buggering himself with it, too
"Blimey”
The two looked at one another, Spike could feel the way that accent had touched his heartstring just by the exclamation of surprise, and yet....
Yet here he was.
The whole thing was tugging at his mind, and he wasn’t sure if the way he was going to do it was the “perfect” way, the “correct” way, if there ever had been one. He wanted to be casual about it, just talk, small talk, before dropping the bomb, yet somehow that wouldn’t work for him. He didn’t feel the need to simply kneel down on him and ask him out, almost like a marriage, and his speech for it was rubbish, if he ever had said something as stupid, so it wouldn’t work.
No, in order for this to work. – Spike decided. – He’d have to be honest, but get his tone right, the words right, and try not to sod (annoy) him up too badly.
He could do that? Right?
Pipsqueak was waiting for him to say something, and he cursed the idea of meeting up with him that he had had, throw himself at his strong chest. It had worked with Twilight and that Flash dude, but they had been, well, different, and now they were between a mangled mess of limbs.
“Sorry, mate” – Spike blushed, and he turned even redder than when he felt hot. – “Is there anything you’d like me to do to help?”
The phase two, just hang around until the other got the idea, in case phase one failed, it was....predictable, but really, who could blame Spike? He hadn’t even been honest to himself one way or another until that moment, what’s to say of his relationships?
All of them had ended up being.....straight, yes, but if they were leading up to something it was, straight on to the rubbish bin. None of them had worked, Spike didn’t dare imagine why, though he now had a good idea. It just wasn’t in him.
“No, thank you” – And the accent perked up Spike’s senses. – “Just be more careful ‘right?”
His plan wasn’t working as much as he wanted it to, and it wasn’t working smoothly, he felt the urge to say something, but what? A lifetime with her caretaker had taught him the importance of plans, but this...he needed to say something, something cool, something awesome, something spontaneous, something....
“I’ll be, cutesy”
Something incredibly embarrassing that translates the baby talk he used to have and his most internal thoughts and that ruins any and ever chance of subtlety he could ever ask for.
The two stopped Pipsqueak, lil’ Pip stopped what he was doing, balancing himself, to look at the other boy. HE was....red, not green, and he had his hands over his mouth, and was shaking it, but that didn’t explain why he had been called “cutesy”.
Normally cutesy was reserved to babies, “Cutesy, wootzy”, or small pets, not to someone like him that was....
Well small, but still strong, capable, a stallion.
It felt mocking.
But somehow he didn’t think Spike was mocking him.
Spike bit his lips, afraid of something dumb and moronic coming out again. He hoped his brain could catch with his lips before they spoke again, but he wasn’t taking any chances, he had ruined it with the Trothingham colt, he needn’t ruin it for anyone else.
“...Spike, isn’t it?”
He realized he had been lost in his own self loathing, too lost to hear the rest of the sentence, but his name had taken him out of it.
“Y...yeah.”
“Name’s Pip, if you’d call me that and not” – He made a sound with his mouth, one of wretched expelling of something unwanted, also known as puking. – “Cutesy.”
“Sorry about that.” – Spike wasn’t so sure of what to say or feel, he wanted to feel and say what came to his heart, but what if he embarrassed himself again ? At the same time, though, his brain was frozen. It had stopped any semblance of rationality or thought.
“Say, Spike, do you want to take me out for a glass of cold tea?” – Pip asked, though he wasn’t sure why, something about Spike’s behavior seemed off, and that must have attracted him, though he didn’t seem to know. – “To compensate for bumping into me and all that?”
That was an excuse and he knew it, and he thought Spike knew it, but it didn’t matter, it made the two boys very at ease, and, as long as it helped.
The two walked unevenly, and at anything but a rhythm, if one were to watch them, they’d thought they were drunk, the fact was, Spike was half hoping to escape and half hoping to stay, so he walked at a bristle pace, and Pipsqueak merely followed him, sure of the fact that, somewhere, there would be a place where Spike would stop to have the cold drink.
To Spike, despite the warm weather of a sunny place like his home town, the cold shivers were very and varied. He wasn’t sure of where he was going, he had a vague idea of his outsides, that well traveled road there, and that house there, being in his day to day path, but he didn’t know where or when to stop, so it hardly mattered.
A couple of minutes passed until Spike stopped. Sighing, this was his home, well, their home, his and his caretaker. But she didn’t know the truth, or at least he hoped so, and coming with a boy in tow would be the giveaway of a lifetime, specially with how Twilight was so so perceptive and rational, something he hated in her.
Pip looked at the building, then at Spike.
“Mate, I knew you lived here, since we bumped a couple of times, but I didn’t know you brought friends over, or I would have come over a long time ago!”
It was a weak joke, but Spike laughed, despite the way he’d like to add the words boy, before making him his “friend”
He tugged at the door, aware of the eyes watching and opened it, the air there was colder than outside and Pip blew a sigh of relief over not having the blistering sun over his head”
Pip sat down in one of the cushioned seats as Spike opened the cupboards and prepared the drink, he was sweaty, stinky, and nervous, and yet this felt right to him somehow.
He placed it in front of his “friend”, and took a sip of his own drink, though the thirst he had had nothing to do with liquids. And anything he’d ingest felt like it would come right off.
Minutes passed with both staring at one another, Spike wanted to tell him the truth “I’ve been watching you, I’m charmed by you, I’d like to give it a shot, if you’d like”,
but the words didn’t come off his lips, that were also glued on.
Pip observed, amused at something.
“Heh, sorry about the fall.....I mean....”
“It’s no problem, we all have accidents.”
More silence, awkwardness setting in.
Spike decided to say something, offer to get more cold tea, anything, but before he could Pip did the thing he’d been meaning to do.
As Pip stepped up and brought the tray down to the kitchen he mouthed some words and spoke.
“Ya know, with the way you were eyeing me” - and he put some lemon drops in his tea - “Before jumping at me, I’d be sure that you were doing it on purpose” - he told, as he added the sugar.
“But why would you do that? Mate, unless you fancied me, no? And if you did....” – He let the sentence linger.
“....why wouldn’t you come here and kiss me?”
Spike felt the hotness on his cheeks, anger, for what Pip was making go through, love, lust, he jumped at him.
Pip was expecting so, but not that fast, the two glass cups fell down as Spike kissed and prodded at everything with his hands, He wanted to make up for lost time, whatever it took.
And as Pip felt himself melt away into Spike’s kisses, he smiled, for everything had gone according to his calculations.