I Love Daring
The oppressive heat of the jungle was beginning to wane as evening descended. Despite the high humidity which could trap warmth like a sodden blanket, the lowering of the sun had the effect of mitigating the tropical temperature, an effect increased by the proximity of the ocean. Waves lapped the sand not too far away from the jungle’s edge, the thick canopy offering sunshade, but the press of trees and the decomposition of leaf litter did more to hinder than help.
Ahuizotl made his way through that slowly falling heat. The legendary creature moved with his usual dexterity along what paths existed in that jungle, coming from inland and slightly north. His destination was a large, elaborate temple situated at the far edge of a cliff which overlooked the ocean.
The temple was a high wonder, composed of perfectly fitted blocks of dressed and polished light gray stone. The whole was in the shape of a step pyramid, with six layers, the top mostly open, though enclosed with screens. Fanciful carvings of plants and animals were all over the face of the pyramid. Each layer had an entrance on every side with access being possible through four staircases that reached up to the very top. An elongated, carved effigy of Ahuizotl lined both sides of each staircase, his head portion at the bottom and his rear at the top.
Ahuizotl arrived at the bottom entrance, brought out a small, cat-shaped amulet, and placed it into a carved section beside the door, then slid a few hidden panels. The door slowly opened with a grinding screech. Just before he went inside, he used his tail-hand to open his mailbox, which looked like a miniature version of the temple, except it had a red flag on the side, which was up. Her plucked out the few envelopes, put the flag down, then entered his temple.
Though it was all stone within, it was painted a muted white, cool blue carpet for a floor. Light shone from a glowing magical crystal in the center of the large, open room. A few spaces had been sectioned off by more stone walls, but the majority of the lowest segment was dominated by what in a modern home would have been a living room. There were even two wicker-back couches and three easy chairs. A television with a custom stone exterior sat in front of one couch, while a record player on an end table made of dark-stained jungle wood stood by the other.
Ahuizotl set down the briefcase he’d been carrying and tossed his golden necklace onto a hatstand by the door. “Daring! I'm home!”
He casually strolled to one couch, flipping through the mail. “Junk mail. Junk mail. Junk mail. Even in the jungle... oh, and another letter from your mother. I hope she is finally out of the, 'I will have my vengeance and strangle you with your own intestines' phase. I got the message the first time she yelled it.”
“Quiet down!” Daring Do hissed quietly. “The baby is finally asleep! And you know what I told you I'd do if you work her up again.” She emerged from one of the partitioned spaces, looking rather stern in her usual khaki explorer's outfit and pith helmet... and apron, which bore a few minor stains.
“As I recall it was 'stop letting me get off until my balls weren't just blue because of my coat,' or words to that effect,” Ahuizotl said softly.
“Right,” Daring said. “And I think you like pony pussy too much to risk that.” She made her way over to Ahuizotl and planted a kiss on his lips, wrapping her forelegs around his neck. “How was work?”
“There's someone new in accounting,” Ahuizotl said, returning Daring's kiss. “He keeps complaining about how I write. I told him, I learned my numbers somewhere other than Equestria. I gave him a codex and a quick lesson. I hope he won't be a problem.”
“Mm, well, that's corporate life,” Daring said casually.
“I don't see why I must work in an office building in a resort city up the coast. You are rich beyond measure thanks to your books. And the movies about your books. And the speaking tours. Television appearances. Endorsements... and I have a room filled with golden treasures, things I did not even steal.”
“You're working because that's how things go,” Daring said with a grin. “You work for a living to keep your head on straight and I stay here and keep this place up, watch the baby and handle meals.” She turned and headed back to the kitchen. “By the way, dinner should be in half an hour. It's baked papaya tonight!”
“Ah yes, I smell it,” Ahuizotl said, before flopping down on the couch. “It should be another delicious creation.”
He settled himself comfortably, before he faced his audience. “And how has it come to this? The legendary Ahuizotl, once a notable raider of temples and villain of some fame, now living an ordinary suburban-type life in the jungle, wedded to Daring Do, my erstwhile archenemy? Well now, that story is truly a strange one...”
- - -
“Another day, another temple,” Daring Do grunted as she slid under a falling door. The dark pinkish stone of the temple surrounded her, barely seen in the wavering light of the enchanted ever-burning torches. She had just managed to lose Ahuizotl and find the right path through the labyrinthine temple's depths, well on her way to the legendary Necklace of Tlazolteotl. She wasn't sure what it was, but if Ahuizotl wanted it...!
She plunged through the temple, barely catching a glimpse of the elaborate carvings and paintings on the walls, twisting her way through the final stone passages until she reached a huge, inner space. Magic gems gave and refracted light to every corner, revealing the room was mostly empty, save for the carvings and paintings common to the rest of the temple.
Four pillars rose up to the ceiling: perfectly square, with the middle portion removed, making them resemble four smaller pillars in the middle, about a pony's height from the floor up a pony's height from the ceiling. Inside those hollows were obsidian cylinders. The color of the stone of the room was far more pinkish, a brighter tone than the others. At the center of the huge room rose a miniature version of the step pyramid itself, topped with the necklace.
Daring dashed to the necklace, muscles ready to send her out of the path of the death traps and entangling traps she was certain would protect such a treasure. Nothing came of it, however: she made it to the central pyramid and up one of the sides oddly unmolested.
The necklace rested against a small jutting stone. The necklace portion itself looked like it had been made of dried rubber vines and gold. The pendant was a mix of gold and stone, in the style of many of the artifacts Ahuizotl sought, with blocky features and stiff posing. It looked very much like a feminized Ahuizotl, except it had two faces, both of them made of gold-covered ochre stone, with the stone showing at the ends of their snouts.
Daring picked up the necklace and smiled. She had done it. She’d beaten Ahuizotl. Picking up the necklace caused the stone against which it had rested to slowly descend into the central dais. She watched as the four pillars trembled, the obsidian cylinders shattering into a tinkling storm of black glass pieces.
Typical.
Unlike most instances of an activated temple trap, nothing started falling down. Rather, the ceiling began shedding dust and flecks of stone, and a tremendous grinding noise echoed around the chamber. The blocks at the center of the ceiling slowly pulled away to reveal a long, narrow shaft that showed sunlight at the far end. It looked wide enough to admit a pony body.
Daring flicked her wings open, pushed off from the ground and gave a huge flap, sending her rushing towards her only egress. She passed the entrance with ease, pulling her limbs in to fit in the tight passage. Her wings just barely had clearance in the narrow path and she had to remain straight on, lest she clip the side and fall to her doom.
She clutched the treasured necklace tightly to her chest, feeling a radiating magical warmth. Such was it ever with the odd magical artifacts she recovered: there was always some radiating magical force out to make her wonder just what sort of enchantment she had stumbled on. Further study, or the ranting cries of Ahuizotl, would tell the tale. (She had to give him that: for all his jerk-hole ways and pompous self-assurance, he could be remarkably informative.)
Daring blinked and shook her head, nearly sending herself into the side. She slowed her ascent and tried to focus on the growing halo of sunlight. That thought had come unbidden, but it was at least not obtrusive. She really hated that guy, but he was not offensive to look at: big muscles, perfect (if weird) teeth, and quite the sexy accent.
Absent the evil parts, Daring would have classified Ahuizotl as 'himbo lust-fuck' material. The thought of doing that wasn't exactly unusual for her, but it was odd to think of it during her escape. She usually just thought it in the safety of her camp, or in a town after savoring her victory over the pathetic pretty-boy.
She finally flew out of the constricting passage, and set her hooves down on solid stone. She was at the top of the temple, with a clear view of the featureless jungle all around her. If she could just get her bearings and locate the way back to civilization, she could chalk up another victory over…
“Finally, Miss Do, you have it.”
Ahuizotl. He pulled himself sinuously over the side of the temple and posed, half seductively, half threateningly, his muscles flexing in such a way to both tease and demonstrate power.
“Ahuizotl! What are you doing here? I lost you in the temple!” Daring shouted.
“You left me unable to follow you, Miss Do,” Ahuizotl said smugly. “I could never reach the central chamber before you, but I knew the way out. And knew the temple would release you through the roof. I am an expert in these matters.”
Daring rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I win, you lose. And now you can shake your fist and curse me and all that.”
“But I am here, and I could still win,” Ahuizotl hissed.
Daring flapped up, hovering just out of Ahuizotl’s reach. “Should I shake my ass at you like usual?”
“Doesn't hurt,” Ahuizotl said, affecting a very debonair tone. “Well, aren't you going to wear your new prize? You always do it to spite me. It seems to be your habit.”
“Ha! I almost forgot,” Daring said. “You're really useful sometimes, pretty-boy. Too bad there's not much else between your ears!”
She slipped the necklace on. A powerful cramping spasm suddenly tore through her lower belly and her wings seized up, sending her falling to the temple top. “Wh-what is this? What did you do?”
Ahuizotl slowly, casually, almost mockingly, strolled over to Daring, and began to circle her like a predator preparing to pounce his prey. “You... did no research, yes? You do not know what the Necklace of Tlazolteotl does, is that so?”
“I didn't... d-didn't have... time... to... argh!” Daring grabbed at her cramping belly, wracked with a painful tightness whose every stab vanished quickly. She attempted to remove the necklace but found it magically fixed to the back and sides of her neck.
“And whose fault is that, hmm?” Ahuizotl purred, slowly sliding his tongue along his lips. “Right now you feel it. The power. The power of Tlazolteotl, the lady of lust and... sexual impropriety.”
“Wh-what?” Daring gasped out, shakily coming to her hooves. The cramping had stopped but she felt an oppressive, stifling, all-consuming blaze. It was more than just the jungle's sticky heat. It radiated from within her, hottest at the base of her belly and soaring through the rest of her.
“Oh yes,” Ahuizotl said with a perverse grin. “The power of unbridled lust and improper sex. You can resist all you want but you'll be wanting it until you get it. And only I can cool it for you because this is as improper as sex gets.”
Daring opened her mouth to let out a sneering insult, but instead groaned loudly and grit her teeth hard. The sound of liquid spattering on the temple stones sounded especially loud in that sudden silence. She hadn't urinated herself; her pussy was so sloppily juicy that is was almost-literally cascading out of her slit. The flesh was flushed so pink it was nearly red, and her lips were already spread just from her need and arousal.
Ahuizotl boldly and uncouthly shoved his face beneath Daring's flagged tail and ground his nose on her slit. His long snout wound up dripping with the musky honey, his tongue slapping and slithering all over his mouth, nose, and chin as he cleaned up. He then ran his tongue tongue across Daring's sex, while he deeply inhaled the heady scent of arousal.
Daring shuddered hard and made an effort to pull away. Though she strained and craned her neck her legs refused to move. Rather, her rear legs stepped out, giving her a receptive A-frame stance that made her dripping snatch more obvious. She shoved her ass back, grinding her engorged clit on Ahuizotl's snuffling nose. “F-fuck... you fucking bastard...”
“Well... bastard is a bit judgmental about your coming situation...” Ahuizotl purred, giving another burning slurp of his wide and powerful tongue.
“And just what does that mean?” Daring seethed through her teeth. Her eyes were shut tight and her neck stretched as far as it could get. Her wings flapped wildly and trembled at she tried to get away.
“That cramping you felt... I do not want to get too technical and spoil your image of me but... that was your womb, growing the necessary flesh to grow a child. And an ovary sending an egg. That is right, Miss Do, your womb is ready. The magic has ensured a single wiggling sperm from any creature will do the job. Even me...”
Ahuizotl gave a concluding laugh, slapping a hand down solidly on Daring's right flank while swirling his nose around her lips.
Shock crossed Daring's features as she contemplated the idea. She imagined the flood of semen, the rush of sperm, a single wriggling thing surging before all others and penetrating her egg. She shook her head quickly as the idea started to become appealing and lifted a trembling foreleg, only to slap it down solidly a moment later. “No! You can't!”
“Oh but I can. I am perfectly capable. Witness...” Ahuizotl rather reluctantly pulled himself away from Daring's leaking sex and strutted his way around to her front. He very boldly reared up and showed her the effect that her mare musk had on him. His sheathed organ had dropped, and looked impressive: bigger than a pony rod by virtue of Ahuizotl's larger body, and lacking the flattened head. The tip was rounded and slightly pointy, while the dark blue shaft was ridged with what looked like a series of medial rings, each one with fleshy, backward-facing 'nubs' around the circumference. His balls were proportionally larger, hanging low and heavy.
“I wasn't saying you're impotent; I'm saying don't do it you stupid twit!” Daring snapped, head pulling down and a huge groan leaving her mouth. Her pangs of need were getting worse.
“Temper, temper, Miss Do,” Ahuizotl said calmly. “I really wanted you to enjoy yourself, to have fun with this fantasy of yours. A cursed necklace, a muscular male, amazing sex against your will, all the things you could want.” He considered pushing his erection or nuts in her face but decided against it. She still had basic control of her head and could do some decent harm. Instead, he casually sauntered behind her again, his tail-hand delivering a solid slap to her ass.
“Not... my... fantasy...” Daring groaned. The slap on her ass not only made her toned and strong explorer's thighs twitch, it made her sex squeeze and roll over nothing. The pattering on the temple grew more copious, sounding like a localized rain storm. “I never imagined you fucking me!”
“I know,” Ahuizotl said firmly, “but allow me my ego. A small repayment for all you have done to me.” He slapped both of his normal hands down on Daring's ass, his tail-hand reaching out to slide the fingers against her heated slit. “You dream of having me at your mercy. So use me, use my body like a sex toy then throw me away like trash. Am I trash to you, Miss Do?”
“You said it, not me,” Daring huffed, turning her head around just enough to give Ahuizotl a look at her strained, but smug, smile. “You're just a himbo with cobwebs between your ears. You're not worth more than a desperation fuck.”
Ahuizotl trembled a little, right hand lifting and coming down to deliver a solid smack to Daring's right cheek. The left then repeated the gesture, striking solidly. He alternated in that way over and over, changing locations all over Daring's ass, thighs and flanks. The smacking sound was sharp and clear, ringing out over the jungle like perverted drums. “You will not disrespect me in such a way, Miss Do! I am more than just dumb muscle! I am mighty! I am great! And I will have my reward! You will pay for every victory you had over me!”
“That's not happening, Ahuizotl! You don't get to win, because I'm the smart one, the strong one, the better one,” Daring asserted, breath huffing from between her teeth as the spanking rang out. Maybe it was the necklace, maybe it was her pumping adrenaline, or maybe it was something she had never examined before, but it wasn't bad. There was a tingle running through her spanked rear end, a pleasant feeling of warmth and delight that pulsed out over and over and seemed to bring another dribble of her juice.
“I cannot undo the past,” he admitted. “I cannot undo your many victories and triumphs over me and all my brilliant plans and schemes to conquer... but I can make you regret them. Every pump of my hips, every wad of my semen is my victory over your triumphs! I undo the shame of losing with my conquest of your body!”
Ahuizotl screamed to the sky, his cry carried on the wind. He concluded his spanking with a single hard, double-handed slap over Daring's Cutie Marks, gripping the area tightly. He pulled himself up and over Daring's body, his thick and muscular chest resting heavily on her back. His tail-hand remained between his rear legs and continued to molest her snatch, until the tip of his dick mashed up against the juicy lips. He used his tail-hand to spread the flushed, heated lips out, and provided a clear passage for his fat and pulsing piece of monster meat.
His hips rammed forward savagely and without concern. The point of his rounded cockhead was superfluous, as the spread and eager pussy lips didn't fight against the extra-thick invader. There was still a delay, the ringed titan of a pole having to forcibly spread Daring's passage wide open. The nubbed rings ground over her clit as each one was forced into her, and her desperate, magically stimulated cunt alternately loosened to allow more in and squeezed tightly to massage the great shaft.
Daring screamed, though more a shout of frustration. Her thwarted desire to keep Ahuizotl's cock out of her was countered by her body's heated insistence the textured knob stay inside. She hated just how much she liked the way the monster shaft forced her passage open wide, how the raised rings felt grinding on her inner flesh, how his muscles were apparent in all he did. She would have liked it on her terms. As it was, against her will, she was being dragged kicking and screaming to pleasure. “Get your dick out of me or I'll rip it off and feed it to you!”
“I'm already feeding it to you, Miss Do! How is my vengeance?! Tell me, you arrogant pony!” Ahuizotl roared in a mix of rage and great pleasure at his own triumph. He drove his trembling hips all the harder, wedging open Daring's pony passage, fighting the tightness of her size to cram as much of his oversized organ into her as possible.
“It's fat and hot and I wish it was attached to someone I actually wanted!” Daring screamed, head thrashing about as the stretch of her walls nearly reached the limit of her capacity. There was some soreness to the stretch, but either the magic of the necklace or the side-effect of great need made the sore stretch delightful.
She was once more flooded with an unwanted hot and heady tingle that made her passage seize up. She gave a sharp and sudden cry, gasping as a squirt of her hot honey shot back around the plugging pole and splattered across Ahuizotl's inner thighs and over his heavy, swaying nuts. She had cum. She had cum while Ahuizotl raped her out of vengeance. She had been expecting almost everything but that.
Ahuizotl let out a loud, deep, bold laugh of triumph and celebration, releasing Daring's hips for a moment and slapping her Cutie Marks again. “Yes, Miss Do! Cum again and again! Each one is a forfeit of your pride in victory over me!”
“It was the necklace, you ignorant git!” Daring cried out, her breath panting. Just her luck the necklace kept her aware of how much her body was betraying her. She hated it. She didn't want it. But she couldn't stop herself. Each bulging ring helped to cool the burning need deep in her snatch, scratched the itch she was trying to fight. Just as he had demanded, she was already back on track to build up another orgasm, even as the aftershocks of the first still had her passage twitching.
Ahuizotl groaned loudly, his mind growing a little clouded. He wanted to savor his triumph, enjoy the savage raping of his hated rival. He was brutally having her but she wasn't breaking. He never expected her to. It was enough for him that she was helpless, at his mercy.
The necklace made her body burn, and more than that, it made her burn for him. She could hate it all she wanted but her legs wouldn't move so long as he was there, throbbing and ready for her. Having her while she hated it, cursed at him, spat and despised, it warmed him. He was winning at last! He had his ultimate triumph, and all thanks to a treasure that Daring had assumed she could snatch from his grasp once more.
But the esoteric pleasure of dominating his foe was losing ground to the carnal pleasure of dipping his dong into a mare's steamy honeypot. He had so indulged, of course, Daring was hardly his first. But none had been so sopping and receptive. Her hatred of him and the fight that was trying to manifest seemed to make the hard, raw sex even more delicious.
Ahuizotl’s mouth opened but the only thing that came out was a mindless, groaning cry of animalistic pleasure. His mouth hung open and he drooled rather freely down his hanging tongue. The saliva cast around, splattering across Daring's back and all around the space beside her. His back arched and he hunched forward like a simple beast, to finish sinking his cock as far down as it could go.
He was just too much for her, size-wise. His tip struck her cervix when he was about three quarters into her. He cried out in pleasure, sounding like a yowl mixed with a moan. His hands moved up, to wrap around her midsection while he savored the sensation of the needy, constricting sex desperately rolling and fluttering over the precum-spitting length.
Daring cried again, shuddering as she came from the touch of the tip against her inner barrier. She tossed her head back, sending her cry to the heavens. It was less agonized and restrained than before. If she was going to be forced to like it, she'd like it. She was already cumming. She'd have plenty of time to hold the whole matter in disdain when she was brooding about it in bed.
She wanted to feel that grand, boiling pleasure that was bubbling like a kettle in her belly. Her walls rolled and pulled on Ahuizotl's cock, and clutched down all the tighter during the big withdrawal, when the little nubs on the raised rings plucked and flicked at the accordion-like folds of her inner walls like a small army of carnal fingers over her sexual strings. A little climax struck her, with a trembling flutter of her sex and little ooze of her fluid.
Ahuizotl's mind slipped further away from where it had been. He wasn't thinking about how amazing it was to dominate and force-fuck his foe. He was thinking that Daring was the best mare he had ever fucked. Her pussy was pliant and warm and had taken him in further than any other. The constant squeezing and trembling and milking roll was unlike anything he had felt. He was beyond delighted.
Losing control of his polished domination made Ahuizotl's hips run riot. He still kept just at the edge of Daring's inner barrier, but drew his hips back as hard as he could and rammed back in to the full extent he could, without entering her womb. Daring's pleasured cries, the moans and grunts of frustrated forced-delight, rang in Ahuizotl's ears, and sent him even more into his own world.
The flicking nubs pleasured Ahuizotl as much as they pleasured Daring, as did the grip and pull on his raised flesh rings. If anything, it was hard to judge who was most pleasured by it all. His hips trembled and his balls pulled up tight against his body. He squirted heavy shots of precum all over the warm inner walls, splattering against Daring's cervix.
They approached a point where their bodies became so hot, they felt almost cold. Semen squeezed through Ahuizotl's hard cock as it slammed into Daring's cervix, escaping its phallic prison and punching the fertile egg with godlike force.
Daring's scream came out silent. Ahuizotl gasped, his body covered in sweat.
There was no way around it. Daring Do had been impregnated.
His large size helped to make his impressive, and imposing, load all the more voluminous. Each new hot gush was like another splatter of thick pudding, packing Daring's womb full. Her belly swelled slightly as the sperm-rich loads settled heavily down in her.
Ahuizotl's mental capacity slowly came back as he gradually pulled his softening dick out of Daring's gaping sex. One last orgasm shuddered through her as the nubbed rings pulled out of her flooded insides, where cum was flowing, splattering out in heavy blobs. He staggered back a little bit, panting and smiling. “My vengeance... is delivered...”
Daring stood for a moment longer, legs growing shaky and weak, breath coming out in hard, desperate gasps. Her body fell heavily to the side, laid out on the stone of the temple, Ahuizotl's semen still slowly oozing from wide-spread depths.
The necklace flashed, washing both Daring and Ahuizotl in the golden light. When the light cleared nothing seemed all that changed, except the necklace was no longer magically attached to Daring's neck. She lifted her head up, groaning lightly. “When I can move, I'm gonna rip your dick off...”
“I will be... far away, Miss Do,” Ahuizotl said, with a tired smugness. He panted as he sauntered off, trying to keep from looking tired. He was quite drained, and not just in a testicular sense. Something felt off. “You will never catch me! I have the last laugh! The ultimate revenge!”
He made his way down from the top of the temple, taking a moment to rest once he was on the ground. As he sat there, on the cushy loam of the jungle floor, his tail-hand reached casually down to the ground and scooped up a hearty collection of the rich, heady earth and pushed it to his mouth. He chewed casually, only realizing something was wrong when he swallowed the gritty mouthful.
Ahuizotl's eyes went wide, almost watching himself from the outside as he scooped and ate several handfuls of the rich-smelling jungle dirt. He found control of his limbs again, focused hard on his path home and ran off. In transit his tail hand once more reached out, scooped up dirt from the jungle floor and shoved it in his unresisting mouth.
Ahuizotl reached his bachelor temple, made his way inside and threw himself onto his pile of golden treasures. His stomach churned, but not from all the dirt he had eaten. That actually settled in his stomach like a lump, which felt proper.
His churning stomach came from his disorganized thoughts. He was feeling... conflicted, confused. Something inside of him was making him feel regret for what he had just done. However both had enjoyed themselves, he felt that his well-deserved vengeance had been... wrong.
He languished over the piles of gold and jewels, raking his fingers through the collection, head shaking. He had triumphed. But all he could think about was that he could never contest against Daring again. His revenge had been final. If he showed his face again she would do what she promised. She was never one for idle threats.
He actually smiled at that. Daring was earnest, to say the least. She was extremely motivated and determined, and quite talented. So athletic. So smart. Her victories were often hard won. Nothing was guaranteed. She was just very good at what she did and that made her a little bit better than Ahuizotl…
Ahuizotl shook his head and blinked, surprised. His hand was resting beside a pile of codices, which was how he knew where to find treasures and what the magical ones did. He had been reading about the necklace and Tlazolteotl. Last time, he'd stopped when he saw the bits about improper sex and lust. He felt driven to look closer.
The next fold of the codex made the cerulean drain from his face. He hadn't asked why the necklace had two faces. She was the two-faced goddess, of illicit sex…
...And the punishment for illicit sex.
Her face was ochre because she ate dirt in penance for her transgressions. That struck Ahuizotl as too familiar.
She was punishing him. He had eaten dirt at her demand, and his mind was being twisted around by performing the penance. He wasn't being turned good, just feeling... guilty. He had never felt guilty! “Curse you, Tlazolteotl! I should have just roped her and raped her!”
The days that followed weighed on his mind more and more heavily. The guilt, the shame, all of it was growing worse and worse thanks to the insidious influence of Tlazolteotl's paid penance. Worse, with his mind filled with regrets he was honestly missing Daring. He wanted to see her but knew he never could. And she could never find him. She never had an inkling of where he resided. She probably would have beaten him to a fine paste ages ago had she known.
His days were tormented. He barely slept, his dreams alternating between guilt-saturated nightmares and lustful dreams of Daring that went forever unfulfilled because she was always out of his reach. He hardly ate, and more often than not found himself grabbing dirt and chewing it up. Each swallow was unpleasant and he gagged the whole way through but it nourished him well enough.
He was incomplete without her. He always had been. There had been a hole in his life he’d tried to fill with schemes and arrogance. He'd had a mare that was quite his match but all he could do was steal from her, or be stolen from by her. They could have done quite well together.
It was certainly the best sort of punishment that could be visited on him. He'd painted himself into a corner. He'd ruined any chance of being able to act on the feelings Tlazolteotl had made overt. He was condemned to a life of misery, unless he went out to find Daring, in which case he would be condemned to either a short and bloody life or a life without genitals.
One unpleasant morning, while Ahuizotl was languishing in the main room of the lower segment of his temple, a titanic and ringing hit sounded around the room. It was very like powerful hooves pounding on the slab that served as his door. He was going to chalk it up to self-induced hysteria but decided to give it a look anyway.
He pulled a stone lever to open the slab, his whole bearing unenthusiastic. His face was drawn and glum, with dark circles under his eyes, his shoulders slumped and his tail-hand dragged on the ground limply. “Who dares to disturb the great beast Ahuizotl in his own temple?” he began in a sullen monotone.
The morose message was halted by the barrel of a gun being planted right against his mouth. His eyes grew fearful and after staring down the barrel of a shotgun for a moment he looked past it to see what was on the other end.
The first things of note was a small army of staid and serious ponies, of all races and both genders, dressed in essentially identical blue suits and black ties, with briefcases at their sides. Along with them was a somewhat nervous-looking unicorn stallion in a casual black suit with an Equestrian National Emblem pinned to his chest. He was carrying, in his magical grip, a thick book which had the faces of the Princesses on the cover.
Daring headed the assembly, holding the shotgun in one strong, steady hoof. She was still wearing Tlazolteotl's necklace, which pulled away from her chest, pointing directly at Ahuizotl's shocked visage. Her belly hung heavy with her pregnancy, though she carried herself without difficulty. Her wings flapped slightly to maintain her balance as she brought up the other hoof to show a piece of paper. It was mostly small letters and some charts but prominent across the top were the words, 'Genetic Examination of Paternity'.
Daring's eye were set in a steely stare, somewhere between hate and worry. She didn't say anything for a long while, just threateningly holding the gun to Ahuizotl's face as though daring him to even move. “The necklace told me where you were. It's been telling me since I got it.”
“S-so I see...” Ahuizotl squeaked out through a tight throat. “It is truly... potent.”
Daring maintained her level and steady aim. “I have codices too, Ahuizotl. Just because I rush in head-first doesn't mean I'm ignorant.”
“I never implied it! I never would,” Ahuizotl squeaked, barely capable of talking while his life passed before his eyes.
“I figured out that this thing did a number on both of us. How does all that dirt taste, asshole?” Daring asked, with some mirth coming through, savoring Ahuizotl's fear. “Serves you right for what you did. Been scarfing it down by the handful?”
“It is almost all I can consume anymore,” Ahuizotl moaned. “Tlazolteotl has cursed me! I live a half life and can hardly bring myself to go outside. I am effaced by this condemnation.”
Daring's smile pulled up, and she nodded just a little bit. “Yeah. Yeah that's what I figured. You're a miserable wretch and you deserve everything. And now I'm here so we can finish this.”
“Please, Miss Do, in the head,” Ahuizotl said, defeated. “My life is torture enough, I at least wish to die quickly,”
“Die?” Daring screamed, pushing the shotgun firmly to Ahuizotl's mouth once more. “You're not dying on me! You're not getting out of this that easily!”
“What do you mean?” Ahuizotl asked in a confused and muffled mumble. “Why are you here if not to take revenge for my revenge?”
“You did this to me,” Daring hissed, “the test proves it. I had a little smear of your blood from a previous incident, they did the test and confirmed it's yours, just like you said it would be. You got me like this, and now you're gonna pay.”
“And in what form will this payment take?” Ahuizotl asked, still muffled and confused.
Daring motioned with one of her wings, the stallion with the book coming forward. “There's no way in Tartarus I'm ending up a single mom. If I'm having your kid, you'd damn well better believe you're gonna be there. This is a Justice of the Peace, who wasn't squeamish about tracking you through the jungle. The army of suits are the lawyers my publisher sent to make sure you sign on all the dotted lines. You knocking me up is fucking their bottom line as much as it fucked my waistline. They want you to pay, too. If you think I'm bad, wait until they get you in a courtroom for a breach of contract.”
Ahuizotl stared, wide-eyed, hovering between disbelief and some strange sense of joy. “You will... shotgun marry me?”
Daring put away the paternity test and pulled out a gold ring studded with stones. “I slipped this out of a temple right under your nose, and I know you well enough to know it fits. You'd better have something in there that fits me because there's no way you're getting out of this.”
- - -
“... And so, that is the tale,” Ahuizotl finished. “We were wed, the necklace ceased to curse me, and I ceased having a hunger for dirt. The vengeance was done and I... I find myself quite satisfied.
“We learned to tolerate one another, then to enjoy one another’s company. Our relationship makes for an interesting bit of writing. She tells me she has moved on to domestic comedy, as E. L. Etsif, as well as selling some version of our home life as a television comedy. From what I hear it is testing well, and the books... well, the numbers speak for themselves. It is us, with some exaggeration and a change in my species. I still have my suave tone, but I am a pony. Such a pity.
“I took her name, of course. I had no choice, and I don't mind. I had no title or name to give her, at least none that she wanted. She refused to be Daringotl. Not that I blame her. It is not as pleasing to the ear as my name. I am Ahuizotl Do. And to that end, because she is both clever and funny, she creates for me the 'Ahuizotl Do List'. Like the 'Honey Do List' for other stallions? Sweep the temple, fill the cracks in the exterior, weatherproof the outside furniture, sweep what we call a garage. It's a cove where we dock our boat, but she calls it a garage. She must miss life in more normal situations.
“But this is life, and it suffices for us both,” Ahuizotl said, turning from the audience and rolling off the couch. “Do you need help?”
“Your turn for diaper duty!” Daring called.
“Again?” Ahuizotl called back, with some dismay.
“Don't you complain! You've got hands. I could make you do it with your mouth,” Daring warned.
Ahuizotl looked prepared to complain, but he only nodded, smiled and said, “Yes, dear...”