A story about a tortured girl who hides behind the mask of joy
Despite the dark and tragic past, she keeps a smile on her face that conceals the 3 things she has known all too well her entire life: Pain Betrayal Suffering
Cargo pants with a grey hoodie with the hood down. Airpods in both ears, one of which had 4 ear piercings and the other with 2. She ran a hand through her scattered coloured purple short hair in an attempt to make them sit in an orderly fashion. Her sapphire blue eyes expressionless and hard, her eyelids covered half of them thanks to the lack of sleep she had been facing since as long as she could remember.
Although the store was filled with noisy people, occasional shouts and screams from children, all she heard were the deep bass beats blaring in her headphones. The electric guitar sound complemented singers voice. Setting the bottle on the counter and dropping a dollar bill beside it, she let with it after ripping the label off.
She put her hood on and walked down the dark alley she always did. To one, it seemed like a place which spelt nothing but trouble, but to her, it felt like home, her entire life always shrouded with darkness. She sat down in a corner which she had reserved for herself, put her AirPods back into its case and rolled up both her sleeves. Covered in red streaks that burnt to the touch, she dragged a finger along it, the pain making her feel normal.
If she didn’t feel pain, she wasn’t normal.
She uncapped the bottle and, using 2 fingers, scooped out a little of the thick lotion inside and applied it on her arms to cover the wounds. Pain flared hot and bright inside, yet her lips twitched upwards to form a half smile. Not in the past 20 years since that traumatic event that mentally scarred her for life had she for once never felt pain. The lotion dried up, leaving behind what looked like a lump of white clay that blended in perfectly with her skin texture. She took out a bottle of concealer from her pocket, and smoothened it over the lotion. The concealer blended with her natural skin tone.
If she didn’t feel pain, she wasn’t normal. That’s what she thought.
She had felt pain her entire life. It felt as normal as a child using a stuffed toy as a friend.All thanks to someone who she feared the most, not because of the pain she caused her, but because of the threats she had placed before her. She dared not to back away from her, knowing that doing so could hurt the one at stake.
She hid the bottle in her pocket, and continued her journey back home. She tugged her hood further down, leaving no chance for any of her admirers to chase after her. Upon reaching her apartment, she took a deep breath and opened the door
“Hey y’all! What’s cooking?” She asked cheerily as the smell of baked goods wafted into the hallway.
“Hey Zipp, just baking mac and cheese for dinner, you ok?”
“Yea, any reason i wouldn’t be?” she asked, shifting her short messy hair from the left to the right nonchalantly.
“Jeez, i just asked, whatevs…” her sister replied before stalking off.
She trudged up to her room, and locked the door, all 13 locks. She switched on the light, and slid her phone out of her pocket. She placed it on her table and used a book behind it as a stand. She clicked the record button, and rolled up her sleeves, exposing her arms, looking completely unharmed. She rolled up her hoodie from the stomach area a bit and showed the very faint red lines on her stomach. She stopped recording and sent the video to someone before leaving her phone in her room.
Every step she took, every time she moved any part of her body, agony coursed through her veins. She had learnt to bear the pain and keep her mouth shut.
“Oh my gosh guys, look, this i like such an old pic of me and my mom, it’s so cute,” her sister said as she showed her phone screen to her friends. She looked up from her own phone and as the image of a young woman with a chubby little girl filled her view, a memory tucked into a corner of her mind came flooding her like a tidal wave,
“You’re just like your father, useless”
“Do i look like i have they fucking time to deal with you?”
“You’re beneath me, idiot,”
“I will desecrate you”
“You get those shit brains from that ass of a father you have,”
It had never happened to her before. She became trapped in her own head, as the screaming and shouting grew louder.
“You think you’re very smart don’t you?”
The crack sound of the cane came clear and distinct, yet she remained still. She could feel her friends shaking her to snap her out of her trance
“You are the reason im so miserable today,”
“I hope you burn, you pathetic idiot,”
“You’re useless and pathetic, just like your father”
“This is what you get, you hate-filled liar!”
Suddenly, all was quiet, everything was a blur, and everything turned black.
She gasped as though she had been drowning as she sat up on the carpeted floor. Her friends surrounded her, all wearing a worried expression on their faces.
“A-are you okay, Zipp?”
“Y-yea, im g-good, d-did I say anything while I was out?” She spoke in a fearful voice.
“You started repeating ‘No, no, leave her alone’ about 4 times,” Pipp replied, still confused and worried.
“Oh, thank god, are you guys ok?” She said as she let out a breath she had been holding in.
“Yeah, but what’s the ‘Thank god’ for?” Hitch asked with suspicion
She had been caught, or so she thought.
“Oh y-y’know I thought I was screaming bloody murder or something freaky, I’ve read those kind of stories before, y-y’know,”
She stood up quickly and asked, “So, is dinner ready, im starving,”
“Yup, it came out the oven as soon as you passed out,” Izzy said cheerfully as she scampered into the kitchen.
The sudden change in topic was as obvious as a pear among apples, but only to Hitch, the rest didn’t suspect a thing.
Dread filled her as she laid the dress on the bed and walked towards her.
“Why don’t you and I have a little chat, see how you’ve been feeling?”
Grabbing her by the shoulder painfully, she dragged her into that same dreaded room that she cleaned everyday.
“Now, pass me Dennis, you little bitch”
She walked towards the corner and picked up the thinnest and longest pale white stick among the selection.
Passing it to her, she got herself into the same position she got into everyday; kneeling on the floor with her eyes locked on the floor.
“Care to tell me why you wouldn’t pass Pipp that dress of yours that you only wore yesterday?”
The sensation of pain radiating through her body sent words flying to her mouth.
“The dress h-had some d-d-dirt on the hem, s-so i t-told her i would w-w-wash it and then give it t-to her,”
Her words were punctuated by the crack of cane hitting bare skin. The sound reverberated in the room as she continued to whip her mercilessly. As the last crack sounded and echoed for well over 30 seconds, another loud slap was heard. She felt blood filling her mouth, her hand coming in contact with her cheek with force. She tossed her a bottle and a tube of concealer. She let the cane leave her palm and spoke in the same sweet tone she always spoke it.
“Make sure you clean every corner, or you know what happens!”
Raising her head from the position she was in, she glanced around the room, 2 walls with splatters of dark red on the same spot. Allowing herself a moment of sadness, she squeezed her eyes shut and tears streamed down her cheeks. Knowing that she could come back any second to check, she wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her mint green shirt that had been stained dark red and stood up to clean.
“Come here, i have tons of experience in hair curlers,” Pipp replied, taking the curling iron from her hand
“Guys, did you forget we have swim class today? Your curls are gonna be soaked,” Sunny said from the breakfast table, her mouth full of toast.
“oh yeah, better put this away then,” Izzy said, switching off the curling iron.
“Crap we have swim class today?” Zipp said, whipping her head around, her hair half purple half pink
“Yea, she can get into the Olympics with her swimming, like no cap, so what are you worried about?” Pipp asked, turning to look at er sister while brushing her waist-length purple hair.
They locked eyes for a moment
Shit I’ve been caught
“Oh, y-y’know, i thought my hair colour would dissolve in the water but i just remembered that it’s waterproof, hahaha,” she said, hastily breaking eye contact and spraying the rest of her hair purple.
“Hey, did Hitch leave already?” Sunny asked, getting up from the table.
“Yeah, he left early to help arrange the auditorium for the first graders party,” Izzy said,
Shit shit, what am i gonna do i ran out of the waterproof one last week, maybe i could speed off to one of the beauty stores or something, what time is it, shit ill be late to school by then, what if I steal Pipp’s one then, no she’ll immediately get suspicious, THINK ZIPP THINK! Ok i think wearing my full body suit, it covers my arms and legs, that could work, but ill need to secure the shower rooms as soon as i get out of the damn pool, which means I’ll need to avoid the damn teacher talking to me about joining the swim team, that could be tric—
“You good Zipp?” Pipp asked, now sliding a book into her bag adorned with sequins all over. “You kind of went all pale and your eyes were wide as saucers,”
Shaking her head violently and turning her head towards her sister, she replied, “Huh, what, me? I’m fine, i was just thinking about today’s um, uh, dance practice, in gym class, i really suck at that, now, i need to pack my bag,” Sprinting off into her room she slammed the door and stood against the door. Rummaging through her closet, she found a folded up a body suit that was exactly the same colour as her skin. She tossed it onto the bed and grabbed a bottle of concealer.
“Guys let’s go, the bus’ll be here in a couple minutes,” she heard Izzy say from the hall.
“Coming-Hey!” Pipp said as Zipp took a quick picture of her in the mirror applying lipstick with her lips puckered up. Smirking at her, she dashed towards the hall before she could say anything.
In school
“Alright, everyone grab your suits and go change i want everyone back within 10 minutes, and that’s being generous, hustle guys!”
As they all dashed towards the hangers, Zipp was ahead of all of them and dashed into the cubicle. Locking herself inside, she changed into the scratchy full swim suit, after putting on her body suit. Inspecting her arms and legs and being satisfied with her looks, she grabbed her dark blue jeans and dark green T-shirt before leaving the stall.
“Wow, Davis, you look so bright today, did you finally take my advice and use toilet cleaner to clean your face?”
Zipp looked slightly down and smirked at her. The red-haired girl, Whitney Sugar Moonlight, looked up at her, her cronies, Young Rosedust Clive, Courtney Lily Melody and Violette Marcy Barette laughing at her. The 4 thought they were “of prestige” as they all had 3 names, shocker.
“Yea i did, how about you take your own advice someday, it could help with all that acne someday,” She said, walking past her in long strides, a satisfied smirk on her face as she heard her scoff.
“Ok glad everyone’s finally done, now your swim test is in 2 weeks, so we’re gonna have a practice today. Im gonna group you guys up by roll number, so like 1, 2 & 3 are gonna be in one group, so on so forth, now hustle!” Ms Abbott clapped her hands together as she urged them to get into their groups.
Izzy, Hitch and Gloria Gisella were in the same group, while Sunny was with Mistella Dawn and Percy Smith. While Mistella was a friend of Sunny’s, she had a small grudge towards Percy, who had once accused her of cheating during an exam and got her into a whole set of interrogations and footage watching. That was a long week.
Zipp groaned. She was the last one in her class, the second last was Rosedust and third last was, oh crap, Sugar.
This is gonna be a looong day She thought miserably as she went to stand with them.
“Alright, let’s start with the last group today, Sugar’s group let’s go,” she said calling them out. Zipp swallowed. Sugar and Rosedust were both in the school’s swim team, and coming second among them seemed like a far fetch to Zipp. While she knew she was good, she didn’t know how good they were.
“Alright on the count of 3, in position, Zipp! What did I say last week, you look at the water, not at your feet!” She screamed.
She cringed internally as Ms Abbott started counting.
As soon as heard 3, her feet pushed her off the board and into the cold water. Her muscles tensed as she treaded water, gasping for air less frequently than the average swimmer would. She kept her eyes closed, despite the teacher always telling them to keep their eyes open to avoid changing direction or colliding with something. After what felt like 200m, she opened her eyes and caught sight of the red line marking the end right in front of her. She continued to swim until the red line passed beneath her. She straightened in the water and gasped for air. Wiping her eyes, she was shocked to see Sugar and Rosedust just over halfway done. Pushing herself out of the water, she stood up and walked back to the group.
“Damn, she beat Sugar!”
“Can you believe it?”
“I wouldn’t have if i hadn’t seen it with my own eyes,”
“Who knew she could beat Sugar?”
She folded her arms and held her elbows as she made her way in between people whispering about her.
“Oh my gosh Zipp! You beat her!” Izzy gushed, shaking her shoulders aggressively.
“Hey, i guess you live and learn,” she said, shrugging and returning to her spot.
As she watched the last group plunge into the water, she got ready to grab her tote bag from the shelf and dash into the cubicle.
Every muscle of her body tensed as she saw the teacher open her mouth.
“Alright, you guys are dismissed, remember your swim test is 2 weeks away!” She said, the second part of her sentence going unheard by the group of teenagers dashing towards the shelves. To her relief, she got a cubicle and locked herself in with shaking hands. Sighing, she hung the bag on the hanger, removed the concealer from the bag and placed it on the small board in the corner, acting as a wide ledge. Quickly showering, drying up and dressing into the same clothes as before, she hurried to apply the concealer on her arms, covering up what looked like Korean rice cakes flattened against her skin. Rubbing them as hard as she could and ignoring the severe burning sensation. Agony coursed through her veins but she focussed on nothing but covering up the lotion. With her arms done, she bent down and folded her jeans up an inch. The lotion seemed to be wearing off a little at the sides, her skin appearing a little red and irritated. Rolling her eyes and scoffing, she applied the concealer and rubbed it in until it looked believable. She straightened up and toweled her hair dry, careful not to rub too hard lest she rub off the hair colour. Stuffing the towel in a plastic bag, she tossed the concealer into the tote bag and left the cubicle in a rush.
“Alright, who can tell me the name and exact atomic mass of element 35 of the Periodic table, let’s see, Ms Davis let’s have you answer,”
She rolled her eyes and answered, “Bromine, and its atomic mass is 79.904,”
Mr Quince narrowed his eyes and said “Was that a hint of arrogance I heard, Ms Davis? You think you’re really smart is it, if that’s so come up here and list all the Elements of the bottom 2 rows and their atomic masses. I’m not even asking to draw it out. If you can get even half of them, I’ll not assign a single piece of homework to you for the next 2 weeks, “
Everyone turned around to stare at her. Sitting at the back had one disadvantage; if people were to stare at you, you could see every single one of their curious eyes burning through your soul.
Standing up, the chair legs scraped on the floor, echoing throughout the silent classroom, the only noise heard was the noise in her own head.
Oh i cant wait to show this son of a bitch the awesome shit i can do, oh im gonna have so much fun with no homework for 2 weeks
Taking the chalk from his open palm, she raised her hand to the board, closed her eyes and opened them, a fire lit in them. Writing on the board, her shoulders relaxed, as though the burdens she had been carrying had all be alleviated. Halfway through the first row, she din’t stop. Murmurs arose from the class that grew louder as she completed the first row. As she shifted her hand lower to start the second row, somebody shouted, and she froze.
“Let’s go Zipp! You can do it! Don’t stop now!”
The voice sounded awfully familiar, but she willed her hand to keep writing and her head to not turn around to see who had said that. As she progressed further, she heard another shout. Ignoring it she continued to write furiously. Another element, another shout. Within a couple of seconds, the whole class was filled with cheers as though she was an Olympic runner sprinting at the end of a race. Undeterred by Mr Quince’s shouts to quieten down, they continued to cheer her on. As she finished the last element, she raised the chalk in the air and the class erupted in applause.
With the most smug smirk she could show, she passed the chalk back to a shocked Mr Quince, “So i take it i won’t be getting homework for 2 weeks? Thanks,”
Striding back to her seat, she felt a little queasy from the rush of adrenaline, then remembered about that shout. As people around her gushed to her, she could only hear one thing in her head. The voice still echoed in her head, and she looked to the right, right beside the door. The boy was wearing a black hoodie, his hazelnut brown hair exposed. That feeling returned to her; that boy was with her in only Mr Quince’s class, and he was the most shy and quiet kid she had ever seen. Having heard his voice and matching his hair colour to it, pieces of the puzzle snapped together. Was he whom she thought he was?
Him? No way, i havent seen him since…forever. There’s no way
The bell ringing snapped her out of her thoughts as she packed her bag and left eh classroom.
“I gave you everything! And you… you think you can take Pipp from me don’t you?! She should be the one getting all the fame, not you you spoilt bitch! If i ever see you say something against her will, i’ll make sure you have the same fate as your father.”
With one quick motion, she shoved the blade into Zipp’s midsection and she lurched forward, grabbing the knife and holding it there. Letting go of the knife she let the 10-year-old collapse to the floor, blood pooling all around her on the floor. As she fell to her knees, she grasped the knife tightly, not wanting it to move. Gasping in between shallow breaths, she felt blood fill her mouth and escape from her open lips. The blood in her mouth made it even harder for her to breathe.
“Make sure you clean every corner, or you know what happens!”
Although the door slam echoed throughout the room, the sound came blurred to her ears. Knowing the wrath of her she might face, she blinked the tears out of her eyes and gripped the blade tighter, letting out a cry of pain as her trembling hands caused the blade to move a millimetre. Gritting her teeth, she yanked the knife out and fell on her back.
Her first mistake.
Blood flowed freely from her petite midsection as she breathed in heavy, big, slow gasps. Attempting to stem the blood flow with her hands, she placed them over her blood soaked shirt and opened her mouth in an O-shape as pain ripped her apart. Continuing to breathe through laboured breaths, she turned her head to the right and her eyes fell on the purple bottle she hid in the corner. Trying to keep herself conscious, she focussed on the bottle, which was getting harder by the minute. Thank heavens that the bleeding had slowed. Now how to reach the bottle? It seemed so far. Lifting her right hand from her stomach, covered in dark red blood, she tried to drag herself towards the bottle, every inch she moved lighting her on fire. Less than halfway there, her vision started to deteriorate, the lights on the ceiling turning to bright balls of lights and the bottle becoming nothing but a purple spot among all the white paint. She desperately wanted to close her eyes and just lay there for a moment, but she continued to inch towards the bottle, leaving behind a trail of blood which she would have to clean up later. Finally within an arm’s length of the bottle, she grabbed it with her trembling hand. Using her teeth to unstopper the bottle she lifted her left hand off her stomach and poured a couple drops onto her stomach. It burned for a couple seconds, then she felt her insides stitch together as she bit her lip to keep her screams of pain silent. After a while, she felt her stomach with her hand and breathed a sigh of relief upon feeling a flat surface. Using her hands to sit up on the floor, she returned the stopper to the bottle and leaned against the wall behind her. Her shirt still dripping with blood, she lifted it and saw a red line across her stomach. Knowing what could happen if she didn’t hurry up, she stood up with difficulty.
Her second mistake.
The second she stood up, she collapsed on the floor again. Tears burst from her eyes as she clenched her fist on pain, her fingernails digging into her palm. Using her hands, she dragged herself towards the cleaning equipment.
