What do you do when you cannot let go of the one you love? Spikes unrequited feelings for Rarity are tearing him apart.
Love. It is the most powerful force in existence. It has survived eons, and lived throughout the most horrid of times. Love drives individuals to great lengths, so what happens when the one you love does not love you back? What do you do when you cannot let go of the one you love?
Spike's unrequited love for Rarity is on the verge of shattering his heart.
This is my very first fanfic, ever. Please, if you favorite this, please leave a comment saying what you liked about it. If you do not like this, please, leave a comment saying what you did not like about it. Feedback is essential for me to improve my writing.
Love. What is Love? Some ponies think it is an emotion. Some think that it is a thought. In all reality, Love is a commitment. It is far more complex and meaningful than just a common emotion; it is the most powerful force in existence. Kingdoms and empires all fall to the ravages of time, and even Dragons and Alicorns cannot escape its grasp. However, Love has outlasted time and it always will. Love was there in the beginning, before time ever existed. This is a story about Love, and the effects that it had on three individuals; two ponies, and a dragon. The Love that bound them together, tested their hearts, and ultimately forced them to make the choice between life and death. _____________________________________________________________________________
For once, there were no outlandish performers, no giant, three headed dogs running through town, no cute but devastating bugs to deal with. It was actually a wonderfully relaxing and peaceful day in Ponyville. Applejack’s shouts of “Apples! Get your apples here! Three apples for two bits!” could be heard from one end of the marketplace to the other. Fluttershy was at her cottage, doing her best to give Angel bunny a bath, which he fought every step of the way. Pinkie Pie was at Sugarcube Corner, attempting to bake what she had long dreamed of: a CakePie. It was an ambitious creation, one that only Pinkie Pie, with her zany Pinkie Powers, would have ever tried. Rainbow Dash was taking one of her many naps in the fluffy clouds drifting above Ponyville.Twilight Sparkle was at Froggy Bottom Bog, researching various types of frogs and their subspecies It was indeed a very relaxing day for the citizens of Ponyville. At least, for all but two of them. ______________________________________________________________________________
Rarity stood in her workshop, on Carousel Boutique’s upper floor, a piece of blank paper in front of her. She stared at it, hoping for inspiration to strike. “Oh, what's the use? I've been standing here forever, with nothing to show for it! I haven’t had any new fashion ideas for weeks! What is my problem!?” Rarity let out a very unladylike shriek of frustration, sending the paper flying with a swipe of her hoof.
She slumped in a corner, tears pouring down her face. Her gaze swept the room. Her eyes locked onto a certain picture; one of her and Spike. Spike was standing beside Rarity, wearing a sheepish grin on his face, while Rarity, wearing the Fire Ruby that Spike had given her, nuzzled him.
“No Rarity, you promised yourself you would not think of that.” Obligingly, her thoughts immediately turned to the dragon. Rarity thought back to the Diamond Dog incident. I was a fool. He did his best to save me, and all I did was patronize him, giving him a treat, like he was no better than Opal!All those times he helped me in my shop, all I did was take advantage of him. I used him as a pincushion, and didn’t think twice about doing so. Hertears started to flow afresh at the thought.
Even when he gave me his Fire Ruby, all I thought of was myself. I just toyed withhis heart. I am supposed to represent Generosity, yet... Rarity just sat there, the guilt eating away at her like a river buffeting a stone. Her thoughts eventually turned to more recent events, to the one that was the catalyst of her present state of affairs. ______________________________________________________________________________
The one that stuck with her the most was a unicorn by the name of Shimmering Sight. He had been visiting Ponyville from Canterlot and he had come in search of a specific book. Rarity just happened to be there when Shimmering Sight walked through the door of the library. He promptly forgot all about the book and proceeded to stay in Ponyville in an attempt to get to know Rarity, and in the hope of making her his marefriend.
Things started off as well as could be expected between the two. Shimmy, as Rarity called him, was, for a time, the perfect gentlestallion. He was everything that Rarity thought she wanted in a stallionfriend; he was articulate, classy, and most importantly, he had an eye for fashion. Rarity truly thought that Shimmers was the one for her. He made sure that she was happy and content, and she in turn did the same for him.
But it was not long before tension arose between the two. Hoity Toity had requested a new fashion line from Rarity, and because of that she had many orders to take care of. She had to cancel several dates with Shimmy due to her workload. He tolerated this in the beginning, but as time went on, and Rarity became more and more involved in her work, his patience eventually wore thin.
One night, she invited him to the Boutique for a special surprise. She had been working on a gift, a truly marvelous suit for him. But the night didn't go so well; it was the night of the first and final fight they had. “Oh I just know that Shimmy will absolutely love this.” She took a step back to admire her work. “I know that he has been upset that I have been so busy. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees this.” Rarity was so excited that she began hopping up and down.
Shimmy walked in just as Rarity stopped bouncing. Rarity, hearing him come in, turned around with a starry smile on her face. “What do you think, Shimmy?” she beamed. Shimmer took half a glance at the suit, rolled his eyes and sighed.
“What I think Rarity,” he replied, exasperation in his voice, “is that enough is enough. I can appreciate the fact that you are busy with your work, but this... this is too much. You work on stuff like this..." He waved a hoof at the suit. "...even when you don’t have to. I’m sorry Rarity, but I can’t be with a mare that thinks only of herself and her work.”
Her mouth fell open in shock. She had thought for sure that he would appreciate the gift. She had labored on it for hours and hours, just for him, and yet he still claimed selfishness on her part? It was almost beyond comprehension. She tried to say something, anything, but the words she tried to form were lost, trapped behind a lump in her throat. "And what of those other five friends of yours?" Shimmering continued. "You've been spending most of your free time with them! Do I even exist?"
She blushed out of guilt. She had indeed been spending more time with her other friends than she had with Shimmy, but almost all of it was prior appointments. "Shimm--"
"Who is more important to you, Rarity? The country bumpkins you've chosen to associate with, or the Canterlot socialite who took pity on your situation? Without me, you have no connections whatsoever to recommend you!"
Her eyes moistened as she listened to his diatribe, but her pain quickly channeled into anger. "No connections?" she scoffed. "Fancy Pants is one of my friends! Jet Set and Upper Crust counted me as one of their own! I even have a direct line to the Princess herself; I send her letters biweekly! Who are you to say that I have no connections?"
He opened his mouth, but she cut him off, just as he had done. "And another thing, Shimmering Sight: I've been neglecting my friends, and my work to make you this suit. I thought you would like it, I thought it would prove to you that I do care, but you obviously don't have the faculties to know sentiment when you see it!"
"Are you calling me dense?" Shimmering growled.
"If the shoe fits, might as well nail it on."
In a fit of rage, Shimmering's true colors came to the fore. "You insolent wench!" he bellowed, eyes wide and nostrils flared. "How dare you insult me like this!" He drew back a hoof to strike her, and she cowered, shielding her face.
"Don't touch her!" roared a heavy voice. She opened her eyes and saw Spike standing between Shimmering and herself, ready and willing to take whatever force was directed at his friend. Smoke billowed from his nostrils, his eyes flashed a deep ruby red, and his shoulders rose calmly up and down with his breath.
Where did he come from? she reeled. But it didn't matter much compared to the relief that his presence brought. Shimmering's expression changed. He had showcased the fury of an enraged minotaur, but with this new challenger, there was nothing he could do without risking life and limb. Slowly but surely, glaring death at Spike the whole time, he put his hoof down and, without a word he left the room.
“Rarity, are you okay?” Spike looked at her with a look that was nigh indescribable, filled with compassion, yet brimming with suffering and heartache. All Rarity could do was sit there, shock and disbelief plastered on her face. “
It’s okay Rarity. I’m here.” Spike wrapped his arms around her in a gentle hug. Rarity, coming to her senses, started to weep, burying her face into Spike’s body. Spike simply stood there humming a soft tune. ______________________________________________________________________________
What a fool I have been. Time and time again, I had stallions come to me, wanting to court me. And each and every time, those stallions broke my heart, and Spike was there to pick up the pieces. Like the fool that I am, I never learned my lesson. Each time they left me, Spike was there for me, and each time, I refused to heed what my heart was telling me. I have treated Spike in the same callous manner that those stallions treated me. What a despicable creature I am...
Spike had grown quite large in the last ten years. His once soft spikes were now razor sharp, and his claws were strong enough to pierce a manticore’s hide. His flame was hot enough to reduce steel to a bubbling puddle in mere seconds. But while he had grown nigh impervious to any physical assault, his heart was an entirely different matter.
Because if you don’t, how else are you going to get her to love you back?
That is the stupidest reason I have heard. That one makes your last reason look smart, and you know how I felt about that one.
The fact that you would have made Rarity happy was not a stupid reason, and you know it.
Look, I’m tired of arguing with you. That is the only reason that I am doing this.
Tired of arguing with me? I AM you.
Oh, shut up already. You're giving me a headache.
Just knock on the door and I’ll go away.
Spike looked up at the door in front of him and sighed.
“Surprise surprise. Rarity wants me for something, how shocking. It seems to be all she has to do with me lately. It is never ‘Hey Spike, how are you doing?’ or ‘Would you like to go to dinner with me?’”
Spike rolled his eyes, an extremely impatient look on his face. He stared at the door, the door that he had gone in and out of more than that of his own home. He stared at it for a few minutes, sighed, put on his emotional armor, and knocked on Carousel Boutique’s front door.
********************
Rarity was in her room, preparing for Spike’s visit.
Oh, I hope Spike comes over! I asked Twilight to send him over. I really need to talk to him. Rarity paced back and forth in front of her full size mirror, anxiety coloring her features. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, checking to see if her mane was just right. I need to look my best, no matter what. I can’t be looking like a slob. That would be very unladylike. Rarity jumped a little at the sound of knocking on her front door. Knock, knock, knock. She turned, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
********************
The door opened, and there she was, standing just beyond the threshold, was the very center of Spike’s desires, Rarity. Oh, how he loved her! Her beauty was beyond compare, as far as Spike was concerned. His heart hurt, just like it did every time he looked at her. He hurt because, when he looked at her, he saw somepony that he was sure that would never be his.
Why did I have to fall for somepony like her? Somepony that will never look at me as more than a friend. No, you can’t think like that! She will be mine, someday... He looked at her more closely. On further inspection, she looked just as hurt and confused as he felt. Is it possible? Is she just as lost as I feel?
********************
Rarity looked up at Spike. It was weird for her to have to look up at him, when she had looked down at him for so long. He had gone through his first growth spurt just a little over four years ago, and he now stood almost twice as tall as Big Macintosh. He really has grown. He is no longer a child anymore. How do I do this, and it not make things more complicated than what they already are?
How about you just be honest with yourself and him? whispered a voice in the back of her mind.
What, tell him that I realized that I never truly appreciated him? That even after he saved me more than once from brutes, that I just took him for granted? Yeah, that really sounds wonderful.
Or you could just go on doing what you have always done. Not allowing yourself to be open with how you feel. Because that seems to work so well for you, the voice in the back of her mind said sarcastically.
Oh, do be quiet. I will handle this my way, without any help from some voice who thinks they know better than me.
“Rarity?”
I am you, darling. I am everything that you don’t want to hear and don’t want to see. I embody the truth that you push away everyday. Now, you will not push me away anymore, because I have things to say that you need to hear, and WILL listen to, said the voice in a smug tone.
“Hellooooo?”
Rarity’s head snapped up. She had not noticed that she had zoned out.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, sorry Spike. I have been...distracted as of late. Please, do come in.” Rarity backed up, and opened the door wider so that Spike could get inside. __________________________________________________________________________
They both went into the living and sat down on the couch, neither one of them wanting to start the conversation. After about five minutes of awkward silence, Rarity thinking to herself how she would broach the topic she wanted to bring up, and Spike trying to keep his emotions under control, Spike finally turned in his seat and said “So, Twilight told me that you wanted to see me?
Rarity perked up at this. “Yes, I did want to see you. You see Spike, I came to a realization yesterday. I know that I haven’t always been... the most generous pony, when it comes to you. That being said, I wanted to talk to you about my less than fabulous attitude towards you.
You see Spike, I knew that you had a crush on me from the very start. I just never put any real thought into what that meant for you. And for that, you have my deepest apologies. I was, and am, used to ponies falling head over hooves for me, so when you did, I just brushed it off as a typical reaction. I am much more than just my good looks and business acumen, yet most ponies don’t see past the surface when it comes to me. However, you are the one individual that saw past the surface, besides our friends. You saw me for me, and I had no idea how to handle that, and frankly, I still don’t.”
Spike looked calm and collected on the outside, but his mind and heart were in an uproar. What does this mean? Does this mean that I have a chance with her? That she finally has recognized that I truly care about her?
Don’t be so hopeful. This could just be her way of apologizing, without it actually meaning anything. She has done this sort of thing before.
Never like this though. She has never been this... well, unguarded in front of me. I can tell she is being genuine. The sound of Rarity’s voice shook him from his inner monologue.
“But, and this is really hard for me to say, I cannot reciprocate your feelings."
Turmoil went crashing through Spike’s system at an alarming speed as Rarity’s words dropped on him like a sledgehammer.
You know this isn’t the end of the world right?
.................It’s over.
Hm?
It’s over. My purpose in life is over. What do I have to live for now that the one I love does not love me in the same way?
Give her a chance to explain.
Give her a chance?! I gave her a big enough chance coming over here in the first place! How could you expect me to do that again? What possible reason could you give me to trust her again?!
...........Because you love her, and you and I both know that you cannot do anything else. It goes against your nature, and great love such as yours is incapable of doing anything else but persevering.
Look at him. He is crushed. What have I done? This is the worst possible thing ever!
You told him the truth, that is what you have done. The truth is never easy to hear, and even harder to speak, but it is for the good of all involved if the truth is spoken.
The truth. What could you possibly know about the truth? The truth is he probably hates me now.
I know quite a lot about truth, and so do you. You know that this is the kindest service you could have done. Speaking of truth, it is about time he was told the truth behind your actions, both today, and the last ten years!
How can I tell him that, without building his hopes up again? If I tell him how I feel, that will only get him thinking that he has a chance with me.
Are you saying he does not?
Well...no, but that does not mean I want to rush into anything either. That will only hurt both of us in the long run, and I owe it to both myself and Spike that I do this the right way.
You have a lot of work to do, but you have just taken the greatest step in the right direction. A relationship has to be built on truth and communication, and you have shown that you are more than able to use both. Now, I believe you have kept your dragon waiting long enough. Not very ladylike to keep your dragon waiting, hmmmm?
“Spike?”
“Yes Rarity?”
“Would you be willing to listen to me, while I try to explain some things?”
“.....Sure.”
“I want to explain why I never took your feelings for me to heart, and ultimately took you and what you have done for me for granted.”
Spike’s face twisted at those words. “So, you admit that everything I did, and the love that I had for you, and still do, you just took that all and just used me?!
Rarity cringed a little. Remember, truth and communication.
“Yes, and you have my deepest apologies. I haven’t been honest with you, and I am just now understanding how much I have hurt you.”
Spike’s face twisted even more. “You think you know how much you hurt me? You don’t have a clue. How could you possibly know how I feel? After I saved you from Shimmering Sight, I was sure that you would see just how much I cared for you. But no, from there, you got with somepony that stole from you, almost causing you to lose your shop. After that, it was another stallion that was cheating on you with FIVE other mares. Who was there, each and every time, to pick up the pieces of your heart? ME! It was always me that you turned to. Me, who was always there to help you. Me, who never once hurt you. And you have the gall to sit there and tell me you understand how I feel!? How could you, when you have never been treated in this way?
Rarity sighed. This isn’t going to be easy.
“Spike, I DO understand. All those stallions? The way they treated me, is the same way that I treated you. That is why I can understand how you feel.”
Spike sighed and rubbed his temples with his claws.“So, let me get this straight. You say you can understand how I feel, simply because you were treated badly in your relationships?” “Yes.”
“That is a bunch of crap, and you know it.” Spike glared at Rarity.
“I have loved you since the day that I first saw you. At first, it was simply a physical attraction. But as I spent more and more of my time with you, my crush bloomed into real love. Not love as those stallions claimed to have for you, but love that saw you for you, the good and the bad.” Spike said, looking into her blue eyes. “I saw how creative and perceptive you are, as well as how caring you are. As much as you like high society, you are different from the snobs in Canterlot. You truly see ponies for who they are, and that is why I love you as much as I do. You see things for what they are, no matter who or what.” He looked away slightly, claw clenching. “Yet, and YET, you seem to have failed in that with me. Do not sit there and compare the shallowness of the so called feelings that you had for those stallions to the love I have for you. You really have no clue, and the only thing keeping me here is the fact that I love you. And lets not forget, you just told me that you cannot return my feelings. What in the name of Celestia is up with that?!”
“Spike, right there is the reason that I cannot return your feelings. I have hurt you, badly. Do you honestly think that the best thing for either of us would be to rush right into a committed relationship, when neither of us are in a position to be in a healthy one? That is the mistake I made time and time again with the stallions I was with. They were not good for me, but I wanted to be with them anyways.” She looked down at her hooves. “I do not want to make the same mistake with you. I need to take the time to learn what it means to be in a healthy relationship, and you need to make sure that I am truly the one you want to be with be with. I love you Spike, so I want to make sure that we are both ready when, and if, we are ever together.”
“Okay, I get that. But that does not explain why you never took me and what I feel for you seriously.”
Rarity hesitated. “Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what? ME?!” Spike’s eyes widened at this, smoke starting to come out of his nostrils.
“Not you Spike. Never you. You are the kindest, and the most gentle individual I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. What I was afraid of was what your love represented.”
“Which is?”
Rarity leaned forward and put of hoof on Spike’s arm. “Truth. Sincerity. Genuine attraction. I have never known these things before, and I did not know how to respond to them, so I treated you, and your love like it was something other than what it is. And for that Spike, I am so very sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”
“Y’know, I can see why you said that it would be best to wait. I honestly don’t know I feel right now. I do forgive you Rarity, but you are right. We both need time, time to heal and to grow. That being said, where does that leave us now?”
“Well, at the starting point. We both have things we need to learn, and now it is up to us to learn them. I love you Spike. Please, know that much.”
Spike smiled a small, yet genuine smile at Rarity. “Had you told me that yesterday, I would never have believed you. After all this though, I can readily accept that. I love you too Rarity.”
The two of them leaned forward and shared a small hug. Spike got up, walked to the door, turned, and said “Rarity? Thank you.”
“Thank you too Spike, for listening to me, and for forgiving me.”
“See ya later?”
“Most certainly.”
Spike walked out the door, his heart much lighter than it had been in years.
Twilight was sitting in her library, waiting for Spike to return. “I better get the tissues ready. Poor Spike...”
“I really hope that Rarity lets him down gently.” Twilight got up from where she had been sitting and began pacing around the library. “Well, this is Rarity; she will be sure to handle it in a ‘Ladylike Fashion’ as she would say. Still though, the way that Spike has been lately, I can’t see him being too calm, no matter what she does.” Twilight gave a nervous little laugh. “Oh, what am I thinking? There is no chance that Rarity would ever seriously consider being with Spike like that. In fact, I would give up my books for a week if that actually did happen.” She finished saying this just as Spike walked in the door.
“What was that, Oh Brainy One? I could have sworn you were having doubts about Rarity dating me?” Spike accused, anger flaring in his eyes. “My best friend, someone I’ve looked up to for years, spends her time being sarcastic about my feelings behind my back.”
Twilight’s eyes, however, were wide with shock. She knew she had hurt him, and from the angry look in his eyes, she had hurt him badly.
Spike stood with his arms crossed, an angry and hurt expression on his face. “Y’know, I was coming over here all happy, thinking that you were the first one that I wanted to tell my good news, thinking how excited I was to tell you what me and Rarity talked about, and what do I come home to? You, mocking the very thing that I was looking forward to telling you about.” Spike snorted in anger, smoke and flame emitting from his nostrils.
Twilight's face went from being in shock, to being mortified. One thought flashed through her mind:
DAMAGE CONTROL!
“Spike, I’m so sorry. You know how I get sometimes when I start over-analyzing things. My brain speaks on it's own sometimes when I get like that. I am so, so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?” Twilight got down on her knees, a pleading look on her face. “Please Please Please Please?”
Spike just stood there, arms crossed, and eyes narrowed.
Twilight inched forward, until she was at Spike’s feet. Placing her hooves on Spike’s feet she begged, “Please? I will never say anything like that again. I promise.”
At this, Spike burst out laughing. He laughed so hard tears rolled down his face, and he leaned on Twilight’s back for support. Spike continued to laugh, holding his sides with his claws. This continued for awhile, until his laughter devolved into giggling. He stood up, wiped the tears from his eyes, and looked down at Twilight, for whom all brain function seemed to have have shut down. Spike, still giggling, started to speak. “Hee hee, Twilight, sorry, hee, I couldn’t resist, hee heh, I had to do it, hah heh, you should see the look on your face, heh hah, right now. It’s priceless!”
Twilight blinked once, then twice. Slowly, she got to her hooves, trying to hide the blush on her face with a look of anger. “Spike, that isn’t a very nice thing to do.” She glared up at the dragon, the effect slightly lessened by his height. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
Spike looked at Twilight in amusement, letting out a chuckle. “Twilight, I’m not a little kid anymore. That won’t work on me.” Still, the lavender unicorn persisted, giving the not-so-little dragon her patented librarian stare. Minutes passed, with Spike shifting uncomfortably, Twilight staring him down with her most powerful glare, before he finally backed down.
“Ok, ok Twilight, I’m sorry. Jeez, I just wanted to have a little fun with you is all...” Twilight smiled, reaching up to pat Spike’s knee with a hoof.
“So, I take it Rarity had something good to tell you...?” Twilight asked, sneakily hiding the tissues with a burst of her magic.
Spike’s face lit up at the mention of his love. “How do I put this...?”
“ ... And she said that we both need to heal and grow. She told me that she wants me to be sure that it is her that I want to be with.” Spike looked at Twilight with a serious expression on his face, as if the words he were about to speak were painful. “I don’t know that I love her like I used to. I mean, I love her, I really do, but... I... the feelings I have for her now have changed from the feelings I had for her even two years ago. I look at her, and I see the mare I have loved for years, but I also see the mare that never really took me seriously. That hurts, no matter how you slice it.” Spike looked down, tears dripping down his face.
Twilight silently put a hoof on Spike’s shoulder, not knowing what to say.
“I spent ten years of my life on her, Twilight. I mean... I just... It hurts. It hurts a lot.” Spike started to sob, the emotion becoming too much for him.
Twilight waited until Spike stopped sobbing. “Have you thought maybe Rarity, as much as you love her, is not the one for you?”
Spike wiped his eyes, and looked at Twilight, an odd look on his face. “I have thought of that Twilight. I really have. There is actually somepony besides Rarity that I love. Not quite as much as I do Rarity, but I could see me and her being very happy together. The thing is though, every time I think about going after somepony other than Rarity, I can’t.”
Twilight cocked her head in confusion. “Can’t? What do you mean Spike?”
“I mean, I can’t. It’s like there is something stopping me from pursuing anypony other than Rarity, and the more I try to fight it, the more it seems that my fixation on Rarity grows.” Spike growled in frustration. “Why can’t love ever be simple?”
Twilight looked at him thoughtfully. “Spike, who else do you have feeling for besides Rarity?”
“Promise not to laugh?”
“Promise.”
Spike leaned in, and took a breath. “Pinkie Promise?”
“Do I really need to do that? I said I won’t laugh, and I won’t.”
Spike just gave her a look.
“Sigh... Fine. I Pinkie Promise that I won’t laugh.”
“Okay.” Spike took another, deeper breath. “Fluttershy.”
Twilight cocked her ear. “What’d you say?”
Spike breathed in, and then out. “Fluttershy.”
“Spike, you are going to have to speak up.”
“I said I like Fluttershy, okay?”
“See, that wasn’t so ha- Wait, did you just say Fluttershy?”
Spike gave Twilight a look. “What? What’s so surprising about that? Fluttershy is the first pony here in Ponyville that showed a genuine interest in me. Remember how excited she became when she first met me? Not to mention the fact that she is the kindest, most gentle pony I know. It doesn’t hurt either that she’s pretty cute. Is it really so strange that I have feelings for her?”
“Well, I guess not. I just would have expected you to be more attracted to somepony like Rainbow Dash, or even Pinkie Pie.”
“Why?” Spike asked with a questioning look.
“The fact that both of them are outgoing and pranksters. I figured they would be more appealing to you then somepony as quiet as Fluttershy.”
“Yeah, it surprises me too. I’m not quite sure what it is, but I know that I like her, no, love her. Besides, she is nowhere near as shy as she used to be. Remember that prank that she pulled on Pinkie Pie a few years ago?” Spike asked with a nostalgic smile.
Twilight smiled as well. “Yeah I remember. Those buckets of water attached to the balloons? That was hilarious!”
Spike shuffled his feet nervously. “So, yeah... I have had feelings for Fluttershy for some time now, but like I said, I can’t seem to let go of Rarity. Not saying that I want to do that, but still. I’m not sure what I want to do right now. Maybe I should go talk to Fluttershy about my feelings towards her. I know I’d like to, even if nothing comes of it.”
“Spike, I think you should do what you want to do, and if what you want to do is talk to Fluttershy, then I say go for it. Nothing good comes of keeping things bottled up. You should know that from experience.” Twilight took a deep breath. “You aren’t a child anymore. You have to take care of yourself. No one else is going to live for you. You have to go out and do that, Spike, you have not been doing that for quite some time, now. Am I wrong?”
Spike looked away, biting his lip.
“I know that you love Rarity, and have for quite some time.” Twilight said. “I watched you grow up, Spike. I watched you grow from a cute and naive little dragon, to a young adult dragon, who has spent the last decade of his life trying to impress a pony that, as both of you said, never took you seriously. You need to take the time to really think about, and search inside yourself, what you want to do, and who you want to be with. Find someone who will truly appreciate you, for you.”
Twilight reached out of hoof, drawing Spike’s face back towards her.
Spike, with tears in his eyes, said, “Thanks, Twilight. You always know what to say to cheer me up, and to set me straight.”
Twilight chuckled. “You don’t read as much as I do without learning a thing or two. Now, young dragon, I believe you have something that you need to take care of. And this time, go do it for you.”
Spike ran a claw over his eyes. “Thanks again Twilight. I’ll see you later, hopefully with more good news.”
Twilight gave Spike a smile and a shove. “Go on, get going. You have somepony that you need to talk to, and that pony isn’t me.” Twilight took on a more somber expression. “Just remember Spike, do what you do for you. Okay?”
“I will. Oh, and Twilight?”
“Yes Spike?”
Spike looked at Twilight with mirth in his eyes. “Don’t forget, You have to give up your books. I am holding you to that.” Spike stuck his tongue out and winked at Twilight as he walked out the door.
All that could be heard from the library as Spike walked away from it, was the sound of one very distraught unicorn. ______________________________________________________________________________
Rarity was sitting in her bedroom, her conversation with Spike running through her mind in an endless loop. Her face was scrunched up and drawn tight, her stress evident on her face. Contrary to the way that she had held her emotions in check earlier, Rarity was anything but calm on the inside. The torrent of anguish, anxiety, and anger threatened to completely overtake her: Rarity was visibly shaking due to the force of the emotion running through her.
She looked over at the item that had given her hope for the last nine years. The red glow from the Fire Ruby normally filled Rarity with peace, but as she looked at it now, it only compounded her grief.
Rarity gazed at the Ruby, as if seeking answers. It just glowed its soft glow, as if to say, “You know what needs to be done.”
Rarity rubbed her head with her hooves. Her horn lit up as she levitated a piece a blank piece of paper onto her drawing board. A pencil whipped around in a frenzy, as she was drawn into a creative fervor, fueled by the emotions welling up inside her. The pencil went back and forth, in every direction, up and down, left and right, crossways and sideways, until Rarity stepped back, slightly out of breath. Looking at what she drew for the first time, she gasped, the pencil falling from her magical grasp. For on the paper was not a dress or suit, nor was it any type of clothing. No, the image was that of Spike.
Spike in this drawing was not Spike in real life. Spike, although the biggest resident of Ponyville, was more lanky in build, rather than buff. Spike in the drawing was reminiscent of his old daydreams. In the picture he was tall, stocky, and built like a tank. Rarity stared at it in awe, blushing as she noticed that she had drawn Spike with particular attention to his nether regions.
Dear Celestia, is that really how I see him? It must be, or I would not have drawn this, but still...
Her eyes were drawn back to the picture. Specifically, his nether regions. Her cheeks reddened deeper than a tomato.
What in the name of all things ladylike is wrong with me? That is hardly proper. Although... No Rarity. Get a hold of yourself. That is not what you need to be focused on right now.
With a massive effort of will power, Rarity forced her thoughts away from her baser desires, and looked back at the drawing, this time avoiding certain areas. It would be a shame to simply throw this away though. This certainly cannot be seen by anypony else. I would never live down the shame.
The drawing moved in Rarity’s telekinetic hold, as she placed it behind her pillow for safekeeping. Her bed moved, as she got under the covers and laid down. Maybe some beauty sleep is all I need to get my mind back to normal. That, and a nice cup of tea when I wake up. Rarity drifted off to sleep, Spike, and the drawing racing through her mind. ______________________________________________________________________________
Spike wandered through the afternoon hustle and bustle of Ponyville, moseying around in an attempt to clear his head. Not paying attention to where he was going, he went right past the Carousel Boutique. Spike skidded to a halt, as he looked at the building, his thoughts filled with the mare inside.
What do I do now? I know what both Twilight and Rarity both said is true, but where do I go from here? I’m so confused. Rarity said that I need to make sure it is her that I want to be with, and Twilight said that I need to live my life for myself. How do I do either of those things?
Spike stood across the street from Rarity’s shop, staring at the dark windows.
Should I go talk to Rarity one more time? I want to talk to her. What could it hurt? Spike crossed the street, and knocked on the front door. ______________________________________________________________________________
Rarity awoke to the sound of knocking at her door. Yawning, she rolled over, levitated a hair brush to her mane, and got out of bed. Getting to the bottom of the stairs, she opened the door, starting in surprise at who was at her front door. “Spike, what are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting to see you, or I would have gotten myself better prepared.”
Spike grinned sheepishly. “Sorry Rarity. It’s just that with what we talked about, and what Twilight told me, I’m kinda confused. I don’t know what to do.”
Rarity looked at Spike in concern. “Well, why don’t you come in. Standing on the stoop of one’s residence is hardly the place for a conversation.” Rarity turned and walked back into her shop, with Spike following behind her. Rarity levitated her favorite couch over, and sat down. “Come, Spike, have a seat.” Spike sat on the opposite end of the couch. “So, Spike, what seems to be troubling you?”
Spike leaned forward, his claws intertwined with each other. “Well, I know that I just talked to you this morning and all, but after I talked to you, I went and talked to Twilight. I told her all about our conversation, and what you told me.”
Rarity sighed. “Spike, don’t you think that our conversation should have remained private? What we talked about was highly personal, for both of us.” Rarity shook her head. Spike looked at Rarity, a puzzled look on his face.
“What is the big deal? I mean, it’s Twilight, your best friend, and my sister in all but blood.”
“Well, I just don’t want ponies knowing about what we talked about is all. I mean, would you want just anypony to know about our conversation?” Rarity looked at Spike with a neutral expression on her face, as if to test his reaction.
Spike looked down. “No... I guess you’re right.”
A fleeting smile passed over Rarity’s face . “Well, at least it was only Twilight. So, what did she have to say?”
Spike drew in a breath. “She said that it is time for me to start living my life for me. That I haven’t been doing that at all.”
Rarity frowned, a sad look on her face. “I am much to blame for that, Spike.”
“I know, but still. It doesn’t really matter who’s to blame. That’s really not the point. Twilight is right. I haven’t been living for me. I’ve been living for you, and that hasn’t been fair to either of us.”
Rarity scooted over to Spike, and laid a hoof around his shoulders. “What else did she have to say, Spike?”
“She asked me if I had ever thought about being with anypony other than you.”
Rarity leaned away from Spike, her face becoming dead serious. “Have you, Spike?”
Spike turned, shifting his gaze away. “Yeah...”
“If you don’t mind me asking, who?” On the outside, Rarity was calm and collected, but inside a pressure was slowly building, right along the edges of her eyes.
Spike clutched his claws together, nervously rubbing them. “Well, I.. uh... don’t really know if that’s such a good idea... I mean, I wouldn’t want you to--”
“Oh come on, Spike, you can tell me. Everypony has thought of being with somepony other than the one they care for. It won’t hurt my feelings, I promise.” Rarity flashed Spike her biggest smile, the pressure inside slowly ratcheting up another notch.
“Uh... Well I don’t think that she would... That is, I don’t know if it would be good, I wouldn’t want it to get between you two...”
“Oooh... between us? It’s one of the girls?” Spike’s eyes shot wide open before zeroing in on a spot on the floor, as far from Rarity’s eyes as they could get.
“Hehe, why would you say that?” Spike asked, berating himself for letting something slip.
“Well, you said it yourself. You don’t want it to come between us, so it must be somepony we both know and care about.”
“Y-Yeah, I guess I did, huh?” Rarity got down on her hooves, walking around until she could lift Spike’s face with one, staring him right in the eyes.
“Come on Spikey-Wikey, you can tell me. Please?” Rarity batted her eyelashes, giving Spike a reassuring smile.
“It’s um, it’s Fluttershy...” Spike mumbled.
“What, darling? I didn’t hear you.” That wasn’t totally true, but Rarity wanted to make absolutely sure. “Say again, Spike, and please, speak up.”
“It... it’s Fluttershy...”
Rarity was almost positive she heard correctly, but it’s best to make sure. After all, she didn’t want to jump to any conclusions. “Once more?”
Spike swallowed hard, suddenly unable to keep his mouth from being dry. “F-Fluttershy....” He tore his gaze from Rarity’s, cringing as if afraid of being slapped, but the blow never came. Spike opened his eyes to see Rarity passed out on the floor in a dead faint. ______________________________________________________________________________
Rarity woke slowly, dizziness filling her head. “Ohhhhhhhhhh, what happened?” As Rarity’s head cleared, she saw that she was lying in her bed, the covers draped over her neatly. Rarity looked at the end of her bed, and saw Spike facing away from her.
“Spike, what are you doing in my room? What are you doing here?”
Spike turned at the sound of her voice. “Uh, don’t you remember what happened?” Spike looked at Rarity curiously.
Rarity scrunched up her face. “The last thing I remember is laying down to take a-- “
She paused. “Wait,” Rarity continued a second later, “didn’t you come over and talk to me--”
She sighed and put her face in her hooves. “Please don’t tell me I remember you telling me what I think you told me.” Spike just stared at Rarity, unable to form any words.
Rarity took her head from her hooves, her head turned down and to her right. Biting her lip, she said, ”I was afraid of that...” Spike came over to the side of the bed, kneeling down to Rarity’s eye level. “I thought you said that you wanted me to make sure that I really wanted to be with you?” Spike questioned, a puzzled look on his face.
Rarity looked up at Spike, her eyes watering. “I did say that, and I meant what I said.”
“But?”
“But, that has no bearing about I feel about you. Yes, I want you to be with whomever you are happiest with. That does not mean that I don’t love you.” Rarity looked at Spike, tears flowing freely down her face. “I love you Spike. No matter who you choose, or what you choose to do, I will always love you. Even if you don’t choose me, I want you to know that I will always be there for you.” Spike cupped Rarity’s face in one claw, and kissed her on top of her head. Rarity looked up, staring at Spike in wonder and amazement.
“Thanks, Rarity. That means a lot to me.”
Rarity sniffed. “Think nothing of it dear. Now, I do believe that you have a pegasus you need to talk to?” Spike started to speak, but Rarity cut him off. “Not another word, Spike. Go talk to her.” Spike simply nodded, started to walk off, and turned back.
“Thanks again, Rarity.” Spike gave her a warm smile, before walking out the door.
Rarity sighed as she walked back to her room. As she came to her bed, she brought her drawing out from behind her pillow, looking at it wistfully. Fresh tears started running down her face, as she held the picture to her chest. Oh, Spike. I love you so much... Please... Come back to me... ______________________________________________________________________________
Fluttershy was sitting on her couch in her cottage going over the latest reports from her patients. Over the years, her skill with animals and her willingness to treat any and all illnesses from a simple cold to something as bad as a broken bone had led to her home becoming the most visited veterinary clinic in Ponyville.
She had just finished reading through the latest charts on a young bird with a fractured wing when she heard a knocking on her door. I wonder who that could be... she wondered to herself as she fluttered over to the door and opened it with a hoof. “Oh, hi Spike. What can I do for you?”
Spike took a deep breath. “Well, there is something that I want to talk to you about. Are you busy?”
Fluttershy backed up to let Spike in. “Not at all. Come on in, Spike. Make yourself at home. Would you like some tea?”
Spike gave Fluttershy a smile. “I would love some tea. Thank you, Fluttershy.”
“Give me just a second, and I will be right back.” Fluttershy said as she went into the kitchen, moving her numerous papers so Spike could sit down.
Spike sat down on the couch as he waited for Fluttershy. That right there is what attracted me to her in the first place.She’s not Rarity, but she is the kindest pony I know, and she has always taken time to spend with me, even when she was busy with her work.
Fluttershy came back into the living room a couple of minutes later, bearing two cups of tea. “Spike? The tea is done.” Fluttershy waved a wing in front of Spike’s glazed over face. “Helloooooo? Anydragon home?” Spike snapped out of his reverie, looking up at Fluttershy with a goofy grin on his face.
“Oh, sorry about that, Fluttershy. I was just daydreaming. Thanks for the tea. It smells really good.”
Fluttershy giggled, and sat down across from Spike. “It must have been a pretty good daydream, for you to be that out of it.”
You have no idea, your royal cuteness.
Fluttershy took a sip of her tea. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?
Spike took a breath. “This has to stay between me and you, okay?”
Fluttershy gave a little nod.
“Well, Rarity had Twilight send me over to her Boutique earlier today. When I got over there, she wanted to talk to me about my feelings for her.”
Fluttershy sat up straighter. “Really, what did she say?”
The pegasus just listened as Spike talked, occasionally nodding her head, or asking a quick question. When Spike had finished speaking, she stood up, and put a wing around him.
“That must have been hard to hear, Spike. But what does that all have to do with me?”
Spike leaned forward, took a deep breath, and said. “What it has to do with you, Fluttershy, is that... that... I... love you too.”
Fluttershy withdrew her wing, and took a step back, shock plain on her features.
Spike winced, as if something was hurting him, but continued talking. “I love Rarity, but with what has happened between me and her, I just don’t know. I know that she told me to make sure that it is her that I want to be with. I would like to see what could happen between me and you... If you’d be okay with that, that is.” At these words, Spike started to twitch and shake uncontrollably.
Fluttershy looked at Spike with deep concern in her eyes. “Are you okay Spike? You look like you’re having a seizure or something.”
Spike looked at Fluttershy through glassy eyes, as if he were seeing her from far away.
Why do you persist in this folly young one? You cannot be with her, nor does it matter how much you love her.
You need not know who I am, save for the fact that I am a part of you, and a part of the Dragon race as a whole. As for your other question, that is something that I cannot tell you, save for one thing. If you truly desire to be with her, you will have to not only overcome yourself, but you will have to do something that only one other dragon has ever done. You will have to die.
Please... tell... me... your... name...
If you must call me anything, call me GoldHeart. You have a long path in front of you, young one, with many ways you could take. Not all of them end in happiness, and many of them end in despair for you. The final thing I will say is this: be very careful who you give your heart to.
Now, young one, you must sleep. Sleep, and dream. Dream of ages long past. Dream of the choices made in the name of “Love.” And then, you must make a choice. You must decide if your “Love” is worth giving up yourself for. I shall be watching, young dragon. Choose wisely...
Fluttershy fluttered around in a frenzy, as Spike fainted, going into a realm of dreams and visions.
Spike floated in a sea of images that swam in and out of his focus like a swarm of dazzling butterflies, each trying to get into his head at once as if they were all in a hurry to be seen.
He looked around in awe. Dragons of varying shapes and sizes appeared all around him, some of them coming so close that Spike could almost reach out and touch them. All the dragons just stared at him, as if watching to see what he would do. He knew instinctively that they weren’t real, even though some of them almost seemed to look right into his soul. The one that stood out the most and seemed to dominate the rest was a huge golden colored dragon with scales that shone like the sun. Its size put even Razorfang to shame, making him look like a harmless puppy in comparison.
GoldHeart, Spike thought to himself. Seeing him for the first time, Spike felt a shudder go through his entire body. Who is he, and why do I feel this way? I can’t know him; that’s impossible. But I feel as if I do, as if I’ve known him my whole life... He watched as the image of GoldHeart faded away, as well as the other dragons. In their place, the image of a pony slowly came into focus.
The apparition was now a green and purple unicorn, with a shaggy, pointed mane and tail. Her mane and tail were an entrancing emerald green, and her coat a deep majestic purple. The shivers that had gone through Spike paled in comparison to the chills he was feeling at the sight of her.
Everything around Spike twisted and warped, colors blurring together in a dizzying whirlwind until Spike forced his eyes shut. When he opened them again, he was flying in the air. He did a mental double-take, I’ve never been able to fly, I don’t even have wings! His body disagreed, for Spike distinctly felt the effort of moving massive muscles in his back, feeling wind ripple around hollow bones and thin membrane.
Though he did not will it, Spike felt his head move until a vast meadow filled his vision; a large field of green with small bunches of varying colors, which he quickly realized were bunches of flowers. When one of them moved, Spike tried to open his eyes in astonishment. Instead, he felt his head move down, just a little closer to the ground below. The odd moving thing, which Spike quickly identified as a pony of some kind, continued about its way, paying no attention to the dragon soaring overhead, even when it touched down with a mighty thud on a rocky outcropping of a cave.
Spike laid down, and time began to warp. He could see the sun’s color slowly shifting, from yellow to orange to red to black, presumably when the moon took its place, which bathed the area in a cool silver. As quick as it started, time returned to normal, just in time for a small purple hoof to firmly plant itself on the ledge, followed shortly after by another, and a third, until a purple pony hauled itself over the edge.
The pony cautiously poked its- her- muzzle into the cave, obviously unable to see the massive dragon lying within due to the low light. She cautiously walked inside, looking around, until she stumbled over one of Spike’s large legs, causing her to squeak and bolt from the cave. Spike laughed, a deep, rumbling laugh on the opposite end of his own, and went to sleep. When he awoke, an undetermined amount of time later, the pony was back, sitting right before him, watching him sleep. Spike flexed one claw, making it click against the rough ground. The pony, a unicorn, flinched, but didn’t leave.
Time began to flux once again. Days passed in moments, revealing only small hints of what happened. However, in every one, the purple pony was always alongside Spike, and though she initially feared him, she seemed to become more and more comfortable in his presence. At one point, a word slipped into Spike’s mind, Purple Dawn, which returned every time the unicorn was near.
Everything slowed once again, with Spike in the air. This time, however, the meadow he flew over was not green; it was white, covered in snow. And he was not leisurely flying home: he was speeding above the ground, quickly whipping his head back and forth, searching. To make matters worse, more snow was falling, blending the ground and the horizon in the same uniform gray-white color.
Eventually, a spot of purple broke up the monotonous white. Spike fixed on it, and swooped down, grabbing the spot gently in his claws, lifting the struggling pony into the air. It squirmed and struggled for a moment, but quickly settled down, and nuzzled the inside of Spike’s foreleg.
They landed on the ledge of the cave and settled in. Spike positioned himself to block as much of the snow from the pony as possible, though the cold snow stung against his warm scales. However, his guest, quickly identified as Purple Heart, seemed to appreciate the gesture. Everything faded dark, though this time, Spike’s vision never came back, at least, not in the same way.
Dozens of visions flashed past in rapid succession: Purple Dawn taking Spike down into town; the ponies initially causing a fuss, but eventually growing used to the dragon; Purple Dawn moving them both into a large house on the edges of town; helping the ponies with tasks too great for them; the rulers coming to meet him.
The happiness. The laughter. The egg.
The pain. The sadness. The first broken scale.
War. Revolution. Spike attacking flying things as they tried to hurt Purple Dawn. Watching one slip through, attacking his beloved. Killing all who stood in the way, friend and foe alike. Taking Purple Dawn to his cave, and watching her die, knowing that he would soon join her. Spike’s last thoughts were of the egg that they were leaving in the care of the white ruler.
The images and visions faded. Everything Spike had seen was now an irreplaceable part of him. Spike shook his head, trying to process all he had just witnessed. He put a claw over his heart as a burning sensation emanated from it, eventually making its way through his whole body. What was that? he thought
That, young one, was nothing more or less than the consequences of my choices.
Spike’s head swung around in alarm. “Who said that? Where are you?”
I am right here, young one. You just lack the sight to truly see what is right in front of you.
A growl loosed itself from Spike’s mouth. “Look, enough with the games. I want to know what is going on, and I want to know now! What was that?”
The space in front of Spike shimmered slightly, then coalesced into the gold dragon. The dragon looked down at Spike, with old, worn eyes. “Young one...”
Spike looked up at the huge gold dragon, awe filling his face before turning into frustration. He boldly walked up to GoldHeart, coming right to his feet. “You must be GoldHeart. Who are you, and what was that?”
GoldHeart leaned his massive head down. “I believe I already told you that. I am GoldHeart.”
Spike sighed. “I know your name; what I don’t know is who you are. How do you know me, and what did you mean when you said that you are part of me, and of the Dragon race? For that matter, what did I just see?”
GoldHeart took a deep breath, an ancient sorrow in his voice. “Young one, one thing at a time. You ask questions that have no simple answers. What do you want to know first?”
Spike grew quiet, mulling over the questions in front of him. “I want to know what you meant when you said that you are a part of me, and the rest of the Dragon race.”
GoldHeart sighed again. “Of course, you would want to know the most complicated thing. Get comfortable, young one, for mine is a tale that is long and complex.”
Spike sat, looking up at him. “Let’s hear it then. I’m listening.”
GoldHeart’s eyes closed. “My tale begins many, many years ago. I was hatched even before your Princess Celestia was born. I was raised in the tradition of our ancestors. As soon as I was old enough to do so, I was put out into the wild, so I could learn to fend for myself. I learned the basic things that our kind does, such as hoarding treasure and taking naps every century or so. I lived my life like any other dragon would.”
GoldHeart’s voice became wistful. “It was many centuries before I met the one who would change my life forever, the one would challenge everything I thought I knew about our race. I met a pony, and that is when everything turned upside down for me. Her name was Purple Dawn, and she was my mate.”
At this, Spike, who had been listening quietly, exclaimed loudly, “Woah woah woah, what?! You mean, mate, as in, mate mate? As in, you know, mating?”
GoldHeart chuckled. “Yes, young one. That is what the word mate normally means, does it not? Why should that be so surprising? You yourself are interested in two different ponies, are you not?”
Spike blushed. “Well, yeah. But I never really thought about... that before. That, and I never thought that any dragon would ever be interested in a pony in any way, let alone the way I am.”
GoldHeart grew serious. “In what way are you interested in them, young one?”
“I, uh, um...,” he stammered. “What business is that of yours? Besides, don’t you already know, considering you’re the one who brought me here?”
GoldHeart raised his head. “It is not my place to tell your story. Besides, I want to hear it from your mouth. As for what business of mine it is, your choices in this matter will have long lasting consequences on not just you and the ponies involved in this matter, but for the pony and dragon race as a whole.”
Spike closed his eyes, getting his thoughts together. “I just want someone to appreciate what I do. Someone that will appreciate me. Someone that won’t take me for granted.”
GoldHeart lay down next to Spike, sighing as he did so. “That is the desire for anyone living, young one. To be with someone that you can share the innermost depths of who you are is the truest and deepest desire anyone holds within them. Want I want to know, is what you want. Beyond the general sense, I want to to know it is that you want to do.”
“I just told you. I want someone to have all of me, and have all of me in a good way.” Spike shook his head in frustration. “What more do you want from me?”
GoldHeart growled softly. “Listen to me carefully, young one. You have told me, twice now, what you want. I am not asking you what you want. I am asking you what it is that you want to do. There is a fine line between the two.”
“I want to pursue happiness, and I think that going after Fluttershy will be the way that I get what I want. She is kind and gentle, and I want to be with her. You asked me what I want to do; there it is. I want to pursue a relationship with Fluttershy. That is what I want to do.”
GoldHeart sighed again. “Young one, why do you persist in this folly? I already told you it doesn’t matter how much you want to be with her. You will never be able to no matter how badly you want it. There are forces involved in this that are beyond your comprehension, and nothing you can do will change them. Also, aren’t you moving a little fast? Just a week ago, you were head over claw for the purpled-maned pony. What is the change, young one?”
Blowing smoke, Spike stood up and looked the gold dragon dead in the eye. “Who are you, or anyone else, to tell me what I can or can’t do? I lived my whole life waiting for somepony to love me the way I love them, and guess what? It never happened! I am not going to just wait around for Fluttershy to fall into my life in the way I want her. I want to be with her, and I’m going to make it happen.”
GoldHeart snorted. “Go ahead then. Rush into this like a hatchling chasing after his first meal. Just like the hatchling, you will see that it is not so simple as charging headfirst after what you want. I have seen much in my lifetime, young one, both while I was living and after. You would do well to listen to me, for I don’t speak idly, nor do I speak to hear my own voice. You rush into things involving these ponies, and you will regret it.”
Spike’s breath whooshed out of him as he slumped into a sitting position. Half pleading, half raging, his voice ranged up and down. “What am I supposed to do then? The pony I’ve chased after for nigh over a decade used me. Am I supposed to wait another ten years for Fluttershy to come around? Wait another ten years in the hopes that someone will love me? I can’t go through that again.” Spike growled, fire flickering and dancing in his eyes. He stood, looking up at GoldHeart.
“I can’t and I won’t. The pain I suffered is too much to go through again! My heart can’t take that one more time! What other choice do I have, then to, as you put it, rush after what I want?”
The gold dragon shook his massive head. “Young one, if you rush into this, not only will you not get what you want, but you will also lose any chance of happiness in your life. You force this, and you will forever suffer the consequences, ones that you will only wish you could rescind. I have seen time and time again, both ponies and dragons alike, rushing or forcing what they wanted to happen, and not only did they lose what they wanted, but they lost other things as well. In the end, they all wished they could go back and change what they did. I want to prevent you from going through that.
Spike looked sharply at the gold colored dragon. “What does it really matter to you? Yeah, you can tell me all about how what I do will affect both the dragon and pony races, but why do you have such a personal interest in what I do or what I want, or anything about about me at all? The only thing I know about you is that, according to you, you live in the heart of every dragon. If that’s the case, why such the interest in me personally?”
At these words, GoldHeart’s face twisted in agony and longing. Putting a claw over his heart, he took a deep breath and with a heavy, pain laden voice, he said, “Young one, I am your sire. You are my one and only son, and I have looked forward to meeting you face to face for a long, long time.”
Spike stared at GoldHeart in astonishment. His mouth worked up and down, making him look like a fish as he struggled to form words. Finally, not knowing what else to do, Spike sat down hard.
“I know this must come as quite a shock, Spike, but what I speak is the truth. I am your sire.”
Still in a sitting position, Spike looked up at the dragon who was claiming to be his father. “What do you mean, you’re my father? How is that possible? According to both what I know and what you’ve told me, my egg laid dormant for many years. How was it that I hatched so long after you had died?”
The massive dragon laid down next to his son, both delight and sadness presenting itself in his voice. “Spike, you must understand something. We dragons have much magic that is intertwined into our beings that affect both ourselves and the ones around us, and most of it we do not understand. When your egg was created, shortly thereafter, both your mother and myself perished. Because of our deaths, the magics that were present in your egg made you lay dormant until someone could take care of you, that someone being the pony who came and hatched you.
Taking a deep breath and looking up at the big dragon before him, speech came slowly but surely to the young dragon. “You said my mother. What does that make me? If you’re a dragon, and my mother was a pony, than what... am I?”
“You, Spike, are an individual like few others. Because of your heritage, you have the mind and a body of a dragon, but the heart of a pony. That is part of the reason why you acclimated so well and lived so peacefully with the ponies as you do.”
Spike put a claw out in front of his face, twisting and turning it, staring at it intently. Continuing to look at his claw, Spike said, “Then I’m different from most dragons... That explains a lot, actually.” Tearing his gaze away from his claw, Spike looked back at the golden dragon. “Tell me, GoldHeart, how did you and my mother die?”
GoldHeart’s eyes flared wide open, his pain made obvious from the way his body shuddered and his shallow breathing.. “Back when your mother and I were still alive, things were much different than they are now. The peace that you have known in your lifetime was not present for me and Purple Dawn. In my lifetime, the griffons were constantly at war with the ponies. As a result, Purple Dawn and I got caught up in constant battles. The village that Purple Dawn lived in was constantly in danger, as it was a key location for the war back then. We could only do so much before the village was overrun and Purple Dawn was wounded beyond what could be healed. Her injuries caused her death, and mine as well.”
Spike cocked his head in confusion. “Wait, what? Why would Purple Dawn’s- my Mother’s injuries- kill you? I thought dragons were immortal, that we couldn’t be killed.”
GoldHeart put a massive claw over his heart, closing his eyes as he did so. “You’re right, Spike. We can’t be killed. At least not under normal circumstances. The relationship between your mother and me could not be called normal from any perspective.”
GoldHeart sighed hollowly, the hole in his heart apparent in his voice. “You know that dragons and ponies do not get along well now. The relationship, if it could be called that, between the two races was even worse in your mother's and my time. There have only been a clawful of dragon-pony relationships in history, and most of those ended badly for all involved. Something you must understand, Spike, is that the two races were, and are, vastly different. It is a fact which you, having lived among ponies since your hatching, do not fully understand.
“We dragons are an ancient race, older than any other. Even the Alicorns, who are akin to gods in the minds of the ponies, are infants to the dragons. We have a long and oft times rocky history, for we are not known for our welcoming personalities. Most dragons are solitary creatures, only coming in contact with others for mating, hunting, territory disputes, and the occasional stray encounter. This is ever more true for dragon-pony encounters. In fact, had your mother not been exploring, and poked her muzzle into my cave, the two of us would never have met, and you would never have been hatched.”
Spike’s voice cut into GoldHeart’s narrative. “What I don’t understand is how the two of you ever got together in the first place. Yeah, I saw what you showed me, I know how the two of you met, but I don’t know the details of how the two of you even began talking, let alone how you both wound up being together. How does a dragon that wasn’t raised around ponies even start being attracted to one in the first place?”
GoldHeart chuckled, smoke coming out of his nostrils in short spurts. “I can tell you this, Spike, it wasn’t a simple process. Purple Dawn may have been born a pony, but she had a stubborn streak and a force of will that would make most dragons look like agreeable creatures. Once she got something into her head that she wanted to do, nothing could dissuade her. She was always an inquisitive sort, and she had a reputation for poking her muzzle into all sorts of trouble.” His voice fell and rose, as his narrative made the years melt away for the massive dragon.
“Had it been any other pony that stuck their nose into my cave that day, I would never had seen them again. Your mother however, being the inquisitive creature that she was, came back to my cave, again and again, despite my attempts to drive her away. You see, Spike, at first, I never even talked to her. She would come around my cave every few days, and try to get me to talk to her, and I, in turn, would chase her away, breathing fire at her, until she left the edges of my territory.”
Spike just sat in silence, awe filling his face, as he listened to his parent’s story.
GoldHeart closed his eyes as he reminisced. “It was not until she told me that unless I was willing to turn her into charcoal, that she would not leave until I talked to her. At that point, she had been coming around for two months give or take a few days, and I was intrigued. I had never before been spoken to in such a manner, let alone by a pony. Normally, the very sight of me was enough to scare away any intruders. So, we talked. That first day, we seemed to talk for hours. Time was of no consequence, for she seemed to fill a hole inside of me that I did not know I had.
“She talked about such things as family, and friends. I, being a solitary dragon, had little experience with simple conversation. She told me about the day to day life in her village, and how even though she loved her family and friends, she longed for something more. When I asked her what she wanted, she simply looked at me, and said ‘You’.
“ When that day ended, I was happier than I had ever been before. Mind you, it took much longer than that for me to open up to her; no matter how I was feeling, I was still a full grown dragon, and we do not change, or at least allow change easily. It wasn’t for almost a year that I let my guard down around her, and it was even longer than that before I let her into my cave.”
Spike spoke up again. “Okay, I get where the attraction came for you, sort of, but where did it come for my mother? How did she wind up being interested in you?”
The gold dragon laughed. “Funny you should ask that. I was just thinking of that myself. You see, I asked her that once, and she turned the deepest shade of red I have ever seen in anyone. Mind you, this was about two or three years after we first met. After a lot of coaxing, she told me it was the color of my scales and they way they sparkled in the sun. According to her, that was what first attracted her to me. Afterwards, she said, it was my way with words--witty, she called me--and my ferocity. Mind you, I was always gentle towards her, but she said it was the way that I spoke. With passion, she said.” GoldHeart shook his massive head. “I only wish I would have had longer to be with her, and I wish we had survived to raise you.”
Spike spoke up again. “ Yeah, that is something I am really confused about, and something you have yet to explain. How exactly did you die?”
GoldHeart sighed. “That is the most complicated answer yet, Spike. As I said, we dragons have a lot of magic that is contained within us, and we do not comprehend most of it. However, one of the few magicks in us that we do understand, is that the first individual we fall in love with, we are bound by the magic within us to be with forever. It has to be a mutual attraction. Because we live forever, a spurned heart in our race could cause no end of turmoil and pain among us. It is for that reason, or we so assume, that we are bound to the object of our first true attraction.” GoldHeart sighed with a passion that seemed to resonate in his entire body.
“I had already been bound to someone when I had met your mother. She was a dragoness that I had met long ago, while I was still growing and maturing. We were close, at first. As time went on, she changed. She went from being gentle and kind- for a dragon anyways- to a brute, acting vicious to everyone around her. Naturally, I left. It was over a century later that I met your mother.”
Spike chewed on a claw, deep in thought. “If you were bound to someone already, then how were you able to be with my mother?” Spike asked, his brow furrowed.
“Spike, that is something I cannot tell you, for you are in a similar situation. You must figure that out for yourself. Although, I must point out a couple of things. You would not be bound to Rarity if she did not have true feelings for you, and you need to take some time and really consider what your feelings are for Fluttershy. Is she someone you truly love, or is she just a scapegoat, so you do not have to face Rarity? You must be honest with yourself, both for your sake, and especially for the sakes of the ponies around you.”
Spike stood, his face lighting up. “Wait a second. You just said that I would not be bound to Rarity if she didn’t have feelings for me. If that is true, then why is she able to go around with all the different stallions she has?”
“Because, Spike, she is not a dragon. While the magic within you resonates in response to her feelings for you, it does not bind her as it does you.” GoldHeart looked Spike up and down, his eyes shining. “My time is short. I don’t have much longer to speak with you like this. I love you, my son. Remember, you must be honest with yourself, and with the ponies involved in all this. I will always be watching.”
Spike stood. “Wait! Will I ever get to talk to you again? What if I need you?”
GoldHeart smiled. “Just listen to what is inside your heart, Spike. I will not be, and have never been, far from you.” GoldHeart faded slowly away; a flash of brilliant light was the last that Spike saw of him.
Spike laid down, sleep overtaking him; the last thought in his mind before drifting off was GoldHeart’s words, “You must be honest.”
Spike groaned and sat up, the smell of tea clearing his head. He stretched and turned, taking in the surroundings. The circular room was furnished with simple things; a modest lamp and a bird stand stood in one corner, water and food bowls, along with vet supplies in another. Yet another corner had blankets of various sizes in it. Pillows were also in surprising supply, scattered around the room on almost every surface.
Why is it dark outside? Spike looked down at himself. And why do I have a blanket with bunnies on itcovering me? Shrugging, Spike turned toward the smell that woke him. Seeing a pot of tea and a tea cup on a stool beside him, he licked his lips.
How long was I out? Spike mused as he took a sip of tea. The last thing I remember, I was talking to Fluttershy. What happened? The sound of clopping hooves shook Spike out of his thoughts. Yellow filled Spike’s eyes as Fluttershy came into view.
“Are you okay, Spike?” Fluttershy whispered. Spike looked into her eyes.
“Yeah, I’m okay, Fluttershy. What happened? How long was I out?”
Fluttershy just stood quietly for a moment. “You were out for a good hour or so. Do you remember why you came over?”
Spike closed his eyes. “I remember coming over to talk to you about something, but I don’t remember what. The next thing I know, I woke up with a bunny blanket on me, and the smell of really good tea right next to me.”
Fluttershy walked over and sat next to Spike. Draping one of her wings over him, she said, “Well, why don’t you just relax for a minute? I’ll get some of my tea cakes for you.” Fluttershy held Spike’s gaze for a second before she walked away. The bed creaked as Spike laid back down.
Why can’t I remember what I talked to Fluttershy about, and why do I have this nagging feeling that it was something important? I can just barely remember... what I am going to do? My head is filled with all these images, like half forgotten memories that are flashing back and forth too fast for me to reach. What happened to me?
The last thing I clearly remember was leaving Rarity’s after telling her about Fluttershy. What was I thinking, telling Rarity of all ponies about my feelings for Fluttershy? I mean, I’m not entirely sure how I feel at this point. I do like Fluttershy, but with Rarity and everything, I just don’t know how to feel...
Spike’s thoughts were once again interrupted by the sound of Fluttershy approaching. Spike started to get back up, but was stopped by one of Fluttershy’s hooves, her gaze inscrutable.
“You just relax, Spike. I don’t mean to alarm you, but you had something of a seizure, and you need to take it easy for a little bit until we know for sure you’re okay.”
Spike relaxed, acquiescing to her ministrations.
Fluttershy took a deep breath. “When you collapsed, I didn’t know what to do at first; you were shaking and twitching. You stopped spasming after a couple of minutes and your breathing went back to normal. From there I got you into bed, covered you in my bunny blanket and made tea. Other than that, I’ve just been keeping an eye on you.”
What in the world? Why would I have a seizure? What- “Wait... I think I remember something...” Spike’s face scrunched up as he started to remember. Fluttershy just watched in silence. GoldHeart... Purple Dawn... what are these images? These memories? Why do I feel like I’m still forgetting something... Rubbing his temple with a claw, Spike breathed deeply.
Fluttershy wrapped a soft wing around the young dragon’s shoulder. “Take it easy, Spike. No need to strain yourself.” Moving into a sitting position, Spike rubbed his temple some more.
“I know there is something I’m forgetting. I keep getting these weird flashbacks; memories that aren’t mine, but are mine. I know it doesn’t make any sense...”
Fluttershy sat quietly, her face impassive. Do I tell him? I don’t know if I should or not...
Spike continued rubbing his temples. “I can see a giant gold dragon, a purple mare, an egg... Ahhhhhh!” Spike sprang up, knocking Fluttershy over in the process. Picking herself up off the floor, Fluttershy ran over to Spike.
“Are you okay, Spike?” Spike shivered as she poked him with a hoof.
Spike slowly turned to face Fluttershy, a grimace on his face. Shakily, Spike said, “Sorry, Fluttershy, I think I need to be alone for a little. Get my head together, you know.” Walking out the door, he turned his head. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Thanks again.”Walking with his head in his claws, Spike left Fluttershy’s home. What do I do now? I couldn’t stay there, not after everything I just remembered. I can’t believe I actually told Fluttershy I wanted to go out with her! What was I thinking?
Then there’s GoldHeart and everything he told me. About him being my father, about Purple Dawn, how they both died. Not to mention what he told me about that magical bond between me and Rarity, and what he said about Fluttershy.
What do I do from here? I can’t just go back to Fluttershy and tell her what I remembered. She’d think I was crazy! I think I’m half crazy at this point. I mean, was I really visited by my dead father, or did I just have a really realistic hallucination? About the only pony I can think of that wouldn’t think I was nuts is Twilight, but I don’t know if I want to tell her at all, especially if it turns out that I wasn’t hallucinating.
Taking a deep breath, Spike surveyed his surroundings. There is only one other pony I know that would be able to help me figure this out who wouldn’t think I was nuts. Celestia; she is the one who had my egg in the first place, so she has to know something about my parents.
Well, this is going to be an interesting conversation...
