Discord's Magic 8 Ball

by Zubric

First published

Discord, random chance, and a enchanted magic 8 ball. What is the worst or maybe funniest thing that could happen?

Discord's boredom has yet again brewed up his latest concoction of chaos. This time around, a simple toy, or at least it used to be. For what appears to be a simple 8 ball wil be much more devious then one might think . Be careful what you ask my little ponies for you may not like the answers you reserve.

8 ball is magic

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Discord sat on the couch in Fluttershy cottage, idly twiddling his thumbs. It had been so dull after that whole Tirek event happened, and now he was bored of the calm life.

“Augh! So bored!” Discord griped. He proceeded to drink a glass of wine along with a few cubes of cheese. As time ticked by he stared up the ceiling. “Oh what to do, what to do?”

He stopped for a second rubbing his chin with a grin. “Well if I'm going to talk to myself, I might as well do it with style.” With a quick snap of his fingers, another Discord wearing a fine doctor's coat sat on a chair adjacent to the sofa.

“What seems to be the matter, mister Discord.” The duplicate asked pulling out a clipboard and a crayon.

“What do you think?” The original blurted, annoyed at his alter ego already.

“I don’t know, you tell me Discord B.”

“Discord B? What are you talking about? You’re the duplicate.”

“Am I? I mean, I am the better looking one after all. How can something this fabulous possibly be a copy?” It said sliding on a pair of dark glasses, no doubt taken from Rainbow Dash again.

“Do all my clones have such egos?” The original asked himself.

“Why yes actually,” the duplicate said smirking

“Oh knock it off.”

“If you insist” He pulled out a machete, swinging it at the original Discord.

“H-hey” Discord ducked, “Knock it off”

“That’s what I'm trying to do. Now hold still.”

“Grrr, enough!” Discord snapped his fingers, the clone vanishing along with blunt instrument of destruction

He returned to the couch twiddling his talons on the coffee table. “Well, that didn’t work.”

As he kept pounding his dilemma, he spotted a peculiar object on the side table. A simple round object, its surfaces covered in a shiny black coating. There appeared to be the number eight inscribed on the bottom and the top had a glass opening peering into the liquid inside.

“Huh, what do we have here?” Picking up the object, he turned it in his hands. He had never seen such a thing in his lifetime. With being an immortal being that said a lot. As he turned it upright, words floated to the top of the opening

Yes Definitely

He chuckled now recognizing the object in his hand. “Oh, this is one of those silly fortune-telling devices.” He chuckled lightly “How quaint. As if these ever told the truth, it is random chance.”

Don't count on it

“Oh who asked you?” Discord said to the obviously inanimate object before chuckling. “Oh so bored I'm talking to inorganic life now.” He looked crazy for a second before shaking his head staring down the magic 8 ball.

“Hmmm, is Shy a strong mare?” He asked shaking the sphere and waiting for an answer.

Without a doubt

“Well, that is accurate. I suppose strong willed maybe, but definitely not in strength.” He said. He laughs at the thought of Fluttershy in a circus arena, lifting large barbells and showing off massive pecks to a cheering crowd.

Temporally amused he shook it again “Does applejack like apples?” he asked. He smirked knowing the correct answer but wondering if the toy could get it right by luck alone.

As I see it, yes

“Well look at that. It got the right answer.” He smiled as the gears turned in his head, sparks buzzing. Soon a mischievous idea came to mind.

“Oh what if random chance, actually happens,” he giggled. The amount of chaos he could cause over a simple wrong answer to a yes or no question made his ears twitch with excitement

“Angel Bunny, to the secret lab!”

Angel looked up from his carrot having ignored Discord rambles this whole time. Before he knew what was happening, he was scooped up and carried off towards the fireplace. He watched as Discord pulled on a candlestick and a hatch slide open beneath him. The metal platform beneath started descending into a new, large room.


Colours faded into monochrome as the platform descended into a laboratory of sorts. Sparking tubes stuck out of bulky metal devices, wires sticking out here and there. As the elevator reached the bottom, Discord stepped off now wearing a mad scientist coat and wearing shiny round goggles on his eyes.

Angel keeps looking about wondering why he was even brought here. He jumped when lightning flashed above his head. He glanced up and notest the ceiling was an open skylight, a raging storm brewing above.

Suddenly he was set upon a table cluttered with random beakers and tubes as Discord cackled madly.

“Ah so glad you could make it, my fine rabbit assistant,” he said acting dramatic. “For I Discord have concocted up a plan of pure evil intent. A chaotic storm no doubt brought on...by this..” He held out the eight ball smiling wide.

Angel blinked confused as Discord set it down on the medical bed cackling more as lighting crashed above.

“Angel I need your assistants yes.” He said, waving him over to a series of levers on a steel panel. Angel at first didn’t move, rather confused and scared at the sudden movements. The same guy who had abused him so many times in the past was asking for his help. This surely couldn't be good. Before he could move, Discord teleported him over to the panel.

“Ah good yes, now on my signal pull the lever. Got it?” Discord said in some odd accent Angel couldn't begin to describe. He shrugged and got ready to get this over with so he could go back to munching his meal.

With a swift motion of his body, Discord flew back over to his position. Strange music started playing from nowhere, the tone similar to something out of a monster flick. Pushing a small button, the bed started to rise into the sky, Discord laughed insanely. “Brilliant!”

Lighting intensified as the bed rose beyond the skylight and into the void above. Discord continued his laughter as he looked over at Angel Bunny. “Pull the Lever Bunny! Pull!”

Angel shrugged as if to say “whatever’ and did so. Moments later, a loud twang was heard as an anvil fell on top of Discord squashing me flat like a pancake. Colour returned for a moment as a now very think Discord wormed his way out from under it.

“Wrong level.” He said in a squeaky voice. Plopping his thumb in his mouth he began to blow into it. Discord inflated before Angel’s eyes and soon was back to his three-dimensional self. “Why do I even have that lever.” He rhetorically asked turning to face a nonexistent camera.

Moving the anvil aside, he looked up. “Now where was I? Oh, that’s right.” He pulled out a music box and pushed play, returning the world to black and white, the dramatic music booming once more.

“Hahaha, pull the other lever Angel Bunny pull!”

Angel did so and watched as lightning struck the bed from high above. Energy ran down the metal pistons sparling around the room in a display of power.


“Yes! Yes, it working hahaha!” Discord threw up his hands joyously.

The bed descended back down to the floor as the light show continued. The table continued to spark and glow even it touched the floor. The magic 8 ball glowed with an eerie colour similar to Discord's eye colour before dimming back to nonexistence.

“It’s alive, it’s alive!” Discord chants laughing quite over the top before grabbing the sphere in his hands, colouring returning to the world.

“Yes, this shall be great fun, oh yes!” He smirked deviously, the unsuspecting town of Ponyville had no idea what was coming...