In an alternate universe in which Zander, a main character in my other story, never met Sam or Sasha
Basically, I gave my friend Solar Nightmare. But back to the point, Zander never met Sasha or Sam, but still finds his way to another world just in time. So if you want to know the rest of the crew, go to Eggs-free Cage's profile and read it there
Ugggggggggggggggggggggggggg, why is it so cold and wet in by bed? I rolled over to get my glasses, only to see that they were already on my face. Did I fall asleep with them on again? Getting back to the reason I sought them in the first place, I looked to investigate my current situation. I wasn't in my bed at all!?!?!? I was in some sort of forest, had I been sleepwalking again?
Well I attempted to stand, but was met with a sharp pain in my lower back( I thought this was due to the disease I "inherited", a disease that made my lower back ultra fragile, you could probably snap me in two if you tried hard enough) .Did I fall off a cliff to get here? despite the protest in my spine, I managed to stand.
Where in the wide world was I? I don't recognize this part of the woods. I started towards what I thought was my house, but being the dumbass I am, got lost, BAD.
I was wandering around for a good half hour trying to figure out where the hell I am. But so far, NOTHING, NOT EVEN A LIGHT FROM CIVILIZATION SIGNALING ME THAT I WASN'T BONED. After another half hour, I DID spot a small village of some sorts on the horizon, as I came up on the mysterious "village", I noticed it was more of a small town, not near the size of my home town in good old Virginia.
I approached the only house there with the lights on, and knocked on the slightly smaller than average door, I hear someone calling from inside
"Ya ,Ya i'm coming!
As for what came next.. well.. A small horse only coming up to my chest with a mane with dark and light blue highlights.
Ya what do you want. I presumed she said as she turned her head, and proceeded to scream, and slammed the door in my face. Meanwhile, I managing to stay conscious, slowly and carefully.... Ran screaming and hollering back into the woods.
Waking up from a loooooooooooooooooooooong nap in the bushes ,Barely keeping me from loosing my sanity, I try to rationalize what I saw. That horse could TALK, it could talk!! I think i'm going to take another look. creeping back up to the back of the house of the talking horse, pony? Ill just call it a pony, I peaked through the window to find that it had the exact same idea, it was staring at be through the window when I got there. We both yelped slightly, and having the same idea again began inspecting the other. I saw that it had a horn! What was this thing? A unicorn? Wait that's exactly what it is. Apparently wanting to take an even closer look at me I presume it was a she, exited her home and came around back
Not knowing what I was or if I was dangerous or not. Started with her head, slowly creeping around the corner. I noticed she was wearing purple sunglasses as she took them off, with some sort of blue aura! Magic? Not being able to take it anymore, I casually not to attract attention........... Passed out immediately.
As I woke, I started to panic, but to only be shut down by my lower back and a new level 3 migraine.
Please don't move, my eyes shot open like a bullet, turning my head to the right surprised to see yet ANOTHER talking pony! This one was a lavender purple with a darker mane with hot pink and purple streaks going through it
OH MY it can talk! This is very interesting. Bipedal, hands, no hooves, patch of hair on top of the head. The pony wrote on a piece of parchment, using another aura this one being purple, like her coat.
Fine Ill repeat myself, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU!? I said again loosing my patience.
I am a unicorn. The mare said blandly with a hint of curiosity
Yes I can see that, what I meant is why can you talk, Horses cant talk! I said loosing my sanity a little more
I am a PONY not a horse, that's actually quite insulting. She turned her head I anger. And of course I can talk, everypony can talk. Didn't you know that? And what are you?
Well its official, I've lost my mind. I've died and gone to purgatory, cant decide if this is heaven or hell? I know, I know it was probably just a dream, right? So I decided to play along. I'm a human, my name is Zander. I said having figured out my minds trick.
Well Zander, my name is Twilight Sparkle, I am the prize pupil of Princess Celestia herself. She said with a little more pride than her usual tone. And this is Vinyl Scratch, the pony from earlier stepped into view, she is the one that found you and called me to help.
Hello miss Vinyl. I said with the most formality I could muster, not knowing if they could kill me or not.
Hey, what's up? She said not really knowing what to say.
For the love of god, did she really just ask that? "Hey what's up?" oh nothing just figured out there is a whole town of magical talking ponies, you know the norm! I thought to myself staying quiet, just absorbing the awkward.
With all of the awkward conversation out of the way, I tried to sit up again with the ok of Twilight. Lower back and head still throbbing, I still managed to sit upright on the little cot Vinyl had set up for me before getting Twilight.
So, Vinyl what is that thing on your... *ahem hind quarters?
Oh you mean my cutie mark? Its a special mark you get whenever you realize whatever you're suppose to do in life.
Well we certainty don't have anything like that back home on Earth.
( Zander, Vinyl, and Twilight had discussed the humans situation and came to the deduction that Zander was no longer on earth because none of them had heard of humans, or any of the continents of Earth or even Earth itself!)
So you were telling me about how your whole world was like the Everfree forest? Vinyl inquired
Ya the clouds move by themselves and animals take care of themselves.
Well enough of small talk, I think its time we got it over with, and introduced you to the rest of the town!
Ya might as well... I won't be going home anytime soon. So why not!
That's the spirit! Vinyl exclaimed.
Now guys don't you thing you all are rushing this? Twilight rationalized. I mean do you think Ponyville can take this kind of shock all at once?
Naw! He'll be fine! In that moment, I had been grabbed by Vinyl's apparent "magic" while having a blanket thrown over me. I had the sensation of movement, the sound of a door opening, clopping of hooves. I had been set down and the next thing I knew I heard Twilight's voice boom." Everypony listen!" I have something to show you! This may come as a shock, but Equestria (apparently their nation?) has been visited by inhabitants of another world. (A symphony of oooo's and aaaa's rang over the audience.) Suddenly I had the Blanket had been thrown off me, my glasses almost being taken with it
What is it? an unseen pony spoke their mind.
His name is Zander and he is a Human. He means you no harm, now Zander if you will.
What? what do you mean? I whispered to Twilight.
Give them a speech! I had clearly caught a nerve of Twilights.
Well.... Um.... Hi my name is Zander... I'm a human from the planet Earth and I mean you no harm... I said more than a little sheepishly
You already said that! the unseen mare spoke up again.
I found the culprit of the interjections and stared a hole I her head causing her to visibly shrink. Are there any questions! I shouted coming out of my shell a little bit.
After explaining the ENTIRE situation to the whole town, I headed home, realizing... MINE IS ON ANOTHER PLANET. Suddenly realizing that also, Vinyl turned to me and asked if I wanted to stay at her place. Without any other place to go, of course I accepted. Walking into the bleach mares home, I got a better look at it. The house was split in two, one side was mellow, calm, well cleaned, classical if you will. On the other hand.. hoof? Ugg this was too difficult, back to the room. I could only assume that this was Vinyl's side. It was a complete mess, there were empty soda cans everywhere, what looked like trophies turned over with soda stains on them too! Did this crazy pony drink out of her trophies?
Don't mind the mess, sit where you like. Vinyl said without a care in the world. Seizing the offer, I cleared off a spot on a couch. You want a soda? She called from what I assumed was the kitchen.
Yes please.
Oh quit it with the manners, you are in the domain of DJ PON-3! There are no formalities here! She basically shouted at me.
DJ PON-3? I asked, my interest reaching a new high. Did ponies have DJ's? Well they obviously did otherwise she wouldn't call herself DJ. Am I loosing my mind? Oh wait I already have.
Oh I forgot you should totally come to my rave tonight! She exclaimed.
Um I don't know...... I said with a hint of doubt.
Oh come on! it'll be fun! There'll be dub step, glow sticks, and alcohol!
Fine but i'm not drinking! She didn't need to know that i'm not of the legal age yet.
Wus. She muttered
I heard that! Oh ya I meant to ask, What's up with split room?
The side you're sitting in is mine, and the other is Octavia's. But she's out right now.
What's she like? You know so I know what to expect, of course
Interested are we? She asked thinking my intentions were impure.
Oh shut up! I later figured out that her roommate Octavia is a musician like Vinyl. I myself couldn't get into music, I much prefer the comfort of video games. Ah there was nothing like finishing a castle in minecraft or blowing a super mutants head off in fallout.
LETS GOOOOOO! Vinyl yelled at the top of her lungs at me.
Cut me some slack! I screamed back as I stepped out of the shower, I remembered right before I had, Gotten transported to another world, spent two nights in the bushes, and passed out. And BOY was I dirty. I had to wash my clothes and myself before going to vinyl's rave. Apparently, she was the most popular DJ in Ponyville, not that that is saying something, last time I checked, there was a shortage of ponies that DJ for a living.
As we strolled into the only club in Ponyville, Vinyl started to set up her turntables. I asked if I could help but she said she had it and that I should get acquainted with the space and have a seat and mingle with the staff. But being antisocial as I am, I just sat down with a soda called "Sparkle Cola", and waited for the party to start
Having the party just getting underway, I stand and walk around like a jackass, still getting weird looks even after all of the questions at the center of town. Around that time, Vinyl called me out over the microphone, telling me to get up on the stage, obviously I refused, only to be levitated up on the stage anyways.
For all of you that were either drunk or high this is Zander, a cheer came from the audience.
You know this seams very familiar Vinyl.
The best way for them to get used to you is repeated exposure to you! Before I could respond, she then chucked me into the crowd, much like what rock stars doo at the end of concerts except I don't know how they did it. They had to have at least three hooves on the ground at the time, right? Putting that aside, I ended up at the back of the mass of ponies. There I met a very curious mare by the name of Lyra...
You're real..... She said dumbfounded.
Ya.... So?
So? So? What do you mean SO? You're a HUMAN! Nopony thought humans were real!
You know humans would say the exact same thing if they saw you but about you being a unicorn.
Wow.. So our worlds are like switched?
Ya basically. I said as I ended that part of our looooooooooooong conversation.
And those are all of the legends surrounding humans here. Dear GOD this pony would not SHUT UP! I hadn't had the chance to speak for fifteen minutes! I guess Vinyl DID tell me to mingle. Did this even count as mingling? Good enough, I guess. As Lyra finished Vinyl started to play a unique song.
Just before the last bass drop, I was yanked out of the club by a very rushed Twilight. What the hell?!?! No time to explain, someone wants to meet you! I couldn't imagine who wanted to meet me?(comment before you read the next part) As I was rushed to Twilight's tree home, I pondered who in the big wide sparkly world would want to meet me. When we arrived, I heard.
Ok Princess Luna Here he is!
Oh HELL NO. I thought as I turned my head. Sure enough there was the Princess of the night herself. Basically Batman. Batmare? Ugg too many thoughts running through my head, not many pure ill grant. While all of these thought ran through my head, I just stood ther looking like a JACKASS! Why won't my mouth open?
Zander? Twilight asked looking at my dumb expression.
SPEAK! I keep yelling in my mind
Hello Zander I am Princess Luna of Canterlot. she gave a small bow, not to be seen bowing to someone new. Pony new? OH MY GOD STOP THINKING ABOUT THESE THINGS!
Hi.... IS THAT ALL I COULD MUSTER? I guess I'm just trying to not fuck up in front of one of the rulers of BUCKING EQUESTRIA! Hold on. Hold on... Did I just say bucking. In my own mind!?!? Ok it hasn't even been a full week and i'm already talking like a BUCKI..... FUCKING pony!
Shy one isn't he! The moon goddess stated.
Oh he's just a uh.... A thinker! Yes a thinker! That's it! HA ha ha!
Shaking my head furiously, regaining my formalities, I corrected myself with. Hello Princess, my name is Zander, giving a deep bow.