A tale of two friends, torn apart by one secret. Will they be brought back together again?
Caramel confesses his feelings towards his long time crush, but things do not go as planned. They are driven apart by the small secret that Caramel had held, and all seems lost, his faith in his ex-"long time best friend" completely shattered. Can he ever hope to see his crush again?
My first fanfic so please try to be fair :) Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated! WARNING: This contains M/M shipping so stay clear if you do not like this sort of thing.
Sweat dripped from Caramel’s brow as he stood in the vast land of Sweet apple Acres, his cheeks flushed a dark crimson as he gazed at the handsome stallion on the far side of the clearing. He watched admiringly as the colt lifted up his hind legs, muscles rippling and refined after years of bucking on his land. As he watched, he couldn’t help but admire every inch of his crush’s body. Watching as every fibre of the stallion’s body tensed, preparing to buck the apple tree behind him, in the hope of gaining the delicious fruit that dangled from its pale green leaves and muddy brown branches that veered here and there, not seeming to follow any pattern as nature allowed it to grow as it pleaesd. His fur was a dark shade of crimson, matched in colour only by the shade of Caramel’s cheeks as he drooled over the beautiful body of the colt he so dearly wanted. The stallion’s golden mane swayed in the light summer breeze, gently following the course of the winds as they drifted from a place far to the east. It was the only part of Big Mac that was moving, the rest of his body tensing up for the buck he was about to deliver. His strong hooves flat, facing the large yet elegant form behind the stallion.
*Thud*
The hind legs of the stallion shot backwards, propelled by the sheer force of his muscles, connecting with the thick trunk of the tree. The pressure that was building up near his perfect flank had moved, almost flowed, through his legs. The muscles in his legs bulging as the pressure was exerted onto the tree It was, by far, one of the tallest, thickest and most beautiful trees in the whole orchard, and required the full force of Big Mac’s buck to even shudder. His previously tightened muscles had exerted the pressure that was built up, landing a tremendous kick onto the trunk, shaking the whole tree itself. The branches above him released their bountiful harvest, with a small “thud” as each succulent piece of fruit landed on the soft grass or in the wooden buckets lying around the tree. Pleased with his work, having knocked every apple visible from the branches above, began to pick the apples that had not landed in the buckets by his teeth, and gently placed each one in the several piles of the delicious red and green orbs, scattered around the tree. The way he could deliver a kick such as he had done, showing off his tough physique, only to be matched by his elegance as he showed off his gentle soul, sent Caramel’s mind in all sorts of directions.
Caramel, snapping back to reality after realising that he must have looked quite foolish just standing and staring at the magnificent colt ahead, got back to his share of the work, placing the full force of his hind legs onto the tree behind him. His muscles were nowhere near the size of Big Mac’s, and even though the tree he was bucking was not even half the size of the tree that Big Mac had just finished with, Caramel still only managed to shake a few apples off of the branches. They fell to the floor with a small thud each time, as every single one missed the buckets he had strewn around the tree by mere inches. Any other pony would feel stupid and disappointed, but Caramel knew that this was just his lack of luck acting on him again. He was renowned for being the most unlucky pony in all of Ponyville, if not all of Equestria. That was his “special talent” after all, although he found it difficult to class bad luck as a talent, no matter how proficient he was at attracting it.
Even so, he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed after his meagre attempt. He hung his head low and prepared to buck the tree again, when he resigned himself to the conclusion that, having worked all day, he simply did not have the energy to do it anymore and gave up, picking up the small amount of apples that lay on the grass around him and the tree, his head still hanging low. As if things couldn’t get worse, Big Mac had already started to stroll over towards him. Caramel’s cheeks burned a bright red as he approached, not wanting his crush to see the pathetic display.
“What’s wrong Mel? Ya look a might down today.” Big Mac, in his usual, droll accent asked. That accent always made Caramel want to melt right there on the spot, sending a warm feeling throughout his entire body.
“I’m really sorry Mac. I did try, honest! I just…”
“Mel, ya did a great job today, and ah’m thankful fer ya help. Don’ go beatin’ yerself up over it. I don’ expect ya ta be buckin’ the whole orchard!” Big Mac interrupted, a slight chuckle behind his thick accent. His accent caused butterflies to appear in Caramel’s stomach. He was always respectful of Caramel. Now he knew that Caramel, as hard as he tried, wasn’t a farm pony, but he respected the determination and hard work that he continued to show, no matter what.
“Thanks Big Mac. Is there anything else I can do to help?” Caramel asked, placing all his hope in the chance of being able to help his crush in any way he can, even if it is only getting him a glass of apple juice, a job he had to fulfil at least three times a day. He didn’t mind though, as he liked any chance to aid Big Mac.
“Nnnope” Big Mac replied; a common catchphrase that the stallion used quite often. “Ah’m thinkin’ that you’re jus’ exhausted. C’mon, ah think it’s time we head in. Getting’ dark out here. Ah’ll cook us up a nice, homemade applepie. That is if Applejack ain’t already started with it.”
So the two ponies headed back towards the cosy, little cottage that Big Mac lived in, along with his two sisters, AppleJack and AppleBloom, and his Granny Smith. On the way back, Caramel lagged behind, using his exhaustion as an excuse to stare at that amazing flank of Mac’s. The muscles seemed to ripple even as they walked! The left side coveted a small half of an apple; his cutie mark. To Caramel, it was the most stunning cutie mark in all of Equestria.
“Ummm…”
“You alright Mel?” Big Mac’s voice showing genuine concern. He was the kindest stallion you would ever meet, and he always looked after friends and family.
Caramel had decided that today was the day. He was sick of hiding his feelings and he was going to tell Big Mac everything. He was nervous, and although he wasn’t showing it, he was petrified. He didn’t want to ruin anything by telling Big Mac, and it would break his heart if he lost him as a friend over it. He was sure it would go fine though. He had faith in Mac. “I wanted to talk to you. It’s something that’s been…on my mind, for a while now. I just felt like you should be the first one to know.” He smiled, letting (or trying to anyway) Big Mac know that he trusted him.
“Ah’m all ears Mel.” Big Mac replied, placing his rump on the grass. He was always there for Caramel, and he treated this like any family ordeal. His face was emotionless. The word “serious” wasn’t enough to describe it! “What is it?”
“Well…” Caramel Struggled to find the words, his cheeks burning. He felt like he was on fire right now. “Well we’ve been friends a long time right? Heck, we’ve been best friends since before I can even remember!”
Big Mac just nodded, adding a simple “eeyup” to show that he was listening.
His tongue was dryer than it had ever been before, his head swimming at the thought of rejection. “Uhhh…aw gosh darnit there isn’t any other way to say it! I like you Big Mac. I mean, like like you. I have for a while now and I just felt like I needed to tell someone. Now I get it if your barn doors don’t swing that way, and I’ll completely respect it. I just….”. Caramel just looked into Big Mac’s eyes. Those emerald green gems. He was sure that if Rarity were here, she would be diving for them like she would a rare diamond.
Big Mac sat there, the blank expression on his face remained. Caramel was worried and was getting more and more nervous by the minute. Finally, standing up, blank expression wavering now to something…different. Caramel couldn’t tell what it was though.
“Now listen here Mel. Ah ain’t no bucking coltcuddling, freak. Ya hear me? It ain’t right, colts with colts. It’s unnatural. Wrong!” His face had contorted into a mixture of anger and disgust. His emerald eyes replaced with burning fires as he let his thoughts spill out. “Now if this is some kinda…sick joke, then ya better tell me. This ain’t somethin’ ta mess around sayin’. I sure as hell ain’t gonna be friends with a sick, bucking coltcuddler ya hear?! If you are one of them freaks, then I wan’t you ta get the heck off mah farm, and ah don’ ever wanna see you, or your disgusting, perverted ways, ever again!”
Turning around he stomped off in the direction of his home, leaving Caramel, sitting in a pile of despair and depression, to wallow in his own tears, as they began to flow down his cheeks like small waterfalls, collecting in small puddles by his hooves.
How could this be happening? Just moments ago, Caramel had been staring wishfully at that beautiful stallion, yet now, they seemed to be a world apart. Everything he had ever loved was gone, just like that.
This can’t be real. It just…can’t. Dreaming. I must be. That’s the only explanation. Yeah I’ll close my eyes and when I open them again, I’ll be back in my bed, ready to start a new day. This is just one…big…ugly nightmare.
He clenched his eyes shut, straining to close them as far as they would go, in the vain hopes that he could squeeze the dreams out of his mind. Just as his luck would have it though, he opened them and nothing had changed. They were red and puffy from what felt like an eternity of continuous streams of tears, though he knew it had only been a matter of minutes since the stallion that he had loved; the stallion he thought he still loved, had abandoned him in the orchard. He wanted to hat him, but his heart said no. When he felt like loving him, his head denied him of that too. It tore him up inside. The constant conflict within him stretching him too thin, like butter spread on too much toast.
Caramel stood up. He wanted to cry but he couldn’t. He was beyond crying; beyond showing any emotion. He walked back. He wanted nothing to do with this farm, Ponyville or any of the ponies who lived there. It was as if he had given up on any thoughts of happiness. It was too much. He wanted to run and never come back; leave everything behind and never look back. As he walked out of the gate to Sweet Apple Acres, he passed Applejack. Big Mac’s oldest sister. Though were different in so many ways, she still reminded him of what he had lost. The sight of her made Caramel’s heart clench. He didn’t want to speak to anyone, especially not Applejack.
“Caramel? What’re you doin’ out at this time?” He said nothing, walking past her without so much as a sound escaping his lips. “Mel?” He hated that word. Never before had he felt so…empty. Okay so everyone called him that, but it was a nickname that was given to him by the very stallion who had just stomped over his heart. That word only sought to empty him even more of what little emotions he felt he still had.
What in the hay is up with that li’l guy? Big Mac said that he was comin’ over to help on the farm. Maybe the little guy is just ready to hit the hay! I woulda loved to ‘ave seen that! I dunno why though. He sure ain’t a farm pony. Can’t exac’ly say nope to that kina offer though! He’s a trooper if nothin’ else! Maybe Big Mac knows what’s up.
As Caramel walked down the dusty, dirt road that lead to the marketplace in his quiet little town of Ponyville, his mind wandered to old times; years ago, when he was only a little colt. Him and his best friend; a small colt with bright red fur and a golden mane.
“Big Mac look here!” The little yellow colt yelled to his best friend, holding up a drawing he had spent all morning making for him.
“That’s uhh…good…ah guess.” The red colt replied, unsure of what he was looking at. He could see a pony that looked like Caramel. The other shape looked like a pony, a bright pink pony. “What in the hay is it though Mel?”
“It’s us.” Caramel smiled. “We’re hugging because we love eachother!” He was too young to understand what love was, but he had heard his mum and dad use the word. He knew that it meant he really, really liked him though.
“Wha-! Caramel, mah fur ain’t pink! Ah look like a stupid filly!” Big Mac looked embarrassed, his head hanging low, pouting.
“Well they were all out of red so I…Look! I got you’re cutie mark and everything!” A big smile crossed both of there faces, ear to ear, as they looked at the crudely drawn cutie mark of half an apple, bigger than the flank of the cartoon Big Mac itself. “I wish I had my cutie mark like you”
“Maybe…you can get it by bein’ one of them drawing people! What are they called? An Artis’!” It was a half hearted idea, but they were so compelled to find out what their special talent was and gain their cutie marks, that they were trying anything and everything. Big Mac had just got his after bucking his first apple off a tree. He was so thrilled that he had invited his best friend over to celebrate.
“You mean an artist? Maybe! Oh you can have this drawing though. It’s for you!”
Big Mac took the drawing of the two colts, hearts floating in-between them. “Ah’m gonna go show mah Granny Smith!” He rushed down the stairs, bounding round the corner to find a young Granny Smith sitting in her rocking chair. A smile spread across her face at the site of her grandson.
“What ya got there ya li’l whippersnapper?” Big Mac handed the drawing to his Granny, a huge smile on his face. If he was any happier then even Pinkie Pie would have trouble trying to “out-smile” him!
“It’s me and Caramel! He drew it fer me! Ain’t it nice Gran? There are hearts because he says we love each other. When ah grow up, ah’m gonna marry Mel cause he’s mah bestest friend!”
Just as he finished speaking, a large wooden object came whirling round, bashing the back of his head with an unbelievable amount of force for a woman of Granny Smith’s age.
“AH DON’T EVER WANNA HEAR YA’LL TALKING ‘BOUT OTHER COLTS LIKE THAT AGAIN!” She screamed, throwing his drawing into the fire, letting it crackle in the heat of the flames that seemed to eat away at the heart of Big Mac itself. He had never heard Granny Smith so angry, her voice like a sudden storm approaching rapidly. It died down just as quickly as it had started however, and she calmly carried on. “Tell Caramel that he better be headin’ home. Ah don’t want him round no more. He ain’t right Mac. Now listen hear and listen well. Colts DON’T kiss other colts. It ain’t right; unnatural is what it is”
Tears running down his cheeks, Big Mac ran out into the orchard, leaving a stream of salty tears in his wake.
He had finally reached his little cottage, nestled deep in the market place of Ponyville. It was usually teeming with stalls and ponies trotting along either to shop or get to their jobs, already rushing and close to being late. The smell of home-baked apple pies still filled the air around. It reminded him of Big Mac; how his mane had always had the faint smell of apple, even over the musk of a stallion who had bucked trees for hours on end. Caramel had always savoured the few times that he had managed to get a quick and unnoticeable whiff of his crush’s flowing golden mane. However, Celestia’s sun was being drowned out in the mountains in the distance, burning the sky with dark oranges and reds. The sky looked like it was being torched by the pegasi. Caramel found himself shuddering at the thought. A world without the sun is no world at all.
As Caramel opened the door, he was greeted by his sister, Toffee. She too was named after the colour of her coat, a light brown which seemed to give every stallion in town a sweet tooth. In honesty, Caramel envied his sister’s ability to find love in any and every stallion she could get her hooves on. He had yet to find just one, yet now he felt like even that felt more impossible than ever.
“Howdy Li’l bro! How was the bucking?” Once again, Caramel walked past without so much as a peep. “Well now ah don’t give two hoots if ya ain’t willin’ to chat, but ignorin’ me? That’s just plain rude Mel”. She was ready to bring a barrage of anger down on him. If there was one thing Toffee hated more than people picking on her little brother, it was being downright ignored. Now though, she saw the despair in his eyes. They were empty of the deep ocean blue that once filled them, always seeming to portray how happy he always was, always glimmering like bright blue stars. She had never seen her brother like this. He was always happy, always putting on a brave face. Now she saw…nothing, his entire being devoid of anything but sorrow.
“Mel. Do you wanna chat ‘bout somethin’ on your mind?” She worried for her little brother more than anything. She’d do anything to help him and she wasn’t about to change that just now. There was an eerie silence that filled the air. Toffee stared into her brother’s eyes, trying to show him that she was genuinely concerned for his wellbeing and she wanted nothing more than to see him happy.
“Is it about…that thing?” She asked, her voice trembling. She hoped to the heavens above that it had nothing to do with what crossed her mind. He wasn’t ready to say it and she respected that. She didn’t want to force it out of him but if it came to it; if it was the only way she could find out what’s wrong with him, she wouldn’t hesitate.
“Wha-what are y-y-you t-talking ab-bout?” Caramel managed to splutter, fresh tears rolling down his still moist cheeks, dampening the fur beyond what it already had been. He knew what she meant, and he was pretty sure that she knew about his secret. It wouldn’t be a complete surprise.
“Gosh darnit Caramel, ah know about yer. Yer dun have to hide it from me. Ah’m yer sister for pity sake!” She had known for years in fact. Call it…sister’s intuition.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Toffee. I’m tired and I want to go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning” He replied sombrely, his voice almost as droll as Big Mac’s. His own didn’t carry the concern or happiness that came with Big Mac’s did though. It was empty. Everything about him was empty.
“Damn it Mel! So what if yer like stallions! It ain’t nothin’ to be ashamed of yer hear me?” At this, Caramel’s ears perked up. How did she- It didn’t phase him that she knew. She had been hinting at it for years after all. “Ah’ve known fer years Mel. Why’d yer hide it from me? Ah love yer Mel. I always will. Yer my li’l brother.” Tears began to build up in her eyes. She had hoped she wouldn’t have to be the one to say it, but she hated seeing him like this, his old self lost in a sea of emotions, battling to break through.
“Wha- How? I never told you or ma or pa!” He was flustered. His cheeks began to burn a dark crimson as he stared into his sister’s eyes, pleading her not to go on.
“Ah’m yer sister! I catch onto these things.” She smiled, assuring him that she still cared for him, no matter what. The smile quickly turned to a snirk. The same smirk she could use to turn any stallion into a blubbering fool if she felt like it! “Ah also happened to notice that yer spend a heck of a lotta time with that nice stallion over at Sweet App-“
“DON’T talk about him” He screamed. Fresh tears began to stream down his cheeks, as he didn’t even have the energy to stop them from flowing any more. He looked her dead in the eyes, his own showing some emotion now. “He broke muh heart sis. He took it and he snapped in two”. His light country accent broke through. He was an Appleoosian at heart, yet he hid his accent well, trying to fit in. He surprised himself at how long he had managed to keep it under wraps. In this instant, Toffee embraced him like only a sister could at a time like this. He nuzzled her neck, burying his face, still soaked with his tears, into her fur, letting her fur take the barrage of emotions that gushed from his eyes. His hooves wrapped around her, digging into her sides as he felt lost in the warmth of the embrace. He never wanted to let go. He felt so much safer now than he ever had before. She was his protector. She always had been.
“It’s gonna be okay Mel. I promise it to yer” She mocked a loving and caring voice, sympathy breaking through gritted teeth. She hid it well, but deep down she wanted nothing more than to rip Big Mac in half for what he had done to her little brother, the colt she loved more than any other in all of Equestria. She broke free of the embrace, turning towards the door. As she opened it, a quivering voice came from behind, cracking at intervals through his still apparent sobbing.
“Where are you going? It’s getting late.” Caramel asked, fearing the worst.
“Ah’m goin’ ta pay yer friend a li’l visit. Got somethin’ ah need to drum inter that thick skull of his.” She replied, still acting calm and collected. She walked out, shutting the door carefully behind her. She galloped through the market place and towards the dirt road that lead to the house of the stallion that had broken her little Mel’s heart. Caramel however, had feared this. He walked to the window, watching as his sister, the only mare he could ever come to love as dearly as this, gallop away. He knew where she was headed and he followed her out of the door. He turned right where she had gone left and walked, the road leading out of Ponyville drawing close.
He didn’t mutter a goodbye. It hurt too much. He was leaving his home, his family and his friends, and he was never coming back.
Big Mac ran from the little cottage, tears in his eyes and a bruise on the back of his head from where Granny Smith’s walking stick had struck him. He ran to a small clearing in the orchard, away from the house, away from everything.
What’d ah do? Ah like the picture, Caramel likes it. Why didn’t Granny? What’d she mean ‘Colts DON’T kiss other colts. It ain’t right; unnatural is what it is’. We never kissed. Ah mean…Is it wrong? Then why can ah kiss a mare? I jus’ don’ get it! It doesn’ sound unnatural!
His face fell into his hooves. He was lying there, sobbing in the middle of an orchard for what felt like hours, when he felt a hoof on his shoulder. It had a warming effect, unlike anything he ever remembered. Looking up, he saw two pale blue eyes, brimming with tears.
“I’m sorry Mac. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble. Honest!”
“Ah know Caramel. Ah jus’ don’ get it. Why’d she say those things? She said she don’ want you round no more Mel” Tears still flowing from his bright green emeralds that were embedded in his skull. “Ah don’ wanna lose my best friend”
Without a reply, they fell into an embrace. It wasn’t a meaningful embrace. They didn’t know what it felt like to have a crush on someone. They were two friends about to be split apart because of some stupid drawing. They were distraught. They revelled in the warmth of each others bodies. They could stay like this for hours on end.
“Promise we’ll never, ever stop being friends?” Big Mac asked in his droll voice. Even as a young colt it was so seep and fascinating. If Caramel had only known that he would come to love this stallion more than anything.
“I Promise” Caramel smiled. There was a hint of hope in his eyes. Big Mac knew that they would be friends still for a long time. Even if it was a secret they had to keep. It would take a war to break these to apart. Maybe something just as terrifying.
Big Mac’s Confrontation Chapter 3: Calm before the storm
Big Mac turned and began to trot back to his house in the large clearing that housed the farm. His crimson coat was only barely disguising the deep red colour in his face as his blood began to boil at the thought of what had just occurred.
“A coltcuddler?! My best friend is one of them freaks?” He continued to rant like this all the way back, his anger subsiding with each insult he hurled at no one in particular. By the time he had arrived, Celestia’s sun had almost finished with its descent, painting the sky with warm colours. Red faded to orange, as orange faded to a deep purple, blessing the farm with the light of a thousand stars.
When he arrived, he bucked open the door, to be greeted by his eldest sister, Applejack.
“Howdy Big Mac! Ah baked an’ apple pie if yer hungry.” Of course she did. She always had a nice apple pie or apple strudel cooked when he got back from his chores. She cooked the best damn apple-anythings in all of Equestria! “You alright Mac? You ain’t looking so good.”
“T’aint none of yer business Applejack. Don’t go pryin’ inter things that don’t concern you.” He sighed. It wasn’t in his nature to show anything but smiles and good cheer when his family talked to him, but now? He was just too angry to care. “Ah ain’t hungry. Ah’ll be upstairs if yer need me.”
“Now wait up a minute. Ain’t ever had to bake a pie for you to just say no. Ah don’t think you’ve ever said no to anyone’s apple pie before. What’s wrong Mac?”
“Ah said t’aint none of yer business. Jus’ drop it AJ”
“Ah don’t think I rightly wanna drop it Mac! Something is wrong and ah am going to get to the bottom of it, if it’s the last thing ah do!” Being the element of honesty, she was likely to keep to her word. That is what frightened Big Mac the most. “Does this have anything to do with Caramel mopin’ ‘round outside the farm? Did you have anythin’ to do with that?!”
“He’s a coltcuddler sis! T’aint right, and that’s what ah said. Better he leaves now or ah don’ think ah’d be able to look him in the eyes again.” His voice was filled with contempt yet he felt a small twinge in his chest at the mention of Caramel’s name. It was as if someone was taking a hold on it from the inside. It was something that he couldn’t rightly explain.
“Wha- You said what?!” Applejack was fuming. Never before had she thought her brother would say something so disgusting to one of their closest friends “Ah can not believe you! So what if he likes stallions? What in the hay does that have to do with you?”
“You actually condone that…that filth?! Ma and Pa always said-“
“Ma and Pa ain’t here no more! Besides, whatever they said about this coltcuddling business is a load of horseapples! T’aint nothing wrong with it” She wasn’t about to let this go. In her books, this kind of attitude was something that didn’t belong in the Apple family.
“Load of horse- Now wait there for just one minute sis! They said it’s wrong. Their word was law! We respect that. You got it?” He planted his face right in front of hers, their muzzles almost touching and their eyes fixed on each other. They were sharing glares that could turn even a cockatrice to stone! “Ah wouldn’t expect you to understand sis. Now git. Before ah or you do something we’ll regret! Ah won’t stand for mah family trying to argue back!”
“Fine” she replied, snorting in disgust at her brother’s attitude. “Ah’ll go. Fer now. But ah want you out there apologising fer what you said, or ah won’ think twice about leavin’ yer.” The worst part? She meant it.
She walked out the door, slamming it back so that it slammed against the wall, only to rebound off, leaving a large crack that scaled the length of the wall, and back into place, almost ripping off of its hinges as it did so. It was a testament to the sheer force that comes with the storm that was AJ’s anger. Big Mac was angry, he was tired, hungry and he wasn’t willing to deal with the repercussions of this argument. He felt as if the whole world was against him!
“Buck this. Ah need some sleep” he muttered under his breath. As much as he hated using any profanity, it felt right this time. To be quite honest, he didn’t care. He walked over to the small, battered, hole-ridden couch, and lay down. As he began to rest his sleepy head, the smell of freshly cut apples, and crisp apple pie filled the air, sending him off to the land of dreams with a smile on his face, despite the circumstances.
“Caramel you there?” The small colt whispered. The fear of getting caught was overwhelming him.
“Right here!” The little, caramel coloured colt shouted back, forgetting that they were supposed to be quiet in his excitement. It had been a few weeks since the incident with Granny Smith, and the two young colts were as determined as ever to be best friends. They had been meeting up in secret every day they could since then.
“Keep yer voice down Caramel! We’re gonna get caught”
“Oh yeah. Sorry” he said as a sheepish smile crossed his face. “So umm…what are we going to do today Big Mac? We could draw or play hide and seek or we could go on an adventure!” Caramel began planning out their day already, not willing to spare a minute of what little time they had together.
“Actually Caramel, ah was thinking we could jus’…you know. We could do what we did last week. Ah kinda liked it.” Big Mac replied, his voice barely able to hide the feeling of dread that he was having. What if Caramel says no? Will he think I’m weird?
“Sure! I liked it as well.” A huge smile spread from one ear to the other, as he shouted in reply once again. “So is your mum alright? She went in to the hospital yesterday and we didn’t see her come back out” Caramel lay down next to Big Mac and snuggled close, his best friend giving him the warmth that he craved on these rainy days. He did worry for Big Mac, as his mother was often seen walking in and out of the hospital every now and then. When she hadn’t left the day before, Caramel wondered if something had happened.
“Ah- ah dunno Mel” The tears began to stream down his cheeks as if the dam in his eyes had just blown, releasing the water that it was built to keep at bay. “Pa says sh-she ain’t d-d-doing so g-good. He says that she m-might be sick f-for a wh-while.” He grabbed Caramel in a loving embrace, hoping that in doing so, all his troubles would leave him. The barn was quiet and he was sure nopony could hear his sobbing. His tears soaked Caramels mane as he cried on the shoulders of the colt he had come to see as family almost, although he saw it as a different kind of family.
“I’m sure she’s fine Mac. She always gets better right? Maybe…maybe she had a sleepover!” It was a weak attempt at cheering the red colt up, but it was an attempt all the same.
“M-maybe. Ah jus’ d-dunno what t-to do anym-more.”
“I think you should go see her. Right now. Don’t worry about today. We can always play tomorrow!”
“R-really? Thanks Mel! Yer the bestest friend ever!” He gave Caramel one last hug, and to his surprise (and unexpected delight) he received a quick peck on the cheek in return. He turned, trying to hide the deep crimson that had formed where Caramel had kissed him, that he was sure would show up even through his fur, and ran out of the barn, towards the hospital. He wanted to get his mum a few things first though. A trip to the florist it was then!
After picking up some beautiful white tulips and a box full of his mother’s favourite chocolates, Big Mac rushed into the hospital. He knew exactly where to go, after being here with his mum several times before.
“Oh hey Big Mac” The nurse at the desk shouted. He always visited when his mum was here, so the staff had come to recognise him. She quickly came to her wits however and changed her tone. “No Big Mac wait!”
It was too late. The little colt had already started running down the corridors that lead to his mother’s room. He weaved through the legs of the hospital staff, ducking under trolleys and jumping over the occasional chair. With the flowers and chocolates in his mouth and the young nurse that was behind the desk giving chase, Big Mac sprinted round the last turn. He charged through the door.
“Ma, ma look what ah got. Ah came to-“ He stopped mid-sentence, noticing that something wasn’t right. “Ma? Yer here? Umm nurse, where’s mah ma?” He asked, his voice filled more with worry than confusion.
“Oh dear Big Mac. I’m…I’m so sorry. Your mother she.,,” Even the nurse couldn’t bring herself to say it. He was only a colt. He didn’t deserve this. “She’s gone. She’s gone to a faraway place and…she won’t be coming back for a long time. I’m sorry Big Mac.”
“Wha- You mean she’s…what do yer mean she’s gone?”
Big Mac jumped off of the sofa, his body covered in sweat. He had that dream at least once a week, and every time it scared him more and more. This time it was worse, with the thought of Caramel still fresh in his mind. His chest began to ache again. It was a small, stabbing pain to his heart. Agh! Ah should really get that checked.
The house erupted with the sound of hooves bashing, relentlessly on the door. Each one had more force to it than the last. Before Big Mac could even wonder who it was, the door came off of its hinges, crashing onto the floor with a heavy thud, cracking the old wooden floorboards. In the space where the door once stood was a mare not much younger than him. Her toffee coat was matted down with rain and her dark brown mane was swaying in the breeze.
“Now just who in the hay do ya’ll think-“ Big Mac began to ask, before he was interrupted by two hooves simultaneously colliding with his flank, causing him to tumble to the floor in pain. The mysterious mane stood over him, a fire in her eyes much unlike the one that filled his own only hours ago in that clearing with Caramel.
“You got some explainin’ to do mister. Now tell me. Why’d mah brother come home all upset? Why’d he say yer broke his heart hmm?” The anger in her voice was only matched by the anger that filled Big Mac’s heart at the thought of this mare, barging into his home and asking him these ridiculous questions.
“Ah don’ gotta explain nothin’! Now who are ya?!” He already knew that this was Caramel’s sister. The resemblance was too obvious for it not to be. The sight of her made his chest throb with pain once again. “Nah ferget it. Ah already know who you are. Ain’t no reason to go statin’ the obvious. Now what do ya want?!”
“Ah wanna know why ya broke my li’l brother’s heart! I wanna know why ya told him that bein’ a coltcuddler is wrong and I wanna know who in the hay ya think you are!”
“Ah broke his heart because what he IS is wrong. T’aint right! I said it’s wrong ‘cause that is exactly what it is and ah am Big Mac, the owner of this fine” he looked to the door that lay on the wooden floorboards and corrected himself “once fine establishment. Ah also don’ take kindly to strangers threatenin’ me!”
“Ah don’t care if yer the mole on Princess Luna’s hindquarters! This is mah brother you treated like…well you can guess what ah mean, and ah love him more than anythin’! So you are gonna march outta there and go find him. If you so much as step back in this town again without him, yer head’ll be so far up yer tailhole that you’ll be recycling food fer the next month!”
“What if ah say no?! Ah ain’t goin’ outta mah way to find some foolish coltcuddler!”
“If yer don’t, ah’ll knock yer about ‘till you ain’t got no fight left, then ah’ll take down this ‘Fine establishment’ until it’s nothin’ more than a pile of rubble” her face absolutely screamed ‘Try me’.
“Well ah can’t very much do that with you standing on me now can ah?”
Toffee moved out of the way, keeping an eye on Big Mac all the time. “Look ah don’ mean to be so…pushy. Ah love mah brother to death an’ ah’ll do anything to keep him safe an’ happy. Please. Ah don’ wanna see him get hurt” The anger had completely left her voice and now sounded more like pleading.
Big Mac looked into her eyes, and what he saw made his chest throb with a dull pain that he was never used to experiencing. That last time it had happened was when he realised that his mother had…passed. He saw Caramel. Looking past the fact that she was a mare, she was everything that Caramel was. What in the hay is that pain?! It’s beginnin’ to grate on me now! “Fine. Ah’ll do it. Fer mah sake not his! So where is the little frea- ah mean…where is he?”
“Hah! Last ah left him he was at his house but knowing mah brother, he’s probably already left town. Good luck pardner!”
“Well this should be fun. Just let me gather mah things. Ah won’t be long ah jus’ need-“
“OH no you don’t! You are heading out now! You don’ need anything! Go on git!” If she hadn’t just barged in, bucked him and then threatened him, Big Mac thought that she might be somewhat attractive.
“Have you seen outside? There’s a storm comin’. Looks brutal. Ah can’t possibly-“
“You scared of a little rain? Ah thought you were a big and strong stallion. Ah thought you were mah brother’s ‘Heavenly and mighty stallion of his dreams’” She began to chuckle at the thought of it.
My god she even has the same laugh! “Where’d ya hear that? Ah don’ like that he’s been sayin’ this behind mah back”
“Aayep! Now get goin’. Don’t wanna get caught up in the storm do ya?” She was oddly cheery now. Big Mac could’ve sworn that she just winked at him!
“Ah don’ even know where it- HE is. Ah’ll be lookin’ fer days!”
“A gal can dream! You made him leave, you’ll make him come back ya hear? NOW GO!”
“Al’right Al’right!” Well…here we go. Ah swear on Celestia’s horn that this better not be a waste of mah time!
With that, Big Mac left his home in pursuit of the stallion whose life he had just ruined. The wind whipped at his mane and the rain drenched his coat. He could still feel pain where the mare had bucked him. Damn she has a good buck. Maybe ah should hire her. He couldn’t help but to chuckle at his own thoughts as he left the farm, not knowing that the events that would take place over the next day, would change how he saw him and every other pony completely.
Big Mac's Confrontation Chapter 4: A trip down memory lane
The cool evening air was tranquil, filled only with the sounds of the nocturnal critters as they began to awake from their slumber, and the hoofsteps of Big Mac as he grudgingly set out to find his once-best-friend, Caramel. Celestia's sun was just about set as Equestria welcomed the blissful peace of Luna's moon. However, a dark cloud hung over Big Mac that night as his thoughts kept turning to the events of that evening. Why am ah even doing this? Ah din't do nothin' wrong. What am ah even gonna say if'n ah find the guy? Sorry you turned out to be a coltcuddling wierdo!
Big Mac trotted into town to begin the search for Caramel only to find that he doesn't have a clue where to start. Now where in the hay could that guy have gott'n to? His head swivelled left and then right for a sensible place to start when he saw the small, cosy-looking house on the corner of the marketplace.
"Guess his house is as good a place to start as any" he muttered to himself, silently hoping that Caramel would be in there so that he could end his crazy search and get back to his little farm house and rest his sleepy head. Heh, been a while since ah visited this ol' place
As he stepped towards house and began to enter, memories of times he wished were forgotten, washed over him.
Big Mac sat on the end of Caramel's bed sobbing into his hooves as his friend tried his best to console him.
"I'm so sorry Mac, I..." Caramel stammered as the words he sought for were lost before they could escape his mouth.
"She's gone Mel. She's really g-gone."
"I know. I...I know."
"How? How c-could they l-l-let this h-happen? She w-w-was fine y-y-y-yesterday and the d-day b-before and n-n-now..."
Caramel just looked down onto the floorboards, not knowing what he could do or say to cheer up his friend, if it was at all possible. Even at that young age, as innocent as the two colts were, they understood loss just as well as a fully grown colt or mare could, and it hit them like a tonne of bricks.
"Was...was there nothing they could do Mac?"
"Ah d-dunno. Ah don't think so...ah don't...ah don't know Mel. Ah...AH didn't even g-g-get to say g-g-goodbye..."
Suddenly, as Big Mac continue to sob into his hooves, anger swept over him, and he felt that the blame must be placed somewhere. Unfortunately for Caramel, he was right in the firing line.
"Ah wasn't there when she passed because ah was with you..."
"Mac what are you-"
"This is yer fault! If ah was there...Ah coulda....She might not have...."
"You don;t know what you're saying Mac"
"You and yer damn...damn coltcuddlin'! Ah hate it! Ah hate you!"
With his teeth clenched and his mind in a state of disarray, Big Mac fled from his best friends room, out into the markets of Ponyville and back to his own home, into the arms of his father and his sister.
Ugh ah can't think of things like that right now. Ah gotta search for Caramel. With that, he stepped into the home of the pony he once considered his best friend.
"Uh Mel...you in here?!" No response. As Big Mac stepped in further, hbe took a moment to take in the sight. Wow...It's...just as ah remembered it...not a thing outta place. He ran his eyes over the sparkling tiles of the kitchen, the spotless floorboards of the hallway, the pristine carpets of the lounge and the stainless leather of the couch on which he and Caramel had spent many nights playing games and chatting. The scent of fine pastries caught his attention and his gaze was brought to the kitchen. Stepping in, he was greeted by the site of Caramel's pride and joy. Upon the spotless countertops of the kitchen lay a mountain of sweet and sugary goods. There were cakes and chocolates, pastries and presents, balloons and birthday decorations galore. It was as if Pinkie pie had walked in and exploded all over the kitchen. However, what caught his attention the most, was the banner that hung lazily above him. Happy Birthday champ...aw shucks ah guess ah was a...little harsh on the little guy.
Big Mac walked back out of the kitchen and up the stairs leading to the second floor. Before he knew it, he was in Caramel's bedroom, staring at the spot in which he had abandoned his friend all those years ago. He looked around at the room that hadn't changed a bit since that day and he found himself almost...upset. The walls were adorned with pictures of family and friends but mostly, and unsurprisingly, Big Mac. As disturbing as he found it that the coltcuddler had so many pictures of him, he was flattered and at the same time, concerned for his friend. There was one picture in particular that he found of more interest than any other. The sight of it brought him back to fonder days; years before the passing of his mother or the ending of their friendship, The picture that captivated him, bringing a single tear to the hardened stallion's eyes, was a crudely drawn, child's drawing of two friends under a blossoming willow tree.
"Hey isn't this amazing!" The young Caramel exclaimed as he bounced happily under the tree that he had just discovered, far out of the reach of the prying eyes of his disapproving neighbours in Ponyville. "I foundit the other day while i was out on a school trip. Ain't it the best thing you've ever seen?!"
"It sure is Mel. This has to be like the biggest tree in the whole world! And look at that!" Big Mac pointed to the sea which was just below them. The tree stood at the edge of a cliff overlooking he ocean, facing the sunset. The sea breeze washed over the two colts as they basked in the dwindling sunlight, relishing the peace and quiet that tjey so rarely obtain in their hometown. Big Mac lay down, his front hooves behind his head, as he breathed in the smell of the sea. He had always loved the ocean. The wide expanses of the open sea called out to him whenever his family visited the beach. He loved to just take in the beautiful sights and scents as much as he loved to swim and play in it!
"Hey Big Mac...I think we should keep this a secret. Just you and me." Caramel whispered to his friend as he lowered himself next to Big Mac and joined him in relaxing. "And you need to promise that we'll come here every week. We don't even have to talk...just...lay here. okay?"
"Sure Mel...that sounds...just great".
And so they did. Every week for the next few years they visited their new secret "hideout" and just lay there. Sometimes they would talk about their days and other times they would just relax, but it was a tradition that was swiftly broken by the passing of Big Mac's mother.
Aw buck! Ah've gone an' done something stupid ain't I?! Big Mac left Caramel's room and went downstairs into the lounge where he sat on his haunches and, to his bewilderment, sobbed. He couldn't understand it. He should hate Caramel for what he was yet now, when he thought of what he had lost, he could help but feel a pang of guilt over what he had done. He sat on the floor and sobbed for the better half of an hour, before he regained his senses and steadied himself, before walking to the front door. He was determined to find Caramel if it was the last thing he did and now that he had realised just how much of a fool he'd been, he was even more determined to put things right. With his regained composure, Big Mac noticed the small, unassuming slip of paper on the mantelpiece, held firmly in place underneath yet another photo of the two colts in their youth. Big Mac couldn't explain it but he was drawn to this piece of papre, like a moth to a flame, and his curiosity got the better of him as he slipped the piece of paper from underneath the picture, unfolded it and began to rea the hastily scrawled note that was written on it.
Toffee: I'm really sorry for doing this but I can't stay in Ponyville any more, not after...well you know. I told myself that I would be able to handle rejection; that I could come out of that situation and be fine, but I can't. It's too much. I'm sorry. Don't look for me, I'll be long gone before you could even find this. Just know that I love you. Goodbye sis.
Already, Big Mac had found the letter too much to handle. He had just gained the will to look for his friend and now his hopes were dashed before they could even surface. However, as much as h wished hat it did, the letter didn't stop there.
and Big Mac: If for whatever reason you find this, whether my sister found it first and forced you to read it, or you came to spite me, only to find this in it's place, I want you to know that I don't hate you. I mean I hate you for what you have done and how I tore my heart open for you, just for you to throw everything back at me. At the same time, I hate myself more for caring so much. It must be my weakness...I care too much. Either way I hate that I can't bring myself toi hate you. I loved you and in a strange way I still do, but it's over now. It's too late. I hope you don't feel the need to find me but I won't stop you. This may be foolish of me and it may prove my downfall, but on the off chance that you grew a heart back there, you know where to find me...just look in that heart of ice...I'm sorry.
With that, the composure, the will to carry one, the determination to find his friend and the small sliver of hope that he still contained from the moment that he saw his name was mentioned, were all gone, and Bug Mac was left shocked and distraught at the thought that he had lost his friend; his only true friend, for good.
Big Mac's Confrontation Chapter 5: Follow your heart
After her anger had subsided, Toffee set out to return to her brother's house, in the hopes that should Big Mac find and convince him to return, Caramel would come home first, so she could greet him warmly and call him out on how much of a fool he had been to worry her like he had. In truth, she had felt somewhat guilty about how she had bullied Big Mac into searching for him. But, in her heart, she knew she had done the right thing. He had hurt her brother in more ways than he had originally assumed, and it was his responsibility to pick up the pieces.
By the time she had left the orchard behind and set out on the road to the market, Celestia's sun had gracefully slipped behind the mountain ranges in the distance and allowed Luna's moon to greet the land with her beauty. The stars twinkled in the clear night sky like a thousand tiny gems. The animals of the night had woken from their slumber and were now hopping and dashing throughout the fields. It was a peaceful night meant for blissful dreams; yet Toffee's mind was clouded with worry and grief. She was worried that she may never see her little brother again, worried that he was alone in the world, with nowhere to run and nothing to his name. Most of all, she was worried that in convincing him to pursue the stallion that had broken his heart, she had played a part in his decision to abandon Ponyville.
As Toffee approached the market, she glanced up at the home her brother once occupied and noticed the door was left slightly ajar. It was unlike Caramel to have forgotten something as simple as closing the door on his way out. For such an unlucky pony, he had the memory of an elephant! She began to feel nervous. What if somepony had broken in? She could defend herself in a fight, but they could get the jump on her. Brushing aside her worries, Toffee entered the house and stopped abruptly when she heard sounds coming from the lounge. However, they were not the sounds of a pony rummaging through belongings, looking for anything that may be considered an item of value; but mumbling, as if somepony was talking to himself. When she entered the lounge she saw Big Mac reading a note he had taken from the mantelpiece, his eyes darting frantically from left to right, his face contorting with despair as he read on.
After a few minutes of standing silently in place, watching Big Mac as he read the note over and over again, he finally fell to his haunches and did something that Toffee had never expected a stallion of his reputation to ever do. He sobbed. His face in his hooves, Big Mac began to cry as he came to the realisation that he had lost a true friend that evening. Baffled by the way this large stallion had suddenly broken down in front of her, Toffee started towards him, wary of how he may react in his current state. As she came within a few steps of him, she was startled as he spoke in a voice that portrayed how empty he felt inside.
"He's gone. Mel just up an' left. Ah dunno where he is. He's gone" he whispered, his voice barely audible over the sounds of the wind and the wildlife.
"Ah know. Ah saw him leave when ah came to see you" she replied, barely able to contain the tears that threatened to escape. "Listen...Big Mac, ah-"
"I'm sorry"
"What?! Big Mac, y'ain't got a reason t'apologise to me. Ah was wrong to shout at ye like that, ah just...ah don' wanna see my Mel get hurt."
"This is mah fault. Ah shouldn've shouted at him like ah did. He's mah... he was mah friend."
"S'alright...ah know ye didn' mean none of it. You was shocked. You jus'..."
"Jus' what?"
"You jus' ain't a smart pony is all ye big oaf." Toffee chuckled weakly. Her attempts to lighten the mood in the dark lounge did nothing to lift Big Mac's spirit. "Jus' outta curiosity...why did ye say what ye did? Was it shock or some other silly thing like that?"
"Honestly...ah don't know. After mah Ma passed mah Pa...he..." Toffee could tell he was struggling with what he wanted to say. These were memories that Big Mac had tried to keep repressed, but in the light of recent events had come to the surface. "He didn't see eye to eye with me on some things..."
Big Mac ran from Caramel's house, tears of anger and frustration streaming down his cheeks. Approaching the farm, he barged through the front door and made immediately for the stairs and his room, where he could crawl under the safety of his blanket and cry for as long as it may take to wash the pain away. Just as his hoof made it to the top of the stairs, his father yelled from the kitchen.
"Boy! Git down here!" his father growled, followed by the loud smash of glass on wooden walls. Big Mac wavered for a few short seconds, caught between a desire to recuperate from the loss of both his mother and his best friend, and not wanting to disobey his father. However, those few seconds were enough to rile his father, fuelling his anger more than his abrupt entrance already had done.
"BOY! GIT DOWN HERE NOW!” his father screamed, voice echoing throughout the house. Another smash and some loud grumbling coming from the kitchen and Big Mac was heading down the stairs; unaware of what was to come.
"Where've ye been, boy?" The stench of alcohol was overbearing and Big Mac could do nothing to prevent himself from inhaling the foul fumes of the bottled poison, even from where he stood on the opposite side of the kitchen to his inebriated, pitiful excuse of a stallion that he called a father. Glass littered the floor on either side of him and large dents could be seen in the wooden panels where half filled bottles had collided with them. Alcohol drenched the walls around the dents, permeating the air around him with the foul smell of cheap whiskey and cider. When Big Mac failed to respond, his father repeated the question through clenched teeth.
"Ah...ah was at Mel's house. Ah wasn't-"
"I knew it! You and that boy are getting awful close ain't ye? Ye sure y'ain't a coltcuddler?" He asked, his eyes judging his son as he attempted to find any evidence of a lie. Though in his drunken state, he would be lucky to walk in a straight line, let alone play lie detector for his own son.
"NO! Pa ah ain't-"
"DON’T LIE TO ME BOY!" he yelled, as he whipped another bottle at the wall next to Big Mac. It smashed as it collided with the wall and shards of glass rained down on Big Mac, cutting him in several places and opening small wounds as he cowered from the stallion.
Wincing from pain of being sliced by the cascading shards of glass, Big Mac began to weep. He was scared of his father now, where before he had seen him as a protector of the family. Now he saw a broken man, fuelled by hate and the loss of the only mare he had ever loved. "Ah'm n-not lying pa. Ah'm r-really n-not..."
"Yer one of 'em ain't ye...a filthy, good fer nothin' freak. Well I'll tell ye...Ah ain't havin' no son of mine going around bucking colts. No sir! As far as ah'm concerned, ah have no son." The words came out slurred as he glared into his son's eyes, which were now wider than ever.
The words cut deeper than any blade could, and Big Mac found himself bursting into tears as the shock of what his father had said sunk in. "Pa ah-"
"NO!...Git out now or ah'll...or ah'll..." and with that, the stallion of the Apple household collapsed into a drunken heap on the floor, snoring heavily as he entered dreams in which him and his wife were still together, playing happily with their two children, their two daughters at the beach.
"He never spoke to me again after that. If he had to, he would just grunt or snarl at me until I shut up..." Big Mac was weeping freely now, the tears flowing down his cheeks and onto the note that he had become unaware of once again. Despite the tears, Big Mac was in control and composed himself before speaking again, ensuring that he spoke clearly. "A few weeks later he left...left me an AJ to look after Granny Smith and Applebloom all on our own. Ah guess ah...ah may have taken some of his ideals from him 'fore he left. It was all ah had left of ‘im, besides the bruises that is. As much as he hurt me ah…he was mah father an’ ah loved him as such."
"Ah'm sorry...ah... ah didn't know..." Toffee replied, crying freely with Big Mac as he recalled the story. It had struck her more than she realised and before she knew it, she was sobbing with him. "So...ye said all that...jus' cause ye father believed it?"
"Mmhmm" he nodded, slightly ashamed of his actions. "It’s hard to think of him as wrong; even after all he did to us."
“Us? You weren’t the only one he hurt then?”
“He tried to hurt AJ an’ Applebloom but ah stood in his way. Ah weren’t about to let them suffer.” Big Mac hung his head, as if he was ashamed of the purely noble actions of his childhood.
"Well...ye more of a buffoon than ah took ye for!"
"What do ye mean?"
"Yer father was a misguided fool. Sometimes ye gotta accept that ye parents ain't always right; that sometimes, they don't know what's best for ye. Ah'm sure they have yer best interests at heart, but parents can be a bit dim sometimes" She gently nudged him on the muzzle with a hoof, reassuring him that she didn't judge him any more. "Ah also acted like a fool today. Mel is gone...ah gotta accept that. He's a good, honest pony. Ah'm sure he'll do fine....Now! Go get some shuteye. Y'look like crap" and after picking him up, shooing him out of the house and giving him a playful wink, Big Mac was left alone, in the cold dark of twilight, to walk back home and sleep.
***
Big Mac spent the nest few days alone. As soon as he returned, he crawled under his quilt, shut his eyes and drifted off to sleep. His nights were plagued with nightmares, the faces of loved ones ridiculing and criticising him for how he acted. The only time he ever left his room was to go for meals or to go to the toilet, but other than that, he kept himself confined to his room, his thoughts his only companion as the citizens of Ponyville began to prepare for the upcoming storm of the century.
The pegasi were brewing a ferocious storm and the residents of Ponyville had been warned to prepare and get inside whilst they can, for the storm would be upon them in a matter of days. Trees were trimmed; the loose branches cut off and disposed of so as not cause any damage as they are hurled around by the wind. (One pony, however, couldn't help herself and redecorated more loose branches than she disposed of.) Windows and doors were being barred off to stop the worst of the wind from affecting the ponies inside. Big Mac's family had tried to get him to help, but he was too depressed to leave his room, let alone prepare for the disaster-to-be!
On the third night after his return, Big Mac found himself looking over the note that Caramel had left, as he had done several times a day over the last few days. He read it because it reminded him of the mistake he had made, and he hoped that it would prevent him from making the same mistake ever again.
Having had so much time to think about the grave mistake, Big Mac had come to realise how close-mined he had been. He had come to realise that it doesn't matter who you like, be they a colt or a filly. It was difficult for him to disregard all that his relatives had taught him, but he stuck to it, and listening to the wise advice of the only filly who had managed to snap him out of his despair, listened only to what his heart told him was right. At that moment he was content. In fact, he even dared to assume that he was happy.
Now, as he re-read the note again and again, he found himself troubled by the words that Caramel had used. Something about what he had written for him unnerved him for reasons he couldn't explain.
"
I hope you don't feel the need to find me, but I won't stop you. This may be foolish of me and it may prove my downfall, but on the off chance that you grew a heart back there, you know where to find me...just look in that heart of ice...I'm sorry.
"
It was at this point that his heart leapt a hundred metres in the air and came hurtling back down. He had to double check just to make sure that he knew for sure what he was about to say. Again, he read that last part to himself, assuring himself that he was right. He knew he was. He had to be. He just needed to be sure.
"
you know where to find me...just look in that heart of ice...I'm sorry.
"
His eyes became wide and he grinned like a maniac.
"
you know where to find me...
"
His smile widened as he said out loud the thought that made him smile with such glee, and as the words escaped his muzzle, he felt the weight of a thousand guilty memories lift off of him. He was beyond happy. He was ecstatic.
He repeated the beautiful words one last time before he raced out of his room, out of the farm and into the windswept town of Ponyville, disregarding the cries of his family as he raced out into the stormy weather. As he galloped down the dirt road that he had travelled too many times in the short time since the argument, the storm brewing and the clouds overhead ready to burst, the wind whipping at his golden mane, he whispered to himself once again, the words that had caused such a stir within him.
"I know where to find Caramel!"
Unbeknownst to him, he had just leapt from the frying pan and into the fire.
Big Mac's Confrontation Chapter 6: Lost in your eyes
Wind whipped at his mane and rain soaked his coat as Big Mac ran down the roads of Ponyville, his head set on the one location in his mind. He knew where he could find Caramel and he was dead set on doing so, even if it meant braving the coming storm. The Sky roared above him as the clouds turned a menacing shade of grey, threatening to spill their contents at any moment. He knew this was a crazy plan. What if he was wrong? What if Caramel had moved on? What if he ran away, seeking shelter nearby? All of these thoughts crossed his mind as he sped out of Ponyville and into the lush green meadows that lay before him, yet not a single one could stir him from his intentions.
Luna's moon began to rise gracefully into the night sky, casting a subtle light over the land, halted only by the thunderclouds that would float between the land and sky. As Big Mac raced through the meadows that surround Ponyville, the storm began to lash out at him, the wind and rain working together to stop him, threatening to blind him. Big Mac would not be stopped though. Nopony could stop him now, not even Celestia herself. The sky tore open as bolts of lightning began to rip through the clouds and strike the earth. It was still some distance away but Big Mac knew it would not be long before he was caught in the center of it. He had to hurry.
Just as Big Mac began to lose hope he saw it; The great tree that the two friends had found so many years ago. This was the place he thought - No, he knew - Caramel would be. It rose from the landscape like a great Green mushroom cloud. It was beautiful sight to behold. Big Mac kicked at the ground furiously, racing towards the great tree as the storm glided towards him.
As he approached the tree, he looked around frantically for the colt he so desperately needed to see. He looked everywhere: the trunk of the tree, the roots, the cliff that overlooked the ocean, even the leaves! He still saw no sight of Caramel however. His mind began to fill with the same doubts and the same questions. He worried now that he may have lost the only chance to make things right. It was an idea that plagued his mind. He couldn't get rid of it now that it was there and it. He screamed out the name of his friend, hoping that he might rely, even over the roaring of the wind and the crash of the thunder around them.
He sat on his haunches, distraught. He had lost his only chance to right the wrongs he had made in his haste. He began to weep again for the friend he had lost, yet there was no revelation this time; No clue for him to follow or hint for him to find. Caramel was gone and it was his fault. What could he do? What would he say to everypony? What would he tell Toffee? He couldn't go back. Not with everypony judging him for what he did. His mind began to race with thoughts of what he would do now that he had lost that which was once the dearest thing to him bar family. Then something moved. It seemed as if the ground was shifting, or maybe one of the roots of the tree. Out of simple curiosity, or perhaps it was the desperate situation he found himself in, one word came to mind.
"Mel?" He whispered.
The 'root' shifted some more and the shape became more pony-like. It rose until Big Mac could clearly see four hooves and legs, a long brown mane and golden coat, and a very familiar face.
"MEL! It's you! Ah'm so glad ah could jus'..." He exclaimed, his excitement taking over his senses as he grabbed Caramel in a tight bear hug Everything seemed like it should until he was pushed away.
"Don't...Just leave. Don't touch me." Caramel said in a soft tone that seemed so full of anger. After taking another look at his friend, Big Mac saw that he was different. His usually well-kept mane was disheveled and dirty. It was stuck out at awkward angles and clumps of dirt and leaves were protruding from it. His soft expression he wore so well had hardened and portrayed anger and hate more than love or kindness. Seeing his friend in this state worried him. It had only struck him how much he had really hurt his friend.
"Mel, please jus' listen to me. Ah..."
"No! I don't want to hear it. You...you treated me like I was some kind of...monster. I want nothing to do with you. Just go." He said softly. Big Mac couldn't tell what Caramel felt most. Was he angry at him or did he hate him? He wished he could disregard the second option as impossible but after all that had happened, it was a very plausible assumption. He crept towards the cliff edge and directed his gaze at the ocean expanding forever before him. He welcomed the thought of the calm waves; the emptiness of the ocean. He looked down at the water below him and thought carefully about what he should do; if he did it, there was no coming back.
"I never was a good swimmer" Caramel almost whispered. "I could never go in the deep end of the pool"
"Mel what are you-"
"You took everything from me Mac. You were the only pony I ever truly loved. I poured my heart out to you and you snapped it like a twig; like it meant nothing to you."
"Ah made a mistake! Ah regret everythin' ah said! Yer mah best friend Mel. Yer can't do this!"
"Why not? You showed how you felt back at the orchard, clear as day. What else do I have?"
"What about your sister? What about everypony who loves you? You're a Ponyville pony Mel. Don't do this."
Caramel thought about all the ponies back in Ponyville. How many of them truly cared about him? His sister did of course. Could he just leave it all behind?
"Yer a smart pony Mel. Think about this. So ya can't be with me...there are plenty of stallions to choose from ah'm sure."
"No. You were the only one for me. You are the only pony I could ever love. I tried to stop it. I really did. If you're not here to help, then just leave. Please."
"No. Ah ain't leavin'. Yer mah best friend Mel. Ah know ah did wrong. Ah was awful rude an' ah apologize. It may not be enough but it's the best ah can do. Please, know that ah ah'm sorry from the bottom of mah heart. If you really want me gone, then say so, an' ah'll leave."
Caramel turned and just stared at Big Mac for what seemed like years. He stared into those big beautiful eyes for any hint of a lie, yet no matter how hard he searched, he found nothing.
"I believe you. I accept your apology..."
"Thank you so much Mel ah..."
"...BUT, I cannot forgive you. You broke my heart Mac. I can't forgive that. I'm sorry"
Big Mac was distraught. He never imagined it would come to this. He had feared it might but he never truly believed it would. He was lost without a goal to set his mind to. He couldn't return without him yet he couldn't stay. He returned the gaze that Caramel gave him, staring into those blue eyes he had come to enjoy so much. He had always found Caramel's eyes somewhat of a trap. he could get lost in them forever and never complain. Somehow though, this was different. Something felt different about the way he looked at those eyes. Suddenly, as if something within him had been shouting and screaming for him to just do it, he moved closer and planted his muzzle on Caramel's, locking him in a loving kiss.
Caramel was shocked, yet he made no move to break the kiss. This is what he had always hoped for. This was what he always wanted. So why did it seem so wrong? He broke the kiss for long enough to know that it wasn't right. This wasn't Big Mac.
"What are you doing?" He asked, showing neither hate nor disgust anymore.
"Ah...ah dunno. Ah jus' did it..."
"Why?! Why are you doing this to me?!" Caramel cried. He hated Big Mac for all that he had caused and yet he loved him with all his heart. He wanted to push him away and yet he wanted to embrace him as they just had. "Just stop!"
"Ah...Ah don't..."
Caramel glared at Big Mac for a few seconds, trying to decipher what exactly had triggered the kiss, yet when he found nothing yet again, he too listened to his instincts. When his hoof collided with the side of Big Mac's muzzle, the large stallion went down. "What are you trying to get out of this Mac?! Tell me! Why did you just kiss me?!"
Rubbing his cheek, Big Mac stood up and looked into the hate filled eyes of his friend and realized just what was different.
"Ah got lost in yer eyes"
"What?!"
"Yer eyes. It's why ah never found a mare to love. None of them had yer eyes."
"I don't..."
"Ah'm sorry. Maybe ah shouldn't have jus' rushed that. Ah was scared and nervous but ah was...well ah was happy Mel. The thought of leaving you all alone out here was too much fer me an' so ah did what ah thought'd make yer happy. Ah guess ah was wrong" He replied. As confused as they both were, they knew one thing stood true on both sides. They wanted the other.
Caramel embraced the large red stallion, burying his muzzle in the golden mane he had come to adore, crying softly into the mane of the stallion he loved. He wrapped his hooves around him and held tight, fearing that this was a beautiful dream and Big Mac would float away if he wasn't careful. Big Mac held the smaller stallion in his hooves and although he couldn't explain why, he was happy. Never before had he imagined that a stallion could make him feel the same way that Caramel did. Almost simultaneously, as if each of the stallions could sense what the other was about to say, they confessed their feelings for the other.
Toffee trotted towards the Apple family orchard, the storm coming to fruition a few miles outside of Ponyville. She had heard of the state that Big Macintosh was in lately and she felt it was her responsibility to talk sense into the stallion. As she approached the orchard, she was met by Applejack racing towards her.
"Applejack! What's wrong?"
"It's Mac! He jus' went runnin' off screaming some nonsense about knowin' where Caramel is."
"In this storm? Darn that foal! Alright! Let's go!"
Applejack nodded in agreement and off they dashed into the sea of meadows that enclosed Ponyville. With no idea where to go or where Big Mac could have gotten to, they were blind. By luck, they chose to run in the right direction and made for the sea. Before they got close however, they saw a large and magnificent tree on a cliff-edge before them. Two figures stood under the tree, embracing each other as if they were lovers.
Just as the two mares had started to make a dash for the tree however, a large bolt of lightning struck one of the largest branches of the tree, causing it to collapse to the earth below, crushing anything, or anypony, beneath it. Applejack and Toffee raced ahead to see if any damage had been done.
Big Mac's Confrontation Chapter 7: In sickness and in health...
Applejack and Toffee raced towards the tree, a thousand thoughts running amok within their minds as to what could have become of the two ponies beneath it. They were both aware of the worst scenario and prepared for the worst. As they approached, they saw both stallions sprawled on the ground, unconscious. Big Mac lay on his side, a deep gash running along his flank. Caramel however seemed to have taken the brunt of the incident; the branch that had been struck lay across his side, pinning him to the ground. Several deep gashes ran the length of his torso and one of his front legs appeared bent out of shape.
"MEL!" his older sister yelled. She dashed to his side, placing her body under the branch and lifting it as far as she could off of him. Applejack, after attending her own sibling and insuring that he was in no immediate danger came to Toffee's aid and dragged out caramel's body from under the branch.
"Mel wake up!" Toffee screamed, distraught at seeing him in such a state.
"We gotta get 'em to the hospital" Applejack calmly replied, seemingly unfazed by the events "if'n we don’t they'll just die out here."
"Alright! Ya'll get Mac and ah'll carry Mel."
"Ah can't carry Mac all by mahself. Not for long anyhow. Ah'll never make it back to Ponyville with the extra weight."
"We'll come back fer him, but right now we need t-"
"Ain't no way ah'm leavin' him. Run on back an' ah'll keep an eye on 'em."
"Well ah ain't leavin' Mel lie this!"
"APPLEJACK!" came the familiar voice of a certain cyan pegasus. "Thank Celestia you're here. Are you crazy?! Oh gosh...what happened?"
"Rainbow am ah glad to see you! We need yer to rush back an' get help! Hurry!" Applejack explained.
"Right! I'll be back quicker than you can say Rainbow Dash!" The pegasus hollered as she flew off into the distance.
"Ah hope so..." Applejack whispered under her breath.
After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, Rainbow finally returned, along with Fluttershy, Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie Pie who, despite the circumstances, was bouncing along giggling to herself.
"Girls! Thank Celestia yer here! Quickly now, we need to get 'em to Nurse Redheart quick as can be"
"Of course. Rarity, lift Caramel onto Fluttershy's back. Keep the magic going though." Twilight replied, already having devised a plan to get them all back to Ponyville with no more injuries than were already inflicted.
With both stallions enveloped in the magic of the two unicorns, lying on the back of the two pegasi, the seven ponies rushed back to Ponyville. As they approached the gate, Nurse Redheart was waiting with two stretchers to carry the injured away.
"Quickly now! Be careful! Lay them down gently." the nurse stammered. "Oh my...they're in worse shape than I expected! We need to hurry and quickly!" she shouted as she and the others dashed to the hospital.
Big Mac slowly regained consciousness, his eyes fluttering open as he struggled to take in the surroundings. The room was pristine, with medical equipment scattered throughout. As he opened his muzzle to speak, he noticed the plastic bubble around his mouth. Applejack stirred next to him and practically jumped out of her seat when she saw that Big Mac was awake.
"MAC! Ah've never been so worried. Why in Equestria would you run off like that!?" She screamed. Yet behind her anger, she was worried for her brother. He was never a reckless pony and to do something so foolish wasn't like him at all. Big Mac attempted to reply but the breathing apparatus muffled his voice.
"Oh you're awake! Let me just run a checkup..." the doctor exclaimed as he entered the room. "Yep! Everything seems okay to me! Now you should be fine so long as you rest. I don't want to see you back in here because you ripped out your stitches. I recommend plenty of bed rest and if you can help it, to-"
"Where's caramel?!" Big Mac asked as he ripped off the breathing apparatus.
"Hmm? You mean the other stallion that came in with you? He's just come out of the operating theater. Now as I was saying, bed rest and-"
" Can ah see him? Ah really need to see 'im!"
"Well I'm not entirely sure if that is such a good idea. You see he-"
The doctor was interrupted as Big Mac clambered out of his hospital bed and collapsed on him as the pain shot through his flank.
"Careful! You really shouldn't be out of bed right now."
"Ah...ah need to see...Mel" Big Mac replied through gritted teeth. He limped painfully towards the door and through the numerous hallways until he finally reached the room in which his friend lay. As he entered, he almost cried out in anguish at the site. Caramel was connected to several tubes and wired up to a machine that monitored his heartbeat. He also adorned a similar breathing apparatus that Big Mac found himself in. The tubes were attached to several bags filled with various liquids; Blood and what he could only assume was water. Apart from the monotonous beeping of the monitor, the room was silent.
"He's on a lot of painkillers. He suffered the worst of the accident. I'm sorry" the doctor quietly explained as he entered behind Big Mac.
"Is he gonna be alright?"
"I...I'm so sorry Big Mac...the lacerations to his torso were deep and he lost a lot of blood. He suffered extreme blunt trauma to his chest and as a result, a collapsed lung."
No one spoke for several minutes. Big Mac just walked over to his friend and stared at the broken body that lay before him. He finally broke the silence after 10 long minutes of silence.
"Will he...will he make it" Big Mac asked through his sobs.
"I'm sorry. I can't say for sure. His odds are...they're slim" he replied somberly.
The doctor left the room, leaving the two friends to themselves.
"Hey Mel. Ah wish we could meet under better circumstances" he chuckled lightly to himself. "Ah...Ah'm so sorry. Ah'm sorry fer everything that happened. Ah've done some stupid things in mah time but...this was the worst. You were mah friend and ah...well ah wasn't much of a friend was ah?" He went silent for a few minutes, crying softly as he rested his head on his friend’s chest. "When ah kissed yer ah...ah never felt somethin' like that Mel. It was somethin' magical. I realized that ah...ah love you. Ah love you more than ah’ve ever loved anything. Heck ah'd trade Smarty-pants fer you any day!"
The silenced that followed was broken when Caramel weakly removed the breathing mask and spoke in a raspy voice.
"You still have that old doll? You'll never live this down." He chuckled to himself.
"Yer...Yer awake! Thank Celestia ah thought..."
"I'm not giving up that easily" Caramel replied.
"Ah love you Mel. Ah really do. When yer better ah'll-"
"Don't. Don't pretend that I’ll get better Mac. I know just as well as you do that I'm not getting any better. I know it hurts but...please, don't lie to me or yourself."
"Ah don't wanna lose you Mel. Ah just got you back and now ah have to lose you again? This ain't fair."
"You know it's funny. I always imagined that, someday we might get married."
"What?"
"I know, I know. It's silly but...I always imagined that we'd get married under the stars, under the tree that...well that caused all this."
"You really wanted to get married? To me?"
"Of course i did you dumb colt." Caramel weakly punched Big Mac's muzzle, gaining an even weaker smile and more tears from the stallion he loved. "Oh well. Not every dream can come true." He smiled as he looked into the eyes of the stallion before him, hopeful that he could pass in the arms of his true love.
"Perhaps this one can though" came a voice from the doorway. Both stallions looked over to see Twilight Sparkle and her friends at the door, all fighting back tears as they approached the couple by the hospital bed. "I read a boom once about weddings. It might not be the wedding you always wanted but...It's better than nothing right?" Twilight asked, smiling at the couple.
"You would do that? Fer us?" Big Mac asked.
"Of course. Anything to help" she said with a smile on her face.
Big Mac leaped over to her and hugged her harder than he had ever hugged anypony before.
"Thank you! Thank you so much." He cried.
"It's no problem...really."
Big Mac returned to his friend's side and grabbed his hoof, holding it as if it was the only thing keeping him alive.
"Okay then. Do you, Caramel, take Big Macintosh, to be your lawfully wedded colt, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"
"I do" he replied, a smile rivaling that of Pinkie Pie's biggest smile spread across his muzzle.
"And do you, Big Macintosh, take Caramel to be your lawfully wedded colt, from this day forward, for better or for-"
"I do." Big Mac interrupted, smiling back at his love.
Nopony was fighting back the tears anymore. Everypony cried freely and held each other for comfort. Twilight sobbed as she proceeded.
"Then I now pronounce you stallion and stallion. You may now kiss the-"
Before she could finish her sentence, the two stallion's locked muzzles and held each other as tight as they could. As they kissed, the slow, monotonous beeping that came from the monitor, became a continuous, high pitched noise that nopony could mistake. No pony made a sound. Big Mac just held his lover close and sobbed into his mane, as he relished the feel of his best friend's coat for the final time.
"At least you got your final wish" he said with a sad smile. "Goodnight" he sobbed, closing Caramel's eyes with a hoof.
Thank you everypony who supported this story. If it wasn't for you guys and girls, I wouldn't have had the confidence (or the motivation) to finish this. I hate to leave you guys with an ending like this (to be honest I planned the ending to be MUCH different!) but I feel this ending worked so much better than the other one. This is really my first venture into writing and it went a lot better than I expected! Once again, thank you so much for all your kind words and support! A very big thank you to "theMusicalCake" for the help with my earlier chapters!