Snailsyphus
In unrelenting rain and strong winds, Snails stood alone at the base of a tall hill and stared at a rock. It was a modest rock, a little smaller than himself, partially covered in moss on several sides and shaped like a lumpy egg. But to Snails, this wasn’t just a rock. To him, this rock would be the key to her heart.
“There has to be something I can do,” he pleaded. “Anything!”
Snails gave the tin shed at the top of the hill one final look, then lifted the rock with a strong toss of his neck. With his head held low to balance the rock, he began his ascent. He was sure that he would finally win her over.
Diamond Tiara turned up her nose. “Hmph. You want to prove your love? There’s a scheduled rainstorm tomorrow.”
The rain had turned the once lush, grassy hill into a muddy deluge. Trudging through this mud, Snails caked his legs up to his knees in it with every step of the way. In the end, it would all be more than worth it.
“You’re going to carry a rock up the tallest hill in Ponyville in the rain. Without magic. Do that, and you’ll ‘prove your love.’”
He tilted his head. “What rock?”
“As if I ca—” She paused. “Any rock. It doesn’t matter. It just has to be big.”
The wind knocked the rock off his back several times, but the rock never slid too far away. Every time, he returned for it, dirtying himself further by pulling it out of the mud. He didn’t mind.
She turned her back on him and walked out the door. “I’ll be waiting in that shed at the top.”
He couldn’t see ahead very well, so he bumped into a few other rocks and trees, but he could feel his progress: the wind grew stronger as he climbed higher, chilling his soaked, muddy body to the bone. He didn’t care. He was almost at the top, and his prize would be eagerly awaiting him.
“Don’t disappoint me.”
He could see the shed now. It sat there atop the hill in all of its barren, rusty, beaten glory. He threw the rock off his back, raced to the shed, and burst through its door.
“Diamond Tiara!” he shouted. “I’ve come for you!”
But nopony answered.
Snails looked around the shed. The one shelf that crookedly hung on the wall was cleared of tools and coated with dust, and the door itself nearly fell off its hinges from his exuberant entrance. Spiders and miscellaneous insects made their homes in the nooks and crannies of the steel. And as the rain rattled against the tin shed, Diamond Tiara was nowhere to be found.
Snails walked back out and looked around. There was no sign of Diamond Tiara, nor any sign that she had ever been near the shed.
He faced the rain and chuckled. Diamond Tiara probably forgot about him, but it didn’t matter.
He would gladly do it again and again until she finally loved him back.