock farm. Not really bad, just... joyless. Grey. Silent. I couldn't take it. I ran. This'd be... about five years ago, I suppose. I made it to Canterlot. I left my family, my past. I changed my name—Facet to Octavia. A way to cut ties.

"I learned how to play, I worked my way up, I got here. I met you, of course. It's been... it's been lovely. I really love you, Vinyl, you know that?

"I've spent five years ignoring family. And then my sisters come here and interrupt everything.

"My dad died. The farm's gone, apparently. And my sisters... I don't know what's going to happen to them. I don't know what they're going to do."

Vinyl nuzzled against Octavia. "I assume you offered to help. They didn't accept?"

“Cabochon did most of the speaking, but yes. She says they'll be okay. They need help,” Octavia said. “They need help, but they’re too stubborn to ask for it, and too stupid to accept it when I offer.”

Vinyl kissed her gently on the cheek. “Here's a question for you, Octy. Why do you think they need help?"

“They’re kids! They can't manage on their own!"

“Octavia, honey," Vinyl said. “Cabochon is, what, fifteen? You said you left five years ago. You were about her age, weren't you? And you managed to make it on your own. And you've grown into a wonderful mare, all on your own.”

"That’s different,” Octavia said. "And stop with the flattery."

Vinyl chuckled. “Of course it's different. Tavi, you’re strong. Stronger than I know, certainly; probably stronger than you know, too. And stubborn, too.”

“Flattery. Is this going anywhere?”

“I don't know, but... I think your sisters are cut from the same cloth. Or the same gemstone, I suppose. They could do it on their own. They don’t need your help.”

“Yes, they do!”

Vinyl clucked her tongue. “They don’t. They could do it on their own. That Cabochon, she looks like a determined little thing. Cute, too; I'd like to see what she's like in five years.” She laughed and resumed nuzzling against Octavia. “They could do it on their own, but they don’t have to. If you want to help your sisters, that’s how I think you should spin it.” She giggled. “I might not know your sisters, but I know you. And I know how to spin things. Comes from being a DJ.”

Octavia looked over at Vinyl. "It's been five years, Vinyl. You think it's that easy?"

"I don't think it's going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination. I don't think that's going to stop you though, is it? Like I said, stubborn."

Octavia punched Vinyl lightly on the shoulder; Vinyl only laughed. "So are you going to tell them about us? Rock farmers, you said—traditionalists?" Octavia nodded. Vinyl laughed harder. "Oooh, you're living in sin! Going to be a fun explanation there.”

That drew a giggle from Octavia. Vinyl's expression sobered. "You want to talk to them, Octy. You got where they're staying?" Octavia nodded. "Then you should talk. I'll stay here if you want, but... talk. You love them, don't you? Then put that stubbornness to work."

Change

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In the crisp night air, the faint trickling of the square’s central fountain echoed throughout the empty streets. A faint breeze stirred the air, picking up and scattering loose trash as small eddies whirled though the empty space. Above, the clouds stirred as the wind picked up, strong slivers of moonlight acting as spotlights for the dance below. A cruel gale swept down, dispersing the flitting debris and winding its way through every alleyway and side-street.

Trixie shivered as the gale passed over her, the cold easily cutting through her pitiful cloth blanket. The rag was far too small to cover her, and she had resorted to pressing herself against the cold stone of the alleyway in an attempt to keep the harsh wind at bay. A look of panic sudden filled her face as she peered through the gloom, staring at the ground just a pace in front of her. Sitting at the base of the wall, carefully folded and weighed down by a rock, was a matching starry cape and hat. Another gale blew through the city, but Trixie’s focus didn’t waver until it had passed. Seeing that the hat and cape were still secure, she let out a sudden sigh, as if she had been holding her breath.

As long as those two things were safe, she still had some tie to who she was, and some hope for the future. Her thoughts turned inward, choosing to ignore the bitter cold reality in favor of the warmth of the past. Years on the road, working her way up from a mere street performer to somepony with a beautiful wagon and dedicated fans of her very own. All of that, years of hard effort, destroyed in a single instant by the fat paw of an Ursa Minor. Trixie bit her lip, fighting back tears. She knew she was better than that, but the beginnings of tears still burned in the cold. That trip to Ponyville had been a terrible mistake. She had heard rumors that the whole town was quite impoverished and hadn’t really expected to make much of a profit. All she had wanted was to spread her fame a bit farther, to get her name out there in the world. Everything she had worked for, gone, ruined by those stupid ponies.

The spark of her anger restored some warmth to her chilled frame. They way they looked at her after that purple unicorn stopped the Ursa Minor had made her blood run cold. She could see the hate and contempt in their eyes ? they all blamed her for bringing that beast into their town and letting it rampage, even though it was those two idiotic colts who intentionally provoked it and lead it into town. To top it off, that unicorn had the nerve to rub her success in Trixie’s face, smug in the knowledge that she had saved the day. Trixie shuddered, wondering what would have happened if she hadn’t left town as quickly as she had. In such a backwards town as that, they probably would have lynched her on the spot. They would have turned on her with just one word from that unicorn, without a doubt.

But that wasn’t the worst of it, not by a long shot. Trixie grit her teeth as the memory came back to her. The real insult was when she had returned for her belongings the following night, when she was sure everypony was asleep. They had thrown out everything, just gotten rid of it. Her wagon, her personal items, everything she had ever worked for or cared about, treated like common filth and disposed of. She could never forgive them for that cruelty. It was a small miracle that she had found her cape and hat in a wastebin behind town hall, her emergency bit supply. Years of living on the road had taught her to never be without some bits close at hoof. For the dozenth time, she found herself counting all the large stars on the hat and cape, and the hundred bit pieces she knew were sewed behind each and every one.

She was so close to being able to purchase a new wagon, to starting a new life. The local dealer here in Canterlot was willing to sell her a smaller wagon for an excellent price, provided she could pay for the entire thing up-front. If she could make just twenty more bits then she could travel safely and start her rounds again, giving full shows on a proper stage to ponies who could appreciate her show-stopping ability. Trixie gasped, brought back to the present by a fierce gale that nearly ripped the blanket off her and banished what warmth her anger had brought.

Trixie tried to pull herself even smaller, as if she could suddenly fit beneath such a meager blanket. The cold had sapped her of her strength and sleep clouded her mind. Trixie tried to fight it, knowing the danger the sleep promised, but she was too tired and cold to resist anymore. Tucking her head beneath a hoof, she allowed herself to give in to the smothering fog of sleep. Trixie may have started out as a street urchin, she thought hazily, but Trixie refuse to die like one. She will see the light of the sun in the morning... she will...


The chirping of birds floated through the red dawn, songs of joy at the beginning of a new day. Trixie could dimly sense that something was wrong, that something needed to be taken care of, but her mind was dull and slow. With a sharp intake of breath, she tried to leap to her hooves, but her body couldn’t manage more then a feeble twitch. Panic quickly set in, driving the remaining fog from her mind. Something was terribly wrong and she needed to get moving immediately. Summoning as much concentration as she could muster, Trixie used her magic to levitate anything loose she could find nearby and started rubbing them on her body, trying to restore feeling and warmth. The pain came almost immediately, nearly causing her to break off the spell. Her body felt like it was on fire, and the items rubbing against her flank were burning coals.

By that time she had recognized the symptoms of hypothermia and continued, trying to coax her blood to flow freely again. After several minutes of nauseating fear and pain, Trixie was ready to try moving again. Using the wall for support, she hesitantly climbed to her hooves, her body shaking and creaking with every movement. It felt like a monumental effort, just standing up, but Trixie knew it was ultimately her victory. Not this time, she thought to herself, The Great and Powerful Trixie can’t die from just being a bit cold. Leaning against the wall, Trixie took stock of herself. Everything seemed to be okay, despite the burning sensation. Taking a hesitant step forward, Trixie knocked the rock off her beloved hat and cape and levitated them besides her.

Seeing that they were unharmed, and every star safe and sound, Trixie smiled weakly before stumbling forwards. “Look at yourself, Trixie... weak as a newborn foal,” she muttered to herself, trying to banish the darker thoughts from her mind. Hobbling, her legs still stiff from the cold, she made her way to the central fountain. The streets were empty ? it was far to early for normal ponies to be up and about. Slumping against the fountains lip, Trixie took a moment to look at herself in the water.

Her coat was filthy. After sleeping on the street and rubbing trash all over herself, she had to try not to gag at the color of her lovely coat. Trixie bit her lip. In her kind of business, appearances were everything. No one would give her the time of day, let alone bits, if she didn’t look her absolute best. She wanted their bits, not their pity. They would see her as some filthy homeless pony, not the great, powerful, amazing unicorn that she was.

She looked at the water in the fountain, shining bright and clear in the sun’s light. Trixie grimaced, her decision made. She wouldn’t have them look at her like that, not with those eyes. With an unsteady sweep of her horn, she gathered up a large glob of water with her magic and braced herself.

When the water hit, it was like somepony had bucked her right in the chest. The cold water seared her still weak limbs, but she didn’t make a sound, just bit her lip and continued pouring the ice water on herself. “There, see Trixie? That wasn’t so bad. You’re strong, you can do this, no problem,” she said softly, consoling herself as she used her blanket to try and towel off, whimpering slightly as every breeze brought the chill deeper into her bones. With a quick check of her flanks, Trixie donned her cape and hat, and started trotting in slow laps around the fountain.

It burned to air-dry in such chilly weather, but Trixie knew that moving would make ease the pain, even if she felt so weak at the moment. As she made her rounds, she inspected the square, scouting performance spots. No... that alleyway is no good, she thought. Too hidden from the rest of the square. Can’t set up in front of a shop either, the owners will chase me away. Her body warming up from the exercise, Trixie picked up the pace, still scouting. The best spot would be near one of the high-class shops, but not too close. Trixie just need to get a bit lucky.

A pained look cut across Trixie’s face, interrupting her thoughts. Ah... Trixie hasn’t eaten in days, has she? Well, too bad. Trixie has been through worse, she can do this, Trixie thought, grimacing. She had been able to slip into orchards at night to eat while she had been traveling, but the city was an entirely different matter. Trixie eased herself to her haunches, sitting in what she considered to be the most visible portion of the square. “Well Trixie, this is it.” she said to herself, “It looks like here at the fountain is the best bet. Now to wait for an audience.”


The square was teeming with life, the population of Canterlot flowing through and around the various shops and carts. Trixie smirked, conjuring another shower of sparks. This was her element, her domain. The throng of the crowd, the eyes of the audience, all of them made her feel at home. It had been several hours, and although ponies were being even more stingy than usual, she had made a grand total of seven bits that morning.

Trixie finished off the display with a deep bow and passed her hat around to the small crowed, smiling. Almost all of the ponies walked off without a word, and the remainder just looked at her like she was crazy. Not that it mattered. Trixie was a showmare first and foremost and was quite used to an audience that was unwilling to actually pay. Trixie’s smile barely changed as she took the hat back, empty despite its rounds. Ungrateful sods, they wouldn’t know a? Trixie stopped mid-thought. She didn’t have time to stand there and complain about a cheap crowed, not when there were more ponies to perform for. With another deep bow, Trixie started her routine again for the already gathering audience.

It was around midday when they came back. There was a lull in the crowed as ponies stopped to eat lunch, and Trixie was taking a break beside the fountain when she first noticed the table being setup. “Them again?” she muttered, trying to watch them out of her peripheral vision. Several ponies were setting up a series of tables in one corner of the square with remarkable speed. It wasn’t long before a massive line formed, trailing off into one of the side alleys. Trixie eyed the gathering crowed of dirty and ragged ponies with contempt. What fools, she thought. Going to those smug Equestrian Relief Society ponies for help... how weak.

The ERS had set up shop in the square every day at about the same time since Trixe had first arrived in Canterlot. From what she could tell, the process was quite simple: all a pony had to do was sign their name on a list, and the ERS gave them a ticket for food and cheap shelter. The ERS claimed that the name list was solely for record-keeping purposes and that their services were absolutely free, but Trixie knew that was an absolute lie. What they took from you, in exchange for that little ticket, was your dignity as a pony. No matter what you did, who you became or where you went, that list would always exist ? there would always be a record that you let someone pity you. Trixie couldn’t help but sneer at the line of homeless and downtrodden ponies.

She could see the defeat in the eyes of all those in line. None of them could so much as look up, they just shuffled forwards to get their next meal and bed. How pathetic, she thought. They don’t even have the will to live anymore... they just exist be pitied. Trixie will never stoop so low. Trixie stopped, sensing somepony staring at her.

It was that same ERS stallion as before. Over the past few days, she had noticed him watching her more and more, watching her performances no matter where she was in the square. She stared at him, her eyes meeting his for just a moment before he gave her a friendly wave.

Trixie turned sharply and looked away. She had seen it in his eyes for sure. Pity. It made her sick to think that somepony thought they were better than her, so much better that they could look down on her like that. Trixie tried to push the thought out of her mind ? lunch time was over, and the crowed was back in full force. With a strained smile on her face, Trixie rose to her hooves and started improvising a new routine.

Hours passed and the audience became a blur, ponies melting into ponies. Trixie was starting to feel lightheaded from the lack of sleep and food, but she couldn’t stop. She had gotten lucky with a small family and had made another three bits. The thought of being halfway done filled her with hope, and her displays and tricks became grander and more daring. Through all of it, though, she could still feel that one stalion watching her, his eyes following every trick as he took down names. Trixie did her best to ignore him, throwing herself into her art.

It wasn’t until she had finished another light display that she noticed him in the audience, watching her as usual. As the other ponies dispersed, unwilling to pay for the show, Trixie could feel him standing there, waiting. Trixie was just about to begin another routine when he spoke, his quiet voice breaking her concentration.

“Hello there! My name’s Freely, what’s yours?” He said with a smile.

“Hello, Freely,” she replied curtly.

“I... uh... I like your show,” he stuttered, seemingly unsure of how to continue.

Trixie couldn’t help but smile at the stallion’s attempts at small talk. So you’ve come over here to pity Trixie in person, huh? Trixie thinks you’ll find it quite impossible.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been performing here on the street for a few days now, and well...” he continued, pausing to regaining his confidence, “You don’t seem to be eating. Or going home. Uh... anyways, if you want something to eat or need a place to stay, it’ll only take a moment. We just need your name, that’s all.”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Trixie said, turning away from the pony. She was content to stand there and ignore him until he left. Nothing was worth signing that list, nothing. Trixie watched the stallion out of the corner of her eye, only turning around once she was sure he had returned to his post. That’ll teach him, she thought, smiling as she started a new trick. Nopony pities The Great and Powerful Trixie.

The hours and tricks blended together, until Trixie lost all track of time. It was probably around late afternoon, judging by how the crowd had dispersed. The day was over and she still needed ten more bits before she could afford the wagon. Trixie tried to hide her disappointment and fear. No wagon meant another night sleeping on the streets, another night of that freezing cold and near death. Trixie’s knees buckled, all of her weariness crashing down on her at once. She was bitterly grinding her hoof against the cobble when she heard that voice again.

“Hey there... Look, maybe we got off on the wrong start,” Freely said, smiling down at her.

Trixie just looked at him with as much contempt and dignity as she could muster.

“Here, take this, no sign-up required,” he said, taking an apple out of his saddlebags and placing it on the ground before her.

At the sight of the apple, Trixie started salivating almost uncontrollably, her stomach growling, begging for food. None of that mattered to her. “I don’t want it,” she said, barely suppressing the desire to eat the apple right off the ground.

Freely looked at her for a moment, and then the apple. “Would you like some bits instead? I have a few to spare, if you don’t like apples,” he said, turning to his saddlebags again.

“I don’t want your money either.”

Freely stopped reaching for his bag and stared at her. She could feel his searching eyes, see him pitying her. Their eyes met.

“How about this,” he said suddenly, breaking eye contact. “You’re good at magic, right? I’ll just turn my back, and if that apple were to disappear, then who would know?” He gave her a knowing smile before turning away.

Trixie looked at him for a moment, slack-jawed, before the rage came over her in waves. First he dares to pity Trixie, she thought, leaping to her hooves, Now he dares patronize Trixie as well? Well, Trixie will show him! Nopony makes a fool out of The Great and Powerful Trixie, nopony pities The Great and Powerful Trixie! The apple floated before her eyes, gripped tightly in a levitation spell.

“Oh, I’ll make it disappear alright,” she said before hurtling the apple with all her might over his shoulder, making sure that he saw it fly off into the distance. “There, the apple is gone... Tada,” she added sarcastically, her voice oozing venom.

Freely turned to face her with an odd look. “Well, that’s one way to make something disappear, isn’t it? Here you are,” he said, tossing a coin into her hat.

“I told you, I don’t want your pity!” Trixie screamed before quickly clamping her hooves over her mouth.

“Pity? What pity?” Freely said with a smile. “You just performed a trick for me, didn’t you? I just gave you a tip like any other pony would... So, what’s your name?”

Trixie swept up her hat, not even bothering to look inside, and gave him a cold stare. “The Great and Powerful Trixie,” she replied, before dashing off into the crowed, not stopping until she was sure that he couldn’t have followed her. Almost instinctively, she placed her hat on her head, jumping a bit when the cold metal of a coin thumped against her mane.

Removing her hat, she inspected the coin, a small smile on her face.

It was a twenty bit piece.

Trixie let out a little laugh. “The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn’t accept charity,” she whispered to herself, levitating the rest of her days earnings out of that hat.

“At most, making that apple disappear was a ten bit trick,” she said, dumping all the other coins she had earned that day onto the alleyway cobbles. “Keep the change, Equestria. The Great and Powerful Trixie has a wagon to buy.”

VOTING

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http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/GCVM9KD

Don't forget to check back to see who the winners are.

Results

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First up, the authors revealed! http://i.imgur.com/H1QDw.png

Now, ze awards:

Top 5

Gold Medal
Pipsqueak the Valiant's Adventure Journal! by Casca (7.16)

Silver Medal
Home for the Holidays by Silverquill (7.06)

Bronze Medal
Change by The Great and Powerful!Trixie (6.94)

Copper Medallions
Dash’s Date with Destiny by theworstwriter (6.90)
Celestia’s Favorite Punishment by Nemo (6.67)

Top 10

Murky Medallions
All Aboard by Squeak (6.58)
Granny Cranberry by CartoonGeld (6.33)
Business As Usual by RogerDodger (6.00)
A Weekend At Fluttershy's by Timefly (5.73)
Arrivals and Departures by Flashgen (5.56)

Top 20

Participation Certificate
Burning With Desire by DashAnon (5.45)
P0n3 by <Warden> (5.37)
You Can't Go Home Again (Even if You Wanted To) by 108Echoes (5.32)
Broken Links by Simon o`Sullivan (5.00)
First Impressions by Ezn (5.00)
VIVA LE BLACK HOLE by ElementOfNaivety (4.20)
My Journey Through Time by Viatrix (4.05)
Trixie's Grand Finale by Cainiam (4.00)
Marauders Run by Slow Chance (3.56)

Full breakdown of votes: http://i.imgur.com/DHj5z.png

Giant spreadsheet full o’ numbers and graphs n’ stuff: http://tiny.cc/sr0pm

Now for the esoteric awards:

Someone-Drooled-over-Your-Story
Change (4)
A Weekend At Fluttershy's (3)
Celestia's Favorite Punishment (3)
All Aboard (3)
VIVA LE BLACK HOLE (2)
You Can't Go Home Again (Even if You Wanted To) (2)
Pipsqueak the Valiant's Adventure Journal! (2)
Business As Usual (2)
My Journey Through Time (1)
Marauders Run (1)
Granny Cranberry (1)
Home for the Holidays (1)
Dash's Date with Destiny (1)
P0n3 (1)

Someone-Wants-to-Send-Your-Story-to-the-Moon
My Journey Through Time (3)
VIVA LE BLACK HOLE (3)
Marauders Run (3)
Trixie's Grand Finale (2)
You Can't Go Home Again (Even if You Wanted To) (2)
Granny Cranberry (1)
First Impressions (1)

I extend again a congratulations to everyone who participated, no matter how well you performed!

Now for the graphs (everybody likes graphs):
• Story Views Against Word Count: http://i.imgur.com/nWlA5.png
• Word Count Against Rating: http://i.imgur.com/8iVix.png
• Story Views Against Rating: http://i.imgur.com/gtIdX.png

Story listing: I thought it might be worth noting the views on each story based on its position in the list as posted on Fimfiction: http://i.imgur.com/laoWB.png. These were dictated by the time of submission (with my own thrown in by a random number generator). As expected, the first stories got a fair few extra views than the rest.

Again, thank you all—voters, submitters, spectators, hecklers, etc.—for your participation in making this a great success!