A young pony discovers a mystery about the medical facility meant to save her life. But perhaps she can find the answer, as she always has, in her dreams.
“Things are often simpler in dreams. But that is also their great deception. If you first assess the meaning of a dream even slightly incorrectly, you will condemn yourself to misinterpretation for the rest of the dream.” - H.R.H. Princess Luna
Hazel Dreams is a young thestral with a knack for dreamwalking and a life threatening illness. She quickly realizes that the medical institute meant to save her life is more than it first seems. Is its purpose sinister or benign? Perhaps she can find the answer as she always has, in dreams.
The prologue has nothing to do with medical mystery and can be read as a standalone if you are not a fan of longer stories.
Court was blissfully short tonight. I do not think I've had a court session this brief in half a generation. And in this age, that notion grows ever more meaningful as the generations grow longer. I hold my darksteel crown in my hooves and study my reflection for a moment. I have come so far, and so far away, from where I began. My reflection smiles back at me.
I think I really am ready for retirement.
I hang my crown on my armor stand and stretch my wings. With that I am free of all my regalia, save my torc. I step through my balcony door. Tonight is perfect for a long flight, and I shall not encumber myself more than I must. I relish the feel of the cold marble on my bare hooves.
I should shed my shoes more often for my patrols. I cannot deny they look impressive, nor can I deny their utility in a fight, but battles are few and far between in this age, and I am the Bringer of Night. I need no regalia to impress or awe. Not anymore.
I take a galloping start and leap from the edge, diving off the tower. My eyes are closed and I reach out with my other senses, feeling and calculating. I flare my wings just as I pass the second story and pull up to match the rooftops of Canterlot. I roll to bleed off my velocity. Then I open my eyes. Two guards flanking the gate have noticed me. The more seasoned of the two salutes me, and I've managed to frighten the other one into a state of dishevelment. He glances at his superior and then also salutes as I cruise overhead. I grin. The Night feels good.
I veer right as I pass the gates and head for the edge of the city. I've been neglecting the northeast recently. My sister has her schedules and routine visits to our cities, I have my patrols. I go where I feel is appropriate, depending on the state of the kingdom, the dreams I have walked, and, admittedly, what I want to do at each moment. The air is fresh and pleasing, but it is a warm night. Somewhere with water would be delightful tonight. Perhaps a quick stop by the Neighagara, and then on to Manehattan. I glide over the city wall and look to my moon rising over the horizon.
By the time I reach Manehattan my moon is shining from almost directly overhead. I tarried far too long resolving the dream of a young griffon on the night train to Canterlot. She was besieged by dancing steaks, of all things.
I understand they are a rarity and delicacy for griffons, given most species that can provide such a cut of meat are sapient, and it was initially nigh unfathomable why she would find them so terrifying. After some educated guesses I eventually gathered they were the result of repressed feelings she harbored for a coworker. I make a mental note to check in on her next week and verify she has properly faced her fears.
I descend through a few clouds and alight upon the Ajax tower, scanning for disturbances or anything that requires immediate attention before I perform my less physical duties. There is a subtle art to dream interpretation. Things are often simpler in dreams. But that is also their great deception. If you first assess the meaning of a dream even slightly incorrectly, you will condemn yourself to misinterpretation for the rest of the dream. Fortunately, while I am not infallible, I have a natural talent for matters of the mind, tempered and made formidable by centuries of experience.
I finish my scan of the area. Satisfied that there are no other situations requiring my immediate attention, I close my eyes and prepare to meditate. Reality pulses and my senses fade away.
The Dreaming looks different to everyone who enters it. Some see doors in a labyrinthine set of hallways, others see a vast forest with scattered pools of water. To me, The Dreaming looks like an endless field of stars that I may walk among. I have yet to meet another dreamwalker that perceives the space between dreams as the constellations I see.
Though, truth be told, I can count the number of other dreamwalkers I have met on the first row of an abacus.
Manehattan has a vast set of constellations, more stars, more dreams, than I can count at a glance. There are a few nearby stars that are immediately interesting. I choose one and walk towards it.
The star I am interested in is tinged red in color, generally indicative of a recurring nightmare or otherwise very disturbed dream. It has a few strong connections to some nearby stars, likely family, and a few scattered connections to far away stars, which are usually coworkers or acquaintances.
I reach out and touch it, and enter the dream.
Fire. Guilt. A sense of neglected duty, and a sense of fear. A unicorn with a blue coat and slicked ginger mane stands at the center of a chemical factory of some kind, being chastised by the forepony for something. He is sweating heavily. I observe silently, waiting to understand the dream before I act.
The view jumps to another part of the factory, where the stallion turns off a furnace of some kind. I watch from a catwalk above. He turns away from it to attend something else, and the furnace re-ignites with a brighter flame. He turns around with a shock and turns off the furnace again. As soon as he turns away, it relights again, and this time the fire blazes out through the gate of the coal chamber. He begins to sweat more heavily. He turns to the furnace again and extinguishes its flame. This time it ignites itself again immediately. He begins to cry.
He makes another futile attempt to turn off the furnace before I turn away to explore other parts of the dream for clues. I follow the catwalk over the wall to another large room and take the stairs to the factory floor. I walk to the end of the room and open the door labeled “Head Office.”
The desk has a variety of unrecognizable objects on it, which I know not to focus too hard on resolving into concepts lest I disturb the dream. The wall however, has a very distinct clipboard, that carries the feel of importance. It has a sheet of paper on it labeled “Boiler Shift Schedule.” On every day, and every time period of the boiler shift schedule, a single name is repeated: “Swift Ribbon.” I believe I understand enough of the dream to intervene now.
I will myself to materialize in the boiler room where Swift is working.
“SWIFT RIBBON,” I call.
He yelps and stumbles away from the boiler, which is now completely engulfed in flame.
“P-princess Luna?! W-what…?”
“This is a dream,” I gently state.
The boiler extinguishes itself this time. His face floods with relief.
“Oh, oh thank the stars!” He sits down and wipes his face with his foreleg. “I… I don't think I could have taken much more of that. I don't know what I was thinking-It's…. It's not even my shift-I don't even work today!”
I pat him on the back. Another advantage to unshod hooves.
“I don't even remember falling asleep.” He sniffles. “Are you sure this is a dream?”
I reach out into the dream with my mind and pluck at the fabric of it. A ripple shimmers through the air, expanding outward from our conversation. Swift Ribbon watches it in wonderment.
“I'm sure,” I declare with absolute certainty. “Were you afraid you had left the boiler running at work?”
“I-yes. I forgot to last week. My boss really chewed me out.”
“Have you had this dream before?”
“No, I don't think so.”
I frown. Swift Ribbon is still sweating, oddly, though he looks much calmer. In truth this dream did not feel like it would become recurrent or otherwise jeopardize the unicorn's psychology. It was better I brought this to a conclusion and patrolled the Manehattan dreamscape for more pressing dreams.
“Be at ease.” I smile. “You are not responsible for any disasters, and you have learned from your mistake. And besides—” I wink, “if it truly worries you I can check your boiler after I patrol the dreams of the other ponies here. Where do you work?”
“Oh thank you Princess! It's the Polomare plant, I work in the dye processing area. You don't have to though, I live right next door and I can check on it myself if I want to.”
“It would be no problem, Swift Ribbon. Will you be fine?”
“I think so Princess!”
He's still sweating, but I let it go. Royalty makes some ponies nervous after all. Some for different reasons than others.
I regret winking. The last thing I needed was for this dream to go purple.
“I see.” I raise my horn to the sky. “Pleasant dreams then!”
I pull myself from the fabric of his dream and re-enter the dreaming.
Honestly. My sense for dreams must be off-kilter today. I surely thought that Swift Ribbon's dream was of some significance. I frown and look around the stars of Manehattan's dreams. My eyes widen at the sight of a cluster of dull flickering stars to my right that might—
“Princess?”
A small voice from behind. The shock almost knocks me out of The Dreaming. My eyes wide, I turn to find a small thestral filly with a grey coat and light yellow mane. She couldn’t be more than 13 years of age.
She looks at me with wide hazel eyes and quivering lip, and asks:
“Am I dead?”
It takes me a beat to gather my thoughts and respond.
Maybe two beats.
She continues to look at me with that sad expression.
“Neigh, child,” I begin, “You are not dead. You are in the space between dreams.”
Her sad expression gives way to one of confusion.
“You are quite young for a dream walker,” I continue. “Is this your first time in this place?”
I can see in her face that her confusion has been doubled by my inquiry. That is not what I expected. She looks up at me.
“I thought I was dead.” Her lip begins to tremble again. “There was a fire… and the floor started to go down and mom jumped to push me—”
She begins to cry in earnest.
“And then I was here.”
A pit begins to form in my stomach as I consider a possibility I overlooked. We are still in the part of the Dreaming representing the east side of Manehattan, and if there is a real fire, there was more to Swift Ribbon's discomfort in his dream. I sit next to the child as she cries and she leans against my side.
“Child,” I ask, “what is your name?”
“Hazel,” she responds.
I gently lift her chin with the tip of my wing. “Hazel, I need you to tell me precisely where you live. Your life may be in danger.”
“4320 Hoofdale Way. Apartment 404.” She pulls back and wipes her eyes with the crook of her foreleg. “It's in the textile district.”
I nod, and with the mental balance brought by a millennium of battling one's self, I close one eye and open it in the physical world. I glance toward the east side of the city. There is smoke, and a flickering red beneath it. I pull myself hastily back to the dreaming to consider my situation.
My first thoughts are a few colorful curses. For all my mental balance I must have said some of them out loud because Hazel looks shocked.
Fie, and fie upon me!
I misinterpreted Swift Ribbon's dream. I am a fool! There was no subtlety to its meaning, he was simply far too warm in the physical world. This situation is EXTREMELY unfortuitous. The fire must have started just after I first entered the dreaming. Though time moves more slowly in The Dreaming, I have no more time to lose. I glance around, taking in the count of the stars I see in The Dreaming to quickly assess how many are in danger. Far too many stars around me are flickering and losing brightness. I must act quickly. Fortunately, Twilight did me the courtesy of enchanting—
Damnation! Twilight's haste enchantment lies abandoned at my armor stand with my shoes. I can activate the distress spell I keep on my torc, and my smoke form alone will have to do until help arrives. But perhaps—I can keep at least one pony safe with certainty.
“Hazel, do you see this here?”
“This star?” She points a hoof at the dull, grey, flickering thing and nods.
A pit forms in my stomach at its lifeless appearance.
“That is a dream, Hazel. Dreams that look dull and flicker are all ponies in danger from the fire. I am coming to get you Hazel, and every other pony in danger from the fire.”
“P-princess?”
“They are arranged roughly as the ponies are positioned in the physical world. Look around and see if there are safe areas.”
She looks around and shivers.
“I'm going to help wake you up now. If you can get to a safe place, do so. If not, try to stay calm, and cover your snout with something so you don't breathe the smoke.”
“I-I—” She puts on a brave face, glancing briefly at the dull gray flickering star. “Okay. I can do this.”
I flare my wings and prepare myself mentally to cast a few spells as soon as I exit my trance.
“I will come get you shortly, Hazel. Be well.”
I see the stars reflected in Hazel's eyes as she begins to flicker out of the Dreaming. I do not wait for her to wake fully. I myself must wake quickly and act decisively. The last thing that occurs to me as I leave is Hazel's description of the dream I pointed to. She also perceived it as a star. I will attend to that when time is not of the essence. I need to get to 4320 Hoofdale Way.
I barely spare a moment to activate the emergency signaling rune on my torc before I dissolve myself into smoke and fly. Sensation is limited with a self-applied transmissible particle spell, but I gauge the approximate extent of the fire as 2 full city blocks, centered on the Polomare plant. The wind is blowing out to sea, so spread into the city will be slowed, but there are still a great many ponies in danger.
Even though the majority of the smoke is being removed by the wind, there is a slight haze here and it becomes difficult to see clearly while in my smoke form. I coalesce slightly to gain more sensation. A full 2 blocks around the Polomare plant have been set alight. I can feel the heat slightly even from here.
I pass some ponies walking away from the blaze.
4480, 4425, 4340, 4330, 4320.
A group of ponies is running from the building, but here is no sign of Hazel among them. I reform myself fully and carefully fly around the outside of the building. I don't see a sign of her outside or on any of the fire escapes. I frown. The first three floors glow with a dangerous heat, and smoke billows from many of the windows of the fourth floor as well. I hear sirens. The fireponies have begun to arrive. They will have too many buildings to cover.
I cannot wait for them.
I split myself into two forms. Two sets of eyes and ears is better than one, even if multiform limits the complexity of my thought processes. One of me enters the north end of the building through an open window above the fire escape, and the other of me observes from outside to better assess the situation.
The north end of the building has the higher numbers. 420, 421 around the corner. Just before I turn to explore the lower numbers, an aquamarine pegasus bursts out of 418, coughing, and I assist her. She seems scared, but oddly unsurprised to see me. I assist her and move to fly her out of the window at the end of the hall, but she pushes me aside.
“No. Princess, I can fly myself out. She said to tell you there’s nopony else on this floor, but three more ponies on the floor below us who haven’t left yet. You have to help them. Go!”
“She?” I ask, but the mare is gone, as must I be.
With my first self I continue through the hallway to room 404. The door is already open, and I peer inside. The floor has given way and the entire room below is alight. There is debris, and the figure of a dark-coated pony with bat-like wings lies below. I jump down in desperation and begin to clear material as quickly as I can manage.
My second self I draw from watching outside to break into the third floor window on the north side away from the flame. There is a pale gray unicorn pointing her horn at the window, ready to blast through. She looks at me in relief and powers down her horn. There is an earth pony waiting behind her. The stairwell at the other end appears barred by flames. Three of the doors in this hallway have been broken. I sense that the door at the end is where my first self is. I grab the two ponies and fly out of the window.
My first self can release the pony trapped by debris. It is a thestral with a midnight blue coat and a jet black mane. An adult. A dead adult. This is not Hazel. This must be Hazel’s mother. I cannot afford to tarry so I sling the thestral across my back and buck out the door.
I carry Hazel’s mother to where my second self has deposited the other ponies. An ambulance has arrived. Some additional survivors are coming out of the ground floor door. Two pegasi are carrying a unicorn and an earth pony down from the roof.
I coalesce my multiform to scan the crowd properly. A black earth pony bursts out of a ground floor window. She spots me and bows.
“Princess! The little bat girl says I’m the last one in the building aside from her and her neighbor. She says they’ll be on the roof.”
I nod and immediately take for the roof.
A dark blue earth pony is on the top of the building. He waves to me as I ascend. He has a familiar little thestral clinging to his back. She seems still asleep.
“She’s been finding all the ponies,” the pony begins in a gruff voice. “Finding them in their dreams and telling me who needs help. She says we’re the last ones in this building, but she’s trying to wake up more people in the next building.”
I pick up one of them under each foreleg and glide down. Hazel’s eyes flicker open, and she begins to cry.
I deposit the blue stallion and attend to her.
“She’s gone, isn’t she?”
I nod empathetically and venture- “You didn’t wake up after I left?”
“No. I... I went into her dream.”
I understand now. I hold Hazel as her tears redouble.
“You are very brave, Hazel. You did an amazing thing today. You saved lives.”
She’s weeping gently, and silence seems appropriate. I simply hold her.
I see purple on the horizon, and with a flash of lightning my backup is here. Twilight unleashes a beam of light into the sky. A storm begins to gather and within seconds there is a torrential downpour.
She stops near me for a quick hug and then moves to coordinate with the emergency responders.
The rest of the night passes in a blur. I assist moving the injured and freeing trapped ponies, and Twilight extinguishes flames wherever the fireponies cannot.
Finally I rest in the back of an ambulance with Hazel, who has had her right wing bandaged. Her burns are mild enough that they will heal with time.
We never did find Swift Ribbon. He must have been the one of the first to perish. My blunder cost him his life.
I shake my head. No. Not just my blunder, but poor circumstances as well. If I weren't here to witness the blaze, dozens more would surely have perished.
It does not do to dwell on mistakes of the past once we have ascertained how to avoid them in the future. I should be glad I managed to save what ponies I did. Like Hazel.
I look at Hazel fitfully attempting to rest in the stretcher. She is a prodigy. Dreamwalking at this age, and so proficiently too.
There is one good thing to come from tonight, and I will be watching her with great interest as she matures.
“Well, if you’ve already taken the medication, I don’t need to give it to you. And just press the button if you need anything, Hazel.”
“Thank you, Mister Mint,” I reply.
My right hip is still sore, so I turn on my left side and gently lean back against the bed.
I close my eyes, and focus. The drum beats once, and I'm there among the stars.
It's my favorite place to be these days. There are less stars here than in the city, but there are enough kids and nurses and doctors to make a few constellations here and there.
The drum beats again, and I smile. The facility might be dull by day, but now I have all night to explore and maybe find a new friend. Some of the ponies are in isolation. That means that nopony is allowed in without masks and those funny see-through suits to make sure they don't give them any germs. Doctor Glance says it's because as part of the procedure, they have to make it so that our bodies can't attack any bad stuff from outside the body. Otherwise they might accidentally attack the good stuff that the doctors put in. I asked her why the body couldn't tell what was good and bad. She said that most of the time it can, but sometimes it can't.
Just like for the cancer.
The cancer is bad, but my body doesn't know it's bad. Otherwise I wouldn't need to be here anyway.
The drum beats again. The Dreaming feels like home no matter where I go. I learned to dreamwalk when I was 12. Even the Princess can't remember any younger dreamwalkers. It didn't get me my cutie mark though. I wasn't very good at it, and I couldn't even do it again for a long time. I used to think that if I didn't have my cutie mark, then I wasn't special. The Princess says I am though, and it took me a while to believe her. I'm starting to understand what she meant, about how everything is connected in the Dreaming. I'm starting to understand why she wanted so hard for me to not be afraid of it. It's calm here.
I look at a small constellation of bright stars as the drum beats again. Younger ponies have brighter dreams. I think that these stars are for the foals in the isolation rooms. They're not very close together, but they have connections to some of the stars that I think are for the hospital staff.
I have it easy when it comes to making friends. Ponies like you when they've already seen you in their dreams. Hopefully I can find some friends my age here. Unfortunately I can't reach Shady or Mister Ravioli from here when I dreamwalk. I hope they're happy to see me when I'm back. Maybe I can send a letter and get them to visit me some time if they're free. The Princess says she's coming to visit me tomorrow though, so I'm excited about that.
The drum echoes my heart again, and I pause. In the corner of my eye I spot a dull, gray, flickering star. I frown. That's usually not a good sign. This star is close to the constellation of kids, but definitely not a part of it.
I take a deep breath. As an apprentice dreamwalker, and the only dreamwalker in the facility, it is my duty to safeguard the night. I suddenly notice that my wings are flared. I tuck them back in with a frown. There's no reason to be afraid right now. I repeat that to myself a few times, then reach towards the star.
Everything's bright red for a moment. I close my eyes. The drumbeats come quickly, and I can't tell if I'm falling up or floating down. I feel dizzy and I want to throw up. I haven't done this bad going into a dream in years. Eventually I feel my hooves touch solid ground. I open my eyes and blink.
Dark, and empty. The ground is a dull grey and goes on as far as I can see. The whole sky is black, and everything seems like it's obscured by a dull haze. No one should have a dream like this unless they’re dying. This must be the sickest foal in the whole hospital. The drumbeats are still fast. They are always faster inside a dream, but the drumbeats here are much faster than they should be. If I squint I swear the darkness turns the slightest tinge of red with each beat.
“Hello?” I call into the darkness. “Is anyone there?”
There is no answer.
The Princess says dreams like this are not really dreams. They're what the inside of your mind looks like when you're asleep but not dreaming.
I turn around and try to make sense of my surroundings. Now that I'm used to the dark I can tell the sky really is turning red with each beat of the drum. The red is brighter towards my left. I feel like I'll find something if I start going that way. It's a good idea to listen to your feelings in a dream. I also feel like I won't like what I find if I start going that way. I shiver and start walking towards the red anyway.
It is not long before I notice a shadow against the red sky. It's a huge spire, shaped like a curved cone, with round openings on it. The openings are in odd places, and some of them go straight through. They almost look like holes were cut out of the sides. It looks strange and out-of-place.
I walk up to the structure, but I can't find any way inside. I try flying up to some of the lower windows. It turns out that they actually are just holes. There isn't an inside to the structure at all. It's just a solid piece of smooth stone with holes in it. I sit in one of the holes to try to see if there is anything else in the distance, but I don't see anything but the pulsing dark sky.
The Princess says that when somepony is asleep, but not dreaming, the only things you can find in their mind are fragments of what they hold most dear. She also said that it is a terrible invasion of privacy to walk into their mind, unless you know they truly need their help. I haven't been in a dream like this since the fire. I know this is the dream of a foal who's dying. I want to help, somehow. Maybe I should just trust the doctors here to do save this foal. I don't even know what this stone means, and I feel like I can't do anything until I figure out what it means.
I sit back and make myself comfortable. There's a few dim twinkling dots in the sky that I didn't notice before. Are those- they're definitely stars. I squint up at them, but I don't remember my constellations well enough to tell if they are in the right places. The Princess would chastise me. The stars are growing brighter now, and the red beats of the sky are getting dimmer. It feels like this dream is becoming a full, real dream. Maybe I didn’t need to be here after all.
A sudden shiver runs down my back.
I feel like I'm being watched.
I peek out from the hole I'm sitting in and look around slowly. Something moves in the corner of my eye. I glance down at it, but nothing is there. “Hello?” I call. A shadow peeks out from one of the holes at the bottom. Two hazel eyes open and look up at me, but quickly retreat back into the hole.
I blink to myself.
“I'm not going to hurt you,” I say. “I'm just here to make sure you're okay.”
There is no response from the foal in the hole.
“I'm coming down now,” I announce.
I tip myself over the edge and glide in a big circle down to the ground.
The foal is curled up in the corner of the hole, but she looks up at me when she hears me land. She has hazel eyes, the same color as mine, and a jet black coat with a grey mane. I'm instantly a little jealous because her mane is the same color I wish mine was.
I shake my head to focus on the job I have to do.
“Hey there,” I tell her. She looks up at me curiously. “You don't need to be afraid. This is just a dream.”
I can tell she's still a little scared of me. I'm used to that. Ponies sometimes do that when they see my wings. I fold my wings against my side just in case.
“My name is Hazel. What's yours?”
She blinks at me and opens her mouth, though she doesn't say anything.
I sit gently and wait for her to be comfortable.
She closes her mouth and opens it again. Her two black leathery wings flutter slightly. I must not have noticed them before against her coat in the dim light. She's a thestral like me. She sits up and looks intently at me.
“Hazel,” she whispers.
I smile. “That's me! What's your name?”
She blinks, and then smiles a small smile. She reminds me of mom a little. I blink slowly to clear my head. Happy thoughts only. Hearth's Warming with mom, playing catch with mom, eating my favorite, Mom's famous roast-
“Asparagus,” she says.
I blink at her. It must be obvious I'm confused because she explains.
“I'm Asparagus.”
My face brightens. “What a coincidence,” I say. “That's my favorite vegetable!”
“Mine too,” she whispers. I smile. She slowly smiles too.
We both start laughing.
The stars in the sky begin to shine brightly, and the ground around us begins to turn green. The moon peeks up from the horizon. Asparagus crawls out of her hole and sits next to me by the spire. Lush grass springs out of the ground around us. The big black stone spire stays the same, but somehow it looks less strange now. It shines beautifully in the moonlight. It looks pretty, like it's meant to be there.
“Hazel?”
“Mhmm?”
“You said this was all a dream?” She frowns.
“Uh huh!”
“Why does it feel so real?”
With those words the haze in the distance disappears. Asparagus seems to become more solid too. I smile knowingly.
“It's hard to tell sometimes that we're dreaming until we wake up.”
She shakes her head at this.
“It doesn't feel this real when I'm awake.”
I frown. She really must be the sickest foal here. Suddenly she squints and looks at me suspiciously.
“Are you real?”
I laugh. I expected her to ask sooner or later.
“I'm real. I'll find you sometime when we're both awake and then you'll see.”
She scrunches up her face. It's kind of adorable.
“But then how are you here?”
“I'm a dreamwalker,” I explain. “It means I can go into other people's dreams and talk to them, or help them fight their nightmares.”
She makes an 'O' with her mouth before she grins and says:
“That's really cool!”
It's obvious that Asparagus is a lot younger than me. I wonder what kind of disease she has that has her so sick.
“Are you one of Doctor Glance's patients?” I ask as a few flowers pop up near us.
“Doctor Glance?” She blinks. “Yes. I like her. She takes good care of me.”
“She seems nice,” I say. “She came to the train station to make sure I got here okay yesterday.” I shift my leg as a rock pops up next to me. I'm a little jealous again. The way her dream looks, it seems like Asparagus spent a lot of time outdoors. I don't get to go outside the city much. It's nice to see how green the grass is, even if it's only a dream. The sky begins to turn dark blue.
“I'm a cancer patient” I tell her. “I'm here so they can cure me. What are you here for?”
She scrunches up her face.
“I don't know what I am.” She frowns. “I have something missing.”
She stands up and smiles. The top of her ears only come up to my shoulder. “I'm getting better though.”
“That's good,” I say. I stand up too. Theres an orange glow at the edge of the sky, and I start having the feeling of a dream coming to an end.
“It feels like you're going to wake up soon,” I tell her. “It was nice to meet you, Asparagus.”
I raise my hoof to her. She looks at it for a bit, and then lifts her hoof and bumps mine. She giggles.
“Bye Asparagus, I'll try to find you when we're both awake, okay?”
“Bye Hazel!”
My vision goes white.
I wake up in my hospital bed. The moon is really high up outside, so I have some time to go back to sleep and dream some dreams of my own.
I grin and hug my pillow to myself. Just like that, I've made my first friend here. The Princess would be proud.
My pee bag has filled up, so I gently empty it into the container Mister Mint gave me and clip it back to the band around my leg. I settle into my bed and I’m asleep before I know it.
From: Dr. Vital Stroke To: Dr. Second Glance Subject: Morphograft referral for recurrent renal SCC
Patient Referral 13-5-2013 Hazel Dreams, 14 y.o.
Hazel Dreams is an astute, pleasant 14 year old thestral with locally recurrent small cell renal cell carcinoma. Due to her young age. I am recommending her for the morphograft procedure viz. total organ replacement at the Sparkle Institute. She is a Polomare Textile Fire survivor and I believe she is an ideal candidate for the procedure.
History of Present Illness: Hazel first presented roughly 18 months ago to me with progressive painless hematuria and a 1 cm nodule on her right kidney found on amniomorphic scan. Biopsy showed high grade small cell renal cell carcinoma. Given her young age and the assumed low probability of recurrence she was treated with partial nephrectomy in May 2011, pathology report showed negative margins, 0/7 lymph nodes positive for tumor. Tumor genetic analysis showed MVHCII mutation which historically has been associated with spontaneous tumors.
Follow up scans at 4 months, and 8 months showed no evidence of disease. Followup scan at 1 year showed one new nodule (0.3 cm) in the left kidney, too small to biopsy. She was asymptomatic at the time, and surveillance was decided upon as the best course of action. Followup at 16 months shows one new nodule in the left kidney (1.1 cm), and a new nodule in the right kidney (0.6 cm). Biopsy of both kidney nodules show high grade small cell renal cell carcinoma. Genetic analysis showed MVHCII+TRAD mutation consistent with histophenoline exposure.
In early April two weeks after that scan, Hazel presented emergently with severe flank pain. A left sided hydronephrosis secondary to enlarging mass was discovered for which a nephrostomy was performed. Amniomorphic scan at that time showed left sided kidney nodule at 1.2 cm, and showed apparent breach of the capsule with perinephric local spread. She was started on Tiwrex+Cisplatin.
She has received 4 cycles of Tiwrex+Cisplatin to date. Followup scan last week at 19 months showed minimal response- left kidney nodule is at 0.5cm and her right kidney nodule is at 0.7cm. She has also since developed persistent pain from scattered nephrolithiasis in the left kidney, likely secondary to Tiwrex treatment. Chemo was halted 4 weeks ago for bone marrow recovery. Blood counts have normalized and bone marrow quality is expected to be sufficient for morphograft procedure.
Social History: Hazel currently lives in the Happy Home for Youth in East Manehattan. She expressed some concern about not being able to see her friends, but seems amenable to a stay in Canterlot for several weeks as she has friends in the area who will be able to visit her. She has no drug or alcohol use history.
Her case matches similar cases from the upper east side of Manehattan, thought to be to in-utero exposure to histophenolene from the Polomare plant. Though the long term effects of histophenolene are not fully known, it is agreed upon by experts that it greatly increases the risk for renal cancers regardless of age group. It is for this reason that I believe Hazel would benefit greatly from total organ replacement.
Family History: Her family history is insignificant for any cancer syndromes.
Thank you for your continued dedication to excellent care, and I hope you will consider taking Hazel Dreams as a patient.
Sincerely, Vital Stroke, M.D.
From: Dr. Second Glance To: Dr. Vital Stroke
I'd be happy to! Looks like she's been through a lot. She indeed seems like an excellent candidate. Will keep your office posted about her progress.
Thank you for your referral, Second Glance, M.D.
From: Dr. Second Glance To: Dr. Vital Stroke
Vites, our coordinator here mentioned her bill is being footed by the ROYAL TREASURY directly instead of the Canterlot Charity fund like usual. What!?
The first warm rays of the sun hit my face and I slowly wake up. I blow my hair out of my eyes and sit up. I feel a lot better than I did yesterday in the facility. I only had to spend a short time without magic when I entered the facility and they took my bone marrow sample and a bunch of blood from me. Doctor Glance told me in that part of the facility all the magic is totally blocked off. She called it the isolation something. Doctor Glance told me I’d have to go there after my procedure. She said ponies feel terrible in there because there's a lot less magic around. She said it takes two nights before most patients acclimate to the lack of magic. I’m not looking forward to feeling like that again but I know it will be good for me to get the procedure.
I hop out of my bed, land on the floor, and immediately regret testing my energy. My left side hurts real bad. I wince and shut my eyes as I wait for it to pass. Something is making a hissing noise like air escaping. Doctor Stroke, my other cancer doctor, said this is what pain from your kidney feels like. You'd think it would just hurt on your sides where your kidneys are on the x-rays. But sometimes the pain runs all the way down between your legs, and sometimes it runs into your back and you're scared to move that whole side of your body.
As my pain starts to get better, I realize the hissing noise is me. I stop breathing through my teeth and shake my left leg slowly. That makes the pee bag flap against my leg. I need to empty it, but first I should take my medicine before the pain gets worse. I carefully step over to my backpack without bending my body too much and unzip it.
I push my hoodie aside and my hoof touches the book I brought with me. The Young Daring Do series is really good, but “Young Daring Do and the Changeling Prince” isn't going help me much right now. I toss it onto my bed and dig deeper. I hear the rattle of the pill bottle and fumble with it for a second before I pull it out and get it open. I only have two left. I'll have to ask if there's something else they can give me while I'm here. I put both in my mouth and drink the glass of water somepony has conveniently left on my nightstand.
That was probably Miss Jenny, my griffon nurse during the day. She seems pretty cool.
It's going to take a few minutes for the pills to work so I climb carefully back onto the edge of my bed. I sweep my hair away from my eyes and get ready to empty my pee bag. Jenny gave me a container to empty it into because she said the doctors like to watch how much water goes in and out of my body.
I hear a padding sound coming from the doorway, followed by two knocks at my doorframe
“Hazel?”
It’s Jenny. I can tell immediately from the voice and the tuft of hair with a green streak poking out from behind the curtain. She puts a breakfast tray on a counter near the door and takes a little cup with two pills in it.
“Oh you’re up! Good. I brought you your medicine. Is that a bottle your own pain medications? Did you take one already?”
I nod.
“Alright,” she takes one of the pills out of the cup, “I guess I’ll just be giving you this one. It should also help make the pain better, it relaxes your kidneys a little bit.”
I take the pill, as Miss Jenny works with my pee bag. Looks like she is going to empty it for me.
“Thank you, Miss Jenny.” It’s important to be polite to people who take care of you.
“You’re welcome, Hazel!” She smiles. “Actually, do you mind if I take your pill bottle to your cubby, and use our medications for the pain while you’re here?”
I’m confused by this, and I think Miss Jenny can tell because she shakes her head as she works, and explains.
“We like to track when all the medications are given, so that we don’t accidentally give you too much of something.” She’s done emptying the bag and walks over to wash her hands. “Too much of your pain medication can be bad for you, and I don’t want to accidentally give you some if we both get busy and I don’t realize you took some already.”
“Oh, okay.” I don’t understand that but that’s okay.
Miss Jenny washes her claws and takes my pill bottle.
“Is your hip still sore from the bone marrow sample?”
I blow my hair out of my eye and turn to look at my flank. It’s not as blank as usual since I still have a bandage at the top of it from yesterday’s needle.
“Nuh-uh. I guess it hurts a little bit but I forgot all about it.”
“Good! Dr. Glance said she used it to start growing your morphograft yesterday evening. Are you ready to give your second sample?”
I nod my head, and a thought occurs to me. “Doctor Glance said something about using changeling magic?”
“That’s right! The grafts are grown using changeling magic.” Jenny notices I’m still confused. “By the time the new kidney goes into you though, they remove all the magic from it. Did you have any questions about it?”
I shake my head.
“Great! Dr. Glance thinks she’ll have your graft ready in a week. Why don’t you have some breakfast, brush your teeth and get ready? I’ll go put this away and take care of some of my other patients. I’ll get you when it’s time.”
I’m a little worried by the number of times I keep hearing about changeling magic. I know I’m not supposed think of changeling magic as bad since it’s mean to the changelings to think that. So I don’t really want to say anything. I think I’ll be able to ask Doctor Glance about it later. It’s probably way different from the changeling magic in my book anyway.
It’s an hour before Jenny comes back. Breakfast was eggs and waffles and it tasted like hospital. I take my book with me because Jenny says I might still be waiting outside for a bit.
Jenny leads me down the hallway and we take an elevator to the first floor. The procedure lab is just behind the main elevators. I remember it from yesterday.
There’s a colt already sitting in one of the chairs waiting outside. He looks a little bit older than me. He’s got a red coat with gray hair and a little bit of stubble on his face. His left arm is short. It only goes up to the elbow and it’s wrapped in a bandage. He looks at me when we walk around the corner and then suddenly looks away at the corner of the hallway.
Jenny sits me one chair away from him. Her amulet beeps and she glances at it. All the nurses wear those amulets and they beep when someone needs them.
“Looks like you have two people ahead of you, Hazel. Are you going to be okay waiting here by yourself?”
I glance briefly at the colt and then nod at Jenny. She knocks on the door and says something to Doctor Glance, and then gallops off towards the elevators.
I idly kick my legs and look over at the colt to see if he wants to talk. He keeps looking away from me.
“Hey,” I say.
He glances briefly in my direction and then looks away again.
“Sup?” He’s still looking away from me.
“My name’s Hazel. Are you getting a bone marrow sample too?”
“Yeah.”
“I had my first one yesterday.”
“Uh-huh.”
“It only seemed to start hurting after Doctor Glance’s anesthesia spell wore off”
“Yeah.”
“But it didn’t hurt for too long.”
He doesn’t reply.
“Sorry. I won’t talk if you want me to be quiet.”
He kicks his legs back and forth.
“Sharp!” he suddenly shouts.
“The… needle? Doctor Glance can use her anesthesia spell if you ask her.”
“I’m Sharp. Sharp Trill.” He finally looks at me. It looks like he’s studying me. I fold my wings against myself a little bit tighter.
“You’re a thestral,” he says, “that’s pretty cool.”
“I guess so?”
“How long have you been here?”
“I just got here yesterday. Did you already get any bone marrow samples before?”
He nods and turns his hip towards me. He has several bandages. His cutie mark looks like a little flute. “This is gonna be my fourth one. Doctor Glance says she needs a lot of bone marrow because she has to make a whole new arm for me.” “Oh,” I say. “I need a new kidney. Doctor Glance says she’ll probably only need two bone marrow samples from me, so this is my last one.”
“Huh.” He blinks and looks around the room again, and then suddenly looks back at me. “Hey you’re a thestral so you know about, like, spooky stuff!”
“I don’t…”
“Because I hear there’s, like, an eeevil changeling in the hospital.”
I blink a few times.
“Changelings aren't evil.” I tell him.
“Yeah but- hey! See you’ve got the Daring Do book too!”
“Careful! Don’t knock it out of my hooves!”
“Sorry but yeah! See you know how the changeling prince isn’t reformed? What if it’s like, an evil changeling!”
I don’t really like this colt, but I want to be nice.
“The book is make-believe though,” I frown, “And what would an evil changeling even want in a hospital?”
“A lot of parents visit their sick kids here! What if it was feeding on all their love!?”
I blow my hair out of my face and frown. “I guess? I don’t know anything about changelings. I’m a pony.”
“Yeah I guess.” He looks disappointed. “But there was a foal here last week that said they saw it.”
The door next to us opens and a pegasus pony with one missing wing limps out. Doctor Glance walks out with him and sits him on one of the chairs on the other side of the door.
“Wait here until one of our ponies comes to walk you upstairs,” she says to him.
Then she turns to look at Sharp. “Sharp? Are you ready for another bone marrow sample?”
He nods loosely, and they both go into the room.
Sharp is a little weird, but I know people say I’m a little weird too, so that’s okay. Princess Luna says to keep an open mind and an open heart.
I see the green flash of Dr. Glance’s anesthesia spell out of the corner of my eye. I open my book to my bookmark and keep reading until Doctor Glance is done with Sharp and calls me in.
