Direct sequel to A Few Good Stallions. Dustin is back and this time for reals.
After the long dream, Dustin has left his coma. However he is brought back to the world he once thought was fake. Direct sequel to 'A Few Good Stallions." I promise this story is less confusing. More action-y. Also picture is of Dustin from later chapters. Or Bass by than. I switch between names.
Now I have the chance to really get into this. I will forget about the whole wraith chronicles bullshit. There will more in the "Stallions" stories.
It had been a few years since Kay and I woke up. Apparently we were in a bus accident as kids and lived out a portion of our lives. We can hardly remember what happened but the dream we had really fucked us up. I am now 29. I was 17 when I was in the accident.
"Kay wake up." I told the woman sleeping on my shoulder. It was a cold night and we were on a romantic date. She was wearing her black dress and my brown coat.
"Ugh. What?"
"Your drooling." We were sitting outside of the Eiffle Tower watching the fireworks. "I'm sorry. It's just so cold."
"I know." I reached into my pocket to grab a box. "There is something I need to ask of you." I told her.
"What is it Dusty?"
"You have been the only thing I cared about for the past few years. We made it far and even opened companies thanks to Cody being a CEO and all." (Cody is Dustin's brother.) "However... Kay Kronor..." We didn't notice the warm light that surrounded us.
Ponyville town square. Static's POV
"Alright honey. Your going to meet the man who I was created from." I said to my young filly. Her name was Silver Sage. We called her that due to her shiny silver coat and how she was the smartest kid ever born. Like I am not even fucking with you. This young filly was smarter than Twilight when she was a kid and she can already handle herself in a fight.
"I can't wait Dad!" she said hugging my leg. I love it when she calls me dad. Twilight was working on a spell to summon Dustin. In the past this was all a dream but he somehow made it real. I know it's confusing. We could hear voices from the large magic sphere Twilight made. All the ponies from town was watching this. About 2 years ago on this day... Dustin changed everything. Then there were two people standing there in the sphere. "... Will you marry me Kay?" was what we all heard. There was a few Aww's from the audience. Then the bubble disappeared and two ponies sat there looking at each other.
"What is...?" said Kay. She was short of a word.
"NO! No nonono NO! Not this again!" said Dustin lowering his head down. "Why am I here?" he yelled.
"We wanted you here." I told him.
"Is this a dream?" they both asked.
"No this is the real dimension you created Dustin." said Twilight. Dustin looked at Kay then back at us.
"You guys got me at the worst time possible."
"I was going to say yes anyways." said Kay.
"What really?!" Dustin said getting a hug. There were more Aww's. "Then I have nothing to be angry about." He stood up. The kid grew. He was as tall as Luna. Kay was only a few inches shorter. He had a tan coat and the same eyes as me. His hair and tail were long and brown. He was also wearing a brown vest and cape. The similar version of a trechcoat here in this world. He walked over and gave me and Twilight hugs.
"And who is this little girl?" he said picking up Silver Sage.
"This is my daughter." I told him. He was throwing her up and down catching her.
"Look at you! Look at you. Your the cutest kid I have ever seen." This earned a large blush on her face. D'AAWWW!
"Put me down please." Sage said quietly. He did as was asked and looked at every other pony around him.
"Guess I'm here to stay." He gave Kay a wink. She looked exactly like she did before when she was Brave Heart. He went back to her and pulled out the black box from his coat pocket. Inside the box was two matching bracelets which he clipped to both of them.
"Somepony go tell Celestia!" he yelled. "She will want to know of our return."
"I'm on it." said Derpy flying towards Canterlot.
"Where are Forest and Sky?" he asked me.
"Forest went with Fluttershy to the beach. Sky and Pinkie took their foal to the hospital to get a flu shot." I told him.
"Wait did Pinkie have a kid? How long has it been?"
"Since you were hear? 2 years."
"It's been 5 on Earth." he told me. He did look older but didn't have any bags like me. Guess he's been sleeping good. I would too If I had someone like Kay around. Speaking of Kay she was having a girl talk with Twilight. I just let them be. Dustin went back to Sage.
"So in a way I'm your dad?" he asked her.
"My dad told me everything about you. In a way yes. He also said you were mentally unstable." she told him. Oh God Dammit!
"Unstable huh?" he gave me the silliest look he could muster. He looked over at the Gauntlet. It was a large training ground full of dangerous moving obstacles ready to kill. He put a blind fold on his head and walked inside it.
"Dustin No!" I yelled trying to stop him. Then he came out of the other side of the Gauntlet unharmed. How did he?
"What do you think of that Silver Sage?"
"I think you cheated." she said. He spit out two screws and the entire contraption fell apart leaving us all in awe. He levitated a box out of his pocket and placed a cigarette in his mouth and lit it.
"You smoke now?" I asked him.
"It keeps my stress down." he told me. He never coughed so I guess that the smoke doesn't harm him as much as the normal person. Kay joined him.
"We picked up a few bad hobbies." He said again.
"That smells disgusting." said Sage.
"Sorry kid you get used to it." He said puffing a ring in her face. Oh snap!
"How's life been Static?" he asked.
"It's been great. I own my own mail company now."
"That's irony." he said. "Well for me that is." He dropped his smoke and stomped it out with his hoof.
"So I'm back in Ponyville. I don't know how to use magic anymore. I'm confused. I'm not in a coma and I am all around both happy and pissed. That's my life in a nutshell." He went over to Kay and put a hoof over her. "I'm still offering autographs!" he yelled to everyone else. No one came.
I actually have no author note to put in this chapter. How fucked up is that?
"So Dustin what are you going to do?" I asked him.
"I guess make a life here with Kay and not fuck it up this time." He said calmly.
"Your awfully calm Mr. Shafer." said Celestia walking up with her sister and guard.
"Aw look Static. She brought protection this time." He said loud enough even my daughter looked at him scared.
"Welcome back Dustin."
"Glad to be back." he said offering a brohoof. "Please tell me I won't go through any more worlds or time itself again."
"You probably won't have to."
"Oh thank god." He gave a sigh of relief. "Hey Static! How do I use magic again?"
"Are you serious!" I yelled.
"A little. I can't remember."
"Just do it. Like we use to."
"Aw forget it. Magic is so lame." And with that statement his unicorn horn disappeared.
"There is nothing wrong with magic!" yelled Twilight.
"I think using my hooves is a more reliable way to get something done than with magic."
"Didn't you have some tattered wings last time?" I asked him. Then on cue some wings popped up that were the same tan as him but with some steel colored blades on top of them.
"Keep talking Static! Your making my day better!"
"Uh... You have a big tub of jelly!" Nothing happened. "DAMMIT!" we both yelled.
"Hahahaha..." Twilight was laughing. "You two are so much alike." I saw Dustin try to fly and fall on his face. When he finished groaning he took off again and this time managed to fly.
"Good job their buddy!" I yelled. He swooped down and picked me up. "Whoa! Hahaha Stop it! Your scaring the kid!" I told him. He gave me a chuckle and picked up Silver Sage as well.
"Dad! Help I'm scared!" She said. Dustin handed her to me and put us both on his back.
"Enjoy the view you two!" he yelled. After a few minutes he went back down and got a smack from Twilight.
"Idiot way to traumatize my child!"
"Hehehe sorry." was all he said. Kay gave him a kiss on his cheek. "And now it feels better."
We spent the next several hours talking about what we have done for a while now. I learned that yes we sabotaged Dustin's wedding plan but we can at least throw it here. He said last year his dad passed away due to cancer and his mom died of the grief. Cody became a CEO of Wal-mart and made it big money wise. Kay's dad is still alive but he's in a retirement home. So it was just these two living and making the best of life. Dustin went through his pockets and all he found was 5 cigarettes, a lighter, and a couple of pictures.
"I don't mind being here but... Is their anyway back Twilight?" he asked her.
"I don't think so. I'm so sorry for ruining your life again." she said.
"Nonono... It's alright. It's alright. I just need to get readjusted to this place." We sat in the library section of the Canterlot Crib as I called it. He was sitting in a human position looking around.
"Is it me or is this place... bigger?" he asked us.
"We had a few house extensions." I told him.
"Hey was their a doctor here?" he asked me again.
"What?"
"Zephyr. Was he here?"
"There was no one else here when you left."
"Then I guess he left. Thanks." He stood up and went upstairs. We followed him into the observatory.
"Well I see you guys enjoy the place right?" He was going through some books.
"We love it! This is the perfect place for a smart kid like Sage." Twilight and I told him.
"Oh god I know! That kid is smart! Makes me feel stupid at least."
"Then she's doing her job right." I told her.
"Hahaha... You said house expansions. What did you mean?" Sage went up to him and said. "4 extra bedrooms, an extra bathroom, 4 additional storage places, and a trophy room." Dustin stared at her for a minute.
"So 4 bedrooms and 4 storage places. Is it 8 rooms or..."
"It's 4 closets stupid."
"Right... Well jeez aren't you smart. Just watch your mouth or people might take offense."
"Like when I called you stupid for not being smart like me?" He gave me and Twilight a look of pity.
"Uh... Yeah. That's right. Don't say that." I guess he matured.
"Okay. I will work on that."
"Do you go to school?"
"What do you think?"
"Well... that's why I asked. Who feels stupid now!" Congratulations Dustin. You made a little girl feel stupid compared to you.
"I go to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Did you go to school?"
"Of course I did. I just figured Twilight would teach you some things or two."
"Oh she did like this!" Sage's horn glew and Dustin disappeared. We all heard an 'OOF' that sounded like the poor guy.
"Dustin! You okay!" I yelled from the window.
"No! But that's just life!" he yelled back. "Great Kid! I promise not to hurt her!" We heard him yell again.
"Don't you even joke about that!" Twilight yelled at him.
"I don't hit kids." he said standing up. He then walked in and had a few burn marks on him which he just wiped off.
"Do you have a room available for rent?" He asked me.
"I can just give you the spare. The others are taken." I told him.
"I see. Forest and Sky?"
"Yes. And the kids have their own."
"Alright cool cool. If I'm back then I better get comfy."
I have been to busy watching Highschool of the Dead. Great anime. Love the manga. Anyways I got a sequel to my first story up and already have a few chapters in mind.
Canterlot Crib Dustin's POV
When did I go to bed? I woke up and looked around the room. Kay? Check. My body normal? Check. Don't drink any alcohol? Big X. How much did I drink?
"How much did I drink last night?" asked Kay holding her head. Did I not just think that?
"I got a hangover." I told her. I opened the door and a small yellow pegasus filly jumped in my face.
"SURPRISE!"
"Agh!" Kay touched me from behind. "Agh!"
"Agh!"
"Agh!" We both screamed at the young kid. Didn't mean to frighten him.
"Who are you kid?" I asked him.
"I'm Surprise!" Wait a minute. Who loves surprises? Pinkie Pie...
"Are you Pinkie's kid?" I asked him.
"You know my mommy?"
"I know too much. Don't eat the cupcakes." I told him. I went downstairs to get some medicine and I didn't see another pony in the building. I heard knocking on the front door. When I opened it I saw Zecora and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They were a little bigger than last time. They were, however, dresses as girl scouts.
"Cutie Mark Crusader Girl's Scouts!" They all said. Great. Sweetie walked up to me. "I'm as sweet as can be. Won't you buy some cookies for me?"
"Listen kid I haven't got the time. Go... bother someone else with your rhyme." I told her. Like a boss!
"Will you eat them with a fox?" said Scootaloo.
"If the fox was Courtney Cox. But since that is not the case get that stuff out of my face." I told them. They got my message about not wanting a fucking cookie!
"This rhyming stuff is really hurting my tongue." I told Zecora.
"Is this Dustin I see? Not a wraith and not a human being."
"Great to see you too Zebra lady." Then Static came from behind.
"Hey Zecora! What can I get you?"
"The young ones wanted my help to sell their cookies. Your friends here is apparently too spooky."
"Hey!" I said. "I am not spooky! Ow. I have a headache. But I am not spooky!" I told her off.
"Prove it." said Twilight. I grabbed my wallet and noticed all my cash turned to bits. How convenient.
"Here's 20 bits." I gave her the money. The kids threw a box of cookies at me and close the door.
"Show them who's spooky!" I said getting my seat on the couch.
"You just fell for some reverse psychology Dusty." said Twilight.
"What? Aw! AW! Dammit!" Static took my cookies and ran away. "Those are my failure cookies Static!" Too late he's gone.
"Dustin!" yelled Forest as he came downstairs. He summoned a few plants and pulled me towards him for a hug.
"Hey their Forest." Sky came down at that time as well. Pinkie was playing with Surprise. After a group hug I did notice something.
"Hey Forest. Where is Fluttershy?"
"She's trying to show Terra Blitz around nature."
"Who?"
"Our kid... Didn't you know that?" When was Fluttershy pregnant! That's it. Kid's if your reading this I shall now replace my favored f- word with a kitten noise. There are children here now.
"When the fMEOWk did you have a fMEOWg kid!" I told him.
"Was that a cat noise?" he asked.
"Don't change the fMEOWg topic!"
"About two years ago. God your stupid."
"I'm not fMEOWg stupid! I wasn't here asshole!" He laughed.
"It's a fucking kitten! Hahaha..."
"Is their anyone here who doesn't have a kid beside me?" I asked.
"Um... Dustin... about that." said Kay. "I wanted to tell you yesterday that I was... um... pregnant."
Static's POV
Oh my god... Hahaha... He fainted! That's rich.
"Someone can't handle his alcohol." said Sky.
"It appears the cat got his tongue." said Forest.
"This is gold!" I said trying to pick him up. I was laughing too hard to do it. Then Silver Sage walked down and heard my bad cackle. She saw my position and my hooves around his neck.
"Dad did you kill him!" What?
"What? Oh Nononono... I didn't kill him. He's just really happy and passed out. Uncle Dusty will be fine."
"Why is he happy?" she asked.
"Your going to have a new friend kiddo." I told her. I put Dustin on Sky's back and he carried him back upstairs.
"What do you mean?" she asked me again.
"Your Aunt Kay is pregnant." I told her.
"Oh wow." She gave Kay a hug.
"Thank you Sage." she said accepting the hug. We all congratulated her on the baby. Sky came back downstairs with Dustin who woke up.
"I'm going to be a dad!" he yelled happily. He ran outside. "Do you all hear me! I'm going to be a daddy!" he continued to yell. Didn't I do a similar thing?
I spent the bast 40 or so minutes running around bragging how I was going to be a dad. It took a while for Static to get to me and shut me up.
"So Static Wielder." I asked him. "Would you like to explain how much has changed since I was last here?"
"Well... besides that just about nothing has changed the only logical one is that Rarity found that special somepony and Rainbow Dash and Heat Blaze are engaged."
"Huh. That's different..." I said looking at the carnival. "When the fuck did ponies get amusement parks?"
"That's a carnival."
"Same thing."
"No. It's not. We got that last year. Engineer ponies kick ass."
"I am an engineer on Earth. Maybe I could get a job here like that."
"You need magic." I just remembered. I should still have that Dead Space gear from my travels.
"Did you keep my Dead Space stuff?" I asked him.
"We kept it in the Trophy room. Why?"
"I'll get the kinesis module."
"That's a good idea. If it fits."
"You don't remember me do you Static? I can build anything."
"Even an entire amusement park?"
"Fuck you." we both made our way back to the house. I went to the trophy room and looked around.
"What is this Static? You got Swords... Guns even... how did you get knight armor?"
"I worked for Celestia a few months ago."
"I see. Now you own a mail company?"
"Yep. Static Express."
"How original." I said. Then there was a room that said keep out. "Guess this is it?"
"Yeah it's in their." I opened the door and guess what their it was. Still intact. Even the Stasis module worked. Good.
"I see you got it then?" asked Static.
"Don't play stupid Wielder." I told him. When I put it on it glowed and made that electric hum.
"So you think you can just build stuff now?" I gave him a cynical look and shot him with the stasis.
"OOOHHH NNNOOOTTT TTTHHHIIISSSS SSSHHHIIITTT AAAGGGAAAIIINNN." I laughed at how slow his voice was. He tried to dodge it so when I shot him he was in the air falling slowly.
"HAhahahaha! This is great! Come on Static. Can you go any slower?" He tried to punch me but it was slow and didn't hurt.
"FFFUUUCCCKKK YYYou Dustin! Oh hey it wore off!"
"Yeah. Hahaha... Too funny. Let's go get a job."
"You. Not let's I already have one."
"Well If I don't find one I will come back and give you my resume."
"Alright then." I left the house in search for a job.
Later at the Restaurant.
"So you think you will make a great chef Mr. Shafer?" asked the boss.
"I said I will try. Does that count?"
Later at the Canterlot Castle.
"Do you think you would make a good guard?" asked the princess.
"I might. Can I come back to this?"
"Yes." I was gone.
At Static's Post Office
"Hey Static."
"Hey Dusty. Want the job huh?"
"Yeah."
"Did you try other places?"
"I don't want to be a chef or guard."
"I thought you wanted to be an engineer?"
"They made fun of me for not having a horn. So I froze them all."
"I see. Yeah I guess you can be a mailman."
"Great!" Little did I know this job was going to be hell. He slapped a blue hat on my head.
"Ow..."
"Welcome to Static Express Dustin! First let's see how good you are." He has that evil smile. My evil smile. This isn't good.
7 hours later
"Dustin. Come here." said Static while I waited outside his door.
"I'm pooped." I told him.
"I got many messages saying you messed up every single delivery."
"Aw... man. Really?"
"Yeah. Your fired."
"Fuck you I quit." I threw my hat down on his desk.
"Hey Dustin. How'd it go?" asked Forest as I went outside.
"Shitty."
"That's a bad word." said a tiny filly on his back. I guess this was his kid.
"I guess this is little Terra huh?" I asked him.
"It's good to meet you." he said.
"He has good manners Forest. That's something to be proud of." I told him.
"He's usually kind. That's Fluttershy in him."
"It's till sweet." He was a brown pegasus with mossy green hair and had Fluttershy's eyes. Just adorable.
"Hey Forest. Why did you name him Terra? Doesn't that mean Earth or something?" His kid stomped on the ground and the ground around me swallowed me up until only my head was sticking out.
"Sorry you asked?" said Forest.
"*cough cough* Only a lot." I said trying to get out. It took a while but I did. On my own. No help at all... I had help.
Later that night
"And you need this and this and this and... this one too!" said Twilight giving me a stack of books. Seriously who has this many?
"Twilight I don't need help. A baby is like a pet."
"No! That's why you do need help!" Maybe she has a point.
"Then we start with an easy book." I went to the pile.
"2000 ways to burp a baby. No. 100 ways to stop a baby crying. No. Everybody poops. Easy enough." I grabbed the book and opened it.
"I don't get it. There's no words. Just pictures of... pooping."
"That was Static's idea of learning about babies." she told me.
"I understand why now. Speaking of which he fired me."
"You got the job?"
"Did. I'll go back to Celestia tomaro and apply for the personal guard position."
"Can you handle yourself in a fight?"
"Twilight... It's me. You know I'm the best street fighter from Virginia."
"I know your a looney. But I suppose you'll last long enough."
"Thanks for the confidence." Kay walked in with the girls. Guess she's one of them now. Why!
"Hay Kay!" I said.
"Don't rhyme Dustin. It's a waste of time." she said.
"What did you do today?" I asked her.
"I got a job being one of Rarity's models."
"Green is your color darling!" said Rarity. Oh Dah-r-ling! I'm Rarity! Ooh la la!
"That's great. Just don't become a fashion addict like her Kay."
"Their is nothing wrong with fashion Dustin. You might come to like it one day as well."
"And that's your opinion." I told her. "I'm going to apply for Celestia's personal guard." I told them.
"And your not going to let me help you aren't you Dustin?" asked Kay.
"You know I'm not going to let you if your pregnant."
"And what if you die?" asked Static walking in the house.
"Well... since I'm not in a coma this time I think that means I need to be careful." Serious enough. I can't afford to die this time. This isn't a game with lives is it? Hmm...
"Where are you going?" asked Pinkie Pie as I went outside. I looked up to see a floating brick box. I jumped up and hit it with my head. *Ding* was the sound we all heard. I got a fucking coin!
Honestly enough I have gotten more thumbs up with this story than my first story. It's... different. Feels great. Leave some positive feedback in the comments please.
"So newbie." said the captain of the guard. "You think you have what it takes to be a soldier?"
"Uh... Yes?" I told him.
"Do you have what it takes maggot!"
"I do."
"Are you lean and mean or big and red?"
"That doesn't rhyme."
"You dare backtalk to me!"
"I dare!"
"Agh!"
"AGH!" We spent the next few minutes yelling at each other. I was the bravest out of all the new recruits. How do I know you ask? I wasn't pissing myself like they were.
"*pant pant* I see you have balls." said the captain. "*pant* I like balls."
"Dude. I'm getting married."
"What? Whoa No! nonono!" Hahaha the captain is a homo... Mwahahaha!
"Faggot I am not here to be your new boy scout. I'm here to get my position as the princess private guard."
"Don't you have an issue with that?"
"What issue?"
"No one comes for that job! Are you sure?"
"Yes..." They kicked me out of the training barracks. A helmet with a note on it landed on my head.
"Meet the princess. ASAP!" was what is said. Then they threw some light onyx black leather armor at me. I like it so much better than plate armor. Why? Because Leather doesn't get as cold as steel in the winter. Then I was teleported to the castle.
"Hello Dustin!" said Celestia.
"Oh... hello?" I was still getting use to that whole magic thing. Glad I switched to a pegasus.
"I received word that you shall be Luna and I's personal guard."
"I am. What do I do?"
"We just hang out all day and if need be you fight and kill all of our enemies." she said calmly.
"Easy enough." Why did I say that? Is this going to suck? Probably!
"Glad to hear it. That armor he gave you doesn't look like it's going to help what we need you to do."
"What is it exactly that I'm going to do?"
3 hours later
I was sneaking around Canterlot. I was wearing a tight black and grey spy suit (similar to splinter cell) and I worked with some of the engineering guys to make a pair of goggles. I had night vision, sonic vision, and thermal vision. My favorite was the sonic one because I could see every pony within a small distance.
"This is SHADOW." I said in my earpiece built on the inside of my mask. "I am nearing the target. Orders?" I said stalking a light blue pony with a purple hat and cape with stars on them.
"This pony has been harassing Twilight for years. When your clear knock her out and bring her to me."
"Understood." I spread my wings and quietly jumped on a rooftop. I may not be super fast like Rainbow but I am the quietest flyer here. I watched her quietly and reached into my pocket to pull out the dossier.
'Name: Trixie, aka The Great and Powerful. Hobbies: being a nuisance and causing issues. Crimes: one too many fibs and harass of a top priority pony. Don't fail us SHADOW. We want her alive.
Signed Watcher Dawn.'
Watcher was Celestia's information broker. He keeps intact with me via headset and offers me all assistance on the field.
"Alright SHADOW. I see you. Wait for me to go green then interrogate her."
"Hey Dawn. What did this pony do to Twilight?" I don't remember the show.
"She has sent constant death threats. We don't want this on any pony and especially Celestia's student."
"Understood. Is my light clear?"
"You have the sky." he said. I jumped off the roof and landed on Trixie.
"What gives-" she started to say but I kicked her in the face knocking her out. I swept her up and began my flight.
"Dawn. It appears the Sad and Weak Trixie has taken a bad fall. I think I should bring her to the castle don't you?"
"I don't know. Let's see if we have anymore space... Oh great news! We have plenty of space in the Dungeon. How does that sound?"
"Like a dream vacation come true!" I landed at the window of Dawn's office. "What do you think Dawn?"
"I think she should brag about how much fun we're going to have later."
"Hahaha... Does the branding iron count?"
"Hahahahahaha!" I love Dawn's laugh. It's hard to get him to do it but once you do he instantly becomes your best friend. It's the kind of laugh that makes you want to join in and offer him a beer. But your like me and you drank the beer.
I took off my mask and goggles and placed them in my locker. After I got out of my suit I put on some dull gray work clothes and an apron. I also grabbed a medical face mask. A few hours went by and our guest woke up.
"Where am I? Who dares kidnap the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
"I dare." I said in a low monotone voice. We had voice boxes which disguised our voices and made us sound like bad guys.
"Why is Trixie here?"
"Why does Trixie speak in third person?" Dawn asked her.
"Hey WATCHER. Let's give her the old welcome."
"You got it SHADOW." We moved the straps and put Trixie in a bent over position.
"Are you going to rape me?!"
"What? No! God what is with women and fanticising about rape?" I asked Dawn.
"I guess she doesn't know what we're going to do then." He threw me a blowtorch. We both put on Archlight helmets and heated up a branding iron.
"Tell us Trixie why you are harassing ponies or your going to get the best brand of your life." I said heating it up.
"I do it to get my revenge."
"But we saw you lose. Your pathetic."
"Is this about Twilight Sparkle? Trixie hates her guts!"
"Yes we know. We're good friends with her and we don't appreciate that."
"Trixie does not care about your excuses. I shall never give my reasons." Dawn and I looked at each other. He put a gag in her mouth and I stuck the hot brand on her left ass cheek.
"MMMHHHHMMMM!" she tried to scream. Oh your going to love this. We left the brand of a dick on her ass. HAHAHAHA!
"It suit her well!" said Dawn.
"What's that Trixie? You want another? Alright." I began to heat it up again.
"Mmmhhhmmm. Mmmhhhmmm!" Dawn took the gag out. "Enough Enough! I'll tell you. I got a letter from a friends who said he would help me out with Twilight. I just wanted to get her back. That's all!"
"So you get her back by sending her death threats? Why do you want to kill her?"
"Because she ruined my life!"
"No she didn't. The bear did. And I think you should blame those two kids." said Dawn. Damn he knows more than I do.
"Twilight is the only one to blame. Why should Trixie not have her killed?"
"Because she has a family now. A beautiful kid and a great husband. Do you want to fuck up their lives also!" I yelled at her. I guess she didn't know that. Also every pony takes offense to my language. Why? I don't give a fuck!
"Do what you want to Trixie. My associate is already on his way and I can't stop him."
"What's his name Trixie?" I asked her.
"Singing Blade." Dawn gave me a scared look.
"SHADOW that is the best assassin in the world!"
"I'll stop him."
"Can Trixie go?" I put on a pair of shades and threw Dawn a pair. We grabbed a oval silver pen.
"After this." I shinned a light in her eyes making her forget about everything that happened. Dawn used his magic to teleport her to her wagon.
"Oops forgot the hat." he said.
"No I want to keep it." I told him.
"Why?"
"I have a friend who wants to keep this as a trophy."
"Fair enough." Celestia walked in.
"Ah my informant and my new best spy. What information did you uncover?"
"Trixie hired Singing Blade to kill Twilight." Dawn told her. I went to my locker and began to change into my spy armor.
"What are you doing?" Celestia yelled at me.
"Stopping a murder." I said flying out the window. I have to make sure their okay.
I'm back on track with this story! Having loads of fun writing it! I already have so many great fucking ideas that my head will just explode! ~ Static.
I flew home in less than 10 seconds. Suck it Rainbow Dash!
"Are you guys okay?" I yelled and scared every pony in the room.
"Who are you?" asked Twilight. Oh yeah. Spy armor.
"I am... SHADOW. I need to protect you Twilight Sparkle."
"From what?"
"It appears an old friends of yours, a Trixie, has called an assassin to get her revenge. I'm here to stop Singing Blade from..."
"Singing Blade!" Most of the ponies began screaming and panicking
"Yes... I'm here to stop him."
"Well I appreciate your bravery." said Rarity. "But you'll be destroyed!"
"Thanks for the... confidence... who's that?" I pointed to the large hulking pegasus outside. He had many spikes and his wings were that off a bat. Holy Shit!
"Uh... Singing Blade?" I asked him.
"That's me. What do you want small fry?"
"I'm here to stop you from killing my friend Twilight here."
"Friend?" she asked. "I don't even know you."
"Don't worry Twilight. Celestia sent me."
"Hahaha..." Blade laughed at that. "So she thinks you can beet me?"
"Actually I came her on my own free will."
"Then your dumber than I thought. Come and face me."
"Alright then Singing Blade. Meet my size 6 hoof!" I gave him a roundhouse kick throwing him outside of the house.
"That was awesome!" said Rainbow Dash. I jumped over his sword thrust. How did someone so fucking big move that fast?! I grabbed his head and pulled myself closer to him and began to punch him as many times as I could.
"Your pretty fast." he said. He tried to tackle me into the wall but I flung myself over his head and jumped off. "Damn!" was what he said pulling himself out of the wall. I just realized I had no weapons. He has these two vibrating swords! I know they cut me somehow because I got cut on the neck. Shit!
"Your a good opponent. Whats your name?"
"I'm not allowed to tell you but you may call me SHADOW."
"Alright Shadow. Let's fight for real." He rammed into me like a charger from Left 4 Dead 2. I couldn't dodge it so I grabbed the nearest pipe and did what I do best. Beat him multiple times in the head with a lead pipe till he let's go off me. As soon as he did I ran to get some distance from him.
"I just want the girl Shadow."
"And I want you to know if you touch one hair on Twilight then Celestia is going to have both our asses laminated and put on display for all of Equestria to see."
"I can't just quit a job."
"You can! It's that easy! We already put some sense into Trixie."
"You did what! You assaulted my client!"
"Uh oh." He got bigger. Their was fire in his eyes and when he pulled out his sword a singing noise was heard. Like a chime you bang on the wall. Glad I was wearing a mask which canceled out any of his brain damaging plans!
"SHADOW! It's Watcher! I know your not going to back down so I'm sending some men with weapons for you! Survive until their in place!"
"Alright. Hey Blade! I met your mom last night!"
"GGGRRRRRRRR!" was the only noise he made.
"And she was a really nice pony who never did anything to turn me on." Oh god! I'm going to die for reals!
"We were working on some weapons for you SHADOW." said Dawn. "We got two scythes in the box behind the building to your right. They should get the job done." I took off and got in an alley. I was basically impossible to see in the dark. When he was going from building to building I made my way to the box.
"Damn!" there was two large scythes that had positions for me to place my hooves in them. They go up my arm backwards and so I guess it's built for crowd control.
"You can put them together to make a double sided halberd." said Dawn.
"Appreciate it!" I took off after Blade. When I found him he was about ready to start killing innocent people to get my attention.
"Ah! There you are!"
"Sorry Blade! Had to get properly armed."
"Then let's do this." We charged each other in the air. I held up my hooves and blocked off both of his swords. When he was struggling to get them free I quickly moved my right hoof up and sliced him across his face.
"OW! DAMMIT!" He held his face in pain. I took this time to get up close and personal with him. I gave him about 15 good non-lethal cuts. I didn't want to kill him If I could avoid it.
"Shadow head my words. I shall not harm Twilight Sparkle." Phew! That's great news! "I shall hunt you down!" Well... shit. He took off to the sky and disappeared.
"Great job Shadow." said Celestia. "You stood up to the best assassin in Equestria."
"Wait he's the best? Hahaha!" I took him down like butter on bread. It was that easy!
"Thank you!" said Twilight. All the ponies in town cheered. "Hooray!" I felt someone touch my mask so I smacked the hoof. As it turns out I just smacked Rainbow Dash.
"Hey what gives!" she said.
"Sorry. I can't take this off." I told her. I don't want people to know it was me. I don't need Singing Blade hunting me down. He sounded like he really meant it. "I know you don't like heroes Rainbow Dash. But trust me I don't need you unmasking me just yet."
"Uhhuh. And next your going to tell me that Celestia hired you to be her spy or something."
"That's exactly right." Celestia said. She was trying to keep everyone distracted so I could get away. When I got to an alley way I began to talk to Dawn.
"WATCHER get me to the castle please!" I asked him.
"You got it." he said. I was in the armory Celestia set up for me. "Nice job Dustin. Didn't know you had that much guts."
"I didn't either Dawn." I took off my scythes and armor. "Thanks for the weapons. You really saved my life their."
"No prob. Just be thankful I had those packed up and ready to go."
"I'm more than thankful Dawn. Now I'm a god damn hero."
"Don't let it go to your head."
"I'm not. It's just that their supporting murder. They want me to kill. I'm no saint."
"Their isn't anything to be proud of what we do is their?" he asked me.
"Yes. It's us. We have to get our hooves dirty for others. This isn't new to me." I told him.
"Then we will get through this fine. Dustin I think we need to lay low for a while."
"I agree. I don't want Singing Blade to know that I'm SHADOW and kill me." I was spraying some medical aid spray on the cut on my chest.
"Come back tomaro. Until then we rest."
"Agreed. See ya Dawn."
"Bye Shafer." I left the building. I can't tell my friends or my wife to be that I was SHADOW. Or Shadow. I like using all caps because it sounds like a codename but they think it's my actual name. Odd... I saw Trixie over at the market. She still has that brand! Hahahahaha...
"Stop staring at Trixie." she told me.
"Sorry. Couldn't help but notice the tattoo on your flank." I told her.
"What?!" She grabbed two mirrors and looked at it. Her face was of pure shock. She quickly ran home and grabbed her cape. I left before she made it back to yell at me for looking at her ass. When I got near home I noticed the destruction I caused. Not much but their was some collateral damage. A piece of a wall fell on a kid and gave him a concussion was what the chief director told me at the scene. He knew I was Shadow. He was the one who didn't call the SWAT ponies on my ass.
"Thanks Chief." I told him.
"Keep up the good work Shafer." he told me. We parted ways and I saw a few ponies cheering for Shadow to come back out. Celestia pointed out he was gone. She and I winked at each other and I went home.
"So what happened guys?" I asked my friends.
"This bad ass spy came here and saved us from the assassin Singing Blade." said Twilight.
"Total showoff!" said Rainbow Dash.
"What's her problem?" I asked Twilight.
"You know how she gets when someone is a better hero than her." she told me.
"I guess. Did you see the spy's face?" I asked her.
"No he was wearing a body suit with a mask and goggles. A high tech pegasus." she told me.
"Good technology? Impressive." I told her as if I didn't have a clue.
"What did you do today?" asked Static Wielder. Shit fuck monkeyballs!
"I was training this morning..." still trying to come up with a lie. "... and I delivered a message from the Princess to Trixie. Something about harassment I think." I told them. I'm a great lier. Always have been.
"Sounds nice." said Sky. He slept during the entire thing.
"That was a badass spy!" said Forest.
"Aw! And I missed him?" I asked.
"And all his fans! I mean come on!" Rainbow was still complaining in the background. Pinkie was trying to cheer her up. I got bored so I went to hang with the kids.
meanwhile at Canterlot Elementary Sage's POV
I was taking notes in class while paying attention to the teacher.
"Can anyone tell me who was the human being that came here and created this dimension?" I raised my hoof.
"Yes Sage?"
"Is it Dustin?"
"Yes! Good job Sage." I smiled. I was the smart kid in class.
"Of course she knows it." said Diamond Tiara. She was moved here from Ponyville after her dad got his job repositioned here in Canterlot. "I mean she basically lives with the guy." What a... what was the word dad used? Batch?
"Diamond Tiara don't be jealous because Silver Sage is smarter than you and is younger as well." said Terra.
"At least my mom doesn't hide when she sees her own shadow."
"Leave my mom out of this Tiara." he said going back to his notes. I heard a *tink* noise at the window. I looked outside and saw Dustin waving at us. I waved at him. He looked so joyful. How can anypony be so happy? He held up a sign. 'Would you like me to pick you up from class early?' it said. I shook my head no. He gave me some puppy dog eyes and a sad lip. I shook my head again and he just shrugged it off. He walked away.
"Silver Sage? Would you answer this problem?" I looked at the board. It was a half-life problem.
"What kind of scientific method is this called?"
"Is it a half-life?" I asked her.
"Yes! I am so giving you a golden star." She put a star beside my name on the chart to the left of the board.
Number of stars:
Sage: 34 no wait... 35 Terra: 11 Surprise: 9 Dinky: 9 Silver Spoon: 0 Diamond Tiara: 0 Applebloom: 7 Scootaloo: -5. How is that possible? Sweetie Belle: 9. Now why can't Scoots be like Sweetie?
"Your still on the top of the class Sage. Keep up the good work!" said Mr. Cheerilee. She got moved here when Dustin destroyed the Ponyville Elementary by accident. So much better than Ms. Grouch. She was a total grouch.
Yesterday
"So I just throw this Static?" asked Dustin. He was practicing his aim.
"Yes. Be careful though. That's an actual bomb." Dustin threw a grenade out a window but Pinkie stood their for no reason, hit the grenade with her face cutting it on, it bounced off the ground and went into a pneumatic air tube and shot out of the house. We all watched it fly towards Ponyville and the school blow up. Luckily no pony was hurt.
"PPPPFFFFTTT!" was Dustin trying to whistle as he walked away.
Now
Surprise threw me a note. "Hey Sage can you help me?" I wrote 'With what?' and threw it back. He scribbled on it and threw it again. 'I need help setting up to scare Diamond Tiara. She was a total jerk to you a few moments ago.' I laughed. We continued the note throwing.
'What do you need?'
'What is she scared of? I really want to surprise her.' I used my magic to go through her thoughts. She's scared of bad stories... dirt... and anybody better than her. I wrote those down and threw the note to him.
'I'm not sure how to scare her with anything you said except dirt. Guess that's what we get to make due with.' Then the class bell rang.
"Okay class! Be careful and have a great day!" said Ms, Cheerilee. We all left and watched as Surprise came down from the air vent behind Diamond and dumped a few buckets of mud and dirt on her.
"AAGGHHH! This is so gross! I'm going to get you for this party boy."
"Surprise!" He said jumping back into the air vent. It was worth a good laugh. Then Terra and I walked outside. Fluttershy came to meet him outside and same thing with Sky meeting Surprise. Dustin was the parent who came to me.
"Hey kiddo! Static wanted me to pick you up today." He told me.
"Dad always picks me up. What did you do to him?"
"He took Twilight to the castle. Someone tried to kill your mom but one of Celestia's spies saved her and so they have to go talk to the princess." He told me.
"Is mom okay?"
"Not a single scratch on her. Then again I didn't see the fight." He told me while putting me on his back. "You have fun at school?" he asked.
"Yeah! And Diamond Tiara got a Surprise scare." I told him.
"Oh I see. Hahaha.... I love you kids. So much fun and energy." He began flying towards home. "I know that Diamond kid. She's a total snob like her daddy."
"You know her dad?"
"He owes me one. I'm Celestia's personal guard and I helped him."
"Wow. Your pretty cool Dustin."
"Thanks Sage. Your dad is better than me so don't forget that." he said.
"Okay." We got home pretty fast. When we did mom and dad meet us at the door.
"Thanks for getting Sage, Dustin." said Twilight. He and dad went outside to talk so it was just me and mom.
"What's wrong mommy?" I asked her.
"I was almost killed today."
"Are you okay?!" Oh no! Someone's trying to kill mom?
"I'm perfectly fine. I was saved by a pony named Shadow. He works for Celestia."
"Oh okay. As long as your fine right?"
"Your right Silver. I'm just still a little scared that's all."
I'm happy that I finally got a comment from my man 'a space marine brony' about this story. Yeah I'm calling you out! Thank you! Anyways I am really getting tired of all this spring break shit. All of my fucking friends left me here and didn't fucking offer me a fucking ride! But now I get to write so... that's something.
I went outside to talk with Static after I dropped off Silver Sage. She went inside to talk about Twilight.
"What do you need?" I asked Static.
"I need to know who to thank for saving Twilight. I did nothing about it man!"
"Aw Don't say that! You gave her your support and love. Doesn't that sound corny?"
"It does." You don't have to agree with me dick!
"What did Celestia say?"
"She said that she wouldn't reveal Shadow's true identity."
"Why the fuck not?" I asked him.
"She said that the assassin who failed yesterday is going after him. We don't want to get this guy killed."
"Well I know him Static. I won't tell you who it is but I will tell him you said thank you."
"Alright. Thanks Dustin. How do you know him?"
"Uh... I'm Celestia's guard remember. Now that I think about it I haven't seen much of Luna."
"She's been busy. Had to travel all over during her Night Sessions in court. She's more of a warrior princess than a diplomatic one."
"Alright Cool! Have you seen Kay?"
"She went with Rarity to the fashion show. Photo Shoot wanted her back."
"Alright then. I need to go see the princess." I told him
"Alright be careful. If someone tried to kill Twilight then they might try to kill the human who gave us life."
"I'll watch out Static. Don't worry. Your kid needs you to be strong for your wife."
"And you have a kid on the way. I'm serious be careful."
"Alright. Brohoof?" I offered my hoof.
"Brohoof!" he accepted it. BECAZ WE AWESOME! Alright... that was so not lame!
I went to the castle and met with Dawn at the door. We knew that this would cause a diplomatic incident.
"How bad is it?" We both walked to the throne room.
"Terrible. Their trying to throw Celestia under the royal chariot."
"Why?"
"Because she has a too advanced fighter. You."
"But that's just street fighting." I told him.
"Well you stopped Singing Blade. They don't know it's you either so keep you cover."
"Alright." I walked into the throne room. Their was a bunch of diplomats yelling at each other and I took my seat on the left with the other guards.
"This SHADOW is too advanced for someone as powerful as you too keep to your self Celestia." yelled Prince Bloodmane.
"Shadow only fought to protect. Their is nothing advanced with him. He's just a good fighter." She told him.
"I agree. We can't get jealous because we don't have as good spies." said Princess Sundance. "Our spies our fine. We always need them. They don't have to be blood thirsty warriors Bloodmane." she said.
"I disagree. I want to meet this pony and find out how he got so good." He gave me a look. "You! Where were you earlier when the fight happened?"
"I was delivering a message for the Princess."
"Did you not protect her?"
"She wasn't in danger. Now back down please." He got out of his seat and walked right up to me. He was fairly large for a griffon. "Do you dare?"
"I dare you to stand your ground and get out of my face!" I yelled for everyone to here. "How dare you accuse me of something that I haven't done! You have no fucking right to come over here and point fingers for no reason!"
"Are you this Shadow we all have heard off?" He asked. I looked over in the crowd and saw a large pony with a hood over his head. Singing Blade...
"Me? Shadow? Hahaha! I'm still in training!" Everyone laughed at the griffon.
"Fine then. What is your name?"
"I'm Shafer. Nice to meet you."
"Not so nice to meet you. Head my words Shafer. You have a sharp tongue. Be mindful of who you cut with it." That's actually a pretty wise thing to say. I saluted him. "YES SIR!"
After the whole meeting, I waited for everyone to leave. I only had the princesses to talk to.
"So Celestia why did he just take offense towards me?" I asked her.
"Bloodmane is jealous that I have a far more powerful pony than his entire army." I see.
"Luna did you see the pony in the back with the hood?"
"I did. He was giving off mixed feelings."
"It was Singing Blade."
"How do you know?" asked Luna.
"I saw his face. There was a cut from when we fought last time."
"Understood. Be careful."
"Alright. Do you have anything you want me to do?" I asked them.
"We want you to spy on the griffon prince." asked Celestia.
"And if you can find out his plans. I feel like he wants to overthrow us." added in Luna.
"Mission Accepted." I went to the armory and changed. Dawn got in his office and started using his magic to lift up maps and notes.
"Get moving Dustin!" he said. I began my silent flying towards the Griffon Mountains. When I got to the bottom I began my conversation.
"Alright Dawn. What's the quickest way?"
"Fly over the south mountain. It has the least guards."
"Makes sense. South faces the sea."
"And who brings a boat to fight a bunch of flying birds." I flew over the mountain and quietly I walked around the guards. I made my way into town. Not a single pony in sight. Meaning... No allies.
"WATCHER I'm in." I told Watcher Dawn.
"Alright SHADOW. Stay in the alleys and don't fly. Too much air traffic." He was right. Every spot was covered by a griffon. Glad I'm better on the ground anyways. I made my way to the castle which was a simple climb. A bunch of poles and shimmies and BOOM here I am!
"We're in." I told Dawn. My mask didn't allow any noise to leave. So I could talk quietly and not be heard. They can still here me scream though.
"Alright. Their should be a war room on your left. Get in and get to the files." I made my way around like Naked Snake. Not Solid Snake. I mean Big Boss. The greatest one of the many Snakes. Also I don't have a mullet so that's that. I ducked behind plants and dodged around flashlights and search teams. I made my way to the War room and almost woke up the general.
"*Snore* Got to... *Snore* Deliver plans..." How sweet. That's right. Tell me what you need. I went to the file cabinets and inside was everything we needed.
"Alright. Grab the files that say 'Princess Problem.' 'Equestria Reformation.' and that one! The one that says 'Shadow Threat.'' I grabbed everything then made my way back out. I cut on my thermal vision and saw that all the guards were in the west wing of the castle. Great! I made my way out quietly and got back to the window. I climbed down and stayed in the shadows till I got over the mountain.
"Great job SHADOW! Take it home!"
"Roger that. Stand by." I quickly made my way back. No one followed me and I didn't leave any signs that I was there. When I got back I gave Dawn the documents and began to read them with him.
"Alright Dawn. I'll take Shadow Treat."
"I'll take Equestria Reformation. Celestia wants to read this one herself." He gave her the document saying 'Princess Problem' to the princess when she walked in. She closed the door and put a magic barrier around us. So no one could hear us or attack of course.
"Let's see here..." I opened mine. "We have a situation. Celestia has a new spy. This one means business. I'm afraid we don't know who it is but all we know is that it's a tall male and a pegasus. He goes by Shadow. I don't think that's his name. He also managed to beat Singing Blade who went to assassinate Twilight Sparkle. Our plan has been ruined. Never should have trusted Trixie. We were going to kill Twilight and while Celestia was weak kill her too. Now we have this Shadow threat and we can't take any chances. Celestia also got a new personal guard recently. His name is Shafer. I know that's not his first name but he didn't tell us. Instead he made a fool out of Bloodmane in public so even if he's not Shadow the Prince still wants him dead. No mistakes." I closed it and laid it down on the desk. "Well... shit."
"Alright..." Dawn opened his. "The plans for Equestrian Reformation have been postponed. We can't get a conference with the Princess by herself to kill her then so we need to come up with something. Once we remove the ponies we can go back to our average day lives. It's not that we want to kill them all, some of us do, It's just that we're scared of the ponies. They have far better technology and Celestia's army has improved it's game since that Human Incident 2 years back. Why couldn't he help us. We don't even have any info on the humans. Only that he died and gave us all his humanity. This human spirit is what makes us fight. For domination over others. Griffons for eternity!"
"Sounds like this is going to bite me in the ass." I told them.
"Now we can back up the conspiracy theory." said Dawn.
"Ahem..." said Celestia opening the last document. "The princesses need to be overthrown. We believe their is a way to kill them and take their magic. If we do we can control the sun and moon making the world bend to our will. But we have some minor issues. 1. We can't get close enough to them. 2. They know something's up with us and we can't trick them either. 3. It appears the princess have a new tool up their flanks." "How rude." added in Celestia. "Ahem.... They have a new spy who is a master on the battlefield. He stopped Singing Blade and has stopped the Prince from getting any proper answers. This 'Shadow' needs to be eliminated. Any means necessary. We think it's her new personal guard but the pony is still in training. He didn't look like he was lieing either. No one is that good at telling a lie."
"We need to think about this." said Dawn.
"I agree. Celestia do you have any thoughts on this?" I asked her.
"We send you in to tell the Prince about what wrongs he is doing." she told me.
"You want me to beat him diplomatically?"
"Yes. You have to sneak in again. I'm sure their guard is up if they noticed we took some files from them."
"How do they know it was us?" I asked her again.
"Griffon's aren't that sneaky and dragons aren't that small."
"Alright then. When do I leave?"
"Tomaro. Be ready."
"Yes ma'am." I left through the window after I changed back to my normal clothes.
"Oh wait Dustin!" said Celestia.
"Yes?"
"We got your payment." She levitated a sack of money towards me. "4,000." she said.
"Wow! Really?"
"No it's actually 3,987,"
"Close enough." I took it and after a few 'Thank yous." I went home.
"Their you are!" said Kay when I walked in. She was wearing a tight green dress that Fluttershy helped Rarity come up with. It really spoke to Nature. Oh she was amazing in it! Damn you pony hormones!
"What do you think?" she asked.
"You l-look amazing!" I stuttered. I only do that when I'm nervous. I'm only nervous around people I find attractive. She knew that.
"Thank you sweetie. What's in the sack?"
"Almost 4,000 bits."
"Wow! How did you get that much?"
"Just working." I told her getting a kiss in return. "What did you and Rarity do today?"
"Well I did everything she asked for and Photo Shoot loved it so Rarity is making new dresses. It's a lot of fun actually. Except the paparazzi." She whispered the last part in a cold dead serious tone. "I'm also helping Fluttershy with her animals."
"Great! What time is it?" I asked her.
"It's about 7:30."
"I'm starving." When was the last time I ate? I can't remember that's how bad it was. After a half hour of waiting and talking to my friends we all sat down at the table and ate a large buffet of soups, salads, and sandwiches.
"So who's ready for a game?" asked Static. I raised my hoof because I don't want to talk with a mouth full of food.
"I do." said Sky.
"Me!" said Forest. The kids raised their hooves and then the girls did. We spent the next hour playing ponyfied versions of Clue, Twister, and even Scrabble which I lose every fucking time!
"Aw! Dang it!" I put my hoof on the table. "How do you get Pie out of Mediocrity?" I asked Static.
"Dude you don't use definitions. You spell out the words."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Well now I know. And Knowing is half the battle!" then we all heard a large ruckus of noise from outside. We all went outside and saw as Colgate was going to jump off a building.
"I'm tired off this life!" she cried. I quickly went around when no one was looking and made my way around the building edge. When she saw me she hung on to the building. "Don't come any closer!" she yelled at me.
"Hey hey hey! Take it easy! No one's going to hurt you." I told her. I looked down to see her best friend Berry Punch crying.
"I have to do this!"
"No you don't." I looked at Vinyl Scratch and mouthed 'Disappoint' to her. (The song lyrics come from 'Disappoint.' by Assemblage 23.) Colgate looked at me and asked
"Do you believe in the nobility of suicide?"
"No." I told her. When the music started I sang with the beat.
Just one more time For the sake of sanity Tell me why Explain the gravity That drove you to this That brought you to this place That pushed you down Into the soil's embrace
I moved closer to her
Give me the chance I was denied To sit and talk with you For one last time
She got away from the edge
Did I disappoint you? Did I let you down? Did I stand on the shore And watch you as you drowned? Can you forgive me? I never knew The pain you carried Deep inside of you.
She began to cry some more and hug the wall. She was too scared to move.
I can't forget Having to see The words that knocked the wind Right out of me It's not enough I've come undone Trying to find sense Where there is none
I stopped singing when I was close enough to grab her. When I did grab her I jumped and slowly glided back down. Getting everybody's cheer. The police wrapped a blanket around her and I heard Berry Punch say 'I'm Sorry!' multiple times.
"That was great Dustin!" said Twilight.
"Didn't know you could sing darling." said Rarity.
"Your words sound painful." said Fluttershy. I loved how she was so quiet and was the one to ask that. She might understand me since she is the sweet quiet pony.
"They're words from a song but I know the pain of suicide as well." Kay nodded and didn't say anything.
"What do you mean?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Remember when I said my mom died of a weak heart?" they all nodded. "She jumped. Couldn't take the pain of my dad's death. That's why I don't believe in the nobility of suicide." I held my tears in. I noticed the kids weren't out here. Guess they were sleeping. I need to get to bed. A good night with Kay will make me feel so much better. I need to sleep well. Tomaro is going to be hell. Hah! I just rhymed again! I'm getting good at that! Thanks Zecora!
Let's settle this thing. One bird down and one still sings.
I finally got into making chapters over 2,000 words again. It has that sense of accomplishment to it. That or I'm writing too much... Yeah accomplishment. I hope.
I was having a great night with Kay. After the whole dinner thing and some games, followed by some suicide prevention, we were going to have some fun. I laid on top of her.
"Ooh... Someone's feeling lucky." she said.
"Can't blame me. I've done some good today."
"That you have." She kissed me first. Dammit she keeps beating me to it! We we're really about to go at it then the door opened.
"Uncle Dustin?" asked Silver Sage. Oh why now?
"Uh... yes?" I asked her.
"I had a bad dream." she told us.
"Where are Static and Twilight?" asked Kay.
"They are visiting a friend."
"Want to sleep here?" asked Kay. What? She can sleep with Terra or something! Develop a childhood relationship like mine and Kay's. It's that easy.
"Yeah!" Her eyes are shinning. She may have my eye color but she has Twilight's... Sparkle. Hah!
"Alright..." She quickly got between us. "Do we finish?" I asked Kay.
"What? No! There's a kid right here!"
"Are you two going to do the Naughty Hug?" asked Sage.
"Uh... No. Where did you hear that?" I asked her.
"Aunt Pinkie."
"Well there's your problem." She fell asleep on Kay.
"Aw... Dustin look!" she whispered.
"Just think we're going to have a kid." We got in a hug and fell asleep. We woke up figuring out it's been about 9 hours. I looked down and noticed Sage had left. She was standing at the foot of the bed.
"Jeez you two sleep a lot."
"I'm old! I get to sleep as long as I want." I told her.
"How old are you?"
"I'm 29. When I was a kid I use to be full of energy." I told her.
"I'm 2!" and she's in school? I asked Celestia about this and she said kids grow up fast. Like how Twilight moved to Ponyville when she was still basically a child herself. Celestia also said most ponies live to their hundreds. Except her. Man I think being immortal sucks.
"How old are you?" She asked Kay.
"I'm only 26." said Kay.
"Wow you look like your 19!" said Sage.
"Aw! Thank you!" she gave her a hug. D'aww...
"How do I look?" I asked her.
"Pretty old."
30 minutes later
Kay and I visited Rarity.
"Oh Kay! Glad your hear darling! Can I get your assistance?"
"Of course. What do you need?"
"To dress you up!" She pulled Kay into the room and chaos insured.
"Bye Dustin!" was what she said before getting pulled into the room leaving by myself. What the fuck just happened?
I went outside and thought to myself. I might die tonight and I haven't seen Heat Blaze since I moved hear. Then speaking of the devil a large fire track appeared across the sky!
"Dustin!" it said before landing in front of me.
"Lucas!" I said pulling him into a brohug.
"It's great to see you. I know that I should have earlier but I've been busy."
"No it's cool! Heard you and Rainbow are getting hitched." I know he is. When I was Static and went through his mind... Aw! I remember the sex! Ew! Ew ew EEEWWWW!
"Hey Dusty... your eyebrow is twitching."
"It does that when I think really hard." He laughed.
"Anyways yeah I'm getting hitched. How did you know?"
"Static. Hey congrats."
"Thanks. Heard the same about you and Kay Kronor. She still hot?"
"The hottest."
"I'm sure! Sexy Irish girl!" He continued to think about it until a shoe went out an open window and hit him on the head.
"Ow! She's working with Rarity? Yikes. Hay I heard that Rarity was with a prince or something like that."
"Oh really? What's his name?"
"Dream Weaver."
"What?!"
"You know him?"
"Yeah! H-He's really cool!" He flipped me on my ass last time. Then again since White Tulip is alive and Sundance is calm. I'm sure Dream doesn't want revenge or anything like that. Cross my... hooves?
"Did you hear Dustin?"
"About what?" I asked him.
"Their is this really kick ass spy out there. Name's Shadow! Odd I know but he kicked Singing Blade's ass, saved Twilight, and is rumored to be mooching off the princess!" What the fuck kind of rumors do these ponies listen to.
"Hey Dusty... Eyebrow's twitching again."
"Yeah it does that." Now I have images of fucking Celestia in my head! No not seeing her but literally fucking her! Gah! It Burns! She's too big for me! Not that my dick size has anything to do with it of course.
"I got to go and deliver this package for Static." he said taking off at the speed of light.
"Okay... Bye!" I yelled. He only waved at me. That was nice. Maybe I'll meet Dream Weaver again and not be threatened. Then a large dark Alicorn walked around the corner. It was him alright. What is with me and coincidences?
"Hey Dream!" I said.
"Hey Dustin!" he said back. "Sundance told me everything about you." He looked left and right. "Shadow." He whispered.
"What?!"
"Hey thanks. Rarity was there and she could have been hurt if you didn't stop that assassin. Sundance knows because she and Celestia are best of friends. Good luck with Bloodmane tonight. I shall give you my prayers." He said while bowing. I have never had someone as tall as an alicorn bow down to me.
"Thank you Dream. Rarity is dressing Kay for the Photo show."
"Your dating Kay?"
"Yes."
"How do you get a beautiful mare to fall for you like her?"
"We're childhood friends. Been through hell with each other you know?"
"Yeah I hear you. Treat her right Shafer." He said going inside. He had better not be checking out my girl or I will punch him in the fucking... (needs to think of a word.) Soul!
"Hey Dustin!" I head over my shoulder. I turned to see Forest.
"Hey Forest! Where's the woman?"
"I asked her to go to the market to keep her busy. I'm going into town to buy an engagement ring. I just thought how since we have a kid and everything..."
"That's awesome! Let's go!" I grabbed his hoof and pulled him into the Jewelry shops. We saw many off them.
"This one?" He looked at the bronze bracelet with a purple orb.
"No."
"How about this one?" He pointed to the silver one with the blue orb.
"Excuse me Miss." I said to the cashier. "Do you make these yourself?"
"I do. Is their something wrong?"
"No these are great! They are beautiful. Do you do custom one's?"
"I do for nice men like yourselves." I looked at Forest who had no idea to get her. The cashier handed me a menu off everything she does.
"I want this to be... Gold with an emerald orb. Can you put a pink butterfly behind it?"
"That's my specialty."
"Great! I want this to say nature lover." When Forest looked away I whispered to her. "My friend want's to marry Fluttershy."
"I have just the idea. It'll cost ya though!"
"How much?"
"700 bits. With tax comes to 725." She said.
"That's a great price! You are the best beautiful ma'am. I shall come here for all my friends marriage needs."
"I appreciate it!" She left the stand and went to a smithing forge outside. It's going to take a while. We waited about 42 minutes then she came up to us saying 'Done!'
It was a golden bracelet with the green orb and butterfly. There were nature vines with leaves going around the edge of it and it had little birds and rabbits on the inside. Their were two of the bracelets for each of them. By that I mean Forest and Fluttershy.
"She's going to love it!" squealed Forest.
"She is dude. Now don't be afraid." I told him.
"But I-I'm..."
"Shh shh shh. I have your back." I made him wait in the park. I left and got Fluttershy. When I flew her here (yeah she was nervous about going with me.) She saw Forest and her mood quickly brightened.
"Sorry Shy." I said placing her on the ground.
"It's okay Dustin. If you told me why you brought me here then I would have been more than wiling."
"Your going to find out right now." She turned to Forest who was watching the trees.
"Beautiful aren't they?" he asked.
"Yes. I'm glad you wanted to see the plants with me." she said.
"It's more than that. Fluttershy we have been together for two years now. The best two years of my life. We have a beautiful son. Your beautiful... Jeez how many times have I said that now?"
"Your going to break up with me!" She asked panicking.
"No never. Actually it's the exact opposite." He tapped his hoof on the ground making a tree vine lower.
"Fluttershy... Will you marry me?" He said getting on one knee. She was wordless. Not a word could express how much joy was on her face.
"Yes!" she screamed with tears running down her cheeks. This was probably the only time you would ever want to see her cry. I'm serious. If you make her cry tears of sorrow then I shall destroy you! If not me then she'll get her animals to /PARENTERAL WARNING KIDS SHOULD NOT BE HEARING HOW GRAPHIC THIS MAN IS/ and then she'll skull fuck you. Yeah You heard me! Skull fucking! No I'm kidding. That's more of a Pinkie Pie thing. The skull fucking not the part with the animals.
"You will!" said Forest accepting her hug and tender loving kiss. It was a sight. Everyone cheered when he put the amazing bracelet on her hoof. It was great. I knew they would want some alone time so I buggered off.
Let's see here. Static and Twilight are married. Blaze and Rainbow are about to. I'm about to with Kay. I'm pretty sure Sky and Pinkie have been married. They both have Platinum bracelets. Yeah he afforded Platinum! Like a BAAWS. I know that Dream isn't the kind of guy to just fuck you and leave so that solves the Rarity issue. Who's left... APPLEJACK! *gasp* Oh no! Fuck! I forgot her!
I took off flying back to Ponyville and found Sweet Apple Acres. When I landed It took about 2 seconds for AJ to find me.
"Dustin! You're back!" She said enjoying the hug.
"*Big Cough* Yeah. This time I'm here to stay." She got off me and pulled me up.
"Well welcome home pardner. Watcha here for?"
"I wanted to visit. See how you've been over the years."
"I've been quite good my friend. This farm has been in great luck over the past 2 years now."
"Really?"
"Business is stormin' like wild fire. Profit's good. And I hear that you asked out the pretty little Redhead." Kay is awesome! Watch you talking about Willis? She's not a ginger if your wondering. She's not a red head that looks orange I mean she has deep red hair and green eyes. And only a few freckles. It's hot! If you think she's a ginger then your wrong. She's pretty tan and has a beautiful soul. Jeez I fell like I've heard Beautiful too many times today.
"Excuse me for askin' but your eyebrow is a twitchin."
"That happens." I said. "It was great seeing you AJ." I said.
"Great seein' you too pardner. You come back now ya hear!" she said waving her hat while I flew away. AJ has freckles. I just now noticed that. So does Big Mac. Guess that's the sign of a hardworking person. I wanted to see Kay in the photo show but the bouncer wouldn't let me in.
"Excuse me sir. Can I get through?"
"Your not fashionable." He said.
"What?"
"You don't have a taste of fashion do you?"
"I need to see my wife man." I told him. He looked at my fancy golden bracelet and though about it for a moment.
"Your the stallion who asked out that hot piece of ass in their?"
"Don't flatter her."
"Kay is the best display of fashion they've had for years. Since Fluttershy but she'll never come back." I remember that episode. Hahaha.... Spike has a crush on Rarity... Oh god Spike! Forgot about him too!
"How does someone like you get to be with someone as pretty as her?" He was drooling about her. Ew...
"We've been childhood friends. One day I asked her out and she said yes."
"That's great. So If I find my best friend from my filly days and ask her out will she accept me?"
"It depends dude. You have to be sweet to her. For example Kay loves sweets. You can't be rude like you were just a few minutes ago."
"Yeah sorry about that." He let me in. "Thanks for the advice." He took off for town. I didn't really look at him. He was just this big white pony that was probably a steroid addict. I went in looking around.
"Kay! Oof... Excuse me. Kay?" I made my way through all the ponies. Where is she? I found a door that said back stage. "Aha!"
"Dustin?" she asked looking at me.
"Found you! I did something great today!"
"Oh really? What?"
"I helped Forest ask Fluttershy to marry him." I said a little bit with attitude.
"Great! And to think I'm going to be with you one day..." She was dreaming into the stars again. It was actually pretty cute.
"Kay! 2 minutes!" said Rarity walking in. "Let's get this show started." She said. I just now noticed the dress. It was long with brown and green colors in this really frilly fashion. Looked great on her! Can't help but stare now that I think about it. She does have a big flank.
"Stop staring!" she said walking into the next room.
"Sorry!" I said turning around to leave.
"Thanks for checking in on me!" she said.
"You betcha!" I left. Today has been good. Now I have to get settled and fight. This is not going to be easy tonight.
6 hours later
I was in a blimp with some other ponies. It was now dusk. The only other ponies here were Dawn, Luna, and some off her guards. Also the Chief police commissioner. In case your wandering his name is Gordon Hooffield. Yes, I'm his batman. He has too look after me. He also promised me a nice cup o' joe later.
"We're nearing the drop zone!" yelled Dawn. "Dustin I need you in their and ready to get started!"
"What are the orders?" I yelled pulling my mask down over my face. He handed me my goggles and gave me a pat on the shoulder.
"Sneak in and talk some sense into Bloodmane like we planned. Be careful. We heard rumors that Singing Blade is here and he's probably not to happy to see you." I equipped my scythes. Man I love these things.
"Alright! Wish me luck!"
"Sun speed!" he said as I ran for the edge of the blimp. When I got their I jumped with out thinking twice and nosedived to build up speed. When I got far enough Dawn contacted me.
"Alright take off." I spread my wings and began to fly at Rainbow speed. I didn't leave any signs though and unlike and other pegasus or griffon I didn't make a sound.
"Dawn. I'm in." I whispered when I was over the gate.
"Great. Air traffic is low. Most griffons sleep during the night."
"Alright then." I landed near the bottom of the tower. "Do I climb or fly?"
"Climb. You can hear through the walls can't you?" I cut on my night vision goggles and used my scythes to slowly climb up. When I got to the top floor I went in the window.
"I'm in." I told Dawn.
"Now get to the throne room." I made my way through the halls like before and got the the throne room. I opened the doors and the only person inside was the Prince himself.
"Ah! Shadow! Just the man I was thinking of."
"I came to talk to you Bloodmane." I said through my mask.
"About what?"
"Your plans for domination. Please don't do this. We can all live happily together. I see griffons and ponies together a lot. Either as friends or lovers. We are so similar."
"We are so different! Why can't you ponies understand that!"
"We do! That's why we don't want to fight."
"I see. Wise words from a wise man. How did something so good turn so bad?"
"Your plan for unification was good. Killing however is never good."
"I see. You're right Shadow. Why was I so blind?"
"Power does that. You don't control it. You feed the troll."
"What does that mean?"
"Your aging it on and should expect worst to come." I told him. He looked around for a moment.
"Now I see why Celestia trust you. You fight. You even come in here armed and ready to kill yet you show mercy. I wish to learn from this. I shall not take over this beautiful land yet, I shall join Celestia. I won't do anything else to harm you." he said.
"I then thank you. I will love to remove my mask and meet you face to face but I'm afraid we have a guest." I looked at the door.
"How long have you been there?" asked Bloodmane. Singing Blade walked in the door and had the aura to kill around him.
"I have been here for a while. We meet again Shadow."
"Blade... What do you expect to gain from this?"
"You are the first person I have ever lost to and I shall honor my families code. Kill you or die trying."
"Then quit this before you die." I told him.
"Bold words from the man who hides in the shadows." He's trying to make me lose my cool. If only their was a way around him then I could escape. He charged at me again but I did a few back flips and I twisted around giving him a hard double bucking. I learned this from watching Applejack.
"Ow!" he staggered back and fell down. I jumped over him to escape but he used his teeth to grab my tail and throw me back to the Prince.
"Trying to escape huh? Coward!" He stomped with every step he took towards us.
"Get back Prince." I pulled my scythes down and combined them making the Reaper Halberd as I dubbed it.
"Ooh... Baby's got a new toy." said Blade eying my weapon. "When I kill you. I think I'll keep it." He drew his swords and took his stance. I lifted my goggles and gave him my 'Dead Serious' stare which also gave off mixed feelings of 'I will kill you!'.
"You have the eyes of a wolf ready to kill." He said staring at me with those cold dead eyes. "I shall take them from you as well." He charged me and brought down both his swords aiming for my shoulders. I held up my halberd quickly and block him off.
"What?" was all he said before I twisted it throwing his weapons across the room and then I turned it giving him a large slice across the chest. He fell down coughing hard. I didn't mean to but I pierce what felt like his lung. "Bastard!" he said with his blood stained teeth.
"Stand down." I said kicking the swords away from him. "Your in no condition to move."
"Next time! Next time I shall kill you!"
"Come after me one more time and I'll kill you. You okay prince?"
"I'm fine my good man. You have shown me the errors of my ways, saved my life, and even showed mercy upon this revenge thirsty fool. You have my support and the support of all griffons for Celestia and Luna."
"Thank you." I said. I put Singing Blade on his side and cleaned the wound on his chest.
"Why?" he said coughing some more blood.
"Because you made me pierce a lung. I know good ponies who can fix this. WATCHER I need you to send him to the hospital to be treated and then the Dungeon for interrogation."
"Hahaha... You offer kindness in one hoof and arm the other. Wise." He said while passing out.
"He's out cold Bloodmane." I closed the door. "Celestia wants to speak with you." I handed him a walkie-talkie. I also watched as Blade was teleported away.
"Hello?"
"Hello Bloodmane! I want to thank you for stopping your evil ways and helping us keep total peace."
"I wouldn't have if it wasn't for your brave soldier here. When can I meet the man who saved my life?"
"Right now." I took off the mask.
"Shafer?"
"It's Dustin, your highness."
"Your the human from before?"
"Yes."
"Now I see why you want peace. You shall have it." He offered a hug of course which I accepted it!
"This makes us 'Bro's'' I told him.
"You betcha! Meet you tomaro?"
"At the castle. And we read the documents. Don't kill Celestia." I told him and he stopped hugging me.
"Of course I'm not killing her! Who could kill a flank like that?" He said looking at the stars.
"AAAWWWWW YYYEEEAAAAAHHHH!" I said knowing what he was thinking. He put the mask back on my head and handed me my goggles. I put them on and picked up the halberd which I disconnected it and placed the scythes to my side.
"Guards. Allow Shadow here to leave!" He yelled on the intercom. Then the doors opened and some of his guards escorted me out of the castle. When I got to the exit everyone cheered. I saw some griffons hugging ponies not in private but in public. I just spared this world of a genocide. I flew away and made my way back home. That's one bird down yet one still 'sings.'
The last chapter I wrote was the first time I made it to 3,000 words! That is a new record for me personally! Didn't know I had it in me.~ Static
I began my flight to the blimp to recover and talk about what just happened.
"Nice one Dustin!" said Dawn.
"Excellent job SHADOW." said Luna. You know you did good when the princess admits it.
"Thank you." I landed. "What's the word on Blade?"
"Some of the nurses are having trouble cleaning the inside of his lung. It's filled with blood. Amazing how he lived through that." said Dawn.
"I didn't mean to. I was just in the zone."
"Well keep it up. No one is going to mess this assassin." Luna said.
"Hey Dawn!" I asked him. "Do you have a special somepony?"
"Odd how you ask that... I don't. Please don't brag about something like that with Kay."
"I'm not. You don't have anybody to go home to?"
"Not a single pony."
"Aw... man. Let's find someone."
"Look Dustin." he took off my mask. "I know your good at playing match maker but you can't possibly find anypony that I would like."
"What's your type?" I asked him. Luna was paying attention. She didn't have anyone since I caused the whole fucking Time Paradox last time I was here a few years ago.
"She's brave." Alright.
"She's hardworking." I know some ponies like that.
"And she has to be honest!" You have to be kidding! I know the perfect pony!
"Hey Dawn. Do you like apples?"
Later at SAA
"Well howdy again their pardner." said the house welcoming Applejack.
"Hay AJ. Can I ask you something?"
"What is it sugarcube?"
"Can you show my friend." I pulled Dawn from behind a tree. "Dawn here a good time? I'm afraid he doesn't have a date and needs some company." I told her.
"Well this is strange but sure thing. Nice to meet ya Dawn." She said offering a hoof.
"So your Applejack? Your more beautiful than Dustin said!" He said accepting the hoof shake?
"Well shucks. You goning an embarrassin me like that is a good way to pick somepony up." Good job Dustin! I'll just leave these two as they date.
As I flew I noticed that it was pretty late. And by that I mean it's 5 in the fucking morning! Kay's going to kill me! I'll just sneak in the window and Shit I forgot to take my suit off! How come Applejack didn't say anything about this? I'll just go to the castle.
"Hello Mr. Shafer." said Celestia as I flew into the armory.
"Hello there Princess."
"Luna told me everything. Thanks for taking care of Dawn. He just hides behind his desk all day long and is too focused on work too enjoy himself."
"Oh no prob! Bloodmane wants to get close to you Tia."
"I'm sure he does. If we want this whole land to be peaceful then we must combine our towns and let the citizens-"
"No Celestia. I mean close close. As in... he wants to... 'plow' you."
"Oh my! It's been so long since I've dated anybody."
"Was Discord the last?"
"How did you know?"
"Uh..." Does she not remember the paradox either? "It's just instinct. I see how you look at the statue outside."
"Yes he was nice until he went mad with power."
"Right..." Yikes. Just avoided a death sentence right their. Oh well speaking of dates I need to really get home.
"Look Tia." I changed back into my normal brown coat. "I'm really tired and need to head home. Kay's probably worried sick."
"I understand. I'll see you in a few hours."
"Yes. Bye." I took off. I still haven't visited Spike yet... I'll ask Twilight. She'll know what happened! Anyways I made it home and opened my window. I tip toed in. Nice... and carefully...
"Ahem. Where have you been." The lights flicked on and every pony was in the room. Even the ones who didn't live here. Even Dawn and Applejack! What the fuck? How did they get here so fast?
"Uh..." Dawn winked at me. We came up with some good excuses earlier. "You see I help Dawn here get on a date with Applejack because he was SO into work that I took his place for a few hours."
"That's right." he said backing me up. God bless you!
"It's true. And he was a great date tonight." said Applejack backing him up. God bless you too!
"Alright. I'll believe you." said Kay. Oh thank you God! I'm so glad I went to church every Sunday when I was human! And on my own free will! Thank you!
"Yes. I also had to help Luna with a few problems. Night court isn't as easy as you think." I said. Then the whole Spike thing popped into my head again. Better ask Twilight now before I forget.
"Hey Twilight?"
"Yes?"
"Where is Spike?" The whole room went quiet. Uh oh. Guess I struck a nerve.
"He got bigger and meaner. He left to be with the other dragons." She said wiping away a tear.
"Oh no... I'm sorry Twilight. I just haven't talked to the little guy in so long. Remember it's been 5 years for me. 2 for you."
"Actually it was last year but your right." she said. "You want to see him?"
"I do."
"Tomaro we leave. Okay?"
"Alright." Now that I think about it. I caused two time paradoxes. First when I killed the zombies and Spike was dating Twilight. Then when I killed the guards. Static was with Twilight again. What the fuck!
We all went to sleep but I had troubles. Spike grew up to be an asshole? Singing Blade is still alive and he's hunting me down. I don't know what to do next. I promised myself that I wouldn't kill this time. But that's all I'm good at! I need help.
"Un mhm." said Kay who mumbled in her sleep. She was having some issues as well. She opened her eyes and wiped away her drool.
"Oh yuck..." She looked at me. "You having troubles sleeping baby?"
"Yeah I just-" we both heard this clicking noise. Outside the window was a photographer. Kay was furious and kicked the window knocking him off.
"What gives! You guys watch me when I'm sleeping now!"
"Your a hit! Give us some more pictures." This is my time to shine.
"Stand down paparazzo. I am the Personal Royal Guard. I have the second most authority around here and I order you to stop taking pictures of my girl here. If you don't I will put you in the Dungeon for life."
"You can't do that!"
"Try me..." I gave him my 'dead serious' stare. All he did was shake like a leaf and run away. Then every other pony hiding in the bushes ran away.
"Oh my hero!" She said pulling me in for a kiss. I closed the window and curtains and lifted her on the bed.
"I think your hero deserves a reward."
"The hero doesn't ask for rewards."
"Then make this a favor." We kissed and let our hormones take over for the night.
4 hours later
We both finally woke up. We were felling great. Too bad we left a mess.
"Best night in a long time." she told me.
"You can say that so many times and I will agree." It was true. The last week as been a rushing nightmare. We walked downstairs only to be cut off by Twilight and Static packing up some saddlebags.
"You two ready to go?" she asked.
"You bet!" I put on the grey bag she handed me and Kay got a green one. We all walked outside and not a single pony was out there.
"Where is everyone?" I asked.
"It's still pretty early." said Static. Oh well. We all went to the back roads of Canterlot and began our walk. Except me. I was the only one with wings. So I flapped! That sounds dangerously close to fapped. Flap flap flap. Fap fap fap. I see what I did their. Wing Boner! That's what I got from looking at Kay all day so I decided to fly and control it.
We'll after a 29 minute hike we made it to the top of a mountain with a cave entrance. We all walked in and saw a dragon community.
"Ah! If it isn't little Twilight Sparkle." said a teen cracking voice behind us. We all turned and saw the big purple dragon.
"Spyro?... I mean fuck... Spike?" I asked.
"I don't know you. How's it hanging Twi?"
"It's going good Spike. How have you been?"
"It's great! I'm having so much more fun here than I did with you." Ouch. That burns. Twilight had tears in her eyes.
"Hey fuck off!" both Static and I said in unison.
"Why don't you make me?" Spike asked. I grabbed his claw and flipped him onto his stomach where I got on his back and held him down.
"Now tell her your sorry!" I said angrily in his ear.
"Ow! Ow! Okay. I'm sorry!" I got off.
"Jeez who are you?"
"I am just a friend." I told him. He might remember me when I was last here and I don't want that. Kay was quiet the entire time. When he saw her he had that greedy look in his eyes.
"Oh hello!" He got behind her and started stroking her face. "What's a pretty little thing like you doing with these losers." She grabbed his claw, twisted it around and threw him against the wall. She was stronger than me! Girl power my ass that was scary!
"Don't call my friends losers." Spike hissed at us all and left.
"Jeez what a jerk. Hasn't changed at all." said Static. "Where did you learn to fight like that Dustin?"
"Just picked it up Static. Like I said we did a lot for the past 5 years. Kay here is a double black belt in many forms of Karate."
"It's true."
"I hate seeing you cry Twilight." She had her ears down and tears stormed down her eyes. Guess something really bad happened. Best not bring it up. We left the cave and stopped for a picnic. Kay and I ate while Static comforted Twilight.
"Hey. Hey." I tried to get her attention. "Eat something. You need to keep your strength up." I said trying to sound mature.
"Shut up Dustin. We shouldn't have come here." She said with tears reforming.
"Yeah sorr-"
"SHUT UP!" she said and teleported. Static was startled but left after her. Kay and I looked at each other and remained quiet. All I could hear was my heart beat. Heavily. Like in some way this was my fault. I know it wasn't but I would rather her blame me for something bad. That's all I ever do. Cause trouble.
"I'll see you later." Kay said quietly and her horn glowed. She teleported to god knows where leaving me by myself to rest in my sorrow.
"Yeah... See ya..." What did he do to her? Twilight never yelled at me. She never yells unless it's really bad. Damn. I just finished my food and stared off at the sunrise. Kay didn't want to see me either. She could probably hear my heart beat it was so loud. I just think I shouldn't talk to Twilight for a while. I need to get to work so I pulled a head set from my coat pocket. I packed up everything and talked into it.
"Dawn. Bring me to base."
"Alright." I was teleported into his office. Actually make it our office. During the day I sit behind a desk and work and you know what I do at night. I sat down and began to read the patrol reports. Dawn might know something.
"Dustin you okay? Your eyebrow is twitching."
"I'm thinking really hard about something. Dawn what happened to Spike?"
"Oh man the Sharp Spike incident. Worst thing to ever happen here."
"What happened?" You know it's bad if your name is in the title.
"Dude it was worse than what you did. He got bigger and angrier as we all know. Here's what else he did. A. He stole a large amount of money from the bank. B. He traumatized over 59 kids. C. and here's the worse. He raped Twilight." What?!
"Oh my god..." I put my head in my hooves. No wonder he treated her badly. He was exiled for a reason. He raped her? Sweet little Spikey-Wikey is a monster? What was I thinking... Poor Twilight. No wonder she's mad at me. It was my idea to see him and she didn't want to. God DAMMIT! I punched the desk.
"What's wrong man?" He asked me.
"Earlier I visited him. Twilight was with me and after a little fight he ran off and she cried and all. I didn't know why but she yelled at me. Her voice pierce my soul. It was just... guilt. Now I know why."
"Sorry to hear that. She'll forgive you. But..."
"But it's best if I give her a few days to calm down."
"Thanks for setting me up with Applejack. Best date I've had since I was a kid."
"Kid? You look so young... How old are you?"
"I'm only 25. You?"
"Almost 30."
"Damn. You look great for 29." Silver Sage didn't think so.
"You still look like a teen."
"It's because of my 'Perfect Skin'."
"Alright then." I went back to reading. Not much happened after that. Then a guard came in.
"Sirs. Singing Blade has regained consciousness and is in the Dungeon as you requested."
"At ease. Good job man." I told him. "Take a break. You've earned it." I feel so angry. Because of the whole Spike thing I may take it out on Blade. Dawn and I got dressed and went down their.
"So Celestia's boy toys walk in wanting information." he said while chained to a table. I gave him a hard punch across the face. "OW!"
"Shut up Blade. Your in no condition to talk. Our friend Shadow told us what happened. We don't take too kindly to people who hunt us down." I grabbed a hacksaw. "Do you want to know why it's called a hacksaw?" That's right! I'm going all cupcakes on this fucker!
"You don't scare me!" he said. Oh really? I flipped the table over and was about to cut his wings off till he talked. "Okay! I'll talk!" good call. I flipped him back over and waited for his answer.
"I just want revenge on this Shadow. He's embarrassed me twice and it's my family's honor to kill him. I can do anything to get close to him."
"Anything?"
"Give me his name and I'll spare you." he said. Did he threaten me? He tried to wiggle out of the table so I flipped it back over and place the hacksaw on his wings.
"One more move Blade and you get...(puts on shades) Grounded!" YYYYEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
"I dare you."
"Okay." Dawn turned his head. He's a rather nice pony. Too nice for this business. I began to carve my way through his wing. His screams pierced the air like a bullet. It was something alright. So much pain was in it! I hope so since I'm CARVING my WAY through his WING! ERG! (rip/ blood splatter noises.) There we go.
"You Bastard! I'll kill you when this is done!"
"You dared me. You can't kill me Blade because I am justified." Oh snap! Killing me will disgrace your honor fucker!
"Fuck you!" Oh he's got a mouth on him. How I would love to cut out his tongue. "I'll tell you anything you want!"
"Alright. Let's begin with why did you become an assassin?"
"Because I love blood! I need it! I crave it!" Alright he's a psycho. He makes me look sane.
"Alright then. Who am I?"
"Your Dustin Shafer. Ex-human. Celestia's personal guard. Best fighter..." He just realized who I am. "Your Shadow! Now I know whose family to kill when I get out!" He broke the chain on his left forearm so I rammed the hacksaw into his gut.
"Sorry Blade. Can't let you hurt my friends or family anymore now can I?" I began to pull back and forth with the saw down his stomach until his guts riddled the floor. It was disgusting. This is probably the only time I have ever enjoyed it though. "Now it's over. Singing Blade it looks like your contract was payed (puts on shades.) in blood." He died right there. Against a dirty wall where countless others have died and by my hands. I was a guilty as him now.
"No one's going to mess this sack of shit." Dawn said. "Let's go." He and I left and took off our rain coats. We knew it was going to end bloody. We disposed of it and went back to our desk. I pulled out one of my 5 remaining cigarette and smoked. It got rid of that bad taste in my mouth.
"Nothing's better than a smoke to help remind you your alive." I told Dawn.
"I guess. They only sell those in the higher class markets." He said.
"No these are my last smokes. I'll save one for the day I die." I told him. Celestia walked in and took her seat on the wall. The door closed and we talked.
"Tell me why did you kill him Dustin."
"He was a freak who deserved it."
"Tell me really why."
"Too protect my friends and family."
"Yes! Even against death you place yourself to fight for a better cause. That's what I admire about you Dustin. You can't make the hardest choice but you make the best ones."
"Thank you princess but now I'm as guilty as him. I've got blood on my hooves."
"No. This isn't your fault Dustin. You gave him many chances to stand down. And Dawn I must thank you as well for being a great friend to Dustin."
"Yes, your highness." She stood up for the door.
"Take care of Applejack, Watcher Dawn."
"Yes ma'am!"
"Dismissed." she said relieving us of duty for the day. I went to the front desk and was payed by a secretary.
"Have a good day Mr. Shafer!"
"You too!" strangely enough I do feel better. Like all my hate has left. I just need to talk to Twilight and tell her I'm sorry and I'll feel better. Can't believe Spike still did that though. Oh well... I got about 7,000 bucks today so that's something. I saw Dawn teleport and a familiar orange light appear far away at the Apple farm. Guess I know what he's doing. I walked home. I didn't feel like flying. I just needed to walk.
"Hey Dustin!" yelled Static as he ran up to me.
"What's up?"
"It's Twilight. She's still crying but wants to say she's sorry for yelling. She knows it would affect your day."
"It's true. I feel like shit. I just found out what happened at work. Why didn't you tell me she was raped!"
"I didn't want to worry you."
"I understand Static but we could have avoided this day."
"It was her choice. Spike could have changed but he didn't."
"No he didn't. Twilight doesn't need to apologize though. I should. I'm heading their now. Is she home?"
"Yes. Thanks for understanding."
"No prob." He went back to delivering his packages. Guess my day seems brightened. I made my way home and got to the door. I felt like opening the door was an roadblock in my path. But... I just opened it.
"Dustin!" said the sobbing unicorn.
"Shh shh shh. Don't say it Twilight. I wanted to say I am sorry first."
"But I-"
"You didn't know I didn't knew about what happened. I know. I read the report. I am so sorry for making you go."
"It's okay. I just wished he would have changed."
"If I tell you a secret will you feel better?" She had that look in her eyes but still she was a little sad.
"What kind of *small sniff* secret?"
"I am SHADOW." I told her.
"What?"
"I'm the spy. Think about it. I'm the personal guard and why I keep coming in late."
"Your the spy that saved me!"
"Yes but listen... Don't tell anypony. Especially not Kay."
"Alright then." That's all I'm going to tell her. I don't want to say anything about killing Blade do I?
"Do you feel better?"
"Yes. You helped us at the cave."
"Now I know why he was all touchy-feely with Kay. But yeah I helped you." She stopped crying and gave me a hug. "So we're cool?"
"We're cool Dustin." Oh great! I feel a lot better actually!
"Alright! Glad to hear it. Come on... let's clean you up." I grabbed a tissue. "You don't want people to see you like this do you?"
"No. Your right!" She went to the bathroom. I sat on the couch and sighed. I need Kay right now. We're planning on having the wedding in 2 weeks and she doesn't want me to see her that much in case she's in her wedding dress. That's bad luck.
"Thanks for helping me out Shadow." Twilight said walking out of the bathroom.
"Hey! Shh! What if someone here's that."
"Who would?"
"Singing Blade."
"Oh right! I'm so sorry!" She quickly stopped talking and got back on her spot on the couch. I used my wing to grab a book.
"The art of organizing?! WHO THE FUCK WRITES A STORY ABOUT THIS!" She jumped as my voice scared the shit out of her.
I moaned as I waited outside and let my body cook in the sun.
"ERG! Where is Kay?! Gawd!"
"What's wrong their champ." said a familiar voice. I looked up to see Sky.
"Oh I'm just waiting on Kay to get here."
"She's at the fashion thing!"
"Oh god dammit!" Who knows how long that's going to take. "I need to go undercover. I'm worried about her."
"You think she's jerking off people backstage?" Sky asked. I just stared at him. "What?"
"That's exactly what I'm worried about!" I ran inside.
"Twilight help me!"
"With what?"
"I need to get undercover at the fashion show."
"I have a potion that might help." She showed me this potion which switched from blue to pink. Oh well if it helps right?
"How do you feel?" was what Twilight asked after I drank it. I feel... smaller. What did she do to me?
"I feel fine." My voice sounds different! It sounds womanly! What did she do to me!
"It worked!" she said. What worked. What the fuck did you do to me bitch! I looked in a mirror to see I was more curvy and feminine. I took of my coat and turned around. Guess what was gone...
"Oh boy." I said. This is going to suck I just fucking know it! Why Twilight? I thought we were even!
"I've always wanted to know what happens." said Twilight.
"This isn't funny!" My new voice is uncomfortable. It turns me on! That's the fucked up part.
"You have THE cutest blush ever Dustin." I covered my face.
"Stop! Let's just get this done with. When does it ware off?"
"It says... 3 weeks?!"
"Are you shitting me!" I am going to choke a bitch in a second. Wait... Now I can go undercover. This just might work. "Oh well. Now we can get in. Who knows I might enjoy this." I started stretching when Sky came in. He just looked at me in my bent position without any clothes on.
"That ass..." He said looking away and trying to block his wing boner. Hahahaha! I can now control the weak minded with my body! Hahahaha! Oh... I'm a slut...
Twilight teleported me and her to Rarity's. We went inside to find her and talk about how I don't trust Kay at the shows by herself anymore but no one was home.
"What do we do Twilight?"
"We go to the show!" she said teleporting us to the show. We waited outside in the line but the bouncer saw us.
"We'll you two pretty ladies go right on in." Aw...
"Thank you." We said and cut in line. We got in their and went to the back where Rarity and Kay were having a serious talk. In the door across from us Photo Shoot came in.
"I need you ready my young actors for the- gah what?" She stopped and just stared at me. "Honey you must be her for the fashion." Kay and Rarity gave me an angry look. They obviously didn't recognize me.
"No I'm not here for your fashion. They are though." They both sighed and looked happy.
"Don't say that! You art going to be a star!"
"I art? That doesn't make any sense."
"Stop whining."
"I'm not whining. This is whining. OH Why did I have to go to work today or Why did Twilight honestly believe I could be a fashion star!"
"You have the spunky attitude and potential to be the biggest star in history!"
"You don't understand! Why are you an idiot!" I was still in the whining stage.
"You art perfect!"
"You did it again! I'm not art!" She dragged me away to another room. Kay and Rarity both stared at what just happened.
"You have a great body!" She said bending over on the table. "Rarity get in here and use this actor instead!"
"No no... I don't want to be an actor!" I yelled. Rarity came in and put Kay on the table beside me and went between us working like crazy.
"Rarity stop! I'm not here for acting I'm here to watch!"
"Don't be ridiculous darling!"
"It will be fine." Said Kay. "You might just like it."
"Listen to me! Do I not remind you of anyone?"
"No. Why? Are you hitting on me? How dare you!" What is she talking about! Where's the fucking mirror? Oh... in front of me. I had black hair and long eyelashes. My entire body was built for fashion. I don't want this! All I wanted was to meet with Kay and maybe eat some Ice cream is that too much to ask?!
1 hour later
That does it! I am wearing a frilly foo foo dress that totally shows off my body! I may be a guy but I have boundaries! Too much! I am so going to fuck up this show for her.
"First we have Rarity's creations." Kay walked up and got on stage. I waited back for my signal.
"Now go out their and win!"
"Don't tell me what to do!" I barked back at her order. Kay walked back and winked at me. So I went up. I noticed their was a pole in the middle that the actors use to stand on the side of for a pose. Well I'm going to change it. I walked out their and moved my body with the beat. When I got the the end I stroke a pose and prepared myself.
"Check me out boys!" I yelled climbing on the pole from upside down. They all gasped as I did every thing I could think off. I stroke it and slid down it. When I got to the bottom I didn't mean too... but I stroke a sexy pose. They all cheered! They liked it?! No! NO! NNNOOOOO!!! I walked back.
"That was genius!" said Rarity.
"NO it wasn't! I don't want to be here! I want them to hate me!"
"But why?"
"So I can go home!" I was about to cry. "This is a waste of my first day off in a while!" She was about to cry.
"Kay do you seriously not recognize your husband to be?"
"Dustin?"
"Yes! I ended up drinking a potion and now I'm a mare! I just showed off in front of the entire town!"
"When did you learn to pole dance?" I blushed.
"Shut up!" Rarity was laughing at me. "What is it?"
"You have THE cutest blush." Better hide my head now so I just buried my face in a pillow. How many pictures did they take off me? I swear I saw Princess Molestia in their. She wasn't Celestia because she was all grey and licking her lips and everything! I just had an idea...
"Come back!" said Photo Shoot as I flew out the window leaving my dress falling in the air. I'm free! I looked down to see everyone cheering for more of Rarity's work. Well I failed my original mission but I can say this... "Suck it Bitch!" I yelled to everyone and took off for the castle. Inside I saw Celestia (Thank god it wasn't Molestia. I'm just hallucinating.) and Dawn.
"Who are you?" asked Dawn.
"Dawn, it's me. Dustin."
"Your a chick! Hahaha!"
"Dude shut up!"
"What happened 'Ms.' Shafer." asked Celestia.
"I drank one of Twilight's stupid fucking potions. That's all I'm telling you." They both let all of their laughter out. It was funny for a good while.
"Yes I'm a mare for about 3 weeks said Twilight." Dawn lost it at this point. "Didn't think it could be so funny." I told him.
"Whatever. Go change we have work to do." I went into the armory and started the change. I could feel their watch. I walked over and closed the curtains.
"Assholes." When I was done I walked out only for him to whistle.
"Damn you look sexy in skin tight black suits." I whipped his face with my tail pretty hard. Hard enough to shut him up. Celestia accepted that I was going to be a girl for 3 weeks.
"Alright Shadow." said Celestia. "I need you to check in on the Dragons to the east." We were their this morning. No. Wait. We only went into a cave and left. Never mind. Point withdrawn.
"Alright. Any particular dragon or is it a certain goal?"
"We have received word that their are a few trouble causing dragons running amok." I had better be careful. I gave Spike my hardest kick and it didn't do much damage. Damn you scales!
"Okay. I'm on it." I flew towards the Dragon Kingdom. I wanted to fly above but that risks me being assaulted by any air born dragon. I'll just take that cave from this morning.
"Dawn. I found a cave." I cut on my thermal vision hoping to mark my targets but I didn't see anyone so I just cut on my night vision. I made my way in slowly and quietly hoping not to alert anyone. When I made it to the bottom I found a bunch of dragons sleeping.
"What the hell... I didn't see them on the thermal."
"Dustin. Dragons are cold-blooded."
"Right. Sorry."
"Find the troublesome kids."
"Kids?"
"The report says their is a few teens going in and out causing nothing but chaos."
"I only see the adults. Wait I heard something." I got against the wall and watched as a group of teens came in holding torches. They were laughing and having a good time. I also saw Spike. He had wings? That's new.
"So you saw Twilight this morning?" asked the leader of the group.
"Yeah she came here. Probably asking for an apology or something." Dammit I made her look like the problem.
"And this new pony kicked your ass?"
"Yeah. I've never seen someone fight like him before. Then when I put my arm on his pretty date she beat me too."
"You got beat by a girl?! Hahaha!" It was pretty funny. Then they headed for the hall beside the wall I was hiding in. I turned my head to be completely flat. Spike got mad and threw a punch which Red leader here ducked and he hit me in the gut.
"Huh. The wall is softer than I thought." Ow! Owie ow ow! Your not suppose to hit a girl meanie! >:'(
"It just means your getting tough Spike." said the leader. He was definitely impressed.
"Guess so." They walked off leaving only the adults to sleep and me to hold my gut.
"SHADOW come in!"
"What do you want WATCHER."
"Stop those kids. We have an order."
"Those kids are teens and they just gave me a good sucker punch without knowing it."
"Suck it up. Don't be a woman!"
"But I am!"
"Right... Sorry about that. Get back to work." So I ran to the kids. When I ran up to them one of them saw me and tripped me with his tail.
"Well... It looks like a little girl tried to stop us." said the leader who positioned himself on top of me.
"You guys have been causing trouble. I'm here to tell you what wrongs you have done."
"We know what we did." He gave me a punch in the head. "That's why were doing it. Because it's fun."
"Your not suppose to hit girls." He grabbed my mask and pulled it off along with my goggles and threw it across the room.
"Well... your a pretty pony." He said picking me up and slamming me in the wall. "Why do you have to wear that suit?" I gave him a kick in the face sending him far back and then Spike cut me across my right cheek. It was pretty deep.
"That's going to scar your pretty little face." He said grabbing the lower half of my suit and ripped it off me. "But this is going to feel so much better."
"No you don't!" I kicked him off and rushed between him and his friends fighting them all. I was putting up a good fight till on of them knocked me in the back of the head with a stalagmite. Assfuck! When I went down the red one got in front of me and tried to get his dick in my mouth.
"You have a pretty mouth. Do me a favor will you ya slut?"
"You put that in my mouth and I bite it off!"
"You do that and I will stab you with this stalagmite in the brain."
"Then you'll trigger a nervous breakdown forcing my jaw to close down at bone crushing strength. You'll lose that dick of yours." I used this time to kick the dragons off from behind me and tackle the leader down. I grabbed my mask and goggles and ran from them.
"Dawn!" I yelled in it. "Get me the fuck out of here!"
"Alright!" He teleported me out of the cave and back into the office.
*pant pant* "Phew! Almost got raped their." I told him.
"Jeez! Your so lucky!"
"I did all the work." I looked at Celestia. "They wouldn't listen to me and they attempted rape."
"Just be thankful that you weren't."
"Yeah yeah." I gave Dawn the tattered remains of my suit. "Need a new suit."
"Damn. You are so lucky! They got this far?!"
"What do you mean? You sound like you expected this."
"When do we send you back out their?" Celestia asked me.
"When my suit get's fixed and I feel like it." Dawn threw me the spare suit.
"What is with you and making two of everything?"
"Can't help it." I put it on and got teleported back.
"Well your either brave or stupid." said Spike. I gave him a double dropkick in the face breaking some teeth.
"Bastard!" I grabbed the stalagmite and threw it at the leader and pierce his wing nailing him to the wall. I tackled the other two and gave them a series of blows leaving them all incapacitated.
"You try to rape me when I try to help you! Fuck you!" I gave one of them a kick. "I follow orders from Celestia. She notified the authority around here so you guys are all fucking screwed! I tried to help but forget it! Just forget it!" I walked out of the gave and flew back to base.
"Nice one man. Way to talk some sense into them."
"Fuck you asshole!" I said to Dawn while I stripped. "Where were you?!"
"Here."
"Whatever. Those kids can rot in jail for all I care." Luna walked in.
"I received the report. Are you alright Shadow?"
"Yes. But those kids aren't. Ow!" I felt the cut on my face. "That Spike asshole. This is going to scar! How to fuck do I explain that to Kay! Oh shit I just thought off something. Twilight said this wears off in 3 weeks. I'm getting married in 2 weeks! Oh fuck me. Why can't my life be so simple.
"Bye guys." I said flying out the window. I made my way home as quick as I could. When I got there everyone was finishing their dinner.
"Ah woman of the hour." Said Static while snickering. "Hahaha... How does it feel?" I remember I saved some of Twilight's potion and kept it in my pocket.
"I don't know you tell me." I said pumping the liquid down his throat (Hehehehe. Oh Sex puns. I love you) and soon enough he turned to a mare.
"What the hell?" She said in a voice like mine.
"Hahaha!" I was the first to laugh. Everyone else laughed. Even Static. I sat down beside Kay and ate the leftovers of dinner.
"So Shadow." said Rarity. "What did you do today?" What?!
"Oh god dammit Twilight!" I yelled at the pony with the sheepish smile. "What part of keep one fucking secret don't you understand! Erg! Now I'm pissed!" I banged my hoof on the table.
"I can't take you serious with that cute voice." said Forest.
"Fuck off! Whatever. Since you all know now might as well not keep anymore secrets huh?"
"Nope!" said Static.
*sigh* "Alright I went to the Dragon Kingdom to talk some rowdy teens down, almost got raped, and then I beat them all up and called the authority on them. That's all."
Static's jaw dropped. "You were almost raped!"
"Almost. Got out of their with only a scar." I pointed to my cheek.
"Oh darling your appearance is ruined!" said Rarity. Dream wasn't here. I just noticed that.
"I think it looks sexy." said Kay.
"So do I." I said in return.
"Was Spike there?" asked Twilight quietly. I don't want her to know he almost fucked me tonight.
"No he wasn't Twilight. I haven't seen him." I am the master at telling lies.
"Alright. Good. Maybe he has changed." Oh but he hasn't... Man.
"Rarity I know your not a secret keeper so let me ask you something." I asked the unicorn. "How many ponies did you tell that I was Shadow?"
"Oh... Tee hee. I uh... Told the whole town."
"Ooohhhh...." I put my face in my hooves. "Rarity. Why?" I asked angrily.
"I couldn't help myself. My associate is dating the best hero we've had in a long time." I'm not a hero. I killed Blade. I almost killed again tonight. Now that I think about it I might have murdered Blade... FLASHBACK!
"Now I know whose family to kill." He said while breaking the chain on his left forearm. I stabbed him with the hacksaw.
...yeah it was definitely self defense. I heard singing outside. I got up and opened the door.
"Shadow Shadow he's our man! He'll steal all your plans! He'll stop the assassin! Now no one's missing!" That last part didn't rhyme. I closed the door.
"You told them where I lived?"
"Sorry." said Rarity. *sigh* I just need some me-time god damn it.
"It's okay. Hey Twilight I need you to fix this potion. I need to not be a mare."
"Why?"
"You said this wares off in 3 weeks. The wedding is in 2 weeks."
"Oh. Whoops. *giggle* I'll get right on it Shadow."
"Twilight you got that cure ready?" I asked the purple pony with the chemistry set.
"Right about... now!" There was a small poof of smoke and she held a golden vile. Static and I both took a swig and changed back into our normal forms.
"Here we go!" said Static.
"This is more like it." I popped my hip in place. "Now that this is over what did you say you signed us up for Twilight?"
"The annual Running of the Leaves race! It's in Ponyville!"
"I see. Is it fun?"
"It's so much fun dude." said Static. "Their are a lot more runners this year as well. Including us good stallions."
"I really like that title. It really just sets in."
a few hours later
We were stretching at the race line. Kay couldn't run. She was a little bigger. The baby started to grow.
"Hey guys what's the point of this?"
"It's to run and have some good fun." said Forest.
"Dude we've done this like twice now. It's a lot of fun unless you end up like Applejack and Rainbow Dash and race each other all the time."
"Understood." We saw Pinkie in a blimp with a microphone.
"Hello everypony to the annual Running of the Leaves. This year will be the most interesting yet. We have more ponies including Dustin Shafer or known A.k.a as the Shadow!" Everyone cheered. The only other thing you would probably hear was me yelling "Pinkie Pie!!!"
"We also have some Griffons in this." A few griffons got in the back of the line with us and made obvious signs that they weren't here to lose. I stood out of the crowd. I was the only one with a large 'x' shaped scar on my left cheek and wearing my battle suit. I had a feeling I might need it. "Let's begin!" Many ponies took off. Especially AJ and RD. I was the last to go. I stayed back and limbered up.
"And it appears Shadow is waiting to go last." said Pinkie. I popped my neck and took off after everybody else. I quickly made my way through the large griffons who were better at flying. I was in the back with my friends just chilling.
"Hey guys." I said.
"*pant pant* Dustin? Why did you wait?" asked Sky.
"Limbering up. I'm not even running." I said with a slight chuckle. They looked down to see I was trotting. I'm just fast.
"Isn't this fun?" asked Forest.
"It really is! It's also very pretty! Fall is one of my favorite seasons. The other is Spring."
"Why?" asked Dawn. Like I said everyone was in this race. Except the kids and a lot of other people. Yeah there were only about a hundred runners... so not everyone. I jumped over a few ponies and was right behind Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
"Oh oh Applejack and Rainbow Dash had better watch out. Shadow's creeping up on them." Oh that's a good way to put it actually. They both turned to see me. I wasn't even giving it my all.
"Hi girls." I said while moving past them.
"Get him!" said a bunch off ponies behind me. I wasn't cheating. I'm wearing a 10 pound suit and have my wings tucked away. I'm giving them all an advantage.
"I'm on it." said Static using his magic to enter the 'Time Sphere.' as I remember it so clearly. He was like a blur catching up to me. The griffons took off for the air. So for reals I started running. I took off way past them. I was running this time as I knew they were after me. On Earth I was a master escape artist. I don't mean to brag.
"Get that pony!" yelled a flying griffon. I stated to hum 'Ride of the Valkyries' for no reason. When he got down I jumped on his back. "Get off - OW!" I gave him a light kick.
"Onward! Bum bum ba bum bum bum ba bum ba bum ba bum bum ba ba!" He took off in the air. Every pegasus followed the air arrows and every other pony had to take the ground path. This wasn't in the show...
"I got you now!" said Forest who was still breathing quite heavily I might add. Good god It appears my English accent has returned! Hoorah! I must say where did this come from. It's quite random that I learn to speak like everyone here than get my old voice back out of the blue. I miss bacon... :,( *sniff*
"Are you crying Dustin?" asked Sky.
"I need my goggles." I said wiping my eye. I pulled a fly out. "Eh?" it flew off. We all watched it.
"You can fly." said the griffon.
"I can but that would decrease my odds of winning when we run again. My body isn't built to switch between flight and ground quickly."
"That would be a shame." said Sky who pushed me off the griffon. "Let's leave him in the dust!" Them and all the other pegasai took off past me.
"That bloody dick bag." I decided to glide down and run with some pegasus ponies that don't like to fly (Fluttershy) and the earth ponies. "May I run with you ponies?"
"Of course Shadow." said Fluttershy. The others giggled at that.
"Guess that's my adopted pony name huh?"
"Looks like it." We were close to the finish line. There was a road on our left that would combine with this one. The flyers had to get on it. I used all the remaining energy to speed up and win this.
"No you don't!" Yelled Rainbow Dash who grabbed my tail and tried to pull me back but I dragged her with me. Applejack jumped on top of me to slow me down but that didn't stop me either.
"Your trying to take my girl!" yelled Dawn from behind who zapped at me with a magic bolt. I dogged it with ease.
"Whoa! Now hold on their friend. I'm not taking anyone. Actually you have it!" I threw Applejack on Dawn and watched Heat Blaze on my left. "I got one for you too!" I flung Rainbow Dash at him with my tail leaving me in line for first place. Static pulled up beside me, so did Sky, Forest, and Twilight? We were all tied for first. I saw the line only a meter away.
"Shadow's going to win!" said Pinkie. But they deserve it more. I shall do the good thing! We all looked at each other and I stopped running for a second and let those 4 past me. Then I won fifth. Now to come up with an excuse.
"Oh ow! I tripped on my hoof their for a second! Oh well... Fifth place sounds lovely." I said accepting the small gold medal.
"The winner is... Twilight!" Guess the guys had the same idea.
"Wow! I won first place? This is awesome!" Actually I looked at the 4 guys and they looked exhausted. I think Twilight won this on her own. Well... Except for me of course.
"Great job!" I told her. I wasn't panting at all.
"Fifth? I got that for 2 years in a row but I actually won first!"
"Enjoy it Twilight. You earned it." I walked off and gave Kay a hug.
"I saw it all Dusty. You threw that race."
"Couldn't help it." I told her getting a kiss from her. We just hugged and waited for Celestia to congratulate us. She did come but only congratulated Twilight.
"Good job my royal student!" she said. I looked back and every tree was missing their leaves. It was beautiful. Celestia walked by me and winked for me to meet her later. I nodded my head. Kay wasn't looking. She was looking at the leaves.
"Sorry you didn't get to run." I told her.
"It's more than okay sweetie. I don't want to risk the baby do I?"
"No... that's why you'll make a great mum."
"*giggles* You sound like you got your accent back."
"I did. It appeared out of the blue. Too bad we still can't eat meat huh?"
"If we could I would have some bacon."
"With some eggs and a nice muffin with a side of butter."
"English breakfast. We can do the eggs and muffin still."
"Yes... but it's not the same." She giggled again. I love that. Twilight was still hopping up and down saying 'Yes!' How precious! I looked down at my medal. Maybe I am a hero. Just in my own sick way. Then again I'm the cynical protagonist of this mature story. I have been putting the past adventures as stories in my head. So If I ever have a dream about what I think then the inside of my mind would be like a library. So not mainstream...
"Hey Dustin or... Shadow. Guess that's your adopted pony name." said Kay. "I wanted to ask you what happened to Singing Blade."
"You know what happened?"
"I heard that he attacked you at the Griffon Mountain."
"He did. Then I ended up killing him in the Dungeon." I said lowering my head. I watched a puddle of water on the ground.
"Why did you have to kill him?"
"To... to protect you... and our friends. He was making an escape attempt and I acted with the only tool I had available. A hacksaw. I rammed it into his gut and ripped up all his innards."
"But you did it for the good of us all? I know it doesn't feel good." I didn't notice most of our friends eavesdropping.
"It doesn't. He may have been a psycho but he had memories. Maybe a family and I just took that all away." I watched the puddle till a shadow rose above it. I looked up to see Celestia.
"Dustin. Shadow. You've been through a lot in the past few weeks. You have become the best spy we have ever had and also killed a madman. Your a hero." She said in Pinkie's microphone. Great... Let's let everyone know.
"Yeah!" said everyone. They still support me? Even Rainbow Dash agreed. Wow... I feel like my entire life lead up to this point... Feels good! Plain and simple. That's how I like it.
"Thank you everybody!" I said out loud. I looked around me. The kids were playing in the mud. All of my friends and Kay were enjoying a nice cup of cider. On my right was a large pony with a hood. He had a crow on his shoulder and deep red eyes. He stood their and watched me. Time seemed to slow down and I swear we talked telepathically.
"Hello there young keeper of time."
"Hello there creepy keeper of secrets."
"Hahaha... We shall meet again in a few minutes. I have a friend who wants to meet you again."
"Wait!" I said out loud. The pony disappeared with the wind gust that happened. Only a few ponies heard me and they all cave me the 'You crazy!' look. Dammit. What friend wants to meet me again? Maybe a dragon...
"Hey Dustin! Your talking to yourself again bud!" said Static offering me some cider.
"Guess I am." Let's see. He was creepy. Large. Silent. He also had the presence of death like... like... Singing Blade... Oh no!
"Dustin?" said Celestia as she saw the worried look on my face. I ran to the microphone.
"Everypony get to cover! Find a hiding place! Now!" They did as was told and spread away from me in wide spread panic. Kay shared a tent with all my friends and the princesses. I stood in the middle of the street and closed my eyes. I need to concentrate.
"Hello Shadow. Or should I say Shafer?" said a deep cold voice.
"Hello Blade. What brings you around these parts?"
"Oh I think you know what I'm shopping for." I heard a familiar sheathing noise. He's ready to kill. So am I. I opened my eyes and dodged his attack throwing him onto the stage. I kicked down one of the benches and picked up two legs. They shall act as my weapons for now.
"Not bad Shadow!" I just now got a good look at him. He was mostly their. By mostly their were plates, and bone armor. He was too evil for even Death to kill. So leave the job for me. This time I'll cut his head off!
"Stand down Blade. If you don't I will kill you again!"
"You never killed me before! I faked death so your guards would dispose off my body." Smart. But you need more than a few plates and one wing to beat me. He was still weak. He did charge at me though. Is that his favorite attack? I dashed under him and got to one of his blind sides. I then jumped on him and began beating him in the head with my sticks.
"Don't you ever give up?!" How many times did I hit him? Lost count. And he's not being affected at all. Not a good sign. He looked at me with deep red eyes and smiled. He had these Shark teeth that just... Erg! Sends shivers down your spine. I jumped off and stood my ground. The sky changed. The moon moved in front of the sun and made the sky a blood red.
"What's wrong Shadow? No technology?" I never used technology. But the scythes did help.
"What's wrong Blade?" I saw him start to walk in a non straight pattern. He was still getting use to messing his left wing. "You look a little lop sided."
"Fuck you." He tried to stab me but I moved left and dodged it. I kicked the sword out of his hand and hit him in the spot where I stabbed him with the hacksaw. He began to cough and I threw the sticks at him. I grabbed his sword and stood against him.
"Come on Blade... Your losing to a small little pegasus like me."
"Your no pony! Your that dumb fucking primate called a human!"
"Ouch. I'm hurt. I might just have to hurt you for real because of that."
"For Real?" I charged him and rammed the sword into his right hoof nailing him to the ground. I gave him a brutal uppercut and while in the air I flipped and brought my two back legs down on his head. While he was dazed I twisted my body on the ground and gave him a double hoof pound in the chest wound sending him flying back and the sword slicing his hoof in two.
"AAAAGGGGHH!!!" he screamed while on the ground. "How can someone move like that?"
"I told you to stand down Blade! You have made the past few weeks a horror because you just wont quit! Don't you see? Your not going to kill me. And as long as I live you aren't going to kill anyone else."
"*cough cough* I'll kill... you. I will rape your wife... kill your friends. Save their children till they are ready to kill! I'll make an army and dedicate it to kill people like you because I know you won't kill me. Then I'll kill everyone else hear." Every pony was scared. Even I was but I was always scared. I just never stopped to think about it. Not enough time in my schedule. I walked over and picked up the sword.
"Your going to rape my wife to be?" I asked him. He looked scared. I stood above him blocking out the sun. My silhouette was all he could see with the blood red sky. "Your going to kill my friends, kill all these innocent citizens, and raise a child army?" I held the sword against his head forcing him too look at me. The only color you could see beside the red sky was my blue eyes. "And I can't kill? Do you want to know what I had to do to survive before this?" I raised the sword in the sky.
"You c-couldn't do this! Y-your a pony and ponies don't kill."
"You said it yourself that I was a dumb primate." I dropped the sword and chopped his head off. I twisted it and planted it in his skull. "I am Dustin Mark Shafer!" I yelled for the gods to hear me. "I am a human and the protector of these ponies and you won't kill anyone else ever again!" The red sky regained it's color. It went back to it's purple shade as the sun set. This time he was dead. For real.
"You did it!" said some of the surprised ponies. I didn't move. I just got on my back knees and thought about what I did. This wasn't self defense. This was an execution. I just murdered a murderer. Fucking perfect. He's not even worth me smoking a blunt.
"Guards." I said to the two golden armor ponies who came here to check on the princess. "Take his remains and burn them. I don't want him coming back."
"Yes, sir!" They put him on a wheelbarrow and carried him to the trash disposal plant. Kay ran over to comfort me while everyone else celebrated.
"Hey! Hey! Look at me Dustin!" She said getting in front of me. I looked at her. "I know. This time you really killed him. We're all sorry."
"Sorry? Kay their celebrating me for killing a pony. Their not sorry. Not for me. Nor for him."
"Don't think that way." she said. The others quieted down. "Their just celebrating because their living. Because you saved them again!"
"I don't feel that way!" I yelled. I didn't mean to but I can't keep this all bottled up inside. "I don't feel happy about this! This is suppose to be a good day isn't it? Running of the Leaves? I just killed someone!" They all were completely quiet. "It wasn't self defense! I just executed him! I just... I just..." I let the tears fall. She pulled me in a hug. I fell forward into her chest.
"Shh shh. Hey take it easy. It's okay. You didn't execute him. You absolved him."
"Thanks Kay." I just couldn't move. Some ponies came by and patted me on the back.
"Dustin no one would ever feel good about killing. If we did we would be like Blade. Your a hero and you deserve a break." She rubbed my head. All the ponies thanked me. She was right. I just did what God needed me to do. I finished his evil ways. I saved him and any soul not at rest.
"God... I feel pretty stupid. I'm here crying for something bad that never happened."
"It is pretty stupid." She said. The smile moved back up on my face.
"I am Shadow. That's my pony name." I said for everyone to hear. "I want you all to remember me for that and not the human." Kay gave me a kiss. God I love her. She wiped my tears away.
"Come on Dustin. You never cry. If you do it's for bad things. He doesn't deserve your tears."
"Thank you Kay." I said. "When was the last time I cried?"
"3 years ago when your mom..."
"Yeah..."
"I don't think their is anyone as brave as you." she said.
"Or dumb."
"Mostly dumb."
"Hahaha... Let's go home." She pulled me in for hug and teleported us home.
"So do we continue to party?" asked Pinkie Pie to the rest of the ponies. They all though about it for a moment and yelled "Yeah!"
At the Crib
Kay and I were the only ponies in the house. Here we are making love and a few minutes ago I killed an assassin. I should get over it. I might kill more in the future.
"Just you and me." she said putting herself on top of me.
"Yeah. Wait..." I grabbed a piece of paper and began to write a letter on it. I said it out loud for Kay to hear. "Dear Celestia. Can I have the night off?" I wrapped it up and put a seal on it. It was similar to my cutie mark witch was a silver shield with steel wings coming off the side of it and a gold hourglass in the middle. Kay had the same mark except it was a golden shield and no wings with a silver hourglass in the middle.
"I'll get that." she took the letter and threw it in the fire from the fireplace. We saw the letter disappear and instantly appear in the air beside us. Kay took it and cleared her throat. "Dearest Shadow. You have been working non stop. Of course you get the day off. Enjoy your night. Tell Kay I said hello and we want the wedding to be a royal wedding here at the castle?"
"When did she learn about the wedding?" I asked her.
"It is Celestia. She probably read your mind." Oh god! That means she saw everything I saw. She probably saw me at the fashion show and she knows about the dirty thought I had about her! Oh that's messed up!
"Probably. Now we're royal."
"Isn't Static related to Celestia?"
"Oh yeah. Since I am technically a form of Static I'm related right?"
"Right... Do you want to be fancy?"
"it's not my style babe." I told her.
"Would you be fancy?"
"For you."
"That's all I needed to hear." Oh boy... She really does tickle my fancy.
So okay, I hate to sound a little slow but I just learned about the whole Royal Wedding with Twilight's brother. When the hell did she have a brother?! Why wasn't I informed of this? I could have done a great story in the past! Freaking Hasbro...
It was the next day in my life. I had a good sleep and a decent breakfast but now Pinkie wanted us all in Ponyville. By the time Kay and I got their she tore the wall off the train.
"Pinkie! What are you doing!" I yelled at the pink pony.
"I'm making sure the Cakes' magnificent cake makes it safe to the Canterlot Desert Competition."
"And you destroy the train? You do know their is a door right there."
"This is a guaranteed way to get the cake inside!" she said happily. I am too tired to complain right now. We all got on the train while Big Macintosh nailed the wall from the outside. I went to the bathroom so I didn't have to listen to all the chefs argue about whose desert is better. God... I hate sweets. I really do. Too much sugar and too sweet. It's just... disgusting.
"Shadow! Whose desert do you think is better?" asked Pinkie when I went back inside.
"I hate sweets. You can all lose for all I care." I said truthfully. Now Kay on the other hoof loves sweets.
"Dustin! Don't say that!" said Kay.
"I'll do what I want. Besides I'm too tired."
"How can you hate sweets!" started Rainbow Dash. "What kind of pony are you?"
"I'm a human you ignoramus!" God I love my accent.
"Well don't yell at me bub!" she said in defense.
I put my hoof on my eye to rub the sand out of it. "I'm sorry Dash. Just a little cranky. That's what happens when you wake me up at 4 in the morning."
"And it took you this long to get here?"
"I just wanted to stop for 1 muffin. 1! But Kay wouldn't let me. Then she teleported here without me making me fly." She blew me a raspberry. I stuck my tongue at her. "Do any of you guys have a muffin?"
"We have deserts." said the chefs. "And we don't want someone as repulsive as you to eat them." Ouch. That actually hurts.
"Repulsive huh? Alright." I turned for the door to the next cabins. "Goodbye!" I slammed the door behind me. What can I do as I wait on a train all night? No muffins. The chefs are douche bags. You know what would be funny... If someone ate all their deserts. Let's see here. We got Pinkie's MMHmm thingy. Got a griffon with eclairs. Got a donkey with a chocolate moose. Then theirs a guy with donuts. Donuts sound good but I don't want any of their food. They offended me. I'll just eavesdrop.
"What if one of them tries to sabotage the cake?" asked Pinkie. Everyone else giggled.
"Pinkie. No one is going to sabotage your cake." I just might... No! What am I thinking... I'll definitely just let someone else do it. I know someone is. She keeps describing it in a delicious way and everyone else watches it with greedy eyes. The way she brags about it... The poor cake deserves to be sabotaged. I got behind the door when everyone else came in. They went into the second door on the left. Guess that's where I sleep. I walked in.
"Where were you?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Talking to the conductor." I lied.
"And we should believe you?!"
"Rainbow listen to yourself. Your yelling at me for talking to a guy who drives a train." She stopped and realized how big of a fool she was making out of herself. But she didn't stand down.
"Or what? Your going to kill us too?!"
"Rainbow!" yelled Twilight.
"You just had to go their huh?" I asked her. "Thanks Rainbow. Thanks a fucking lot!" I kicked open the door and slammed in behind me. Damn that stupid cunt! Erg! DAMMIT! I need to take this anger out of my system. I walked through the other carts to see Pinkie protecting a cake. She glared at me.
"Relax Pinkie. I need someone to talk too." I asked her.
"What's wrong?"
"Rainbow's just being a nuisance."
"She bring up what happened yesterday?"
"Yeah." Awkward silence. "What are you doing?"
"I'm protecting this cake from any saboteurs!"
"Who would do that Pinkie?" I asked her.
"You maybe." I thought about it. "The chefs most likely!"
"Well I won't. I hate sweets."
"You hate them and that's why you'll destroy them!"
"Hahahaha! That sounds about right. I'm going to the roof. Call if you need me." I went through the back cabins and flew up to the roof to clear my head.
"Let's see. I killed Singing Blade for reals. I get the day off and then I have to help with a cake. I still can't wrap my head around the Spike thing. He wouldn't do that..." I stared up at the sky with the stars just beginning to appear. "Wish someone would come up to talk with me." Then again I need to get used to being alone. I have this feeling that if I keep up this whole spy thing then... I might get stabbed in the back for it. Who knows. Tia and Luna maybe...
"Spike wouldn't do what?" asked Twilight from behind me.
"Nothing. I was just talking to myself." How long has she been their?
"Thanks for coming Shadow. Static was busy with work. He got too many deliveries and he also had to take care of Sage for the day."
"It's no problem. Where are Sky and Forest?"
"Playing hookey." Those bastards! Leave me here by myself will they? "Sorry about Rainbow. She's just a little jumpy."
"I know. Don't worry about me Twilight."
"Oh... okay." She quieted down. I know she's worried but I'm not so why is she? "But you were talking about Spike."
"Your not going to drop it are you!" Do I have to yell to get it through her head? "Spike was part of the group the day before yesterday! Alright! Yes he's in trouble and yes he tried to get in my pants when I was a mare. Sorry I had to yell but I didn't want to tell you."
"It's okay Dustin! I'm fine!"
"No your not. I read the report and you went to therapy for months did you not?"
"Alright I'm not fine. What did you do to him?"
"I taught him a lesson about hitting girls." We both heard a noise from the dessert cabin. "Twilight... How was your wedding?"
"It was the best day of my life!"
"I see. I hope mine turns out good then!" I couldn't help but smile. "I really do love Kay. Now I'm going to marry my childhood friend and be a dad... It feels great!"
"That's kind of how Static felt."
"Static Wielder. He's been avoiding me since yesterday."
"We're just not used to death in this world Dustin. Not like you."
"I grew up with it Twilight. The world I came from was a world full of hate."
"Then why would you ever want to go back?"
"Because it was my world. My home. Hopefully you won't have to see it. I can't describe how beautiful the Earth is but the destruction blocks it. Make any sense?"
"No."
"Let's just drop it." The sun completely dropped. I went back to star gazing.
"I'm going to go back to bed."
"Goodnight then." She went back down. "Nice talking with you." I heard a BONK noise from below. Guess Pinkie's going wild. I went back down to my cabin but couldn't see so I equipped my goggles. Night vision rules! I saw Rarity come in through the Desert car holding her right eye. She do something? I went inside my cabin and saw that all the beds were taken. Rarity grabbed the last one and they were small beds so you couldn't share. I looked inside the other cabins with the chefs in it. They had lots of spare beds but they wouldn't share with a ruffian on me. Guess I'm sleeping on the roof. I got back up to my spot and played with my goggles. I was bored. Awake. Aware. Alone. Lost and far from home. Why did they really bring me back here? I cut my Night vision off.
"Guess god has other plans for me." I close my eyes for a second and opened them seeing it was day time. I didn't even get to dream. I haven't dreamed much since that whole comatose thing a few years back. I climbed back down and took off my goggles. I went into the room seeing all the ponies panic. They were all gasping and scared as Pinkie was making these odd accusations. About what? It's not like the cake... Oh. No. There we go. I see it now. Someone got a little hungry huh?
"Hey guys. What's going on?" I asked. I also saw the other deserts were ruined. They all stared at me with angry eyes. "What?"
3 minutes later
The chefs opened the door of the moving train and most of the girls except Kay and Twilight picked me up and headed for the door.
"It wasn't me! I was sleeping on the roof!"
"The culprit escaped on the roof!" said Pinkie Pie. "We got you red-hoofed." They all threw me out. I looked to see I was going downhill.
"Oh... shit." I hit the ground and rolled down the hill hitting about 9 trees. "Oof! Ah! Dammit!" I finally hit the bottom and landed in a thorn bush. "*cough cough* I didn't do anything..." I climbed out and tried to fly. My right wing was broken.
"God dammit *cough cough* fucking ponies." I pulled out the thorns and climbed back uphill. I got to the train tracks in about 40 minutes and looked around. To my left was nothing. To my right was Canterlot about 4 miles away. "Guess I'm hiking it huh?" All because of a stupid muffin! I can't fly! I'm walking with a limp for god's sake! Why didn't Twilight or Kay help me? I saw them. "*cough cough*" I think I broke a rib. No make it all of them...
About 4 hours of walking and complaining later...
I was bleeding a lot. My nose. My right eye (It's okay. I use my left eye to aim.) and I had a cut above my right eye. I finally made it back to Canterlot. The contest was over and all the ponies were laughing and having a good time. Those motherfucking cunts! I would kill you all if I was a psycho... which you had better be praying to god 'Hallelujah!" because I'm not!
"Dustin! You made it!" said Twilight. I lifted my head and showed her my face. I was just a bottle of pure rage right now.
"Fuck you!" I yelled at her. "Fuck all of you!" I limped away. I am not in any fucking mood to talk to them. And you know what? I'm not saying sorry. Why should I? They just threw me out of a train going about 50 mph! I had to walk the last 4.
"Come back!" yelled Rainbow Dash.
"I said Fuck you! That means Screw you and fuck off! Ow! This hurts so fucking bad!" I popped my left hoof back in place making them all flinch. "I hated sweets! Did I not tell you that! I did nothing and you threw me out of a train!" I popped my neck getting them to flinch again. "Where's the hospital! My wing is broke and I am so tired right now..." None of them came to help me. I couldn't see out of my right eye. It was all red. Pinkie hopped over to me.
"I'm really really really sorry!" When she touched me I growled like a mad dog. She backed off.
"Hey she was only trying to help!" yelled one of the chefs.
"Why should I listen to you? I'm a ruffian! You said it yourself!" Kay tried to hold most of them back.
"Guys. Trust me he's not in the mood." she so totally knows me. That's why I love hr. She knows when to give you your space. Twilight teleported in front of me to stop me.
"Stop right their mister!"
"Do not blame me for this train mystery. I have done absolutely nothing wrong and you guys, My fucking friends, just threw me away like trash. That makes me feel so special." Twilight smacked me. She held up her hoof and smacked me.
"Oh she shouldn't have done that." said Kay backing off. I bared my teeth at the shaking Twilight who slowly backed away. My left eye was red. I had to keep my right one closed. I held up my head and yelled. I just screamed to the sky as literal black fire came out. Once again I was not in the mood. My left wing got bigger and the blade extruded out of the top. My right one hung to my side since they broke it. My hair was black with smoke coming from it.
"I told you to fuck off!" I yelled at her. "No go away now!" She ran to her friends. I really need to poop. If I do I can just get this anger out of me. "Grr! Where is the outhouse!" I yelled. Celestia pointed to her left. "Good!"
5 minutes of good pooping later.
I came out back in my normal state. I was trying to whistle but it was just a mixed sound of spit noises. Why can't I whistle? It's the only thing I want to learn how to do. I also can't eat spicy food. Static should have that same problem. I was fine though. The girls... weren't.
"I'm fine guys." I said trying to get them to look at me. "*sigh* Come on girls. What's wrong?"
"You are." said Rainbow Dash. They all turned to see me. The princesses weren't here and neither was Kay.
"Look I'm sorry alright. I just can't keep that much anger built up inside of me."
"Your a monster." said Fluttershy quietly. That was... just... the worst thing I have ever heard in my life.
I looked in a mirror across from them. The right side of my face was dried up blood and I had cuts and bruises all over me. My wing was broken and I was just a mess. I could see the tears in my one good eye. "*sigh* I guess I am..." I walked away with my head hung low. I'm a monster? But it's their fault. So why am I to blame here? Did I ruin their day? This is all I ever do. I just cause trouble. I'm not going to cry however. They just made me so mad. If only they just listened to Kay. Then Static, Forest, and Sky made their way in front of me. "Look guys. I said I was sorry."
"We heard everything." said Forest. "Dude you look like shit."
"I was thrown from a fast train down a hill and hit a bunch of trees and thorn bushes... So yeah shit sounds about right."
"Thanks for not hurting anyone Dustin." said Static. I looked to see all the girls quiet and just looked at me. When I wasn't looking Static pulled me in for a hug.
"Aw... dammit." I gave him a pat on the back.
"We're sorry dude." said Sky getting in on the hug.
"Don't feel down." said Forest getting in on the love.
"You guys... *sigh* I try." The girls all looked sad. They just now thought about what they said. "Apparently I'm a ruffian, I'm a saboteur, and I'm a monster. All in one day." I said it loud enough for everyone to hear. They all came in for a group hug. I didn't fight it. "Do you guys seriously know where the Hospital is?" They all laughed a little. "Guys, I'm serious. This is killing me." I pointed to my wing.
"I can help you." said Fluttershy. She's the animal expert and in their eyes... humans are animals.
"That's sounds great."
"Sorry for hitting you." said Twilight. "I just didn't know you were so stressed."
"It's part of my everyday life Twilight. I just never let it out. Apology accepted." All because of a fucking muffin!
This isn't a chapter this is just to clear the story.
All right... If you can't read the bold above this then your just... stupid. This is not a chapter.
Now In 'A Few Good Stallions' we saw Dustin die and come back as Static. He lived and laughed as it was all good until Kay died. She reminded him off everything. Celestia was giving him fake memories. So with his humanity restored Dustin ended up going back in time due to Discord. He killed zombies, turned out to be a complete badass, and caused a time paradox. He died a few more times and even thought he was a wraith for a good little bit. (Too much Legacy of Kain.) But he realized that's just silly. You silly. As it turns out he was in a coma. It happened before the events of the first chapter and all his friends except Kay are dead.
In 'A Few More Good Stallions' Dustin and Kay ended up going back to Equestria. In his dream he actually created this world. He gave everyone life but now he can't go back to Earth and he can't die or he stays dead this time. And I'm sure you have realized what he's going through now. He's hard to trust. He killed an assassin and in this world, well... Death just isn't something these ponies are used too.
The story was meant to follow Static Wielder. But it wasn't Static it was Dustin who lived through his eyes. Dustin is more of a self picture of myself in this story. Except he's a little more badass. You can see how Dustin ends up going through this change. He's going to get married and have a kid but then it all goes crazy as he gets brought back to Equestria because his friends messed him. Now he's stuck. He goes through this change as Shadow. He doesn't know it but this character really sticks to him and plays an important role to his future.
When I started this story I thought to myself. "What the hell am I going to do? Was a time paradox not enough?" I ended up confusing myself with it. (Note to self: Never do that again!) We as humans aren't exactly something that ponies would get used to. We're destructive animals in their eyes like a... manticorn. I think that's how you spell it. Dustin sort of represents that. He's not your typical pegasus. He changed from unicorn to a pegasus right before everyone's eyes! He can't change back though. It was more of a 'God is messing with me!' karma thing. He's the best fighter they have.
I mean it. The best fighter in this land. You see ponies like Applejack and Rainbow Dash who are athletes but in different ways. Rainbow is a racer and Applejack is a worker. Dustin is a fighter. That's all he's good at in this world. He can't even use his Engineering skills to help him anymore. He becomes this spy... this Shadow. A hero. It was a mistake but now everyone knows him for it (Thank you Twilight!) He's also not that bright as we all can see. This story is unlike the first one where he created this universe. This story is about his life. How he must change to survive. He's not a kid anymore. He's an almost middle aged man.
Dustin represents humanity. If he was an element then he would be Will or some stupid shit like that. Because that's all he has left. He's not on Earth where he makes lots of money buy building things and stuff like that. This is Equestria. He's a spy now! He just wants to settle down with his friends like Static who has his own Mail Company! When Dustin was Static and Celestia gave him fake memories she made him run away from home and become a soldier and stuff like that. Now Static isn't like that but Dustin is! She really just fucked with him. What she didn't know was that this helped him. In like every possible way. Yeah sure he's a hero now and yeah sure he had a tough life but who hasn't? Hell even the word 'change' pisses off Dustin. Why? Because he's been through so many! I can only say that soon He's the one that will be making the changes.
Trust. Now that is a word that can hurt. Dustin doesn't know what to trust. He knows their are multiple dimensions of this world he created. Now when he attacked the castle and died and came back. He... changed the fate of everyone and everything. Spike became a greedy asshole and did 'you know what' to Twilight. His friends all have kids... He's expecting one... just all this shit! Life at one point was just so much more simpler. Singing Blade is another hard thing to understand. Dustin killed him twice! Second time by DECAPITATION! This is Dustin or Shadow's reoccurring rival in a sense. It can only get worse. Now his friends can't even trust him. He spends all day making a fool of himself or working behind a desk and at night becomes this spy. And Spies only cause trouble. The one thing he's good at...
Nightmare Night? I get to scare people? It's a dream coming true!
I read this little comic panel on bronies not to long ago. It was this human with a shirt saying internet laughing at a pony wearing a shirt saying brony on it being all 'Haha! You like My Little Pony.' Then the brony had man tears and was all 'Why can't we love and tolerate.' Then he saw another pony with a white shirt that said 'Clopper.' on it. Then the brony laughs at him and is all 'Haha! You clop to My Little Pony.' I thought it was pretty damn funny. If you read my stories and enjoyed my sex scene from the first story a little too much... Just know that somewhere around the world, I don't care who you are, but I'm laughing at you. ~ Static Wielder.
I went to Fluttershy's cottage and allowed her to fix up my wing. It didn't hurt until she tried to fix it.
"Shadow! Come back here!" She yelled as I ran away from her cottage.
"No!" Guess that name really stuck to my image huh? I'm now Shadow the Brony. Great! And I probably won't have a crappy game that involves me being an android or using guns huh? (If you don't get the Shadow the Hedgehog joke then trust me. Do not get it!)
"Then I'll make you!" Fluttershy tackled me and flipped me in the air throwing me to the ground. She put her hooves on my back and began to pop the bones in place.
"Ow! Ahhhh...."
"You should have come to me earlier Shadow. You have a lot of tension in your shoulder."
"You got it..." Oh this is nice. I don't even care if she's going to give me a cast. If I can get a shoulder massage from this cutie then it's all good.
"And I'm done."
"Thanks Shy." I told her getting up. She bandaged my wing to my side.
"Don't fly with that wing for at least 3 weeks."
"Alright. Didn't you say there was a holiday coming up?"
"Nightmare night. I'm not a fan of it."
"What's it about?"
"You know about Nightmare Moon right?"
"I do."
"Then on this day children celebrate her by getting candy and sacrificing it to her."
"That's why Luna has so many cavities."
Last week. Dentist's office
"Alright Luna. Now that those cavities are gone you may leave." said the Dentist. I was in the waiting room with Dawn and her two guards.
"How does one get 9 cavities at once?" I asked Dawn while lowering my 'Ponies' magazine.
"Very carefully." He said back looking over his 'Hot flanks of 2012.' magazine. I gave him a confused look and went back to reading.
Current date.
"She said she got them from not eating enough candy. But that's not possible." I said to Fluttershy.
"Guess she just loves candy." she told me.
"When's Nightmare Night?"
"Tomaro. On that day I just stay inside."
"Because you get scared?" She nodded her head up and down. I gave her a pat. "Don't worry Shy. I won't scare you tomaro. How does that sound?"
"It sounds great." she said quietly. I didn't want to scare her. If she tackled me because I tried to run then think about how she'll get revenge. *gulp*
"Alright. Thanks for bandaging me up."
"Don't worry about it." She close the door behind me and I went to move my hoof up to feel the stitches she gave me.
"Don't touch them." She said in a serious voice out her window. I lowered my hoof and went back to walking. I can still glide with one wing right?
"Here we go." I jumped off the hill and used my one good wing to gently make my way down hill. "I can still work then." It's not over yet. I have a feeling I might need to get used to one wing flying quickly. I might get in a fight since everyone knows I'm Shadow. I don't know why Forest and Fluttershy and Terra live in that cottage when Static gave them all a room at the Crib. Guess they don't like the company. Or maybe too much company?
"Hey Shadow! Just the guy I was thinking of." Said Sky from above. "I see you can still glide."
"That I can man!" I gave him a brohoof.
"Alright alright. You ready for tomaro?"
"I am. Oh don't scare Fluttershy."
"Oh I know. Poor thing... any little thing can break her heart." Any thing? I mean I remember that one scene when the phoenix died and she cried. Oh why! Who would make her cry! My brother Cody strapped me to a chair and made me watch her cry for 10 hours straight. I haven't ever cried so much in my life.
"Hey Shadow. Your brow is twitching."
"I know! Stop pointing that out! It's a nervous twitch that happens when I think too hard on a subject."
"What are you thinking of?"
"How much I hate to see Fluttershy cry."
"Oh I know. She's the only thing that can make me cry on the spot."
"It's too sad!" I said covering my eyes. I was having trouble seeing even though I got all the blood out of my eye. "Hey Sky. Can you do me a solid?"
"What is it?"
"You see. I'm having troubles seeing and in my room on my drawer their is a glasses case. Can you get my glasses?"
"Sure." He took off flying for Canterlot. I just sat down on a close bench beside a brown pony with brown hair and an hourglass.
"Well hello their chap." I gave him a look and thought to myself for a bit.
"Doctor... Whooves?" I asked him.
"You know me?"
"I watch Doctor Who dude. I've seen every episode! Even the ones from the 60's."
"Ah So you know about the first 10 doctors?"
"I do. Your definitely on my top 3 for favorite United Kingdom guys of all time."
"The others?"
"James Bond and Liam Neeson."
"I'm pretty sure James is from Switzerland."
"Is he? Damn." Sky came back down and handed me a pair of black glasses with transition lenses. "Hey Doctor, Is the TARDIS around?" I asked him
"I have it hidden so no pony shall take it. Do you know where I can get a decent muffin?"
"I went to get a muffin and later got thrown out of a train. But anyways I never found a muffin joint. Is it too hard to get a decent breakfast around here?"
"I know! I just wanted some Bacon and Eggs but Equestrians are herbivores."
"I'm so tempted to go cannibal on some one." Sky just looked back and forth between us and took off. When he left we had a more serious conversation.
"So. Your the Shadow I have heard of."
"I am."
"You created this universe while in a coma?"
"Apparently. Isn't that just the darnedest thing?"
"You have the makings of a Time Lord."
"No that's your job my good Doctor." I showed him my cutie mark. We both had something to due with time. "But I do have an hourglass on my rump." I told him.
"As do I. It must have something to do with Time and Particles."
"Exactly!" I was just thinking that! Oh he's good.
"Well I better head off. Great meeting you."
"Great meeting you Doctor. ALLONS-Y!" He nodded and left. In case you were wandering Allons-y is french for 'Let's go.'
I made my way home via train. I just now noticed how hard it was to travel without wings. I'm a sufferer of wing withdrawal. And just where I want to fucking be too! A train! But I'm in no condition to complain. The girls all owe me one. I just need to think of an embarrassing act to get my revenge!
"Excuse me." said a child. I stopped looking out the window and day dreaming and looked at the small filly.
"Uh, Yes?"
"Can my family and I sit here?" I looked around. I saw I was the only person in this cabin. I looked over her and saw her small family. I looked back and through the window on the door to see the other cars stuffed.
"Yes you may." I said.
"Thank you! Thank you kind sir!" said the father. He put his bags up in the storage area and took a seat across from me. "It is rare to see such kindness these days!" His wife took a seat beside him and four kids took the seats on our left.
"It's no problem!" I said. Glad to help.
"We were scared that you would turn us down." said the mother. "We've been trying to get seats for a half an hour now."
"I got on early. That's why I got such good seats." I told her. I lied. Actually I think they were scared of me. I looked back out the window. I wanted to get back to my daydream about Kay.
"Are you alright? You look like you were thrown out of a train?!" asked the dad.
"Hahahaha! I was! Yesterday in fact." How did he do that?
"I am so sorry to hear that!"
"I didn't even do anything. Blame the muffin man." I told him.
"Excuse me?"
"Blame the muffin. It was the whole reason why everything yesterday turned out shitty." I slept at Fluttershy's in case you were wandering. "Besides I need to get home. Tomaro's Nightmare Night!"
"Ah! Your a Canterlot pony."
"You could say that." He took notice of my black suit and Kevlar vest. Dawn said this would help with the dragon's claws and most other weapons. "You a guard?"
"I'm the royal guard. The personal guard of the princesses." They both were amazed by me. They just stared. It was... creepy.
"We'll that's awesome!" said one of the kids. "What's your name mister?"
"I am... Shadow." They all stopped with the excitement. The dad stood up and grabbed his case.
"Sorry to bother you!" He grabbed his kids and the entire family took off.
"*sigh* Why do I even bother?" I went back to looking out the window. I forgot what I was dreaming about! Damn them! I wanted to talk now. But they left. Why are they scared of me? I'll ask the princess to spread word so everyone is more... let's say friendly.
"Excuse me sir!" said another small filly. I looked down to see Diamond Tiara. "We want those seats."
"Well I guess I ca-" her dad came around the corner and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. He cut me off before I could finish talking.
"Diamond! No! Don't bother this pony!" he scooted her to the seats on the left. He was shaking and blocking the filly from my sight.
"*sigh* If you have a problem then please tell me now."
"Yes Mr. Shafer sir!" he said saluting me. He then quieted down. No problems?
"Well... why is everyone scared of me?" He remained quiet. "Please answer me Filthy Rich."
"You just scare ponies. You killed that man."
"In self defense."
"Then freaked out yesterday.
"In rage."
"And that's why." Diamond just now realized who I was.
"Stop looking at me you weird freak!" she yelled. The entire train was quiet. I could hear everyone listening in.
"I apologize!" said her dad. "Diamond that's Celestia's personal guard. He has the utmost authority out of all of us! And you just insulted him! Apologize!" She was blown away by her father's statement.
"He is the hero we all heard about? What kind of hero has scars and a broken wing!"
"A careless one." I said looking back out the window. What a snob. Too bad I don't hit girls. And I will never hit a kid. Except my child. I might beat them like my dad beat me. Who knows. Why could I not get a nice quiet train ride.
"My daddy isn't scared of you!" she said. He gave her a small smack on the back of the head. "Ow!" I stopped listening to her a while back. I was thinking about work. Dawn said he was going to take the day off. I might have to work tomaro. I won't even get to enjoy scaring people. Dammit! I closed my heavy eyes for a second and opened it and we were in Canterlot. I slept all night?
"All passengers welcome to Canterlot." said the intercom. I got up and left. Their were signs everywhere saying happy Nightmare Night. Kids were buying candy and costumes. I just went home. I opened the door and no one was home. No kids. No friends. No one. Their was a purple note on the kitchen counter.
'Dear Dustin. If you are reading this then we are in Ponyville for the Nightmare Night celebration. Sky told us how he made you get the train home because he told you Kay was their. Sorry about that. Enjoy your night! - Twilight Sparkle.'
They're in Ponyville! I was just their! Or I was yesterday... some friends. Guess they are still mad about the whole I freaked out on them because they threw me out of a train thing. *sigh* I'll just go to work. I looked around the house. No lights or anything. It was all darkness. The only light coming in was from the door I left opened and shinned on me. I threw the note away and left closing the door behind me. I walked to the castle.
"Dustin? Why aren't you with your friends?" asked Celestia.
"They pulled a prank on me making me come here on a train. I can't get back with a broken wing and even If I did... I just... they just pissed me off." I took my seat in the office. She walked in after me.
"I understand. This is Luna's favorite day!"
"I would be happy if I had a holiday after me Tia." I told her.
"*giggle* true true. I only have the Summer Sun Celebration."
"It's better than nothing. Every pony is scared of me and treats me like a freak." I told her. I looked in my mail bin. Dawn left a pile.
"No one's working today Shadow. It's a holiday."
"Then I'll be the first!"
"That's the spirit. It's getting late out." she said. I looked outside. She was right. She used her magic and made the sun completely vanish from the sunset. She let out a yawn.
"Go get some sleep Celestia. It's probably the only free day you have in a long time."
"Yes you are right. *yawn* Thank you."
"Goodnight." I grabbed a folder. I was a little sad. I love Halloween! It's my favorite day! They said it themselves. Nightmare Night? I get to scare people! It's a dream come true! Not! I just had it taken away. I don't care if it was a prank on their behalf it was still a dick move.
"I'll just read these reports. I'm talking to myself. Lame..."
7 hours of writing
"Done! Last report finished!" The entire office was clean and organized. It was sparkling clean. I had neatly stacked piles of notes and files along my desk. Dawn had nothing. I put the stamp on them saying these were my work. Now Celestia said Dawn is taking today off as well. Meaning I get to come back here tonight. Lovely. I cut of my desk lamp and the lights and locked the door behind me.
"Have a good day Shadow!" said the secretary who handed me a bag larger than usual. "Here's 20,000. Celestia said you were working hard and working while injured."
"Thank you." I said putting it in my saddlebag. I walked out of the castle to see the streets was a mess. The only happy thing I heard was Luna laughing from the castle. Guess I need to put Dentist visit on her schedule for this week. I made my way home. I opened the door to see everyone except the kids sleeping on the floor. They were sugar coated and drunk.
"I'm home." I said with a little anger.
"Oh *yawn* your back." said Twilight. "Did you enjoy the prank?" This was her idea?!
"Yeah Twilight. I did. I missed my favorite fucking holiday and spent all night working!" I yelled at her waking everyone up. "Thanks a fucking lot! Do you know how much work I did? I had to work two hours over due to massive reports off kids getting drunk! Two hours!" They all remained quiet. "I can't get one good fucking day can I!" I put my saddlebag on the table and pulled out my money sack. "I'm going to the bank." I went back outside.
"Wait Dustin!" Static was the first to come to me. Kay came out next. "Dude we're sorry!"
"Sorry! SORRY! I have heard that so many times and when I accept it you stab me in the back! We'll I'm not sorry! Why? I haven't done 1 bad thing. Not one!"
"How much money did you make?"
"20,000. Because I worked on a HOLIDAY and while INJURED!" I hate losing my cool. Kay came up to me and walked me to the bank.
"Sorry Dusty."
"I know. I just want to teach them something. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm getting old Kay and we have matured. I just want them to be mature as well."
"I know sweetie. See you in a bit?"
"Of course." She gave me a small kiss and went back home. She's the only thing keeping me sane. I made my deposit and walked home lighting a cigarette. I only have 3 left. I just need to get rid off all this stress.
"Sorry!" said everyone when I came in the house. I took my seat and smoked quietly. When I was done I took it outside and stomped it to the ground.
"It's okay guys. I'm just a little cranky. I had to get on a train again which is just what I want and then I worked later than I usually do. I was the only person working in the entire town. If you just told me that you didn't want me at the Nightmare Night celebration instead of tricking me to go away then we would all feel better."
"I know. I'm sorry Shadow." said Twilight. Everyone else said they were sorry.
"Guys... I mean come on! If you don't want me around then just say so."
"Then I guess we didn't want you around since you yelled at all of us." said Rarity.
"I yelled because you threw me out of a train. I read the report. It was you, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash who fucked with the cake. Not me! Yet you threw me out of a train going 50 miles per hour! Now I may be the physics expert here but you can all guess that it was super painful." Rarity backed down. She knew she lost this fight. Kay did warn her as well. Speaking off which why didn't she help me?
"I'm mostly offended by you Kay." I told her.
"Me?"
"You didn't help me when they threw me out. You didn't want me at the party. Now what's next? Please tell me so I don't get hurt physically or emotionally." My voice had finally calmed down. All the anger was gone.
"I'm sorry Dustin. It's just that we haven't been spending much time together and I wanted to get to know the girls better."
"Alright. See how easy that was?" They were all smiling. "This is how you let a friend down properly. Not with violence or pranks but the truth. What did we learn today?" Twilight raised her hoof as if this was class. "Yes! You!"
"We learned that we should lie to our friends in any possible way and we should be more mature as others will be hurt."
"Exactly!"
"Dustin will you ever forgive us?" Asked Twilight with her big eyes. It took me all of 3 seconds to know exactly what to say. I took in a deep breath and let it all out.
"Nope." I said while turning my chair to the fireplace.
"No?!" They all shouted.
"Yes. N-o... No."
"But why?"
"Because I'm going to remember this day and hate you guys for it. It's just some guilt you all will have to take to the grave."
"Hahaha! Your joking right?" said Rainbow Dash. I turned my chair and went to the table and grabbed my saddlebags and walked heading for the stairs. "Right?" asked Rainbow again. I turned back to them when I was at the top.
"No. I'm not joking." I went to my room. I took my glasses off and my suit. I had to get in the bed on my left side since my right side had the wing on it. It's okay anyways. I sleep on my left every night. Or is it day? I work over night most nights. Why does no one say Wizard anymore? Why do they call it a TV set if you only get one? Why am I thinking off paradoxes? I closed my eyes and for the first time in a while I was having a dream! Oh it was great! Their is sunshine and lollipops and rainbows and everything else related to that song. I heard a creek on my bed. I opened my eyes to see Pinkie in my face.
"AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!" I fell out of the bed hitting my head pretty hard. "Ow..."
"Please Rusty Dusty! Your Crusty!" Is she insulting me to get an apology? "I'm really sorry!" I looked to my right and everyone else was standing in my room.
"What? No! Ow! Look I got hurt again..." They all had sheepish smiles. "And you just made fun of my name Pinkie."
"I was only trying to rhyme." She gave me puppy dog eyes.
"Don't give me that. My heart can't handle anything that sad Pinkie and where I come from Crusty and Rusty aren't good things. Thanks for making my name sound so much better."
"Just say you accept my apology!" She said quietly. Aw... Now I'm about to make Pinkie cry? I can't take this anymore.
"Fine! I accept your apology!"
"YAY!" She threw her arms up nailing my in the right eye reopening my stitches.
"OOOWWW!!! Ow! OW OW OW!" My blood was pouring everywhere. I'm serious all they do is hurt me. "Screw your apology! I hate you guys again!" Fluttershy grabbed my first aid kit and began working on me again.
"You hate me?" asked the teary eyed Pinkie.
"Nooo... Pinkie. I just want to sleep. OW! and you guys keep hurting me. OW! Shy!"
"Sorry." She said quietly.
"Fine. Apology accepted." She was gentler with the stitching and didn't hurt me anymore. I looked at the blood soaked bed. "Now I can't sleep..." I'm not saying it. I'm not thinking it. If I do then the day will get worse.
"I don't think your day can get any worse." said Twilight.
"Twilight No! Don't say tha-" The floor below me busted sending me into the kitchen hitting every pan available. "Ow! I'm not okay."
"He's fine." said Static.
"Theirs a lot of blood!" I yelled.
"He's tough." said Rainbow Dash.
"BLEEGH!" I threw up a few times and passed out.
"Dustin!" yelled Kay running down in tears. She held me in her arms. "Please don't die on me!"
"I'm not dead! *sigh* I'm just... resting..." I put my head back down on her lap. Everyone else came down.
"Your a mess you know that?" she told me. I didn't respond. This time I really did pass out.
I'm finally over my Skyrim addiction. I reached level 52 and was just like 'Fuck it!' because I'm done. No more! I also need to get ready. Also it's April 14th. Meaning no new My little pony episode today! Damn you Hasbro. Damn you Royal Wedding.
I was in the center of Canterlot. All around me was businesses and people getting on with their averaged day lives. I couldn't hear anybody talk. They were moving at super slow speeds. The one thing that did catch my eye was a large pony with a hood over his head. He took it off and stared at me with blood red eyes.
"Hello Shadow."
"Ello!" I said back waving my hoof.
"Do you know who I am?" His coat was a pale gray and his hair was long and black.
"Not a clue!"
"Don't sound so smug. I'm the pony who will kill you."
"And why would you go and do that?"
"You killed my brother. I shall avenge him with blood. Remember me hero. I am Dancing Blade."
"Oh... I get it. I see what you did their."
"You think I am joking of killing you? Their is an art to killing don't ya know?"
"I do know. But I see swordplay as more of a... craft. Than an art anyways."
"Bold words from the man who hides in the dark." He said taking off. Well I finally get to have a dream and this asshole comes and ruins it. Well shit. "Listen close. I won't fight you first. I have an old acquaintance who wants to meet you."
"Who? WHO!"
"You work with her. Yesterday was a famous day for her." I don't understand. Yesterday was Nightmare night so... Luna! Nightmare Moon! SWEET TITS ASS FUCK! I need to wake up now!
I woke up in a room not familiar to me. I noticed I had a quilt with butterflies covering my body. The room was small and circular. Fluttershy's!
"Oh good your okay." said Forest coming up the stairs.
"I took another bad hit didn't I?"
"You bet. How did your body heal so quickly?"
"What do you mean?" I looked in the mirror. I had scars where the stitches were and my wing was fixed. "Oh dude! How long have I been sleeping!"
"12 hours."
"Alright. Guess my body is just strong then." Fluttershy walked up and looked at me.
"How did you heal so quickly?" she asked handing me a cup of tea.
"I don't know. Is that a good thing?"
"It can be. But you scarred and it looks really painful."
"It's okay. I was ugly to begin with. Now I just look cooler. Can you help me up?" Forest and Fluttershy quickly came to my side and pulled me out of the bed. Then Terra woke up.
"Mom dad. Is he okay?" asked the colt.
"He's fine son." said Forest.
"Wow! You look like a cool guy Shadow!" Even he knows who I am?! GAWD! I grabbed my suit and put it on.
"Thanks kid." I tried flying and my wings felt stronger than ever. "What did you do Shy? I feel ten times better!"
"I just gave you some home made medicine." She said with a blush. Forest then walked over to me and whispered in my ear.
"Hey Dusty. When's the wedding again?"
"Oh Shit! The wedding! What day is it?"
"It's Monday."
"Then we have 6 days. It's on Sunday!" I shall not get hurt 6 days before my wedding!
5 seconds later
"Ow!" I fell down the stairs.
"You alright?"
"No." I went outside and stretched my wings out. I can't help it that I fell. Didn't I just tell myself that I wasn't going to get hurt? Hmm.
"Be careful!" yelled Fluttershy as I took off. I need to get to the castle right now! I was flying faster than Rainbow Dash. I took me a while to see the black flames from behind me but no time to enjoy! I need to check on the princess! The castle is in my view. Good now I just need to...
"Ow!" I crashed into a force field on the outside of the castle. Their was a large gaping whole in the roof of it so I walked on the force field to look in it. I saw that Belle Blade I think his name was? Something with dancing. It was Dancing. I am so smart! Dawn was unconscious and so was Celestia. Dawn looked fine but Celestia was injured. He was talking to Nightmare Moon in Tia's throne. They both looked up at me.
"Their he is. Kill him Nightmare and I will honor our deal." He said. She licked her lips at me and took off in a charge.
"Oh shit!" She went through the field and held me in her arms. Every pony below began to panic.
"You are the Shadow I have heard off? You killed my friends brother?"
"I did. I suggest you stop this Luna."
"Hahaha! I am not Luna anymore!"
"You are! You are sweet little Luna and this nightmare stuff needs to end."
"Who are you?"
"I am Dustin Shafer."
"Your the human? I hope your blood taste sweet!" I saw her go for a bite so I punched her in the jaw. "Ow! Not a bad hit for someone as small as you."
"I'm sure you would like my blood. It's O- by the way." She was drooling. While she was distracted I got out of her arms and flew to the hole in the magic barrier so I could get my scythes. Before I did she closed it.
"Ah ah ah! No cheating!" She grabbed me and threw me into the ground.
"Ow!" I promised myself I wasn't going to get hurt anymore! I don't think I can hit a girl.
"I'm going to enjoy killing you. You're putting up more of a fight than Tia did."
"Did you kill her?"
"I'm saving her for last. Next I'll kill that hot little redhead you love so much."
"Oh no you don't!" I grabbed her by the hoof and broke it. She screamed when she saw the bone sticking out.
"AAAAHHHH!!! How dare you hurt me! The future ruler! You're suppose to serve us Shadow!"
"In that case." I got in front of her and put both my forearms into her chest. "I quit!" I pulled my arms both left and right separating NM from Luna. She was a large bone horse made out of shadows similar to my Rage mode.
"You quit?" asked Luna on my left holding her head. I went over to her and looked at her hoof. It wasn't broken. It was for Nightmare though.
"I didn't mean it." I told her. I saw Nightmare rolling on the floor holding her hoof in pain. "This time we can kill the Nightmare."
"How dare you! No pony is this powerful!" Nightmare said looking up to me. I stood on two legs and put my right one on the back off her skull.
"I'm not a pony!" I yelled curb stomping her. When her skull shattered she screamed and the rest of her body engulfed in flames. After a minute of burning all that stood was a Black soul with flames emitting from it. I wrapped a paper baggie around it and hung it from my side.
"I don't want to touch it." I told Luna. "Might catch yer crazy." She was extremely happy.
"You did it! You stopped the Nightmare for real! She's not coming back?"
"She might. I'm going to take the soul to Celestia to see... what... I... Oh no! Celestia!" I took off for the castle. I got in the throne room and held the bleeding alicorn in my hooves. "Come on stay with me!" I looked back to see Luna. "Luna get every medic you can! Hurry!" She took off and I put my ear against her chest. She had a small heartbeat but it slowly went away. "No!" I put my hooves on her chest and began CPR. After enough time Dawn woke up.
"Ugh... Dustin? Where is the Nightmare?!"
"I stopped it! Come on Tia!" I stopped pressing on her chest. I cocked her head back and took a deep breath before putting air in her lungs. "*Pffh Pffh* Wake up! *Deep breath.* *Pffh Pffh*"
"*cough cough*" Celestia woke up. She tried to move but I stopped her.
"Breath in and breath out. Take it easy princess. Help is on the way."
"You stopped my sister?"
"Better. I separated the nightmare from her." I held the baggie in front of her. "I got her soul!"
"Luna's?!"
"What? No I sent her to get you some medical aid. This is all that's left of Nightmare Moon. Since we can't destroy her we lock up the soul." I threw it in the metal safe behind a painting of Prince Blueblood. I hate that kid. Why would you want a painting of the smug bastard? "Dawn cast a spell on this safe so nothing gets in or out." He did as was told and put a orange box around the safe. I pulled the painting back down.
"Dustin you saved me again." said Celestia. "How can I make it up to you?"
"You can help with the marriage. It's on Sunday by the way."
"We shall have it *cough cough* here at the castle! It will be a royal wedding."
"If it's not too much to ask. Now get some rest. NM did a good number on ya." She closed her eyes and let sleep cover her like a blanket. So I wrapped my vest around her and stopped the bleeding from the claw wound on her ribs. The wounds were bad but they won't scar. Good.
"Dawn. I need your help." He quickly ran up to me. "Find out as much as you can about Dancing Blade. He's the pony responsible for this."
"Blade? Is he related to Singing?"
"Yes. Brothers. And he wants revenge."
"Alright. I saw how hard it is for you to keep up with the scythes. I have new weapons in production." He handed me a drawing of what he was talking about. "They wrap around your arms like that Stasis module you had. We link it up to your brain waves and when you think it, they deploy two blades on each arm similar to claws."
"These are awesome! And they look easier to conceal than scythes."
"Do we keep the scythes?"
"Yes. I might need them."
"Yay! I mean. Yes sir." He walked away happily. I saw some lipstick on his neck. I sneaked up on him when he was unaware and I smelled it. Yep. Apples.
"Do you like bucking apples?" I asked him.
"It's a good side job. Big Mac is a handful though."
"Hehehe... No Dawn. I mean Bucking Apples. As in Applejack and yo-"
"Oh Celestia! Oh jeez. How do you know this?"
"You left some signs of rough play on your neck." He wiped the mark away and ran into the offices. I grabbed a bucket and made a cement mix. I picked up as many blocks as I could and climbed up some scaffolding where I began to repair the wall.
"Princess!" Yelled a few medical ponies. They picked her up on a stretcher.
"Be careful!" I yelled.
"And why didn't you do anything to help?!" yelled the nurse.
"Hmm. Jeez. I don't know." I went back to fixing the wall. Then they left taking Tia with them and some other ponies ran in.
"So this is were you guys work?" asked Kay. I looked back and saw her with Twilight and Rainbow Dash.
"Just about." I said.
"You going to fix that entire wall by yourself?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Well Celestia is on her way to the hospital. I separated the Nightmare from Luna and hid the soul someplace safe."
"Soul?"
"I killed the Nightmare." They all gasped.
"Without the elements?"
"Yep. All it took was one good stomp to the noggin and POOF!"
"Yeah right." said Rainbow Dash. "Have any proof?" I held my arms out and pointed to the large hole in the ceiling.
"Is this not good enough for you?" I flew to the safe. "Dawn. Field." He lowered it and I reached in pulling out a bag. I opened it and let the soul free.
"How dare you Shadow! You take away the princess's body, you kill me, and you put my soul in a paper bag?!"
"Yep!" I wrapped it back up and put it inside the safe. "Dawn." He put the spell back on it and I pulled the painting down. "Anymore questions?" I asked the ladies who all had their jaws touching the floor.
"Well..." started Rainbow Dash. "Fine you win. Come on ladies let's not hang with Scarred and Deadly over here!"
"Oi!" I yelled at her.
"Let's go!"
"But I have so many more questions!" said Twilight. Rainbow Dash pushed her away. Kay gave me a satisfied look.
"Good job. You saved us all again."
"That I did." I put another brick on the wall.
"Want some help with that?" Well... she is a unicorn.
"I would love that Kay." She climbed up the scaffolding and we began to work in a synchronous pattern. We fixed the entire left side in 12 minutes. We moved to the right and kept on working. After a while I flew up and began to work on the ceiling in which she would send me cement or bricks. We finished quicker than hiring a construction crew.
"Too bad we can't get the windows." said Kay. "They really made this room stand out."
"Your right. We can't fix stained glass windows can we?"
"We can but we don't know what order they go in or in what shape the pieces are."
"Then I guess we have nothing to do." Dawn walked out of the office.
"Guys?! You fixed the room! How!"
"Teamwork!" We put our hooves in the air dramatically.
"Nice. Dustin you did all the files too?"
"I did. Since I had to work yesterday."
"Sorry about that bro." He said scratching the back of his head. Hey... I would take some time off If I was bucking some apples too. If you know what I mean. Those trees won't kick themselves you know!
"No problem. I'm taking a break. Be back tonight for work."
"Alright. Bye Shadow." He said as Kay and I walked out the door.
"Kay... We are going to have our wedding here at the castle on Sunday. How does that sound?"
"That is amazing! How did you do that?!"
"Celestia owes me since I saved her life today. She said we should have it here."
"Great! I need to get my dress ready!" She took off running.
"Right! I need... a suit... oh my god I don't have one. Where's Rarity when you need her?" I looked around and saw the unicorn drinking a cup of tea. I ran up to her.
"Rarity! I need you assistance!"
"And how may I help you today, Shadow?"
"I want you to make me a suit for my wedding."
"You want me to make it? *Gasp* Oh boy! Thank you!"
"Kay needs help as well." I winked at her. She new why I was talking to Rarity. I know because she got away from a wedding store that was right in front of her. "Since we are having it at the castle I can't just go in my work suit. Can I?"
"Oh my! This is going to be big! Does this mean I'm invited?"
"Of course! Your a friend after all."
"And after everything we did to you... You still trust us as friends."
"Yeah! I've been through worse. Like this one time I was on this game show called 'Total Blackout.' I was chased around by big thugs with Night vision goggles and I ate bugs. I also was tied to a rope and flung across the room a few times."
"That sounds awful!"
"It was fun though. Anyways... yes! You are my friend." She jumped up and gave me a surprise hug. I lightly patted her on the back. "There there."
"Where is Kay? I must talk to her about this!" She took off in a dust storm leaving me to eat her dust.
"What have I done?" I said to myself watching the excited fashion expert hunt down my to-be wife. Then a waiter walked up.
"May I get you a coffee while you wait sir?"
"Huh? Oh yes! Black, two sugars and creamer please." He gave me a seat and took off. "Hmm... I need to stop this Dancing Blade before he ruins my big day." The waiter came back out giving me my coffee. "Oh thank you good sir!" I took it and began to sip. He just waited there holding his hoof out.
"What?" I asked him. "Oh... Here is a 20 bit tip. Will that do?" I don't know how much to give him.
"Thanks a lot good sir! You are most generous!" I looked around and saw a rich family give a waiter 1 bit. Did I give him too much? I don't feel like I did. He was a good waiter after all. *sip* and he got my coffee just right!
This is going to be the chapter when Dustin gets his true powers. Prepare for wicked awesomeness!
I finished my coffee and realized I was daydreaming. When I got a good sense of my surroundings I noticed time was slowing down again. Then the hooded pony with bat wings made his way to me.
"You have ruined my plans!"
"I warned you to bugger off."
"Now you are forcing my hoof. I won't be able to kill you but I know what will destroy you from the inside." He teleported. How did he do that? He's a pegasus! What can he do?
Kay's POV
I was with all the girls getting a dress made. I felt sick in someway though.
"I was just thinking that. I feel like something's about to go wrong."
"And who would want to ruin your wedding?" asked Rarity.
"Hahaha! I would!" We all turned to see a large pegasus with bat wings flying in the air. "Kay. Come with me." He levitated me in the air and held my in one arm. He used a shadow like spell to put the girls in a sleep. "I need you Kay to kill your husband."
Dustin's POV
I had this bad feeling in my gut. Like I need to throw up. This only happens when someone I know is about to die. Don't tell me that maniac went after...
"Hahaha! Now you will listen to me Shadow!" I turned around to see him holding Kay hostage. "I must kill you. Don't you know that?"
"Okay just let her go!"
"Oh I can't do that!" Why would you do this?
"Can I not just get a week of peace?"
"Nope." He levitated me in the air. "Since Celestia can't help you. No one will." The rest of my friends came out and he quickly put them to sleep. "You see. You two are Time Lords."
"No. We aren't."
"You created this universe and got summoned her. Don't you know human life is going on without you making history."
"How do you know all of this?"
"Because My master told me this!" He put us both on the ground and summoned a sword which he just kept swinging around. "He said that I have to kill you!"
"Who is this master?" I know he's about to do something. He held the sword in front of me like a bow.
"I'll won't tell you." He shot it at me. Time slowed down. I couldn't hear a sound except for one distinctive noise. It was like someone was getting impaled. In that half a second.... I learned that I have something to do with time and I also lost my wife.
"No!" I screamed seeing the pony in front of me fall. She was coughing blood but still alive. But not for long.
"Don't worry Dustin!" said Dancing Blade. "When she dies she'll be returned to Earth and with you hear it's going to be like she never went in a coma. Like you never existed."
"That's just wrong! Why would you do this?!" I couldn't hold my tears. I didn't want to. Kay grabbed my by the neck and pulled me in.
"I guess we aren't allowed to be together love."
"No... Don't say that!" All my friends woke up and ran to my side. "Stay with me! Please! I need you!"
"I can't. Listen Dusty you stay here and be the hero you were born to be." She reached into her pocket and handed me a silver locket. It was a present from a few years back on our first date. "Light our darkest hour." She said dieing in my arms.
"*sniff* NNNNOOOOO!!! No no nooo..." I cried into her chest. I took the locket and when I did it glowed a light white color. Then her body turned into dust and disappeared. The wind carried her off into time.
"Hahaha! That was better than I hoped for!" Yelled Dancing Blade jumping up and clicking his back heels together. "Oh what's wrong Dustin. 'K'at got you tongue! Get it! With a K like Kay!" I gave him a cold dead stare. I stood up and put the necklace on. Then a song played that my friends and I know too well.
Play 'Touch' by Stan Bush. It was the song from the old cartoon transformers movie.
"Gah!" yelled Blade covering his ears. "What is that noise?"
"That's the song of your death!" I pulled out a headset. "Dawn. Scythes."
"But Dustin! Kay! She's... she's.."
"Dawn! NOW!" He did as was told and my two scythes appeared in my hands. "You just had to do it didn't you Blade. I was about to get married. She had a baby on the way. My baby!"
"I-I I killed a-a ..."
"An Infant!" I yelled. I jumped in the air and brought my right scythe down cutting off his left wing. Before he could scream I turned and cut off the other one with my other scythe. Then I stuck both of them in the ground and lifted myself up giving him a double kick to the eye sending blood everywhere.
"AAAAAHHHHH!" he cried.
"You acted so cold and evil just a minute ago. What's wrong Blade?!" I grabbed his face and put it on my scythe blade dragging him back and forth on it leaving a large cut. "You just killed the woman I love! I killed your brother in self defense. You murdered my wife and child."
"You were suppose to die! Please don't kill me!"
"I was suppose to die but she died instead!" The locket around me glowed some more. "You have taken away the last thing I had left and for that I will kill you!" I took my blades and cut off his one of his front hooves.
"AAAAAHHHHH! Why!" He began to crawl away.
"Why do you think!" I saw him pick up a pipe that was cut and sharpened due to collateral damage I did. But before I could stop him Rainbow Dash jumped on his back.
"Oh no you don't!" she yelled trying to hold him down. He grabbed her as hostage and slammed the pipe into my chest piercing my body.
"Fall. Fall!" he screamed as I took a few steps back dropping my blades. The Kevlar vest took most of the blow but I felt it pierce a rib. "I want to hear you scream before you die Shadow." he said throwing Rainbow into my group of friends.
I turned my back and let him get close. I took in a few deep breaths and put my front hooves together. When he got close enough I gave him an extremely deadly uppercut. I felt his neck snap. "Never!" I yelled sending his body in to the building. I looked down and pulled the pipe out and looked at the locket. It was hit but didn't show any scratches at all. Not one.
"Dustin! Dustin!" yelled my friends coming to help me. They all got me on my feet and I went to the remaining bit of dust from Kay's body.
"Twilight. Cast a viewing window spell." She did as was told and made a large TV screen/ portal open up. I threw the dust in it. "Portal. Show me Kay Kronor current date."
"Acknowledged." said the portal in a computer voice. We all saw a human Kay on a date in France similar to mine but instead of me was my brother. "Kay Shafer detected. Married to Cody Shafer. All memories of Dustin Shafer have been erased."
"I see." I wiped a tear. "How is her life?"
"They are a rich and happy family. 3 kids. Big house. A dog."
"Then she really has changed. Kay likes cats." I told it.
"Did. She's different now." The portal closed and I sat on my back legs to hold my head in my hooves.
"Dustin I am so sorry." said Rainbow Dash.
"Don't be. You tried to help and I thank you for it. So would Kay." Static came up and put a hoof on my back.
"It's going to be okay buddy."
"No it's not! I was about to be married and that fucker had to go and ruin it! Everything I had is gone! I was going to be a dad god dammit!"
"I know." He used his magic to pull out a cigarette.
"You know me so well." I said biting it out of the air. He lit it up and I enjoyed the taste in my mouth. "So now what."
"You live." said Twilight. "You taught me never to give up. Why are you now?"
"Because Kay-"
"Kay died for you!" yelled Twilight. She was right. "Your just going to sit around and let yourself die because she knew you would do good in the future!"
"Your right Twilight." I opened the locket around my neck. Their was a picture of her in it and a folded up picture. Twilight took it and opened it up with her magic. It was an old yellow picture that aged.
"What is it?" asked Twilight holding it up for all to see.
"It's me and her. Theirs Kelly. Brandon. Lucas. and Nathan. I met him before I came here. Lost a lot of weight." Static, Forest, Sky, and Blaze all laughed.
"He was a bit chubby wasn't he?" asked Sky.
"A bit?!" asked Blaze. I laughed a little at that. Then a wounded Celestia walked up behind me.
"So it's over?" she asked me.
"Maybe." I went to the building and pulled out Blade's head. "Yep!"
"I am so sorry Dustin."
"I know. I'm not even Dustin anymore. Now I'm Shadow." I wiped another tear away.
"We could have avoided this."
"No we couldn't have. Time doesn't work like that Tia." I said standing back up. On the other side of the inside of the locket was a clock. "For example. Kay just died but now she's having a better life married to my brother. If I died then nothing would happen."
"But how does that work?"
"I don't know how to explain it. So I just won't. Dancing Blade mention a master before he killed her."
"He's working for someone?"
"That's what I heard."
"Are you sure your okay?" asked Pinkie Pie. "Your awfully calm even though Kay just died and got sent to a better life without you."
"Thanks Pinkie. Thanks a lot. I'm going for a walk. I need to clear my head. Cry some more. Get drunk." I put out my smoke and walked down the road. "Be back for dinner!"
2 minutes later
So that's it? I'm just going to think in my head now?
'I'm sorry.' said a voice in my head. 'I know you want to die but it was my choice.'
'Kay?' I asked her.
'What's left of me. Listen Dustin. I'm so sorry that I did this to you. Now out of all times to boot. How long were we together? 5 years?'
'Yeah sweetie. I saw your new life. Your going to love it so much more than this one.'
'Oh really?'
'Yes really.'
'Then thanks for everything. I love you. I have always loved yooouuu...' The voice disappeared and I was left to think to myself. So now love is gone. I will just be forced to treat this like any other fall.
"OH..." it started raining. "That's just lovely." I held the locket in my hoof. "All I have is you. Now I'm treating inanimate objects like people. Fantastic!"
3 hours later
I made my way home. I was soaking wet. I had a bruise on my chest. My vest was tattered so I threw it away. At least I have Kay's Locket. It feels warm close to my chest. That's always a weird sign that it has too much sentimental value. I opened the door to see the kids crying and everyone quiet.
"Yes?" I asked them. "I'm fine if your all wandering."
"So no wedding?" asked Silver Sage before covering her mouth and staring at me. I walked over to her and put my hoof on her head comforting the child.
"No Sage. Their won't be a wedding for me." I looked at Static and mouthed 'What did you tell them?' He looked at me and mouthed. 'I said she had to leave and wont ever come back.' I nodded and looked at the kids. "You see kids. Kay had to go and visit family. They don't want her coming back here because she needs to go and *murmer*" I gave them a smile.
"I know when somepony dies." said Terra. "She's gone isn't she?" I closed my mouth and looked around me taking in a deep breath.
"She's gone." I felt him give me a hug. Then everyone else came in for a hug.
"Hey Mr. Shadow." said Surprise. "I read in a story that every hero loses someone important and that makes him stronger. Will you get stronger?"
"Your damn right kid! I'm going to find this 'Master' and teach him what it's like to fuck with us. Human style! Twilight sound the battle cry!"
"What are you talking about?" I went outside. As soon as I did it stopped raining.
"This man had a plan. You see he wanted Tia and Luna out of the picture to start his dark empire. Their is only one person who wanted the princesses dead." They all looked at me and I pointed to the Griffon Mountain. "Bloodmane! He's the bastard responsible. Tomaro I will kill him then I will come back here and have some fun with my friends because you guys are all I have left." The moon pierced the clouds and shinned on me. I took in it's warmth and held my hoof up.
"What is it?" asked Static.
"I learned I can use magic while not being a unicorn. Watch!" I clapped my hooves together and turned invisible. Then when I turned back I jumped into a shadow and came out a shadow on the other side of the street. "I can also teleport to any shadow in the world!"
"But how?! That's not possible!" yelled Twilight.
"Because Twilight when you're as dumb as me then anything is possible! Tomaro I shall save the land again. And this time no more ponies will die."
It is now official that Dustin or Shadow's sanity might be at stake but he realized that he can do just about anything.
Bloodmane's POV
I was sitting in my throne laughing. I knew that the second Blade brother wouldn't fail me.
"Your Highness!" cried one of my subjects running into the room. The tired Griffon could hardly catch his breath.
"What is it? Take your time and tell me what's wrong." I said trying to sound like a good ruler.
"Dancing Blade is dead. He murdered Shadow's wife."
"Oh no..."
"Oh no is right my lord! Here's the worst part. He knows it was you." I looked out a window to see the moon shinning on a pony standing out on a mountain top.
"Uh oh."
Shadow's POV
'I am so going to enjoy this.' I said in my head. I opened my wings and released the Rage mode from before. When I go in their I need to make sure I kill everyone that I want to kill. Only the ones involved. I don't want to cause a whole Deus Ex Machina event where the plot revolves around this one impossible problem that I end up stopping with an unlikely last minute event. No more of that.
"Hey Bloodmane!" I yelled. "I just want you to know that I have always loved you!"
"Really!" he yelled from his window.
"Gotcha!" I said in my best Celestia impersonation. Alright. Here goes. No more screwing around. Time to fly. I spread my wings out and jumped.
Meanwhile below
"Ms. Cheerilee." said Big Macintosh holding out a ring. "Will you marry me?"
"OH Yes! Yes I will!" They hugged then a griffon came out.
"Ponies aren't allowed her. Now I get to eat." He said looking at them. 3... 2... 'WWWEEEEEE!' They all heard. Then I landed on the griffon from above and crushed every bone in his body. I looked up at the two.
"Hello Cheerilee. Big Mac." I said.
"Hello Shadow." They both said. "We heard what happened. Are you okay?" They asked me. I showed them my face. I looked a lot like Twilight in 'Lesson Zero.' My ear twitched and my dilated eyes went crossways.
"Never better!" I said creepily before jumping into a shadow and appearing inside the town. I pulled my hood up and put on my goggles. I then contacted Watcher Dawn. "Dawn. Send me my new toys."
"I'm on it." I held my hooves out and two circlets appeared on my arm. The one on my left was in the way of my engagement bracelet which I forgot to take off so I ripped it off in rage. My hair was black and leaking shadows like ink blots in water from an octopus. "Now they should be linked to your brain pattern... now. Just think open and you will activate the blades."
"Alright." Uh... open oh strange blades. They did open showing 3 blades each going down my arm. They were like claws but you can't bend them and they are much more deadly. I wanted to make a lot of noise so I stabbed them in the wall of the tower and started climbing up. *CHINK* *CHINK* *CHINK*
In the tower
"Do you hear that sir?" asked one of the butlers. Everyone was listening to the CHINK noises made by yours truly. I got to the window and stopped making noise so everyone could go to the window. I took my mask off as well.
"Is a-anybody there?" asked the Prince.
"Nope!" I said while in the potted plant behind him. I took the plant off my head and walked to him with my creepy smile and continued to twitch.
"Shadow! You look terrible!"
"And you look great!" I twitched my head again. As my ear flapped I gave everyone a look with my crossways eyes like a chameleon. "Your going to look better when I rip off your fur and make a coat out of it. I think Kay might agree." I pulled out a griffon skull. "Yes I would agree Dustin. You should make me a coat..." I said in a fake accent and threw the skull. "Of course baby! I would do anything for you since your still alive HAHAHA!" I was the only one laughing.
"Your a looney." said one of the guest. I stopped laughing and gave him a dead stare. I got behind him before he could blink and sliced his head off.
"Stop this madness! None of this was suppose to happen Shadow! Please take mercy!" I held my arms up waited for his guards to come to me. Before they could grab me I summoned my blades and stabbed them both and killing them instantly.
"No can do. I have direct orders from Celestia herself to kill you." I walked over to him and held my hoof in the air. "This is for Kay and everyone else you killed you BITCH!" I yelled before cutting his head off. The other griffons got on the ground and began to pray me.
"Thank you for saving us brave Shadow!" said one of the butlers.
"Wait, you guys didn't ask to be here?" I stopped with the creepy look. It was starting to hurt.
"No. We were forced. Enslaved. Will you spare us?"
"Get out of here. I have no quarrel with you." I said to them. I then went to the comm system. Apparently every griffon was under control of this asshole. "Attention everyone! This is your favorite pony hero Shadow speaking. You are all free of the tyrant Bloodmane!" I could hear everyone cheer outside. It appears I have saved many lives today. At the cost of a few guards, and... Kay. But she's happier now with my brother. As much as I would want to complain I just don't care anymore. I lit up one of my last two cigarettes.
"Shadow. You did it." said Celestia, Luna, and Dawn teleporting in front of me.
"Aye. That I did." I sat down on the throne and just accepted everything that was happening.
"I understand what you're feeling Dustin. Both Luna and I felt lost when we lost our parents."
"Sorry to hear that."
"So are we but now isn't the time to be stuck in the past Shadow." Why can't they just stick to one name?
"This isn't the end! Tis only the beginning! Let's rejoice! Kay's sacrifice and all the others who died for this pointless cause will be remembered."
"Then we shall erect a monument in town. For ponies to see for centuries."
"I would like that very much." Dawn teleported us all to Canterlot. He then came to talk to me.
"Are you sure that your okay?" he asked worried.
"No. I'm not. But... I'll get over it."
"I kept count. You have one smoke left right?"
"I'm saving it for when another friend dies or I die."
"Let's hope its neither for a long time." We went outside of the castle doors and every pony withing miles was outside cheering for me. They only said "Shadow! Whoo!" or "Have my baby!" of course too soon. I then saw they had a party set up so I waited for them all to hush.
"Let's get this party started right!" I popped a bottle of champagne and sprayed it on most of them. I saw the party begin and I felt the stress of relief disappear from my shoulders. I then had a thought.
"Hey Celestia?"
"Yes Shadow."
"Since all of these guys were connected. Isn't that like a conspiracy or something like that which we should right down about."
"Yes! So it was all just one big organized crime?" asked Celestia.
"So this was just one case!" I told her. "How many more are like that?!"
"I wish I could tell you but you were right. This is only the beginning Shadow the hero." Alright. She hasn't said Dustin in a awhile. Shadow it is!
This is the end of Act 1. I have several more planned out. I know their was a tragedy last chapter but it all worked out. Except for Shadow. He kind of got stronger so theirs that!
Shadow is now more... committed to being a pony. I have this great story series planned out for him.
"So let me get this straight..." I said to Dawn. "We have nothing to do."
"Just about." I went to scratching my stubble
"So two months ago I stopped an evil conspiracy. Wouldn't that spark up our jobs?"
"I was thinking that. Guess not that many people have been fighting or disturbing the public."
"What the fuck!" I kicked the desk in front of me. "I am so bored!" I ruffled my now medium shaggy hair. I changed my appearance to look more like I don't care. "I got it! We need a plan!" I told him.
"Oh great... Shadow's the man with the master plan!"
"Shh! I'm thinking! How about we offer advice for people."
"What kind of advice?"
"I don't know! Dating or Health something like that."
"Now your sounding desperate. Just wait I'm sure Celestia has something for us to do."
"Oh I'm sure." Then she walks in. "Speaking of the queen. Howdy Tia." I said.
"I have an assignment for you two. It appears that someone stole the daughter of Sundance." Oh not this shit! I won't let her die this time! "We want to know who did it and for what purpose."
"I'm on it!" Dawn and I both said saluting her.
"At ease gentlemen. I need to speak to Shadow alone."
"Of course." she and I both left.
"Shadow I read your mind. I know that in the past I gave you that fake memory of her dieing. I'm sure you don't want that to happen do you?"
"Of course not princess."
"I have another non related question for you. Did you ever get over Kay?"
"I think I did about 7 weeks ago. Why?"
"Just checking on you." Great. Now I have 'The' Princess hitting on me. Luna doesn't even get that much respect anymore. It's always Celestia. "Oh I was told by twilight to give you this." She handed me a white scroll and I opened it.
"Blah blah blah you are invited blah blah blah Shinning Armor blah blah blah another princess blah blah You are invited to attend this Royal Wedding Shadow. It would mean a lot to me and my brother signed Twilight Sparkle." I gave Celestia a blank stare and thought to myself for a minute. "When did Twilight have a brother?"
"For ever." said Celestia.
"She never told me about this?!"
"Your getting worked up over it."
"For Static's sake! I am still part him you know."
"I know. You'd make a good husband." Now to get White Tulip... What?
"What was that?"
"Oh nothing. Just thinking out loud again. Okay so long bye!" She disappeared. Probably to speak to Twilight.
"No I'm serious what did you say?" I yelled at the disappearing light. Something about a good mail man? I will never deliver mail again. Not since the Static Express thing. Asshole.
"Are you ready?" asked Dawn handing me a green camouflaged suit made of grass. He put it on me and pulled the hood up. He then handed me my goggles and a camera. "Alright the Camera will send photos straight to Celestia and I." I grabbed my binoculars. "That's what the camera is for Shadow. You don't need any sights beside it."
"I don't want to take an accidental picture. I'm taking these so I can safely scope out the area."
"*sigh* Fine. Do what you must. Remember find out who took her and why. If you can then get her. We need Sundance."
"Understood! Teleport when ready!"
"Wait I have a question."
"What is it?"
"Well two months ago how did you know Bloodmane was responsible?"
"You bring this up now?"
"Don't want to make a mistake Shadow."
"Well first he let Singing Blade in to kill me. Then he sent Dancing over here, hit a lady, summoned Nightmare, and was hellbent on killing us all. Anymore questions?"
"No." He said while teleporting me. I haven't seen much of Dawn for a week. Something about Apples... Oh... Ew... These are very pretty trees by the way. Look at me. Changing the subject in my own head. I need to get back into dating.
"Shadow. Come in."
"This is him. How may I help you today?"
"Classy. Get to the bay. She was kidnapped around the boats."
"What's a kid doing around boats anyways?"
"Beats me."
"I'll find out. Which way?"
"North which is on your left." I went left and through the trees and stopped at the edge of the cliff. I held the camera and took pictures of the boat, some ponies, and a large man at the top of the hill in a cave. He was a big built pony and had a cage behind him with a teenage white unicorn inside with a flower in her hair. There she is!
"Dawn. I found the target."
"Don't go after her unless you have a clear shot."
"Yes mum." I took more pictures. Then I watched as a messenger came up.
"Shadow. Activate the directional microphone on the camera." I pushed the button and listened.
'So your telling me that the Princess has a negotiation planned?' said the Leader.
'Yes sir.' said the scroungy messenger.
'She didn't send her spy or put a target on my head?'
'Not that we know of sir.'
'Good. Last thing I want is her blue-eyed dog hunting me down.' They parted ways.
"What does that mean Dawn?"
"It might be an insult. Or fear most likely."
"What do my eyes have to do with anything?"
"They're full of life." said Celestia on the com. "Can you save the child?"
"I will try. Wish me luck." I jumped into a tree shadow and appeared in the cave. God I love that power. I went to the cage and whispered to the kid. "Shh. Listen to me White Tulip. I'm going to get you out of here?"
"Did my mom send you?" she asked me. I didn't get a good look at her in that memory ordeal. She had green eyes like... Kay. Get her out of your head!
"Yes. So did Celestia." I stomped the lock and broke it. "Let's go." I grabbed her.
"How can we get out?" she whispered. I grabbed her and jumped in the shadow taking her with me to Canterlot. "How did we do that?!"
"I'm magic. They call me Shadow."
"Your the hero! I'm honored to be in your arms." Now she's hitting on me.
"Don't flirt with me kid. I'm out of your age group."
"I-I Wasn't Flirting!"
"Hahaha! Of course you weren't." She got out of my arms and we walked to the castle. "Mom!" she cried running into the yellow arms of a tall unicorn. Sundance.
"Hiya Sunny D!" I said.
"Don't do that ever again." she warned me.
"Hahaha..."
"Thank you for getting my child out safely." She had tears. "You'd make a good dad." My smile quickly vanished.
"Glad you think that."
"Did I hit a nerve?"
"Oh yes."
"Sorry. So Celestia. This is Shadow our hero."
"He is the one and only." said Celestia. When I wasn't looking Celestia mouthed 'He's mine.' to her. Sundance said out loud 'I'm Married!' They both laughed.
"Oh not like that." said Celestia. I don't want to know what they are talking about and I don't want to. I went into the office and took off the ghillie suit and kicked back in my office chair on wheels. I closed my eyes for a minute and opened them to see Dawn slam about 30 folders on my desk.
"Read these." he told me.
"What for?"
"They are about you dude."
"Aw... I just can't sleep huh?" I grabbed the one on top. "Shadow is the best. Dawn that's all it says."
"I know. Look at the next one." I grabbed it. "Shadow is the coolest. So I have a fan?"
"They were full of documents. Your fan sabotaged us."
"The only people allowed in here is you, me, the princesses, and that..." I saw the secretary from the counter up front running "... secretary..." We both ran out.
"Where are you two running off to?" asked Celestia. We jumped downstairs and went around the corner. We got to the desk and saw that she was gone.
"So you gave her access to our office?" I asked him.
"I must have."
"She's the inside mole. Inform the princess." I grabbed some rope. "I got an animal to hunt." I flew out the window and followed the pony. "Got you now!" I tackled her and wrestled her on the ground.
"Get off me freak!" she cried. I looked at her face and saw it was a different pony. No glasses. I looked to my right and saw her smiling and taking her glasses off and standing beside the large pony from earlier that kidnapped Tulip. I looked down and saw the brown pony I was on top of dissolve into a metal skeleton. Like a robot.
"Shit!" Ow that shit burns! Like Spitter goo!
"See you soon Shadow!" yelled the big pony. I heard beeping. The robot is beeping. Why is it beeping? Should it be beeping? *KABOOM* I was sent flying back and hit my back on a bench. "Oof!" I felt my body go down. I just stayed on my back until I could get up. When I did I was still disoriented. I couldn't hear anything and I felt my hoof broken. I looked down at my left hoof and popped back into place before sitting down on the bench to take a breather. Should have run when I heard beeping.
"Dustin!" yelled a female voice from behind. The only woman who still calls me that is Twilight. I turned and saw the purple pony who was teary eyed and helping me. I got my hearing back.
"Twilight what's wrong?" I asked her.
"You almost died!"
"Ah! But I didn't!" I felt another pony come up to me. I looked down to see Silver Sage a little bit bigger. "Oh you grew!"
"Yeah. We know." she said. "You tole me that yesterday at the house."
"Yes but I never admired it."
"You did. Yesterday."
"Alright then kid. If you say so." I got up and began to shake my head. "Twilight I need you to help me find out who made this robot." I walked over to it and it was just one little piece of metal in a black smolder on the ground. "Never mind. It's destroyed."
"At least your okay."
"Teleport me to the castle. Get Sage home. Be careful. These new enemies are here to play."
"I don't understand Dustin. Your not making any sense."
"Just teleport me." She did as was told and I made my way to the throne room. "She got away." I told Dawn.
"Damn. You okay?"
"No. Robot blew up in my face. They were using decoys to infiltrate and they were spying on us while we were spying on them."
"That's a good plan. Is their anything left to the robot we can trace?" He asked me.
"Sorry Dawn. They knew we would trace it so they destroyed everything in it. Except one little piece of scrap metal." I handed it to him. "Think you can trace it?"
"I can trace the explosive residue. Then find the shipping records." We both heard an 'Oh Shit!' outside. We poked our heads out a window and right below us against the wall was the secretary who gave us as sheepish smile. I grabbed her and pulled her up.
"You a robot or the real deal?" I asked while drawing out one of my claw blades.
"Real deal."
"Got careless or did you want us to find you."
"Well aren't you two smart. Tracing the residue. Didn't think about that." She had a smirk on her face. I saw her reach her hoof back and I smacked it. "Ow." I pulled the tracking beacon from her pocket. "Dawn. Catch." I tossed it to the man and he began examining it.
"So you come here hoping to plant this on one of us huh?"
"You two aren't shabby at all. Now I know why the princess hired you and constantly hits on you Shadow. Your clever."
"Aw... I appreciate that and... what?"
"*giggle* nothing." I smacked her on the back of the head. "Ow. What?"
"Tell me why you are spying on us."
"We want to test you Shadow."
"Really? Test me! I'm not in the mood to kill."
"We know. Since your precious little Kay died." I gave her a hard hit. "OW! That hurt!"
"Don't make me hurt you for real. Tell me your plans. Whose the bigger guy? Why did he kidnap White Tulip?"
"I don't answer to you!" She spitted at me.
"Guards! Take her to the Dungeon now!" I yelled. When I yell they know I'm serious. "Do whatever it takes to make her talk." I told them. They nodded and carried her off.
"How did you get her?" asked Celestia.
"She was spying on us. I think she's up to something."
"Get some rest Shadow. You need it. You as well Dawn. Applejack is worried sick."
"Thanks princess." he said teleporting. Guess he has a date.
"Yes, ma'am." I told her.
"Wait Shadow..." she was trying to say something.
"Yes?"
"... nothing. Get some rest."
"Alright." I began my flight for home. Since when did Celestia find me attractive? Her and... that... oh sweet big flank! *smack* snap out of it! Ow I just hit myself. I landed home and opened the door to see Static panicking.
"Where the hell where you?!" He yelled along with Forest, Sky, and everyone else.
"Work. What's up?"
"Just worried." said Pinkie Pie. She was calm. "You almost died again."
"But I didn't."
"What's going on Dustin?" asked Static. "Why can't you just settle the fuck down?"
"It's not my call. We had a spy infiltrate us and I just now caught her."
"And the explosion?"
"It was a robot they set up to kill me."
"Who is they?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"That's what we need to find out." I told her.
"Well..." started Rarity "Isn't Shadow the man with the master plan."
"Someone made that joke earlier R." I said. I saw Dream Weaver come out of the bathroom. He took a seat beside Rarity and was still shaking. Bet I know why. "Hey Dream. I saved your little sister today."
"What?! You did! Oh thank you Shadow!" He gave me a large hug. "But at what cost?"
"Well I almost died and I found out that Celestia has mixed feeling towards me."
"What kind of mixed feelings?" asked Twilight "Hate? Anger? I've never seen her truly mad."
"The exact opposite. She's definitely not hating me. *Yawn* I'm tired. Need to rest."
"You didn't eat dinner!" yelled Forest.
"I'll eat it for breakfast." I told him. Fluttershy wrapped up my plate and put it in the fridge. I went into my room. It was all clean. All I had to remember Kay by was her locket and a picture. That's it. I have also been watching her through Shadow portals. She was very happy. Very healthy. She was living with my brother and they were in a mansion. Look at that. She got her dream of living big and without me to boot! How am I suppose to ruin it now?
"What are you doing?" asked Twilight who came into my room and closed the door behind her.
"Just seeing how she's doing."
"Did you get over her?"
"Of course I did. She's married to my asshole brother and happier there. That's enough to tell me to stop."
"What would you do if you could see her know?"
"I would smack the living hell out of her for fucking my brother."
"Seriously?"
"I'd say congrats. Good job on the family and all."
"That's what I thought. So my teacher is hitting on you?"
"Am I the only one who does find that odd?"
"How is it odd? You saved her a few times and everyone here."
"I guess. Isn't she like too old?"
"No. She's immortal."
"And I'm not." Twilight was quiet after that. "Awkward." I told her.
"Hahaha... yeah. Give her a try." she told me.
"I'll think about it. I'm just not ready for another relationship you know." She got up and headed for the door. "Goodnight."
"Night Dustin. Good luck tomaro." she said closing the door. I need to get some rest.
Well I'm happy. Back in school and everything! Isn't life just grand? Also HOTDIGGETYDEMON just put up his next animation dubbed MAGIC.MOV. You should check it out. Great stuff man! ~ Static
I was in my dream standing on a rooftop shooting zombies with a sniper rifle with Cody.
"Hey Dustin. 50 points if you hit Burt Reynolds."
"You know I can't shoot him! That's like telling you to shoot Jeff Bridges." I argued with him.
"That's a low blow. Where is he?"
"On that roof with Zombie John Goodman." I told him.
"I can't shoot him."
"I can." I pulled my rifle up and blew up Jeff's brains.
"Bastard!" He yelled trying to push me off the roof. I moved to the side and watched him fall into a crowd of zombies and get eaten.
"That's for taking my wife!" I yelled. Then behind me was a woman with red hair and green eyes. "Kay?"
"You killed him Dustin. Much like you killed me."
"I didn't kill him. I didn't kill you either. He walked right on off." I said watching my brother get torn apart.
"I hate you Dustin!" She yelled before disappearing.
"Good. Now I can move on." I said waking up. I looked around and noticed I was in my room. I looked around and noticed that everything was fine. I looked at my alarm clock. It said 5:59 before going off at 6. I hit the snooze button and got up. After a few neck pops and stretches I changed into my new suit that Dawn had made for me. It was a black and grey suit built for maneuverability and stealth. It had a purple under suit attached to it. He even gave me a purple scarf to go. I liked it either way. This was my favorite part of the new suit. No goggles. It had a helmet built inside it which folded over my head. There was a black visor built underneath to hide my appearance and act as sunglasses. It had all the visions of my goggles and more than it actually.
"Shadow?" asked Rarity as she came in. "What a unique design. I am loving the add of purple."
"Thank you kindly."
"It really looks good with the darker colors." She walked to my helmet. "And such advanced beauty!" I pushed a button and the helmet refolded into my suit's chest piece and back piece.
"Once again thank you." We walked out of the room. "So why are you here?"
"I came to wish you the best of luck darling. I want you to find these troublemakers and stop them before they hurt my fashions!" Is that all she cares about? Fashion? "Also I came to drop of a few things. Are you alright?"
"What do you mean?"
"Since you sleep by yourself now. It's been two months and you haven't really been the same."
"I know. She just meant so much to me. At least she's happier now."
"Don't say that. I know it's killing you."
"It is. I'm getting over it at least." She gave me a wink when I left the door. I don't need anybody's pity right now. I need to get this situation figured out. A spy wanted to get captured. We took her tracking device and locked her in the dungeon. Then the big guy from earlier was their. He didn't kill me. If he was the boss then he would have done it. No. Someone's leading them. But who?
"Where are you going? Are you going to kill?!" asked Rainbow Dash from the cloud above me.
"Sorry Dash. But that might happen. Just wearing my new battle suit is all." I told her. She let out a sigh and moved her cloud to a quieter place. I saw her go to a hill and then fly behind a tree. Odd. Wait I need to think... Twilight didn't great me this morning. I looked at the tree and saw a dark purple tail with a pink highlight flick out. Yep. They want to watch. Good. I want them to watch actually.
"Hey Buddy. You coming to work?" I heard in my ear via headset.
"Give me a second. Beam me up Scotty." I told him before he sent me to the office.
"Who is Scotty?"
"It's a human joke."
"I see." He sat down and looked at a file. "Let's see... We need to talk to our friend." I took off the suit and switched to my blue shirt and apron combo.
"Let's see her." We went down their putting on mask and goggles. We got to the door and saw the pony against the wall. The worst thing the guards did was use a whip on her a few times. "Let's see here. Your not our secretary by the name of Shinning Counter. It says here you are really Charm Cutter. Let me guess. You use your charm to infiltrate and then kill right?"
"Buck you!" she yelled spitting on my face. "I would rather die than tell you my reasons."
"That can be arranged Mrs. Cutter. Who is the big guy with you at all times."
"He's my... bodyguard."
"He didn't wink at you like a bodyguard." I pulled her hoof from the chain and pulled a bracelet from her shirt. "Not a bodyguard at all." She spitted at me and I gave her a backhand smack.
"How dare you hit me!"
"I can do whatever I want to you. Your an enemy of the state now. Who is he?"
"He's Charging Tank." That does not sound good. Then again that's years of Left 4 dead abuse in my head telling me that.
"And what does he do?"
"He's the strongest soldier in this land. Not even you and your weird powers can stop him."
"I don't want to stop him I want answers!" I yelled grabbing a drill. "Tell me your orders."
"Never!" I put the drill on her eyelid and bared my teeth.
"Tell me or I pop your pretty little eye."
"Okay! I'll tell you. I was sent here to be captured. But you took the transmitter before I could plant it on Celestia."
"And why do you want her?" asked Dawn dropping his good cop routine which surprised me.
"I don't need to tell you that." He grabbed the large hedge trimmers that had the blade removed and put it on her back left hoof.
"Tell us!" He yelled.
"N-no. I can't." He closed it slowly breaking her hoof in every possible place and so she could feel every bit of pain.
"AAAAHHHH! Stop! Please!" I saw the tears drop from her eyes. Looks like we broke her. "We work for a pony that wants control of this land and needs her out of the way! That's all I know! I swear!" He dropped the trimmers and wrapped her hoof.
"We didn't have much time." he told me. "Sorry If I lost my cool."
"It's cool. Now Cutter. Who do you work for?"
"You should know him Shadow. Or should I say Dustin? After all you did save him."
"That only leaves... Zephyr. The doctor?!"
"Yes. He's on his way and he knows how to stop you." She said before I lost my cool and punched her knocking her out.
"Dawn. Erase her memory. Dump her on the street."
"How much do I make her forget?"
"The past 48 hours will be good. Also put some alcohol in her system. She'll wake up drunk and think she broker her hoof."
"Good plan."
"I thought so." We walked up changing back into our original outfits. Celestia walked in and gave us all a scared look.
"Gentlemen! I need your help!" She said in a hurry. We both stood up and speed walked down the hall with her. "It appears that while we were occupied they organized a plan to kidnap someone else! My sister!" she said in tears when we got to the throne room. "I traced Luna with magic. I need you two's help!" she said.
"Yes Princess." Said Dawn. I remained quiet.
"Shadow. Please get ready."
"Alright." I walked to the door and turned around seeing it get shut behind me. Then a crystal appeared in front of me glowing in gold magic. Celestia made me a map. I grabbed it and opened it showing not a map. But a circular radar pointing me to Luna's location. Cleaver girl.
"Are you ready?" asked Dawn. I equipped my helmet and downloaded the diamond to my headset showing the radar on the bottom right corner of my HUD.
"I am. It's a world full of hate."
"I didn't pick up that last part."
"Don't worry about it Watcher. Just watch over me." I flew out the window and went over the tree the girls were hiding at. I landed behind them and shot air out of the two air vents on the bottom of my helmet. They were scared. The visor opened showing my face. "What are you girls doing?" I just noticed that everyone was with them. All my friends came out the bushes. "And guys."
"We're here to help." said Twilight.
"Help by watching me?"
"Yep. We can do some damage from here." said Applejack.
"AJ. I appreciate it guys but I don't want any of you involved. It's okay if you are watched but if you get involved they will hunt you like they did to Kay." I told them before closing my helmet. "I'm serious. I can't lose you guys." They all gave me a hug and then I took off following the radar. Down I saw an arrow heading for me with a rope tied to it. I dodged it and pulled it up pulling a pony into the air. He was small and squirmy.
"Let me down!" he cried as I held him over some buildings.
"Sure thing." I said dropping him into the city. I went back to radar hunting. Huh. It's like Dragon Ball all over! Got to get that Dragon Ball! I looked down to see the large blue pony from the day before. He was sharpening a sword. What better time to attack! I jumped into a shadow and assaulted the unprepared pony. After about a minute of holding him in a choker hold he started to talk.
"I'll talk! I'll talk!" he said. I put him down and put some high-tech cuffs on him. If he gets farther than 10 ft from me then he gets zapped with enough energy to kill Discord.
"I hope you remember me." I said slamming his head in the wall causing him to bled from the scalp. "Now tell me why you attacked!"
"We needed to get you out of the picture so we could get the princess!" Not so tough now are ya?
"Where is Zephyr?" I asked him. "I want to pay him an old friend's visit the best way I know how."
"He's on the bay in the lighthouse!"
"Thank you big guy." I gave him a hard punch knocking him out. "Thought you would be stronger than that." I began to walk away. I heard what sounded like breaking metal and turned to see him out of the hoof cuffs and begin to charge at me. Now I see... Charging Tank... That makes more sense now. I jumped over him and grabbed his tail throwing him back into the shadows. I then used my magic to surround him in it.
"Where are we?!" He yelled as we entered the Shadow Realm.
"We are in my domain." I said making the shadows cover his face. "Live your worst dream." I said sending him into a nightmare. I pulled him out of the shadows. He was knocked out and shivering. He would cry out and say something every now and then but I tied him up with some chains and headed for the beach. Dr. Z is going to pay for fucking with me.
"What are you doing?" asked Dawn. "Go get the princess."
"But Dawn! I can stop all of this!"
"Think deep down. What is your job and what is right?"
"...Just wait Luna." I turned around and began my flight towards the location on the radar. I found a small square building that the Radar highlighted as being her location.
"I have a question." asked Dawn. "Their are a lot of dudes in their. How do you see yourself?" he asked me.
"I'm more of a... people person." I popped my neck.
I stormed through the roof standing between 15 guys. I quickly went back and forth throwing punches. I gave one a double kick.
[1]
I grabbed another and held his hoof in my shoulder area and gave him a few punches before releasing him and giving him a far kick.
[2]
I jumped up and grabbed two slamming their heads together and driving them into the ground.
[3]
I blocked a punch and took one as a shield. A bunch of them began throwing spears and shooting arrows which I used this poor guy to block.
[4!]
I threw him at the others as a crowd clearer and a couple of them were stuck. I gave them all quick taps to the head.
[9!]
I looked at the remaining 6 and watched them.
"Boo!" I said and 4 of them ran out. 1 of the guys left charged me and I kicked him in the nuts and grabbed his head with my right arm and shoulder and snapped it back killing him. The last one pulled out a turret and aimed it at me. A turret! Guess they did get decent technology. I summoned a Shadow Shield and caught all the bullets before sending each and every one of them back into his head. He gurgled and fell back.
"Ehg..." I said to myself looking at the bloody mess.
"Dustin!" cried Luna in a dangling cage. She was a mess. I cut the cage down and examined her injured body. Lots of cuts, bruises, and they... they... did something bad to her.
"Oh my... Luna! What did they do?!"
"They... They..." she tried to tell me but instantly bawled up and cried in my chest.
"Shh shh. I'm so sorry. Let's get home. Dawn." He both got covered by the familiar orange light and appeared in the castle throne room. She continued to cry on me until Celestia came to her and pulled her into a motherly hug. I know. Weird. They're sisters aren't they? I looked down at my clothes. "Let's see... Blood... A little glass... tears... and a wonderful white liquid! Dawn!" He came up and scrubbed the suit with a brush and soap bucket. "Thank you."
"Welcome. Is she...?"
"Yes. They did. Let's just not say anything." We tried to comfort the crying alicorn. She couldn't talk anymore. Her whole body shut down in pain and shame. I nodded to Dawn and we grabbed her my blanket from the office during days I forget to go home. We wrapped her up and left Celestia to comfort her alone. Just to make sure we locked all the doors and we went to the office and talked.
"Jeez. How could they do that to her?" he yelled.
"I don't know but I killed most of them. Now I'm glad I had a reason to." I looked at her through the wall. We had these one way mirrors beside the door. Poor kid...
"Nightmare would have gotten out and killed them all."
"She would have. But I killed her. I brought this on that kid."
"Kid?"
"She has the body of a teen. Why? Because she was a teen when she was sent to the moon." I said to him. He knew I was sad because I didn't protect her like a proper guard. "I don't know how to fix this Dawn! We failed our jobs!"
"I know. It's okay. For us I mean... but what can we do to help her?"
"We never leave her side again." I said. "Even though that is not possible. Where the hell were her personal guards?"
"I haven't seen them since the secretary tried to escape... does that mean...!"
"We have more spies! This time they went to far!" I yelled walking out the door.
"Where are you going Shadow!" He asked following me. I opened the door to the hallway and saw the two of them laughing out loud.
'She was the best pussy I've ever fucked!' said G1. (guard #1)
'Shh... Shadows over there. *clears throat.*'
"Hey Shadow!" he said. I gave him my death stare. "What?" I pointed into the throne room and they listened to the crying from inside. I gave them both a barrage of punches and held them captive. "What are you doing!" yelled the second one coughing some blood.
"We know what you did!" I yelled so loud so everyone in the castle could hear. "We trusted you to protect your princess! Instead you had her kidnapped and you raped her! How could you?!"
"How would you understand Shadow. Have you been around a woman so long that you would do anything to get with her?" asked guard 1.
"I do know! Kay! Remember her? I have known her since I was 5 and now she's gone! I know that feeling much worse than a lowlife like you!" I knocked them both out due to anger. "It's just a world full of hate." I told Dawn.
"What?"
"I thought this world was different. It's exactly the same as my world. I have seen many crimes. I have committed a fair share of them. I never did anything like rape. No... the worse I did was arson. Murder, maybe. But never this. I hate rape and suicide more than all other forms of pain."
"Have you been in that much pain Dustin?"
"Worse. I had a sister back on Earth. She died when I was 11. She was... raped. Then murdered."
"Oh Celestia that's horrible!"
"They never got who did it where as here we caught two of them red handed."
"These two weren't the only rapist?"
"No... I don't think so. I don't think that 15 guys would stand around and watch this without getting greedy." I told him.
"They all helped." said Luna walking in the hallway. "I heard everything."
"And you should know that I'm going to find the 4 guys who I didn't kill and teach them a lesson." In case you were wandering when I was tapping people in the head I was stabbing their brains. Can't help it. Bad hobby.
"Take a break Shadow. At least take comfort that you saved me." she said quietly. "You did what you could."
"If I was quicker than I could have avoided this. Zephyr will pay. I promise."
"Who?" she asked.
"The doctor I saved in the past. God dammit I trusted him!" I yelled kicking one of the guards on the ground. "I trusted him like I trust these two. Now I regret everything." I just lost some pride. I got stabbed in the back again. Failed my job to protect and to top the cream whip on the ice cream sundae with a cherry the person who I was supposed the protect lost that very same cherry.
"I'm sorry Shadow."
"About what?"
"For making you worry so much."
"Don't say that. If anything I'm sorry." Luna gave me a nod and wrapped herself with my blanket while Celestia escorted her to their chambers. "Dawn what's the deal with Cutter."
"We erased her memory and put her on the edge of town." Near their H Q I imagine.
"Alright." I went outside. Their was snow on the ground which I imagine since we're in the middle of January. The moon was up and full with every star beside it. It was as if the moon itself was crying. It was a beautiful yet heartbreaking sight. Now I'm even sadder. "I will get Zephyr." I said to myself. "Dawn? Did you do as was told?"
"Put our tracker signal on her?"
"Yes."
"I did. Why?"
"She's going to take us to her base. If they have anymore advanced technology I imagine door passwords and security."
"Alright then. Go get some rest." Did I really spend all day already?
"Fine. See you later." I flew off. Now I have to tell my friends how Luna was raped and I know Twilight won't take it well. When I landed and opened the door their was a news broadcast on the TV. God bless these ponies and technology! "What's on?" I asked and they all looked at me and went 'Shh!' so I shut myself up and watched it.
'We have reports that the hero Shadow not only killed 11 ponies today but was also causing trouble at the castle.'
"What?!" What the fuck! How can they post that!
'He came in through the building and just went off on us. For no reason!' said a pony with fake bandages on. He was one of the ones who escaped.
"That's bullshit! I killed them because they kidnapped Luna!" I muted the TV "How can they lie like that?"
"Should we believe you?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Dash. You have known me for a long time now. Are you just going to believe this news report over me?"
"I just might. The news is usually right." My Little Bitch! I will kill you! No! Keep it together.
"Then fuck it your no help." I cut the volume back on.
'It is also known that Shadow has beaten up his own teammates.' It showed a picture of the two night guards all battered and bruised. 'He also kidnapped people including his own princess.' I muted it again.
"Well... Now I know who else to kill."
"Tell us what really happened then all mighty hero!" said and angered Pinkie.
"15 ponies kidnapped Luna. The two guards I assaulted help them. They tortured and raped her." They all gasped. "I let a few of them go. They worked for an old man I knew named Zephyr so tomaro I'm paying him a little visit." I looked at all my friends who didn't believe me. "I shouldn't have to explain myself to you guys." I went outside and flew to the news room. I came in through the window and talked to her while she was doing the interview.
"Shadow!" she basically jumped out of her chair.
"Stand up. Tell me why you are spreading lies over the news."
"I'm not!"
"Don't play coy. I didn't do many of those things"
"But but you killed and-"
"I killed to rescue the princess. Didn't think about that did ya?" I walked to the camera. "I'm tired of your propaganda." I destroyed it.
"How am I suppose to work?"
"Your not. They are already getting a new reporter to come in and replace you." I said walking into the shadow.
"Wait!" She jumped in it but I was already gone. That was fun. Now I need some sleep.
I'm going to teach you about how I am a rocket man!
Well yesterday was April 16th. It was the 5 anniversary of the infamous shootings at Virginia Tech. If anyone is reading this than please remember all of the innocent lives lost on this day. I'd appreciate it.
I was trying to sleep but I kept turning and moving in my bed. I could only think about my sister and Luna. Just how similar they were and what similar pain they had to go through. I can't sleep. No matter what I've tried I just can't do it with a guilty mind. So I got up and began preparing myself to get to Zephyr. Let's see here. I need to go over my checklist. Great now I feel like Twi.
1. Check armor for maintenance. Check.
2. Get all weapons ready. Check.
3. Get a good surrounding of the lighthouse. X. I don't know what the area is like or who I'm going to fight.
"You awake Watcher?" I said into my headset. No response. Guess I'm doing this solo. I walked out of my room and saw that every light in the house was off. All the ponies were sleeping. I equipped my helmet so I could see and check the time. 1:57? God I am up early. How long have I been trying to sleep now? I cut on my goggles and made my way outside.
"Yeah... I'm awake." said a tired voice on my headset.
"I can't sleep. I need to see Dr. Z now." I told him.
"Dude... It's like 2 in the morning. Can you try again in like 9 hours?"
"Once again I can't sleep." I started to fly towards the bay which he adopted as home. And by he I mean the backstabbing son of a bitch who I am going to kill! I made my way to the beach and stopped to scope out the area. There was an army outside. I saw Charging Tank and Charm Cutter at the head of the group making a speech.
"We will not lose!" yelled Cutter. "We will not give in to this murderer. This Shadow can't hurt us if we shine the light on him!" Uh... I don't think it works that way. I transferred myself over there via shadow powers and stood behind her. "We learned that he sleeps at night mostly so that gives us plenty of time to prepare to meet him!" She yelled. She turned around and her entire brown coat when white. She was shaking like a leaf.
"Boo!" I whispered before taking her hostage. "Alright no one move!" I yelled. They all stopped trying to kill me. "Now get Zephyr down here!" I yelled at a small pony who went inside the building. When he came out he was helping an old pony walk.
"It appears we meet again comrade!" he yelled at me.
"Zephyr! What the fuck where you thinking!"
"I was thinking that we humans deserve our land."
"But this is Equestria!"
"I know. It's in our nature to destroy Dustin. How's Kay? Oh... too soon?"
"You knew about this?"
"I helped organized it. I just needed to convince Bloodmane. Which he did a good job and you killed him saving me the trouble."
"I will kill you!" I slit the throat of Cutter and threw her body at Charging Tank. I flew past all the other ponies and made my way to him. He then pulled out a familiar metal weapon and pushed a button on his costume. He disappeared and I received a hard punch to the neck. When I went down I felt something tap on the back of my head. I heard a hammer being pulled down.
"You weren't much of a fight. How disappointing." I grabbed the gun and flipped him over me. I took it out of his hooves and put it on my hoof where the weapon was adjusted for ponies to shoot. I turned and shot at every pony that was charging at me. Including Tank I saw all their brains get blown out. When I ran out I rushed into the crowd using the empty gun as a blunt weapon.
"Take this fucker!" I grabbed one and rammed the barrel into his neck about 3 times crushing his trachea. I flipped it upside down and used it as a pistol whip and knocked out about 5 of them. Then on my left I was a group of 4 ponies. They were the ones that escaped when I was avenging Luna. "You 4 are next. Do that to my princess will you?"
"Please mister! We didn't mean it!" One of them cried as I drew out my claws.
"Their is only one meaning of rape and you meant it. You reek of the stench of sin." I chopped his head off. I stabbed two of them and tackled the last one not using my weapons. I continued to punch him in the head until he slowly died of brain trauma. I drew my blades again and watched as the entire army disbanded leaving only a Zephyr left.
"Dustin stop this madness!"
"Agreed. I'll make it quick."
"I'm fighting to survive. I read a book on time and how if I kill enough here I save enough in Earth."
"But the wasteland never happened! I created you in my dream doctor!"
"But that's not possible. I need to sacrifice more to counter balance the death of our worlds."
"You've sacrificed too much..."
"Only a fool would say that." Guess he truly went mad. I held one of my blades up at him from far away. "I don't see how you can stab me from over there." I smirked and shot all 3 blades into his skull. The bang was loud enough to wake up everyone within miles.
I turned away from the dead bodies and began my walk home when I heard laughter behind me. I turned to see him standing back up laughing his lungs out. He was blue or ethereal-ish. He picked up all the dead bodies and began to float in the air.
"You have finished my plans Dustin Shafer! You are a true fool!" He absorbed them all and grew into a large blue dragon. "I have the power of the underworld now!"
"Uh oh..." Celestia teleported beside me.
"What have you done this time?" she yelled at me.
"It appears I may have doomed us all." I said. He then threw a punch and sent me into the lighthouse smashing the building.
"You can't stop me!" He yelled as I climbed out of the rubble. I gave Celestia a signal to beat it and she escaped the fight.
"Oh I can... Just give me a minute." I was still trying to get out. When I climbed out I saw him drinking a glass of tea.
"You see Shafer I absorbed all of those dead souls to create a much more powerful body allowing me to use much more powerful magic." He clapped his hands together leaving a rift floating. "I just combined our worlds!" I picked up a pole from the camp and threw it through the rift destroying it. "Stop that."
"It's not going to happen Z! I am going to kill you!"
"If you can!" I flew up towards his chest. He was ready for me as he blocked it so instead of hitting the area he thought was going to be injured I flew into his eye socket. "AAAGGGGHHHH! Get out!"
"I'm not doing it." I went into the back of his head and saw his brain. It looked more like a fountain with souls emitting from it.
"Why did you kill me?" asked one of them.
"Honest mistake." I told him.
"I didn't want to die..." said another.
"And I didn't want to come here and lose my wife. Now I'm in some dude's brains. Ugh."
"Get out!" yelled Zephyr. I looked over at his brain and saw it had a little plug connecting to the wall.
"Oh man... I love cartoons." I said while pulling the plug and watching his body shut down. He fell down on his face covering my eye exit. "I am not going out his ass." I used my one remaining blade arm to cut my way out of the back of his neck. When I got out looking like a bloody mess I saw all my friends, the princess, and a few thousand spectators. "Oh boy."
"Dustin! What the hell is wrong with you!" yelled an angered Twilight.
"It's okay Twilight! I may have created this monster but I stopped it so we're all good!"
"No! No we are not all good! You killed so many ponies!"
"Now Twilight..."
"Don't interrupt me! This monster was made because of your sins!" Ouch. "What's keeping him from coming back?" she asked. Everyone stared at me.
"I'm going to teach you something Twilight Sparkle and I want you all to watch!" I flew under the dragon and lifted him up. "I'm going to teach you about how I am a rocket man!" I started to fly and carry the beast with me all the way to the moon. I equipped my helmet which Dawn fitted with a oxygen converter mask. When I was in orbit I threw his body out into space and decided to stand on the moon.
"Huh... It's actually nice up here." I looked to my right and saw a couch, a TV, and a food making machine. Guess I know how Luna survived up here. Maybe I can breath in space. I took my mask off and took in a deep breath before letting it out. "I can breathe in space! Besides I'm probably gonna get banished up here for causing so much trouble down there. Doubt it."
20 minutes later
I was standing on Earth listening to Twilight's lecture which I just zoned out of. I could hear her words but they went in one ear and out the other. Why is my hair blowing? Are words really that powerful?! No.
"Dustin Shafer!" echoed Celestia in my head. Everyone was quiet and we all looked at her. "You have caused trouble and panic in this land. You are not the same person we thought you were."
"And what kind of person am I? What was I supposed to be Celestia? You can't change someone! That is just not possible."
"That does it! You are banished to the moon!" Her voice echoed through the world. The only other noise I heard was a glass break.
"Uh huh. And for how long?"
"A thousand years!"
"Celestia I won't live that long." She aimed her horn at me and shot me with a spell.
"No this is much worse. I just increased your life span to that of an alicorn."
"I thought you were immortal."
"I am. So is Luna. All the others aren't. You will live for a few thousand years." Then she zapped me with another spell sending me to the moon. "Until then enjoy your vacation."
"Great. I'm on the moon!" Am I going to go insane? I might. "What the fuck. I thought Twilight said that Celestia had a crush on me." I sat on the couch and cut on the TV. Then the robot that makes food started talking.
"Hello master Shafer. I have heard of what has happened."
"*sigh* What did I do so bad this time?" I asked her. Yes it had a woman's voice.
"Well besides almost summoning a monster who wanted to kill all species of this world and repopulate the human race not much."
"But I stopped him!"
"And cause so much destruction and pain in the way." I stopped talking now. It was right. I guess this was my fault. I slid down in the couch and thought to myself. "What would you like to eat?"
"What's good?"
"How about a dandelion and hay sandwich?"
"Fine." I just now decided to think about what just happened. I just got banished to the moon. Now I'm going to mess all those weddings and be late for work. Then the robot handed me a sandwich. "How did you get this here?"
"I made it down there and sent it up here."
"Impressive." I took a bit out of it. "Not bad." A thousand years doesn't sound so bad. Right?
I am going to need to rely on my futuristic ideas for a while. Its the only way to make this more awesome.
29 years later
God I hate being on the moon. I think it's been a few weeks now. Do you know what Tia did? She took away my wings so I couldn't fly and I can't use my shadow powers. Might as well bend me over and fucking rape me now! I'm a fucking alter boy! I was doing some pushups so I could stay in shape when this pony appeared in front of me.
"Wow! So this is what the moon is like!" She was impressed by this small rocks strange beauty.
"What are you doing here?" I asked her.
"Oh Dustin! Your still here!"
"Yes. Do I know you?"
"It's me! Silver Sage!" What?! Why is she here!
"Sage? You look so grown up!"
"It's been a long time. I came up here because I just wanted to see what it was like. I'm doing an experiment." I think I may have lost track of time. Then she sat down and started to write in her journal. She was a very cute mare.
"What happened to Twilight and Static?" I asked her.
"Not much. I'm only going to be here for about another 7 seconds anyways." She started to glow. "Oh here's something cool! My mom is now an..." She was gone.
"Twilight is a what? A Bitch? I knew that." I said to myself going back to my exercises.
239 years later
I think I've been here for 7 years now. It's so depressing. I now know how Luna feels. I cut my hair short and spiky and kept my stubble. Guess I'm aging a bit as well. I am lucky though as my hair kept it's brown color.
"Hello master!" said the robot.
"Ello."
"What would you like to eat?"
"Give me whatever sounds good." I have said that every time she offered my food. I then got a caramel apple.
"Here you go!" she said handing it to me.
"I love caramel and apples. It's like the only candy I like." I said taking a bit out of it. Then another robot appeared out of nowhere in a blinding light. It stood up like a pony and looked exactly like me. It even got the hair right. How? How did it know what I looked like from down there?
"Hello Shafer. I am here to check up on you." It said standing up.
"Uh... No comment here." I said to it. He looked at me giving me a scan. Then after a while he disappeared. "Well that was more random than Pinkie Pie. I could really go for one of her songs right about now."
732 years later
I was sleeping on the couch. It think I really lost track of time. It's been about 39 years now I think. I'm going to be up here for so long its not even funny!
"Dustin Shafer!" yelled a booming voice. Was that Celestia? Sounds different. Than again I haven't heard her talk for 39 years. I was then engulfed by a warm light.
"Have a pleasant future!" said the robot. Good riddance. I then felt myself hit something hard. I looked around to see I was in the futuristic Canterlot throne room.
"How was your time Dustin?" asked a voice which didn't sound like the princess from behind me. I turned around after standing up and saw a purple pony sitting in the throne. She had dark violet hair with one pink streak in it.
"Twilight Sparkle?" I asked her getting a nod in return. "It's been a thousand years already?" I asked looking around.
"I know Celestia sent you to the moon to get you out of the way."
"Out of the way for what?"
"For Equestria to grow and become an age of technology."
"She knew I would go against it and put up a fight. Clever." Twilight stood up. She was as tall as Celestia and had large black wings. She was wearing violet shoes like Tia wore hers. She was an alicorn now! How did this happen!
"Are you confused Dustin?" she asked.
"I thought it was only 39 years. So yeah pretty confused. What do I do now?"
"I don't know Dustin. Your a dangerous secret. Anypony would kill you on the spot as it is."
"You can say Anybody. I don't see what the point of that is."
"I'm serious!"
"And I'm still confused. Who wants me dead this time?"
"Celestia blamed all of the worlds greatest mistakes on you."
"Uh oh. And what mistakes are they?" She stood up and made a motion with her hooves so the guards would leave so it would be just us in the room.
"Twilight where is everybody!"
"They're all dead Dustin."
"Even Sage?"
"Yes."
"Sorry. Now what mistakes?"
"You were blamed for causing: 3 wars, 7 genocides, 1000's of innocent deaths, and the death of the Princess herself."
"Well... I can say I didn't cause any of those no matter how much I would have enjoyed the last one."
*sigh* "Dustin don't be like that."
"I don't have a choice. Humans live for almost 100 years. She made me live through ten human lives. That's torture Twilight."
"It does sound bad. I know how you feel."
"Why would she blame me for this?"
"Because your actions cause the Revolution. Ponies wanted a better leader and before she died she gave me all her powers." she said wiping a tear. Obviously a painful moment for her.
"Where am I going to go?" I asked her. "It's the future now and I don't know what to do."
"Just stay with me Dustin. I'd hate to lose you as well." She said with what sounded like happiness. Always loved Twilight. Don't know why but I have. I don't want to think that! She hates me obviously. She pressed a button beside her throne and spoke into a speaker. "Ms. Pot. Can you bring some tea for me and my guest please."
"Of course Princess." said a voice on the other side. Then a pony with two guards rushed in the door and pushed me into a chair and carried me and Twilight to a table on the balcony. They gave us tea and left.
"That was... something." I told her.
"You'll get used to it." She said sipping on her tea. "I'm sorry that Celestia did this. She just wanted everyone happy."
"And she uses the one dirty pony that isn't afraid of death to get the job done."
"Don't think like that Dustin."
"How did she die Twilight? I know it's a touchy subject but I have to know."
"She was killed during a raid. Discord got out and help with that. We didn't refreeze him though."
"You finally put the bastard down."
"Yes. Applejack and I weren't really affected. Rainbow hated it. Pinkie... it killed her spirit and Fluttershy had troubles adjusting to it but she was able to move past it."
"1..2..3..4..5.. What about Rarity?" I asked her. I know my memory is still in good shape.
"She... she killed herself." Twilight put her tea down and lowered her head.
"Sorry." I looked at the city. It was a lot bigger with tons of more lights. It was more... Tron than I expected. I'm not even joking it was mostly black with highlights. "Everything has changed huh?"
"It has."
"And to think that 1000 years ago I was shaking my ass at a fashion show!"
"HAHAHA!" Twilight busted out laughing.
"I don't know why your laughing. I saw you checking me out."
"You did-?!" She stopped and blushed.
"Hahaha... I'm sorry Twilight."
"About what?"
"Not doing anything to stop this. I love technology but it can easily go wrong."
"I understand! Accidents happen so much and when someone dies they don't even notice. Anybody is at risk."
"You said Anybody."
"Oh... *giggle* I guess I did." She kept her cute giggle. Great! Now If only she kept that cute little smile. I watched her move her head down to hide her sheepish smile. She kept it! But something is wrong here. I can just sense it.
"Twilight something doesn't feel right." I told her.
"You're just not use to it yet."
"No it's just that I-" I was cut off when a silver pony walked through the door from the balcony.
"Mother!" she cried. She looked just like Silver Sage but had a tattoo of 23 on her neck.
"Sage! Bad time!" she said carrying her to the next room and locking the door behind her so I couldn't escape. Shit I knew something was wrong! I can't fly or use magic! God dammit! Celestia you motherfucker! I will kill the shit out of you if I go back in time again. Then Twilight came back out.
"Dustin! Listen I know it looks bad but I had too!" she cried.
"Twilight you cloned your daughter! That's horrible!" I looked past her and saw a clone of Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Oh god! Oh god!
"Says the guy who kills!" yelled the Rainbow clone with a 31 on her neck.
"Shut up! Just shut up! Twilight you can't play god!"
"I'm not! I'm just preventing the enviable."
"Where are the others?" I asked her.
"Pinkie and Rarity didn't get cloned in time. Fluttershy is in the gardens. Your friends however..."
"Static! Forest and Sky! Your telling me their dead!"
"Yes but listen to me! I couldn't dare lose my friends. Now we can control the pony population even if you... you..."
"If I kill again." I took a sigh and sat back down putting my face on my right hoof and looked at the town. "I'm hopeless Twilight. I don't have a lover. I don't have a future. I don't have many friends left. It's all leaving."
"I understand Dustin. I truly do." She sounded like she meant it.
"I believe you of all people would. I was right by the looks of it." I reached into my pocket and pulled out my last cigarette. "I was saving this for the day I die or a close friend dies. It appears I have lost many friends."
"Dustin I am so sorry. For everything."
"Kay keeps haunting me. Even when I was on the moon and I questioned my sanity everyday she would still haunt my thoughts."
"Dustin listen. We or I still care about you." The clones left. She didn't. "So much has happened in the past. What are you thinking about?"
"Do you know how bad it was on the moon? No time. I couldn't tell what day it was or what date it was. I'm also thinking about how many Earth years have gone by. If I did my calculations correct it was 30,000 years."
"What year was it when we brought you here?"
"It was... 2012... I think."
"So what happened to the Earth?"
"Well there are two guesses. It is either a technological paradise or a wasteland hell." She stopped talking and began to think to herself.
"So even if you make it back everyone you know is gone?"
"Yes. I don't want to go back. I'll just stay here for the remaining few thousand years your lovely princess cursed on me."
"Again I'm sorry. What are you going to do now?"
"I put money in the bank and invested in plenty of stocks. I imagine that I should have a lot saved up." She sat down beside me and looked at the city. Then back at me. I was still wondering if I should light up my last cigarette.
"Save your smoke Shafer." She only says my last name when she is truly serious. "What if I could send you back in time to correct all of this. Would you change it?" I put my hoof on hers earning a blush on her face.
"No. I am already a victim of changes. I also hate changing time. Rewriting History. Changing the future. It's all wrong. I just want to stay with you the last of my friends."
"The last?"
"Your friends and daughter don't seem found of me."
"They are still believing Celestia over me." She didn't say princess. Guess she really burned Twilight. "They are probably arguing in their about the best way to ditch you."
"Hahaha! That's sounds about right!" I put up my smoke. "I'm still defenseless."
"Explain yourself Dustin! You never doubt yourself."
"Celestia took my wings and powers."
"That's strange. I still sense lots of power inside of you." Odd... That's highly unlikely.
"What could I do?"
"You could Bend."
"I can bend like this." I bent my body in half in a yoga pose. "See?"
"No I mean Bend elements. Their are ponies who have done that for hundred's of years."
"Can you tell me where they are?"
"Better. I can send you there and when your done I'll bring you back." She said while winking.
"I have another question. Where's Luna?"
"She was chased out. People thought she was too dangerous and angry since Celestia died."
"That's sad. And have you found anybody else to love?"
"No. Not since Static died." She stared at me while saying that. "You remind me of him."
"I was him. Or he was a part of me."
"Yes." She shook her head getting out of her daze. "Tell me when your ready to travel."
"I was always ready. Whose first?"
"The Water Bending tribe."
"And where are they?"
"They are in the Arctic to the south." Arctic? Don't you mean Antarctic? No wait. This is Equestria. Alright then.
Well I've been board so I decided to go back and play my favorite game from last year. Saints Row the Third. Best game ever I shit you not.
I was sent to the Equestrian version of the Arctic. Looked exactly the same as Earth. No technology. Just a blizzard. I was standing on top of some short of hill. I looked around and couldn't see a thing except the road ahead of me. Then I was handed a map out of nowhere telling me where I was and which way the road navigates. I zipped up my brown coat and pulled my hood up. I did notice I had change on the moon. I had a snow white coat which I didn't notice before. However it's like I never aged. I only got paler.
"Brr... Twilight didn't say anything about a surprise blizzard." I followed the map and stayed on the road until I made it to a small tribal camp. When I got their the large white gates hit me in the face. Or I hit it. Something like that. "Ow."
"Halt traveler!" said a voice above. "Do tell us why you are here?"
"I have come to learn how to Bend water! Twilight said you could help me!"
"Ah... The princess did say of the pony of prophecy from the moon of times hundred's of years back would be here to learn."
"Prophecy? Whatever may I come in?"
"Yes! Please accept our apologies!" The gates opened to show me a beautiful little village. Their were lots of ponies all happy and free. Each wearing a blue coat with tribal paintings on them. I saw unicorns doing magic and pegasai flying. They were fly fishing. I also saw an Earth pony pick up a water ball! Then a pretty mare walked up to me.
"Hello." She said. "You are Dustin?"
"I am... Ms?"
"I am Snow Blossom. The princess of this land."
"Oh my god!" I got on one knee and bowed. "I'm sorry your highness!"
"Rise. It is us who should bow to you."
"What?"
"We know of Celestia's choice to remove you. You didn't deserve it. Yet you keep fighting no matter what bad things have happened."
"Your right. I've had 1000 years to forget about the past. I don't even remember the girl I liked. Tea? Sea! No I can't remember her name. Hay? Oh well." The princess was still confused about my rantings. She was very beautiful. She was the perfect snow pony. White fur. Black hair. Blue eyes like mine. Also an Earth pony. Maybe she's like that pony I just saw a minute ago lifting the water.
"So the Princess Twilight thinks you have what it takes to bend. Do you know what element you are?"
"Wait theirs more than one?"
"Yes. Earth. Fire. Wind. and Water. These are the 4 elements that the ponies can use. As you can see we are Water."
"And tribal at that. I always wanted to live in a teepee."
"And you shall have the chance! I will allow you to occupy my tent with me."
"Oh sweet! Wait... what?" She was walking away.
"Come on now! Follow me!" I walked with her and looked around.
"Their isn't any technology here."
"Is that a problem?"
"Where I came from their was little but nothing like in the big city. That was crazy."
"We disapprove of such things. While some ponies have their electronics we have our Bending. Bending is similar to Magic. Only a few may use it. Ponies with powerful spirits or wills are the only ones who may though."
"I see... Can I use it?"
"You have so much energy inside of you. I though you already could?"
"I can? How?"
"Later. Let's show you around." She showed me the tents, the stores, the fishers, and the training grounds. "Alright here we are. Let's see what you got."
"How do I do it?"
"Rest your mind Shafer. Ease your body. Feel the water and let it be you." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I stood on my back legs like she did and calmed myself with forearm movements and breathing.
"Rest... my mind." I said to myself. I didn't open my eyes. I only tried to feel it. I need to get a mental picture. I thought about making a water ball and throwing it at someone.
"Hey!" I opened my eyes and looked to see Snow's face wet. She was wiping of the water. "Watch it!" She pulled all the water from her hair and dried herself up.
"I did it?" I tried it again with my eyes open and lifted up a lot of water this time.
"Whoa!" said the princess. "Your powerful! You must really be a natural for Twilight to trust you so much."
"Does Twilight not trust easily?"
"Not since her husband died and since the princess's actions." The thought of Celestia really pissed me off. So much that I turned the water I was holding into a large iceberg. "Jeez!"
"Whoa..." I said to myself before moving my hooves back and the ice melting into water. "I guess I'm going to get good at this."
"You mean your not good?"
"I don't have full control."
"You sound mature."
"I better be. I had a thousand years to think to myself only." I got on the ground in a meditative position. "Here follow my lead." She did as was told with a giggle.
"Alright. You meditate?"
"I learned a lot on the moon. Watch." I kept perfectly still with my eyes closed and began to float. "Ease your body and let your spirit take you."
"How can I do that?" She asked.
"Leave your body and lift yourself up." She tried hard but couldn't move. I got back down and helped her. "Here I'll help. Think about a bamboo fountain."
"Okay."
"Now think about their being no water. The bamboo is your body and you need to be the water to move the bamboo." She thought really hard and slowly began to rise. "Their we go. Don't panic. Don't move. Slowly open your eyes and carry yourself like I said." She opened her eyes and breathed in slowly and smiled.
"I'm doing it! Guess we both learned something." She could talk and float. That's impressive. Took me a while to learn that.
"This is the best way to think." I told her. "Well I think."
"This is amazing!" She slowly lowered herself down and stood up. "I didn't know I could do that."
"Your a natural at keeping your... 'cool'."
"Oh ha ha. Let's laugh at the ice pony."
"Hey I'm as white as you." She laughed a little at it. "Can I bend other elements?"
"It's not possible I'm afraid. Glad you found the right one though."
"Right. You said Fire, wind, and earth. Let's try it!" I held a hoof up and pushed hardly. "Come on!"
"Dustin please stop. It's not pos-" She was cut off when I shot a fireball out of my hoof and melted a piece an Iceberg at sea. "-sible... Oh my heavens!" Yay she didn't say 'Oh my Celestia' or any bullshit like that. Heavens! "You are just an amazing pony."
"So I can do water and fire."
"The only way is if you are one with your spiritual and physical sides."
"Well I kept in shape over the years even though on the moon it didn't feel like thousands of years. No more like super long days. Also I've been in a coma and I've felt death so many times that I should be a spirit."
"We have so much to learn from the pony of the past. How ironic."
"Hahaha! I guess so! This is great! I feel alive!" I picked her up for a hug.
"Oh! Hahaha... Put me down! Hahaha!" I put her back down and listened to her. "You can teach us all something and we need to teach you. You're right. You lack control."
"Then we practice in the morning because I am pooped." I said sitting down. I yawned and felt hungry. "I don't remember the last time I ate. Speaking of which what time is it?"
"Your just a bundle of fun Dustin. It's going to be great to have you here. Come on let's go get some food." She took my hoof in her hoof and began to walk.
"No seriously what time is it?"
1 hour later
I was eating my 7th fish and hearing Ice laugh.
"Hahaha... jeez you must really be hungry."
"All I ate was artificial food from an annoying robot for a long time. She would only make me sandwiches." Thank god! Ponies who eat meat! When I'm done I'm coming back here!
"Well Enjoy." she said taking a bite out of her fish. She is really cute. Definitely makes me forget about that one girl I used to be with. After we ate we went outside and noticed how dark it was getting. "Well Twilight is lowering the sun."
"So we better be off." She nodded and we went to her tent. Inside I looked around. Their were pictures and a rack for her to hang clothes. She had a lot of different coats and one dress. She is a princess.
"What do you think?"
"I am loving it here. Meat! Teepees! This is the coolest place ever. When I'm done learning my Bending and get my name cleared I'm moving here."
"That would be very nice. I didn't have time to get a second bed so do you... wanna... share?"
"Sure." Just keep it cool. I think I'm too old for her anyways.
"How old are you?" she asked me. Oh she's good.
"Well I am 1030. But since I haven't aged a day I should just be 30."
"Huh. I am only 28." Yes! "How does it feel to know your world has just gone bye past you."
"It doesn't feel great. But I don't really know how it feels. I guess guilty is the only factor that affects you."
"How so?"
"Knowing that everything has changed and is somewhat your fault."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"I'm not. I got over it." I sat on the bed next to her taking my coat off. "I just hope I don't get stabbed in the back again." She only stared at my scars. She even touched the x on my cheek.
"You look like you've been through hell."
"That's the best explanation I could give." Finally someone who understands! She cut the light off beside her and got in the bed right beside me. Here's the best part. It was a quite small bed. Guess who gets to snuggle.
"Good night Dustin." She said closing her eyes. She laid her head on my chest and went to sleep. I decided to look over her body. She had a white coat just like mine and not a scar in sight. She was also kinda physical for a mare meaning she can take care of herself. She kept her hair in a tribal ponytail with one big braid on the tail in the back and braids on her sideburns. The only thing maybe out of sight was the tribal tattoo on her right forearm. I want one! She also had a cutie mark of cherry blossoms with snowflakes on them. Snow Blossom.
"Good night princess." I told her recovering her body with the blanket. I put my head back and went to sleep.
"How could you!" said a voice in my dream. I turned to see Kay. "You killed me!"
"I fucking didn't! You jumped in front of the attack! You brought this on yourself and now your fucking my brother! Well Fuck you Kay! Fuck you and fuck your excuses!"
"And you think you can just find someone else?" She laughed at me.
"I know I can. I know that I don't love you anymore. Do me a favor and get out of my life." I told the ghost and it left my mind. After that I looked around to see I was in the same Water Bending village wearing a blue coat and with a blue armband on my hoof covering what appeared to be a tattoo. Then someone ran up to me.
"Their at the gate!" he screamed.
"Alright man your positions." I went to the gate and looked out of it. I saw an army with signs saying 'Bending is wrong!' and 'Down with the heretics!' and at the head of the group was Twilight herself.
"Surrender now Dustin!"
"Why don't you make me?" I asked her. The army charged and I went over the gate to fight them. I used water and earth bending to clear my way to Twilight before making an air blade and jumping at her. Before I collided it with her horn something hit me. I couldn't see anymore than black. Just black. End of dream I guess... I kind of wish I was still Static sometimes. Do that whole enter my memory shit all over again.
"Huh..." I said to myself. I looked down to see the sleeping beauty. Her hair was out of the braids and was very long. Long black hair. She was on my chest breathing lightly and healthily. She doesn't snore?! No wonder I slept so good. She is just adorable. Also she has a big flank but best not tell her that.
"*mumble*" Aw... she mumbles in her sleep. "I'm sorry... Daddy..." she said to herself. I saw a tear fall. Uh oh. I know where this is going. The tear was gone and she went back to her heavy dream from earlier. She was also drooling a little but not enough to piss me off. I need to get back to sleep. When I did I was in a white room.
"Hello?" I asked out loud. I was sitting in a chair with fancy clothes and a top hat on. I also had a tea cup. To my left was a table and God. I think. He was in the form of a pony with short white hair, a short white beard, white hair and similar fancy clothes except the hat and he had shades.
"Hello." I went back to sipping tea.
"Uh..."
"This is your mind Dustin. You are the strangest and most remarkable human I think I have ever created besides my own son."
"Nothing can beat Christ." I said.
"Glad you believe that. Wow already 1030 huh?"
"Yeah. Hey what time is it?"
"There... it's about 3:48 a.m."
"Thank you." I looked around the white room. "So this is my mind? It's so empty!" God busted out laughing.
"Hahahaha! You crack me up son." Well I've known him for about 1 minute now and he's already been better than my dad. "Look out that window over their." I did as was told and it opened and expanded showing me in a bed with Snow on top of me. "That's a beauty." he said.
"She is. How's Kay?"
"Well she's dead again. On Earth. Died of old age and depression."
"Aw... How come?"
"Your brother died and she was too old to do anything about it. She just gave up and waited for me." He refilled his tea cup and mine handing it to me. "Don't worry about Kay anymore."
"Wasn't it in the bible to never cheat on anyone?"
"It is. But! You never were married and she left you."
"Thanks for rubbing that in. I have another question."
"Shoot!" He shot the top hat of my head.
"Jesus! *ahem* How come I can Bend more than one element?"
"Because you are the most powerful. Your the Maker, remember? You can use Earth and Air as well. You are going to have the most troubles with Earth."
"How come?"
"You need to be cool to use Water. You need patience for Air and I know your patient. And you need revenge and hate for Fire."
"And Earth?"
"You need to be bold and stubborn for Earth. You are very peaceful and your attacks are coordinated. Earth isn't attacking with skill. Just brute strength."
"I thought discipline was good?"
"It is. For the others. Earth needs you to be as hard and stubborn as the ground itself."
"Seems legit."
"Oh it's time for you to get up." He pushed me out of the door that said exit. I opened my eyes to see I was still in bed. I looked down and Snow began to wake up. She yawned and moved her hoof. She felt around my stomach for a few seconds before turning her head and looking at me.
"Oh my!" she figured out that she slept on me all night. She had a large blush and pulled to blanket over her. "I'm so sorry!"
"Don't be. We both enjoyed it." A little too much. She poked her head up like a kitten.
"In that case you were better than any pillow I have ever slept on." Sounds hot. I'll try it out. Wait... I can't. Can I? It's a no.
"Come on! Let's get up!" I began to stretch. She just stared at my body. I went to my coat and noticed it was still wet. Her's dried in seconds! How the fuck?!
"Aw... It's too wet to put on. You don't have a whale coat."
"Why do you call it that?"
"Because it keeps you cool in the summer. Hot in the winter. It usually isn't wet and it is easy to clean!" She said admiring her blue coat. I poked my head out the tent and noticed the snow stopped.
"When is the next blizzard?"
"5 months." she said. Guess I came at a bad time. She put her coat on. "Do you have any money?"
"I have old time money. Does that count?" I showed her a bit.
"Wow! That bit must be worth millions!" Did she just say millions! Cha-Chink! Jackpot baby!
"Let's get me a new coat." She pushed me out and we went to the stores. Their was one that was dedicated to these coats. I went inside and sat on the stool.
"So you want a coat outsider?"
"Oh yes please!" I told him.
"Let's measure you then!" He quickly moved around me. "All done. Wait here." He left and in .245 seconds he came back with a coat and he put it on me. "Fits perfect!"
"Thanks!" I handed him a bit. "Will this do?"
"This will keep me feed for years!" he had stars in his eyes. "It's more than enough!"
"Keep the change." I told him putting the hood up.
"Wait!" He handed me a blue armband similar to Snow's. "You have been good to me! I welcome you to this tribe!"
"Thanks!" I put it on before my arm started to glow. "Whoa! OW! Why is it hurting?!"
"Give it a few more seconds." Then it stopped hurting and the glow disappeared. I moved it to show a tattoo like the tribal wave pattern had.
"This is so cool! I love this place!" I am so staying here when I retire. Fuck Twilight this is the bomb! Meat! Warm Clothes! Good friends! More members of the Good Stallion family. If only I had fingers I would snap the addams family song.
"Do come back now!" he yelled when I left. Snow was outside waiting on me.
"Oh wow! Your one of us now! Welcome to our family!" She moved her hoof showing the entire village. Every pony waved at me and cheered. "Dustin I am pleased to be the first to allow you!"
"I am honored." I took a knee showing her my respect. I gave the bitch respect. Bitches love respect.
"Rise Dustin. Please your embarrassing me." She should be use to it. She's the princess!
"Alright!" She was pulling me up. "I'm up! Hahaha... Let's go have some fun."
This is the first fucking time I have been able to connect in like... fucking days! I fucking lost my signal to the internet because it rained like a bitch and to top it all my labtop crashed! Fuck! Now I can get back to fucking work on this story. I guess. I really want to throw a comment out to Blahblahblah for helping me think of a new story. So uh... thanks.
Sight's POV
I was sleeping in my apartment in Canterlot. I couldn't stop dreaming about the future. It's my gift by the way. Yesterday Celestia sent that one pony named Shadow to the moon. She changed the course of the future and time itself. I need to fix this. It's my job. I am Hindsight. The pony with the probability alteration of changing the future.
'Beep Beep Beep!' went of my alarm.
"Shut up!" I yelled throwing my hoof onto the snooze button. 8 already? Man...
I stood up and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I was white with blue eyes, brown hair, a matching horn to my coat and a cutie mark of an eyeball with an hourglass for a pupil. I took a quick shower and looked out the window. I could see the castle looking straight down on me and inside is Celestia who is without a doubt the hottest mare around. Who doesn't want a big flank like that?! Too bad she'll never settle for trash like me.
"I need to convince her to bring back Shadow. If I don't then a terrible war will begin." I said to myself. I just need to remain calm and talk to her. It can't be that hard.
10 minutes later
"No." said Celestia.
"Please princess! Their is trouble in the future and it's going to happen because a revolution is going to happen since you banished him!" I told her.
"Dustin is a menace. All he's good at is stopping wars or causing them." she told me. I looked down to think to myself. "Listen Hindsight. I know of your gift, but I can't dare bring him back. My subjects are at risk."
"And your dead in the future Celestia! How can you protect your subjects if you don't exist!" I told her. She closed her mouth and began to think to herself.
"Perhaps you are right. Thank you for the advice Sight." I blushed a little. "Let's talk more later. Too many people around to get a good word in." I looked around and she was right. There were lots of guards and ponies waiting to come in. I wander how Dustin is holding up.
Meanwhile on the moon...
I was playing the guitar that the robot sent up to me with it's transportation abilities. I'm on the moon. Only one good song for a time like this.
"And I think it's going to be a long long time Till touch down brings me round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I'm a rocket man Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone"
Back to Sight.
Oh god it has to be torture! I don't think I could be on the moon for a thousand years. I need to talk with the Princess later and clear this all up.
A few hours later
I was making my way to the castle till the captain of the guards stopped me.
"Halt. Celestia is expecting someone." Guess he doesn't know who I am.
"I am Hindsight." I told him.
"Oh forgive me! We've been on tight security with the lunatic on the moon and all." He said moving his staff. "Please go in." I gave him a smile and made my way to the throne room.
"Hello Sight." said Celestia.
"Hello, your highness."
"Oh please don't be so formal on me." she said blushing. "I don't know how we can control the future. Well you can but I think we can find a way without Dustin."
"He doesn't affect it. I just don't want you to die. Their will be a terrible war in a thousand years. I need to stop the bloodshed." I told her. I just don't want to see anymore death.
"Then I appreciate your concern for me. Listen Hindsight. I know that you want to make the world a better place but will a man who kills to survive really make it a better place?" asked Celestia. I hadn't really thought of it. What if the future already in plan was better than the one I'm trying to make?
"I don't know." I told her. I really don't know anymore.
"Fine." She said. "I'll bring him back. But remember... all chaos brought from him is on your head." *gulp*
"Thank you." She stood up and her horn began to glow. Then Dustin was seen sitting on the floor holding a guitar in his hooves.
"Hello." He said calmly. "It's been a thousand years already?" he asked.
"No you were banished yesterday." I told him.
"Who are you?" He asked.
"I am Hindsight. I brought you back Dustin so the future could be a better place."
"You mean you just rewrote the future? It doesn't work that way dude!" he yelled. "What if you cause another Time Paradox!"
"That's the plan." I told him. He put his face in his hooves.
"But what if-" he started to talk then all of the guards from the castle stormed in.
"Halt! How dare you go against your banishment!" yelled the Captain.
"Now look Shining Armor..." started Celestia.
"Guards arrest him!" he yelled. Dustin stood up and looked at Celestia.
"Tia you didn't give me back my wings." he said.
"I know. I'm just thinking..."
"Celestia this is the time to act and help me out here." he said. He was slowly walking away from the army of ponies.
"Guards..." started Celestia. "Put him in the Dungeon." she said.
"What?!" I yelled.
"You bitch!" yelled Dustin taking off for the window. He jumped into the stained glass and held onto a piece which he used as a board of some kind to make his way down the side of the castle. The pegasus guards flew after him.
Dustin's POV
Celestia that bitch! I knew she wouldn't forgive me. And for fucking what?! I saved her sister and her land! She should be kneeling to me god dammit!
"Stop now!" yelled one of the guards. Hmm... No. I grabbed my guitar and slammed it on his head.
"Get in tune!" I yelled at him. Another one appeared on my left. "Strum on this!" I yelled nailing him. The glass I was sliding on was actually really fun. Too bad it was going to destroy the art of Celestia's castle. Oops. I care so fucking little.
"Dustin Shafer! What do you think your doing!" yelled a familiar voice behind me. I turned to see Twilight.
"I'm escaping!" I yelled to her. "Your lovely princess back stabbed me yet again!"
"I can't help that but you need to give up!" she yelled. Let me think about this. The ponies will fear me... and if they fear me... they will want to kill me. I might need to give myself up and let the executioner do his job. Obviously Celestia has no need for me anymore. The glass I was riding started to break as I neared the bottom. I jumped off it and landed in a pile of hay.
"Don't move." said Celestia who teleported to me. She was accompanied by her guards. I got out of the pile and held my hooves up.
"So this is it? Your going to kill me because your scared off me isn't that right!" I yelled at her.
"I just don't want you hurting anyone else."
"But I never hurt anyone to begin with! The only person hurt was me... after I lost Kay." I lowered my head so they wouldn't see me cry. I haven't shown any pain for the past months and I need to keep it bottled up.
"*sigh* Let him go." Celestia said to her guards. I got back on my 4 hooves. "I'm protecting you Dustin. Think about it... what if the ponies fear you?"
"Then they try to kill me."
"That's right."
"Then I'll watch myself." Hindsight teleported beside Celestia. Huh... those two look like they could date. "Thanks kid." I said patting his head.
"I'm not doing this for you." he said. Aw. And I thought I had a new friend. "I'm doing this for the princess." he said. Yep. Pussywhipped.
"And your gratitude can never be repaid." said Celestia nodding at him. He was blushing. D'aww.
"Alright then." I don't know what's going to happen. This idiot just rewrote the future? He's going to cause a paradox and if I know my stories, and I do, then it's probably going to revolve around my death. "You two love doves done?" I asked them making them both blush. Well at least nothing has happened yet.
"HAHAHA!" laughed a maniacal voice. Ah... shit. "I must thank you two." said Discord hugging Celestia and Hindsight. "This paradox has released me from my stone prison. Like you rewrote time." he said walking to me. "And this time I didn't cause the paradox."
"Discord. What are you doing man?" I asked him. Everyone else was scared. He stood beside me but we didn't look at each other.
"I'm just happy to be out. That's all! Say... how's that little redhead?"
"You know the answer to that."
"And you know what's going to happen next?"
"Are you going to try to get every pony to kill me? or are you going to destroy the entire world?"
"I think I'll do something new. What do you think of plan D Celestia?" asked Discord to the princess. How the hell did he get out anyways?
"That's a great idea." Oh no. No no no. He's going to change something around me isn't he? Like last time! He snapped his fingers and I felt my self started to get pulled into the vortex that appeared above me.
"You fucker!" I yelled. The sign I was holding on to began to slowly break. "No!" I lost my grip and began to fly into my eminent doom. "Damn you guys! Especially you Hindsight!" I yelled at the small white pony. "You couldn't just let me live on the moon could you!" He lowered his head and Celestia defended him.
"Your the problem. He's just trying to save us all."
"Go Fuck yourself!" And with that I left. I felt myself just flow like time. Oh great. I fell like Ash from the Army of Darkness. You know what? I am! I am the time traveler! Oh fuck yes! Sure I don't have some creepy old bag lady attacking me but I did just tell Princess Celestia to go fuck herself. That's as good as it's going to get. I looked over and saw my guitar floating.
"Well... buddy." I said to the inanimate object. "It's been fun." I grabbed it and slammed it on the edge of the blue portal I was in sending hourglasses and clocks everywhere. The guitar and I went through the large crack I left and I found myself falling out of the sky.
"Ah fuck me! I hate you guitar!" I yelled throwing it away. I know I'll just l fly and wait I never got my wings back! Bitchtits! As I fell I looked at the world. It was more... tan? Orange? No. Old fashioned. That's it. I'm in the past. I wonder how far. I looked down to see a pool of water so I held my front hooves out to dive. When I landed in it I quickly made about 15 feet depth in the water. I looked around and saw all the fishes. Gob bless cartoons.
"Are you okay?" yelled a green pony wearing a bonnet. It's Granny Smith. Or Apple Smith? Hmm. I must be pretty far back. She doesn't look very young though.
"I'm fine." I said resurfacing. "Just one of those days."
"How did you get yer self up there?" What? Oh right. Earth pony now. Hah. I'm an Earth pony. From Earth. Hah hah.
Yeah. That's all I have to say. Yeah. Really. That's it. No that's not all. I went to my school prom and made a complete idiot of myself. I got on stage. Took the mic and explained to people how much I hate grinding or standing in circles when we should be fucking dancing. So I showed them my moves! (thanks Captain Falcon)
It's been about an hour since I went to past Ponyville. Things have been so nice. Smith here made me the best pie ever. Pie! PIE! PPPIIIIIEEEE!
"What do you think?" she asked.
"I love apple pie. But this is by far The... Best... Pie EVER!" I said chewing on another piece.
"Well help yourself. Theirs plenty of it." The first food I've had since the moon and it's the best food I've ever had. God bless you Karma system! Bless you!
"Thank you." I said wiping a tear. I'm sad because when I eat it all... Their won't be any left! Why cruel Karma system! Why!
Then this is what got me. A teenage red pony and a small orange pony walked in. SQUEE! It's Applejack as a filly! Oh my gosh! Yep. I'm still a brony after all these years.
"Howdy." said Big or uh... Little Mac. No. I don't want to say Little Macintosh. Isn't that the revolver from Fallout Equestria?
"Hello. Big Red." I told him. Yes. Big Red. Like the gum. And if you don't like Big Red then FUCK YOU!
"Hiya mister." said AJ. "What are you doin here?"
"Oh your Granny is helping me out. You see I just got here and she's being really nice and all..."
"I understand." God is she honest. Oh. Now I see. Element detected. She's not wearing her hat. Why?
"Your just the cutest little filly." I told her. "You know what will make you cuter?"
"What?" she asked me. I took a hat from the wardrobe in the living room.
"A Stetson!" I said putting it on her. It fits and *gasp* So CUTE!
"Does it look good?" she asked her brother.
"Wow. It really does." He doesn't have his monotone in his voice yet. Excellent.
"It looks great on you AJ." said Smith. "Keep it. This is a hat from your father." Oh... Oh my. She lost her dad? Oh...
"Thanks Granny." she said hugging Smith. Why do I keep bringing up memories? Seriously. Why? I heard what sounded like a performance of some kind outside. I walked out and far across the apple trees I saw a group of ponies at the school.
On my way their I looked up and saw a rainbow. Dash maybe? No. Then again I'm in the past. So anythings possible. I made it to the school to see a performance on a stage. Their were ponies in costumes decorated with jewels. D'aww. I just want to eat them up. Why? Because they have food costumes. I saw a young Rarity backstage. I didn't want to talk to her so I decided to make my way to town square.
"Phew. I'm out of shape." I said to myself sitting on the bench. I looked around. I must be about 10 or 20 years in the past. I looked over at the building that Sugarcube Corner was going to be and I watched as a younger Mr and Mrs. Cake bought the building from it's previous owner. They said something. Here's what I was able to eavesdrop:
"Should we really adopt a pony?" asked Mr. Cake.
"I'm not ready to give birth and did you see that pink one?"
"The one who lost her family. Your right! She needs one and I think we are the best!"
"I was thinking the same thing." She gave him a kiss. "I really do love you."
Aw... Young love. Seems like a few months ago I was in the same position. Oh wait. I was.
I bought a large piece of bread and looked around me. The sun was shinning beautifully as always and the town was small and quiet. Hmm... I haven't seen Rainbow or Shy but their from Cloudsdale. Twilight's from Canterlot. Shit Canterlot! I need to speak to the past princess!
"Sir!" I yelled to the carriage pony. "How long till Canterlot?" I asked him.
"Sorry Son." I hate people who treat me younger than I am. "I finished my last contract today. You're going to have to hike it."
"How long?"
"If you start running now you might make it in about... a half a day."
"Alright thanks!" I ran up the road to Canterlot. Yes I remember which one it is. As I made my way I looked at the ponies I met on my way up. I saw a magic caravan with a small blue filly. I saw, get this, a father with a violin cutie mark yelling at his daughter with blue hair and goggles. Vinyl Scratch?
"Hey buddy. Take it easy on the kid." I told him.
"And who are you to get in my business! She scratched my record!"
"And in the future her music will be the best." I told him.
"Who are you?" they both looked at me. Shit. I can't tell them I'm Dustin. And I don't want anyone to know my real name.
"I am Ash. Burning Ash." I told him offering a hoof. Bless me and my amazing tongue of lies!
"Whatever." he didn't accept it? Dick! "Why should I let my daughter continue with this?"
"You like money?"
"Yes."
"She's going to make bags of money!" I said. "I've seen it! I've been there! I love her music." I knelled down to her. "Listen Vinyl. Your going to play your bass and everyone will love you." I pulled her goggles down. "Understand?"
"Yeah!" she said enthusiastically. Vinyl is best pony. She brohoofed me. I got a brohoof from the DJ PON3! *gasp* As a kid!
"Bye kid." I said making my way back on the road. I really like that name I just came up with. Why? Because I want to light Celestia's ass up! Burning Ash. Fire. Me likey. You know what? If I make it back to normal times I am not going to hang with the mane 6 anymore. I'm going to take the background ponies and start a revolution! Nah. I wouldn't do that again.
"Can you spare some change?" asked a homeless pony.
"Uh..." I checked my pockets and found a few bits. "Sure here you go."
"Thank you! May the Sun watch over you!" He said. Right. Luna's still evil here.
"Thanks." I said walking away. On my way up I saw a small white unicorn trying to use magic. It was Hindsight. I'm going to kick his ass and teach him a lesson in the future! No... wait. I can't do that. It wasn't his fault. Celestia is the problem. God is she manipulative. Discord is out and I am going to kill him. Not a stone prison. I mean just jam my hooves into his sockets and watch him slowly die.
"Excuse me?" said a familiar elegant voice. I made it to Canterlot by the way. I turned slowly and saw Celestia. Or a younger version of her. She was a little shorter and I think happier. "Your the pony from my dreams!"
"Uh... No I'm not."
"But your are! I saw you in the future with another me and Discord!"
"Oh. Then yes. That's totally me."
"Your not even a pony!"
"Shh shh hey not so loud will ya?"
"Oh I'm sorry. Please excuse me!" I like her better than the future one already. She's more... friendly.
"It's okay. I need to get back to the future anyways."
"What is your name?"
"Its... Burning Ash."
"Oh that explains the cutie mark." I looked back to see a Red Eyeball with a Hourglass in it on fire. That's right. My talent is REVENGE!
"That's right." Then a small purple pony came out from behind her. *gasp* It's TWILIGHT! Oh my... so cute!
"Your from the future. Do you know her?" asked Celestia.
"Twilight Sparkle. The best magic user beside yourself and Luna." I told her. Twilight had that sparkle in her eyes but she still remained quiet. Then Cadence walked over and gave Twilight a hug. She must be the foul sitter. I just thought about something... If Celestia watches the Sun and Luna watches the Moon. Does Cadence watch Twilight?
"Bye." said Cadence taking Twilight away. Celestia had a D'aww face.
"So Princess. What can you do to help me?"
"Nothing."
"Jeez. Way to be like the magic conch."
"The what?"
"Nothing." How do you like it!
"We can..." we were cut off as a portal opened up. Discord and the past Celestia came in with the mane 6.
"I'm surprised you got out of the Time Vortex Dustin." said Discord. "I also learned your true name."
"Don't you dare say it. Let me guess. Static?"
"Yep. He sided with us to hunt you down." Oh fucking perfect. "Time to die Murphy O'Schavver."
"You motherfucker." He began to fly upwards building up a magic charge. I ran towards the mill. It wasn't even that much of a mill. More like a giant wheel. When I climbed on it Discord landed behind me knocking the wheel lose and sending it spinning.
"Time to die!"
"I will fuck you up for calling me Murphy!" Young Tia ran to the side and threw a sword up to me. "Thanks."
"Very well." He summoned a rapier and we began to swing at each other while moving with the wheel.
"Engarde!" I swung another blow but he ducked and gave me a hard kick.
"Hahaha! You can't defeat me! I'm a god!"
"And you can't beat me! Know why?" I asked wiping the blood away from my mouth.
"Oh please do tell."
"Because I'm pissed off!" I threw the sword at him making him block it and fall down giving me time to jump on him and continuously beat him with my hooves. The wheel hit a bump and we both fell inside the wheel as to which I used it to slam his face in. "Like that?"
"Please stop Murphy."
"GRRRRR!" I jumped out of the wheel with him and put his face on the sidewalk. "Bite it." I commanded and he opened his mouth and put his teeth on the cement. Time for the best attack ever. "CURB STOMP!" I smashed his face in with my hoof.
"Alright Murphy." said the future Celestia. "You win. You beat a god. We surrender."
"I never wanted to fight and stop calling me that! It's Dustin okay!"
"Why don't you like that name?" asked Twilight.
"I was born in Ireland. When we left for America they forced our family to change our name. I've been using Dustin my entire life."
"Alright. Do you want to come back?"
"I can't." I told them making them all gasp. "If I do time will be rewritten once again. Maybe I won't exist. Maybe you'll all die. I can't risk that."
"Please come back!" they all cried. I mean cried. As in physical tears. Even Celestia saw the error in her ways. All I wanted to do was survive. It's basic human nature.
"*sigh* fine." I looked at the past Celestia. "Hey. In the future their is a pony named Hindsight. Give him a chance. He totally loves you." I told her. I owe it to the guy. He got me off the moon. He gave me this change to hurt Discord for the other Time Paradox. The guy is nothing but awesome.
"Let's go." said Celestia. She opened a portal and we all went through it. Well not really. They did. I was sent flying when I went inside it.
"Dustin!" yelled Twilight.
"Whoa! I'm fine! Just go!" I tried to catch my self but couldn't do it. "Wait I'm in time! I can change back into a unicorn!" I closed my eyes and tried it. When I opened it I saw the big white horn on my head. "Yes!" I used the magic to hold myself still and make my way to the end of the portal.
1 crash later.
Blackness. That's all I saw. Total darkness. I must have fainted. I opened my eyes to look around. I was in a building with a large hole in the roof showing massive collateral damage. I couldn't hear anything. It was like Saving Private Ryan. More or less. I looked over to see a light gray pony with purple eyes yelling at me. Their was a party going on and I just crashed it. I tried to get up but I just now notice the pipe that impaled my left side. Yep. They did it. They took my kidney.
"Don't move!" yelled the pale blue pony with multi-shaded blue hair. Vinyl? "Just stay down!" She was brushing the back off my head. Least I can hear again.
"Is it bad?" I asked her.
"It's horrible! Please don't move!" I closed my eyes one more time and opened them to see I was in a hospital. Really? That fast?
"Are you okay?!" yelled the nurse.
"I'm fine. Stop yelling." I looked down to see lots of stitches.
"Your very lucky. Why were you skydiving to begin with?"
"I wasn't. I was going through the portal. Celestia must hate me."
"She's never meet you probably." What? "When was this?"
"It was... March... 27 2012."
"Sugar. It's June 30 2011."
"Oh no way! It's my birthday!"
"Well congrats. You get to spend it in the hospital." Aw... Then I looked over to see a worried Octavia and Vinyl Scratch.
"Sorry guys." I told them.
"Are you okay?" they asked me.
"No. But I'll recover." Oh god. My eyes are closing again. Going to faint. No!
Yes! Back on track! This is going to be so awesome! Dustin is back in the game and this time with a clear conscious.
I got out of the hospital early for good behavior. No LOL JK! I had Vinyl and Octavia carry me out in a cello bag. Victory my name is... hold on. I looked down to see my cutie mark changed AGAIN. It shouldn't do that! Now it was a guitar with double quaver note on it. I love the bass guitar! I am now Bass Strings! Yes!
"Almost there." whispered the DJ. If I make it out of this I am so hitting on that. Vinyl Scratch is best pony. Maybe we can play some Homage! (If you don't get the fallout equestria joke than that's why you should read this caption.)
"Quiet." said Octavia. We made it out of the hospital and they made their way outside. "Hindsight where are you?" asked Octavia to her self. Then the white pony came around with a carriage.
"Get in." They did as was said and they put me in beside the window and Vinyl got beside me.
"Unzip me please." I asked her. She used her magic to unzip the bag I was in an the carriage took off for some destination unknown. "Thanks for getting me out of there guys."
"Welcome." they all said.
"Now why were you falling in the sky?" asked Octavia.
"Well..."
20 minutes later
"That was the most amazing story I have ever heard." said Vinyl. She kept looking at me like she admired me. Sweet!
"Yes. Hindsight have you gotten around the princess yet?" I asked him.
"No! How do you know about me!"
"Like I said I was in the future and past."
"So Bass. Tell us more about yourself." said Vinyl. Octavia stopped looking out a window. I am now an official background pony. Wonderful! This is great! Now I'm no longer the star! Hip hip hooray!
"Let's see. I am a unicorn who came from far away. I made the princess mad and Hindsight. You caused a time paradox releasing Discord from his stone prison. He sent me back in time in which I defeated him. At a cost. I am still partly in the past so no one knows me and I lost my guitar." I thought to myself for a second.
Flashback
"Fuck you!" I threw the guitar away.
End of Flashback
"Yep. Discord did it. He took my guitar away." I let out a breath of relief knowing that everything would end up good. Yep. Not a thing will go wrong. The carriage stopped and we got out to a large flat somewhere in the back of Ponyville. Must be there place. Sweet!
"So Bass." asked Octavia. "Do you have anyplace to stay?"
"Sure I-" I chocked on my breath and thought to myself. "I-I... I don't."
"You can stay here!" said Hindsight. We pushed me inside and closed the door. The place was far bigger than the house I was in. Inside was Derpy Hooves and Doctor Hooves? Huh. Oh... OH! I see! Hooves! Like Mr and Mrs. Cake! Mr. and Mrs... Hooves? OH GOD!
"Hello traveler!" said the Doctor.
"Hey Doc."
"Glad to see you remember me."
"Finally someone who remembers me!" Oh thank god.
"Well most of you. You do look different since last time." What? Did I change again? Yeah I have white fur and a different cutie mark but what could be so bad? Where's the mirror?
"Hey Scratch. Where's the mirror?"
"Bathroom down the hall." I ran down to it and looked in the mirror. My eyes were bright red and my hair was spiked black and red. Oh my god... I look like a badass! Shit just got real! Also I wasn't as white before. More... Gray? Or Yellowish white. Something like that. Still I'm pretty cool.
"Your right Doc. I do look different."
"I might add better." he said.
"Thanks." I just noticed something. I have nothing! No suit of armor! No money because I gave what little I had to a hobo and no home! I had better work something out with the girls here. Vinyl is nice... No no no! I can't do that! She is too cute and innocent to be with someone like me and... Wait. I haven't killed anyone yet! Oh shit I'm innocent! I can turn a new leaf! Hallelujah!
"You alright Bass?" asked Vinyl. "You look like you just found out the greatest secret of you life or something."
"Right... Hehehe... I did nothing wrong is all."
"Oookay. We don't have any spare rooms." she said. "Sorry."
"Nah don't sweat it. Couches have always treated me right." I jumped on the loveseat and felt my stress leave my back. And side where I had stitches.
"Don't sleep there!" said Vinyl "I mean... don't you want a bed?" she said with a blush. Octavia gave her a pat on the back and whispered 'Good Luck.' She blushed some more and pulled her glasses down so I couldn't see her red magenta eyes.
"You offering me your bed Vinyl?" I asked her.
"I-I uh..." She tried to say something but couldn't so Derpy came over.
"She says yes." putting a comforting arm around her. Vinyl closed her mouth and waited for my answer.
"Of course I will sleep with you. I owe you anyways." She had this look like I told her the news of her life. Say your in a hospital with cancer. The doctor comes in. He says you'll live a long and healthy life. That was basically her face. Has she never been with anyone before?
"Thanks!" she said quickly dashing upstairs. I heard her and Octavia giggle. Girls will be girls. I looked over at Doctor Hooves and made a motion so I could talk with him in private leaving Derpy and Hindsight to have their conversation.
"So Doctor. Derpy huh?"
"Yes. She is by far the most amazing and bubbly subject I have been with." Well that explains the bubbles on her rump.
"Great! So since I'm in the past everything's still the same right?"
"Well... Not really." he told me. Oh no.
"What? What!"
"The other you and your friends here. Static and whoever else... they don't exist now."
"What! How is that possible!"
"The Paradox erased all things you impacted."
"Then why is the world still intact?"
"This world was always real. You were just the first to find it."
"Okay. So no friends. They didn't have any kids... and what about the Elements?"
"They have been living their lives like normal. It's as if you never came here to begin with." I let my body just rest. So now everything's going according to the show. Well... now I have 5 new friends. That's it! We shall now be the main cast! Background ponies here us roar!
"Alright. Time for new beginnings?"
"That's right." he said. This isn't so bad... you know? *gasp* The mane 6 don't know me! Meaning they don't know what to expect! Perfect revenge ideas being created in my mind as we speak. Excellent.
"I'm tired." I told him yawning.
"Alright. See you later good pal." I went upstairs. Octavia left her room door open and she was taking her bow tie thing choker off. She turned to see me and squealed while running to close to her door. I then went to the next room which had a blue door and a large record painted on it. Vinyl Scratch here I come. Or should I say Cum? AH! AH! *sigh* I'm not going to fuck her on the first night we met.
I opened the door to see her already on the right side of the bed. Her glasses were on the dresser and she was silently sleeping. I quietly made my way over to her and got in the other side of the bed. Not a sound was made that night. This felt familiar. Like... true love? My heart was pounding and my body was quitting on me due to fatigue. Not even Kay made me feel this way. Huh... I've been looking for love in all the wrong places.
I closed my eyes for one second and opened them to see Vinyl laid out beside me and snuggling me. She was so adorable! Just one kiss! NO! I need to stop thinking like that. Just let her sleep. *le gasp* She took advantage of me! Clever. Very clever indeed. Time for sleep.
I was in a candy land of some kind. Ugh I hate sweets. I looked over to see a bunch of candy people.
"Hi I'm Strawberry Tartcake." She was a pop tart?
"I'm Randy Raffle." Oh I get it. Black waffle with a lisp. And guess what more of them kept on coming.
"Look everyone! Flesh!" said Strawberry with all her candy friends. I kicked a large candy cane knocking it down and picking it up as a weapon.
"Back! Back! Back you frosted freaks!" Before I could destroy them and eat their remains I felt something pull me out of my dream. I woke up to see Vinyl's head further up my chest and she was hugging around me. This exactly what I want a woman to do to me when I go to sleep. Guess what Kay never did. Anything as cute as this. Then her alarm clock went off waking us both completely up.
"*yawn* Morning." I said.
"Morning."
"Sleep good?"
"Yes! Some of the best sleep in my life actually."
"Me as well. Did I make a good pillow?"
"What? Oh!" He face went to a fast red. "Don't tell anyone please!"
"I won't on one condition."
"What is it? Anything?!" She said begging. Time to close the deal.
"You let me sleep here again tonight."
"Oh yes!" she threw her arms out wanting a hug. Of course I accepted it. I may be a psycho but I never pass on a free hug.
"Great." I kind of want to go back to that dream. How many cavities can you get when you eat an entire group of candy people? Let's find out. 1... 2... 3...
"Let's get up." she said forcing me out of the comfortable bed. She made the covers and grabbed her glasses.
"What are we going to do today?" I asked her.
"We're going to see Pinkie Pie. She has a gig available for me."
"Oh! That's right! Pinkie is the party master! I need to get a new instrument."
"You play Bass guitar right?" she asked.
"Yes. Don't forget I can play all guitars! You know... Bass, Acoustic, Electric.. you name it."
"That will go great with my jamming." She said jamming! Hahaha! I always wanted to hear someone else beside me say that.
"Alright! Let's Jam!" I finally get to say it! Fuck yes! I love you forces of all that is good and righteous. I love you!
"Bass your crying." said Vinyl.
"I'm just so happy." I was telling the forces how much I love them. Of course I'm going to cry.
"Aw... thanks then." She grabbed my hoof and we walked into the hallway slowly. I bumped into Hindsight.
"Did things go good?" he mouthed to me.
"It went great! Your now my new best-est best friend ever!" I mouthed to him. He smiled and nodded accepting his victory.
This is the best thing that has happened to me since I came to this demented world. I picked up a chick in just one day! And I can get back to playing guitar! Or Saxophone! It's a fact that the saxophone is the sexiest instrument ever. I also know drums, tambourine, chimes, and keyboard. It's good to be musically talented like me!
2. The only pony who has remembered me so far is Doctor Hooves.
3. Celestia might not hate me. When I tole her to date Hindsight I must have caused another paradox changing everything. Nice! This might actually turn out better than before!
4. Vinyl Scratch!
5. I'm hitting on #4.
6. Did I mention I'm going to date Vinyl? I am!
7. I'm hungry.
"Hey Bass." said Vinyl. "What are you going to do now?"
"You know... I don't know." What am I going to do? Sure I could just settle down with Vinyl and play guitar for a living. No way man! I can do my old childhood dream! Be a star! Oh Fuck yes!
"You could hang with us for a while." she said.
"You know what? I think I will." Oh I can't wait to fuck with Twilight and her friends. They don't know me. Also Celestia had that change of heart right their at the last minute... Why? It was like right after I beat Discord she changed. Pfft! Yeah right. Like Celestia was under a spell. That's not possible.
"Hey Vinyl!" said Pinkie as we approached her counter at the Corner. "Ooh. Who's your friend?"
"I am... Lothar of the hill people!" I told her. They both looked at me like I was crazy. "Just kidding. I am Bass Strings." I kind of like that name. Bass I mean. Not Lothar. This isn't WOW or anything like that. Well... except for the magic and occasional dragon. Wait! Speaking of dragons Spike must still be here! It's as I thought! Me changing the past must have made the future a better place. Odd... all it took was one sentence.
"Hey Bass. What are you doing?" asked Vinyl.
"I'm thinking. Why?"
"Your eyebrow is twitching." Dammit why does everyone notice that? Oh well. "What are you thinking about?"
"Twilight Sparkle. I need to ask her something." I said. I walked towards the library and opened the door. When I got their no one greeted me. I saw the purple unicorn in a pile of books reading and Spike sleeping in a chair. Good. He's still here.
"Ahem." I said quietly. They didn't hear me. "AHEM!" They both shot up and stared at me.
"Sorry about that. I am Twilight Sparkle. Are you here to check out a book Mr.?" She didn't recognize me. It was as I feared. Eeyup. Guess I'm the lone wolf now.
"Strings. Bass Strings." I told her.
"I see. Explains the guitar symbol huh?"
"Yeah." She is so fucking clever. Who would have guessed that my talent was the guitar due to my cutie mark? Only Twilight Sparkle could figure out the obvious. "I'm just looking around. New to town."
"We heard about your crash at the party last night?"
"What party?"
"Rainbow Dash's birthday party." Oh... fuck. Not going to live that one down will she? *sigh* I'm in the past and I already piss off Rainbow. That's a new record.
"Don't know her." I lied!
"Right. Well I hope you like your stay." She then turned to speak to Spike. I left the building so I could eavesdrop on them outside. I didn't even get to ask for a book.
"I've never seen a pony like that before." she said. I still have my scars. And sure the black and red isn't... normal. But being a goody goody two shoes isn't my style. Also... you want to know what got me? Static was gone. Didn't see him or the others. The Doctor was right. I prevented them from coming here. Meaning no marriages... no kids... and no existence of me.
"Relax Twilight. Their are plenty of weirdos like him out their." Oh really? I had better break the ice I like Vinyl to her before this gets out of hand... hoof. I'm sticking with hand.
"Well... time to hit the old Dusty trail." I said popping my back and walking away without alerting them. Like a Snake! (See what I did their?)
"Hey Bass." said Vinyl as I walked up. If she keeps saying that It might stick. Hey! I could get Sight to make me forget all my memories! But why the hell would I do that?
"Hey Scratch." I said patting her on the head. "I finished my talk."
"Good good. Oh just a head's up. Rainbow Dash might be pissed at you."
"Twilight told me the same thing. Who's Rainbow Dash?" I asked with my fake idiot attitude.
"I am!" said a voice behind me. I turned to see the pony herself.
"Hello... uh... Rainbow? Is it? Sorry about the whole falling through the ceiling during the party thing. No hard feelings?" I asked her.
"Why should I forgive you?"
"Because I didn't chose to be sent free falling." That was technically true. I could have just appeared on a bench or a couch but NNNOOO! I had to fall from the sky.
"Whatever. Just stay out of my way." Yes! Situation defused! Like a bomb!
"Yes ma'am." I said saluting her. She rolled her eyes and took off. I turned back to Vinyl. "Well that went well." I told her.
"Yes it did. Pinkie got us a gig!"
"Sweet where?"
"Get this... Canterlot Castle." I think my heart just skipped a beat. Oh... oh no. Great. Just who I want to talk to. The Princess. I wonder... is Luna back? Twilight's at the library so it must be past the first episode. That's a sign at least.
"That's great." I said with a fake smile. Celestia had better have changed. If not... then my new life will be ruined.
"You okay?" she asked. No I'm fine. I just need to work on my fibbing skills.
"Yeah! I just need to get my instrument." I said. "I'll be back at the house in a little bit." I told her. She smiled and left. Good. She's gone. Now I can think properly. I made my way to the park and took a seat across the lake. The sun was setting and everypony was going to sleep. I breathed slowly and quietly.
"Alright. I need to get over it. All of my memories haven't happened. Meaning I can change the world for the better. With music." Then the headstock and neck of a guitar popped out of my chest with purple fire sounding it.
Dustin has gained the ability of Acceptance. I'm a Pilgrim!
I grabbed the instrument and pulled it out my chest. It was a mystical guitar that was white with black runes and markings surrounding it. Odd... their were no strings.
"Hello Dustin." said the guitar.
"Shit!" It scared me and I dropped it.
"Ow! Watch it!" he sounded like me.
"Of course I sound like you. I'm your conscience." Did he read my mind? "I didn't read your mind."
"What the fuck! This is so cool! Can anyone else hear you?" I asked it.
"Nope. Just you. And if you don't want to look like a freak we should talk with our minds."
'Got it.' I said in my head. I looked down to notice I was wearing a black harness with a slot on the back for me to place the guitar in it. The straps magically moved and strapped it down when I placed it on my back. 'Huh. Why don't you have any strings?'
'Because I can change them. Just think about a Bass or Electric or whatever and I'll change.'
'Nice.'
'That's not all. I'm also a weapon. But we'll go over that another day.'
'Whoa shit! Your a weapon! But I thought I wouldn't have to kill anymore!'
'You might. It's just a precaution.'
'Your right. Thanks.'
'Oh your more than welcome. You die then I die. See?'
'I see. What's your name?'
'I don't really have one. Hey wait... we both know the bible. Let's use code names.'
'I'll name you Clementine.'
'And I'll dub you Eddie Riggs.' said the guitar with a small chuckle. 'This isn't Brutal Legend. Think more... biblical. I want a bible name you idiot.'
'Alpha?'
'Yeah! Alpha sounds badass!'
"Hell yeah!" I yelled out loud. I looked at all the ponies I scared. "Oops." I quickly made my way around them and to the back alleys of town. This is so fucking cool. I looked at myself in a window reflection. I looked like a complete hardcore rocker.
'Now Dustin. I know what your thinking.'
'How I have to see the princess?'
'Yes. She shouldn't remember us. That paradox you did worked perfectly.'
'But at what cost?'
'Too big of a cost if you ask me.'
'Right. Well Omega. What do you think of Vinyl?'
'Ah dude! She's so cool. Besides who wants to date the mane 6?'
'Any other brony.'
'Hahaha! True true. Dude she's perfect.'
'Thanks.'
'You pick up chicks pretty quick dude.'
'Far out man.'
'I want a smoke.'
'Me too. But I'll settle for a drink.'
'Sweetness!' I went to this bar in the far back of town. When I got their and took my seat most ponies looked at me.
"What?" I said.
"Your the cat who crashed the party yesterday huh?" asked the barkeep.
"Maybe. Whose asking?"
"I am. That was pretty sick dude!" He said making everyone in the bar cheer. "What's your name?"
"I'm Bass Strings."
"Sick guitar." said some random pony behind me.
"You know it!" I said getting more whoops in the air. "Get me the strongest whiskey please Mr...?"
"I am Tough Brew." Hah. Hah hah. HAHAHAHAHAHA! My guitar and I were laughing in our heads. He was born to make us beer! That's hilarious!
"Good to meet ya." I said taking the glass he poured me and drinking about half of it.
"On the house my man. We all hate that bragging rainbow pony. You stood her up on her birthday."
"I agree. I love being a Boast Buster." I finished the whiskey. It was the best damn drink I've had in forever! "Another!" I asked him.
"Oh so the cool cat things he can handle his drink?" he asked.
"The cat thinks he can handle anything! A round for everybody!" I yelled and all the guys got up and cheered and danced. It's Ireland all over again. But with a cool bartender with a great attitude. He's like the one cool black guy you want to be your best-est friend because he's probably had a similar life. Also he called me a cat. That's pretty rad.
"Cheers for the new guy!" they all said raising a glass. I raised mine and we all drank to our hearts content.
1 hour later
"This is my favorite bar ever!" I said walking outside. "I'll be back again!"
"Come back anytime!" said the barmaid. They closed the door and I was only half drunk. That's right. I am the master at drinking.
'Alright Alpha. How did I do?'
'You drank about 3 pitchers and your not drunk. That's pretty good.'
'Can you taste it?'
'Yeah dude! I can't get drunk though.'
'I'm about to.' He laughed and I found my way walking towards my new home. When I got their everyone was at the table about ready to eat.
"Hey you made it." said Octavia. I looked over and saw two new ponies in the house. Lyra and Bon-Bon. Right...
"Yeah. Had to pick this baby up and then I stopped for a drink." They all smiled and offered me a seat at the table. It was a full table with all of us in it. "So Tavi. You cook?"
"Yes. Since no one else here possible can." They all chuckled and scratched their heads. Octavia went to everyone's plate and gave them some eggs, and muffins. But... no bacon. This is a sin!
'Hey Dustin. Pop some eggs in man! I'm starving!'
'How can you be hungry. I'm the one starving... oh. Well... Shut up!'
'BWAHAHAHA!'
'If you don't stop I'll put some wood stain on you.'
'*gasp* You wouldn't dare!'
'I hear that stain works great to cover white.'
'You win this time. Now. EAT!'
"This is great Octavia." I said stuffing my mouth with an entire egg. She giggled and took her seat at the table quietly eating. The girls took their time eating while the Doctor, Hindsight, and I played an eating challenge.
"I'm not gonna lose!" said Sight.
"Suck it Bitch!" I told him as I finished off my muffin.
"Sorry lads. But I'm the lucky lady tonight." said the Doctor finishing off the last of his plate. I still had a large chunk left and Sight was nearly their. We both closed are eyes and lowered our heads in defeat.
"Damn." said Vinyl. I stopped eating for a second to let my stomach do its job and I saw Sight pick up his fork and stab his eggs.
"Hey hey. Sight don't do that."
"Why shouldn't I?"
"You can see in the future. Trust me. Eat that and you'll be in the bathroom all night."
"Is their something wrong with my cooking?" asked Octavia.
"No. This is great! I'm just telling him that since we ate a lot that if he eats some more than... well... game over."
"Whatever." He said putting the fork in his mouth.
2 minutes later
"Aah! Ah! Ow ow ow!" said Sight while in the bathroom. We were all laughing outside at his misery.
"I did warn him."
"Hey Bass." said Derpy. "We haven't gotten to speak a lot."
"No we haven't Derpy." I took a seat on the couch. "So how's the Doc and you working out?"
"Great!" she held her hoof out to show a golden bracelet. "See?"
"Whoa! Getting married!" The Doctor walked over and planted a large kiss on her lips.
"That's right. It's next month by the way." He said.
"Well Congratulations!" I said standing up and pulling them both in for a hug. "This is great news for me!"
'Love is in the air tonight.'
'It's going to be a good night.' I said in my head.
'It's gonna be a good good night.'
'You know this would be good if our voice didn't sound white and old.'
'That's one way to describe it. And that's your voice. I'm more happier than you.'
'I've noticed. This whole conscious thing is really cool. Are you sure your real?'
"Well... that or your crazy."
"What does our relationship remind you of Alpha?'
'I'm thinking Bleach.'
'Your not a zanpaktou.'
'Yeah. I'm a real thing.'
'Good point.' I turned to Lyra and Bon-Bon. They are my friends now.
"So guys. Who are you dating?" I asked them.
"Wait..." started Lyra. "You don't think that we're dating?" she asked pointing to her friend.
"Now what kind of guy would I be if I just accused you two of dating."
"Most people do. Oh... Uh... yeah. We are dating by the way." said Bon-Bon receiving a sweet loving kiss from Lyra.
'It's like our fanfiction dreams are coming true.' said Alpha.
'What fanfic do you read? I don't read any drama!'
'Dustin. Dude. I'm your thoughts. It's okay to cry.'
'Is it?'
'Not really.' He said finishing our talk.
"Hey Bass. I'm getting tired." said Vinyl.
"Alright. I'll be up in a minute." She went upstairs.
'Breakfast for dinner and a babe to boot.' I said in my head.
'Whoa. What did we learn from our past relationships?'
'Take it slow?'
'Take it slow.'
'Thanks Alpha.'
'No prob.' I turned to look at the others.
"I'm going to bed. Night guys." I walked upstairs and went inside Vinyl's room. She was on her side putting her glasses up and opening the bed sheets.
"Hey. Just in time. I need my pillow." I took off Alpha and placed him beside the dresser.
"D'aw. Someone actually needs me." I said to myself. I went to my side and got in the bed and laid on my back.
"Thanks Bass. Do you like me?" she asked looking at me with puppy dog eyes.
"Of course I do. Your being the best friend to me right now."
'You do know she means love right?' asked Alpha.
'I know. I just want to see how far I can go.'
"No. Bass I mean... like like... as in..." she couldn't finish. Her blush covered her whole face and she couldn't look me straight in the eye.
"Vinyl. If you want to date then you don't need to tell me twice." I told her.
"Really!" her face shot up and her emotion went from worry to pure happiness. "OH thank you thank you thank you!" she said pulling in for a hug and laying on my chest.
"No problem." I said. She closed her eyes and made her self comfortable. Sweet! Got a date. Oh god she's so soft and warm... I'm gonna pass out. I felt my eyes close and my body loosen up. This is love.
Let's see... I'm pretty sure that their should be a season 3 starting late 2012. Honestly this whole Apocalypse thing had better not happen. I need my ponies!
'HAHAHA!' Alpha began laughing again.
'So you find this funny?' I asked him.
'I didn't know a pop tart could die like that.'
'Stupid candy people.'
'I hate sweets.'
'Don't we all?' Then a identical version to me walked out behind a tree from the dream world.
'Just you. Come on! Why don't you eat any?'
'You can. You have a mouth don't you?' He had black fur and hair and the red was brighter. Other than that he looked a lot like me.
'I'm going to try that. Oh hey. Time to get up.'
'Alright.' I left the candy dream and woke up in my bed. Vinyl was still asleep on my chest and looked over at the alarm clock. It went off quickly after I woke up. Good timing.
"Morning." said Vinyl rubbing her red eyes. "Is it 8 already?"
"It is. I need to get to the bathroom." I got out of the bed and went inside the bathroom so I could... do business with my body. And by that... *sigh* alright there isn't anything funny about telling a lie to cover your poop. When I was done I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. There was a small me on my right shoulder.
'Hey buddy.' it said.
'Hey Alpha. Did you eat?'
'I did! You were right!'
'Glad you liked it.' Then we both heard this CREEK noise. 'What was that?' I asked him.
'Nothing.'
CCCRRRREEEKKK
"Shit!" I said out loud as I fell through the floor. I landed in the living room somehow. "Oof!" I crashed right beside the soft couch and landed on the glass coffee table.
"Are you alright!" cried Octavia.
"I'm fine Tavi. Just... I think this house is old." I pointed to the hole I made. "I didn't do that."
"I know. We need to get a new house."
'Great.' I said. "Wait! Alpha! I have an idea!'
'Let me hear it.'
'Alright. Hindsight loves Celestia. Right?'
'Yes.'
'And we need a new house.'
'Oh my god your a genius!'
'Thank you kindly.'
"Octavia I have a good idea!"
Hindsight's POV
I awoke due to a loud crashing noise and what sounded like someone grunting in pain downstairs. I decided to check it out.
On my way down I heard talking and what sounded like a couple of giggles.
"Alright. I'll do my deal. You do yours." said Bass.
"Sure thing." She offered him a brohoof as to which he accepted.
"Uh... who fell through the roof?" I asked them.
"I did. Now come with me Sight. We're going to see someone." He told me.
"Who?"
"Consider it a blind date." He told me. With who?
"With who?"
"It's a blind date." Right. Duh. I knew that. He then ran upstairs and came back down later with his guitar. "Ready?"
Dustin's POV
'Alright. Alpha what's the quickest way to Canterlot?' I asked the voice.
'I'd say... teleportation. Don't forget that your a unicorn now.'
'Right.'
'You think this plan with Sight and the Princess is going to work?'
'Nope! But let's hope for the best.' I turned to the white unicorn and put a blindfold on him.
"Whoa! Hey what gives!" he yelled.
"Just trust me on this one." I grabbed onto him and teleported myself to Canterlot. I just need Octavia and the others to convince Celestia to come to the restaurant. "Alright. Now I'll take you to the place for your date."
"Bass I'm confused! Come on! Just take off the fold and tell me where to walk."
"I know Canterlot better than you." I told him. I pushed the lucky guy into a building saying 'Best fancy food in town!'. It had better be. I put him in a seat and waited a few minutes.
"Bass. Can we go home now?" he asked me.
"So you can watch TV? No." Then Vinyl and the girls came in with Celestia. She took a seat across from him and winked at me. I made a motion for her to talk to me later as to which she nodded. "Alright. Hindsight ready to meet your date?"
"Who would want to date me *gasp*" He stopped when I took the blindfold off of him. He sat their heart-struck and frozen with excitement. Yes. He was excited. That's seems like the proper word to use. "Celestia? Your here!... but I... Your..."
"Shh It's okay Sight. I came here to meet you." Yes! "Your a very nice pony." YES! "I have been thinking about you for a long time." FUCK YES! The girls grabbed me and started to walk outside.
"No wait! I want to see what happens!" I tried to get their attention but they were looking in each others eyes. We went outside and took seats at the benches. "So know we just wait?" I asked them.
"Yes. You saw how they looked at each other." said Octavia.
"Right. Seems like it's going to take a while." I put my head back on Vinyl's shoulder and decided to talk to Alpha.
'Alright Dustin. Let's think. You did just put together yet again another couple.'
'It's what I do.'
'How do we know this is going to work?'
'We don't! That's the best part!'
'... Uh...'
'It's okay Alpha. I give it... about... 24 minutes.'
24 minutes later
Celestia and Sight came out of the restaurant talking to each other and sharing a laugh.
'CALLED it!'
'Shut it.'
'Aw...'
"So when do we get a home?" asked Derpy.
"One does not simply get a home." I told her.
'Thanks!' was what Hindsight mouthed to us. Then they teleported away.
"No no no no!" I tried to stop them. "That's not part of the plan."
"I may have told her a bit too much." said Octavia with a giggle.
"I said only tell her to date Sight! What more could you tell her?"
"The entire plan. She said some pony in the past told her to date Hindsight and she wasn't going to pass this up."
"Jeez. I just hope their going to work out." I began to think to myself.
'Want some lunch?' I asked Alpha.
'Kinda. Let's all grab a bite then go to the castle.'
'Good plan man.'
"Hey guys." I told everyone "Let's all get some lunch then visit them."
"Sweet." said Derpy. "But who's paying?" Uh oh. I don't have any money.
"I have an idea."
1 long walk and lunch later.
We finished our food and none of us were capable of paying. I told them all to wait outside while I handled it.
"Alright sir." said the Cashier. "That will be 47 bits." What the fuck!
"Alright. Hold on..." I pretended to reach for my wallet when I noticed the potions in the room behind him. "Hey can I get a love potion to go?" I asked him.
"Sure. Wait here." Oh thank god that worked. He went into the back room and I ran outside leaving a note on the counter.
"Come back here you crook!" he yelled behind me. I left him an I. O. U. What more do you want? Well... besides real money.
'Run boy run!' yelled Alpha. I made my way back to my friends and we all took off towards the castle.
"Was this your plan!" yelled Octavia.
"*pants* Only about half of it." I said.
"What do you mean half?" asked Vinyl. Then the royal guard appeared in front of us stopping us. With them... Celestia and Hindsight.
"Theirs the other half *pant*" I stopped running. Now that I got their attention we can talk. "Hey Princess."
"Hello..." Come on. Use your mind reading powers on me. "Bass." Good job. "Hindsight was just telling me how your group was in need of a better home and jobs." I couldn't help but smile sheepishly.
"You know me so well." Maybe she remembers me. Then again me from the past. She winked at Sight (AAAWWW YYYEEEAAAAHHHH!) and teleported us all to the castle. We all landed in the throne room.
"Please make yourselves at home." said Celestia only looking at Sight. I waved at her and stomped the floor a few times not getting an answer.
'She's ignoring us!' said Alpha.
'I know! Maybe she won't mind if I do this?' I walked over casually to a vase and knocked it down shattering it. All the guards gasped and looked at me. She, however, didn't move a muscle.
"Castle Crashers!" I yelled. No one moved at all.
"Bass. I expect you to clean that up." said Celestia.
"Yes ma'am." I said going to the closet grabbing a broom and dustpan.
'Nice. Real nice.' said Alpha.
'Shut it!'
'Be careful. Trollestia sees all.' he warned.
'As long as I don't have to go back up to the moon. Was I seriously up their for a thousand years?'
'Are you an idiot?'
'Maybe.'
'I don't know. I think we were.'
'Excellent!' I finished sweeping up the mess and used my magic to put the vase back together.
"Good job Bass." said Vinyl. "You really were a top performance."
"Ha ha. So funny." I looked over at Celestia and Hindsight. "For the love of all that is holy!" I got on my knees. "Just kiss her already!" They both looked at me finally and back to each other. "Come on..." I said to myself.
Sight moved a little closer.
'Come on Sight. Finish it!' said Alpha.
'Do it! Do it! Do it!' Celestia moved a little closer to him as well. They were locked in each others eyes.
"Celestia. I have never felt this way before." said Hindsight. What did they do when we weren't around?
'I don't know.' said Alpha.
'What did I say about reading my thoughts?'
'Can't help it.'
'Alright. I think Big Mac is super attractive.'
'NNNOOOO! Stop! Your filling my head with images!' he cried
'... you have a head?'
"I haven't felt love in a very long time." said Celestia.
'Oh right!' I said in my head. 'She's thousands of years old!'
'She must have found love before!' said Alpha.
'...'
'... I feel like an asshole now.'
'Please. No one has felt the cold hand of love like us.' While we were stuck in your head conversation we forgot to pay attention to the action right next to us.
"Hey what do you guys think of... Oh my..." They were definitely french kissing. "Well... Your a boss Sight!" I yelled before being dragged away by my other friends. "What gives?"
Well... my life went from shit to one less friend shitty. I just pissed of this one girl who's been a bitch for a long time and now she's ignoring me and getting an entire school against me. Thing is I'm more popular! We shall start a war! This is... Justice!
'Alpha... I have a question.'
'Shoot away.'
'Alright. Your my conscious so you should have an opinion on this. I think Hindsight made our life better.'
'Well... if losing a bunch of friends counts then yes.'
'Please... they were all dicks anyways.'
'True that. Listen. You got me and Vinyl now.'
'Thanks bud.' I looked at the pale white unicorn beside me looking around the castle with all her friends. I didn't need to pay attention since I knew the place inside and backwards.
"Hey Vinyl." I asked her. "Do you mind if I go to town? I need to check on something." I asked her.
"Sure. Make it back safe." She said. Her friends were to busy eyeballing the castle to notice me leave. I looked around Canterlot. Not as much technology. It was just the peaceful large town from the cartoon. It was... perfect. At least for an old style guy like me.
'Yo Alpha! Since when was everything so...'
'So normal? Look at this shit! Not a single person wants us dead.'
'I know. Is it wrong to mess that?'
'A little. It's just that we're so use to fighting.'
'I think I would be the best gang leader ever.'
'Like the Godfather?'
'Like the Godfather... Only... I would get shit done.' I stopped as I looked at the empty place in front of us.
'Dusty? Wasn't the crib there?'
'It was...' There was nothing! 'there. Alpha. I'm not use to this new life yet.'
'Let's just enjoy it.'
'Thanks buddy.' I decided to look around and see if anything is different.
Let's see...
1. No coffee shop! What! Where am I suppose to get my Joe!
2. I didn't see any griffons or stallions. Great. Not even a war for me to take place in.
3. No one recognized me.
'I feel like Ezio right now.' I said to Alpha.
'Tell me about it. I just thought of something.'
'What?'
'We've been here for... a few days. And you just made a move on Vinyl. Hindsight is fucking the princess on day one of their date.'
'Damn! He does move fast!'
'That's what I'm saying! I've never seen fast love.'
I stopped walking because this large wagon randomly appeared in front of me.
"Watch were your walking!" yelled the blue pony controlling it. The wagon unpacked into a stage of sorts and she came out wearing a hat and cape with stars on it. Yep. Trixie.
"Ello." I said calmly.
"Whats the big idea? Are you trying to mess with the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
"Why do you speak in third person."
"Trixie doesn't know what your talking about."
"See? Their you go again."
"Whatever. Trixie doesn't need to waste her time with an idiot like you." Oh no she didn't! That does it. I walked over to her wagon and saw this one big screw between the wheel axles. She's going to need that.
'Thinking of what I'm thinking?' I asked the voice in my head.
'Do it. I've always hated Trixie.'
'Yeah. I mean she's cool and all but too... boastful.'
I grabbed the screw when she wasn't near me and walked away casually.
"Enjoy your stay Trixie." I said out loud.
"Trixie doesn't need your advice. Humph." She turned her head and got back on her wagon. "All I need is some groceries then I'm of to Ponyville." She said a little out loud. Loud enough for me to hear... How far back in time am I?
'Alpha... I think we're at the beginning of season 1.'
'I can't remember. Too many ponies.'
"AAAGGGHHH!" I turned to watch the wagon go flying down hill and make it's way to Ponyville. Then the wheels popped off and it sled down hill. The entire town was quiet.
'PFFFT! BWAHAHAHAHA!' I looked at the laughing black and red pony on my shoulder. "What? That's old humor!'
'Now that I think of it. It is funny... Let's get to the castle. There must be something we can do there.'
'Good plan man.' He said putting his arms behind his head and summoning a floating hammock to lay in. 'You do that.'
A few minutes of walking later... Wait... Can't I teleport? God I'm an idiot. Whatever! I went to the castle and made it in time for dinner. I didn't really like it. When I want a dinner... I want a small table with me and my friends in it. Not 20 fucking people I don't know! Also I had to leave Alpha in my room. He still kept the small pony form on my shoulder though.
"Bass." said Celestia. "These are guest."
"And so are we." I said back moving back in my seat. When I did Luna smacked me in the back of the head. "Ow!"
"Sit up and proper." she said.
'I thought she was the nice one.' said Alpha holding his head. There were tears in his cartoon eyes as well as mine.
"Sorry." She whispered to Alpha. Well... If they can read my mine than they should be able to see my little... uh... other me.
"Whatever." I told her. Then I made eye contact with Prince Blueblood across the table.
"Uh... what a ruffian. Auntie why are such country ponies here?"
"Are you saying you take insult to my new lover." said Celestia a little harshly to him and patting Sight on the back.
"No. Sorry." He went back to eating his soup. I looked down at mine. What was this? It's like... green... piss. That's it. No meat or vegetables.
"What is this?" I asked using my spoon playing with it.
"Soup." said Vinyl beside me. She was eating it very lady like. I can't eat this! I need real food!
"Honestly. What is wrong with you?" asked Blueblood.
"Oh so much. So very very much."
"Well... I take it that one as ugly as you must eat something ugly as well." The entire room went silent.
"Oh no he didn't..." I started to get up but Celestia stopped me. "What are you doing!"
"No fighting at the table." She said pushing me back in my seat.
'GGRRRR! ALPHA!'
'I know! Let's teach this fuck a lesson!' I looked down the table as everyone continued to eat their soup. I used my magic to take the spoons they weren't using. Under the table I was building a miniature catapult. I heard Tia and Luna giggle. They know what's up.
"Napkin please." I asked Luna and she handed me one. I took it, balled it up, and stuck it in the soup. I used my magic to put all the liquid inside the ball and then load it in the catapult.
"Hey Blueblood. Use this to clean up." I said shooting at him and watching it explode on impact. Everyone looked at him. "Hahahahaha!" I was the first to laugh. Then shortly some of the others began to laugh. Then the entire room busted out.
"Guards! Attack that freak!" he ordered some of the guards at me.
"Uh oh. Clementine!" I yelled holding my hoof out and the guitar came towards me like Thor's hammer did to him. I grabbed it and held it upside down. "Come on guys. Stand down." I said to them.
'Why Clementine?" asked Alpha.
'Well... what if I have more than one conscious? How would he or she feel?'
'Good point.'
"Let's see what you got little man." said the Captain. Hey... he was the homo from before. Hehehe...
"Fine." The bottom of the V shaped guitar formed into an axe making everyone gasp. "That's right people! My guitar is alive!" One of the guards went for a stab but I parried it and kicked him back. The Captain and two others jumped at me and I turned Alpha into two small swords deflecting them all.
'So Alpha. Your a shape sifting weapon.'
'Yes. But my true form is the guitar.'
'Either way your badass.'
'Really?! Thanks!'
I put one of the swords in the ground and lifted my self up kicking the two minor guards in the face. It was just me and the Captain.
"Alright homo." I said to him.
"How did you know?"
"I know everything!" I yelled putting the swords together making a hammer and knocking him upside the head with it.
"WHOO! That's right! Oh yeah! I still got it!" I looked over at Blueblood. "You just picked a fight with the best. Ready to give up?" He whimpered and nodded his head up and down. I turned to my friends who didn't move from the table. "Sorry guys."
"That was awesome!" they all yelled. I turned to look at Celestia and Hindsight.
"Dinner and a show! Marvelous!" said Celestia. Okay. It's official. I like this Tia better than the other. Hindsight couldn't stop laughing at Blueblood who was in a fetal position.
"I must say. Where does one learn to fight like that?" asked Luna. "When Tia and I were younger we were warriors but never that good."
"It's nothing. I'm just a boy from Ireland." I said calmly. I went to the guards and helped them all up. "Y'all okay?"
"Yeah!" they all said happily. "I haven't felt a rush like that in.. forever!" said the youngest one.
"Dude! You have to teach us some moves!" said the muscular one.
"Alright... alright. I'll teach you guys the moves to become champions." They all threw their heads up and cheered. This is great. I get to see the world anew. Now with more friends. I wonder... what am I going to about the mane 6?
'We could auction them as sex slaves.' said Alpha.
'What what WHAT!' I said back to him.
'Relax. We'll visit them later.' I felt my stomach growl.
'Kinda wish I ate that piss soup by now.' I said to him. I turned to look at my friends again.
"Guys. I need real food. If you need me I'll be getting pie." I told them.
"From who?" asked Vinyl.
"The best." I said closing my eyes and teleported to Ponyville. I looked around to see I was at Sweet Apple Acres.
Sorry but this was as far as I could type for a while. It's been... 2 days I think since I could get something uploaded. Sorry. Just wanted to throw this out here. I shall continue the story now.
Alright... Now!
"Hello." I said to the hard working orange pony on my left. She wiped her brow and then looked at me.
"Howdy partner." She said in her accent. Alright. I can handle Applejack's accent. But not Big Mac's. Not at all. I mean I was raised on a farm and all. We'll... not an apple farm. More like... potato farm. Potatoes rule!
"Just came by to visit." I told her.
"Have we met before? I don't think we have."
"Honestly we have. I came here to visit Granny Smith."
"You know my granny?"
"I know everything." I said walking towards the farm. "I'm Bass by the way."
"Applejack. I swear we've never had a Bass here in these parts before." PFFT! Which parts we speaking about? Hehehe... "What's so funny?" she asked.
"Nothing. I was here before though. I remember you were young and didn't have your parents around."
"You know about that?"
"I know everything." I stopped at the door and knocked. Applebloom was the one who greeted me.
"Howdy mister."
"Howdy kid. Can I speak to Apple Smith?" I asked her.
"Who?"
"Your grandma."
"Oh! Granny Smith!" She took off and came back a half a second later with the old pony.
"Do I know you?" she asked.
"You should. It's me... Ash. I fell out of the sky one day. You brought me in and gave me pie."
"Burning Ash!" she said. "Alright every pony! Supper time!" she started ringing a bell so Big Macintosh would come in.
1 hour later
*Burp* Best pie ever.
"Thanks Smith." I said.
"You didn't tell us why you changed your name though."
"We'll I have many names. You see when I came forward in time..." Yes I told them what happened. What? I had to. "Time wasn't the only thing that changed. This time I changed. Then one day I accepted my sins and my guitar here came out of my soul."
"What sins?" asked Applejack.
"What are sins?" asked Applebloom.
"Cover your ears little sis." said Big Mac. Bloom did as was told and covered her small ears.
"Let's see. I killed... I'm a little greedy... a tad bit of a glutton... and the last one's a bit personal."
"What?" asked Big Mac. "What is it?"
"*sigh* In a way I committed adultery."
"Why would you do something like that?" asked Applejack.
"Well Kay died a long time ago! And I just met someone else."
"Then that doesn't count as a sin." said Applejack. Well the ghost of Kay would disagree. I wander what the fuck is she doing now? Oh yeah! Fucking my brother.
"Your right. She's the one doing the sinning." I looked at Bloom. "You can take your hooves off." I said. She didn't understand me. I made a motion for her to move them and she followed it.
"Oh well. I just thought of something." said Applejack.
"What?" I asked her.
"If your in the past some way then you didn't commit those sins."
"Well... that's true and not true. I did do those. The future me didn't. The only thing I can hope for is that he never comes here."
"Why? Was their something different?" asked Applejack.
"No." All my friends are dead. Yeah something's different. "Not a thing. We'll it's been good being here... but I need to get home."
"You have a place?" asked Apple Bloom.
"Yeah. A friend helped me out. By guys." I said teleporting back to the castle. When I got there I was in a hallway of some sort. "Uh..."
"There you are!" said Vinyl. "I thought you ran away."
"Ran away? It's only been an hour."
"Right... but It's almost 11 o'clock. I need some sleep."
"Me as well. Full belly. Tired body. 'Nuff said." She used her magic to pick me up and begin walking. "Oh my..."
"Shhhh. The others are asleep." We went beside a room showing the Hooves couple in a bed holding each other and another room with Octavia in it. I didn't see Lyra nor Bon-Bon.
"Here we are." We made our way into our room. Well... she carried me. "Thanks."
"Welcome."
"Guess Sight and the princess got a room."
"You guessed right." She cut on the light in the bathroom and placed her glasses on the counter. Her red eyes were a little bloodshot but that's because we're tired. "I need some rest." I used my magic to levitate her. "Whoa! Hahaha! Bass!"
"How do you like it?" I asked her.
"I love it! Oh but put me down! I'm tired!"
"Too tired to play?"
"Too tired to play." I put her on the bed. "Thank you kindly." She said wrapping herself up in blankets.
"No prob." I jumped onto the bed beside her. "Whoa! I haven't had a bed this soft in... like ever!"
"It's very *yawn*... nice..." said Vinyl starting to close her eyes. I wrapped myself up and pulled her towards me.
"Get some sleep..."
"Thanks." She kissed me on the cheek and went to sleep.
'Whoo! First kiss!' said Vinyl.
'I'm just the best at romance.'
'Why didn't you choose Heartthrob as our pony name?"
"We'll One: I had a guitar tattooed on my rump. Two: You are a guitar who came out from inside of me. If I was this Heartthrob then guess what would have come out.'
'Why you gotta be like that?'
'Good night Alpha.' I closed my eyes and felt sleep take me away.
I woke up in the middle of the night. Alright. I couldn't take it anymore. I have to know what Celestia is doing with Hindsight.
'I bet she's going all Molestia on him.' I said to Alpha.
'Your telling me. I prefer Luna.'
'Are you still holding a grudge about what the other Celestia did to us?'
'Yes! How could you forget that!'
'Forget what?'
'God your an idiot.'
'And your not nice.'
'Yeah. I lost my cool right their. Sorry bro.'
'No hard feelings.' I got out of the bed and made my way out of the window. Let's see... I'm on the right wing of the castle. I need to get to the Middle than go right. I slowly made my way to the other room but I then heard flying behind me.
"What are you doing?" asked Luna.
"Uh... not checking in on my friend."
"He's fine. Real fine..." Did I just hear right? "I mean she's taking care of him." Is she? They already kissed and now their... Oh my... What have I done?
"Alright."
"Your going to check on him anyways?"
"Yeah! Wanna come?"
"Sure." She landed behind me. "I didn't hear you at all. If you didn't have a shiny silver coat than I would have never found you."
"I used to sneak around."
"Wow. How did that turn out?"
"Not well."
'Hey Bass.' said Alpha trying not to break my disguise. 'Is Luna speaking correctly?'
'She is.'
"Yes Alpha. I have been taking lessons." said Luna. We both stared at her and than back to ourselves.
"Okay." We stopped above the room where Celestia and Sight were spending the night. I hung upside down at the window to see what was going on.
Let's see here...
1. Candles.
2. Fireplace.
3. A constant noise. I swear to fucking god that If I look right I had better not see them fucking. Oh god... why! The sight will never leave my skull!
"Aw!" I pulled myself back up. "Yeah their having fun." I told Luna.
"That's always been my sister." said Luna.
"Molestia."
"What was that?"
"Celestia."
"Oh..." Nice save. "Alright." Luna took off flying for the lookout tower. She went to the telescope and began to look around.
"Okay. Awkward."
'Tell me about it.' said Alpha.
"Hmm..." I slowly turned and saw Celestia and Sight wrapped in a blanket. "How did you...?"
"Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to." said Sight.
"Right... We'll... I need to hit the old dusty trail." I said walking away quietly and not looking back at them. I climbed back in the window and sneaked to the bed. Vinyl didn't move an inch. I lifted her up on my chest like she likes and went back to sleep.
"So Dusty." said Alpha. The inside of my head looked exactly like the Tardis.
"Alpha what did you do?"
"I made our head into the coolest thing ever."
"Alpha are you calling me a police phone call box?"
"Yes. But... a portable one at that."
"Well played."
"I've been going through other ponies heads." he said throwing a bunch of documents on the floor. "Tell me what you think."
"I think that this is wrong." I said. I grabbed the one on top that said Hindsight.
"That's the worst." he said.
"What's wrong with it?" I asked him.
"You'll see." I opened it and looked into the documents. "Let's see... I came to Equestria when I was... 16 and have... Wait? He's not from Equestria?"
"He's not from this world." said Alpha.
"But how's that possible?"
"When you invented this world you must have brought others here."
"How many?"
"Look let me put it this way. Whenever someone dies on Earth they come here. When they die here they get reborn there. Understood?"
"No! That's not possible!"
"IT is possible tough! Look at it! Hindsight is really a human."
"Oh my god... and why didn't he tell us?"
"Who want's to go around all day saying I'm a human?" asked Alpha.
"Good point. What's his name?"
"David I think." he said.
"Alright. We'll ask David later."
"Maybe. I need to show you your mind." We walked to the machine in the middle. "This doesn't let us go back in time but we can still see visions from the future."
"Ah... Like our old dreams."
"Exactly." He hit a button and a light surrounded both of us and sent the image to our head. The vision was off my perspective.
"ARGH-" I heard a grunt and watched what was happening. It looked like I was getting my ass handed to me. There was this large red pony with a machete. I got back up and grabbed the guitar. What I did notice was that my hoof was black. Then when I held the guitar up to block his attack a white light stopped the vision.
"What the fuck was that?" I asked Alpha.
"I don't know! Who the hell was beating us?" he asked.
"Big. Red. Machete. Let's remember these facts."
"Alright. Oh get up. It's almost 8."
"Alright. Thanks." I walked out of the machine room and awoke in the bed. Vinyl was still holding on to me with a small bit of drool emitting from her mouth. I wiped it away and nudged her so she would wake up. She grumbled and opened her eyes.
"Hey..." she said quietly.
"Time to get up." the Alarm clock went off. "See?"
"Alright alright. Help me up." I got out and pulled the covers off her and helped her on her hooves.
"How do you have so much energy in the mornings?" she asked.
"I'll tell you my secret later." I said to her. I need to find David. I need to know what's happening.
'Alpha! Sight was here before we went back in time!'
'I didn't think of that. I don't know what's happening.'
'Time to learn.' I walked to Celestia and David's room. I didn't even knock. I just walked right on it.
"Bass?" asked Sight looking in a mirror. Celestia was still asleep.
"Shh. We're going to have a talk." i said seriously.
"What?" I grabbed him and took him to a quiet place in the hall where no one else went.
"Tell me how you got here David." I said to him.
"What! How do you know that!"
"Look I understand you. I'm Dustin by the way."
"So I'm not the only human?"
"Their are many out their. I came across some information telling me that when people die on Earth they come here. I invented this world in a coma. I also got summoned here."
"Well I died when i was 16."
"How old are you know?"
"25." 9 years? My math must be wrong. I thought he'd be 21.
"Well listen closely..." I told him everything. When I talked to the Apple family I left out all major details but I didn't spare any to Sight.
"Wow. Just wow."
"I know. Now listen. Alpha and I had a vision of a big red pony with a machete fucking me up. I need your help."
"Why?"
"You can see in the future can't you?"
"Oh! Well... shut up!"
"Hahaha. Just do it. Also I'll call you Sight still. Okay?"
"Alright Bass. We keep this professional."
"Agreed. Also 25. Not bad but I thought you would be a little younger."
"I died 9 years ago." But how is that possible? I invented this world 5 years ago! Damn paradox.
"Huh. I'm 30. Anyways do your thing." He closed his eyes and used his magic to send a signal into me.
"I see... tonight.., big red pony... and... you in pain. That's it."
"Damn it. That's all I saw in my vision." I walked away. "I'll catch up later Sight."
"Alright!"
'Alpha. Come on talk to me.'
'David seemed calm about us being human.'
'The shit we've done. Only a human would do things like us.'
'Good point.'
I kept on walking till I made it outside only to hear a voice behind me.
"Hey you!" yelled a deep gruff voice. I turned to see a giant hulking red pony approaching me.
"Oh no..."
"You the one who fucked with my buddy Blueblood?" Did he say fuck? He's not pony.
"You human?" I asked him.
"How did you know?"
"Large, mean, and violent. Yep human."
"Whatever little man. I'm going to get my buddies and we're teaching you a lesson."
"Ooh. I can't wait." He turned to show, and I shit you not, THE ABSOLUTE BIGGEST PAIR OF WINGS EVER! Yeah. I'm going to get fucked. He disappeared quite quickly.
"What was that about?" asked Vinyl. From behind. "I saw the entire thing."
"Nothing."
"Bass I heard the entire thing. Don't you think you should be worried?"
"I am worried. About him."
"Don't be like that."
"Your right. He comes from the same place that I do."
"Where is that?" asked Vinyl.
"Another story. Another time." I went inside the castle to eat my breakfast. I didn't want to leave the castle at all. How many guys were going to be there? Where was he going to meet me? So many questions filled my head...
"You okay?" asked Celestia breaking the silence. I just now noticed how quiet the room was. "Your-"
"Don't you dare say my eyebrow is twitching!" I stopped her. She smiled and went back to eating. I let out a sigh and ate some. "Just thinking."
"About what?" asked the Doctor. Sight looked back between him and me.
"This large red pony dude wants to kill me later." I said.
"Why?" asked Derpy. "I don't want anyone hurting my friends."
"He said because I messed with Blueblood." Oh come on! The damn kid deserved every bit of it!
"But he deserved that!" said Vinyl. I love you.
"I must agree." said Octavia.
"I don't know guys but wish me luck in any case if I get ambushed later." Doc patted me on the back.
"You'll be fine chap."
"Thanks man."
A few hours later
I left the castle so I could go pick up some supplies like shampoo and a toothpaste. On my way a small blue pony ran towards me. He tried to punch me but I blocked it and punched him in the gut. When he was bent over I brought both of my front hooves down on his head knocking him down. Before I could kick out his teeth another pony hit my arm when I tried to grab the weakened one and then hit me below the chin with it throwing me back.
"Ugh..." I laid there and thought about how that sucked. I got up and looked around. I counted 30 ponies.
"Welcome Bass. Welcome to hell." said the large red hulk walking behind me. He drew the same rusty machete I saw in my visions. I got up and drew the guitar in my hooves.
'Dustin fuse with me!' said Alpha.
'What?'
'Combine your power with mine.'
'But that's not possible.'
'It is! We just combine our soul wavelengths.'
'Alright. Let's go.' I felt Alpha grab my soul. My fur turned the dark black like his and I felt more powerful than ever. Just hope that's enough for the hulk.
"Bring it." I grabbed the guitar and turned it into a large warhammer. I held it up with one hoof and began to spin it around. "Time to bring down the hammer!" I yelled bringing it down on one pony and bucking the one behind me with my legs.
"Batter up!" I yelled swinging it like a baseball bat sending about 4 of them in the air like team rocket. I turned the hammer into a spear and aimed it towards the one holding a shield.
"What are you going to do with that?" he asked. I grabbed the trigger and shot the spear into the shield and pulled him towards me and I used my free hoof to knock him out. I turned the Clementine back into guitar form and began playing electric guitar. As soon as I did lightning bolts came down knocking out about 8 of them. Alright. That's 14.
"Take this!" one yelled punching me across the face. Ow! That hurt more than it usually does.
'Alpha what just happened?'
'Dustin when I fuse with you we become an warrior who focuses only on offense.'
'You mean no defense!'
'No!'
I felt a kick in the gut and someone throw me down.
"Get up." said the red giant. "I'm not done with you yet." He got on top of me and began to give me blow after blow with his right hook. I kicked him in the nuts twice and got out of the situation. When I was up I putted up a boxer stance and gave about 3 of them concussions with my hooves. I would wait for them to strike, then counter, then counter attack and beat them. I felt what was like a metal pipe hit my back leg and then Big Red kick me in the face sending me back on the floor.
"I am Big Red. I am the one who will kill you!" Huh... I totally just called his name.
'Dammit Alpha! No defense and I'm having my ass handed to me.'
'Sorry! This hurts me as much as it hurts you!'
'Well help me out here!'
'I can't!'
I managed to get on my back knees and get some air in my lungs.
"Not bad. Didn't expect you to be this good." said Big Red. I'm just going to dub him Red. He grabbed his machete and drew it from the sheath on his belt. I grabbed the guitar quickly. He swung at my neck but I used the guitar to block it.
"AAAAHHHH!" screamed Alpha in my head. The guitar was cut in half and the machete left a large gaping cut above my right eye. I couldn't see out of it due to the blood.
"No Alpha!" I grabbed what was left and dodged more of Red's attacks. "Damn!" The black part of my fur left as I felt Alpha dieing on me. I grabbed the machete when Red swung at me and threw it away from us. I gave him my strongest uppercut knocking him back.
"Damn." he said popping his jaw back in place. "Alright men. We back off for now. We'll be back Bass." he said leaving with his last few men. They left and I heard what sounded like the engine of a monster truck would make. I ignored it and grabbed what was left of Alpha.
"No no no no! Stick with me!"
'I'm dieing...'
'I'll fix this.' I closed my eyes. If Alpha is a third of my mind than I'll use another third to fix it. I used my magic to do this act. I grabbed all the pieces that were removed. Some how the guitar was cut directly in half. That sucks. I felt another piece of my mind leave. I know because of the headache. Than Alpha stopped moaning and coughing.
'Did it work?'
'It worked.' said Alpha.
'Yes it did.' said another voice.
'Alright. This is getting complicated to keep track off. Give me a sec.'
{There. That better?} I asked. <Yeah.> said Alpha. [Oh yeah.] said the new voice.
{Who are you?} [I'm you dude.] {No I mean your name dude.} [Well if he's Alpha. Than call me... Beta.] {Alright. I can live with that. Welcome to the team.}
I looked down on my left shoulder to see a silver pony with black hair with blue stripes in it. That's funny. Beta has my body hair color and Alpha has my actual hair color. I looked down at the Clementine. It was Half white/black with vice verse runes. All in all the only thing still fucked up is my eye. I looked at the unconscious bodies around me and sighed. Should have seen this coming.
"Bass!" yelled a voice from the distance. I turned to see Luna and Celestia running towards me.
"Hey guys. How are you doing?"
"How can you be so calm!" asked Luna. "Look at your eye!"
"It's okay. Just a cut above it. Also I see better with my left."
"And what are you doing now?" asked Tia.
"Just taking a break. Oh Alpha almost died so I used all of my magic to summon another conscious. Meet Beta." I said to them. As on cue the new guy bowed.
"That's great and all but we need to get you to a hospital!"
"No I'm fine. Really." I got up and dusted my self off. I grabbed the new Clementine and placed it on the magical harness. "See? All I need is a bandage, some witch hazel, and cotton balls and I'm as good as new."
"No!" Luna tackled me.
"Ow."
"Tia help me out." Celestia walked over and teleported us all to the hospital.
"Hello Princess." said the Doctor. I sat in the waiting room. The blood continued to drip from my face but I didn't mind. I looked beside my and saw a kid with a scrap on his arm. Then the nurse walked out.
"Alright who needs my help?" she asked. I was the only pony she looked at.
"I'm okay. This kid here has a really bad scrap and I think you should check on him." I said. I just really don't want anymore stitches.
"Come on sir. Make this easy on yourself."
"*sigh* Coming."
[Pussy-whipped.] {Beta how does that even... no. Just no.} <Oh jeez. Why did you have to get wounded.> {Because some fucking idiot decides to focus only on offensive capabilities. Beta you had better be good at defense.} [I'm the best.] {Excellent! Alpha you were a good help but I need to switch between you two.} <Understood. We'll work on some tactics while you get stitches.> {What?}
"Drink this sir." said the Doctor handing me a small cup of a clear liquid.
"Ah Anesthesia. How I missed you." I drank it and began to feel woozy. "Wait this isn't Anesthesia..."
"Nurse hand me the cleaning kit -" the rest was cut off. I felt my body shut down.
{Guys they drugged me.} <It's not pretty.> {You can see?} [Come here.] said Beta pointing to a large TV on the wall. It was them cleaning my wound and closing it. {Aw I can see my brain.}
I woke up eventually. How do I know? It was like a giant gust of wind knocked me from the inside of my head and out the door. I was literally carried away.
"How's it going doc?" I asked the ponies around me.
"Good. You recovered very nicely. However your right eye will have some troubles clearing up for a few days."
"Right. Thanks." I got out of the bed and made my way to the waiting room. The princesses left me. Again. I went outside and saw that it was twilight out. By that I mean dusk. Sunset. Whatever the fuck you want to call it. Anyways it was very beautiful. Except I couldn't see out of my right eye. Well I could but... it was so blurry that it seemed like I couldn't see.
{Guys how long was I out?} [A few hours.] {Fuck my ass. I'm late. And hungry.} I grabbed my stomach.
"Time to go home." I said to myself. I teleported to the castle at the time when everyone was finishing with dinner.
"Hey Bass." said Sight. "Forgot to wake you earlier."
"Ass." I took a seat and grabbed some leftover salad. "All you left me was salad. Whatever." I stuffed my face with as much as I could. I don't care what I eat. If I'm hungry I'll eat just about anything. Except my waste and things that are alive. Also things that are poisonous... yeah so their are lots of things I wont eat.
"You alright?" asked Vinyl.
"No. I have a killer headache."
"I have some medicine." said Octavia.
"It's alright. I just need some rest." I stopped eating once I noticed I was full. The entire dinner was quiet. "Do you guys enjoy making my dinner awkward?" I asked them. "It's just some stitches!" They stopped looking.
"Sorry." said Derpy. Doh...
"Aw I can't stay mad at you guys." They all stood up waiting for a hug. "No group hug. I'm too sore." They all hugged me anyways. "OW! I wasn't joking!" They stopped immediately. "Alright. I'll be fine in the morning probably. Vinyl carry me to bed." She helped me up and accompanied me to bed. "Night guys!" I said.
"Night!" they all said back. Vinyl helped me on the bed when we got there.
"Are you sure your alright." asked Vinyl.
"Truthfully no. But I'm starting to feel better." she gave me another kiss on the cheek and left to go back to the dinning room.
<Tired?> {Very. This time I really want to sleep.} [Alright. Night.] {Thanks Beta. Welcome to the team. Alpha are you sure your alright?} <Never better! I actually feel stronger!> {Good... good...} I started to fall asleep. In about ten seconds I fell asleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night of the night. I know because of the large red '3:24 a.m.' on the alarm clock. Vinyl wasn't sleeping with me. Why? She's always by my side...
[What are you doing?] {I'm waking up.} [Alpha is still sleeping.] {Good. We can practice. You see Beta I fused with Alpha in my fight with Big Red. You know the details. Anyways I want to try and fuse with you and work on my defensive skills.} [That's a good idea but why?] {Something feels bad. I just know it.} [Instinct. Alright I trust you. You know what we need?] {Breakfast?} [A montage.]
I went to the bathroom real quick and in their I found Vinyl sleeping in the bathtub.
{Aw... she passed out while bathing.} [Ew.] {Whats so bad about it?} [She's been laying in her own filth for a while now.] {... Ew.}
I reached down and picked her up out of the water and pulled the plug out of it. I wrapped her in some towels and placed her on the bed wrapping her in the blanket.
"Goodnight sweetie." i said kissing her on the cheek. I swear she smiled.
[Aw... she so adorable I just want to fu-] {NO! She's mine.} [Jeez. Let's go train.]
I went to the gym down the road with all the training equipment inside already set out for public use. It was like they were training ninjas.
[Alright. You need to master your surroundings and how to defend against them.] {So don't get hit.} [Basically.]
I took in a deep breath and ran into the spinning pole machine getting hit by everything and thrown back.
[Alright. Back to step 1.] {Aw come on...}
4 hours later
I was dodging everything in the gym. From the poles to the robots. (Yes they had technology. Not as good as it's going to be in one year but still very good.) Did I say robots? Yes. Kung fu robots. It sucked. But I prospered. I felt my connection with Beta growing.
[Come on Dustin! You can do this!] <Come on!> {Glad to see your awake sleeping beauty.} <Shut your whore mouth before I rape it.> [{HAHAHAHA!}]
I closed my eyes. I knew I could connect with Alpha on the spot but Beta was completely different. He was always cool on the battlefield and defensive at all times. I felt his soul right beside mine. Then the sparks that went between mine and Alpha's started striking. I felt us become one. (No homo!)
[Nice. Very nice.]
I looked down to see I was still silver shaded but in the mirror on the wall all the red in my hair turned blue.
{Alright boys! We're making progress!} <We need badass names.> [What?] <Like a title when we fuse. Kind of like Super Saiyan or Devil Trigger.> {I got it. Right now were in the Beta Zone. Alpha. Ours will be the Alpha Wave. Got it?} <Yeah.> said Alpha wiping a tear. <You make me so proud.> Beta walked over and put an arm around him.
"I'm back!" I yelled out loud. Couldn't help myself. So I left Beta Zone and made my way home.
20 minutes later
I was enjoying my walk back to the castle. I saw the world in brighter colors. I swear if it was even more colorful I would do that Sunshine Lollipops song. When I got to the castle the guards quickly opened the door, pushed me in, and closed it behind me.
"Uh..." I couldn't see anything. Then the lights came on and every pony (My friends.) was looking angry at me (Except the Doctor and David for some reason. Hmm.)
"Welcome home..." said Vinyl. "...Dustin."
"What? Oh... AW David!" I said to him.
"I swear it wasn't me. It was Celestia." Damn you Tia and your mind powers.
10 minutes later
"... and then I just left the gym and came here. That's it. End of my story." I said finishing my speech. The only one moving was the Doctor who was clapping.
"Bravo." he said.
"Thanks. Now David. You obviously know more than you should. I want to know how you came back wards in time."
"I used a time sphere to come back in time since you changed the future."
"Aha! I knew it! David your the second smartest pony I know!"
"Who's the first?" I pointed to Doc. "Oh. Yeah. True enough."
"Sorry for scaring you when you came in." said Celestia. "Guards at ease." What? She was ready to kill me? Why? WHY!
"Vinyl." I asked her. "What do you think of this?"
"You lied this whole time."
"I had no choice. I couldn't just go around saying I was a species from another world."
"Yeah..."
"I'm sorry Vinyl Scratch. Will you forgive me?"
"If you take me out on a date."
"Oh deal!" I said pulling her in for a hug. All I heard was awes from the others. "Definitely."
David's POV
I saw Bass walk away with Vinyl. Before he left though I saw he had two little... Bass's on his shoulder. What the hell?
"Hey Doctor..." I asked him.
"You saw his consciousness too?"
"Is that what they are?"
"It appears Dustin's mind is shattered and in order to repair them he made other consciousnesses to handle it."
"Impressive." Celestia winked at me. Oh my... I wonder why she was so into me. Does she know my secret power?! Or does she know my past? God I hate it when they read your mind.
"Sorry. Bad habit." said Celestia.
"It's okay sweetie. Can we communicate with our thoughts?"
"We can with a spell."
"Do it!" Yes this is so much better!
'I agree.' she said. Excellent.
Dustin's POV
"So Vinyl. What do you really think about me?"
"I still think your a pony. I also really like Bass."
"I noticed."
"Who was Kay?"
"A very good friend of mine."
"Was she... close?"
"Yes."
"So what happened to her?"
"She was killed because of me."
"I'm so sorry!"
"I'm not. If that didn't happen I wouldn't be here." Technically I didn't kill her. Oh well.
<Kay... I don't know if I love her or hate her.> [Hate.] {Jeez... Uh... yeah... hate.}
"Um... this may seem odd but what do I call you?"
"Vinyl I have many names. Dustin is only a title now. However I think I'm growing attached to Bass."
"Okay. Good. I'm use to that name."
"Where do we go out to date?"
"I know this great place!" She grabbed my hoof. "Come on!"
"Alright!"
"Do we have money?"
"No but we have two princesses." I said gleefully.
Blah blah blah more talking blah blah blah date!
I sat down across from Vinyl at a table in some extremely fancy restaurant. She had her hair tied back and was wearing this awesome ass blue dress. The only bad thing was I had to wear this suit. This brown and blue vertically stripped suit. Actually it wasn't bad at all. It was actually really comfortable and Vinyl loves me so much I didn't have to wear a tie! Ties are THE WORST POSSIBLE THING!
[Drama queen.] {Suck it. At least I have a date.} <How about both of you put your tampons in and get this date going!> [{Damn...}]
"You look amazing Vinyl..." I told her quietly.
"Thank you. I usually don't get to do this. No one really wants to be with me."
"What? Who doesn't want to be with you! I've read- wait... hold that thought."
"What?"
"Just a human story."
"About me?"
"Yes."
"And what was I doing?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"That's why asked isn't it?"
"Ooh. Got me their. You were just... uh... um..."
"Yes?"
"Eating waffles!"
"Oh I love waffles." Nice save. Then the waiter came up to us.
"May I help the beautiful mare and the gentleman today?"
"Yes." I started. "I would like... the uh.... Vinyl help me out."
"We'll have your finest dandelion sandwiches. Make it double. With tea."
"Oh excellent! I'll be right back." He took off quicker than I have to when I need to poop. That's a reasonable excuse.
"Nice save." I told her.
"Thank you."
"And a cup of tea! That hits the spot right it does." Oh god my old tongue is kicking back in. Oh I can't help myself when it comes to tea!
"How nice of the princess to get us this place."
"I know!"
"Tell me. What exactly happened to Kay."
"Oh... Well... way to kill the mood."
"Sorry."
"It's okay. We both came to Equestria and in that time I worked for Celestia. Anyways before I get off topic I made a few enemies and Kay sacrificed herself to save me."
"I'm so sorry to hear that!" The waiter came to us when i was talking and gave us our food.
"Thanks." I told him and he left. "Vinyl thank you for being so understanding."
"Your welcome love. It's just that you sound like your close."
"We were. Now she's in my home world fucking my brother."
"How dares she!"
"Tell me about it."
"Did you two... um.. fuck?"
"What? No! We weren't lovers."
"Oh... good." She had to look away to cover her blush. I levitated my tea and sipped on it looking out the window.
"Luna did a great job with the stars tonight."
"Yeah she always does! It's so pretty!"
"Not as pretty as you."
[Way to sound corny.] <Hey if she blushes than it works>
Vinyl blushed this amazing red shade like her eyes and blinked a lot.
<Told you.> [...Yeah you kinda did.]
She grabbed a sandwich and began to eat so she could change our topic. I began to eat but I spent the whole time watching her.
"Bass. You are the most amazing man I've ever met."
"Oh am I? No one else you have ever thought about?"
"The only guy I've ever cared about if your asking was my dad and the Doctor and Hindsight. I love my dad even though he's a bit of a jerk..." Tell me about it. "and the others are like family."
"Glad to hear. Now where do I fit in that?"
"What do you mean?"
"A father and a brother. What am I?"
"How about neither. Your more like... um..."
"A lover..." I finished her sentence. She stopped eating and stared at me with those amazing life like red eyes. It was like watching a sunset during an eclipse. Little did I know it but when we were staring at each other our faces were getting noticeably closer.
[Do it!] <Come on Dustin! You better not fuck this up!> {Watch and learn boys.}
I grabbed her and pulled her in for a kiss. At first she fought it a little but loosened up and embrace it. All I could feel was her lips and her hooves in the back of my hair. This wasn't like Kay's kiss. This was... like... a true kiss of someone who would never leave me. After a minute we stopped to breath.
"That was amazing..." She said letting go of my head.
"Yes you were." I looked around to see many people looking at us. "Alright! Yeah! Cheer me on people!" They all started clapping and cheering as Vinyl pulled me in for another kiss.
"Let's finish eating so I can enjoy my desert." said Vinyl.
"I sure hope you mean me."
"Well... your an exception."
"Aw... Hahahaha!"
"Hehehe!" She has a cute laugh. I like it.
"Yeah... let's finish this up." I grabbed my last sandwich and began chewing on it. She did the same and we finished that and our tea staring at each other.
"Stop your embarrassing me!"
"Me stop! Your the one enjoying the eye candy." She blushed again and finished her sandwich before me.
"I win."
"What? Wha- AW! Tricks? Really!" I put my last piece in and swallowed standing up from the table. "Man... alright. I need to use the men... I mean colt''s room." I walked to find the bathroom only to be turned around by the manager. "Sorry." I said walking past Vinyl. "Wrong way."
[AWWWW YYYEEEAAAHHH!] {Liked that did ya?} <She's the one man.> {Don't say it like that.} <Why?> {Because if you do... *sniff* than I will never want to go home...} [But Equestria is so much better!] {Yeah it is... Well... Vinyl here I come.}
I finished using the latrine and washed my hooves walking outside. Vinyl waited for me and got up to walk away with me. We didn't need to pay since we got a reservation. All I have to do for Celestia in return is make sure David stays in tune. Something about a Cold Iron? I wasn't listening. All I heard was 'Blah Blah Blah He needs you blah blah blah Iron blah blah hates David blah blah don't die blah.' I got every blah on the spot.
We got home a little late but still we got to see everyone before bed. The Doc gave me a pat and Derpy cheered muffins for some reason.
"You two look great together!" said Octavia. "Only if I could find a guy."
"Don't say that Tavia." I told her. "If I can get a princess, who's an alicorn, a date I can help you."
"Thanks." I grabbed Vinyl and hugged her closely.
"Alright. We'll be off." I looked around and didn't see Lyra, Bon Bon, or Hindsight. Hmm... No princesses either. "Night everypony."
"Good night!" they all chimed. Creepy.
Vinyl put me against the wall and took in another deep kiss this time with tongue.
"Thank you Bass. I've never gotten this close to anyone before."
"And thank you Vinyl for changing my life for the better." I grabbed her and carried her to the bed. "Do you want to wait?"
"Uh..." She had a very heavy blush and her back legs closed. "If you don't mind."
"Not at all. I would never rush a relationship."
[You liar!] {Okay Bass that was Twilight's fault. Not me.} <Alright then Static. Why did you still fuck her?> {It wasn't me! I didn't control Static! I only saw what he saw.} [Right. I remember that. Twilight forced it on us. Is she the problem?] {Usually.} <It's settled! We fuck Vinyl in front of Twilight so she never messes with us again.> [{Settled!}]
"Help me with this..." she said trying to get out of the dress. I pulled it off of her with magic and hung it up in her closet. I took off the suit and hung it up beside it. "... I'm ready for bed."
"Me too." I got in beside her. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight." She kissed me and laid her head down.
{This feels so... right.} <It does.> [Well... look on the bright side. It can't get worse.] Que heavy dramatic music from the Dark Knight. [The hell was that?] {I don't know. You said it can't get worse.} Que music again. {The fuck?} <Guys stop saying that!>
I thought about it long and hard ( no homo) and I won't do any clopfic any more. Why you ask? Because every time you write clopfiction than Fluttershy cries. That's why! I'll still say things like oh their fucking in the next room but I won't go into any detail. And that's final. Besides my clopfic kinda sucks.
???'s POV
"Go my child. Do what I created you to do."
"Yes my master." I told it. I got off my knee to look at him. The large menacing werewolf still scares me just a tad bit. "Master Nightmare. Who am I suppose to dispose of besides David?"
"A Bass Strings. Also known as a Dustin. He wields some form of a soul weapon and he's extremely dangerous."
"Yes master." I told him walking out of the door. "Hah... hah hah.... hahahaha! I'm coming David!"
Dustin's POV
It was breakfast time and I couldn't ever completely enjoy it. Why? Celestia...
"Alright Celestia..." I told her to stop her nagging. "No I didn't see any Cold Iron. Honestly what am I looking for?"
"A large pony in black armor. From what I've been told he's the Pony of War."
"And you think an old man like me can stop him?"
"Your not that old. And only David can stop him."
"Than why do you need me?" Just then David walked in.
"I need you to help me get in for the kill. This time I take down Iron."
"I'm sorry David but... I'm a little lost."
"Alright. When I came to this world long ago their was another pony with me. And exact copy of myself. Cold Iron. All he wants is to kill me. Why? I don't know."
"David..."
"I've been going around time and space so he wouldn't find me. I can't fight him one on one because all I can do is read the future and he can summon any weapon at will."
"Listen to me..."
"Theirs nothing to listen to! I don't want to leave this time. I really like this world and the princess. But now were all going to die for it."
"God dammit David!" He stopped immediately.
"I-I... but..."
"Just listen. We'll take care of your monster friend/ brother. How much like you does he look like and don't spare any details."
"He's a brown pony... red hair... blue eyes... large black iron armor. Has a iron orb and he's a pegasus. Does that help?"
I looked out the window. "Well... it narrows down the search."
"What?"
"Incoming!" I jumped on the ground and covered my head as the large pegasus came flying in through the window.
"David!" it yelled. Alright. Guess that's him.
[No! Really? You think!] {Fuck you.} [Fuck you!] {Fuck you!} [Fuck you!} <I outta kick you in the nuts asshole.>
Than the odd giant pony decided to stare at me for some creepy reason.
"Dustin... you must be... terminated."
"Oh god he's the terminator. Dammit David! I said skip no details!" He summoned what looked like harpoons and started stabbing at the floor under me. I moved back and dodged every time. "Whoa! Hey! Quit it!" I gave him a hard kick in the head. The pony stopped and dropped the harpoons. He then just stared at me.
"You hit me."
"Uh... David?"
"YOU HIT ME!"
"Run!" he yelled. I got up and ran with him and Celestia out of the back castle door.
"Alright man. Tell me how to beet this. Wait... hold on. Clementine!" I held my hoof up and the guitar came out the door as I caught it. "Alright tell me."
"We can't get in close for melee attacks."
"Dammit."
"That armor is also a problem. We need to strip him of it and then hurt him before he uses the bomb."
"Bomb? What bomb?"
"See that big orb in his chest?" He pointed to it. I nodded in return. "He'll pull it out and channel all his energy into it. The only way to stop the bomb is kill him or he decides to stop it."
"You know a lot. How many years has he been haunting you?"
"Since I got here."
"When you were a tween?"
"Uh... yes."
"Yikes. Alright." I patted him on the shoulder. "I'll handle this."
"I can help. I'll tell you when to strike and where." He handed me a headset. "Celestia doesn't want me in your mind. I don't think Alpha and Beta would approve."
"You can see my consciousnesses?"
"Yes."
"Hmm... Impressive. Alright. Go check on everyone in the castle." I put the headset in. "I'll babysit the abominable freak." Then a royal guard came out to face him.
"Listen hear..." started the guard but Cold Iron cut him, literally, into a bunch of pieces.
"Alright. Celestia. Go get Luna." She took off.
{Guys I need a hand!} [So we can't get close! Big deal.] {Than you transform into the weapon I'm best with.} <Scythes?> {Guns.}
The Clementine made electrical guitar sounds and transformed into two large caliber pistols. One white and one black.
{Don't see why I named you guys Alpha and Beta. Should have gone with Ebony and Ivory." [Don't you even go their.] {Just saying. Black and white...} <Stop it!>
"Alright. Yo! Hey Iron!" I waved at the large armored pony who was smiling criminally and giving me the creeps. "Come and face me you little bitch!" He spread his large metal wings and began to float a little bit.
[Hey Alpha. You know what song we need?] <I'm thinking Hellbent for Leather by Judas Priest.> {That's the one!} I told them hearing the song in my head. I did a barrel roll to the right dodging the flying hulk and aiming my guns at him.
'BLAM!'
"Jesus! What do these fire!" [Well it fires bullets made out of soul energy. And you have quite possibly the strongest soul ever.] <We do have to cool every now and then but you know how to conserve shots.>
"Gah!" yelled Iron as the bullet nailed him in the ass. Damn. He's wearing that armor. But it looks like it still hurts though. I continued to shoot at weak points in the armor but I was just playing a wild goose chase. I couldn't see where he had any weak point. "You dare mock me!"
"Uh... yes! I dare!" I fired a bullet to his face where the helmet didn't cover but he summoned a large shield and deflected it Captain America style. "Oh... your based off of David aren't you?"
"Like a captain!" he yelled throwing the shield nailing me in the chest sending me back.
"*cough cough* Damn. That's one arm you got their. I bet you masturbate all day long. Not a woman wants you."
"Stop talking."
"Who was it you work for? Hmm? The Nightmare? That whore?"
"STOP IT!" he began stomping.
"Alpha Wave!" I merged with Alpha and fired bullets about 20x stronger and took pieces of his armor off. I got most of his arm and torso armor off with only a few shots. "Impressive. That's some good armor you got their buddy."
"I'll kill you then kill David. I'll earn my master's respect!"
"Why is it that you want to kill David so bad?"
"I don't need to tell pathetic scum like you." I shot him in the arm and he winced in pain.
"Wrong answer. Please tell me."
"We need his power. David is... special."
"And your cloned off him. Shouldn't you... ya know... be like best buddies?"
"Why would I like him?"
"Because in a way your basically brothers. Think about it. Fighting all the time. Yeah sounds like me and my bro."
"You don't know anything."
"I do know that your master is an evil spirit who focuses on destruction and is obsessed with the night."
"Hmm... you sound like you might know a thing or two." He went for a punch and I ducked below it and got behind him.
"Listen Iron. We could be friends. Just please settle down. No need to hurt anymore people."
"And who have I hurt?"
"That young guard I saw you murder a few minutes ago. He had family. Maybe a wife and kids. Did you ever think of that?"
"Shut up!" He went for a cheap shot by punching me in the gut. I quickly switched to Beta's power and when he punched me I heard his arm pop.
"Beta Zone. Sorry Cold Iron but your attacks can't hurt my defenses." I gave him a hard punch sending him rolling back. I love this. I mean... Alpha is really fast and I can increase my attack output. But I feel like the Hulk right now.
<Hey I'm of some use.> {You are Alpha. Think of this... like Viewtiful Joe.} [Except you can do a lot more damage Alpha.] {Exactly.} <In that case let's kick ass. Oh... hey. I think you knocked him out.> I looked into the dust storm to see Iron laying their against the rubble of the concrete.
"Dustin!" yelled out David. I turned to great him.
"Hey buddy. We did it."
"Without my help? Your amazing!" He said patting me on the shoulder.
"David why was he after your power."
"Because... the Nightmare can make an unstoppable army with it."
"Then can't you use it?"
"It doesn't work that way."
"Of course. Theirs always a flaw." He looked depressed. "Don't worry. Your not the flaw. They want to use evil power to harness your good power. Just stick with us and you'll get stronger."
"Not as strong as you apparently."
"I've been fighting for a long time David. I'll tell you about my Earth days later."
"Hahahahaha..." said a cold chilling voice.
"I hear laughing." I turned to see Cold Iron standing up. "Why is he laughing?"
"Bravo. Bravo. You've given me the feeling I was messing Dustin!"
"Gay?"
"The Hunt! I love it!"
"Yeah he's lost it." said David. Cold Iron wrapped himself up with a large black sphere.
"How can he use magic?!" I asked him. All the girls and the Doctor ran up to us.
"Get back guys." He told them. "Because Dustin. He's a..." We were cut off when 4 large black hooves came from the bottom of the bubble and large black steel wings sprouted from the top. The bubble left to show us a large black pony with a horn and large black armor with spikes. The red hair turned black and his blue eyes turned red. Blood red.
I'm on a roll and I have so many great simple ideas to use! 1. is no more fucking time paradoxes! I'm starting to confuse myself. 2. Thank you BBB for the wicked nosebleed you gave me with the #46 comment. At first I was thinking "You don't know my weakness." But I was wrong! I was horribly wrong!
David's POV
I stood beside Dustin who simply watched the large black alicorn. Fuck I forgot to tell him about Nightmare form.
[What the hell is that?] I heard Bass say. <I don't know! Dustin kill it with fire!>
"Relax guys. How hard could he- OOF!" Iron gave him one good punch and sent him flying into a building.
"I'll be back for you David." I felt his hoof touch me cheek. "Sweet sweet David."
"Back off jack off." I told him backing up.
"Oh but I won't kill you. Your friend made a great point. What's the point of killing you? You would be better alive." He walked towards the house Dustin just went in. "But for now... THE HUNT!"
Dustin's POV
"Ugh..." Somehow I bounced off the couch and went through the roof landing in the bathroom upstairs.
"Eek! Help! Creeper!" Said the white pony with pink hair covering wet body with a towel.
"Hello Fleur."
"Bass?"
"Yeah." In case you were wandering what I do in town? I talk. To everyone. "It's me." Two large black hooves came from the floor below and grabbed my face. "Oh my." Iron pulled me down and kicked me outside.
"Oof! OW! Ow! That's going to hurt." I got up slowly so I wouldn't black out. I watched the larger pony walk towards me. "Are you on steroids or something?" I asked him.
"Or something seems right." said David helping me up.
"Thanks man. Where is this power coming from?"
"This power is from my master! The Nightmare!"
"Pussy whipped." I told David earning a small chuckle. He obviously wasn't that scared. "Hey David... Do you know what you forgot to tell me?"
"About the Nightmare form? Yeah... Sorry."
"It's okay." I popped my back. "I just don't think I can win this on my own."
[I'm sure we could.] {Do you want to try it? I'm game if that's what your asking.} <Shut up and run!>
I did as Alpha said and ran with David towards the castle.
"Run all you want! I Dark Steel shall destroy you!" He said appearing before us.
"Aw... he's got a name for it. How cute." I said getting a slap. "Ow..."
"Look at you. Your nothing." He held his hoof up for a killing blow.
"May I take a tea brake?" I asked him.
"What?" He lowered it.
"It's just tea time and well... I don't want to die without a nice cup of tea. Do you David?"
"Uh uh."
"Didn't think so. Please Mr. Steel?" I asked like a little kid.
"Oh... alright. Have your tea. I may be evil but I have respect."
"Thanks. You are David's clone. Only this guy would give me tea before I died." Both he and David laughed the same. "And listen to you two! You sound exactly the same! Honestly Steel. I would consider helping us instead of killing us." I sat a table getting a cup of tea from the waiter.
"Yeah yeah." said David sipping on his cup.
"Now that I think about it..." started Steel sipping on his cup. "Why am I doing this? Is it because I was left out or that I wanted power."
"Oh it's the second one." said David. "You and I were so close and now you just want to 'Kill me and take my power.'' He mimicked that last part and sounded exactly like Steel with the royal canterlot voice.
"Alright I'm done with my tea." said Steel. "You die now." He said childishly. I looked at him and my cup of tea. It took a third of a second to decide what my next move would be...
"..."
"..."
[...] <...>
"AAAAHHHH!" I threw the scolding hot liquid in his eyes.
"Let's go!" We jumped over the guard rail and ran down the street away from the castle.
"Dustin we need to get that armor off of him."
"What's it made of?" I asked him.
"Steel! Duh!"
"Only in that form though right?"
"Yes. Why?"
"Just asking..." I turned the guns back into my Clementine. "Alright boys. Let him have it." I turned around and started strumming the electric strings like the guitar solo from The Final Countdown. Lightning poured out of the sky and struck the alicorn ferociously.
"AH! FUCK!" He threw the helmet off in a rage and summoned a shield to repel it. My lightning immediately had no effect on him. "You two are dead!" He grabbed the orb from his chest and put a lot of energy into it.
"Shit stop him!" yelled David. We turned and I switched to Alpha Wave mode and Clementine turned into a spear. I held it and pulled the trigger nailing him in what should have been the neck but was deflected with his back left foot.
"How did he do that?"
"I don't know! But stop the bomb!" We both heard what sounded like a beeping noise begin.
"You have 30 seconds till death." said Steel.
"Please listen Steel. Don't do this."
"Why shouldn't I?"
"Because you shouldn't have to do this! No one deserves to take a life. I learned that the hard way. That guard you killed. Us in less than a minute... What your doing is wrong!"
"What I'm doing is justice!"
"For what?" said David. "I've seen the future! You will be betrayed! Nightmare will kill you and consume you for your power!"
"I... I-I don't..."
"I just want to be here with Celestia. My friends. Please don't take that away... please..." He said with a tear on his eye.
"Dude..." I told him with tears in my eye. "... Manly tears have been shed." I pulled him into a hug and we waited to die.
Beep 3 Beep 2 Beeeewwwww....
I knew that sound anywhere. The bomb was stopped?
"*sigh* Your right David." He left Dark Steel mode and fell to his knees. "Your right. I'm fighting for nothing. All because I was jealous."
"But you have nothing to be jealous about! You have your own life! You had me as a friend! I treated you like a brother for those years and you just left!"
"Your going to tell about this later right?" I asked him.
"Oh yeah."
[Yeah! Story time!] <David! Dude! I want you as my professional speaker!> Alpha game me a smack.
"Ow..."
<Better than this idiot.> I closed my eyes and put myself in my head. I crawled out my ear and walked to Alpha.
{Idiot am I?!} I held him with my hoof. <Yes.> I dropped him and couldn't help but laugh. {That's basically my life in a nutshell.... AH HAHAHAHA.... HA Hahahahaha...} David and Iron both just watched.
"He's... different." said Iron.
"Yeah... but he grows on you. Listen Iron. Your always welcome to be here but..."
"It's that guard. And all the others I killed isn't it?"
"He was just a kid. Like us."
"Right. Goodbye David. And I'll spare you this once. Next time... be ready." He was surrounded by that shadow bubble and then vanished. Alpha, Bass, and I just watched.
"Uh..." I started to say opening my eyes. "He's not staying?"
"With the crimes he's committed? He can't. It just... hurts. You know?"
"Too well." I left Alpha Wave mode and sat down on the ground. David followed wiping his brow of sweat. "*sigh* David remember just a moment ago I was thrown through a building?"
"Yeah."
"Well... the pain is starting to seep in. Can you help me home?"
"Sure buddy." He got up and put my arm over his shoulder. "You on?"
"Yeah. Let's take it nice and slow..." I hopped with a limp as he would walk normally to counter balance my weight.
"We're like apple pie."
"What? Oh no! Don't go there!"
"Can help it. Your just so easily injured. It's funny."
"At least my stitches didn't reopen." Just then a football hit me above the eye and blood made it's way down "Ah! Damn kids!" I yelled shaking my hoof at them. The 5 of them stuck their tongues out and left. Just the 5... It's like my childhood! It was me... Brandon, Kelly, Lucas, Kay, and my best friend Nathan. He didn't come here though. So that's a good sign. He's probably at home right now eating a slim jim and writing some fan fiction!
[I miss him.] <I miss all our friends...> Alpha was sounding like he's going to cry. <But we can't mourn them forever.>
"Something wrong?" asked David.
"What?"
"Your crying. Is your leg hurt that bad?"
"No. Just... some memories. Hey can we get some tea?"
"Later! Let's go home man!"
"Fine." We hobbled all the way home. It was like the three piggies. Except one of them is missing and one of them is wounded. And if their on the road I imagine all houses were blown down. Didn't know a wolf could blow down brick.
"Hey David. Do you know where the third piggy is going?"
"Excuse me?"
"I mean... Where is Cold Iron going?"
"If memory serves me right back to Nightmare's hideout. She's going to torture him for showing emotion again."
"This isn't the first time?"
"He's been with me since I came here."
"And he ignored time. Wait! If we went back in time than... we... let Nightmare out." I am such an idiot! <Called it.> [Oh burn! He totally did!] {Aw what? Man...} <Hey don't feel bad. At least your not someone's bitch.> [Hey. I remember that one sexy picture of Vinyl.]
"You mean this?" asked David holding a pic of Vinyl in a maid's outfit.
"David! No I need that!"
"Come get it!" He left me and took off for the castle.
"David! Come back! Seriously! David!" I limped after him. Not my precious picture! No!
Iron's POV
"ERR!" Nightmare whipped me again with her cat-tail whip.
"Aw... look at that." She said looking into a cauldron. "He's got a crush."
"You know I don't kill women. AH!" Again with the whip.
"No you don't. That's okay. But you showed emotion and lost David right where we had him!"
"Sorry. I just..."
"You thought about the old times again?" She sighed and lowered me from the torture table. "Iron... What am I going to do with you?"
"I don't know."
"I show discipline only because I love you. Now when you recover and train harder you'll attack again."
"Yes master."
"Good. Dismissed." she said sitting on her throne.
"So... Dustin is back. I haven't forgotten that torture he did to me with that paper bag."
"What?"
"He killed me when I wasn't suspecting it. Now he's back and still alive! Your going to fix that!"
"When?"
"In a few months. I'm going to give you the maximum training."
"Yes, master." I bowed to her.
"Now get some rest."
"But I real-"
"NOW!" she yelled in the royal canterlot voice.
"Yes ma'am!" I left without a second though. Soon David... soon.
What is their to talk about... Hmm... Nothing... Honestly? No. But
"So David. Tell me about your clone." I asked tucking that picture of Vinyl into my ear and hearing a computer female say 'Download complete.'
"Well... he thinks he's a clone. He's actually my best friend's younger brother."
"I totally called that he was your twin brother."
[He did.] <Totally.>
"Yep." I said finishing it.
"Really? Hehehehe... I've never noticed." he said sarcastically.
"You know I was the younger brother of my family as well."
"Really?" "Yeah. But... Cody never died. In fact he's making a name for himself in my world. Let's see... We went back in time about a year so if my math's right... and it usually is, than right now he should be asking Kay to marry him."
"I remember Kay. A little bit. So she left you for your bro."
"I know. It sucks! And I was expecting a child as well."
"You got Vinyl. I mean besides the porn in you head."
"How much did you see?"
"The bronies dream collection. Actually yours aren't bad. I mean I hate seeing those pictures of guys, humans mostly, fucking the mane 6. And you just think of them in attractive outfits. No sex or messes."
"I thank you. You know ponies look... more... uh... naughty in outfits here. I mean since they usually don't wear clothes. A maid outfit is like... lingerie. See?"
"Huh... your right. Anyways I've gotten over Iron. He's just a pain."
"You said best friend. Why does Iron want you dead?"
"He thinks I got him killed. He had this ability to copy someone once and he used it on me to get close to my friends and kill them from behind. I found out, died his hair brown and red and then sent him away."
"Because he thought you killed his brother. What a dick!"
"I know!"
"Whatever. I would have kicked his ass anyways if that whole Dark Steel didn't kick in." We made it to the castle and as soon as David opened the door all the girls ran to my side.
"Bass!" cried Octavia and Vinyl lifting me up literally like a doll.
"Hello ladies." said David. I remained quiet though and waited for the bad side.
*SMACK* was the sound of Vinyl slapping me.
"What were you thinking! You almost died!"
"But I didn't sweetie! I didn't! Look at me! You hit me even! I'm still here!" She ran up for a hug with tears on her face. I was still weak so I had to lower us to knee levels. "...Still here..." I think I enjoyed this hug. It was a sympathetic hug that I've never received before.
"*sniffs* Please don't do that again..." She wouldn't move and I couldn't.
"I will try not to. Or next time I might just bring you along."
"Ello Dustin." said the Doc.
"Ello Doctor." I held a hoof out and he helped me and Vinyl up.
"So what do you think of this new threat?"
"New for us. Not David." He nodded at the mention of his name. "This clone is working with some bad people. I've fought with Nightmare before and I imagine that somewhere Discord is involved. Is the statue still here?"
"It is. Tell me what's damaged." said Luna. Celestia isn't here?
"I reopened my stitches and I think I've sprained my hoof and have internal bleeding in my side."
"Alright. I can fix most of these wounds except the stitches." She grabbed them and pulled them tight to close the wound.
"OW!"
"I just fixed it. Stop whining."
[OW That really hurt bitch!] Beta was covering his eye. <I can't see! Why is this!> [You can! You can see Alpha! Just use the left eye for now!] <Your right!> {What the fMEOWk is wrong with you two? Aw what?}
"FMEOWking jerk." They all giggled. "Aw the kitten noise is back! What the fMEOWk? God!"
"Hold still Dustin." said Luna tending my leg.
"Dustin. Seriously? Just say fuck." said David.
"FMEOWk! FMEOWk fMEOWk fMEOWk FMEOWK!"
"Hahahaha... that's too rich."
"God damn censors! Who is doing that?" I looked up to see Celestia laughing to her heart's content.
"You... this whole time... stupid fMEOWking cunt always making me freak the... ERG! That's really getting on me! Are you giving me a message? Like don't curse as much?"
"Say whatever you want. Just it appears that one vulgar term is your favorite."
"Actually my favorite is damn but fMEOWk is fun." She giggled and I was lifted by Luna when she was done. "Alright. Everypony! Listen to me! We have an issue!"
They all lined up like military cadets and waited for my speech.
"Okay. It appears that David's old rival and some old foes of mine have joined forces. I have an idea. Two to be exact." I held out a painting display table and lifted up a sheet showing a kid's drawing of a giant robot on top of the world. "My first idea is that we build a 300 foot robot to defend us all! I dub him Super Hero Global Man!" I held my hooves out in the air and pumped them.
[Best drawing ever!] {Don't mock me!} <No Dustin. That's actually the best we've done.> {... Oh... Thank you?}
"Such a kid." said Octavia. "What do you use to color even?"
"Crayons!" I held up the box.
"Dustin. Have you ever painted?" asked Vinyl.
"Never! I can build it. My second idea was since we couldn't really do much damage to Cold Iron is that we get more help. Get the princesses and all the elements together."
"I thought we did good." said David.
"And then he turned to Dark Steel. That Nightmare form of his really changed our plans."
"Then that's what we're doing. I shall dub this plan..." started Celestia while building up suspense. "Super Hero Global Man!" She had a slightly better drawing than mine and the robot had her tiara with a large banana on it's chest.
"I like bananas." Doc and I said at the same time. "Their good for you!" we said at the same time.
"Alright. I can draw Octavia but I need schematic paper and tools."
"What? Your an engineer?" asked Vinyl.
"Yeah! Well... I was." Hmm...
{Guys. Let's do an amplifier!} [What?] <Yeah! Remember how much damage we did with our lightning attacks?> [Oh god! That's brilliant!]
"I have another idea. I'll build an amplifier."
"No. We need the elements." said David.
"Aw. Buzz kill. What would you call it?"
"What?"
"The plan..."
"OH. How about Harmonic Retribution."
"Alright. Random. I like it." I popped my neck and gave Vinyl a big kiss. "Alright. David how long do we have till Iron comes back?"
"Alright guys. Let's get Twilight first." I said picking up my guitar.
[Aw... do we get to fuck Vinyl in front of her?] {No! Why do you keep bringing that up?} <Because we still kinda hate her.> {No complaint there. But this time things are different.}
I tried to use magic but I couldn't manage it.
"Hey Celestia. Where's my magic?"
"It appears you just need to rest."
"No time!"
"We have a few months." added in Derpy.
"What? Aw... Derpy's right." I went back inside. "Tomaro I begin operation Harmonic Retribution!" I threw my hooves up and pumped in excitement. I felt a hoof touch my ear. I turned towards Vinyl.
"Was that you?"
"Yeah. You had a little dirt."
"Alright... then..." I ignored David's laughter behind me. What's so funny. I turned to see him giggling quietly and Celestia with a face of shock and awe.
"How could you have something like that?" asked Celestia.
"Like what?" David turned the picture of Vinyl in the maid's outfit. "Aw! What did I say about touching my head!" Wait...
<BWAHAHAHAHA!> {No homo!} [It's tooooo laaattteeeee.... AHAHAHAAHHA!] {It's not fair.}
"Sorry man."
"Let me see." asked Vinyl with her puppy dog red eyes. Oh... my heart...
[Dustin! Heart levels are rising!] <Your heart can't handle this much cute. You have to show her!> {I can't!} [<Is it worth dieing?!>]
"Here..." I said showing it to her. Her jaw dropped and her blush began.
"Did you draw that?"
"I wish. Sorry. I warned you."
"No you didn't."
"I'm so sorry!"
"I just didn't know I looked that good in a maid outfit." She said scratching her head. Then the Doctor came in from behind.
"Aw now I got to see! Well! Someone's foreshadowing his future."
"Look what you've started David!" I tried to get the picture back. He passed it to everyone in the room. Aw... dammit.
[Let's make the Doctor test out Super Hero Global Man.] {No. Let's do it with David.} <Agreed.> [Unanimously.]
Well after a few hours it was time for bed and I was surprised beyond any comprehension. You know, I was just laid out in bed like always when Vinyl walked in with that same outfit.
"So what do you think?"
"Vinyl! Your.... amazing..." I was cut off by her lips forcing their way to mine.
"I... need to tell you this..."
"What is it?"
"I-I... I love you.." She stopped kissing me and looked me exactly in the soul with her red eyes. My red eyes gave her the same glare in return.
"Vinyl. You know damn well that I love you so much." I pulled her in for a hug and she pushed me back on the bed.
"Time to prove it..."
"Oh my..." Here we go again.
The next morning.
[That was by far the best woman we've slept with.] {Your making it sound like we've been having sex with a lot of people.} <But Vinyl is different.>
"Good morning." I told the sleeping mare on my chest.
"Is it morning already? *yawn* Can I get a few more minutes..." She snuggled on my chest.
"Of course you can. I need to find the elements. Want to come with me and David?"
"Yes!" She instantly woke up and left for the bathroom.
"Did she just use us?" [<Yeah>] "Clever girl."
I got up and met with David outside.
"Hey buddy. How did it go?"
"Well if your the one who helped me out again than thank you."
"Welcome."
"She's coming with us. We need her."
"Why is that?"
"She's like... the soundboard that helps my guitar. I know I sound great but she makes me so much better. See?"
"I guess. Celestia can't come with us. She'll break our cover."
"You boys ready?" Said Vinyl walking out.
"Yep." [Yep.] <Nope.>
"Yes." said David finishing it. We left the castle after breakfast and took a carriage to Ponyville.
"So..." I looked around our transport vehicle. "Nice ride. David weren't you worried about our cover?"
"It doesn't mean we get to ride in style." said David. "Besides cars don't get invented until April."
"Cars? I've heard about those." said Vinyl. "Metal transports on wheels. Right?"
"Yeah! I never thought it but your very intelligent Vinyl." said David.
"Thank you."
"We're here." said the driver.
"Already?" we all asked walking out. We were in Ponyville when the carriage left us and headed for Canterlot.
"Okay. Time to begin. First let's get Twilight. She can help us with the others."
"Who's going to be the hardest?" asked David.
"I'd say Rainbow Dash." Both Vinyl and I told him. Right... she was there.
"Alright. Twilight here we come." David lead the way and took us to the library. Inside we found only Spike.
"Uh... who are you guys?" asked Spike.
"We're royal agents here to conduct an interview with Twilight Sparkle." I told Spike frightening him. "Be warned. We're authorized to kill." He almost had an aneurism. "Relax Spike. It's me Bass."
"I remember you now. And Vinyl."
"Hi Spike." she said happily. I felt her reach into the backpack attached to my harness and pulled out her glasses.
"And this is Hindsight." I told him pointing to David. "We need you and your friends help Spike."
"My help? All you probably need is the elements. I'm of no use."
"Aw... don't say that. Your a good friend Spike. Just don't lose hope. If you do than everyone around you pays for it."
"Is it that bad?" he asked. "I need to always hope for them?"
"Always. A friend's trust and hope is worth more than any element." David and Vinyl nodded in unison agreeing with me. Then Twilight walked in the door.
"Spike! I'm ho- Who are you?" she asked. "How did you get in!" she took a defensive stance and aimed her horn against me. Vinyl and David were too scared to move. I looked around for a few seconds moving only my eyes and than looked at her.
"This is a library right?" She instantly backed down and lowered her head.
"I'm sorry! Please don't hate me!"
[Oh snap!] <Burn! Hey Dustin...> I heard Alpha begin whisper in my ear.
"Hehehe... that's rich." I said out loud by accident. Twilight didn't understand. "Alright. Twilight. We need you and your friends help..." I told her and she took back up her defensive stance. "Will you put that away before you poke out my eye?" She did as was commanded and listened to us. "Sight. If you would."
"Yes. Twilight we have a new threat to be worried about. A man who's been haunting me for years has teamed up with forces of pure evil. We need to stop him and we need the elements help doing so."
"I don't understand."
"Twilight... it would be better if you didn't." said Vinyl. Huh. She's got a point. "It's a pretty bad story. Right?" she asked me.
"Twilight I fought with Cold Iron first hand. Never and I mean never have I been in such a difficult fight."
"Cold Iron? Princess Celestia told me all about that incident."
"Yes. Hindsight is..."
"Your that Hindsight?!" she asked. "Celestia told me all about you. Oh I have so many questions!" We all looked at each other and I was the one to break the ice.
"Questions? I'll answer them if you help us. I know Applejack already and she'll help us. But we need your other friends as well."
"Well that answers question 1. You need the elements don't you? Whose Cold Iron working for?"
"Nightmare." said David. "And everyone one of those bastards under her spell."
"And we'll stop her Sight. Just take it easy." I patted him on the back.
[Hey. I just realized something.] {Hit me.} [You haven't said fuck in a while.] {FMEOWk. Aw in my head too!} <BWAHAHAHAHA>
"Alright. I'll help you." said Twilight. "Also I have another question."
"Yes?"
"Are you and Vinyl close?" she asked. I turned and saw that she was outside talking to David.
"Very close." Twilight only nodded and I, honestly, expected a worse reaction.
"Alright. We'll for our friends I think I have a way to get them." She said while pushing me out of the library. "Meet me here at 3. Okay?"
"Sure-" I was cut off by her slamming the door. "There's the reaction I wanted!" [Yes! Plan piss off Twi is in effect!] <Maybe we should have waited after stopping the Nightmare.> {No. It was too good to pass on. Also she asked.}
"I'll get Rarity. You guys get Fluttershy and Pinkie. AJ is taken care of right?"
"Right. And Rainbow is loyal to her friends. If they agree than she'll agree."
"Alright. Wish me luck with the marshmallow." said David walking away. I was giggling to myself until Vinyl nudged my arm.
"What is so funny about a marshmallow?"
"Oh Vinyl. It's a human thing."
"Yes. What was your old life like?"
"Not good. This life is so much better for me. I'm happier and I feel more... colorful than before. It's just now in Earth technology is so advanced that someone as old as me is inferior and unneeded."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"It's not all bad. I have you!"
"Tease..." She said with a smile and a turn of her blushing face.
"So Colgate gave you that maid's outfit?" I asked her.
"Yep! She thought you and I would like it."
"It was great!"
"Don't lie. I saw the nosebleed. Was it that good? The outfit I mean?"
"... no comment."
"Hahahaha!" It's great to hear Vinyl's laugh.
[I just thought of something. It's about Cold Iron.] <What?> [Well... he's hard on the outside but we beat him with David's speech. So why don't we kill him from the inside?]
"Well... You see Beta." said Vinyl. I stopped walking and looked at her. "If he's going through more training than we might not be able to talk him out this time."
"How did you do that?" I asked her.
"When we connected last night I saw your little angel/devil things going on."
"Their my consciousnesses. And their both badass."
"Of course they are. I never said they weren't. Theirs Pinkie now!" said Vinyl pointing at the pony entering the kitchen of the Corner.
"Do we have a plan?" I asked her.
"We don't just go up and talk to her?"
"OH... I wanted to be like Snake and sneak in their."
"I don't know who that is but try it." I nodded and ducked into the bush and appeared behind a tree. I stuck my head out and looked left and right then climbed the tree jumping off, doing a roll, and landing beside the door when Pinkie stuck her head out.
"Hiya!" she said.
*long gasp* OH MY GOD!" I fell back into the bushes. All I heard was Vinyl in the back laughing.
"Nice one Pinks!" she said getting a hi five from her.
"Are you okay Bass?" asked Pinkie.
"Oh you remember me. Huh. Alright than. We can get straight to the point. Pinkie we need your help."
"With what?"
"Let's do this in private." She welcomed us into her home. I took a seat on the couch and was glared at by the Cakes. "Oh sorry! Don't mind me!"
"Who are you?" asked Mrs. Cake.
"I'm the man whose trying to help." Pinkie and Vinyl came in and sat down beside me. "Alright. Pinkie we have a new threat. Do you remember the Nightmare?"
"Who?"
"The woman who possessed Luna. Nightmare Moon?"
"Oh that nightmare. Silly filly!" She gave me a light tap on the arm and I gave her a dead stare.
"Don't call me that ever again." I told her and a frown took over her face. "Anyways. She, a evil warrior named Cold Iron, and others are trying to kill us all!"
"*gasp* When?" asked Mr. Cake.
"We estimated two months." said Vinyl.
"And you know this how?" asked Pinkie.
"We're working with the princesses to fix this. I need you, Pinkie. And all your friends to help us. The elements are needed along with the princesses and myself to stop these enemies."
"What can you do again?" asked Vinyl. "Besides get injured?"
"I can keep Iron busy for a while until the orbital friendship cannon is ready." I told her. "And he use a cheap shot to hurt me. Not very manly at all is he?"
"Guess not." she said with a smile. I had my goofball mood back in action.
[Is it me or do I feel...] <...Swag?> [That's it... swag...] {I want a banana right now.}
"So. Here we are. I have my good buddy Hindsight talking to Rarity and..." Pinkie put her hoof on my mouth.
"The Hindsight?! The hero of Canterlot!" Pinkie had a big smile on her face. Vinyl and I looked between each other and her and back again.
"Come again?" I asked her. She left and came back in the same second with a paper. It was a picture of David talking to Dark Steel and I was removed from the picture. "Aw... I thought I did better than that."
"Next page." said Pinkie. I turned it and read the headline out loud. "Perverts in Canterlot. Reports came in and Fleur-de-lis was peeped on by local idiot. After a fight with the Cold Iron witnesses say that Bass Strings was thrown into Fleur's house and... *sigh* caused trouble. Really?! How can they post this?" I asked them. "Whose the writer... oh..." I turned it around. It said 'Big Red Publishers.' on it. "That's why." I knew that jerk would return.
"Who is he?" asked Vinyl.
"The asshole who gave me the stitches. All because I launched a wet paper ball at the Prince."
"That was so funny!" said Pinkie laughing. "It was... on TV. I recorded it." She put in a tape and we all looked at the large television set displaying the picture. There was no sound but me banging my hoof on the table pointing and yelling at the prince. He made a snide comment and I used magic to build that little spoon-a-pult and throw the ball at him.
"BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I busted out laughing. Can't keep it in anymore.
"That wasn't funny." said Mr. Cake. "You could have hurt his feelings for all we know."
"What?! Did you hear what he said to me!" they all shook their heads no. "Than that's why I look like the jerk." Vinyl put her hoof on my shoulder and I looked at her. Her face was puckering and she was trying not to laugh. "Vinyl was it that funny?"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she cackled and fell on the floor laughing. "It was! Ha! HAHAHAHA!"
"You alright down there?"
"Hah hah... hah... yeah..." I held out a hoof. "But I prefer the couch." I pulled her up for a hug. She kindly accepted it and got in her usual hugging position on me.
"I wander what Sight is doing..." I asked the sky.
Meanwhile...
"Rarity I need-" She threw a ribbon at David and he caught it.
"No time! I need to finish my work!"
"You don't understand! I need your help!"
"Like with your friend's fashion? I saw you and Bass earlier. Why does he wear a harness?"
"To hold his guitar."
"Ah. Well it could use a bit of polish."
"Why are we talking about this. I need your help as a Element of Harmony!" She froze and stared at him.
"So... for what?"
"Theirs an evil threat on it's way and If you don't help us... than we'll all die." David said sadly. His face showed only sadness. "I don't want anyone else getting hurt Rarity. I need you and your friends and the princesses and Bass to help me."
"I'm more into fashion and beauty..." said Rarity stroking her mane. "But I'll destroy anyone who hurts my friends!" she yelled at Pinkie volumes. "Sorry about that. Would you like a bit of tea?"
"On one condition. You need-" Pinkie blocked the camera with a sign. 'Sorry' it said 'Odd secret can't be given away. Or it will be spoiled FOREVER!'
"I can do that." said David.
Meanwhile...
Vinyl and I left the Corner with a plate of cookies.
"I thought you didn't like sweets." said Vinyl.
"Yeah. But I love peanut butter. Oh banana nut! My favorite!"
"You'll go ape for bananas." said Vinyl with a smirk.
"That's not funny."
"Sorry."
"No I mean the human race evolved from monkeys." I told her putting another cookie in my mouth. "Oh these are great!"
"So you'll go human for bananas?"
"Hell yeah I will! No where in the world did David get to?" We looked over and saw him running from the boutique. "Ah speak of the devil."
"Guys. I got Rarity."
"We got Pinkie." said Vinyl. "Let's get Fluttershy together. And carefully I might add. She's a little..."
"Shy?" I asked her.
"No. More like scared of everything that could pose as a potential threat. Like you two." We both looked at each other and raised an eyebrow.
"David looks nothing like a threat. And how could I be one?"
"She's probably read the paper. You know. Peeper in Canterlot on the loose!"
"Alright! Let's be nice!" I began walking. "Allons-y!" David grabbed the hair on the back of my neck.
"No you don't. Rarity wants to see you."
"What sort of deal did you make?" I asked him.
"Deal? What deal!"
"David... really?"
"Just go." I began walking towards the boutique.
"Fine. Leave me a banana cookie!" I yelled at them. Rarity better not make me look good. I always look good. Also who makes a deal like that? We just laughed at Pinkie's. Oh. Right. She's the Element of Laughter. So us laughing made her happy. Clever...
{Boys your awfully quiet.} [Rarity... she's gonna... Rarity... no...] Beta was in a fetal position. <Sorry 'bout that. Poor baby is scared of needles.> {Really? How?} [We're all different!] <I'm scared of prostitutes that want to kill us.> {Yikes. Now that is scary. I still have toxiphobia.} [I see the spider queen.]
"Where!" I yelled turning 360 degrees. "Don't see her..."
<So anything poisonous scares you?> {It's not that. My body has this instinct and if I see something venomous than I'll kill it.} [So you can't run?] {Can't run. It sucks. Don't know why I do it.} <Because your scared. But unlike other humans you'll actually stand up to it.> {So...} [<Your brave!>] {In that case. Man up Beta. We're seeing the queen of the thread.}
Meanwhile...
"So he's a threat?" asked David.
"Well... I was in his mind and I saw he has so much power inside and he's not even showing it. Alpha and Beta act like..."
"Supports. To control him. That's right... Oh well. Let's see Fluttershy. He'll visit Applejack for us."
"Alright. I wander what he's doing?"
Meanwhile... again...
"Ah! NO!"
"Stop squirming!" commanded Rarity. She literally removed the magical harness from my body. How?
"You stabbed me!"
"Because you moved!"
"Alright. I just need to stay... calm..." I sat in the chair when she clamped me down. "Not calm NOT CALM!"
[Oh god oh god!] <Dustin! I'm going to get you out of there man!> {There's just no point! Leave me!} [We can't! Your a brother to us! We go together!] [{<As brothers!>}]
"All finished." said Rarity with a large smile on her face. I looked in the mirror to see I was wearing a brown suit with gray stripes and a blue undershirt. Their was a midnight blue tie underneath the brown vest. She also had a fancy brown duster coat. "Very handsome. Now for my next trick!" She grabbed a bottle and dipped a paint brush in it and put it across all of my facial scars.
"Ah! That stuff burns! What is it!"
"It's a new potion I've been working on. I want to help scar victims like you out."
"Aw... ain't that swee- OW SHIT!" She more of it on and than grabbed a towel and wiped my face.
"*gasp* You look beautiful!" She handed me a mirror and showed me my scar-less face.
"Very nice. Very nice indeed. How did you do that?"
"Magic! Also beauty is my specialty."
"And this suit is a lot nicer than the harness. What did you do to that?"
"I removed it's magic and added it to your clothes." She put the guitar on my back and we watched as it wouldn't fall. "Charm spell. That's what it's called. I hope you don't mind if I take notes?"
"Not at all! Vinyl will love this."
[I look so handsome! So fucking handsome!] <Your like the next David Tennant.> {Explain.} [You just need brown hair and brown eyes.] {I got the hair... oh wait. No I don't. OH well. I like it like this.} <We can make an exception.>
"Hey Rarity. Did you meat Hindsight?"
"Oh yes! What a wonderful colt. I see why the princess like's him so much."
"Yeah?"
"He's charming, kind, caring, and selfless. I want my prince to be like that."
"He's more like, an um... jumpy bunny. But he's a great friend. And for future notice. Stay away from Blueblood."
"Why? He's so handsome and gorgeous!"
"Those are the same thing. He's a rude jerk. Trust me on this."
"Fine. I'll listen to the handsome stallion in front of me. How is Vinyl and the others? They don't visit much anymore."
"She's great! Octavia, Derpy, and the Doctor too. I haven't seen Lyra, Bon-Bon, Colgate, or Berry Punch in a while though."
"Oh they all live in Ponyville darling!"
[So Lyra and her GF have been just hanging with us for fun?] {Looks like it. Colgate... I remember the suicide thing...} <And you got Vinyl to play Assemblage 23! Why did she jump?> {It was... I don't know actually... Let's ask David.}
"Thanks for the suit Rarity."
"I want you looking your best when you fight evil!"
"Thanks! I want to come here for each of my services involving beauty!"
"It would be my pleasure." She opened the door for me. "Ta ta. And take care!"
"You too. Bye." I walked out and she gently closed the door behind me. Unlike Twilight on the other... hoof. Hmm. Still not use to that.
<She's in love with you!> [Never again!] {Please... there so many others out there like... um...} [Big Mac?] <Applejack has him.> [...] {... Never say that again. Like ever.} <Sorry.>
Time to get the kindest pony of all to help us!
Meanwhile... Yes... again! Seriously!
"NNNOOO!" Fluttershy yelled running through her house and gently opening the windows and jumping out of them. She bumped into me on the way out.
"Hello my dear Shy!" I said putting a hoof over her and making her walk with me. "Isn't this world just so great and beautiful and peaceful?"
"It is! I love it so much!"
"Well if you don't help my friends and I... than world goes BOOM..." I said quietly in her face stretching my front hooves out like a bomb. "So what do you say?"
"In that case. I'll help. As long as I don't have to fight."
"I would never do that to someone like you." Vinyl and David came around the cottage. "Hey guys! I convinced her to help."
"Uh... you look... great..." said Vinyl moving her glasses and rubbing her eyes. "Is that you?"
"Course it's me! I just look better!"
"What did Rarity do to you?"
"She fixed my image. The suit matches my accent."
"No scars... no harness... just wow." said Vinyl coming for a hug. "Yep. Your real." We all turned to Fluttershy. "Sorry for just barging in and asking you to fight Shy."
"It's okay Vinyl. I didn't know it was such a bad threat. Who is it?"
"The Nightmare." I told her. "And everyone under her command. She's after Hindsight here." I pointed to him. "He's got the future powers I tells ya!"
"Okay than. What of my friends?"
"You know the plan already?" asked David.
"Well I can't do much good on my own. I need my friends to back me up."
"You have them. You also have us and the princesses on your side." I told her. She nodded in joy.
"Great! How long?" she asked.
"Two months." we all said in unison.
"Okay. Does anyone want tea?" she asked. We all looked at each other.
"Yeah sure!" I said walking in first.
"It'd be great." said Vinyl.
"Thank you." said David. It's like one big giant circle of tea.
Harmonic Retribution part 3. Getting it all together.
"Well my face is a little numb but it feels good. I've had those scars for a while now. Ever since I came to Equestria."
"So you just fight?" asked David.
"No... but I'm good at it. So we still need Applejack and Rainbow. What time is it?"
"Almost 2." said Fluttershy.
"We're making good time. We need to meet Twilight at 3 right?"
"Yeah."
"Alright. Let's get some lunch!" [I am so hungry its not even funny.] <How is that funny to begin with?>
30 minutes later
"Waiter!" I asked the pony to come over. "Can I get another cider?"
"Sir. I think you've had enough to drink." I looked over at the 7 empty glasses. [What? I think *hic* he's calling us drunk.] <Watch you talkin' 'bout Willis?>
"Fine. I'll have some Coke."
"We don't sell drugs here sir."
"No. I mean Coke Cola. You guys must be shitting me."
"Psst. Bass." whispered David. "They don't have soda here."
"Oh... I'll have some tea please." He sighed and left.
"Are you okay?" asked Vinyl.
"I just had some food. That's all."
"No. You drank 7 glasses of the strongest cider in town. Don't tell me your drunk."
"I'm not drunk."
"Don't tell me what I want to hear."
"Alright. I may be a bit woozy but I'm good... What time is it?"
"2:38." said David. "Plenty of time for you to sober up."
"Alright. I want my tea and my food."
"You already ate it." said Vinyl pointing to the empty plate. "How do you feel?"
"Comfortable. And very hungry."
20 minutes later
We waited outside of Twilight's library and I had some more to drink.
[Hey... want to mess with Twilight?] <I'm too drunk too drive.> {You can't drive me.} [But your doing it now...] {Yeah. Your right. Here's the keys.} I handed him some imaginary keys and he took them.
"Oh TWILIGHT!" I said like in a higher pitched voice and sang the last word. I went through the door with magic and looked her right in the eye as she was walking to the door. "I'm home... *hic*."
"Are you okay Bass?" I opened the door and let Vinyl and David in.
"I'm fine. Whoa! Since when did you get books?" I walked into the library.
"He's looking different. No scars and nicer clothes."
"Tell me about it." said David. "Um... we've always had books Bass." said David mimicking Twilight's voice exactly.
"I hate them!" I yelled taking a bite out of a book. "Hmm... This taste like... metal..." Some blood dripped from my mouth and I spitted up the golden necklace with a diamond on it. "Hey... Lookie what I found... it's a hat!" I put it on my head.
{HAHAHAHA...} <I can't breattthhh...>Alpha wheezed out the last word. Hehehe... wheeze. That sounds like a breeze of toxic gas...
"Give that back!" yelled Twilight taking the book and necklace.
"Okay. I'm a little drunk."
"We've noticed." said Vinyl walking me to the couch. "Have a seat sweetie."
"Alright dear. Get me some hangover medicine please." I said getting control of my body again. Vinyl looked at Twilight with a questionable look and Twilight went to the kitchen and came back with a pill. I swallowed it without water and she just stared at me.
"What? I have a high metabolism. The alcohol is already burning up." I said normally. "So Twilight. After you slammed a door in my face we found most of the others except Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Can you help?"
"Sure. We just need to say something like... a pinkie planned picnic..." Twilight said looking at the window when Pinkie Pie stuck her head in.
"Picnic! Yay! I'll get it ready!"
"I want a pinkie cannon." David smacked my hoof.
"No. You'll get one when you behave your self."
"But Sight. That's not fair! I'm older than you!"
"By how much?"
"About 5 years!"
"Oh. Okay you can have one."
"Yay!" I said clapping my hooves together happily like a kid.
[I had my fun.] <I'm still a wee bit drunk...> {Lightweights. Hehehe... The opposite of that is top heavy.} [...Pfft.... HAH! HAH HAH hahahaha...] <I'm still... drunk...>
"Do you have a plan Bass?" asked Twilight. I showed her my picture of SHGM. "Is that crayon?"
"Yeah! Do you like it?"
"No." she said harshly and lit the picture on fire.
"Aw..."
"Don't feel down." said Vinyl. "She was doing you a favor anyways. A giant robot wouldn't work."
"It would! I could build it out of some schematics and use it to increase the power output of the orbital friendship cannon!"
"That's sounds impressive actually." said Twilight.
"But now I've lost all hope towards it..." I swear I heard what was like a bell at a boxing game ringing. The room faded to black and white until they started talking again.
"It's fine." said Twilight. "I guess we're even..." she said quietly.
"What was that?" I asked her.
"Nothing."
"I didn't hear anything." said David.
"It sounded like you said we're even. Even for what?" I asked her raising my eyebrow. "And no lies. If you do... I'll tell the princess!" I said like a threat.
"You wouldn't dare!" she backed up into her chair.
"No. I wouldn't. I need you alive. Hahahaha!"
"Uh..."
"Listen Twilight. Since these boys can't spit it out." said Vinyl.
"Hey." said David.
"Oi." I told her.
"I'll have to do it. I don't think Rainbow likes us and no one's seen Applejack. I've been asking around."
"So that's where you went. Clever." I said turning to David. "Between you and me... I think Vinyl's been drinking."
"Huh. I would have never guessed." replied the white unicorn.
"I know. Hey... Sight?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't think she's drunk. I think it's me."
"Oh really? What are you going to do about that?"
"I'm never drinking again." I looked over at Twilight. "Where's your restroom?"
"Upstairs." I high tailed it out of there and went to the toilet so I could puke up my drinks.
"BLEAGH!" I couldn't hold it in anymore.
[You alright?] {I'm fine. Alpha how are you still drunk?} <How are you drunk? Hmm?> {Hehehe... because I'm the... drinker?}
"You okay?" asked Vinyl. She was watching through the door.
"I'm fine. I just needed to get that out."
"You hungover?"
"No. See... I'm a good drinker. I just need to do it... over time."
"Okay then. Let's go to the picnic."
"Picnic?"
20 minutes later
All the girls were having fun at their, little picnic. Octavia, Derpy, and some of the others even showed up. I didn't see the Doctor but I did see Rainbow Dash. Yeah. But due to the fact that she still hates me... guess who doesn't get to sit at the picnic.
"This sucks." I said to myself. I was over at the tree away from them so I could stay in the shade. I looked over and saw them relaxing and giggling. Why can't I get something productive done today? Wait... I got 4 more elements to help me out. Never mind!
[Can we go over there yet?] {She, and by she I mean Rainbow, said that she'll call us over when she feels like it.} <Even David's getting food! Look. Here comes Celestia.>
I looked over at the bright light and both Tia and Luna were there. Huh. Guess they get invited but not me?
"Hi Bass!" said Celestia waving her hoof at me.
"Hi Tia." I said a bit depressed. Honestly I don't feel sick from the alcohol. I feel sick because I'm depressed as hell! It will do that to you. It's just... I've been thinking.
<Colgate?> {Yeah. We saw Vinyl once in that timeline. David said that Iron killed his friends. Does that mean...} [It can't be.] {And Colgate is always so happy! She'd never kill herself! So the Nightmare must have had a part to do with it.} <This whole time and they were under our noses.> {And we were too blind to see.} [I don't know what to say...] {Then say nothing.}
"Is something the matter Bass?" asked Celestia. She was the only one who walked over here. Vinyl tried but every time Rainbow gives her this stare as if she's going to kill her.
"Yeah. I just feel... bad."
"About what?"
"The Nightmare. I've just been thinking."
"It was something in a different time Dustin."
"No it's not! I came from the future! I know what's happening."
"Sister. Let's have some food." Luna said wrapping a wing over Celestia.
"Of course. Don't lose hope now Dustin." she said walking away. Luna looked at me and mouthed 'I'll talk to you later about it.'
So here I am... under a tree... alone. And I don't get to eat any food... because I'm under a tree... alone.
[Your not alone. You have us.] {Alone.}
I summoned my guitar and decided to play a song to myself. I played it quietly so no one would hear me.
[What song are you feeling?] {I don't know. I just want to play.} <I know one. How about... the 'Worker's song'?>
I started to strum my guitar to the Dropkick Murphy tune but I played on Acoustic and not Electric so they wouldn't hear me.
"Yeh, this one's for the workers who toil night and day By hand and by brain to earn your pay Who for centuries long past for no more than your bread Have bled for your countries and counted your dead"
<In the factories and mills, in the shipyards and mines We've often been told to keep up with the times> [For our skills are not needed, they've streamlined the job And with sliderule and stopwatch our pride they have robbed]
[All 3 of me] We're the first ones to starve, we're the first ones to die The first ones in line for that pie-in-the-sky And we're always the last when the cream is shared out For the worker is working when the fat cat's about
"And when the sky darkens and the prospect is war Who's given a gun and then pushed to the fore" [<And expected to die for the land of our birth Though we've never owned one lousy handful of earth?>]
"What are you singing?" asked a familiar voice behind me. All 3 of us immediately closed our mouths and turned to see Vinyl.
"Uh... it's the Worker's Song."
"Your a worker?"
"Was. It's just a song from my world though."
"I don't understand what its about."
"How much did you hear?"
"All of it."
"Okay. It's about the workers who get the work done and no one will ever remember them for their help. They fight and die and just get replaced by inhuman objects like robots and are left with nothing in the world."
"Uh huh. Alright. So... what happens to the people who don't help them?"
"Nothing. Not even guilt can pierce their greedy hearts."
"Rainbow said you could come over. Right?" she yelled over at them.
"Yeah." said Rainbow. Vinyl helped me up and walked me to the blanket.
"Hi guys." they all stayed quiet. I sat down and looked at elements and the others. Octavia gave a clear throat sound and David coughed. "What?" They continued with their game. "Vinyl what's going on?"
"*cough*" she faked coughed as well. Vinyl! Of all ponies! I stayed quiet and looked at them and looked over my body to see if something was wrong. I couldn't find a single problem. I looked where I was sitting and nothing was wrong about my spot either.
{I don't understand.} [There just being jerks.] {But... *sniff* their my friends.} <Aw don't cry in your head. Please?> {Alright.}
I didn't move at all. It was as if I received a message from the magic conch. But my stomach got the better of me. I looked down and saw only leftovers. They didn't want to save me anything. Well that's just... rude! I'm not eating any of it mind them.
"So Bass." started Rainbow. "I heard you've been through a lot."
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't know you were sent falling by accident and the fight with Cold Iron."
"That wasn't me. Didn't you read the papers? David's the hero!" He smiled a little bit. "Now why is everyone acting... weird."
"It's just..." started Rarity. "We... uh..."
"We? We what?" I asked her to finish. "I'm asking you girls to help us with the Nightmare. It's fair if you ask me for things in turn." I looked over to my left and just now noticed Applejack. Huh.
"Good!" started Twilight. "We need cables to build the fortress around the castle to amplify Shining Armor's magic spell so we..."
"Twilight! Please dumb it down for me."
"We need you to get spider strings so we can make the strongest cables."
"As in cobwebs? How are they the strongest?"
"Not a spider spider." said Fluttershy. "The Metal spider queen is the only one who can make the thickest webs."
"And these webs are metal? You guys aren't asking me to get them are you?!" Oh no!
"Yeah. Your not scared are you?" asked Rainbow.
"Yes! Giant poisonous spider and you want me to ransack her lair for her webs!"
"She not just poisonous. She's immortal." said Pinkie.
"Your making it worse! Why me?! Why not David who can talk it down with his speeches?"
"David can't summon lightning with a guitar can he?" asked Vinyl.
"You just had to go there."
"How bad could it be?" asked Applejack.
5 hour hike later
"That bad." I said standing outside the large cave. It was the size for hundreds of adult dragons. I turned to them. "Here." I handed Vinyl my brown over coat. I grabbed a large club like stick and wrapped some metal around it from the webs.
"You want to go in alone?" asked Twilight.
"I never said that!" I looked up and turned to see they all ran away. "Thanks guys. Great friends! Make me fight one of my biggest fears and by myself!" I lit the torch up. "This had better be some damn amazing fortress!" I rolled my sleeves up and grabbed the torch and began my descent into the belly of the best. FMEOWking perfect.
I know it's been a while since I've uploaded things. I'm so sorry for all who have waited. Just working a lot more often than I should have to be that's all.
So here I am. About to walk inside a cave and who knows what's going to try and kill me. Oh wait. It's a giant metal spider!
"Dustin! Wait!" I turned to see David.
"Your coming with me?"
"Can't let you go alone now can I, friend?"
"Thank you David. Your very kind. Onward. Allons-y!"
"What are we looking for?"
"If I know bugs right. And I do. It's that the queen should have a lot of webs strung up. We cut them down, instant cables, and we can build that shield."
"Alright. What's that?" A large metal spider with 8 blue eyes walked near us.
"Okay. It's not that scary."
'SSCCRREEEAACCHH!'
"I was wrong!"
It's eyes turned red and before it could jump us I turned the guitar into an axe and brought it down cutting off it's head.
"Nice one!" said David. I grabbed two of the legs and ripped them off.
"Here you go David. Some weapons." I took off a few pieces and tied them around his front hooves making some blades. "It's going to have to do for now."
"Alright. Would you believe me if I say I'm not that good at fighting?"
"I believe you. Your too kind. Your actually way to kind. Why is that?"
"I just like helping."
"Well keep it up kid. You might just save the world without having to hurt another in the process."
"What does that mean?"
"It means keep doing what your doing." We continued our walk down the tunnel and killed about... 23 spiders. Babies included.
"You didn't tell me that pod would pop into a bunch of them!" complained David.
"I didn't know okay! Look let's pick up the paste and move faster." David stopped moving but I continued to walk forward while looking at him.
<What's with him?> [Guess he can't handle the spiders.]
"David?" I asked him. "What are you... looking... at..." I turned to see the queen herself. "Uh... I guess your not just going to give us some strings so let's get right on down to the ass kicking!" I drew my guitar in it's normal form and played a few notes striking it with lightning. "David! I'll keep the bitch busy! You get those strings!" The queen fell to the ground in pain.
"No!" it cried.
"Oh god it can talk." <Oh god it can talk.> [Oh god it can talk.]
"Yes I can talk! You idiot! You just slaughtered my children!"
"Your children attacked! We would just ask nicely if we could."
"You shall die!" She gut up and shot some strings at me. I dodged them mostly but a few nicked me in the side.
"Ah... ew... Hey check it out." I held the shiny strings in my hoof and put them on the guitar. "Alright guys! Accept this into the memory!" [Stronger strings! I like that!] <Do we keep the old ones?> {Yes. These would make great bass strings but it would be bad for the others unless we can find some lighter ones.} [Like the ones the babies spin?] <Genius!>
"Dustin! Keep her busy for a few more minutes."
"David! What are you..." I looked over and saw he already had a pile stacked up that would keep this land busy for a few years. "Keep it up!"
"Die!" shouted the queen.
"Oh shut up." I turned the guitar into it's bass form. "Ready for the groove?"
"No." said the queen.
"Suit yourself." I strummed it once and the land below the queen busted open and she feel to her doom.
"Damn you pony! I shall have vengeance."
"Oh... too bad your stuck in the earth huh?" I strummed the guitar again closing the hole.
{You could say I... plugged it up!} <This hold shall never be used again.> [I think this hole is filled.]
"Nice one." said David. I looked at his arm blades and saw how dull they were.
"You using those to gut the strings?"
"Yeah."
"Nice. We need to book it."
{Do you guys have other forms?} <Flight mode. And we have one vehicle option that you may like.> {Oh really?}
The guitar left my hooves and turned into a small blue scooter.
"I love scooters!" I said out loud.
"I personally would rather have a truck. No offense."
"It's cool." I took all the parts I could find and a few circular rocks and built a wagon. David and I loaded up all the strings and he climbed on top of the mountain. I attached it to my scooter and revved it up.
"Alright guys." I said to them. "Let's do this."
"Dustin I don't think a scooter can go very- WHOA!" The scooter took of like nitrous and we rocketed out of the cave faster than a race car in a game of NASCAR.
"Whew! Yeah!"
"Your crazy!"
"And your tense! Lighten up David and have some fun!" He gave a small chuckle and loosened his body up. He looked straight as we were nearing the exit. "Here we go."
"Alright! Now were making progress!"
[Good kid. I think we should keep him around Dustin.] <He grows on you.> {Who does he remind me of?} <Us when we were 16.> {But we had fun running from the cops!} [So much fun.]
"You ran from the cops?!" asked David.
"Oh right." I slowed the scooter down a bit. "Forgot you can see my minds. I did some pretty stupid stuff as a kid."
"You don't seem like the kind of guy to hire someone to do something for him."
"Your right. Best to do it yourself."
"What did you use to do?"
"I'll tell you later." We exited the cave and stopped at the top. I turned the scooter into the Clementine and looked over the edge of the cliff. "That's a big fall."
"What do we do?" asked David still on the wagon.
"Hold on!" I pushed the wagon off the cliff and watched it slide down the mountain.
"ASSHOLE!!!" he yelled falling to safety.
"Hehehe... Your right Alpha. He does grow on you."
<Let's try out the flight mode. Just stand on top of the guitar and channel your magic through it like always.> {Oh like a surfboard!} [Only make it more like... Jak. For Playstation 2. Remember that?"
"Oh I remember! Hover board!" I jumped off the cliff and landed on the guitar and watched as it opened up and began to emit blue wings. "Now were talking!" I could control the board like I move my hoof. It's just that easy. I went forward and landed at the bottom where David was. "You okay?"
"*pants* That was so much fun..." He said with a smile. Okay. You can't fake a smile like this.
"Hehehe... come on." I lifted him up. "That's called adrenaline by the way."
"I liked it but it's a little much for a first timer."
"You've never been thrown from a cliff by your clone?"
"No. He's not that evil."
"I had it worse than that. At least we got the strings right?"
"Right." I pulled the wagon with him up the mountain and met the girls at the bottom. "Hey girls." said David.
"We're alive." I told them.
"You killed Arachnia?" asked Luna.
"I punched her right in the arachnads. I don't know if she's dead or not. I sent her falling through the planet."
"She's dead then. Good job Bass." said Celestia. "You've destroyed our string supply."
"No we haven't!" said David backing me up. "You know how bugs work. They get a new leader and continue were they left off from."
"That's right." I said happily. Vinyl and Octavia ran up and gave me a group hug.
"I missed you!" said Vinyl planting a kiss on my cheek.
"Had me worried!" said Octavia crushing my back.
"My ba-aah-aah-kkk."
"Sorry." she said dropping me.
"You got one arm there Tavia." I told her while breathing heavily. "I see why your good at the cielo." She smiled happily and Vinyl stared at me. "I'm fine Vinyl. Look. I got enough strings to last you guys a life time!"
"You got some light ones in here by accident." said Luna holding out a few thin strings.
"Oh I need those!" I said taking them and giving them to my guitar.
[Good call there.] <These are perfect!> {Hell yeah!}
"Now Bass..." started Twilight.
"Aw... more already? We have two months! I need a nap!"
"Your right." she said giggling. "You did a great job today. Be happy about that!" She said holding her hooves out for a hug.
[Oh no. Dustin. Don't you do it.] {I can't turn down a free hug!}
I grabbed her and pulled her in but in that same second everyone else jumped in for a group hug.
I completed my task to infiltrate the spider's lair... and look at that! I'm still talking like Shadow! I need to really go on a vacation that doesn't involve me being a mmmbitch on the moon. Twilight told me her next plan. She needs these crystals. What were they called again? Blood's payment? Yeah how lovely. She said that these are the strongest crystals around. Problem is... their... in... well..."
I folded up the journal finishing off the entry. "The desert." I said standing up looking around the dune wasteland.
You know... just a few hours ago I was sleeping with the love of my life. Oh Rarity made me a bunch of vest and undershirts! It's like she knows I'm going to be busy getting dirty.
[That came out... just wrong!] <Don't tell me your a whore!> {Guys! You don't understand me!} [Yes we do! Your grounded young lady until you can control you sexual activities.] {I hate you dad! Ugh!} <Now sweetie. Don't tell me your being like that in public.> {Okay. I'm not.} I said that time in my usual male voice.
"Bass." I heard in my ear. I pushed the button on the earpiece to hear Celestia's voice. "You need to be careful. This land hasn't been fully explored yet. Just stay in the dunes your in. They should be around there."
"Uh... You can see me?"
"We have a portal set up at the castle. It's linking you to every television set in Canterlot and all the surrounding towns!"
"What?! Where are the others!"
"Here with me. Eating popcorn and watching you."
"Not cool."
I continued walking forward. I regret wearing a black undershirt today. In fact... I regret even wearing clothes. Rarity's going to kill me when she see's the sand stains.
"I'm going to kill you!" said Rarity in my ear!
"Agh!" It scared the life out of me. "Jesus!"
"Listen Bass." said David. "There have been reports of creatures in that area. Do you understand me? We don't know what's after the Blood's payment." I remained quiet and looked at the dune behind me. I think it's moving. "Bass?"
David's POV
"Why isn't he responding?" I asked turning to watch the portal.
"AAAGGGGHHH!!!" screamed Dustin running slowly as a giant worm began to chase him. "No no no no no! Back off!" he yelled when it almost took a bite out of his coat.
"Poor guy." Hey. Tried to warn him.
'That you did love.' said Celestia in my head.
'Hope he's having fun at least. I know he likes excitement.'
'I know he will.'
The portal showed the warm coming back into view and with Dustin riding it. He had his guitar turned into a large spear and planted deep into the worm's brain.
"You like that? I think it's funny! You dig in the ground and I dig in your brain! Take me to the bloody crystal!" he continued to yell and the worm turned right and rammed into a mountain splashing it's brains everywhere.
Dustin's POV
"Oh! Yuck! I got orange worm blood all over me! Why does it feel so cold?"
"Bass." said Twilight in my ear. "I read a book that the worms have cold blood. That's how they can live so long in the desert without being harmed by temperature."
"So you basically want me to bath in this stuff? Already been done." I pulled out the spear and changed it to it's default bass appearance. The mountain the worm just head butted looked open.
"Jackpot! Torch mode!" I said turning the guitar into a torch. Yeah. I put a copy of that torch from the spider cave in my guitar. U jelly?
"Be careful." said both Vinyl and David. Well... at least I have two people that want me to come back in one piece.
[Was that a dune worm?!] <God! When was the last time we read a Dune book?> {We stopped after the second series of it came since Brian Herbert slaughtered the story.} [But the original was so good! If we do go back to Earth we should read it again!] {Yeah! Or since I'm a unicorn I'll just work on a spell to transport things here.} <Does the crystal we're after glow red?> [{Yeah why?}] <No reason. Just the giant crystal ahead of us is glowing a blood red.>
I turned my attention to the ominously glowing rock.
"Hmm..." I began to scan my environment. I need to double check my surroundings.
"What are you doing?" asked Twilight.
"This is obviously a trap."
"Can't you just grab it and run?" asked Celestia. I felt a cold barrel touch the back of my head.
"Turn around slowly." said a gruff voice. I turned slowly to see Big Red.
"Hello Big Red. Honestly can you not come up with a better pony name?"
"Just use Niko."
"Ah... human name. What do you expect to gain from this Niko?"
"Not much. I just like to mess with you."
"So you followed me into a desert with human technology and all because you want to mess with me?"
"Yes."
"What did I do to you?"
"You hurt my friend."
"How could your friend be someone like Blueblood?"
"I'll tell you later. First step away from the crystal." He put the gun in my face. I turned the white half of the torch into a gun and put it against his. "Mine's bigger."
"Mine's loaded." I cocked the hammer back. "Drop it." He put the pistol down. "Now get out of here before I set off the trap in this room."
"What?" I turned and ran to the crystal. When I grabbed it I was face to face with the queen of the worms.
"Why do you want this sacred crystal brave soul?"
"To protect my friends from the Nightmare."
"Ah... the Nightmare. This crystal is the only thing keeping her away from us."
"So if I take this crystal... I kill an entire species." [We can't do genocide can we?] <Never. We will never do that.>
"We could help you soul." said the worm. Her face was older than the other worm we killed and her teeth weren't showing. Why do worms have so many teeth? Oh well. She did have these beautiful sky blue eyes that showed how she only wanted the best for her children. "We can help your army fight. As long as this crystal remains here though. It is connect to our spirits by this cave."
"I... uh... I can't kill an entire civilization. Alright. Looks like we got some new soldiers!"
"Thank you soul for your kindness."
I turned to see Niko still scared shit less.
"Oh your still here! Niko meet..."
"Queen Wyeth." said the worm.
"Wyeth. Isn't she grand?" He could barely move. "Oh come on. Were you not chased by a large worm on your way here as well?"
"No. I wasn't. I was actually lost."
"Ah... well. Stick with me and I'll get you home." He nodded and I put my hoof on the earpiece. "Celestia. Beam me up."
"What?" she replied.
"Bring me home."
"OH. Alright. Please wait." I turned to the queen.
"Bye Wyeth. Take care!"
"You as well traveler with no home. You are always welcome here. You and your friends. All ponies."
I gave her a smile and waved as Niko and I were sent back to the castle.
"Thanks guys." I told them. I got a hug from Vinyl. Shes always so... worried.
"I'm getting out of here!" said Niko turning around.
"Wait! Don't you want to stay and meet everyone?" I asked him while meeting him at the door. It was hard getting out of Vinyl's hug.
"Why would I do that? I hate this world anyways!"
"Your here because you died a bad death and God thinks everyone deserves a second chance. I hope you know that."
"No... I didn't know... I'm sorry." He said. "I've just been angry and... hateful and Blueblood helped me out when I needed it."
"And that's why you fought for his honor. And for that I respect you." I offered him a bro-hoof. Do you know what he did? He accepted it. Niko of all people. He calmed down and his appearance changed. He was as tall as me and had a maroon coat and bright red hair and brown eyes.
"Thanks... Bass."
"It's Dustin. But in public let's stick with the pony names okay Red?"
"Alright. See you around." He left the castle and I turned to talk with the others.
"So now we got an army or a stronger little group at least. The spiders wouldn't help us. That's for sure." I told Celestia.
"Let's ask Hindsight." said Twilight. "Sight do you see anything?"
"No." said David. "I haven't had a vision in a while now."
"Is that a bad thing?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"It's a good thing. I didn't want to tell anyone but my visions were of us all being killed. But now I don't see that. Meaning we're making progress on preventing the inevitable."
"But we're not done yet." I told him. "We need more than spider strings and giant worms to fight Nightmare and her armies."
"If what I remember is true she's going after the griffons first." said David.
"Than we bet her to it." I took a seat. "But first a shower and some tea."
"We have 7 and a half weeks left." said Luna walking in. "We need to keep moral up. I don't want you overworking yourself Bass Strings."
"Yes ma'am." I held my arms out for a hug from Vinyl and she accepted.
"So I can talk now?" she asked.
"Yes." I told her. "You could always talk."
"We haven't had some... time in a while now. Your always so busy and it's... depressing."
"I'm sorry! I don't mean to hurt you! Tomaro we go out. Okay?"
"Yeah!" She gave me a large kiss on the lips.
[Well... *sniff* love is in the air tonight.] <Beta... I expect Dustin to be crying but not you.> {There's nothing wrong with crying. *sniffles.*} [I can't help it. Vinyl is just so sweet.] <Oh no. Don't go there.> [We've never had a love like her before.] <If you don't stop I'll cry...> {Alpha. It's not your fault.} <Don't do this to me man!> [It's not your fault.] <WHY!> he cried in his arms.<Why is she so kind and beautiful!> Beta walked over and gave him a bro hug. [Shh it's okay.] {You guys are like two seals fighting over a grape.}
"Sight." I asked David. "Don't.... think to hard on the future. I'm here now and Nightmare won't destroy this world again."
"Thanks Bass. Thanks for being a good friend."
"Anytime buddy." Celestia and Luna walked over to comfort David. Both of them? Why? Oh no... the images in my head! AW NO! [You are so immature.] <Act your age.> {I had most of my age locked away in a coma!} [Then keep acting like a kid then!] <Teenage riot!>
"So Vinyl. Where are we going?"
"We are going to... uh... I don't know. How about shopping?" Let's see. I've been paid a bit by Celestia. I don't know how much she put in my bank account though. Do I have a bank account even?
"Sure. We need to stop by the bank first and I need a shower."
"Oh of course. I need to talk to Octavia anyways."
"Alright. Meet you at the gate in ten minutes." [Hurry up and wash off this orange shit!] <It taste bad.> {...} [...You tasted it?] <Uh... no?>
"Sir. It appears that the one known as Bass has been putting together an army to prepare for us."
"Understood. Let's talk more of this over lunch." Hard Break got up and she followed me. We looked at the new base Nightmare put together. It was like a technology heaven for the everyday nerd. We had griffons, robots, and the ponies who volunteered were the leaders in charge of this organization. That's how Break got in. She trusted me with her life.
"Iron." said Nightmare on the radio. "Are you on your lunch break yet?"
"Am now."
"Alright. I was contacting to say you need some time off. I want to join you for a word."
"Yes ma'am." Break remained silent though and we made our way to the cafeteria. We took a seat as the griffon cook waited for our orders. After we all ordered sandwiches Nightmare was the first to break the silent.
"Iron. It appears that Bass or Dustin is proving to be quite the threat. He killed Arachnia and recruited Wyeth. He is more than likely to keep doing things like this and destroy us."
"Ma'am. I won't allow this to continue."
"Well if you brought David we could take his power and have a never ending army."
"May I have a word?" asked Break.
"Yes Lt. Break." said Nightmare.
"Your highness what if we infiltrate their base. Before they set up the shield our spies told us about."
"But who?" I asked. They both looked at me. "Uh..."
David's POV
I was looking out the window where Dustin and Vinyl met up at the gate and went on a date. Hah. That rhymed.
"Celestia. What else are you going to do to him?" I asked her.
"What do you mean?"
"We only have Dustin doing all the work. He's the only one taking this seriously."
"And you want to show more kindness and take his place." said Luna. "David. Please understand we are doing this for you."
"I do understand. You both care deeply about me and I love you both. But can we win this?"
"You know we can." said Celestia. "It's as your friend says. Don't lose hope."
"Right." Then a guard walked into the room.
"Your highness! The new soldiers are here!" New soldiers?
'We have some new ponies coming in. So we could have some extra defense while Dustin is out.' said Celestia in my head.
"Alright. Please take us to them." said Luna and Celestia. We all followed the guard and went to the train station. There were a few small new guys who look like they had no experience at all. Then in the next cart there were large more built soldiers with armor that seemed to know what they are doing.
"Soldiers." said Celestia. "Comrades. Friends. We are in grave danger. An old foe who has forever held a grudge against us is making another push for domination. We are counting on you to make sure that never happens and that all are civilians and allies are safe." The guards all cheered 'Hoorah!' and marched to the barracks. There was one I did notice though. In the middle, he was bigger than the rest. His armor was silver and red and he had midnight blue fur. He definitely stuck out of the crowd.
"Luna. Celestia. When did you ask these guys to come? And where?"
"We hired them from surrounding villages." said Celestia.
"Is something bothering you?" asked Luna.
"That big blue one. He has this... aura about him."
"He is quite the soldier." replied the night princess. "I think your just stressed and you see big ponies like him and think they are after you."
"Your right. Let's take a break. I need to clear my mind." Now I can't stop thinking about that one soldier. He reminds me of something. But what? *sigh* I'm just being cautious. Maybe Luna and Dustin are right. I need to stop freaking out about this stuff. Just lighten up.
Iron's POV
I looked around inside the guard barracks and noticed that each bed was special made and there was plenty of space for every soldier and their belongings. It's like they actually care. Nightmare cares too but her methods are better I think. They build character.
"Hey. What's your name?" asked this happy kid behind me.
"Oh! I'm Heat Steel." I told him. I just feel this fire... to fight! Yes! The hunt is back in my system! But I must keep my cover. Come on Iron. Think.
"That's cool. I'm Dark Night." said the small kid. He had black fur and short white hair. So young and full of hope. He would make a great soldier to Nightmare. Nice job me! Here for a few minutes and already making a friend. "What do you think of Nightmare?"
"I think she has a strong hatred for the princess. Even I don't know."
"You know her?"
"The princess? Yeah." I need to play it cool!
"Huh. I think Nightmare could be a good person but she has too much hatred in her heart. No one should have to hate something. Right?"
"Right..." Great. Now I have that sad feeling in my heart again. Damn it David! If I ever find you I will probably... not kill you... See?! I'm getting soft! Jesus! "No one should have to hate something without a reason."
"You seem to know a lot. Is it cool if I hang with you?"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't like how the others treat me. The entire ride over was them teasing me and about how I'm cannon fodder."
"Don't say that. I met this young soldier once. He was younger and smaller than you. And he was braver than anyone I have ever met. Even though he soon lost his life... he should be known as a hero."
"What was his name?"
"I never got to ask. That poor kid." I haven't forgotten that. What I did was... murder. I never killed in cold blood before that moment. Always in defense. But that kid came to me and I was just so angry. Nightmare is right. I need to control it. Only then can I redeem myself. "Who is messing with you?" I asked him.
"Those guys." He pointed to the large gray ponies with bat wings. Obviously Luna's guards.
"Hey. You guys!" I called them over. "Do you have something to say to my friend here?"
"Yeah. He's small, weak, and won't stand a chance against Nightmare. Hell, even a girl like Fluttershy could kill him."
I walked over to the one of the three ponies and I grabbed his head and brought it down on my back knee. I felt his nose break. One went for a punch and I grabbed his arm with one of my hooves and positioned myself to throw him out the window. After I did I looked at the last one.
"You got something to say?" He whimpered and left the building. "Good." I knelt beside the one on the floor with the bloody nose. "Listen. Soldier or not every one could fight for a good cause. I know this better than anyone." Like David for example. That kind young man would fight for his friends even if it killed him and he's a descent fighter himself. "Fight together or die alone." I got up and walked to Dark Night. "You alright?"
"Your the best friend I've ever had man!" I take it he was fine.
David's POV
I was eating some lunch in the castle. Luna in the big chair at the left end. Celestia on the right. Why are they so... apart?
"Why are you guys so far from each other?" I asked them.
"What do you mean?" asked Luna. She and Celestia both looked at the table and noticed this. "Oh... my. Your right! Sorry!" She grabbed her book and sandwich and took a seat across from me beside Celestia.
"I've never noticed." said Celestia. "I guess if you think about it this room has... gotten bigger."
"We do have more guest living here." I said. I heard a conversation from the hall and the Whooves walked in. Doctor and Derpy. Shouldn't they get hitched soon?
"Hey guys! We have the wedding planned for next week." said Derpy. She looked extremely happy. I don't know why people tease her for her eyes. There beautiful and unique. That's something to love.
"I say. Where are the others?" asked the Doctor. "I know Octavia is practicing in her room and that Dustin took Vinyl for a date."
"Let's see... We're here and I think Lyra and Bon-Bon should be visiting next week." If I remember correctly.
"Alright. Mind if we have a seat? Thanks." said the Doctor answering his own question. "This is nice. Wish I had a decent..."
"Muffin?" asked Derpy.
"Yes! Let's go for muffins! Anyone want muffins?" he asked. I felt my magic messaging system start vibrating. It was like a phone but it was a scroll. I opened it and it said.
'Tell Doc I want a Banana Nut muffin. ~ Bass.'
"Uh... Bass wants a Banana nut muffin." said Derpy. How did she do that?!
"Oh I love those!" He grabbed Derpy. "We'll be of now. Bye."
"Bye guys." said Derpy. She is rather intelligent if you couldn't guess. It's like she see's all. That's it! Her eyes are magical! But how did Dustin know they were offering muffins? *gasp* The Twilight Zone!
"No David." said Celestia. Than a guard came in.
"Princesses and Hindsight!" Aw... I don't get a title? "We had a problem with our soldiers."
"I'll check it out." said Luna. She got up and closed her book leaving it on the table. I watched her walk away leaving me only with my love.
"Want to play a game?" I asked her.
"Sure. What could it possibly be?" she asked moving closer.
"It's guess what I want to do."
"Oh my..." She moved her face closer to mine. "Only if a certain pony could guess what I need."
"Is it a spa day?" I guessed.
"I could go for one." She gave me her loving kiss and teleported us to the Ponyville Spa. Yeah. That's right. I like getting a massage. Is that so wrong? We saw the two spa sisters make their way to us.
"Can we give you our services princess and Sight?" Yes... they know me. Why? Because I'm a regular here.
"Yes please." we both said.
Oh about ten minutes after a steam room season and Celestia's hooficure we finally got to the massage.
"Oh this is my favorite part." I told her as they began rubbing our backs and patting us.
"You like being patted down?" asked Celestia.
"What? No! Hahaha... It's just so nice."
"You like it! Admit it!"
"I do!" And just as we were getting comfortable the royal guard came in. Son of a bitch.
"Your highness! We had an intruder!"
"Explain yourself!" demanded Celestia.
"One of our soldiers was a spy for Nightmare. He is escaping with Luna as a hostage!"
"Oh no! Tia!"
"I know!" She teleported all three of us to Canterlot. I saw that big blue pony change into a red shade. Iron!
"Iron come back!" yelled Dustin. He ran from the market booths and chased him down the road. Iron had Luna tied up and laid on his back. He also had a smaller soldier with him. He was wearing Celestia's guard armor.
"Back off Bass! I shall return for you!" He spread his steel wings and looked at the smaller pony. "Dark Night? Do you want to come with me to Nightmare's army?"
"Yes! I do!"
"Good choice!" They both spread out their wings and began to fly. Dustin threw a small black ball and it landed under Iron's wing.
"Sight! Tia!" He said looking at us. "I was too late."
"Guys!" said Vinyl catching up. "What happened?"
"They took Luna..." cried Celestia on my shoulder. She just lost her sister again.
"Don't worry Celestia. I threw a transmitter on him. It should reveal Nightmare's base and it even has a microphone." said Dustin holding a small black mic.
'Nightmare. I'm coming in.' It opened up and displayed a map showing our location as a triforce and their location as a big red dot.
"We are the triforce right?" I asked him.
"Yeah. I thought it would be cool. I have a plan." He said with a smirk.
"This is the worst plan you've ever had." complained David.
"What's not to like? I'll be disguised as Iron and infiltrate the dormant volcano they call a base."
"What are you going to do when you infiltrate the volcano?" asked Niko.
"You see. I'm going to show them my prisoners and then they will escort me to the cells, I get Luna, and leave."
"Prisoners?" asked David.
"Yeah. You and Niko."
"Oh hell no! I can't do that!" said David.
"Showtime." I said tapping his shoulder and walking to the door where the doctor ponies where making the fake costume that would cover my appearance. It was a magical outfit that even the face showed emotion. All I had to do was put on some fake black armor and put on a voice changer and BLAM instant Cold Iron.
40 minutes later
We met up outside of the castle for a carriage to take us to the outskirts of the base where no one would see us.
"What do you guys think?" I asked them.
"Considering I want to stab your ass... pretty good." said Niko.
"Don't talk to your commander that way!" I yelled at him.
"How do you know he's a commander?" asked David.
"Didn't you see the white and red stamp on his armor?"
"No."
"It meant commander. I know. I was a mercenary once."
We got in the carriage and it took a good 10 minutes till we stopped. The mic/ map I had displayed that Cold Iron just left the base.
"Alright guys." I said still in my new voice. "Hooves out. I need to cuff you."
"Aw... not cool."
"Stop whining David." said Niko. "It's only a potential death. Nothing more."
"Uh..." We both stopped to think about it. I couldn't move the fake steel wings I had on my back so we had to walk it. Outside a large group of griffon and pony soldiers greeted us. They spread out left and right and formed a path for us to walk in. I pulled my 'prisoners' till we got to the entrance.
[This is so fucking rad.] <Is it me or do I feel more like an asshole?> {I want to kick a puppy now because I'm a sophisticated evil assfMEOWk.} [Ooh! Look! A bitch who thinks he's tough! Well not when we kick his ass for taking Luna!] <Quiet. I want to hear what they tell us. We need information.> {I'll keep an eye out.}
"Commander." said a pony who meet us outside. Mare by the sound. She had a grey coat and short military cut hair. Kinda pretty though... hmm... the oddest things you think of when your undercover.
"Wassup?" I asked her.
"Uh..." she responded. "I see you got more prisoners. We'll escort them to the jail cells." Two guards came up and grabbed the cuffs on David and Niko.
"You asshole!" cried David. A guard smacked him and yelled "Don't look at the commander!"
I shrugged my shoulders and mouthed 'Sorry.'
"Come with me Iron. I need to show you something." she said escorting me inside. When we walked in I was just blown away by how organized they were. They had a futuristic base on the inside of a volcano! This is so cool! It'd be a shame to blow up.
"Permission to speak?" she asked.
"Uh... uh... Permission acknowledged."
"I really need to speak with you in private." We continued walking around the base. "Don't be nervous around me. What happened that night should continue my love."
<Let's totally fuck with him.> {I know just what to say to ruin his reputation.}
"I like men." I told her.
"Oh..." Her mouth immediately shuttered up and closed.
"Have you broken the prisoner yet?" I asked her.
"She hasn't spoken sir."
"Good girl."
"Excuse me?"
"Huh?"
"Did you say good girl?"
"Oh... uh... Yeah I want to talk to her myself."
"Understood sir." We walked upstairs. "How did you capture those 2?"
"I found them spying so I took the measures upon myself to... uphold them."
"Excellent job... sir." I don't feel sorry worth a damn Iron is a douche! I hope she dumps his ass.
[Tell me about it. Iron is a total dick.] <I hate him more than Jersey Shore.> {Oh snap! Oh... Beta! You had better pick it up man. Alpha just set a new low.} [I'll think of one.]
We made our way outside of the prison blocks and she pressed her hoof against the scanner to open it. Before we went in she got a call and a hologram appeared from the wall.
"Break. I'm on my way home. Meet me later okay? Love ya." It sounded like Iron.
"So that's your name." She pulled a gun on me and fired lasers at me. "Lasers? Really! I need to step my game up!" I twisted and gave her a back smack. When she was down I grabbed her and picked her up to carry with me.
[Yeah let's hit a bitch. Great plan.] {Shut up and scan her gun! We could use lasers!} <On it.>
I summoned the guitar and I turned Beta into a trench knife and kept him in my pocket. I turned Alpha into a laser pistol and made my way into the prison cells.
"Turn yourself in!" commanded a griffon at the end of the hall. I stuck my head out to see and he fired at me. I twisted around and shot him in the head.
"That's 1." I walked in deeper and found Niko in a cell. I took the unconscious mare's hoof and pressed it against the scanner releasing him.
"About damn time." said Niko walking to the dead griffon and taking the rifle. "Let's get the others."
We walked further in and one tried to ambush me. I quickly drew Beta and stabbed him in the upper part of his head.
"Damn!" said Niko.
"How about you do something?" I asked him. He twisted around and started gunning down an army. I saw about 17 fall dead.
"Oh shit... You got this!" I left him and found David in another cell. I put Break's hoof on the scanner and freed him.
"Thank god your here Dustin. They were about to figure out who I was."
"Do you know where Luna is?"
"Upstairs in the torture room." he said. "Do you have an idea or do we kill all these fuckers?"
"That is my idea." Only us humans dare to get our hands dirty. For a better future. <I don't see a pony killing.> [Didn't we read Fallout: Equestria?] {Yeah we did. Are you comparing me to Little Pip?} <Not at all.>
I made my way upstairs and found the large room where Luna was waiting by herself in. She looked fine. I used the scanner and dropped Break of so I could move around some more.
"You again?" she asked. "I told you once I'm not saying anything."
"Luna it's me! Niko, David, and I came in to get you out."
"Oh thank the moon its you Dustin."
"Yeah now let's get you out of there." She ran out and we all regrouped.
'Warning. Warning. We have an intruder.' said the intercom. 'The intruder is disguised as commander Cold Iron. Repeat shoot Cold Iron on sight. Except the real Iron. Let's keep him alive please. Thank you.' It sounded like Nightmare.
"Let's kill her now while we're here." said Niko.
"We didn't come here for that. We got what we did come here for though so let's leave." said David.
"He's right Niko. Let's go home!" We ran into the garage and locked the door behind us so they couldn't come in. I looked around and saw a bunch of human vehicles built for ponies and griffons. "No way..." we were all surprised. "Scan some stuff guys!"
[Like what?] {Like the motorcycle and the jet.} <Just those two? Okay.>
"What do we take?" asked David.
"How about this one?" asked Luna. She pointed to the large jet with a large back for holding many troops.
"Alright! Good eye!" I got in the cockpit with Niko. David got in the back with Luna.
"You know how to fly this?" asked David.
"Yeah!" both Niko and I said. He had control of the guns and I had the jet.
"Alright Niko! Blow those doors down!" I pointed to the hanger doors. He shot the cannon ripping the entire wall out.
"Okay. Not the door. But it will do." he said.
"They have this much firepower?!" I asked grabbing the throttle stick. I flew out of the building and we looked at the screen on our right that showed what was behind us. I saw a bunch of soldiers, Break, Iron, and Nightmare running and stopping cold in our tracks. Niko handed me the speaker microphone. "Suck on that you bastards! FMEOWk you!"
"Did you just meow like a kitten?" asked Niko.
"Don't want to talk about it. David hows it going back there?" I asked. No respond.
"We did close the door back there right?"
"Yeah. Don't worry. We got a camera." I switched between the different screens and we stopped on the one of both of them making out in the back. "Oh!"
"Jeez! Isn't he already dating her sister?!"
"Oh my god!" I grabbed the microphone. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"Ah!" they both jumped.
"Don't tell my sister please!"
"She can read minds!" Niko said in it. "I know. She's done it before."
"Me too. She gave me a curse so when ever I say the f-word I... you know... fMEOWk."
"That is too cute to be a curse." said David.
"Your in no position to flatter me mister." I told him. Then I cut off the radio and watched as they went right on back to making out.
[What if he marries both Luna and Celestia?] <Never gonna happen.> {Don't tell me they do... incest...} <Aw don't put that image in our head bro!>
"Dustin." said Niko tapping me no the shoulder. "What if the sisters do incest?"
"I was just thinking that. There's no way that would happen."
"Wanna bet?"
"No. If I do bet it's going to be that they do."
"I bet 40 bits that they don't."
"Your on."
[Vinyl spent most of our money!] {No she didn't! We didn't have much to begin with and all she got was some materials to build a new sound board.} <And those glasses.> {She had hers repaired. She just picked them up.} <Oh... Than... Celestia should pay us more!> [Let's hope we win this bet first.]
"Passengers..." said Niko on the intercom "We are landing in Canterlot. Please make sure all your belongings are with you when you leave. Thank you."
"How do I cut this off?" I asked him.
"How did you cut it on?"
"I just flicked switches up."
"Flick them down." I did as was told and the engine stopped. "Was that hard?"
"Yeah... it's still on." We looked around and noticed that all the lights were still on. "Here we go. Off button." I pushed it and the engine died.
"Whatever." We left and were surrounded by a crowd of people. "Whoa!"
"Easy easy." I pushed them away gently and walked to the back. I opened it and let David and Luna out. Still can't believe what I saw though...
"Great job David!" said Celestia. Niko and I stood their without getting noticed by anybody. We did all the work!
"We did all the work!" said Niko.
"I know!"
"Now boys. Calm down." said Twilight.
"What?" we asked in unison. [<What?>]
"Don't be jealous." said Applejack.
"Fine..." We both crossed our arms and looked between David and Luna. "We still can blackmail them."
"Aw yeah." He said offering a bro-hoof.
"You two... can you keep the secret to yourselves?" asked David turning away from the cameras.
"I don't know... How about you Red?" We still have to keep our identity in public.
"Anything could happen Bass. Anything."
"We might end up putting it in Red's paper."
"Great idea! Wouldn't you agree Luna?"
"No..."
"Yes? Okay. You said so." Niko and I chuckled silently.
"What do you want?" asked Celestia. "I'm already aware of what happened."
"Your pretty rude.for a princess. Always digging in people's heads."
"I don't have a problem sharing Sight with my sister. Right Luna?"
"Not at all Tia." We both remained quiet. I held my left hoof out and he placed 40 bits in it. I put it in my pocket and noticed why the crowd kept on staring at me awkwardly.
"Oh yeah!" I grabbed the mask and ripped it off. "It's me!" They all smiled and took pictures of me.
"Bass!" yelled Vinyl. "What were you doing!"
"Saving the princess sweetie." She pinned me against the jet.
"My my... what a hero."
"Does the hero get a reward?"
"Yes, love." She said pressing her lips against mine. It was a victory kiss! Whoo!
"I need a girl." said Niko. I pointed to Octavia. "What? Why would someone as nice and fancy as her go out with a monster like me?" I pointed to her again still not breaking the kiss. "Should I try?" I pointed again. "Alright." He walked over and started talking to her. Brave fella.
<Let's make this night even better!> [Oh yeah. Gonna make some music!] {Yeah? Just like that?} [...] <...ass...>
Vinyl and I turned to see Celestia and Luna leave. Soon the crowd left and a bunch of pegasus guards wrapped chains around the jet and took it to engineering to be taken apart and scanned.
"Hey Vinyl. Wanna try something out?"
"What?" I turned the guitar into a futuristic motorcycle without wheels. I got on it and she sat on my lap.
"I also scanned a jet." The cycle started flying and we went up above the castle.
"Whoa!"
"You ever fly before?"
"Yeah but not like this!"
"Just kiss me." She smiled and wrapped around me. I felt her ripping all the armor off of me and opening the suit.
"Can't stand to see you dressed like him." she said.
"Neither can I. Wanna go home?"
"It's cold up here."
"Hahaha.... Alright. To bed!" I grabbed the handlebars and flew to our window. She used her magic to open it from the inside and we got off the cycle and went in. I turned Clementine back into the guitar and placed it against the wall.
"Ready?"
"Ready." One last kiss till I killed the lamp light. Hell of a night. Right? See what I did there? I rhymed like... 3 times! Yeah!
I sat up in bed looking around me. I didn't dream... again. All I could think about was how fucked up it was how David gets two princesses?! Did anyone else hear them besides me and Niko? Celestia's cool with it! I thought this was Equestria not... West Virginia!
"Are you okay?" asked Vinyl.
"I'm fine. Just thinking hard."
"About what?"
The entire castle had a more... technological sense to it...
"Did the castle get upgrades?" I asked her.
"Yeah! The ponies in the engineering fields have put up computers everywhere and holograms and..." I put my hoof on her mouth.
"Alright. When was this?"
"Yesterday." It must be related to that jet we hijacked. "Want to check it out?"
"Yeah." I got up and didn't change out of my pajamas. Yep. I'm the only guy walking around in white and blue striped pj's.
"Hello Bass." said one of the scientist ponies. She was a redhead and had glasses. Nerd... [Nerd!] yelled Beta. <Don't do it! Remember Revenge of the Nerds?> {Oh god... I hope Vinyl doesn't cheat on me with a nerd.} [Aren't we nerds?] {No. We're geeks. Their is a difference.}
"Hello..."
"Dr. Gigabyte."
"I'm gonna call you Giga. What's going on?"
"We made so many discoveries with the technology you brought from Nightmare's Lair." Aw... That's cute. They came up with the perfect name for a bitch!
"Cool. So just computers?"
"No. We got weapons and vehicles and..."
"Keep it simple."
"We got more things."
"Thank you." I left the room with Vinyl.
"What do you think?" she asked.
"I've seen enough technology from Earth."
"Is it that similar?"
"Yeah but less destruction. Hey Vinyl... want to check out something with me?"
"Sure! What is it?" I grabbed her hoof and went to Octavia's room. She was sleeping on her bed and we tip-toed to her closet. Inside was a hidden button which opened a back room.
"Whisper. I built a secret back room."
"When was this?"
"Last week." We went inside and closed the door behind us. "We can speak louder now. Soundproof and it has a magic cloaking spell so the princesses can't tell where we are."
"The princesses?"
"That's where we are going. I need to check on something." We walked down the tunnel into we got to a one way mirror. I replaced the dressing mirror with this.
[Oh... Sneaky a duh monkey.] <You no speak Chinese!> {Dede mow!} [What's that?] {It's Vietnamese for 'Get lost.'} <My feelings...>
"What are we looking for... Oh my lord!" cried Vinyl. We watched as David had a little... three-way going on.
"Oh no! It's true!"
[My eyes! They can't look away!] <Beta no!> [It's too late for me... I'm losing it...] {Just hold on. I'm getting us out of here.} [What has been seen can not be unseen.]
"That's Macbeth." said Vinyl. If you don't remember she can see Alpha and Beta.
"It is. Let's go!" We went up the hall unto a blue door with a double quaver on it. "Here we go. Our room."
"Jeez... What did we see?"
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing!" I opened the door and we both fell from the roof onto our beds. "Forgot to move it behind the closet."
"That was fun!" She closed the door with her magic. "Well... mostly anyways."
Meanwhile...
Octavia didn't move from her bed but her eyes were wide awake.
"I think their is someone in my room..." she said quietly.
David's POV
I sat in bed with my two beautiful woman at my side.
"Did he think we wouldn't find out about his tunnel?" asked Luna.
"Let him have his fun." said Celestia.
"I want him to watch." I told them. "It totally messes with him. Or... Beta at least."
"Hmm... Well played." said Celestia.
Dustin's POV
I spent the bast 5 hours having a bad dream. The dream was that Beta went into shock so Alpha and I were doctors and we had to bring him back.
"Scalpel." I asked Alpha.
"Here." He handed it to me.
"Hammer and nails."
"Take this."
"Drill."
"Plugged in."
"Well... nurse. It's official. We made it worse." We both looked at the mutated body on the table. "How did he go into shock anyways?"
"He saw the princesses and a friend all having sex at the same time."
"Ah... then why didn't we use a forget me spell?"
"That's a good question." We both remained quiet.
"Alright. Nurse Jackie! Another dead body!" Niko walked in wearing a dress and carried the body to the morgue.
I woke up and stretched. Alpha did the same. Beta was... rocking back and forth in the fetal position. He stared at both of us like we wanted to murder him.
<What's the matter with me? Do you need a hospital?> [NO! Dustin! Don't make me go!] {Than forget what we saw!} <We can do that. Remember Beta?> [Do it before David goes back in our head. I don't want that happening again.}
I lifted Vinyl off of me and went the restroom. I hope today ends up... better than before.
40 minutes later
We all, and be we I mean me and my friends and all the guards, waited outside.
"So this new vehicle." said Celestia describing the carrier jet "Will be used for the guards who can't fly or want the drop on the enemy. Our very own Bass shall test it out."
[Oh fuck... What did I tell you?!] {What did you tell me?} [Uh... shut up!] <It can't be that bad.>
We got in the cockpit and Niko got in the back.
"All right. Go high and then I'll test out dropping." He said. I keep forgetting... Niko is a pegasus. Why are there no Earth ponies from Earth? Honestly. What's wrong with Earth ponies? I mean... I'm happier as a unicorn but... seriously.
We went in the air and Niko opened the back door.
"Keep it steady." As soon as he said that he jinxed us. The helicopter started spinning in circles and losing control. "What the fuck did you do?!"
"I don't fMEOWking know!"
"Learn to fly!" We crashed in the woods and crawled out. "God dammit!"
"What happened back their?" I felt the magic scroll in my pocket start vibrating. I opened it and read it out loud. "Cheers! ~ Hard Break."
"That bitch! When we upgraded she must have gotten in the system!"
"We got to stop her before it gets out of hand." Niko flew and I summoned my guitar and turned it to the motorcycle, this time with wheels, and drove back.
[How did she get in?] {The tech we stole! She must still have access to it!} <Let's talk to Giga. She might know.>
We went to the lab.
"Gigabyte! I need help!"
"What did you do? We lost control of everything!" cried a redheaded pony on my left. Another redhead walked towards me on my right.
"Sorry about Megabyte. She's a little... high strung."
"Answer me. What do we do to stop Break?"
"Someone gets inside and stops her program from the inside."
"Oh... that's not good."
3 minutes later
"No! Let me go!" Niko and David strapped me down on a chair.
"You need to fix this." said Niko.
"Why me?"
"Because your the best with technology." said David.
"Yeah! That's a reason to keep me alive!"
"Whatever." Niko hit me upside the head with a hammer making me see only 1's and 0's. They circle around me and sent me inside the world.
"Whoa! It's so... tron?" We watched all the memory flow through the system. [Uh... this is new?] I looked to my shoulders and saw that Beta had a white suit with blue highlights and Alpha had a black suit with red highlights. I had a white suit with red. How adorable!
"This is... sweet actually." <Don't enjoy this.> "Why can't I summon my guitar?"
On the outside
The Clementine went through the wall and knocked down Niko.
"Uh oh. He's trying to summon it inside the computer." said David. "Quick... Byte. Get download a weapon."
"I'll try." she ran to her computer.
inside
"What's happening?" [I don't know! They must have blasted our sub-consciousnesses into the computer.] {That's just great! So if we die in here...} <We die for real.>
"Hold your hoof out." said Byte in an echo-y voice.
"Why? Whoa!" I had a blue cannon on my arm. "Is this a mega buster?"
"A what?" They don't know what Megaman is? Oh... IT... IS... ON!
"Nothing Byte. Tell me where to go."
"Go to the firewall. It's blocking the system where Break should be in."
"What does it look like?"
"See the big orange wall on fire?"
"Oh... yeah?"
"There you go dumb nuts."
"Aw..." I ran forward unto a group of Shadow programs came at me. They looked like griffons and ponies.
"Stop him!" said Break.
"Where did you get this technology Break?" I asked her.
"From home."
"Your a human?" One of the programs shot at me but I took cover.
"Oh so you know more about me than I do you Dustin."
"And yet here I am!" I took a few shots and killed the Shadows. "Look at that! I'm shooting yellow lemons like in the old Megaman X games!"
"Your so old-fashioned." said David and Niko on the intercom.
"Damn kids and their new current games." I ran around some corners and looked at the long narrow hall. "If this is tron than can I just use a light cycle?"
"No. We don't have those." said David.
"Fine. Look's like I'm booking it." I continued walking until an old pony appeared directly ahead of me with a bridge.
"Let's see you beat the gate keeper!" yelled Break with a manacle laugh.
"To pass the bridge and you three you must answer my questions three." said the old hermit. He can see Alpha and Beta? "First. What... is your name?"
"Dustin." <Alpha.> [Beta.]
"Good. Second... what... is your quest?"
"To stop Break from controlling all of our systems inside the castle."
"Excellent. Third... what... is your favorite color?"
<Red!> [Blue!] "Green."
"Oh... okay you can pass."
"Huh... thank you very much." I walked past him on made my way across the old wooden bridge.
INTERMISSION!
I continued walking across until I got to the end.
"Yay! I did it!"
"You haven't won yet!" yelled a younger male.
"Who is this?"
"This is Dark Night!"
"Oh! Your that little guy who ran away with Iron right?"
"Don't call me little!" He summoned a large black demonic figure in front of me. When it turned and looked at me it glowed red.
"Fffuuu-" [Fffuuu-] <Fffuuu->
"Yes you are fucked!" We all jumped. "Shit out of luck! I am complete and my cock you will suck! This world is will be mine! And your first in line! You came to this realm and you must now die!"
"Sorry bud. I've listened to every Tenacious D song out there and I know your weakness!" I charged the mega buster and shot of his horn.
"Ow! My fucking horn! Oh no!"
"Return to where you came! Until you are complete again!"
"Nnnoooo!" He stated falling into the abyss he crawled out of. "Fuck you Dustin! And fuck you Megaman! I'll get you ponies!" The hole closed leaving us in awe.
[We killed the devil?] <Damn.>
I walked to the firewall and was intercepted by a large fire program. It took the from of an alicorn eating nachos.
"Who in the bloody hell are you?"
"Uh... I'm that one guy... can I get some nachos?"
"Wank of. These are mine."
"Aw you sorry excuse for a nutter. Do you know who your talking to?"
"Your that Dustin right?"
"Yeah."
"Good to meat you. I'm Eternal Light. These Nightmare assholes put me inside the computer and make me upgrade there systems."
"How about you come work for us?"
"Sounds good and all but I can't leave till Break is taken care of."
"Drop the firewall and I'll kill her."
"Deal! Good luck man!" He disappeared with the firewall leaving a box of nachos on the floor with me.
"*sniff* It's beautiful." I sat down to take a break and munch on the chips. Cheesy goodness. [Sounds cheesy to me.] <Aw... you beat me to it.> {Hey Alpha. What do you call cheese that isn't yours?} <Nacho cheese.> {... Party pooper.}
"Why haven't you face me yet?" asked Break.
"Because I'm enjoying myself!"
"Well hurry up." I ate the nachos as slow as I could. "Your just a jerk." the box blew up in front of me.
"My nachos!"
"Face me!"
"Fine!" I ran up the ramp.
"Alright Bass." said Byte on the intercom. "Those tubes are sending all the memory to the area ahead of you. It's definitely a trap."
"You don't know how to comfort people do you?" I asked.
"Okay. I know you'll win... I hope."
"There you go again." I made my way up and met Break and Night head on.
"So the brave idiot finally makes his way to his death." said Break.
"What? You mad bro?"
"That you made me hate Iron!" She shot a series of spikes at me.
"Beta Zone!" The arm cannon shot out a giant shield which evaporated her spikes.
"Nice reflexes." said Night. "But in here we can do what we want." He flew up in the sky and a large light filled the air.
"Uh oh..."
"Now die!" He came down in the appearance of a dragon with a sword. I dodged to my left and grabbed Break as a human shield.
"Now back off before she gets it!" I held the cannon to her head and she left. In the top left corner of my eye it said 'Heavy Break has left the game.'
"Where were we?" asked Night.
"Guys! Wanna help?"
"I'm trying! It's a lot harder than it looks." said Niko.
"Just type in the konami code!"
"What?"
"↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A!"
"Okay... nothing happened."
"You probably did it wrong."
"No!"
"Do it again. ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A!" I yelled ducking the sword swipe.
"Nothing's happening!"
"You can't cheat in this world!" yelled Night. "I know every inch of this domain and you are just a virus. I can kill you right now."
"That's fine. In the real world your just a bitch with a keyboard." He raised his sword high and brought it down. I stepped left and the sword got stuck in the floor.
"Damn." I jumped on his arm. "What are you doing?" I got on his back and shot him in the head a few times with the buster. When I was done all the circuitry was showing. I reached in hoping to find his memory chip.
"Hold still damn it!" I yelled at him.
"Don't touch that! No! Stop!" I grabbed the back wires and pulled them out sending him onto the floor unconscious. "Damn you!"
"Aha! Got the chip! With this I can find out your bug's location and destroy it."
'Dark Night has left the game.' was what appeared.
"Byte what can you do with this chip?"
"So much! I can terminate our transmission with Nightmare's army and I can destroy the bug. Or we could turn the bug onto our side and send it to their system."
"Do it." I felt a warm light surround my body and I awoke in the real world. "God... What the..." I held my hooves out and tried to squint my eyes. It was... harder to see. "Why can't I see so well?"
"Hibernation sickness." said Gigabyte.
"Well that's perfect. Sight I have a pair of glasses in my room-" I was cut off when he teleported them right in front of me. "Or just give them to me now."
"You had us worried their..." said Celestia.
"Don't be. You have full control again." I looked in my right hoof. "Well there's my guitar. Where were you when I needed you?" [Hey... we tried.] <I didn't get to do much.> {Don't think like that. We haven't had to fight someone that's super strong yet so be thankful.}
Meanwhile...
"Damn!" cried Nightmare slamming her fist on the table. "One pony. Just one!"
"We're sorry ma'am." said Night. He was beside Break bowing on the floor. Nightmare threw a book at him.
"I didn't say you could speak! You couldn't beat one pony inside a virtual reality. Think about the army they've built up!"
"Ma'am." said Iron. "We have it under control."
"Look. We watch our resources and we build up our army. Are the dragons ready to go?"
"Yes ma'am." said Break.
"Good. We have one good thing to think about. Dismissed." The three leaders walked out of the room. "*sigh" What to do. What to do. Hmm..."
Who's ready for something stupid? I'm not since it's about me. So this whole time I have been putting 'Tomaro' in my stories. The auto correct didn't tell me it was spelled 'Tomorrow.' Yeah. This whole time. Isn't that fucked up?
"Wake up." said an outside voice. Guess I blacked out.
"Huh?"
"Bass wake up." said Vinyl. I looked around to see where I was. Our room.
"What happened?"
"You blacked out and have been sleeping for 15 hours. Time to rise and shine."
"Okay." I got up and felt all my organs were moving again. "Ow."
"Come on. Do you know what day it is?"
"Is it... Let me sleep all day... day?"
"No. It's mare's day."
"Oh! That's cool! What happens?"
"All the mares go into heat and force stallions into hiding."
"... What?"
"Yeah! Didn't you know that?"
[Oh god... we're gonna get raped.] <No we're not. I'm sure Dustin will get us out of here.> {Yeah we're getting raped.}
"Look. As long as you don't come out of hiding for the next 3 days you wont ever get raped. Okay?"
"Alright Vinyl. When does it begin?"
"Well... I'd say about 12 minutes. My bladder's about to blow!" she ran into the bathroom.
{Alright! Let's go go go!} [Wanna switch out of pajamas?] {No time!} <Where are we hiding?> {We did build a secret tunnel.} [I think the others know about it.] {Right. We were volunteered for copter pilots.} <Only ten minutes left!> {It's not really volunteering if you choose someone you know?} <Move!> [Alright! Hi ho Dustin! Away!]
I neighed and ran into the hall. It was chaos. Mare's all over were going into heat. This never happened before! Well... we weren't in Equestria for a May before. So... I guess that makes sense. Still this is pretty messed up.
"Help!" I heard a cry from Octavia's room. I ran and opened the door only to see Niko behind tied down by her.
"Let her go Octavia."
"You want some of this?" she asked. Her face was full of lust and seduction.
"In that case... keep doing whatever."
"Dustin help!" he cried.
"Fine." I went to the kitchen and came back. "Who wants a piece of candy?" I asked her holding it up. "That's right. You do. You want a piece of candy. Get out of here!" I yelled at Niko. "You want it? You want it? I said run!" He untied himself and ran past me in the hall. I gave Octavia the bag of candy I found and booked it.
[How did you know she likes candy?] {I didn't. I just wanted some.} <You are so... random.>
"Hmm hmhmhmhm..." I laughed with my mouth closed. I was chewing on some of the candy I 'borrowed.'
"Thanks for getting me out."
"No prob. This is my first mare's day."
"Oh... than watch out. We need to get to the shelter." He grabbed my hoof and held me close taking cover behind a wall. All the royal maids were chasing the guards in the hall and... well... basically fMEOWking them. Aw what? Even my commentary is blocked! Damn curse. This is getting old!
"Dustin. Can you teleport us?" asked Niko.
"To where?"
"The bunker. It's outside the castle gardens."
"I'll try." I closed my eyes and sent us outside the labyrinth.
"Alright. Nice. It should be over... AHA! There!" He pointed to the hidden steel house. We ran and tried to open the doors but it wouldn't budge.
"Is there anyone in their?" I asked. No reply.
"Come here." said Niko picking me up and holding me like a spear or something heavy like that.
"Watch it."
"Shut up and light up your horn." I used my magic to heat up my horn (Hehehe) <No time for sex puns!> [{It's the perfect time!}]
Anyways... He used me as a blowtorch. (Hehehe... blow.) <God dammit!> [Hahaha...]
Whatever. We got in the door and sealed it behind us.
"Nice. We made it." He cut the light on and what I saw was pretty cool. It was a house built inside a small round metal bin. They had enough food and supplies in here to last me through the Apocalypse. I saw a bathroom, a few bedrooms, a living room, and a game room in case we get bored.
"I don't think we should help anyone else." I said cutting the TV on. It showed an army of women chasing a group of about 8 men. They had a chance to get out but... I can't say they will.
"We could try." We heard a small bang outside.
"Shh!" I told him cutting the light off. I glowed my horn like a flashlight and we went to the door to look out the one way windows. I didn't know they even made these. Outside we saw David running from both the princesses. "Oh... hahaha!"
<Poor David.> [BWAHAHAHA!]
"HAhahaha!" Niko went off. "He deserves that. Two princesses. What do you expect?"
"I don't know... oh... I can't breath..."
"Well... we're safe. This bunker is magic proof. The only thing they can do is touch it."
"They can't teleport inside?"
"No. Isn't that awesome!"
"It is!" [What are we going to do for 3 days.] <I miss Vinyl.> {Look. We're going to make it through this. We aren't getting raped.}
"If we teleport David in here will they know?" I asked Niko.
"I doubt it. Give it a try." I closed my eyes and brought the lucky guy into the building.
"No! Ah! Oh... thank you guys...*heavy pants*"
"You okay there?" I asked him.
"Yeah. Just peachy. Forgot what today was and didn't prepare."
"This happened to you guys before?" I asked them. They both nodded. "So that... oh... I"m sorry. What about kids?"
"There fine. Unless they reach the 12 year border. Than they usually... turn. Same problem with boys." said Niko.
"Yikes. Let's see who else I can save."
"There's no point." said David.
"What?"
"I was the last one to leave the castle..."
"Oh no... so just us 3." I looked out the window where Celestia and Luna were both arguing about how he disappeared with out a trace. We all put out ears against the wall to listen to them.
"Did you see the aura around him? It was purple and green. Dustin's nearby!" said Celestia.
"Oh goodie. I want payback on him. Oh how I would rather stay with David."
"Relax." said Celestia. "We'll get them out. I know Dustin's weakness at least."
We all stood back. I cut the light on since they can't find us.
"Alright. We stay quiet. We divide up the supplies, and we pray for all the others." said David.
"Oh yeah! We got a plan going on!" I said. Niko sighed and took a seat by the table.
"What's the matter big guy?" asked David.
"It's Octavia. She... I don't know what she's going to do."
"Relax Niko. I gave her some candy." I said.
"Oh right." started David. "She loves to play with her food and organize it. Don't know why. Anyways it will keep her busy for the most part."
"Alright. Thanks for comforting me."
"I can't say the same about Vinyl." I said.
"Don't worry. I tried to open your door a few minutes ago and it was locked. She doesn't want to mount on anybody I guess."
"That's good!" [Bless her.] <I really feel bad for Cold Iron.> {What?} <He's got Break and Nightmare to deal with.>
"Oh man." said Niko.
"You can see them?" I asked. He nodded. "Huh. Alright. How long does this last again?"
"3 days." said David.
"Uh... oh boy."
Heat of the moment part 2. Things end well for one of us.
"Alright. Bass's video log." I said into the camera. I heard a scream on my right and looked around the alley I was in. "Our plan backfired. It's only about 5'o clock in the evening on the second day. Let's recap shall we...
1. Guess who upgraded the safe house with the new system. Gigabyte. So Celestia got the master code and destroyed our little save haven.
2. Uh... all my friends have been taken away. I'm still trying to get to them but... it's not gonna change anything.
"And let's see what else. I've been hiding in this alleyway for the past... hmm 11 hours. My bum is numb. Hehehe..." [Tell them about the castle!] "Oh right! This is a messed up story..."
Flashback time!
I was under some of the rubble when the mares blew up the wall. You'd think with the master code that they would... open the door. But instead they disabled the magic and destroyed it. FMEOWk you do.
"Help!" cried David getting dragged away by both princesses. I couldn't get out though. Niko high tailed it and ran. Where? I don't know!
Anyways... After about 40 minutes and they all left I finally got out and had to sneak to the castle. I saw Red and Octavia... yeah... well he was enjoying it at least. I couldn't get near the princesses quarters. It was literally surrounded by an army of sex crazed mares.
"Well I set off the trap." I told the camera. "It wasn't me walking or sneezing. It was me... sighing in relief. How they heard that and not the clopping of my hooves I will never know."
So... I ran away as fast as I could. I used my guitar to do the jet bike but that seemed to attract more of them. I crashed in Ponyville where there are more mares and I've been hiding behind this dumpster ever since!
"Yay! End of story!" I clapped my hooves together for the camera. "I'm thinking about just turning myself in. It's better than starving and waiting to get raped. I mean honestly, free sex! If I had no dignity I would be out there right now."
I tried to get up from the dumpster while still talking to the camera.
"If you are watching this... than remember that... I tried and-" Pinkie jumped on my back. "GET THE FMEOWK OFF OF ME!"
"No way silly filly!"
"GOD!" I slammed her against the wall and started climbing the building. Aw... I left my camera. <Run dammit!> {I can't run more than 22 mph!} [You can in Alpha Wave!] {<Good point.>}
"Alpha Wave!" I started out running Pinkie and every mare I attracted. "Suck on that you meanly mouthed bastards!" I yelled while still running on the rooftops. "Oh shit!" I feel down and landed on my face. "Ah... damn... face plant." [Get up!] {I can't! I'm all disoriented.} <Just run. We'll do the rest.>
I began running again as Beta and Alpha moved my body. "Sorry!" I yelled to every mare they pushed down. I made my way into the Everfree Forest so they wouldn't find me.
[They stopped running!] <The Everfree Forest!> {Let's go deeper.}
I switched back to normal mode and began my journey to the center of the Everfree Forest!
David's POV
I tried to get out of the chair I was strapped in. All I had was Celestia and Luna looking at me with seductive eyes.
"Can I help you?" I asked them politely.
"Just us? Oh I'm so happy!" said Luna. Oh no...
'Oh yes.'
'This isn't really comfortable. If you let me go-'
'We can't let you go David! Not yet.'
They both jumped on top of the chair I was in and started getting closer. "No! No no no no nonononono!"
Niko's POV
"Octavia can we take a break?" I asked her. I heard a whip crack. "No no let's continue."
"That's a great idea."
"This would be better if I wasn't tied up."
"But the last time I untied you, you tried to run!"
"That doesn't mean I will do it this time."
Dustin's POV
Oh god oh god oh no...
"ROAR!" screamed the manticorn behind me.
"Stop following me!" I yelled at it. He obviously wants some food. "I'm not edible!" I yelled at it. I started to climb the rocky cliff. This must keep it busy... or not. It appears that he can climb. This reminds me of the lion king.
"Sorry." I told it before kicking him in the face. When he feel back and landed a bunch of female manticorns jumped on him.
<Oh jeez... he wanted help.> {I thought this place would be safer!} [Now the moon. That was safe.] {Don't tempt me to go back.} <But we never went moon exploring.> [We were about to but David stopped our banishment.] {Look. Maybe later but first let's get out of here.}
I teleported to the top of the largest tree to get a better view of my surroundings. I turned my head to the right to see I was in a nest with a momma bird and her babies.
"Uh... What's up?"
"SQUAWK!"
"Oh Christ! AH!" I jumped over the edge and turned my guitar to it's jet bike form again. "That sucked." [Oh your telling me. We left our friends and here we are running from rapist birds!] <It wasn't our fault that we left our friends.> {Alpha's right on this one. We tried.} [Well... Niko's enjoying himself.]
"What's that?" I asked pointing to this random chest. <I don't know. Go open it.>
I walked over like an adorable little warrior and bravely opened it until a swarm of bats scared the shit out of me.
"AAAAHHH!" [Brave warrior. HAhahaha.]
Inside the chest was a map! A compass! and a skeleton of a dead pony wearing a familiar green tunic. <You should... ah... take the green robe. Thing.> {He won't mind?} [No no... *sniff* he's pretty dead.]
Dustin equipped green tunic of awesomeness! You gain +5 Adventurer points! [Open the map.]
I opened it and it showed a layout of the forest followed with dashed markings and a big 'x'. <Turn the map to a hat.>
Dustin got the Cartographer's hat. It gives you a +20 sight and awesomeness! You don't need glasses anymore! <Good. Good.> said Alpha rubbing his hooves together awkwardly.
I stood on the guitar as it hovered in the air. We looked around and saw the same dashed markings with a big 'x' on the ground.
"Huh. The map was an exact copy." [X marks the spot.]
We flew over and landed on the 'X'. All we found was a pebble. [A rock?!] <Hey... beats being chased by mares.> {That's it! We use the rock to knock out the princesses and whoever else and save our friends!} <Or we keep it for a memento.> [A ROCK!]
You kept the rock in your inventory. +5 to your... pack rat skills.
The floor started to rumble and a large menacing pony came out.
"Who dares take the rock of the awesome?" asked the warrior.
I walked out of the portal to the magic realm with a full belly. [That was great.] <Who knew vikings were so... awesome!>
"Thanks Bartholomew!" I yelled at the viking pony who greeted me earlier.
"Good bye young traveler! You are always welcome here! And we will fight for you!"
"Are you sure you'll take on Nightmare?"
"We need a good challenge!"
"I love you guys!" I ran up and gave the big pony a hug. He accepted it and all 30 other Vikings came out to hug me.
"Men must hug!" said the group.
"If they don't than there queer!" I said finishing the sentence. They went inside the portal and closed it.
{I love vikings.} [Me too. Did we forget anything?]
"Nope." I said out loud while playing with the rock. "So I bite this and they'll come to help?" [<Yep!>] "It'd be easier if I just... rubbed it wouldn't it?" [It wouldn't be awesome.] {In that case. I shall bite this with the might of a manly man!}
I walked down the forest path happily. I got to keep some muffins with me. Banana Nut! Those guys know me so well!
<OH shit we forgot David and Niko!>
"Pfft! FMEOWk! What time is it?" [It's been... 8 hours. We're on day 3.] {Uh oh... let's get them out.}
I closed my eyes and teleported outside the castle. I looked around... and saw pure chaos. That's the only way to describe it. I looked down the street to see Cold Iron sprinting through town. Behind him was Break, an army of griffons, and Nightmare! Oh whoopee! Guess she's goes in heat as well.
<You'd think that he would be flying or something.> {Ooh... you don't want to do that. With all those griffons on your tail?} [I agree. It's best to keep low and stay alert.] <Says the defensive pony.> [Yeah. I did say that didn't I?] <Yeah. Alright let's play it your way.>
I went to the wall of the castle witch all the veins grew up on and climbed it. I made my way up about... 3... 4 stories and was at the window of Niko and Octavia. She was passed out and sleeping. He laid there with a cigarette in his hoof.
"Psst. Niko." I said getting his attention.
"Well there you are! What's that on your head?"
"It's my Cartographer's Cap!"
"It's stupid." {My feelings.} [Hey fuck you Niko! We came to help!]
"Your a day late ass. Besides I'm enjoying this."
"Your enjoying taking advantage of her?" I asked.
"Actually I'm the bitch in this problem."
"I see. Have fun."
"Alright. Good luck with David."
I pulled the window closed and climbed up the edge of the roof and shimmied to the side where I could use my back legs to climb up. I pulled my body up and quietly tip-toed to the Royal bedroom.
"Alright... easy... easy does it..." I said to myself climbing down to the window. I lifted my hooves up and opened it calmly like Fluttershy only to be blasted by the Royal Canterlot Speaking Voice.
"OH YES! THAT'S RIGHT! FUCK ME HARDER!" cried Celestia. I felt my hair blow backwards and I used my right hoof to catch my map hat.
"KEEP IT UP! OH YES! YES YES!" said Luna in pleasure. Me and myself and I watched in horror thinking of what she could do to us.
After about... 12 minutes they both passed out. David wasn't tied down to the chair. He did see me and sneak to the window.
"Dustin can you help me?" He had 'Feel Boss' and 'Boy Toy' written on his chest and face. His hair was a mess and his eyes were bloodshot. "Hey... what's wrong?"
I only blinked a few times. All I could hear was "BBBBBEEEEEEPPPPPP!!!" like Saving Private Ryan all over again.
"Huh?" I asked him. [He said he wants a muffin.] "You want a muffin?" I asked him. He grabbed my arms and pulled me in. I placed my hat on my head and slowly got my hearing back.
"Can you get me out of here? It's been... a little too much for me to handle."
"I'm sure I can David. I did build that back entrance."
"They know about that."
"Oh... Well how about-" I was cut off when a pillow hit me in the face.
"David? Want to come over here? Oh bring your friend."
"Help me." said David turning to me. I did a backwards roll and shot myself into the air vent. "How the hell WHOA!" I reached down and grabbed him.
"Let's go faster!" I said going through the vents like Spider-man. He was... a little slow. "Whats wrong bud? Little soar?"
"Like a motherfucker. My hip is going to kill me and my kidneys are aching."
"Be thankful you have 2 kidneys." <Right... We should go take someone's.> [David is willing to give up one I bet.]
"Well David?"
"No! Mine! Get your own!"
"Aw... that's..." The vent started creaking "cold? Uh..." The vent broke and feel down a floor. We both looked around the hallway we were in. Niko walked out and greeted us.
"Yeah... I'm done. Let's get you two out of here."
We all got up and sneaked around the castle. Well... I did. Niko's too big and David won't stop complaining.
"Hey Dustin." asked Niko. "How come you weren't raped?"
"Oh I booked it for the Everfree forest! I made a bunch of friends with the Awesome Vikings."
"That's nice." said David. "So how you met some Vikings?"
"No. The Awesome Vikings. It was a tribe. They helped me and fed me. I got all the root beer I could handle!" [The king of sodas.] <Well... besides Coke.> {Ah... What I would do for a coke.} [How about a Pepsi?] {NO!!!} <I remember how mom used to say they were the same thing.> {They aren't! One's delicious and the other is shit!}
We went around the corner and the princesses and all the maids were waiting for us.
"You did it you little raggamuffin!" said Luna touching my face with her hooves. "You rescued your friends. Aren't you just reliable?"
"Sure Luna. Isn't that right..." I turned my head to see two clouds that were the shape of Niko and David. I quickly ran over to it and brushed my arms through it and both of the clouds left. "Hehehe... Yeah... reliable..."
14 minutes later
I was running down the street of Canterlot in what seemed like slow motion. It was mostly foggy and dusty. (Hah. That's my name.) <Really? Your going to joke now!> {Comedic relief is the best way out of a situation Alpha!}
Behind me was all the mares from the surrounding towns and villages. All of them. The good news... I saved my friends and most other stallions. Bad news... I'm next.
"Your mine!" screamed Pinkie jumping from the rooftops.
"Oh not again!" I stopped running and watched as she face planted the road in front of me. I stepped over her and continued my run.
"Bass!" cried all the girls.
"I would enjoy this more if they wanted an encore from a music show."
"Encore!" they all yelled.
"Your just saying that!" They all cheered and picked up there speed. No... I was getting slower! "Alpha Wave!"
[See Alpha? Your a great help!] <I guess I am...> {Guys...} [I'm only good a defense.] <Thanks Beta.> {GUYS!} [<What?>]
We were at a cliff edge. I turned around slowly to see all the ponies approaching us. This feels like Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. Where the guy gets chased off the cliff bye topless women. That's a good way to go.
"No where left to run." said Luna. I switched back to normal form. "That's right. Surrender." I jumped off the cliff with my hat in my hooves. I used my magic to turn it into a glider and fly down.
{Not enough time to summon the Clementine.} [I think we don't even need it. Your that good with your fist.] {It's true. But don't forget we have it for a reason.} <Yeah but for how long? You had me for a day and Niko fucked me up.>
I slowly made my way to the bottom and enjoyed the fall.
"I'm free! I'm free-" [Balling!] <Balling!> "Hahahaha!" Time to land gracefully on the sand. "Oof!" or with my face. I got up and brushed all the sand off my face and looked at the sky. The sun was almost set. Meaning only 12 more hours! Oh I'm so close to home plate!
[So what do we do?] {Well I have a solution. We take the tunic of awesomeness and turn it to a blanket. Than we sleep adorably on it.} <That's a... actually... a pretty decent idea.>
"Is he still alive?" I heard above me.
"I'm still detecting life signs." said another pony.
"Guys let's find someplace safe first."
The walk to the nearest town was out of mind. We could just stay here. From what I've heard not many ponies can swim. That's an advantage we shouldn't look over.
{Let's build one of those tropical paradise villages with the monkey butlers and water powered technology.} [And your going to build all those and get monkeys in 12 hours?] {*sniff sniff* No...} <Than get your game together! We can't lose now!> {Yes sir!} I saluted the air. Man I feel stupid.
1 hour later
I was eating one of my muffins. The Doctor never gave me my Banana nut muffin now that I think about it...
Another hour later
I opened the magic scroll and read all of my messages.
'Message 1.
I'm coming after you. ~ Anonymous.'
'Message 2.
You dead yet? You better be. ~ Anonymous.'
'Message 3.
Sorry about not giving you your muffin. I had to use it to stop a black hole. ~ The Doctor.' Aw... that was sweet of him.
"I'm done reading messages!"
2 hours later
"I think I'll grow a beard." I said to myself scratching my 5 o'clock shadow.
1 extremely painful hour later
"I'm not crazy. Who said I was crazy? HEhehehe..."
[I think he's losing it.] <Stay with me man!> He started slapping the shit out of me. <Come on Dustin! Only 7 hours left!>
"Your right! Besides I have Rocky! The magical island rock!"
"Your friends left you." said Rocky.
"That's kinda... mean Rocky." [Oh my god it talks.] <I'd rather have the magic conch.> [All hail the magic conch!]
"Don't listen to him!" said the rock of awesomeness from my pocket.
"Your right Awesomesauce!" That's what I named him. I gave my pocket a light tap and smiled to myself.
"I hate you!"
"Why are you so mean Rocky?!"
"No one ever liked you!"
"Rocky... *sniff* Your hurting me Rocky!"
"Your parents are dead!"
"FMEOWk you Rocky."
One long nap later
I woke up and looked at my surroundings. I took my hat and rolled it into a telescope and looked around my area. I saw a small float coming up the river. On it was David and Niko.
"Hey! Dustin! Hey!" they both waved. We all had ridiculously long Grizzly Adams Beards.
"Hi guys. How's it going?" I asked them.
"Not good. But hey... only 1 hour left." The water carried their boat further down the river. "Well see you later!"
"Alright bye!" I waved to them. "What a nice girl." I said to my consciousnesses. "I hope she has fun at the dance." [Uh... stop now! I'm catching your crazy!] <I"m going to bed.> said Alpha walking inside my head and slamming a door. <Close your right eye!> I did was told. [So what do we do for an hour?]
"Sand angels!" I threw myself on the sand and started laughing. "Yeah! Whoo! I'm an angel!" I got up and looked down at it. "Aw..." We both looked at the sand devil. It had horns and a tail with a little pitchfork. "Not again."
[Your hallucinating. Maybe you should stop drinking salt water.] {Good point!}
I took a quick step for the nearest town and tripped on a vein. I fell down face first and passed out.
Several hours later.
I awoke with the sun's beauty shinning on the ocean. The trees provided excellent shade from where I fell.
<Time to go home.> {Is it? I haven't noticed.} [*yawn* Look on the bright side... we weren't raped!] {YES! I DID IT!} <YAY!>
I teleported outside of Canterlot and noticed how every mare was cleaning up around town. There was a rehab center in the middle of town full of stallions. Guess they had it rough...
"Bass!" called out a lot of ponies behind me. I turned striking a karate pose for precautions. I saw the princesses and every other pony who tried to fMEOWk me. "Sorry about everything." said Luna. "Your the first guy in 2 thousand years to not be victimized. How does it feel?"
"It feels terrible. I'm so tired." I felt a someone put there arms around my neck and pull me in for a hug. "Hello Vinyl."
"Hello Bass. You okay?"
"I'm always okay!"
"You have a map for a hat. A old green shirt that smells like dead flesh, and a long ass beard. You okay?"
"Alright. I'll ditch the beard and tunic." [We're just going to keep it in our inventory?] {The tunic. The beard is really itchy. Let's get Rarity to fix it!} <Great idea! And the hat?>
"I shall never leave this hat for as long as I live!" I yelled dramatically to the sky. "Besides I can turn it to all kinds of shapes and stuff."
"Your such a kid." said Vinyl. "That's why I love you."
"Aw... I love you too." I waited for my kiss but nothing happened. "Where's my kiss?"
"You have this monster of a beard..."
"Fine. I'll go and cut it off. Like right now."
Meanwhile...
"David..." complained Niko.
"Yeah?"
"I think we are on some deserted island that has never been explored before."
"Niko I..."
"Oh god we're going to die!"
"Niko you sh-"
"Why aren't you worried!"
"NIKO!"
"Yeah?"
"Turn around." He turned his head slowly and looked up. Right above us was the castle. We're home. "Oh... well.... yay!"
Meanwhile
I finished trimming the beard and was in the middle of shaving. While I was doing that I noticed something 'white' in the corner of my eye. I turned the mirror to show a pony in a wedding gown.
"What is going on?" continued the bride on her question rant.
"What?"
"Is that all you can say?"
"No... what are you doing in my bathroom?"
"Where am I? Oh no! Oh no no no!" She ran out of the bathroom and god knows where.
"Odd... back to shaving!" I held my blade up like he-man! "By the power of dignity!"
David's POV
"Oh my god... We made it!" I said walking up the stairs. "I'm home!"
"Sorry I doubted you..." said Niko.
"It's okay Red!" I said patting him on the head. "I'm always doubted."
"I see..." We both watched as a bride in distress came running down the stairs. "Uh..."
"That's new..."
"Help me! I don't know where I am and theirs this one dumb guy who can't answer my questions and now I'm lost and..." She stopped talking so she could breath and cry. "Help me..."
"Uh..." I looked at Niko who was sneaking away. Guess he doesn't want to be involved.
"Hey guys." said Dustin walking out of his room. He removed his beard successfully and wasn't wearing that green shirt anymore. "You again?"
"You didn't help me!"
"What?"
"Don't say what again."
"...What." [What what.] <In her butt.>
"I am Princess White Tulip and I demand to know why I am here!" Uh oh... it's white tulip. Dustin's eyebrow is twitching. "Uh... sir? Your brow is twitching."
"I know. Well... look at the time... I can't help you... too busy... with..." He pulled out a random jar of jelly from his pocket. "Jamming!" He held it up and started dancing. "Bye guys." He did the moonwalk back into his room.
"He's different... anyways. Why am I here?" asked Tulip.
"You are magical. Did you teleport wrong or something?"
"What? But Jarvis teleported me! Are they trying to ditch me?!" She asked with tears. Oh no... my only weakness.
"Hey hey... we'll fix this." I looked over and saw not Niko but Celestia.
"Young White Tulip! Why are you here!"
"Auntie! I don't know why..." She must be feeling down. Was she going to get married or was she just wearing a dress.
"You had better hurry. Your going to be late."
"But I-"
"We'll fix it. I'll send you there." Celestia used her magic to send the young princess away. "Now... it's just us..."
"Oh boy..."
Dustin's POV
I finished switching back to my regular ensemble of a shirt, vest, and brown over coat. I wrapped the tunic up and placed it in a package, nicely done I might add, and wrote a note for Rarity to please repair it.
"If Static was here this would be so much simpler." [Now you just have to stamp it.] <Where are the stamps.> "Found them." Somehow they got stuck to my face. "There we go!" I slapped them on and levitated the box with me as I walked to the post office.
I heard Celestia talking to David but I only heard 'Blah blah blah....' I don't know how he finds her attractive. I mean she really is! But... she's like a teacher. And the kind that gives way too many lectures. And also sends ponies to the moon. And also uses 6 little fillies to fight all of her fights for her. Like a Princess!
I walked outside only to meet with Twilight head on.
"Ow..." she said. I was unaffected by her headbutt. "You okay?"
"Oh I'm fine. Just sending a package." I tried to walk out but she stopped me.
"The Princess called me because White Tulip appeared here suddenly and in your room."
"Hmm... how odd is that? Oh well I must be off." I tried to walk past her politely again.
"Your not going anywhere." I closed my eyes and teleported to the mail office.
"Hehehe... magic..." I walked in and place my package on the desk. I asked the one pony to send it to Ponyville and she did so politely. I left and went back to... No wait... Twilight is there... I mustn't go near the castle.
[Let's go look for Vinyl.] <How odd is that? We haven't seen her in... like... days.> {We saw here about 20 minutes ago... just saying.}
So David will figure out the problem and I know I'll get involved one way... or another... [I'm a gotcha ya!] <Gotcha Gotcha Gotcha!> {One way! OR another!}
I continued my random jig as I walked down the market. There I saw Vinyl. {Oh there she is!} <Wonderful! Tell her how a random princess appeared in you bathroom.> {...Uh...} [The only word you can think of? The one word that can change anything! 'Uh.' Good job.] {Don't yell at me! I'm thinking!} <Well think better!>
I walked over to Vinyl and all her friends.
"Hey Vinyl..."
"Hey Bass... Yay! You lost the beard!" she clapped her front hooves together adorably.
"Yes-" She gave me the kiss from earlier. "There we go!"
"Tee hee. Well I was just doing some grocery shopping." I looked on her list. It was this one list of... never ending supplies... like, literally, you could get everything on this one list. Of all list... it's the one I have to pay for... probably...
[Have we not gotten paid yet?] <I'm sure we have... when was the last time we checked the bank?> {I can't remember.}
"Alright Vinyl! I'll be back!" I rushed into the crowd flailing my arms and doing a battle-cry.
"Okay Ms. Scratch." said the pony at the cashier. "Here's your order. Best of luck."
"Thank you." said Vinyl taking the box of pregnancy test.
I, however unaware of this, was waiting in line at the bank. This was like that one chowder episode.
Meanwhile
"So that's why we need to stop him!" said David to Niko.
"So that girl was about to get married to an undercover spy of Nightmare and Celestia sent her back?" We didn't think about that! Dammit!
"Uh oh! Quick! Get Dustin!" said Celestia. "He'll fix it."
At the bank...
"Next." said the banker.
"Yes! Finally! I'm up!" [<Hooray!>]
I was walking to the desk when I felt Niko grab me by my back hooves.
"Come on Bass! We need your help!"
"No! I was so close! Let's go this is important!" The door closed behind us. "NO!!!" [Niko you motherfucker!] <What the hell man?!> "Your a meanie face!" I told him.
"Sorry. Look that kid is about to marry one of Nightmare's dudes."
"Oh that sounds bad. Adventure away!" He threw me over his back. "Or not..."
An extremely embarrassing hour later!
"Alright! You ready!" said David flying the aircraft.
"No!" I was still lacing my boots. Do you know how hard this is without hands? Very! But I has magic! That makes it more fun. "Alright. I'm ready." He opened the back door. It was night outside and the wedding was going on... I still haven't gotten to sleep yet!
"Jump!" said Niko. I did as was told and jumped from the moving aircraft. I held my arms out so I wouldn't go too fast.
"This is the best day ever." said White tulip.
"I agree." said Dark Night in disguise. "Love."
"I now pronounce you-" This was when I fell on top of the sunroof window thing. I was suppose to break it. So I got mad and smashed it with my hooves and I fell down.
"Ow! Okay!" I turn the guitar into pistols and shot in the air. "Okay people. You know the drill. Stop the wedding."
"Why are you doing this?" asked Tulip. I pointed to Night.
"Because your date is an undercover spy." He pulled a grenade from his pocket and chucked it at me.
"Beta Zone!" I changed my form and placed a shield over the grenade stopping the shrapnel from hitting anybody in the room. "Nice try there buddy." I turned the pistols back into the guitar and picked up one of the benches. "You should have a seat!" I yelled bringing the wooden masterpiece upon his head.
"OH my..." said White Tulip with a blush. Aw... who the hell marries a kid anyways?! Is she a kid? She's a little bigger than I remember... "So it's over?"
"Yeah." I bent down to the unconscious traitor. "Not so tough without your keyboard now huh?" I put my hoof to my headset. "Guys... come pick this up..."
"You saved us!" cheered all the ponies.
"Don't thank me random civilians! Thank Celestia! She could use your help in fighting the Nightmare Army."
"We will do what we can." said Princess Sundance walking up to me. "I thank you in saving my daughter's marriage."
"Welcome." I teleported back to Canterlot leaving the body for David to interrogate. I'm sure he wants to do that. "I can now sleep!"
[Well I had fun.] <So we let David have his fun, we sleep, we check the bank, and we relax?> {That's the plan!} [I like it.]
I was working in my office on my new designs for armor built for mobility. I need to stay fast if I come across Bass again.
"Sir sir!" said one of my trainees.
"Yes Thunderfall?" I asked him.
"Lt. Night was captured! They figured out his disguise!"
"Damn! Where is he!"
"In Canterlot!"
"That does it... Nightmare!" I grabbed the intercom speaker.
"Yes?"
"When is the army ready to leave?"
"I'd give it 1 week. Don't do anything rash Cold Iron."
"Sorry ma'am." I opened the door and flew out of the hole at the top of the volcano. Those fuckers are going to pay!
Dustin's POV
"La la la... lets have some milk... hmm hmm hmm milk is good... la da la gonna have some milk way yeah! Milk milk milk..." I sang to myself taking a seat in the watching room. That... Night... I think it was? Whatever! That guy is tied up and David is waiting to interrogate him.
[Let's get the show on the road!] {These seats are unbearable...} <Honestly! We paid for blood!> {I'm just gonna use some magic to fix this.} [Come on David! Let's do this already!]
I laid back in the hammock I just maid out of the chairs and some string. So much better... All I need is some popcorn!
<Do you remember Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends?> {Yeah.} <Use your imagination to summon some popcorn man.> [That's great!]
I closed my eyes and thought for a second until a large back of popcorn appeared.
"Howdy ho! I want to be your friend!" I grabbed him and started eating some of the popcorn in his head. "AAGGHHH! What are you doing!"
"Come on David! Let's get this on the road!"
I watched as Night woke up. As soon as he did David grabbed his head and pulled him closer.
"I can't hear a thing." I told myself. I walked over to the speaker and hit the power button. I walked back and went back to chomping on some popcorn brains.
"Tell me what I want to know!"
"Go to hell David! We know all about you. And Murphy in there."
"Oi!" I yelled at him. "Don't use that name!" I walked into the room and gave him a smack on the back of the head.
"Whatever. There isn't anything you can say to make me talk."
"That's a shame and all... I know this girl who would really like to meet you."
"Who!" I turned and gave him a hard right hook.
"Her!" I held up my left hoof. "This is Mr. Punchy!" I held up my right hoof. "And his wife Francisca!"
"That doesn't make sens-" I gave him another punch. "Okay okay. Jeez... I'd rather talk to David over here. He's nice to his inmates."
"Don't get your hopes up." said David. "Why were you marring White Tulip?"
"So we could get undercover again. Sundance is Celestia's most trusted ally. We wanted to turn that around."
"Well you failed." I told him. "Tell us all of your plans."
"No!" I walked over to the tools.
"Tell me... do you know why this is called a 'Hack!' saw?"
"Oh my night... Okay! I'll tell you! We planned on attacking next week! It was going to be a surprise attack! Please don't hurt me."
"Thank you for your cooperation." I said dropping the saw. "Come on now David. We got planning to do."
"What about me?" Just then the wall blew up and Cold Iron stood there looking high and mighty.
"I'm back! Night are you okay?"
"Yeah! Thanks Iron!" he said while Iron untied him. I went to stop him but he threw me against the glass. Who would have guessed that bulletproof glass hurts your back more than real glass.
"Stay down pest!" he yelled picking up his friend.
"David! Sick 'em boy!" I yelled while trying to pull myself out.
"Iron! Come back!"
"Well be back for you David." He flew off.
"Dustin! Let's get after him!"
"Need to... ERG! Get... out of... glass... Ah! First!" I freed myself. "Alright. Let's get him." I summoned my trusty guitar and turned it to an old fashioned helicopter. Da Vinci syle! We got on it and I used my feet to paddle it.
"Why didn't you use something faster!" asked David.
"Because I wanted one of those old fashioned chase scenes with the-"
"Just drive!"
"Geez... alright man." I paddle towards the pony and followed him outside the volcano. [Yeah! Paddle that bitch!] {Never call me a bitch again.} <I apologize for Beta. It was the 'Heat of the moment.'> {Oh hahahaha... I see what you did... because mare's day?} <Yeah...> {Oh that's pretty good man.}
"He's on our ass!" yelled Night.
"Don't worry!" said Iron turning around to ram us. I made a cannon appear beside my left hoof. "Uh oh..."
"BLAMO!" I yelled nailing him in the chest. I landed the helicopter and David took off after Iron. "David can you fight?"
"Sure I can! Watch!" He jumped up and engulfed himself with a white light. When it dissipated I saw David standing there as a tall white alicorn! Holy S#@!
"Freaking... beautiful..." I said with my front arms out.
"DUSTIN!" he yelled in the Royal Can-... let's just call it... Royal voice... okay? I mean the whole thing is a lot to remember and it really messes up your tongue sometimes. "YOU HANDLE THE REST!"
"Rest?" I turned around to see a small army. "Agh..."
[Ready?] {Sure... why not...} <Your not excited?> {You mean about how weak these guys are?}
I stood their and looked at the miniature army. No joke. They were only about 6 inches tall.
"Well aren't you the cute- OW! FMEOWKER!" One of them poked me in the eye with a paper sword. "It's on!"
David's POV
"Come on Iron. Let's settle this."
"Ah David. You found your true power?"
"I have a long time ago."
"So you know all humans are alicorns. They just don't know it yet."
"That's right. And I intend to keep it that way!" I charged the pony and gave him a hard punch in the gut breaking off some armor.
"Oh that does it." He turned to his Dark Steel form.
"Dark Steel vs Final Vision? That's a fight for the books."
"Oh I see... named it after your power... nice one..." He charged me and I used my horn to counter attack his horn thrust locking him in place.
"Bass! How you doing down there?" I looked down for a second to see what he was doing.
Small Armies' POV
"AGH!" screamed some of us. We watched as the giant began to throw us with his hooves and jump up and down shaking the floor below us.
"You wont beat us!" We yelled. "For we are many! We are the Legion!"
"Who do you serve?" asked the giant.
"We serve no one!"
"Aw... How would you like to come to Canterlot with us?"
"We... actually we would like that very much!" He grabbed all 40 of us in a hug.
"Your just the cutest things!" He said happily. "Oh I'm Bass by the way."
David's POV
"Come on Iron! Your talent is to kill me right? Well try it!"
"Shut up!" He went for another tackle but I teleported behind him.
"Gotcha-" He kicked me in my gut.
"Please. I know you David." He gave me a punch to the face sending me back. Ow... hurts like a bitch.
"Hey! Iron! Want a hurts doughnut?"
"Uh... sure..OOF!" I gave him a double back kick to the face.
"Hurts don't it!" He flipped back and recovered.
"Nice... You actually learned to fight." I saw Dark Night flying on my left but a bunch of those tiny ponies that Dustin was fighting landed on his face taking him to the ground. I looked down to see him with a slingshot.
"Kick his ass David! If you don't I'll kill you!" he yelled. We both brought the fight to the ground where we would be more even. I used my powers to predict his next attacks. I quickly dodged every one of them giving him a few good hits to the face.
"Ugh... *cough* Nice one..." He wiped the blood away and summoned two swords. "But I'm winning this!" Dustin positioned himself in front of the tiny ponies and brought up an axe. Before Iron could attack Nightmare teleported in front of us.
"Stop! Iron return with Night!" She commanded and he obeyed flying away with his friend. "You!" She yelled pointing at Dustin. "You will not stop me this time! And neither will you fortune teller! Soon you will both be dead!" She disappeared.
"Ouch." said Dustin. "Hey check it... we got these little guys who want to help us fight."
"Shut up..."
"Why are you mad?"
"Because I could have stopped Iron right there! For 5 years he's been haunting me!"
"Relax. You'll get another chance. Don't be happy about killing David. It's not as fun as you think." He said summoning a scooter and putting the Legion inside the basket.
"Your right." I switched back to my normal form. "Sorry."
"Don't be. Next time we'll get him." I got on the back of the scooter and Dustin drove away.
"We'd better. If we don't... than something worse could happen."
I drove back to the castle with the little ones enjoying the ride in the basket.
"Thank you Bass for wanting to join our army."
"I think they have it backwards." whispered David. He was pretty tired out from using his powers.
"Your welcome small army!" I continued driving till I stopped. The reason I stopped was because the princesses made me too. And by made me too I mean they used magic. Now I know I'm the master at physics but I want you to understand.
Scooter goes 60 mph. Girls use magic to stop you. So 60 + the force of all their magic = one very far propelled pony.
"AAAHHH!" I screamed until I crashed in a bundle of hay. All the tiny ponies landed on my belly.
"Hooray!" we all cheered. [I love those little guys.] <Me too. Can we keep one?> {We're keeping all 40!}
I looked over to see both princesses hugging David and all of them walking to the castle.
"Okay! Bye! I don't want to be noticed or anything!"
"Your in trouble." said Celestia before closing the door.
"... Uh oh..." I went inside and made my way to the throne room.
"So what did I do?" I asked her.
"You didn't do it to us. You did it to Vinyl. She's worried sick about you and she has some important news."
"Oh... OH NO! VINYL!" I ran back to my room. I opened it and was greeted with her eyeballing me while sitting on the bed.
"Uh hey..." The door slammed behind me. "Sweet cheeks. So uh... how's it going?"
"Do you know how worried I was?"
"No. Look I'm sorry but I-"
"You what! You'd rather go out there and die!" I remained quiet. She doesn't know that this is MY fight. "*sigh* I'm sorry. I'm just a bit cranky."
"Yeah..." I said with a knot in my throat. It was hard to talk right now. "Celestia... she said you had some news?"
"Yeah! Guess what?"
"I guess what."
"I'm pregnant!"
Those two words echoed in my mind... it was the burden of my past all over again... Vinyl's... pregnant.
[Don't pass out this time!] <Oh this is great! We're going to be a dad!>
"I thought you said you locked your door during the mare's day thing."
"I did. I mean you got me pregnant before that! Isn't this great!"
"I'm going to be... a dad?"
"Mmhmm." she said nodding her head up and down.
"YES! I love you so much!" I picked her up and brought her in for a hug. "We're going for a dinner tonight and we'll watch the sunset and we'll watch romantic movies and we'll-"
"We will have fun. Just say that."
"But I have so much in mind!"
"Your taking this better than I thought you would."
"Yeah... tell me about it..."
"Sorry I yelled at you. I don't know what I would do with a kid and no dad. Understand?"
"I do. You see... this is my fight though Vinyl. Nightmare has haunted me and ruined 13 years of my life. I'm never getting those back. So I'll stop her now and save us all!"
"That's... I didn't know..."
"It's okay."
"Alright. If your not mad at me at least."
I gave her a kiss. "I'm not mad. Let's go check on the others!"
"Your shirt is ruined." I looked down and saw the stains and rips in my black shirt and vest. I threw them off and posed for her.
"Screw clothes! I'm a pony dammit!" I walked out the door with some new confidence. [So this time we make sure she doesn't die.] <We need to not mess up this time.> {We need a plan.}
I walked outside to the bank. I need to check my account. I opened the doors and not a line in sight.
"Hello Bass. Looks like you don't have to wait today." said Colgate behind the counter.
"Colgate? Didn't know you worked here."
"Just the other day. This crate fell on my house and destroyed my shop along with it. Why a crate was in the sky I'll never know."
Uh...
Flashback
During Tulip's wedding. I jumped out the plane but I pulled a rope dumping a bunch of cargo out of the plane.
"Yeah... that sucks Colgate." I pulled my wallet out of my cartoon pocket. Don't ask. It's a cartoon. And I handed her my card.
"It says you have... uh... 4,589,982.29 bits. Would you like to donate to charity?"
"Give them 10."
[We're fucking loaded!] <We can have the best kind of fun. Expensive fun.> {I'm going to bye some monkey butlers and work on that island.}
I left the bank with my credit card and about 2,000 bits in a bag that I left in my pocket. Once again this is a cartoon. [Let's bye chicks!] {<We have Vinyl!>} [Yeah but...] {<Vinyl is best pony!>} [... let's bye her attractive outfits.] {...I can agree to that.} <It might be best for all of us.>
I walked back to the castle and went inside my room. It appeared empty.
"Vinyl? Sweetie?" No response. [Oh god look out behind you!]
I turned to be pinned down by Vinyl on the bed.
"Hello Bass."
"Good day ma'am!" I tried to free myself. "You got a tight grip." I just now noticed the little devil outfit she was donning.
"Someone's been a bad girl."
"Yes! Yes she has! This can not go unnoticed!"
1 hour later
We both laid in bed staring at the ceiling.
"I can't wait to be a dad." I told her. "I know I'll be better than my dad."
"That means your going to do the things with our kid that our dad never did to you."
"Well... that means just about anything."
"Did your dad not spend time with you?"
"That's one reason. The other was because I was a bit of a disappointment."
"Want to talk about it?"
1 more hour later
"And then he just left my mom to die..." cried Vinyl. She laid in my arms releasing all of her emotions. Yes... I flipped the conversation around.
"So what did he do next?"
"He left. I haven't seen my dad since."
"I'm sorry about that. Well... remember that your mother will always love you."
"Thanks Bass." she started to snuggle. [*sniff sniff* That was the saddest snuff story I have ever heard.] <I mean our dad was bad but... no one should have that happen to them.> {It's emotionally traumatizing for a child.}
"Vinyl... how did you make a living without your parents?"
"I still went to school. I lived at the orphanage down the road from it with Octavia."
"She's an orphan as well?"
"Her mom died at childbirth and her dad couldn't take care of her. So as a baby he dropped her off."
"So you two were the best of friends then."
"More like sisters. We watched each other and grew up. We got jobs, saved up, had fun, met others, then you came and made it all better."
"That's good to know."
"It is... So what are you going to do?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean... since the big battle is coming up... aren't you scared?"
"I've been scared many times in my life. But... I've never been so sure of victory before."
"I hope your telling the truth."
"I think we'll win. Yes I'm scared if that's what you want to know. I could die at any moment."
"That's reassuring."
"Is it? I'd hope that would be a downside."
"I'm kidding!" Well... she isn't crying anymore.
"Let's not talk about it much. We'll see who wins in a few days." I reached over and turned the light off. "Oh I have 4,589,982.29 bits in the bank."
"That's... great!"
"Don't take advantage of it." I handed her my card.
"What are you doing?"
"In case I don't make it... you should be able to take care of our child with this much."
"Don't think like that."
"It's just a precaution."
"Good night my brave night." She snuggled on my chest.
"Good night Vinyl."
David's POV
"So you've always been an alicorn?" asked Luna. I told them everything.
"Basically. Niko and Dustin are... so is anyone else that was a human."
"So aren't we all human?" asked Celestia.
"No. Only certain humans get to come to this world."
"Like that Static Wielder Dustin dreams about?" asked Luna. "I didn't mean to but I ended up looking in his head."
"What was it like?" asked Celestia. "I've only read his mind."
"He's... he's a strong pony. He's held 13 years of pure pain and torture in his heart and he hasn't shown one sign of it. I wonder how much it hurts."
"It's really bad." I told them. "I know the guy. I followed him through time. When he prevented his friends death he prevented his own. When he prevented his own he made another Dustin. On Earth there should be a kid version of himself having fun. But for our Dustin... he basically prevented his own birth."
"Meaning..." started Celestia. "No home... no friends... no family... absolutely nothing. And he's holding this all inside him? What if Nightmare attacks tomorrow?"
"If she does than he'll fight her." I told her putting my head down on the pillow. "I'd rather not think about it."
"Alright love." said Luna cutting off the lights. "Sleep well."
"Thanks."
"Goodnight my hero." said Celestia. I need to think about this. I can finally stop this. I can stop Cold Iron and I can stop Nightmare. I just need Dustin's help. He's the only one I think that can get close enough to keep them busy so I can go in for the kill. I just need to hope.
I arose from my throne and stood above the balcony to all my subjects.
"My children! My warriors! My trusted walkers of the night! We have to attack now! If we want this land we must take it by force! The enemy knows our location. They haven't made this war easy on us yet. Most of you are thinking since we've had trouble with only 3 colts how much damage and army could cause. Well I can't answer that. But you must go forth and fight!"
"YEEAAHHH!" They all cheered. Excellent. Today shall be a good day to cause chaos.
Dustin's POV
I watched from behind the army of ponies and vikings and worms in the columns. I didn't want to make an appearance. I just watched as Celestia made her way to her balcony.
"My brave fighters! My comrades! My friends. Today shall mark the next day of our history. Why should we change our world from peace to that of darkness and crime? Today we shall fight for that peace. You have all had 2 months to prepare. May it not have been in vein. I pray for all of you. I pray that you make it home safe. I pray that we can all live in peace!"
"YEEAAAHHH!" The crowd cheered.
{I don't think I should fight.} <But we're the best!> {I think there depending on us to show.} [Than let them try!] {That's the spirit. But we're not technically soldiers. We're disobeying civilian protocol if we go out there.} <Do we want to risk some jail time for the hope of all Equestria?> {...Let's kick those bastards right in the fMEOWking nuts!}
I turned and went to the armory. Most of the weapons and armor were gone but I can't just go out there with nothing on. I'll be slaughtered.
[You have me.] {And if I can't switch to you in time?} [... Get some armor.]
I equipped some leather and steel bracers so I could block some attacks. I received a package earlier from Rarity which I kept in my pocket. I opened it to show my green tunic repaired and looking in great condition. I put it on and looked a lot like Link. Isn't that great! [All you need is a skirt and tights. Oh and that hat.] <Aye. You can't forget the hat.>
I grabbed a bandana and tied it around my neck. <Why?> "I'm tired of breathing in smoke and fire and shit."
I equipped a small leather vest and slapped some war paint on my face.
"Looking good their champ." said a voice behind me. I turned to see Niko and David. Niko was wearing black and red steel plate armor and David was wearing this regal golden armor that was so big he had to change to his alicorn form.
"You guys ready?"
"As ready as it will ever be."
I walked to the door saying 'Engineering deck.'
"What are you doing?" asked David.
"I'm going to set the shield up. We can go through it. They can't. Should last about... 18 hours until it recharges witch takes a good 48 hours."
"Alright. Meet us up there." said Niko. They both left and closed the door behind me. On the main camera I saw the shield rise up and close. All civilians have been removed from the area and relocated to a safe hiding position. Nightmare's army was charging. They had the fight inside them. Oh yes. They are out for blood. Speaking of blood the thing that has me the most is the setting outside.
"Hmm... Blood red skies." I told myself. Of course it had to be on this day that an eclipse happens. I opened the door to the surface and climbed out so I could get involved. I saw the griffons of Nightmare hit and bounce off the shield. Those spider strings really do amplify it.
"Dustin Shafer!" echoed a voice through the air. Outside the shield was Nightmare herself.
"Nightmare Moon." I told her meeting her there.
"So you've prepared for our invasion. Odd... I don't see your troops." I turned to see all my troops were gone.
"Just me." I told her. I walked out the shield and drew my trusty guitar. {Who's ready for a show?} <Me! Me!> [Let's kick some ass!]
Nightmare opened her claws and stared at me. While we were in conflict my army came through the bubble. We had vikings... tiny ponies doing actually a considerable amount of damage... and those worms came through tearing their way through her army.
"Time to die!" She went for a quick neck slash but I moved back and gave her an uppercut.
"Sorry NM. Your going to need to be better." She looked pissed but nothing we can't handle. "Now I would let you run but since your-OOF!" I was knocked down by Cold Iron.
"No one hurts my queen!" he yelled. He summoned an axe and tried to cut my head off. But thanks to my handy ability to squirm around a lot I gave him my finest nut-kick yet! Oh the sound... It's one of those sounds that stick with you forever. [Gross.] <Aw sick.>
"Damn..." he backed up to regain his breath. I saw David flying around and making his way towards us. He saw how week Iron was and gave him a lightning bolt spell. "AAARRRGGGHHH!"
"What did I tell you? Don't wear steel plate man!" I yelled at him. Nightmare fell to her knees.
"Please spare me!" she cried.
"You start a war and at the beginning you expect to just walk away?" She crawled ever so close to Iron.
"I know it was wrong and I'm sorry!" She moved her claws beside Iron and grabbed his axe.
"No you don't Nightmare!" yelled David jumping on her. They wrestled on the ground while I turned my guitar into a rifle.
"Out of the way David!" I commanded him. It was too late and she used him as a human shield.
"Fall fall!" she yelled bringing the axe upwards and cutting me across the chest. {OW FMEOWK!} [Shit change forms!] <The best defense is a strong offense sometimes.>
"Alpha Wave!" I yelled changing my form. I jumped over them and pulled her off of David slamming her head in the ground. <This is like that Dancing Blade fight.> [Blade was a pussy!]
I threw her to where I was standing and helped David up.
"Mmm..." I looked over and saw her licking my blood man! Gross! "O-. That's pretty rare. Too bad I have to kill you."
"Sorry!" said David.
"It's okay! Watch out."
"For wh-" He was cut off as Iron grabbed him and flew away.
"Just you and me Bass." said Nightmare.
"Let's do it." She dropped her claws and I turned my rifle to a pistol and knife combo again. I decided to check on the battle. I looked over and saw Celestia's troops doing considerably better than the griffons. The training worked. I saw the Vikings having fun and decimating most of the dragons. The ponies on Nightmare's side however were putting up a great fight.
"Time to die!" She yelled jumping in the air.
David's POV
"I'm going to end this now!" yelled Iron.
"Let's..." I grabbed his horn and kicked him in the throat making him gag on his words. I made my way to putting him below me (We are still in the air.) and positioning myself on his back. "You have messes with me and my friends for the last time!"
"Don't do it!" I grabbed his wings.
"You forced me to!" I held them tight and with all my strength felt the wings being disconnected and shredded from his back.
"AAAAGGGGHHH! You fucker!" He began his fall to the earth. I merely let go of him and continued flying.
"That should take care of him for a while." I made my way back to Dustin and Nightmare. She was putting up a fight but he's more... battle ready than her. Then I saw her going for a cheap shot.
"Dustin no!"
"What?" he asked as she rammed her claw in his gut. "Ah... you... bitch..." He dropped his weapons forming the guitar.
"Time to take this as an opportunity." She merged herself with Dustin. He had purple where his red hair should be. His fur was Moonlight blue, and he had those blue demon eyes. "AHAHAHAHA!"
"That's messed up." I told her. She came running to me picking up Dustin's guitar. Oh no... don't kill me! "Ow." She swung and made a hit with my head but no weapon came out.
"How do I use this?" she asked.
"It only responds to me bitch!" yelled a voice from inside her. "David! Kill her. Kill her right now."
"I can't!" I told him.
"Than this will be an easy fight." She summoned her claws around his hooves and tried to kill me. "Hold still."
"Never!" I used my horn as a sword stabbing her in the chest and giving her some good kicks.
"Grrr...." Yep... she's pissed. "How dare you!" her hair did that same moon sparkle thing it did with Luna's hair. "I am the strongest here. I am the invincible. I am the Nightmare!"
"You a dumb bitch who's about to die!" yelled Niko tackling her from behind. He held her by the hooves and she dropped the guitar.
"Quick David!" yelled Dustin. "Take that guitar and my body and find a speaker. If you cause a distortion effect we can separate!"
Dustin's POV
I could see the entire thing. It was like Static all over. I was just a thought bubble in the back of his head forced to see everything through some one else eyes. It felt like I was in a ocean. It was hard to swim and keep your head up but I was trying. [Do better!] "I can't!" I yelled. <Let's hurt her from the inside.>
I watched as Nightmare threw Niko over her and tackled David giving him a beat down. He was putting up a fight but if I don't hurry... I just need to get out!
"David!" I yelled for him. "I don't care what you do! Just don't let her kill you! Celestia will kill me if that happens!"
"Fine." he said. "Sorry." I felt him using his magic on my body and what sounded like a power source shutting down.
{Oh god... what did he do?} [He shut down some major organs!] <That idiot!>
He flipped around and gave her a hard kick to my nuts. We all felt it. Nightmare, Alpha, Beta, and I... just... ow...
"What is this pain?" asked Nightmare.
{Hey guys. Can't we go inside her head?} [Let's do that!] <My balls...>
David's POV
This is the worst possible situation. How am I suppose to win without hurting my best friend?
"David!" yelled Dustin. "For the love of god just fight! Don't hold back I'll be fine."
"Shut up you." said Nightmare. I moved in close and grabbed her left arm twisting myself around and breaking it. "AH! David!"
"That's my name." Niko came back in to action and threw her around keeping me busy. I looked over at the war real quick and saw we were winning big time. Those Dune worms were... overkill... in my opinion. And the shield has held up quite nice. I grabbed the guitar again and felt it respond to my questions. "Uh... strange... magic guitar... can you help me get your body back?"
"Yes David!" said a voice like Dustin's. "Now hurry up and cause a distortion field!"
"But I can't use-" The guitar formed the 4 bass strings. "Okay... I'll try. Hey Niko?"
"On it." Said the red pony lowering a giant speaker. Where did he... never mind!
"Here we go!" I strummed on all 4 strings sending a sound echo through out the battle. Every soldier on the battle stopped moving and covered their ears. The speaker blew up. "That was the worst idea ever Dusty!" I yelled at the pony. Nightmare was shaking like crazy and a large white surrounded them and blew up sending two ponies in opposite directions.
"Ah!" yelled the Nightmare. She got up and was still in the form of a pony. "Why can't I change my form?" she asked.
"Hehehe..." laughed the other pony. We ran up to the battered pony that was Dustin. "Nice job David... Erg... I think you might have killed me though."
"What?" I asked him. Oh god! I'm in my alicorn form! My magic must have been to strong for him.
"Dustin!" yelled Nightmare. "You fMEOWker!"
"Hahahaha!" he busted out laughing. "You got my fMEOWking curse!" He got up slowly and painfully. "I need to touch her. She still has Alpha and Beta."
"Tough chance." We all watched as she grew wings. "Your powers are mine boy!" She flew up and lit up the blood red sky with a purple shade. "Darkness shall rule!"
"Blah blah blah Come down here and fight!" demanded the injured pony. He was grasping his heart heavily.
"You can't fight! But this shall be fun none the less." She flew down and tried to roundhouse kick him but he ducked and tackled her down. "Get off!"
"Sorry." He connected his horn with hers drawing out his two consciousnesses. "There we go."
Dustin's POV {You guys alright?} [That fucking sucked!] <What the hell man... Like honestly what the hell?>
"No matter." said Nightmare. Two nightmare copies of Alpha and Beta walked out on her shoulders. "Omega Wave!"
"Beta Zone!" I tried to block her attacks but I'm too weak. She went for a low blow but Niko blocked it for me and threw her down.
"Well handle her Dustin." I need to take a break. I've strained my body too much... if I keep it up I might damage something bad. Then behind me hobbled Cold Iron. He stared at us with all the hate he could muster.
"David!" he growled. Two large steel wings sprouted from the stubs on his back.
"What did you do?" I asked him.
"Tell you later!" He took off flying with Iron following him.
"Just you and me." said Nightmare. I turned to see Niko's feet sticking out of the rock wall.
I don't know if I'll be able to get much done in the next few or so weeks. I have a bunch of exams and test coming up and I really need to prepare myself. So if your reading this and are like "Dude... where's the next page?" Just give me time please. That's all I'm asking. Thank you.
Nightmare began walking towards me with her little... Omega was it? I switched to Alpha quickly and prepared myself for the fight.
"Bring it little man." said the bitch.
"Oh that does it!" I began to run at her.
"Zeta Zone!" She summoned a giant shield with spikes on it. I stopped running and jumped back.
[Damn! Can't get close... oh... the pain's killing me...} [Just hang in their. Let's contact the girls. We need them!]
I placed my hoof on my communicator.
"Ladies... is the cannon ready?" I asked them.
"We need about 2 more minutes." said Twilight.
"Oh... okay." I cut it off. "Well... *sniff* we're fucked." Nightmare went to attack me with her shield so I turned back to my normal form ducking below the shield and rolling behind her.
"Not bad for a dead men!"
"Guys we need to do that Harmony thing we talked about." [Are you sure?] <What if your body can't handle it? The damage we've taken is bad. Real bad.> {We'll worry about that later.} [<Alright!>] {Let's do this!}
"AAAGGGHHH!" I started to scream. "THIS IS INCREDIBLY PAINFUL AND *cough* TASTE LIKE... COCONUT!" I felt both the souls fuse with mine.
"How can this be?" asked Nightmare. "You can't increase both your attributes at the same time!"
"Sure I can. Watch me!" I felt our soul fuse and my hair gain length. I turned to see my hair that was flowing was pure green fire. So was my tail emitting that same emerald green flame with smoke and sparks coming of it. "AH! I'm on fire!" I started to hop around to stop the pain. Don't you know if you walk it off it goes away?
"Uh..." Nightmare was confused.
"Why! Ow! OW! OW OW OW!" I started to pat my head. [Sorry! I didn't cut the defense on yet.] {ASSHOLE!} [Wait a minute dammit!]
The pain stopped and I felt stronger than ever.
"Alright. Dual Harmony. That's this forms' name." I looked up and saw David still fighting and Niko climbing out of the wall. It was just me and Nightmare. "Ready?" I asked her.
"You shall regret the day you decided to face me!" Her hair turned to that moon dust thing again and she summoned armor.
"Ooh... that's a good idea." I turned the guitar into battle armor. It was gold with green, blue, and red gems in it. "Yeah! Let's fight!" {I'm still in pain but I am ready to go!} <Good. Finish it.>
"RRAAAAAGGGHHH!" We both screamed charging at each other.
David's POV
How the hell did he do that?
"Impressive. Ready to end it David?" asked Iron.
"You mean your death? Be my guest."
"Face me!" screamed the pony charging at me. I dodged his attack with ease and grabbed him by the neck.
"You want me to end this right? Do you!" I held his neck like I was able to break it. "I will kill you Iron! For fucking with my friends you have brought out the anger in me and I will destroy you!"
"You wont." said the pony. "You never could... You never could kill another... That's how you got Ben killed."
"Your brother? I didn't kill him or get him killed! You can't blame that on anyone but yourself!"
"Shut up..."
"Shut up? Really? You always say that when you know your losing."
"Shut up!" He was really steamed up. I saw an arrow coming at me from behind so I turned and used Iron to block it.
"Drop him!" yelled Hard Break.
"Take him!" I threw the pony at her knocking them both in the ground. I looked over to see Nightmare flying with wings and Dustin standing on his guitar. She was wounded really bad and Dustin was still holding his heart in pain. But... he might just win this.
"You can't beat me with mere physical power!" yelled Nightmare. Then a large rainbow came flying from the tower.
"Shit!" we all yelled. And by we: Dustin, Niko, and I. We all took cover behind the rocks. Nightmare flew up like an idiot and the rainbow followed her.
"No! Not again!" she screamed in pain. The rainbow wrapped around her and turned her to stone. We all watched as the statue fell from the sky and landed in the ground.
"Yay!" we all cheered. The war was over. And the best part was we only lost about 7 soldiers. How many did they lose? Well... I'd say about 10 shitloads.
"MUWAHAHAHA!" Iron was cackling up. In his hand was the orb. "I'll kill you all with me-" He was cut off when a giant hoof stomped on him from behind. We all looked up to see Legion. The brown pony turned back into the 40 small ponies and started hoping up and down from his unconscious body. The bomb was still going!
"I got it!" yelled Dustin picking it up.
Dustin's POV
I hopped on my guitar and started flying for space. While in Harmony mode I was moving at mach 2 speeds.
"Come on ... come on..." I looked down at the time to see 30 seconds. "Why is it always 30!" I yelled. The bomb switched to 24. "No no! 30's fine!" It started ticking at 23 and so on. "Shit shit shit..."
[Way to go. Way to go Dustin.] {Stop talking!} <Well... if we're going to die it was nice knowing you guys.> {Don't say that. I can still stop it!}
I was going straight up. Behind me was the castle and all the soldiers. I also saw a group of griffons chasing me. One of them grabbed the bomb.
"Stop touching my balls!" I yelled kicking him in the groin. I caught the bomb and continued going up. Another one tried to wrestle me for it. "Get off my damn ball!" I kicked him in the beak breaking something. Oh well don't care!
[9 seconds!] {Time!}
I stepped off the guitar and used it as a baseball bat sending the bomb flying into space.
"And... 5... 4..." [3!] <2...> [{<1!>}]
We all watched at the bomb went off. The explosion was... incredible. Glad I had my trusty 'Deal with it.' shades with me. They defended me against the harmful colors of this magnitude.
"I'm blind!" cried on of the griffons. I turned to see all 3 of them crying and covering their face.
"Relax... it wasn't that bad-" I was cut off when another explosion happened inside it sending me plummeting to my death. "OH SHIT!" [Catch the damn guitar!] "Where is it?!" <There!> He pointed to the white and black lifesaver. I grabbed it and held on for dear life as the guitar opened up showing my Cartographer's Cap.
"Yay!" I folded it into a hang glider and made my way back to Canterlot. "BBBLLEEEAAGGGHHH!" I puked up a lot of blood. My liver just quit working on me. "Oh god..." We were above town and we crashed face first in the gardens. I switched back to my normal form and laid on my back.
[So this is it... We die like this.] {Looks like it... but hey... we saved the world this time... without destroying time.} <That's always a good thing.>
My eyes started growing heavy. {Feels like forever since I just... sat down.} [Look at the sky.]
I turned my head up to see the rainbow explosion in the night sky. All the ponies were cheering. None of them saw me land. There goes my rescue.
<Dustin... thank you... for being the best friend ever!> cried Alpha hugging my neck. [I don't know what to say. We've always been together and now were dieing together.] {It's kinda funny. How as soon as I save the world... I die.}
"*cough cough*" More blood came out. I pulled of my leather vest and allowed my ribs to move more. I wanted to enjoy the air.
"Dustin!" yelled a voice in the distance. I already started to black out. The last thing I saw was Vinyl above me crying. My eyes closed and wouldn't open. I could feel many hooves on me but I couldn't hear or see or talk. I was basically dead.
Than... I heard this... beeping noise... that one beeping noise from an oscilloscope! I hate that noise! I opened my eyes to see I was in a green liquid or something. Beside me was another ball/tank with me inside it.
"MMMH!" I yelled knocking on the glass. No one working could hear me.
{What the hell is going on!} [I don't... why do you sound like a woman? Why do I sound like a woman!] <Where's my junk!>
I started to panic and than I felt the water start moving. The tub emptied and all the water left allowing me to breath.
"*BIG GASP!* What's going on?!" I looked at all the scientist. "Where's Vinyl! David! Anybody!" The tank started to move up and the glass disappeared. Then some stairs opened up and an older scientist walked up.
"Hello my dear. My you did recover miraculously."
"What did you do to me!"
"Nothing. What do you remember?"
"Let's see... I took the bomb to space. Got knocked down to earth. David shut down my major organs... I saw Vinyl... and passed out."
"That was last week."
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!"
"Relax!" yelled a voice in the distance. I turned to see all my friends running towards me.
"Guys! I-" They put me in a group hug. David and Niko were riddled with bandages and so many questions are in my head. "CAN'T... *cough*"
"Sorry!" they all backed off. I tried to get up but couldn't stand on my legs. I had long black hair with the same red stripes. I felt... smaller.
"Why am I a mare and why is my real body in that tank!" I asked them.
"You see..." Celestia walked up. "We went through other dormant dimensions and brought your 'other' body here and transfered your brain and other selves to this."
"My other body?"
"A dimension full of mindless bodies." said the Doctor walking in. "Figured that you'd like that better than that body. Your old body is official brain dead. I give it... about 20 seconds till it dies."
"Why am I a mare though?!" I am never going to get use to this voice.
"Well... that's the only other you we could find in such a sort notice."
"Is this permanent?" I asked him.
"Yes."
"But but but I-I... you... we... me... I..." I felt my body collapse. I really need to stop blacking out. All I could hear was the others talking.
"Yep. Old body just died." said the Doctor.
"What do we do with her?" asked Pinkie.
"Put her in bed. She'll need some proper rest." I could feel some hooves on my body. [This is nuts. Dustin what do you think?] <Dustin?> [Whoo hoo. Hey Dustin.] <I think she really passed out.>
I awoke in my room like always thinking this was a bad dream.
{Guys? Oh... I still have a woman's voice.} [Yeah. How do you think we feel?] {Uh... happy to be alive.} <Dustin. Listen to me and listen carefully. I am pissed!>
Meanwhile...
"So it's over?" asked David.
"Almost. Your friend is still having some... issues." said Celestia. "Vinyl how are you doing?"
"Oh... um..." she had a wild blush on her face.
"Vinyl... are you a fillyfooler?" asked Octavia.
"Uh... no! I just... don't know..."
"It's okay. Dustin's a chick! This is a dream for you!" said Niko. "I don't mind a bit."
Meanwhile...
[We've survived everything.] <We've survived time, death, sex-crazed mares, Nightmare, and so much more and this is our greatest enemy yet?>
"I don't know how to use the bathroom!" I yelled to myself waiting inside the room. "I can't stand up and and and... let it go!" [Sit down! Just sit down and piss!] {If it's that easy...}
I sat on the toilet and looked at myself in the mirror. This is a fate far worse than I could have ever imagined. I've lost everything now. I lost my own gender. Honestly... there isn't a bit of human left in me.
"Why do I look so cute!" I cried to myself. [Because your a cartoon mare with the power of adorableness?] {This had better not backfire.} <What does Vinyl think?> {...oh no... She's pregnant and I'm a woman!}
"Bass." said someone knocking at the door.
"Yes?" I asked.
"Hey. It's Vinyl." [Oh come on!]
"Hi... *ahem* Vinyl."
"You okay?"
"...No." I finished doing my business and washed up. I feel... comfortable. Is that good? That's not a good thing. I mean I can move my legs more and I'm more flexible. I walked out and met with Vinyl.
"What's wrong?"
"Vinyl... the only thing I had left from my humanity was my own gender! I'm not a man anymore!"
"It's okay."
"No it's not... your pregnant and I can't be a dad because... I'm a chick!"
"It's okay sweetie. I still love you." She bent up and planted a kiss on my lips. "Just relax and take it slow. Be thankful that your alive."
"... Thanks Vinyl." I couldn't hold back the tears. I pulled her in for a hug and rested my head on her shoulder. [Shh shh it's alright.] <We'll fix this. We always do.>
I remained quiet. I couldn't say anything because as soon as I open my mouth I'm going to end up bawling.
"Bass... what are you going to do now?" asked Vinyl. I remained quiet. "Hey... you can speak." She pulled me off her shoulder and looked me in the face. "What's wrong?"
"You know what's wrong." I told her. I had to hide my face in my hooves. "Look at me!"
"Your very pretty."
"H-how can you be so calm about this?*sniff*"
"Because you always come through. We can still work with our relationship and your friends are more than willing to help.
Meanwhile...
"AHAHAHAH!" Niko was laughing. "And she passed out!"
"Yes Niko. I was there."
"That's so funny!" He along with Pinkie, Rainbow, and Twilight were giggling.
"It's not funny." said David. "To fight for your own survival for 13 years. That's exactly what Dustin did. He saved the world again without rewriting time and this time he's being hurt again. He's lost all his friends and family. Know he's a she! I can't understand how much pain she's going through right now." They all stopped laughing and listened closely. "I think she needs our help."
Meanwhile... again...
I finished crying and using up about 2 boxes of tissues.
"Man... I haven't cried like that since Titanic."
"What's Titanic?" asked Vinyl.
"It's this story about love on an unsinkable ship. But the unsinkable ship hits an iceberg and it crashes and lot's of people died."
"That's horrible!"
"It is. It's a true story as well."
"I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe I should stop asking questions." I felt her get behind me on the bed. "I think your hair would look prettier with a ponytail."
"Don't tell me that!" [Your blushing.] {SHUT UP!} <Time of the mon- OW> I gave him a hard punch. <You hit like a girl.> {Alpha I will destroy you!} [Relax. We're all women and we're all suffering right now.] {You don't seem like your suffering.} [I'm actually enjoying it. I can clop now!] {Ew ew ew ew ew}
"There. All done."
"Thanks Vinyl."
"You still sad?"
"A little. But... I'll get over it."
"That's what I like to hear."
"So I was out for a week? What was my condition?"
"Bass. Dustin. Your body was near impossible to fix. We didn't have the proper technology to save you so... you know the rest."
"I see. What was it like for you?"
"It was the worst thing ever. It was worse than losing my mom. I was so worried..." She reached over and handed me my card. "Here. I'm not going to need it anymore." I slipped it in my pocket.
"Now I have to wear dresses and stuff. That's great."
"It's actually very comfortable."
"I've worn a kilt before." [Good times.] <You just enjoyed it when we flashed the cop.> {Yes. Yes I did.}
"Okay then. It's getting late."
"I've slept enough over the week. I need to go outside. How many people know about what happened to me?"
"Everyone." said Vinyl.
"EVERYONE!"
"Yes..."
"I didn't mean to raise my voice but come on!"
"It's okay. If they poke some fun at you than ignore them. Don't fight."
"I can't fight. I'm too soar." I walked outside the room and made my way slowly down the hall. [So now we can sing our favorite songs with women singers.] {Remind me to sing 'Holding out for a Hero.' before we change back.} <Got it boss.> {Alpha I'm not going to destroy you. Come on. I'm in a brighter mood.} <No your not.> {No I'm not. Damn your right.}
I went outside and the only thing that I could look forward too was the moon. Maybe I could banish myself for so long I forget about being a mare and just come back. But that's just silly. I went to the park and sat down at the bench facing the pond.
"How peaceful..." I told myself. I looked around and didn't see anyone. So it's just me. "I can't stand it! Damn David and that Iron friend of his."
"It wasn't David's fault." said Luna from behind. "It was yours. You told him to use magic and he did the best he could."
"Yeah..." I said lowering my head.
"Cheer up."
"No..."
"Dustin. Is it that bad?"
"Yes..."
"Can you say more than just yes or no?"
"Yes I can..."
"Don't troll me like Celestia." Luna took a seat beside me. "It really is peaceful out here."
"Why are you here Luna?"
"I could feel your heart. Your sadness is impacting everyone. How is this being so bad?"
"I can't really explain. It just is. It's a forced sex change and I'm the only one reacting to it."
"That's not true..."
"Vinyl doesn't mind and I could hear my friend laughing from down the hall."
"You heard that?"
"Yeah... *sigh*" I started playing with my ponytail. "God has a plan for everyone. So this can't be all bad."
"That's the spirit!" said Luna happily. Of course she has problems as well. She's dating the guy who's dating her sister. So she's dating her sister.
"Let me tell you something Luna. Stephen Kind once said..." I had to stop for a minute to lick my lips. They were dry! Give me a break! "Salvation and Damnation are the exact same thing. I never really understood that... but I think I do now. The worst things that happened to me have been the best."
"You sound very wise. You remind me of my mom. She would always give us life lessons and lectures... and then one day she just... left..."
"It hurts. I know what it's like."
"What are you thinking of?"
"Fighting. The war."
"It's over. And you think of fighting. That's not very mare like."
"I don't understand."
"You said God has a plan for you. You've sacrificed too much Dustin. You've lost so much and have kept all that pain inside. If your God loves you than he doesn't want to watch you suffer."
"I-I... your right... Oh my god your right! Thank you Luna!" I pulled her in for a big hug. "That's all I needed to hear."
"Uh... welcome." She said. I got up and ran back towards the castle.
"I'm back in the game!" I yelled. [Your happy about being a woman now?] "Yeah! I can read drama without hesitation! I can get away with many things do to my amazingly cute cuteness! AND most importantly I can watch My Little Pony without being yelled at! Whoo!" <Your doing cartwheels>
I was so happy I didn't realize I was doing wheels. So what better way to make it better than doing back flips! [Don't fall on your pretty head!] At the end of the road I landed a perfect and graceful flip without hurting myself.
"Your happy." said The Doctor with Derpy at his side.
"You look very cute muffin." said Derpy patting me on my head.
"Thanks Derpy. How are you guys?"
"We're fine." she said.
"We thought you were feeling blue so I got you a muffin." He held out a muffin for me. I couldn't help but let my eyes grow big and put my hooves to my face. "Don't act so cute."
"Okay." I picked it up and began to munch on it. "This is... the best... muffin... ever... without a doubt."
"Good. That's the same muffin I shot into a black hole." I stopped eating and looked at him. "I don't know how old it is. Maybe it hasn't aged a day. Either way it got here and your enjoying it." The bad aftertaste began to settle in. I handed him what was left and went back to my walk to the castle.
10 minutes later
Vinyl was reading while in bed when I came in.
"Yay your here! You don't look so good." I ran into the bathroom to puke up that muffin. [Doctor Whooves has single handily ruined muffins for us.] "BBBLLLAAAGGGHHH!" <Jeez... At least we can forget about the taste... you alright there?> "*cough* Blegh!" <Nope.> "I'm fine now..."
Now I feel light headed. Oh well... so I'm a mare now. This isn't that bad. I think...
"Come on." Said Vinyl patting the spot beside her. "Come sit down."
"I'm... not ready for that yet." I told her. Still getting use to this body and the last thing I want to do is have sex. [You know what I've realized? You haven't said fuck in a while.] {What's the point. I'll have that cute kitten noise kick in.} <Just try it. Fuck.> {*sigh* FMEOWk.} [It's like 20% cuter.]
"No!" said Vinyl. "I'm not going to force sex on you. Especially on the first day you woke up on."
"Yeah..." I got in the bed and felt... happy. I haven't felt this happy since the time I found a wallet with about $4,000 in it.
"You seem happier."
"I learned something good about myself."
"Good. So now your going to stop being so sad and emotionally troubled?"
"Yes!"
"Yay!" She grabbed me by the neck and pulled me in for a hug. "I still love you. If that's what you want to know."
"I love you." I gave her a kiss and laid my head on her chest. "Thanks Vinyl. For being there for me."
"Your always welcome Bass." She cut the light off and put her book on the table. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight..." I closed my eyes and went inside my head. [So... having fun?] {Yeah.} <So... what do we dream about?> {Adventure!}
Alright. I know what your thinking. Why make him a mare? Well... it was the only thing that popped in my head. It really... adds... to the story. You'll see... or read. Whatever! The point is enjoy what you get.
I was having a great dream. I mean I didn't have to worry about... war or anything like that. I was free. Finally after all these years... I was free.
[Wake up.] {But I was getting to the epic part.} <It's 8.> {Fine.}
I woke up to see I was laying on Vinyl who was fast asleep. She breathed in quietly and didn't seem to mind me on top this time. (Hehehehe) Now I know why she does it... it's super comfortable. Than the alarm went off and we both got up.
"*yawn* Morning!" she told me.
"Good morning!" I told her back.
"You seem happy."
"I'm free Vinyl! Of all violence and hatred. I can just be a person now."
"I guess war does that to you. Everyone deserves a change to clean there pallet."
"And that's what I'm going to do!" *GRUMBLE* "Well... after breakfast..." Don't giggle. Don't giggle. Come on... don't do it. "*super cute giggle*" Noooo!!! There's no hope for me! I should just slit my throat now and save everyone the trouble.
"That was adorable."
"Thanks."
"And your sure that your fine?"
"Yes. I am fine." She kissed me. "Let's get some breakfast seriously." I tried to summon my guitar and yet nothing happened. "Vinyl where's my guitar?"
"Well... hehehe..."
"Vinyl."
"It's destroyed."
"WHAT!"
"We found it that way when we found you."
"Where are the parts?"
"Here." she handed me a black duffel bag. I laid out all the pieces on the bed. Well... what little pieces there were.
"Alright... I'm not gonna freak out." [AAAGGGHHHH!!!] <This isn't happening.> "Guys calm down. I'll use a fix it spell." I closed my eyes and levitated the parts. "Alright... it's going to take a long time."
"I thought you would freak out." said Vinyl.
"I am right now. AAAHHHH!!!" I ran out of the door. "This is insane!" [We can fix it right?] {I don't know! Why can't we fix our body?!} <Too many noises!>
I tried to open the castle doors but the guards stopped me.
"Sorry little lady." Grrr... "There's a mob out there and we don't want them in." I opened the window and jumped out using my magic to levitate me to the ground.
"No time!" I ran to the outskirts of town. "I have an idea. Remember how Nightmare couldn't leave our body?" [Yeah.] "Maybe we can use that body to replace our old one." <That's sounds silly. You silly.> "Oh come on! That might work!" [Or we might get corrupted again.] <Also a shitty idea!>
I ran to the battlefield. There were blast marks and blood stains still scattered on the ground. Not a pretty sight... when there. In the middle of it all was that statue of the mare in my body.
"Well here goes nothing." [You can't be serious!] {When we were inside her... I saw her thoughts... I saw how much pain she was in... all she needs is a good friend who doesn't you know... like killing all the time.} <Don't you do it.>
I punched the statue breaking off the stone covering the face.
"*gasp* Thank god!" said what sounded like a different female. "Okay... Can you help me Dusty?"
"Sure!"
"What's with the mare's body?"
"Why are you in a colt's body?"
"Good point." I started breaking all the pieces. [Why should we trust you Nightmare!]
"Because Beta I'm not her. I'm a piece of you who was... corrupted by her."
"Well what's your name?"
"Don't have one." <Isn't Nightmare your name?> "No."
I finished breaking the statue. She was still purple but instead of those deep demon blue eyes she had these lively red ones.
"Thank you!" She jumped up and hugged me combining with my body. I blacked out again.
{God dammit! What did you do!} ~I'm sorry!~ [She's in our head?!] <She's a part of us?!> ~I said I was sorry...~ <Don't! Don't even bother!> ~*sob* Sorry...~ {Guys...} [Whoa whoa... please don't cry.]
Beta flew up on top of my head where she was at.
[Sorry for losing my temper. Right Alpha?] <I... yeah... sorry.> {Yay!} [<Don't ruin this moment!>] {I just wanted to be part of the conversation.}
I finally woke up to see I was laying on the ground. I looked at my body and I was a male again!
"Yes! I'm a colt again! YES YES YES!" [Aw... Hey yeah... We do sound like guys again.] ~Do I?~ <No... still a lady.> ~Yay!~ At least she's happy. {Well no-name... your the first girl so I'll let you pick your name. I thought of two. Eve or Eden.} ~hmm... Eden.~ [Yay! We have another conscious!] <Oh joy.>
I got up and looked at my new body. I still had silver hair but the red in my hair changed from red to green.
"Hey guys? I'm... green." <Cool! I bet Vinyl is gonna freak!> ~I didn't think about her.~ [Hey Eden. What was it like being Nightmare?] ~It was horrible. I wasn't even the real one. She's on the moon.~ {So that's why we couldn't fight each other. We kept on evening our attacks out.} ~Yes. She's still on the moon.~
While I was talking to myself I didn't see the guard from behind. I turned around to see a Royal Guard soldier.
"Citizen! You are under arrest for freeing the enemy!"
"But I-" I was hit on the bottom of my jaw with the top of his helmet.
"Stay silent."
A few hours later
I woke up to see I was wearing a orange jumpsuit and had shackles on.
"Prisoner. Tell us your name."
"Uh... Do you guys do coffee? Black. Two sugars."
"Tell us your name."
"*sigh* Bass."
"Bass Strings? You were a mare just yesterday."
"Yeah well... things change." someone came in and handed me a cup of coffee. "Thanks."
"So tell us why did you break that statue?"
"So I could get my body back. When we were fighting and David split us in two... well... he killed my old body and this one was just frozen."
"What did you do with your mare body?"
"Eden. Show yourself." We watched as the mare popped out of my hair. ~Hi!~ she said happily to the man behind the counter.
"I see. So your not Nightmare?" ~No sir.~ "Release him."
Some sounds rang and the door opened with two police cops walking in.
"Thanks guys for understanding me." They unshackled me from the chair and tied a ball and chain to my hoof. "Hey what gives?"
"Bass. You disobeyed some rules of the civilian conduct going to war. That's two months of jail for you."
"What?!" [What!] <What!> ~WHAT!~
"And since you destroyed that statue... that's an extra 3 months."
"Jail? Again!"
"Again?"
"Nothing." The guards carried me. NO. I mean they literally picked me up and walked me to my cell. The prison was full of inmates. Most were griffons. Nightmare's griffons. I saw ponies and dragons as well. Each had their abilities being blocked. Like covers on their horns. The dragons had muzzles. The guards threw me in my cell and closed it.
"Since your a hero. We won't take away your magic." said the guard. They both walked away and left me alone. I turned around and didn't see anybody. I have a cell... alone.
"Don't I get a phone call!" I yelled at him.
"Later!"
~This is all my fault!~ {Shh... don't think that way. We'll get out.} [We can teleport.] {True... but that would make the sentence worse.} <So what's the plan?> {We wait.}
I sat in my cell. There wasn't any lights on. I continued to play with the new green in my hair. That's so cool... and being a girl wasn't so bad. I mean I got all that sadness and pain out of me.
"Hey hero!" said a pony beside me. "I bet your gonna break tonight!" I didn't say a word. This isn't my first sentence. I merely laid back on the cot and waited. It was like the moon all over. Just waiting in the darkness and time just flies by.
"We got some new boys tonight!" said the pony below me. I was 2 stories high out of 8. Cell number 42. Each story filled with about 80 prisoner cells except the bottom floor. It was like the main hallway.. I watched as they filled up the 6th floor. New kids. They looked like they were just teens.
"Hey!" said on of the kids. "In block 42! It's Bass! Hey Bass I thought you were a chick." I remained quiet. "Aw what's wrong?" he broke rank from the rest of the prisoners. "Too famous now to talk? Your just a bitch! What did you do for the war?" I looked at the police captain and he nodded his head up and down meaning 'Do it.' I grabbed the boy and slammed his face in the bars.
"You listen to me you little shit! If it wasn't for me you would all be dead! I set up the shields! I recruited the soldiers! And I FUCKING FOUGHT!" [Where's the cat noise?] ~fMEOWk.~ <Aw... That's really cute.> "And here I am paying jail time because I broke civilian protocol. I had the balls to fight. Where were you? That's right. In the shelter hiding." He went for a punch and I grabbed it and locked the bone in place. "You feel that? Know what happens when I pull it back?"
"No..."
"This!" I snapped his hoof in 6 pieces. The bones sticking out proved so.
"AGGGHHH!!" he fell down and started rolling in pain. "Guards help me!" The guards walked over and started kicking him.
"Hahahaha!" I couldn't help but laugh. That's pure irony. "Also I was a chick. You have a problem with girls? Your gay aren't you!" I earned a few laughs from above.
"Fuck you!"
"Watch that tongue boy." The guards carried him away and the captain walked towards me.
"Nice. A unicorn who can handle himself without magic."
"Appreciate it captain."
"Well... listen. We'll shorten your service to 3 months. Okay?"
"That would be great captain. I might learn something." I sat back down. "Have a good one."
"See ya. The rest of you! Time for bed!" All the lights started slamming off. The moon shinned on my cell.
{Let's talk with out thoughts.} [What?] <Is it the fact that your a man again or is it that were in prison?> {The second one.} ~Sorry.~ {Eden. Please stop blaming yourself.}
Meanwhile... David's POINT OF VIEW! YEAH! I SPELLED IT OUT THIS TIME!
"What? Three months!" I asked the police pony.
"Yes. And if you weren't royalty you would join him. Also your friend is on his way."
"What friend?" I looked over to see two officers dragging Niko away. "Let him go!"
"We can't. Good day Mr. Sight." the pony left. Octavia and Vinyl both stood there with tears flowing from there eyes.
"Girls... I...*sigh* bring it in." I offered them a hug. They both accepted it and cried their hearts out. "Well... you heard the guard Vinyl. Dustin's a guy again."
"That's great but..."
"I know."
"He's gonna be mad when he gets back." said Vinyl. "His guitar didn't turn back to a guitar when he fixed it."
"What did it turn into?" I asked. She held out a small sword with a gold handle and a green orb on the bottom of it. It was a stainless steal sword with enough magic on there that not even Celestia could destroy it. "That's an amazing sword."
"But... his guitar."
"We'll buy him another one."
"Okay..." She continued to cry. "Octavia? Whats wrong?"
"I'm still a little shocked." said the other mare.
"Let's all get some sleep." I told them. "Besides how bad can prison be?"
The next day...
Niko and I were in the crowd watching two large griffons go at it.
"Fight Fight Fight!" we all cheered betting money.
"Place your bets!" said the announcer. "Helga vs. Gilda!" Everyone began betting on Helga. I know Gilda. Just for the heck of it...
"Gilda!" I said throwing my money in the box with her name on it. I was the only one betting on her. Everyone looked at me. "Just watch." We watched as Gilda pinned down Helga and used her beak to tear out her throat. "YEAH! I win! Yeah baby!"
"Uh... Bass wins..." the announcer started counting. "8,000 bits." The crowd went silent.
"Now... give everyone there money back." I told them. They all started to cheer again. "Alright. We have a generous charlatan here. I hope you know what your doing trickster." he said to me.
"When's the next fight?" I asked him.
"Now." He went back to his mic after returning his money. "Night vs. Break!" I stopped cheering. So did Niko. We both looked at each other and watched the two friends meet each other on the field.
"This can't be good." said Niko.
Who says this isn't fun? What? What do you mean everyone?
Yeah I know that I've changed the background picture a lot but... hey... this time it sticks. Like... I am feeling this picture. Green hair. Green clothes. I'm going all Zelda on you guys.
~Hey Dustin.~ {Yeah?} ~Why did say free cake in the last chapter name?~ {I... uh... well all I could think about was cake.}
"Hey... check it." said Niko pointing to the two armored ponies. They had become relatively close and now there going to fight for our amusement? Awesome!
"Come on! Let's see some blood!" I yelled cheering on the crowd. We watched as Night and Break slowly made their way to each other.
"Face me Break." said Night. "One of us is going to die."
"Don't make me do this..."
"Just hurry it up." They both drew pipes.
"Ready?" said the announcer. They both stood there stances and began fighting. Instantly Break knocked the pipe from his hoof and kicked his small body down. He's not built for fighting like her. Poor kid doesn't stand a chance. Then out of nowhere he got this strength. He threw her shield away and pushed her back getting the upper hand. That's one of my moves... [Was Night one of our trainees?] {No.} ~You trained some soldiers?~ <Yeah. Why do you think they were so unbeatable?> ~I thought because they were built like ox.~ {Are you calling me small?} ~Yes.~ {Aw...}
Break and Night kept up there little wrestle until he gave her a clean right hoof to the nose. Now the blood was starting. She got pissed and threw him against the wall going all out on his stomach. When she was done he was left in a coughing fit.
"Who said this isn't fun?" Niko whispered in my ear. "What? What do you mean everyone?"
"Do it." said Night. Break threw away her armor and picked him up. She obviously didn't want to kill her friend. I don't blame her either. They really must have bonded.
"Never." She gave him a kiss and escorted him away. I'm sorry... but did she just kiss him? I thought she and Iron... oh... Oh! She's a whore!
"Aw... is that it?" I asked the announcer.
"Don't worry. They'll be back in... 3.. 2.. 1..." Than both of them came flying back in. "Sorry... but one of you has to die." [This is what we pay for!] ~America!~ <You know what? Your alright Eden.> ~Thank you sweetie.~ [Hey Alpha. Is that a blush or is your hair standing down.] {I just thought of something.} <S-Shut up!> {I wonder how David is holding up.} [...] ~...~ <...Oh god we have to get out.>
Celestia's POV
I was with Luna peeping around the door. David's been acting... different.
"Yeah... that's right guys." said David to himself. His hair was messy and his eyes were twitching. He had two little fake dolls resembling his friends.
"But David your not strong enough." he made the fake Niko say.
"Yeah he is! Your the best David!" he said trying to mimic Dustin's accent.
"I love you guys!" he gave them both a hug and we closed the door.
"I've seen enough." I told Luna.
"We need to get his friends back."
"True younger sister. First let's go to court."
That night...
I was laying in the bottom cot and the officer was walking around cutting off lights. I didn't know that Night's neck could turn that way. It was brilliant!
"All right people. Sleep." They left us in our dark comforts to rest. Yes. The dark is actually quite comfortable. ~I can't sleep. Dustin can you read a book to us?~ She flew in front of me and she was giving me the cute stare. Did I tell you guys that Eden isn't a unicorn? She has these little cute bat wings that make you just want to mass produce them and make an entire marketing business based off of it.
"Oh... jeez... Can't resist..." I reached under the bed. "Good thing I took all of these from the prison library." Alpha and Beta both flew down. The 3 chibi ponies all got under my arms like kids and I opened the book about the knight.
"*ahem* A long time ago there was a knight by the name of Sir Lancelot. This is the story of how he created Canterlot. Hey that's not true... that was Arthur and all the other knights wasn't it?" [I don't know.] <That's earth history.> ~Keep reading!~
"Okay. Anyways..."
20 minutes later
"What? No! Get out of there!" <Your taking this book to seriously.> [Don't give up Lancelot!] <Not you too.> ~It's okay for men to like a story Alpha. You don't always have to be strong. Just look at Dustin.~
"And then she... NO! That's horrible!" I had to wipe a tear away. "So after her death Lancelot used the last of his magic to imprison the monster in a town. He chose this mountain and built a town over it. The town's happiness and love keep the monster asleep. So it shall be that way for the rest of time."
~That didn't help me sleep.~ [Another!] <You are such a kid.> {Ooh! Let's do this one! The Slenderpony.} ~Yay! I like horror!~ <Assholes.> The morning after...
I didn't move after I read that book. Neither did Beta. We both just talked with our thoughts. [Well... if that story was true... than that's what Lancelot hid under Canterlot?] {It must be... that would be the stupidest thing ever if we let him out.} [Agreed. Let's never speak of this to anyone.] <Why did you read it if you knew this would impact you deeply?> {Don't say deep. They said no one would ever check it out so I wanted to be first!} ~*yawn* Good morning!~
"Hey... inmate 42." said one of the cops. "You have a guest." I got up and followed him to the phone booth.
"BASS!" said David on the other side of the glass.
"Jesus crackers! You scared the shit out of me..."
"You look... well... male again."
"You don't like green?"
"It's cool but I'm used to red. Who's this?" I said pointing to the mare on my head.
"Eden. She's my new conscious. Long story. Don't ask."
"Move..." said Vinyl trying to see me. "Bass! Your normal again!"
"You know it. How's it going?"
"Lonely."
"Sorry. I got thrown in for nothing."
"Right. Celestia got a paper and the guards said they will release you and Niko in 5 days."
"Alright Sweet!"
"Bass... do you like being in trouble? Is that all you do!"
"Uh..."
"You know what? Don't even answer that. Sorry. Shouldn't have even bothered coming..." she walked out angrily
"What just happened?" I asked David.
"Sorry. Can't tell you." He got up and left.
"What do you mean you can't tell me!" I yelled at him. He didn't hear me and left. "Dammit..." The guards allowed me to walk back to my cell. "Come on you stupid ball and chain! Move!" I tried to lift it up on this step. I never have troubles except this one little step you have to take between the cells and the phones.. I pulled it up and began the three minute slow walk back to my cell.
{Steve walks warily down the street. With his brim pulled down low. Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet. Machine guns ready to go.}
[Are you ready. Are you ready for this Are you hanging on the edge of your seat Out of the doorway the bullets rip To the sound of the beat.]
<Dun. Dun. Dun. Another one bites the dust. Dun. Dun. Dun. Another one bites the dust.>
~And another one gone And another one gone Another bites the dust.~
[{Hey, I'm gonna get you, too Another one bites the dust!}]
<Man we rock...> {I love you guys... and girl.}
I finally made it back to my cell but Niko was not inside it.
{I wonder why Vinyl is so PO'd.} <Did we do something wrong?> [I bet it involved the mare body.] ~I know! Vinyl wanted to have sex with you as a mare.~ {Uh... how do you know exactly?} ~...intuition.~ {Really? I mean she was pissed about something. Why would she be mad about not having sex?} [We'll ask in 5 days.]
"Hey." said Niko walking in.
"Hey Big Red. You get a call too?"
"Yea! Octavia's worried."
"That just means she cares."
"You really think so?"
A few minutes ago...
"What do you mean you can't tell me!" I yelled at David as he left. I sighed and looked to my right. I saw Octavia putting her flank against the glass to Niko.
~Dustin don't look.~ {But... I can't help it...} [I wonder what the plot is here?] <Arr... the plot hole... it is strong here.> ~Just go!~ Eden took control of my legs and made me start walking.
Current time...
"Time for lunch yet?" I asked.
"Yeah. Let's go before the line gets big." We got there pretty early. The cafeteria was emptier than usual. Not that many griffons...
'Can I have your attention please?' said the intercom. 'All Nightmare prisoners have been transferred. Repeat... all...' I stopped listening. I know what their doing. They're going to execute them. All of those people... and no one's going to care. That's the worst way to go. When you have no one to die with...
"Next!" said the lunch lady. I moved up and allowed her to put her food on my tray. Let's see... we got... grass, and hay, and potatoes, Oh! And a cookie! Just my day.
~Cookie!~ [Try some grass.] <Do the hay.> [Like I said. Grass.] <Hay isn't grass.> [But... just shut up.]
I put the potatoes in my mouth. Did I ever tell you that I was born and raised on a potato farm? I was. Yep. Born right in the middle of the field. My mom couldn't move so they had to do the c-section right there.
"Hey Bass." said Niko getting my attention. "What happens when they transfer the prisoners?"
"They get executed."
"They can't do that!"
"They can as long as I'm locked away. I can't stop them."
"We can try!"
"It's too late. The bus has left. All of those people will die so let's not bloody our hands anymore shall we?"
"I-I.. we... *sigh* okay."
"Sorry..." We both stopped eating and looked at each other. "I'm so sorry. I would do anything to stop it."
"Bass I know..."
"And they think they can just get away with this... I don't care who these prisoners are but no one... not even the Devil... deserves to die in a way such as execution. To die in front of an audience as people cheer... no one deserves that."
"Let's stop talking about it."
"Let's."
Then the awkward silence continued. The hay tasted like shit and the grass tasted like dirt. The cookie was stale and the potatoes weren't washed or properly cooked. Trust me... I make THE best mashed potatoes ever. Niko didn't mind. He ate. I of course ate mine because from what I've learned being a mercenary... don't waste things.
It's been... 3 days now. It's not that bad. The food sucks and Niko's losing it worse than David. These kids these days can't handle anything. It's always sex or money. I had to work as a kid... how is this fair? We were sleeping on our cots when an officer walked up to our cell.
"Hey... Big Red. Your being released."
"Finally!" he left me without even looking back.
"...bye." I told him quietly. The officer closed the cell and left me alone in the cell.
~What a friend. He didn't seem to mind us at all.~ [He's a great friend! *sniff* He just wants to calm down Vinyl before we get out.] <Beta... it's not your fault.> [*sobs*] ~Aw...~ Eden flew down to hug the sad colt. ~Shh shh... it's okay.~ {You know what I miss? Tomb Raider.} <Dustin shut up!>
I let my conscious have their talk. I blacked out their noise. Just like I did in school. I only thought of Vinyl for the past few days... and how she's holding up. She's pregnant and she's pissed. I'm gonna have to do something drastic... and hopefully it doesn't involve a ring this time. What it's been... 3 months since I traveled to this time and she's holding my kid. I don't know what to do...
"Come on #42." said the officer opening my door. I walked out with him escorting me. This is a first. "We got a job for you." Sometimes when a prisoner is lucky the overseer might give him a job besides laundry duty or cleaning.
"Ah... Mr. Strings."
"Ah... Warden." I said to the pony in his office.
"Please call me Mr. Hold."
"What do you want Hold?"
"I figured you might like a job at our library."
"Sure. Beats me waiting impatiently every day." The guard took off my ball and chain and took me to the library. The place was in great condition with plenty of books for me to read. I took a seat behind the desk and slipped on my reading glasses.
"Will you be fine by yourself?" asked the officer.
"Yes sir."
"Good boy." He closed the door leaving me to my books. They were unorganized so I decided to catalog them. <This is great Dustin! We get a library!> ~I feel like Twilight.~ [Dustin?] {So now you guys want to talk to me?} <Yeah... I was a little harsh.> {A little. This is kinda cool... but lonely.} ~Cheer up! We'll get out in a few days.~
17 hours later
"-And... done!" I cleaned the library fixed the damaged wall and reorganized the books alphabetically. Huh... it's almost morning. Oh well...
"Mr. Strings. My my... what a sight... I haven't seen the library in such a good condition since I was a youngster." said Warden Hold walking in. "Did you forget to sleep?"
"Who needs sleep?" I asked him. "I've spent two weeks awake once."
"Your just an odd pony."
"Tell me about it."
"Well... we've been talking. We're going to release you today on such good notice. And by we I mean the princess and I."
"Oh groovy." I walked out with him. We made it outside of the jail when the guards all waved goodbye to me. This is... odd. I figured they would make me do some paperwork or something.
"Bass!" said Celestia running up to me picking me up for a hug.
"Whoa! Hah hah! Hey there Tia!" She began to spin us in circles.
"Thank the heavens your okay."
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Sorry you got put in prison for only doing your duty."
"What was that?" asked Warden Hold. "Duty?"
"Oh... Bass was officially knighted."
"You mean you were imprisoned for nothing?" asked the Warden.
"Yep! I was just having fun!" I told him. He breathed a sigh of relief. "We were just on our way."
"Bye Warden." said Celestia. She teleported us to the castle. [So you were just having fun?] {Oh yes!} <You asshole! You fucking asshole!> {Oh come on. It wasn't that bad.} <You fucking asshole!> ~I had fun! We also learned about that Slend-~ [{Shut it!}] ~Okay.~
"Dustin!" said David picking me up for a hug. Oh I just love hugs.
"That's right. Bring it in." The door opened and all of our friends ran in.
"Bass!" they yelled.
"Group hug?"
"Group hug!" I was just piled on with ponies. ~I want in!~ Eden began hugging my neck. [Bro-hug!] <...Fine.>
"Alright. That's enough." I said. They all let go and allowed me to breath.
"*sigh* There we go!" I gave my back a pop. "I'm back!"
"I'm still mad at you." said Vinyl.
"And I know why. You were mad because I was just having fun in prison."
"Why didn't you tell me you were knighted?"
"That's like saying why didn't I tell you that I was potato farmer?"
"You were?"
"Uh... no. Now let me get out of this orange." I said leaving the room.
1 hour later
"Oh jeez it's been a while since I've had a good dinner." I said stuffing a salad in my face. "Even if theirs no meat."
"Dustin." said Niko. "What were you doing before we left?"
"I was organizing a library. Not bad. A little rubbish but I fixed it." I said rubbing my hoof on my brown coat. God I love this coat.
"I missed you." said Vinyl.
"You left in a hussy fit."
"Sorry..."
"It's fine." [No it's not.] {Shh...} <So... Eden. How about you, me, later?> ~We'll see.~
"So... Bass. Should we still call you that?" asked Twilight.
"What?"
"Your guitar was destroyed."
"Uh oh... right... just stick with Dustin."
"How about Mur-" started David.
"Don't even go there David!"
"Okay okay."
"Hey..." I looked around the table. "Where's Fluttershy?"
"She's scared to death of you!" yelled Rainbow. "I uh... mean... she's feeling ill."
"I feel bad now." ~Aw... don't be sad.~ "Can't help it. I'm scaring Shy. That's like... the worst brony rule broken." <No one's going to know about this.> "We were the only ones who didn't know about this." [Than we'll help her tomorrow.]
"So Dustin..." started Vinyl. Now that I think about it. She's gotten a bit... bigger. Right... two months pregnant. "What was it like?"
"The food was shit and the entertainment was lacking. Although I did see Hard Break hehehe 'break' Dark Night's neck."
"WHAT?!" they all flipped out except for Niko.
"Yeah. I also saw Gilda the griffon kill another griffon. Sucks to be you RD." I told the cyan pegasus. "Other than that the books were decent and the bed's were comfy."
"That's your opinion. Those cots sucked." said Niko.
"Niko I've slept on rocks and needles before. That cot is nothing." I told him. [Mmm... true story that.] <Aye.> ~Was that 2002 or 2003?~ "It was... 2002." ~Right.~ "Oh well... so Fluttershy didn't come because of me? Well... I'm going to her."
I teleported to Fluttershy's cottage along with all the others except the princesses.
"Fluttershy." I said knocking on her door.
"Oh hello Bass."
"Meh... Just use Dustin."
"Alright. How are you doing?"
"Doing good Shy. I heard that you were scared of me and that's why you didn't come to the castle."
"Oh no. I'm not scared of you. I was busy taking care of my animals." I turned and gave RD a angry stare. She slowly walked behind Applejack and lowered her head.
"Okay then. Bye."
"Wait. I need your help." [Is Fluttershy asking us for help?] ~That's good right?~ {No. That's... never happened before.}
"What do you need?"
"I have a ram problem."
20 minutes later
I stood outside the gate to Shy's garden. Inside was a ram causing trouble. Niko had this idea that we could calm it down with music.
"How do I look?" I asked him. I was wearing one of those marching band outfits.
"Fine. Just get in there. You too David."
"Your sure this will work?" asked David.
"Yeah!" All the ladies sat down and watched. I climbed over first and Niko handed me a tuba. The ram got up and confronted me. It didn't attack but it did stare at me.
"Uh... He's giving me too much attention."
"Play the tuba!" yelled Niko. I started to blow on the instrument and the ram well... rammed it. He left this huge fucking dent! <Oh my god! It's the ram from hell!> {It's the Devil!}
"David!" I yelled. He tried to climb over but he stopped climbing and watched. The ram hit me in the back leg making me drop the tuba. "Ow bitch!" He rammed me in the arm. "Ah!" When I was turning he used this opportunity to ram me in my jewels.
"I'm coming!" said David trying to get over the fence. He started playing random notes on the trumpet and the ram continued attacking me.
"Play!" I yelled at him. ~Maybe we should be nice to the goat.~ [Are you kidding?] <He's looking at us like 'Man, are these guys stupid?'> {Motherfucker!}
"Applejack lasso!" I yelled at her. I held down the ram and she hogtied it. "Oh man... oh god... Niko... I honest to god hate you right now."
"That was fucking hilarious!"
"Where did you get that idea?" asked David.
"Jackass 3!"
"Your an asshole..." I had to crawl. "Oh he got me good..."
"Need some help?"
"Yes please." David bent over and helped me up. He had to walk me to the fence.
"You okay?" asked Vinyl.
"What do you think?"
"Your gonna walk it off?"
"Yeah." I had to limp. "Oh god... ow... ow..."
Iron's POV
I was flying outside of Break's jail cell. She was crying about something so I wanted to get the info out of her.
"Break... tell me what's wrong sweetie."
"They made me kill Night." She continued silently crying. "They put me in that stupid arena and forced me to."
"I'm so sorry."
"We were about to walk away when Dustin asked the announcer to make us fight again."
"He's here?"
"Was. Just got released."
"Well I'm gonna have some fun with that chuckle-fuck."
Dustin's POV
Well let's see... I got beaten up by a ram. Oh I got a phone! That's always good. [Yay! Technology.] <Actually I think Celestia wants to keep an eye on us.> {Ah... that's sounds about right.}
Than this old pony walked in front of me wearing a brown trench coat. She stood up on two legs and flashed me.
{Holy Christ!} [That's just... wrong...]
I turned my head to the left when I saw a male getting a blowjob. Aw... in public?
*Ring Ring* "That's weird... didn't give anyone my number yet." I picked it up and placed it to my ear. "Hello?"
"Hello Dustin."
"Ah Cold Iron. How's it been?"
"Oh you know. Shitty."
"Glad to hear. What do you want?"
"Well since you made my girl kill her friend I'm going to hurt your friend. Just remember me when you see your friend scattered on the pavement."
"Wait wait! What did I-*beep beep beep* Dammit!" [Let's go find out what happened.] {Eden. Your the sneaky one. If we merge do I get your bat wings?} ~We should. Try it.~
I fused our soul wavelengths together and had long purple hair that was on fire.
"Huh. That's pretty cool." I still had my horn and I looked back to see two large bat wings. "Yes!" I started flying and looking around. I didn't know what Iron was talking about then I saw him flying faster than Rainbow dragging someone behind him with a chain.
"Dustin!" yelled Niko from below. "He's got David!"
"What?!" I looked closely to see the poor guy being killed. "Shit!" I took of flying after him. "Iron stop this now!"
"Like this?" he asked slamming David into the wall of a building. "Oops." [Come on!] ~I'm... trying...~ <Don't hurt yourself. Just give Dustin control.> {And quickly too.}
I speed up and caught Iron by the tail. I made him drop David and then I threw him into the ground.
"Cheap move attacking David with his guard down."
"Shut up!"
"Is that all you say?" He started charging at me. "Uh oh."
"Ah... Nightmare. How could you betray us?!"
~I didn't! I was never Nightmare! She's still on the moon you meanie.~ "That's my girl."
"You shall both die!"
"WAIT wait wait... you motherfucker..."
"Don't sing."
"Pooper." He went to charge me with two swords. Time to summon my guitar. "Bring it... on? Why is this a sword?" I asked myself looking at the short sword with the gold handle. Iron brought down one sword and I blocked it cutting his sword in half. "Cool..."
"What the hell is that?"
"This is my soul weapon. I shall dub thee... Excalibur!" [Are you calling us a legendary weapon?] {...Yes?} [...I love you.] <Hey... before we go there let's share some love with David.> {Shit that's right.}
I looked down to see the bloodied unicorn.
"You okay?"
"Yeah..." He put his hoof out like a thumbs up. "Never better."
"Good. I want you to watch this."
"Watch what?" asked Iron. I grabbed him and did a pile driver slamming him into the fire hydrant. "Ah! Fucker!"
"Hahahaha... Oh... run." I grabbed David and started running.
"Why run when you can fly?"
"Shut up David I'm trying!" I started flapping my wings and going higher. "See? What are you worried about?"
"That!" he said pointing at Iron.
"Oh... yeah... that's a problem. Hey Niko catch!" I yelled at the red pony. I dropped David so Niko would fly up and catch him. Even though he did I have never heard someone squeal like David did. It was like he though he was actually going to die. "Hahaha!"
"It's not funny!" he cried.
"Voice crack." [Oh that's rich.] <We need to start carrying a recorder.> ~Guys! Iron at 7 o'clock!~
I quickly turned and was rammed by Iron. He took me all the way to the Everfree forest.
"That does it. I'm going to kill you where you stand for killing Night."
"What? But I did nothing. I only watched as Break killed her lover."
"She loves me!"
"No. Not what I saw."
"Shut up!"
"Seriously say something else." He looked furious. He charged at me while summoning a spear. I stepped to the left and dodged it. "Come on. Hey I never asked but... what's your human name?"
"What's it matter to you?"
"If I do kill you I want to know your real name."
"Anthony."
"Alright Anthony. Please tell me whats the reason you keep fighting?"
"I fight for myself!"
"And what about everyone else? You've spent the past... what 5 years trying to kill David?"
"Yeah and I have my reasons!"
"He didn't kill your brother."
"Forget Ben! David's the reason I'm here!"
"Explain."
"He's the idiot that created this world and got me stuck in it."
"Hehehe... Hey Anthony. I'm the idiot that created this world. And if you want back don't you know that you have to die?"
"What?"
"Yep. Turns out David was just being friendly and you turned your back on him."
"I will kill you!"
"Here we go again."
"Dark Steel!"
{Guys I have an idea. Let's combine Dual Harmony with Dark Solo.} [Dark Solo?] {Eden.} [OH... well it's a long shot.] <Fuck it. Let's give it a try.> ~We can do it.~
The other two fused with my soul forming our new form. I felt the same but had flowing black fire for hair and my bat wings were on fire.
"Sweet..."
"I don't care how much you change! Summon your weapon and face me!" The sword changes with my form now. I can't give it a command but I can sure as fuck change it. The sword was now a large two-handed sword. I mean large like... Darksiders large.
"Try it."
"RAAAGGHH!" He tried his lame charge again. It seemed like he was moving in slow-motion. He was! I mean that or I was super fast. I stepped right and punched him in the throat.
"Get up." I commanded him. He instantly got up and summoned an axe. I blocked with my sword and twisted it around cutting his back open. His armor didn't protect him worth a damn and he's in Dark Steel mode.
"Damn you."
"Get up." He got back up on his feet and put his hooves up for a fist fight. Oh... doesn't he know? I'm best with my fist than anything... or... hooves... No matter! He went for a right thrust but I knocked his hoof down giving me clear shots to his neck. I gave him 3 quick punches and kicked him back. He had to stop and breath for a minute.
"I must kill you!"
"Get up."
"If not you than that pretty little Vinyl you love so much." He said while running at me. I dodge again but this time I stomped him on his back leg breaking it instantly. "Gah!" he fell down. "Oh god... I can see the bone..."
"What was that?" I asked him. I grabbed him by the hair.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Don't kill me!"
"Sorry Anthony. Your begging to the choir here. David's the forgiving one. I'm not the same."
"Oh god..." I kicked him across the face and pushed him onto his back.
"But no one fucks with my woman!" I turned back to my normal form and picked up the short sword. "I know you can make weapons but can you regrow limbs?"
"You wouldn't dare!" he demanded. I twisted and turned the sword in my hoof.
"Don't you know who I am?"
"Your Dustin."
"I'm the Shadow. From the future world!"
"You mean your the one who..."
"The one who's stopped Nightmare before and her assassins. Your in deep trouble boy." I stopped twisting the sword and held it still. "So... I guess it's been fun fighting you for the past... meh... few months. But David is dying and I'm tired so..." I rammed the sword into his heart.
"Gahck... gah... uh..."
"...Goodbye." I pulled it out and quickly brought it past his throat slitting it. {What to do what to do.} <We hid the body!> {Ah brilliant! Where?}
All 4 of us stopped and looked at the hydra feeding pit. There were tons of hungry babies in their. Perfect!
"Alright... Jeez..." I started dragging the body towards it. "Oh Anthony what have you been eating?"
"Dustin what did you do!" yelled David. I turned to see the bandaged pony.
"Oh hey... yeah I was just wrapping up some things."
"You killed him? He's really dead? Like legit?"
"I hope so... Erg... in either case I'm dumping him in their..." I motioned for the pit with my eyes. "Wanna give me a hoof?"
"Sure." We both picked him up and threw him into the pit. The hydra's dug into him like the alligators from the bridge scene of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. "I should have stopped him earlier."
"Aw... don't say that. Now he's gone and you have two potential wives who are sisters! That's like... double the family benefits."
"Don't tease me."
"Well honestly I just need one. And If I do two I usually don't have them related. I'm not calling you bad I'm just saying everyone has their own style."
"What do I tell them?"
"That you heroically saved the day and killed Anthony. There. Done."
"Okay are you still mad about the hero thing? And you know his name?"
"Yeah. I asked him before killing him."
"Right..."
"I know you didn't kill Ben."
"I know. But this is my burden."
"And even though it's gone it never leaves. I know."
"Right right. Hehehe..."
"It is pretty funny isn't it?" We both laid back and looked at the stars. "Hey Luna did a good job with the stars tonight."
"Yeah she did."
"And your fucking that. Come on David. Admit your having a good life."
"I am. And I owe it to you."
"That's the spirit!" I got up. "Come on Hindsight the Hero! Let's get you home." I turned to the Dark Solo form and picked him up. "What do you say?"
"Onward!" I took off flying. All the world seemed to breath a sigh of relief. I just did God a favor killing that maniac.
"DUSTIN!" yelled a angry voice behind me.
"Motherfucker..." I turned to see Iron. He was glowing red and was literally on fire. "MOTHERFUCKER! Hold on David!" I flipped him off my back and into my arms going straight up.
"What are you doing? We'll freeze to death!" yelled David.
"No... Well... maybe... but I'm going to cool him off." [Why not just piss out the fire?] "Well I can't drop David and piss now can I?" <You can.> David looked at Alpha with a look of pure fright. <Just saying.> "Sorry David." I dropped him.
"You asshole!" He screamed falling to the earth. That didn't stop Anthony one bit.
"Still back there hot shot?"
"I will murder you!" I stopped flying and watched as he zoomed passed me. He kept on going until the fire stopped and he went blue.
"Just a heads up. The atmosphere is cold. You should bring a jacket." I flew up and caught him. When I did I threw him back up. He came down a pure ice pony. "Ah finally dead." I knocked on his eye and the now frozen ball shattered like glass. "Eh..." ~Um... Damsel in distress?~ {What? Oh yeah...}
I flew down and caught David with my back.
"You are a jerk."
"Sorry. Lookie look. Anthony's dead." I placed Iron's head between my hooves and smashed it. "See? Now you can't repair your brain."
We both watched as the ice pony fell down to the ground. Upon impact he shattered.
"Yay! We did it! OH oh We did it!" we started dancing.
"Whoa!" David almost fell but I caught him.
"Hey! Watch it! I will go back up and kill us."
"Just take me home."
"Aye aye captain." I began flying. I looked back to see the streak of purple fire behind me. Huh. I'm the Human Torch!
A good... hour later...
"What in the world happened to you?!" cried Celestia touching David. "Your all bandaged and injured! Why!"
"Iron attacked. Again."
"Where is he?" demanded Luna. "I shall give him a lesson for kidnapping me."
"You see..." I wanted to say the truth but something wouldn't let me do it. "David killed him."
"What?" they all asked in surprise.
"Yeah. Threw him into a volcano and this gas burst sent him high into the atmosphere freezing him and when he came down BOOM he shattered."
"Wow. Your amazing!" they both said comforting the unicorn. I left the royal bedroom and went to the bathroom.
<Well done. Well done indeed.> {What?} <Your a true hero. You give the credit to someone else.> ~They will write minstrels about you.~ [There once was a great man named Dustin, who was a sight to see.] <He stopped the great Cold Iron, while we told him to pee.> {BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!} <Yeah... was it that good?> {HAHAHAHAHAHA!} [Okay it's not that funny...] {...hahahaha....} ~Are you choking? Breath damn it.~
I left the bathroom happily.
"Hey look on the bright side... Fluttershy isn't scared of us." [Hey look on the bright side... we killed David's arch enemy!] <Hey look on the bright side... I still don't care about him.> ~Hey look on the dark side... Vinyl's spending the night in Ponyville.~ {...} [...] <...That's not good at all.> {Not at all man!} [We're too tired to go back...]
"Oh bed... how I missed you!" I threw myself upon the comfy mattress. Before I could sleep I decided to change my clothes. I looked at myself quickly seeing that my brown coat was blood stained and ripped to shreds. Aw... I like that coat. Oh well! Garbage! *sound of me stuffing it in the trash bin.* I took of my fancy vest and green tunic. The tunic is starting to smell...
~Get it cleaned!~ {Never!} [Honestly... why would we clean it if we're wearing it?] <That's gross. I'm sticking with Eden.>
I put on my pj's and got back in bed.
"*yawn* Goodnight- OW EDEN!" She grabbed me by the ear and made me go to the bathroom. ~Brush your teeth~ {Okay okay!} [Pussywhi- *smack* Owowow... OW!] <I got nothing to say.> ~Remember how you wanted some alone time with me?~ <Uh huh.> ~You got it.~ {Aw their fucking in my brain!} [No pun intended right?] {This isn't the time for jokes!} [Really? THIS isn't the time?] {No! What's wrong with that?} [Oh so many things...]
Fuck my life I'm busy. I have a bunch of test coming up. I'm in the final few weeks of school now but FUCK! Just... FUCK! Sorry I know I sound like an ass right now but it fucking sucks! Oh well... Back to the story!
I woke up from my dream. It was this odd dream about walruses. Why? I don't know... [I didn't know they could eat like that.] <I didn't know they eat that much.> {I didn't know they could put up a fight.} ~I can't believe it's not butter!~ {Eden... I love you so much right now.}
I made a quick stop in the restroom while reading. Not my fault! I just read on the commode! I got up and pulled up my pajama pants. I decided to check on David. He did get dragged around the town yesterday by an ass clown with a chain.
"Hey Guys I wanted to-" I stopped when I was confronted by Celestia and Luna in her Nightmare Moon form. They both had rape faces. "uh..."
"Sorry!" said Celestia snapping out of it. "David's a little busy right now."
"I I... I-I n-need to... go..." I started backing out.
"Dustin?" asked David from behind the walls. He came out looking brand new! No injuries, new haircut, nice clothes... he's happy. "You look like shit! What did you two do to him?"
"He caught us at a bad time. OH what a silly filly." said Celestia playfully. They all turned and went back further in the room. I just turned and left.
{That... was without a doubt... the scariest moment of our lives.} [I thought she was... not... like that.] <Aw... we forgot to mention Molestia!> ~And Luna?~ <...What about Luna?> [Good point.] {They're gonna rape me. I just know it...} <Dusty...> {I can feel it...} [Aw you had to go there!] ~What's wrong with feel- oh... OH! That's disgusting...~ "Well I'm over it!" I picked up my happy mood from this morning.
???'s POV
"Queen Chrysalis." said one of my changelings.
"Yes servant?"
"It appears that one of our spies has infiltrated the castle."
"Excellent!"
"But... he's inside that one's room..." he said pointing to the crystal showing the pony with three consciousnesses.
Dustin's POV
{And that's how we can write a college paper on how He-man's straight and Prince Adam's gay.} [That makes... so much sense.] <Well done indeed Dustin!>
I walked into my room to be confronted with myself. It was an exact replica of me. Every movement and every expression.
"Blegh!" we both said. "Hmm... Aha... Who do I like? Erg! Answer the question don't repeat me!" he kept on copying me. We both nodded our heads until I did something he didn't expect. I spitted in his eye.
"AGH! *hiss*" he turned into a changeling.
"Oh shit..." The changeling threw some gas on me "Ah... dammit..." I felt myself fall on the floor. Dammit motherfucker! [Get up!] {I'm trying!} <We got to tell Celestia!>
"No you don't!" said a woman's voice. Than the changeling formed a portal allowing a larger changeling to come in. She had little fairy wings and holes through her body and she had this... crown... thing...y...
"Who the hell are you?"
"I'll tell you. Since you'll be gone in a few minutes. I am Queen Chrysalis and you are going to be the victim of my new spell traveler of time. Enjoy dimension hopping."
"What?" I felt a large portal open behind me. "WHAT! NO! YOU BITCH!" I yelled at her falling through the hole. I felt my self spin and the only thing I saw was flowing black and white lines. Excuse my Samurai Jack nostalgia but is she Aku? ~She's the queen of the changelings!~ {The what?} ~You know... those small things...~ {Oh... right... change forms. I could have called that.} [But you didn't.] <Hey we're nearing the end of the portal.>
I felt myself land on some soft grass.
"Oh thank god I'm not falling from the sky." I hugged the grass's comfort. "Thank you mother Nature." I looked up to see the sky was bright orange. "Huh. Doesn't seem that different. I looked at the town down the hill. "And there's Ponyville."
<Look up!>
I looked up to see a bright blue pegasus fighting Nightmare?! How the fuck is she alive?! [Different dimensions I suppose.] "Come on random blue pegasus with black and red hair! Kick her ass!"
Than the town of Ponyville blew up. Like... literally blew up...
"...Or not..." I hid behind a tree to dodge all the debris flying. "Well... sucks to be that guy..." ~How many people just died?~ {Too many...} [Come on! We can help them!]
I began to run after the town but another portal opened...
"OH shit..." I fell through the portal and drifted down into space again. <She did say dimension hopping.> {She's going to keep this up till we make it home?} [Looks like it.] ~We're nearing the end of this one too.~
I landed on the grass again. "Oh thank you karma system." I looked up to see a school. "I didn't know we had a school."
[We don't. Another dimension.] {Don't be a killjoy.}
I looked over to see a group of ponies helping an icy blue pegasus who was missing a wing.
"Fuck he got beaten up bad." ~You can't really grow back wings.~ {Iron did.} [But they were weapons. No one is born with steel wings!] <I have to go with Beta on this one.> {~True.~}
Than I saw this huge black and white pony fighting another pony with a suit and tentacles. And I saw this black alicorn in the air shooting fire everywhere.
[Shit it's coming this way.] "Beta Zone..." I said quietly hiding myself behind this giant cybernetic like shield. "Whoa... when did you upgrade Beta?" [I don't know!] "Well let's cause some damage before..." The floor opened up again. "*sigh* Son of a bitch..."
I fell through the black and white tunnel again.
"Okay this is really giving me a headache!"
David's POV
I walked outside to see Dustin. He was a bit twitchy but happy. What's got him in a good mood? Oh! The Royal Wedding's coming up! Guess he heard about it! Odd... didn't think he liked weddings. Than he began knocking on the master guest room.
"Hello!" said Cadence opening the door to her room.
"Hello. I came to meet you."
"Oh come on in!" she allowed him to enter than closed the door behind her. I continued to walk down the hall when I met Vinyl. She just came back I guess.
"Oh hey David!" said Vinyl. "That is your proper name correct?"
"Yes it is!"
"Goodie! I swear I have good memory. Anyways have you seen Dustin?"
"He just went in Cadence's room." I told her. She had a confused look but decided to check on him.
"Hello Cadence?" asked the unicorn knocking on the door.
"Oh... hello!" said the pink alicorn. "May I help you?"
"Have you seen Dustin? A little taller than David and black and green hair. Can't miss him."
"Sorry I haven't seen him deary. I'll tell you if I have." she closed the door leaving us confused.
"I swear he was just here!" I told her.
"I believe you. Is it me or does she seem... more serious than usual?"
"We're probably just thinking it. Her wedding is soon."
"That's it! Your right! Sorry for doubting you."
"It's okay..." She is right though. This is definitely odd.
Dustin's POV
I fell out of the fucking 11th portal! How many are there?
"We're are we now?" I asked taking a sip out of my soda hat with root beer attached to it.
[I don't know! What the hell?] <What with all the ponies?>
I looked around to see I was on a platform surrounded by ponies.
"Can anyone help me?"
"Get out of here!" yelled one of them. I looked over the edge to see I was in a living room. I was on a toy self! I was toy size! This is really messing with my head. Than the door opened. I saw an overweight man carrying two boxes with Twilight and Pinkie in them. They looked horrified.
"Oh god it's the college humor skit!" ~What?~ {It's this really fucked up one about bronies. Than at the end he grabs this sex toy he made out of a flashlight and...}
We were cut off when the large man grabbed the flashlight beside me.
"Kill me!" cried the poor thing.
"Okay I'm out of here." The portal opened like on command. "Hey... I think I'm starting to get control of this." [What tells you that?] <Well... when we wanted to leave we left...> ~Meaning keep it up and we might just make it home!~
I fell through it again landing on a soundboard.
"Ow..." I turned slowly to see a white pony with blue hair and red tips. "Oh it's Eurobeat Pony! I need your autograph!" The portal opened again. "OH no no no! Come on! I want to be in this world!" I was sucked in and forced back into the tunnel.
"Control my ass... did you see that?" <Yeah. You failed to get an autograph!> "Not my fault!"
I went through another portal landing on grass again.
"Oh thank the gods..." I got up and noticed I was human again. "What?" I looked around and saw the entire world was humanized. "Oh this is cool! I might just stay here! Why would I go home?" Then this black and red portal opened up. "No!" I fell through it again. "Why is it that when I want to stay you want to teleport me? Hmm?"
David's POV
We were watching the wedding... well mostly. Dustin was gone for 3 days now and Vinyl hasn't been the same. Also Twilight got kicked out of the wedding for being too overprotective... but I wouldn't banish her even if she was. I mean Shining Armor's her brother for crying out loud!
"I now pronounce you..." started Celestia. Than Twilight and Cadence both came in the back door.
"Stop!" they yelled.
"That's not me! Stop the wedding!" What... the... fuck?
"Ah so she's figured out my plan. Good job." said the other Cadence turning into a changeling. Well more like queen of the changelings. "I am the queen of the changelings!" Called... it! "Kneel before me!"
"Your not hurting my ponies." said Celestia engaging the queen in a fight. After a rough minute Celestia went down.
"Oh no! Stay with me!" I said embracing her.
"My magic's too weak. Only the elements can stop her!"
"That's right and no- Oof!" said the queen as this red and black portal opened above her and a human fell on her. A human!
"Aha! Why am I still human?" asked the figure. He had blue eyes, brown hair that was stained with blonde and grey hairs, and was wearing all black clothes including a black vest, shirt, fingerless gloves, jeans, and converse. He also sounded like Dustin. "Oh It's the royal wedding! Hi David!"
"Dustin? How did you change?"
"Long story." He got up and went to Armor. "Don't you dare drop that shield! I know what happens!" Shining stopped his shield and powered down. "Dammit!"
Dustin's POV
"Alright! David! Take the girls and get the elements! Luna! Help Celestia!"
"On it!" said the moon princess.
"And I'll keep them busy!" I said jumping out the window. I fell into a group of changelings and started beating them up one by one. "Why are these things so gross?" [I don't know! Summon Excalibur and kick some ass!]
I summoned my trusty sword and held it to block a kick from one of the insects. When he kicked the blade his foot split in two sending it crying and retreating.
"Alpha Wave!" The sword turned into a rod. "A staff?" <Do something!>
I started spinning it around sending fire circles around me destroying the bugs by the ten's. It was beautiful.
"You know who else would find this beautiful?" [<~Who?~>] I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rock.
"Viking ponies!" I threw it up and turned it to a portal. The vikings ran out and started tearing into the bugs.
"Join us brother!" yelled the leader.
"Sure thing Bartholomew!" I said jumping on his back. I looked over and saw Twilight and her friends. "We help them!"
"No you don't!" yelled the queen. She shot a portal at me.
"Oh not again." I was sent back into the portal. I like how only I go in it and not Bartholomew or anybody. That's fucking radical! But to my surprise when I came out I landed on her again "Aha! Figured out your game!"
"Attack!" she cried to her underlings.
"Uh oh..."
David's POV
I looked over and saw Dustin in the air wrestling with the changelings. He was having fun. Why would someone have fun around a time like this? Oh!
"David pay attention!" yelled Twilight. I was surrounded by the changelings and watched as they turned into me. I know exactly what to do... I learned this from Prototype. I jumped on the one closer to me and twisted around a few times throwing him back. "Him! It's him!" I yelled pointing at the fake David. The other mes all jumped on him and started beating him up. I looked around and saw the girls fighting. So I'll just use my powers to tell me which one is which!
"Hmm... You." I said grabbing Fluttershy. I kept my eyes closed and concentrated. "You." I grabbed Pinkie.
"Thank you David." said the pink pony.
"Welcome. You." I grabbed Rarity.
"Why I never... oh thank you David."
"Mmhmm... You defiantly..." I grabbed Twilight. "And... you." I grabbed Applejack.
"Thank ya pardner."
"Don't mention it... I can't tell which RD it is though. They are all too aggressive." Oh I know! "Hey Rainbow! Dustin fucked up your party!"
"I'm gonna kill him!" yelled one Rainbow.
"You!" I grabbed her and formed a circle with the girls. We all watches as they kept on flying. "Okay... the elements are in that warehouse over there!"
"On it!" said Pinkie grabbing Twilight as a gun. She started pulling on her tail and shooting her way to the building.
"Oh my... I'm going to try that next time."
Dustin's POV
I continued to hold off the armies by the masses.
"Ow!" one of them bit me. "You fucker!" He jumped in the ground. So did the last 5 that I didn't kill yet. "ERRGGGHHH!" I grabbed a stop sign and used it as a hammer. "Die!" I tried to hit the one sticking it's head out of the ground. He ducked and another appeared behind me. [Concentrate!] {Fuck off I know what I'm doing!}
"Die die die die!" I continued to hit and the ground when they wouldn't stand still. Than all 6 stuck their heads out and stuck their tongues out. I swung the sign sideways and chopped off all their heads. "Aha! Suck on that you stupid bitches!"
"Dustin!" yelled David from my left. I turned to see him with the ladies and their elements.
"You got them? Good! Go get the queen! I'll hold them off some more! Allons-y!" I redrew my sword and switched to Dark Solo mode. The sword turned to a bow and I shot soul arrows at the changelings in the sky blowing them up. "One and a two and a three dead little creepy things. Four and a five and six little creep things. Seven and eight and nine little creepy things! Only a hundred to go!"
"Kill the singing idiot!" yelled the queen from the castle. I looked up to see a group charging at me. {Shit can we still change forms?} <We should why?> {Eden! Time to fly!} ~On it.~
I grew my bat wings and took flight to the castle. Maybe I can keep the queen busy while they attack. Excellent plan is excellent!
I got to the window and looked inside to see the mane 6 use the friendship cannon on the bug queen. But nothing happened.
"Hahahah! Is that all you can do?" asked the bitch.
"How is this possible?" cried Twilight.
"If your Celestia couldn't stop me than nobody can!" This is my cue...
"AAAAHHHH!!!" I yelled jumping at her. I gave her the meanest right hook I could muster.
"You hit me!"
"Your still standing?"
"How is... this..." She fell back unconscious.
"Oh yeah! I win! Oh oh who's on a roll? This guy!"
"And what exactly are you?" asked Celestia.
"I'm... wait... you don't know me?" They all turned their heads sideways except for David. "*sigh* Why is it that whenever I leave for a few minutes life goes to hell?" I walked over to Shining Armor. "Hey boy toy. You need to wake up and put your shield up." He didn't say anything so I gave him a good smack.
"Ugh... my head... what's happening? Who are you? What are you?"
"That's 3 questions! I shall answer only one! The changelings have invaded you need to combine with Cadence and expel all the creatures from the city!"
"Cadence!" the stallion ran past me.
"*sigh* This is the part where Twilight tells him what to do and it turns out to be the exact same thing I said."
"Brother!" said the unicorn. "We're under attack! Only you can put the shield up and remove all the changelings!"
"Your right Twilight! And... I'm sorry for earlier."
"It's okay BBFF. Now do it!"
{Seriously?} [I quit. No honestly... I quit! If they don't want to listen to us than we don't belong.] <I agree. I think it's time we packed our bags before another war happens.> ~And what about our friends?~
I looked up at the happy group cheering on Shining Armor. He combined his power with Cadence to send out a shock wave removing all threats. Sadly... I must count as a threat.
"Whoa what are you doing?" I was lifted out the window and sent flying to the sky. "Really? No! Fuck them! I don't need anybody!" I looked around me to see all the other changelings. They were all knocked out and going faster than me. Than I stopped going up.
{Yes! We stopped!} <That's... a bad thing.> {Uh oh...}
I began to free fall.
"Oh my nostalgia..." I turned my body around and held out my arms. "This time I'm going to enjoy it." ~But we'll crash into the ground!~ {Uh... bat wings?} ~Oh right... tee hee.~
I started flapping my wings and stopped my fall by landing gracefully on the ground.
{Should we go back? I mean they don't recognize us.} <Sure... maybe David will tell them.> {David?} [Yeah... he recognized us.] "Let's hope he does..." I began my long walk to the castle. "Where did I land?" ~Just fly!~ {My back's hurting. I need a break.}
I sat down on a log near the meadow I was beside of. Kinda wish I had my guitar right about now.
<Oh my god the sword!> "What about..." I pulled it out. "OH MY GOD! What happened?" The blade was gone and the handle was cracked. [That magic blast... they destroyed Excalibur.] "*sniff* Well... you finally did it guys. You killed my soul weapon. Just fucking great..." ~Just cheer up! I'm sure they remember us.~
David's POV
"OH my god what did you do?" I yelled at Shining Armor.
"I removed all threats. Why?"
"You just killed Dustin!" everyone gasped. "That was him in human form! And you just threw him away!"
"But he's been gone for 3 days!" cried Vinyl.
"It must have had something to do with that changeling queen. Oh... DAMMIT!" I gave the broken door a kick removing it from it's hinges.
"David calm down..." said Celestia weakly getting up. "I'm sure he's fine and he'll probably forgive us."
Dustin's POV
I was running down the forest as fast as I could. Behind me was a cockatrice, a manticorn, and a hydra.
"I will never forgive them!"
Had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I also put in a few references from some other stories and bronies in here. If you are reading this kickass222urmom and KillJoy and Eurobeat... I just want to show my love for you guys.
I continued sneaking around the forest that I was lost in. Fuck Shining Armor and fuck everyone else for not helping me!
[They were scared of us!] {Scared? I imagined them capturing me and doing painful test but scared?] <It's a trait we all have.> {No! It's a human trait!} ~Yet your never scared. Explain that.~ {I... I don't know. Let's find shelter.}
The clouds above me started to react and storm. The lightning was terrible and the sky was dangerous. I swear someone up their has it out for me.
~There!~
Eden pointed to a small hut.
"Great!"
I ran to it quietly. I turned back to check and make sure I lost all those animals. Coast is clear. I quietly lifted up the window and climbed inside. {This is grand! Who lives in the forest?} [Well the only person we know that does is...] We were cut off by the sound of a vase dropping. I turned to see our favorite zebra. [...Zecora...]
"Uh... hi?" I asked her.
"Why have you come here beast? Is it me you want to feast?"
"What? No! I just need to get out of the rain!"
"Halt" She threw a cup of hot tea in my face.
"Ow!...... Why?"
"Out out out." she pushed me outside like an animal. "I knew I shouldn't have gotten a house out here. All these beast live off of fear."
"Wait!" she slammed her door in my face. The rain began to pour heavily. Than I started feeling a pain in my chest. "Ah!" I fell to my knees coughing violently. "*cough* Ow..." [Dustin!] <OH man! Stay down!> "Ugh..." I put my back against the door and let the rain fall on me. ~The sword! Oh god it's broken! That's our soul! Broken!~ "And... I'm... dying..." [Stay with me!] I closed my eyes. They felt heavy. Too heavy. When I opened them I was still outside. I was weak and cold. Who leaves someone out in the rain? Apparently Zebras. Those rat bastards. Hold on... I reached in my vest pocket and pulled out a notebook.
'Things to get revenge on...
1. Niko. 2. David. 3. Shining Armor. 4. Zecora.'
{Heheheh...} <Oh god... Dustin's using the evil laugh.> {MUWAHAHAHA!} ~Who laughs in their head?~ [Dustin.]
I got up and walked along the trail to the nearest town. Shit the nearest town is Ponyville. I looked around me for cover. I could stay in the forest and go around which will take about 4 days on foot. I also found a cardboard box. Well... time to get my Solid Snake on.
<You don't have a mullet.> ~Or a headband.~ [But we do have medium shaggy hair parted very nicely. We're like Naked Snake from the beginning of MGS3.] {Oh Naked is my favorite one! Why? He's Big Boss!} <You win this time Beta.> ~Your just going to throw the towel in? Hey at least Solid's not dead.~ {Oh... Too soon...} ~No it not! That game happened a long time ago!~ {It's never not too soon Eden!} ~Okay okay... don't raise your voice please. It scares me.~ {Fine.}
I slept the box on after punching out some eye holes. I went around the town quietly making my way towards the road to Canterlot. I was on a home run until I got to the town square. What happened? Two words... Two dearly dreaded words that to this day still haunt me...................... Pinkie Pie.
"Hi hi hi! Who are you? Are you a cardboard box? No that's just silly! Oh oh are we having a cardboard party?" I stayed quiet because I was scared completely shit-less. <Scarier than Tia and Luna's rape face?> {So much more.}
I tried to go around her but she backed me up to the statue AND to make matters worse she had a crowd growing.
"Take of the box please? Please! Please please please please!"
"Pinkie!" I yelled at her harshly. "SHUT... UP!" She stopped right their. Her mane deflated (Like, I'm not shitting you, a balloon. That's exactly the sound she made.) She stopped smiling and than I heard Rainbow Dash coming. She was going to tackle me I just know it. "Oh no... Okay Pinkie?" she looked like she was going to cry. "Pinkie don't cr-"
"WAAAAAHHHH!!!!"
"-Oh boy..." I was tackled by Rainbow against the statue. She forcefully removed my cardboard cover showing me to the crowd.
"What's your problem? She's trying to be nice!"
"My problem is that your crushing my kidney." She stepped off of me. "Ah... there we are... now! I must ask of you to not be mad at me since it's her fault."
"And where were you walking to?" asked Twilight.
"Canterlot."
"Can't you humans fly?" asked Rainbow. I did a little twirl for her.
"Do I look like I can fly?"
"So your all weak creatures who can't fly? No magic or anything?" asked Twilight.
"Hmm.... Nope... not really... unless your a witch. You don't want to be a witch."
"Wow your so pathetic! Hah hah hah!" said the laughing cyan pegasus.
"Alright Rainbow. I'm about to ruin your day. You just got mad at me for yelling at Pinkie for annoying me. So you call me weak for being 'inferior' to you. Pinkie doesn't have wings or magic. So do you think she's pathetic? Hmm?"
"Uh... I... Uh..."
"Didn't think so." I patted her on the head and started walking away.
"Where are you going?" asked Fluttershy.
"I'm going to Canterlot. I need to talk to someone."
"I can teleport you."
"You know what Twilight? I don't want your help!" she looked shocked and hurt. "I'm just a 'weak' creature who's survived this long by getting help from no body. Good day." I started my run to the city. I need to get help before hunters want to ambush me. I'm still having chest pains and back pains. Now my left arm was starting to hurt.
[We could have just gotten help.] {No. She pissed me off.} <I'm happy that you didn't kill her.> ~What do you mean?~ {We usually kill the people that piss us off. And it's usually on the battlefield.}
14 hours later...
"Oh...*gasp* My... God..." I finally made it! Yes! Woo! Yeah!
<What are you cheering about?> ~Good job. You made it to the outskirts of a town. I'm so proud.~ [The bubble's still up.]
I walked up to it and knocked on it.
"Hello? Can someone let me in?" A bunch of guards walked up to the bubble and were amazed by the sight of me.
"Halt... creature. You are not allowed inside."
"But... why?"
"You pose a threat!"
"A threat? My good sir I swear that I..."
"Enough." they walked away. I went back to poking the bubble. I could not get inside. I tried kicking it. Headbutting didn't work and neither did asking it nicely. "Seriously stop before we have to hurt you."
"Hurt me?!" What the hell is wrong with these ponies. Then Shining Armor walked by. "Hey! Shining! Can you help me out?"
"It's you... guards..." Oh thank the heavens. He's going to let me in. I guess he's not all that bad. "Kill him." Or not.
"Oh boy." I turned and started running backwards as about 12 guards chased me through the woods. Man were they fast.
~I don't think we can outrun them!~ {I don't appreciate that kind of negativity.} <Just don't stop.>
I stepped into a snare trap which pulled me from the ground fast. I hit my head on a boulder cutting myself.
"Ow..." My vision was a little blurry. I was bleeding that's for sure. [Really? We stop wars and dragons and nightmares and the one thing that gets us... the one thing! Is a snare trap.] {Shut up...} <Okay Iron. We'll play your game.> {Not cool...} <You okay?> {...No... I think I'm going to die...}
I bent up and untied the rope from my ankle. I was still a little ahead of the soldiers but it was harder to move. Then a grenade or a landmine (I really couldn't tell the difference.) went off sending me flying downhill. I went through many trees until I hit the bottom. I couldn't move my legs anymore.
~Oh my god Dustin!~
I ripped open my vest and shirt showing all the shrapnel did in fact hit me.
<Don't move!> [Just play dead!] {There's no time! Eden! Take the back up body and take Alpha and Beta with you.}
I removed the female body I kept in storage. Eden had her original body back and she had Alpha and Beta on her shoulders.
"Now run... please... *Cough* Hurry!"
"But they'll kill you!" she had tears in her eyes. She helped me up but I fell back down next to the tree. My right arm was missing. Like a little right above the elbow. That was what was missing.
"Eden go!" The soldiers were getting close. She had her bat wings.
"Dustin..."
"GO!" She nodded and flew away as fast as she could. She made Rainbow look like a joke. The soldiers surrounded me with swords drawn. Shining Armor was the first to walk up to me.
"So monster you think you can attack Canterlot?" I tried to talk but I ended up puking blood. "Ew... Hey. Look. We're sorry but we can't have you killing innocent-"
"I wasn't there to kill... hehehe... I was there to visit a certain pony." I just remembered something. In my vest pocket!
"We're so sorry. Any last words?" he asked. He knew that I wasn't going to attack. He wasn't sorry. Now I know where Twilight gets her ruthlessness from. I reached into my pocket to pull out my last carton of cigarettes. I remembered before I died I bought this so when I went back in time I got them back! Yes! I put one in my mouth and lit it up.
"You can have it all. My kingdom of dirt." They were a little surprised. "I will hunt you down. I will make you hurt." They all raised their swords and attacked me. But when they did I didn't feel it. I looked around me to see I was in a forest. It was a long and dark forest surrounded by mist.
"Hello." said a gruff voice behind me. I turned to see a skeleton with a cloak riding a horse.
"What?"
"I am Death. My lord wants to meet you Dustin."
"What?"
"Come on!" he patted his horse. "Off we go."
"What?"
David's POV
I was organizing the books in our study. Something just felt wrong with the world today. Then Dustin ran inside the doors in a mare's body.
"David!" he cried.
"Dustin? What do you need?"
"No I'm Eden! Listen..." she had tears running down her face. First she fell to her knees and the tears continued to fall. Something was obviously wrong.
"Eden what's wrong?"
"Dustin's dead. Your soldiers just murdered him." she cried. I pulled her in for a hug. [David... what are we going to do?] <Without Dustin we're nothing.>
"Don't say that guys. I'm sure we can fix this. I'll spread the bad news." I wrapped a blanket around Eden. She took the blow worse than the others.
2 hours later
I told everyone at the table. They were all shocked and hurt.
"So my soldiers did this?" asked Celestia.
"Afraid so."
"Shining Armor would never..." started Twilight.
"But I did." said the pony walking in the door. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was him."
"You were only doing your job?" asked Celestia.
"Yes ma'am."
"Than you and your soldiers are excused. It was our fault." The princesses went right on back to talking.
Dustin's POV
"So... Death. Where are we going?"
"To meet your god." His horse stopped walking as this white door appeared. "Go on." He pushed me off and disappeared.
"Dick." I walked inside. "Ow this is hard without my arm... Hello?" I asked around.
"Hello Dustin." said the old man.
"Oh... hi God!"
"I saw what happened. And right now he just tried to prove himself innocent."
"Is he?"
"A little. He didn't show it though... no... he definitely murdered you."
"That's comforting."
"I suppose. Listen... do you want another chance at life?"
"Sure... what's the downside?"
"You must forget your past life and everything you've done."
"...That's a little... extreme."
"Come... first you must prove yourself in the trials." He wrapped his arm around my back. "This way."
I followed him outside to the giant training course.
"Alright Dustin. First training course tests out your speed."
"I'm sure I can handle it."
"Can you?" God snapped his fingers dropping chains and weight tons on my body.
"Ah! What is this?"
"You must learn to be fast and heavy. Your new armor will serve that purpose."
"Armor?"
"First you must earn it."
"Earn?"
"Get going before I release the hell hounds."
"What?"
Death walked up beside me and blew a whistle.
"Shit!" I got up and tried to run but fell back down.
"Take it easy Dustin." said God.
"I can't!" One of the fiery hell hounds jumped up and bit me in the ass. "OW!"
"Just use your safe word." said Death.
"I don't have OW! Okay! Oklahoma! Oklahoma!" the dog let go. "Oh man..."
"Oklahoma?"
"It was the first thing that came to my mind."
"Huh. Zeus nailed you good." said Death picking up the dog. "Didn't you? Didn't you? Aw..." he allowed the dog to lick his eyeholes.
"Eh..."
"Get going." said God.
"Right!"
David's POV
Hmm... yeah... marshmallows...that's what I want...
"Hey! Wake up!" said someone outside of my dream. I awoke to see Celestia worrying.
"What time is it..." I asked her.
"It's time to get up!"
"What is it?"
"I think I heard something."
"Relax. There's no such thing as ghosts."
"I didn't say ghost."
"You did now."
"Maybe it's your dead friend."
"Dustin? Nah."
"I swear he's after us!"
"Doubt it. I'm sure he's having the time of his life up there in heaven."
Meanwhile...
"Faster!" yelled God as I ran on the bamboo pipes he had laid out vertically. I didn't want to complain since he was a god and all but this is nuts! I made it to the end of the track all... out of breath.
"*gasp* OH... hah hah hah... how'd I do?"
"Better. You did it in 20 seconds. Do you know how much of those weights we put on you weigh?"
"No."
"Well it's 2 ton each so we put 3 of them on you."
"I'm carrying 6 tons?!"
"Surprised? You shouldn't be. All angels can carry more than they look like they can."
"I"m an angel?"
"Always have been. Well if we're throwing that out then I'll put this out there as well. Your name's not Dustin."
"Oh great... another change..."
"It's actually Grimm."
"Grimm? That sounds grim."
"Don't start with the puns."
"Sorry."
"Next training. Intelligence. I see how you are fooled and let ponies like Celestia read your mind."
"I know."
"This one will be easy. I'll just upgrade your head."
"How does that-" he put his hands on my head. "OW! Jeez! What are you doing?!"
"Fixing you."
"I'm not a pet!"
"All done."
"OH really? Huh. Didn't really... feel... it..."
"Next is to get you a new arm and body." He and Death both grabbed me.
"This isn't fair! I can't fight back! NO!"
"Stop whining." said Death.
"I'm not whining. THIS is whining. Wah the straps are too tight! Why do I have to get a metal arm? Why can't I regrow it? Why does Death not have skin? Why does-"
"We get it!" cried God.
"Tell me when your done."
"Done."
"Huh." I looked down at my new arm. It was a metal arm that showed where muscle would be and large metal pieces.
"Your a shape shifter so I don't need to explain this to you."
"Not at all."
"Next step is to get you your new armor and weapon." I followed them outside the training to the armory. "Grimm."
"That takes some getting use to."
"Sorry. I want to make you my own personal soldier. The Painkiller."
"Right on!"
"Right on exactly. You'll go to other dimensions and worlds to regulate the balance and good in order. Don't let chaos win."
"Sweet."
"Mostly. We still need to make your armor and get you out of here."
The small group led me to a large chasm. It was in between two cliffs and appeared to never end.
"You must go alone." said God.
"Best of luck Painkiller." said Death. The two slowly walked away.
"Painkiller...I like the sound of that." I looked around and saw a tree limb sticking in the cliff. "Well... that's handy." I held my arm and shot my hand on it with a chain attached. "Time to swing!" I jumped and went faster than I imagined. To make things worse their were monster arms and tentacles trying to grab me. I made it to the end to see I was at a bridge.
"Ah... we meet again." said the bridge keeper.
"Hello keeper. Give me your 3 questions."
"Question 1. What is your heavenly name?"
"Grimm."
"Question 2. What is your quest?"
"To become the Painkiller."
"Question 3. What... is your favorite color?"
"Orange."
"Okay. Off you go."
"Thank you very much."
"Such a nice young man." he said to himself turning around. The bridge was long and old. Way to be creepy.
David's POV
I walked inside my room after a day of keeping paparazzi busy.
"Celestia I'm home." No response. "Luna?"
"Over here." said Luna. She looked terrified.
"What's wrong baby?" I asked her.
"I keep hearing footsteps. Not like a pony. Its these loud footsteps that-" *step... step... step...* "See?! That's not a pony!"
"That's... human. Hello?" I asked around in the dark room. Nothing. "Luna I think this is creepy and we should leave."
*sound of footsteps running and door slamming.*
"Or not... Okay.... Dustin would know what to do here."
Dustin's POV
I was still walking across that old bridge which seemed to get more dramatic with each step. After a good... meh... 4 minutes... I made it to this door. Inside was a black orb on a pedestal. Actually there were multiple orbs but the black one had 'Painkiller' on it's pedestal. I grabbed it and it spread out and surrounded me like a black ooze.
"Gah! OH god! This is surprisingly painful!" I continued to fight it.
"Grimm just let it take control." said God. I stopped fighting and the ooze started fusing with my skin. When it was done I had this suit of armor on that showed my muscle and had this... alien like pattern to it. Kinda like the Guyver but... not exactly. The helmet closed around my head and I looked in the mirror. It had a smooth mask that closed from top to bottom. I had two big orange eyes and horns. The only thing that wasn't covered was my metal arm.
"This is... amazing..."
"This is you. This armor is you Grimm. You can do just about anything. Now time to be armed." The armor had shoulder plates and gauntlets with spike on them. Same thing with my legs and knee guards. The orange eyes moved sort of and they even blinked. How cute... Oh god I'm losing my mind.
We made it to the armory which was filled with weapons. In the middle was a pedestal with a hand scanner on it. I never really looked at my new hands. They had claws on them and armor protecting my hand and fingers. I placed it on the scanner and orange lights filled the area.
'Scanning... scanning... Welcome Painkiller. Please take your weapon.' said the computer as a door at the end of the hall opened up. I walked down the isle and inside to see paintings on the wall.
"We had a Painkiller before you Grimm but he couldn't live with his sins."
"I don't have a problem."
"No you don't. That's why your perfect. You can't die... forgot to tell you that."
"Sweet. And if I get destroyed?"
"You'll appear in heaven and we'll send you back." said Death.
Inside the room at the far end showed two things. 1. an old suit of armor which was gold and blue with a Trojan style to it. 2. A small one-handed axe with two sides. It even had fire carvings engraved into it.
"That's the Separator." said Death. "Strongest little axe that was ever made. The only weapon stronger is the Harvester."
"Your scythe." I told him.
"Ah so your a man who reads myths?"
"It's not really a myth if it's happening is it?"
"Guess not." I grabbed the axe and felt the surge of power go through me. I'm unstoppable. Crazy yet unstoppable. I put the axe on my back and the armor held it in place.
"Your ready." said God. "Oh just a heads up. Before we send you back to Equestria I want you to know that it's been a few weeks since you died."
"Alright." I told him. He and Death both touched the scanners of a door and opened it. The speaker played 'Shoot to thrill' by AC~DC. I jumped out and opened two large steel wings beginning my flight for Canterlot.
David's POV
We ran to the door and tried to open it. Than this mist appeared and the invisible figure turned into Chrysalis!
"I'm back!"
"Why?" I asked her. "Haven't you caused enough trouble?"
"I came to get an old friend of mine back."
"Stay away from that statue!" yelled Luna.
"So you know who I want?" asked Chrysalis.
"Discord needs to stay imprisoned." OH shit... Why is it the one time Dustin's dead this happens?
"I will take... what... I... what is that?" We all turned at looked at the sunrise. A giant scar appeared in the sky and a figure jumped out of it with large steel wings heading our way. I jumped for cover as the wall blew up. The figure appeared human in a way wearing this futuristic armor. "Who are you?" she yelled.
The figure remained quiet and realigned his horns on the back of his head. "Today is... June...9... 2012... Huh."
"Back off! Discord is mine!" cried the queen. The figure had this metal arm which he turned into a mini-gun and started revving it up. "What does that do?" she asked.
"This." I couldn't count how many times he shot. It moved so fast and spewed out bullets. The queen fell dead after splitting into pieces. Than the sound of locust filled the air. The figure turned around and jumped out of the wall landing in the middle of town as an army of changelings filled the air. He drew the axe from his back and started chopping up groups with one swings. It was a soldier built for killing and destruction. After a good 5 minutes of him shooting missiles and guns while slashing... he killed all the changelings.
"What are you?" asked Celestia walking up to him. His helmet unfolded to show he was a sort-of young male with long black hair, a small black stubble, and orange eyes with a purple ring inside them.
"I'm the Painkiller." he told her. He held up his metal arm as a cigarette appeared as he popped his pinkie down. His index finger turned into a lighter.
Grimm's POV
It was about 2 hours of me avoiding paparazzi and walking with the princess to the dining room. We all stopped for dinner as I sat in the seat all the way across from her. I didn't eat a thing. Don't need to anymore.
"Aren't you gonna eat?" asked Pinkie.
"Nope!" I told her. I looked over and saw Eden and Vinyl kiss. Vinyl cheated on me with myself? Really?
"What kind of name is Painkiller?" asked Rainbow.
"Title. That's what I do Rainbow."
"What?"
"Fight." I unfolded my helmet and smoked another cigarette.
"Do you have to smoke those? *cough*" asked Twilight sitting beside me.
"Yes."
"You don't say much do ya?" asked Applejack.
"No."
"Tell us about yourself." asked Vinyl. Well... let's see here... what should I tell them?
"OW!" Celestia got shocked.
"Don't read my mind." I told her. David gave her an angry face and she smiled sheepishly. I started playing with my hair. Well... for starters it was black or dark brown. Second it fell down past my shoulders. Since when was this? Also orange eyes? That's cool and all but... why? I guess to get me that... afterlife feeling God did this. It's actually really cool.
"Well?" asked Fluttershy.
"Well..."
"What's your real name?" they all moved their heads closer.
"It's Grimm. That's with two 'M's." I told her. Pinkie kept looking between me and the grass on the plate in front of me.
"I know why you won't eat! It's just grass. Humans don't eat grass?"
"Two things. 1. That's true. 2. I'm not exactly Human."
"You can say that again." said Rainbow. I teleported behind her and wrapped my arm around her neck.
"Say what?"
"I mean... uh... your better than human because your all robotic and cool looking." she smiled like Twilight.
"Uh huh. I'm an angel. Direct soldier for heaven."
"So what are you doing here?" asked Niko.
"Simple Niko. I regulate balance and order. When Chrysalis tried to take Discord I had to stop her before Chaos spread."
"How do you know my name?" he asked.
"I know everything." I told him. Celestia got shocked again. "What did I tell you?"
"Sorry." she said. "So what your just going to leave us?" she asked.
"I will when I'm needed." I went back to my seat and laid in it while on 2 legs.
"Your arm..." said Shining Armor. I didn't notice him and Cadence. "What happened there?"
"I lost it a long time ago when I was mortal." He looked horrified about it. "Is it a problem that 'someone' wanted me dead?"
"Uh... n-no! I mean yes!"
"Don't worry..." I whispered so only he could hear me. "I forgive you." He stopped freaking out and stared at me. I don't want to be in this world anymore... like right now... I swear there are other places with problems. I held out my hand and opened a portal.
"What are you doing?" asked Celestia standing up. I jumped in the portal and closed it behind me.
I looked around to see I was falling from the sky. I went through a large skyscraper and landed in what appeared to be a wasteland-like Time Square. Is this Earth?
"It's the traveler!" said a voice behind me. I turned around to see zombie like people running for me. "Kill him!"
"Oh boy..." I opened another portal and appeared in a crater. "Huh... A hole? Is this that one world where I saw Ponyville destroyed?" I climbed out and looked around to see no body around me. I started flying but I couldn't find any danger.
"Hmm..." I repositioned my horns so I could pick up receptions.
'And it's another great day in Equestria isn't it bronies?' I turned off the radio. That didn't help much. Kinda wish I had Alpha or Beta. Even Eden would help beat the silence. I stopped flying and started walking. The armor kept me cool in the hot and hot in the winter. So right now instead of sweating my balls off I'm like a Popsicle. I teleported to Canterlot to save me the boredom and kept my head down. I activated a cloaking device and walked around.
"Bye Lance." I heard Twilight say waving at that one blue pony I saw from before. I walked past him and found myself at what appeared to be a destroyed house. I guess someone had a bad fight. I then saw Octavia making out with an icy-blue mare with white spots. Okay I didn't expect that from her. I kept on walking till I got to the outskirts of town where I saw a green unicorn smoking weed. They have weed here? Odd... I'd rather stick to my smokes though.
"Hm?" I hit some kind of force field. I spaced out and ended up in a forest again. I placed my hands on it and tried to go around. "This place is boring." I summoned another portal and jumped through it. I was in some sort of arctic world now.
"Time to fight!" yelled a pony charging for Twilight's army.
"OH hey! It's me in the future! This must be the world when David didn't save me! Well I look *sound of beheading*... great... Next world!" I jumped inside another portal and ended up in a small tunnel. "Ah! Damn!" I crawled out and looked around I couldn't really see but I heard a horn behind me. I turned to see a subway train that ran over me.
"Well done..." said God from behind me. "2 hours and your already dead."
"It's not my fault!" I summoned a portal and stepped inside. I was back in my Equestria. "This isn't bad... Just need some getting use to..." I looked around and saw more technology than before. "Alright..." I grabbed a paper. "2098?!" I flew up and saw a large statue with many graves around it. The statue was of... guess who... David. The graves were of all the Elements of Harmony and his friends.
"Who are you?" asked a pony from behind. I turned to see a white unicorn with blue and black hair and red eyes. "What are you? Are you a human from legend?"
"Uh..."
"Wow! Wait I can't get off topic..." she started knocking on her head. "I'm Free Melody. You?"
"Painkiller."
"Well are you here for a reason?"
"I came to pay some respect."
"I came to say goodbye to my mom." said the filly as she placed some flowers on a grave with Vinyl's cutie mark on it. Oh god it's my kid... Time to get out of here!
So this marks the beginning of the Travels of a Madman story. Every time I write a story about Dustin I'll put ToaM in front of it meaning it's about him.
I went back in time to right where I left my friends at the dining table.
"Sorry! I had to go visit someone!" I said.
"You back that quick? It's only been seconds!"
"I know. Duh. Who do you think I am? An idiot?"
"No! Not at all!"
Alright... if your reading this than your wandering... 'Where the fuck is the new chapter?!' Well you see I got a surprise visit from my family. They decided to spend the weekend and celebrate Memorial Day. Now get this... My mom had two kids... her sister had two kids... her brother had 1 kid... Now I'm serious, get this. My mom's youngest sister had 9 kids! Yeah! Like no joke... so that's why this chapter is so late.
"So guys... I want to speak to you two." I said pointing to David and Niko. They followed me out of the room. "Guys! It's me! Dustin!"
"What? Your dead!" said David.
"Mostly. No it was more like... a revelation."
"So your back Dustin. That's impressive."
"It's Grimm actually."
"Right." said Niko. "You aren't faking it are you?"
"No."
"And let me guess..." started David. "Don't tell anybody else?"
"Not another soul." I told him. "I just thought about something." I closed my eyes and switched to Pony form. "Better?"
"Better." said both of them.
"Now listen. When another universe is on the verge of chaos I'm gonna go and save it. Until then I'll hang out here."
"That's cool..." said David. We went back in and took our seats.
"Hey Grimm! Do you want a cupcake?" asked Pinkie. I looked at her slowly and started to move my seat back. "Hey your a pony now! How do you do that? Is it magic? Wanna cupcake?" The word haunted my mind. Every she said cupcake I heard death.
"So your a shape shifter?" asked Celestia. "That's how you made those weapons."
"All except the Separator. That's my real deal axe." I wanted to kick back and relax in my chair but I kept on seeing Vinyl and Eden making out. That just not fair. I mean it's hot! But still... No love for me...
"What are you looking at?" asked Vinyl. "The orange eyes on your helmet move and they are looking right at me. It's creepy."
"Sorry. I was just looking at your... relationship." David and Niko both looked at me with large eyes.
"What about it?" asked Eden. [Got a problem freak?] <Yeah! Come at me bro.>
"I don't need to Alpha and Beta. I was just confused about how Vinyl here is with a mare but... is pregnant."
"Well you see-" she started.
"-Ah ah ah... I know everything. Yeah I saw what happened a few weeks back." I lied!
[How do you know our names?] <Are you a spy or something?>
"No no. I'm just a man. Well... not really... but technically!"
"I think he's gone mad." whispered Applejack.
"Did you say something?" I asked her. I know she has to be honest.
"Well... uh... yeah. Are you okay in the head partner?"
"Why of course I'm not!" They all looked at me worriedly. "I'm just pulling your leg... legs... hooves... hmm..."
"Your over thinking again." said David.
"Yes well that may be the case."
"See. I'm usually right huh Niko-" I cut him off.
"You ain't got no pancake mix!" I yelled throwing a box of it on the table.
"Where did you get that?" asked Twilight. I shrugged my shoulders and looked over at Octavia. She was happily
Alright... This is where I had to stop again. I mean I would have had the story done days ago but... I got sick. Like summer allergies or something. Also I'm a bit depressed since my girlfriend Bronwyn moved away yesterday. She didn't want to but she had to. Like bad parents or something. I'm just not feeling well anymore. It really sucks. Anyways I may go to California to visit her again since we didn't break our relationship. If all goes well she may move back to the east coast. Just pray for me fellow readers. ~ Static.
I looked at Octavia who was happily enjoying her company with Niko. How this relationship would work out I don't think I will ever know. I felt left out now. It was like losing Kay all over again. So much pain... and for nothing. No cause is worth this yet I've lost it twice! God... I'm hopeless.
"You seem troubled." asked Rarity. "Are you alright?"
"No but that's normal for me." I told her.
A few more minutes went by and everyone went to bed. I however had different plans. I saw Shining and Cadence by themselves.
Flashback
"Grimm you must hunt down all sinners. Even ones who sin to you."
"Even if I forgive them?"
"Yes. You are a god among these people but they don't know it. I need you to keep order in balance. That includes killing ponies like the one who killed you."
"Alright."
End of FB...
"I love you." said Shining Armor getting a kiss from Cadence.
"I love you as well my knight."
"I'm going out for a walk."
"Alright dear. Please don't stay out for too long."
"I promise Cadence. Bye." I saw him walk out and I phased myself through the wall. He didn't see me as I had a cloaking spell activated. I followed him into the park where it was just the two of us. I grabbed a rock and threw it against the bench behind him. "Odd... hello?"
I didn't say anything. I did, however, knew just exactly how to scare him.
"Hello? Anypony there?" I uncloaked myself. "Ah Pain. What are you doing here?" I grabbed my axe and drew it. "What are you doing?"
"You can have it all... My kingdom of dirt..."
"Wait... I know that... *gasp* You're- AH!" I grabbed him by the neck and slammed him against the floor.
"I will hunt you down..."
"Please! Forgive me! I know it was wrong of me to order it and execute you but please!"
"I will make you hurt..." I brought down the axe on his left hoof pinning him to the ground. I summoned a chain and wrapped it around his stomach and other hoof.
"Please..." he said choking out tears. I grabbed his back legs and folded my mask up.
"Look at me. This is the face of death. This is the mask you have forced me to wear once again."
"I'm so... sorry..."
"Oh that just fixes it. Do you know what they say about eating dinner?" I asked him pulling his legs out and ripping his torso open dragging his guts. "Beware of a sudden bowel movement." His eyes rolled up in the back of his head. It actually felt kinda good. I know however that I'm gonna regret this soon. Twilight. I didn't think about her. Cadence. It's been awhile since I've fought an alicorn. Oh I had better erase his memory of me killing him! His brain will remember this and someone will use magic to find out who did it. I quickly wiped his brain but ended up attracting attention.
"Anybody over there?" asked a pony from behind me. I turned into a squirrel and climbed up a tree quickly. "AAAAGGGGHHHH!" she screamed and fainted. I looked over to see Twilight.
"*sigh* Fuck my life..." all the others came out. They helped her and tried to ignore the body of the now just married Shining Armor. Huh. If you ask me I think it's ironic. You know... I got my wedding taken away. He had it but died. That's funny.
I watched slowly for a good hour as they all grieved over the dead body. I even saw David and Niko. Alright I admit it... it was a little wrong but that's my job. You can't yell at me! Oh when will they stop crying.
2 hours later
I laid in the tree still brain dead as they all continued to grieve. I ran away from the tree when they weren't looking and changed my form around a building back to pegasus. I can still use magic though... but I need to use my hands/hoof. Think of it like Bioshock. Yeah... but with wings. I walked back to the park with a guilty conscious. Nobody will ever know... Not even the princess can read my brain.
"Hey guys... Oh my..." I stopped and crouched over the body. I need to keep this professional. "Well... the person who killed him must have had a grudge."
"What?" asked Twilight. "Who could hate my brother?"
"I don't know Twilight Sparkle. I don't know. See these markings?" I told them pointing to the cuts on his hooves. "These so that someone tied him down and ripped him in half. That's a bad way to go. Especially revenge related."
"How do you know it's revenge related?" asked Rainbow.
"Once again I don't know. But I would do it..." I closed his eyes. "Rest in peace."
"So Pain. Grimm. Whatever it is..." started Rainbow.
"No it wasn't me." I finished her sentence. I knew that was the answer to her question. Why? She stopped talking.
"Psst..." said David motioning for me to meet him behind a building. I left the group with out alerting them and talked with him.
"What did you do?"
"Nothing."
"Dustin I know you!"
"Fine. He was the assfuck who murdered me."
"What?"
"Yes. Now keep your voice down. I didn't kill him for revenge. I did it for the balance of this world."
"I don't understand."
"See how peaceful the world is right now? They are forgetting that death always lingers behind a corner. I must keep fear in their mind and peace in their hearts."
"That doesn't make any sense!"
"It will. Oh trust me it will."
"I can't believe you did this."
"I can't believe your still bitching about it." He looked at me angrily. "What?"
"Okay I will admit he was kinda of a douche. I'm not mad at you or him but I'm worried. For Twilight."
"I didn't think about her until it was too late." I told him. "But she'll forget this. I know Twilight. All she needs is a good friend."
"You do it."
"I can't. I have the blood of-"
"You do it."
"...Fine." David teleported away. I turned back to see most of the group leaving. However one didn't move even when the mortician came by and the police were investigating. Twilight Sparkle. I just ruined her life...
I know what your thinking. 'Static why the fuck did you go all grimdark on us?' Well it's elementary my dear readers... I am pissed! And I'm taking it out on the stallion who pissed me off the most. No one banished Twilight from a wedding! Nobody! Oh also did I mention that I'm sick and possibly dying? No? Well I think I am. I doubt it. I just need to take some medicine which I absolutely hate. I hate medicine. In my opinion it makes me weaker. Than again that's because it's my opinion... Meh! Don't laugh! This isn't funny!
I walked over to the crying unicorn. I felt kinda bad... but I'm justified.
"Hey Twilight." I unfolded my helmet. "Hey... hey look at me."
"Someone killed my brother. He's gone... my BBFF..."
"Twilight... listen to me... someone killed him. Your right he's gone. But that doesn't mean you are."
"So I should *sniff* get a hold of myself?"
"Yes. Please. Don't cry anymore." she couldn't help but let more tears fall. I pulled her in for a hug. "There there."
"Grimm... what do I do?"
"Nothing. There's nothing we can do here." I turned back to my human form and lifted her up with my arms. I decided to take her back to her library. Tomorrow... well... I might have to tell her the truth. We will see.
I took me awhile but I managed to get her home safe and sound. She still didn't talk to me. I know what she's thinking. She's thinking I did it. Well... I mean I did but... I didn't expect her to think of me as a threat.
"Twilight... are you okay? No headache or fever?"
"No. I'm fine Grimm."
"Well I was just think-"
"Get lost!" she yelled slamming her bedroom door. Ouch. I turned back to my pony form and went for a midnight walk. This is the life. I can do whatever I want, I can't die, I don't need food or water, and I don't need sleep. Some would call it a curse but I find it helpful.
Meanwhile...
"Twilight! Why did you kick him out!" asked Spike.
"Because I need to be alone Spike. Shining Armor was murdered a few hours ago."
"Oh no! I'm so sorry Twi..." he said stroking her mane.
"Thanks Spike."
"I wanted to say I found something on your friend there."
"Huh?"
"In this book." He grabbed a big black and gold book from the stool. "It's about myths and legends."
"Read it then."
"Right here. The Painkiller. A savior shall one day fall from the skies with wings of steel and destroy all evil in order to protect the balance of the world. What does balance mean?"
"It means he has to kill good and bad ponies! Oh my... it was him... It was Dustin!"
"Dustin's dead."
"What? Yeah... I shouldn't blame this on him..."
Meanwhile
I walked past a hospital in which I heard groaning from the window. I climbed up to see Rainbow back in the hospital.
"Hey Dash. Hospital again?"
"Yeah..."
"That sucks. Hope you feel better."
"Whatever. I don't need YOUR pity."
"That hurts. Is it because I'm human? You don't trust me do ya?"
"I never said that!"
"You kinda just did."
"Then yes. That's why we all have troubles. Even though you look like a pony now we still see you as a human. A tall ape-thing who only likes to fight."
"Not all humans like to fight Dash."
"Then what do you like?"
"Fighting."
"Erg... See?"
"Nope!"
"Idiot."
"Oh I'm an idiot now? Okay. How about this..." I held out my hand and summoned the newest Daring Do book. "What do you think of this huh?"
"Is that-"
"Daring Do and the Obsidian Orb? Yes. This baby doesn't come out for 5 years. And I'm just gonna sit here and read it as you watch."
"I-I don't like books!"
"Good. Than this won't bother you." I sat down on the window ledge and started reading. I never lost my smile and I even chuckled a few times to make sure she knew I was still interested in the book. You can't just... read and not get into the book... you know?
"Are you done?" asked Rainbow.
"Yep!" I lit the book on fire in my hands and threw the ashes outside the window. "Now I wanted to ask you something."
"What?"
"...Are you a lesbian?"
Exactly 20 seconds later
"WEEEE!!!" she threw me out the window. Or more likely pushed. She couldn't lift me. I weigh 6 tons! I went to land but ended up on my but. I quickly changed to my pony form and got up.
"You okay there pardner?" asked Applejack from behind me.
"Oh yeah!"
"You remind me of a friend I just lost."
"What was his or her name? Was it Abigail? How about Jasper! I'm thinking it involves a D..."
"Dustin."
"Ah... That's a name I think I know."
"You met him?"
"You could... say... that..."
"How's he doing?"
"I don't really know. You just said he was lost."
"Right... So what are you doing now?"
"Well... first I need to write an apology letter and then I need to find a place to crash."
"How about my farm?"
"*gasp* Applejack... That would be great!" I picked her up and started flying for the barn. "This is it right?"
"Yes sir. This is Sweet Apple Acres."
We landed outside in the orchard. It was a great place I'll admit... far greater than anything I deserve. Why is fate so unkind but then decides to offer me the best in life? I wish I knew sometimes... but It'd be best if I didn't.
"If your gonna stay here I expect you to help around the farm."
"Oh no problem AJ. I enjoy doing hard work." I unfolded my armor into a medallion which hung around my neck.
"How did you do that?"
"I'll tell you later. You tell me what I'm doing."
"Your lifting these baskets to the barn." she pointed to the full baskets of apples. I picked them up with ease and started walking to the barn only to have Niko, out of all people, run up to me and start talking.
"What are you doing?!"
"I'm working! AJ is allowing me to crash here."
"You could sleep at the castle!"
"Uh... no I can't. You know... Vinyl and Eden."
"Right. Sorry."
"It's okay." I dropped the baskets and continued to talk. "How's life going Niko?"
"Since you left everything has been nice and quiet."
"Then I guess I shouldn't have come back."
"But you saved us from Chrysalis!"
"And I'm sure David told you what I did."
"Yeah... he did. Why did you do that?"
"It's to regulate order! And if I'm unhappy because the man who murdered me is still breathing then the balance goes all hay-wire!"
"Your linked to it?"
"I am the balance!"
"Oh... that makes more sense. So you have to commit to chaos sometimes?"
"Yeah. Think of me as Batman who will kill."
"Hey you done in there?" asked Applejack.
"Oh yeah! I'll talk to you later Niko."
"Alright take care now." I started to walk to Applejack. "And Grimm!"
"Hmm?"
"Just... be careful..."
"Fine."
The next hours were fun. I didn't know you could have so much fun as a pony on a farm! An apple farm! Earth ponies rule! I mean I know I have wings but... what's the point in work if you don't work hard? Also I don't use magic. Well for one its cheap. And two I don't have a horn anymore. Ponies would freak out if they saw me wielding magic Skyrim style. But it's all cool. My axe can use elements. It says here in this instruction guide! Right here... Chapter 295: Elemental treatments for your weapon.
"Alright we are good to go. Thank you Grimm."
"No worries."
"You'd think with a name like that you'd be all evil and what not."
"Yeah... he he.... right."
"Your welcome to stay here anytime you like. There's a spare bed in the cellar."
"Alright. Much obliged."
I went upstairs to the cellar. It was big and home-y. I didn't have to sleep but... I have nothing to do. With Alpha and the others gone I can't really... sleep now. I don't dream. I have visions. So that's what I do. I predict the future and plan tactics.
The next day
I didn't have a vision. I didn't even sleep. Time just flew by like a wind breeze for me. That's another ability of mine. Time. But I need to be careful with it. One bad use and BLAM-O! It's the end of the world as we know it!
"And I feel fine!" I said to myself dancing to the tune in my head.
"Are you okay there?" asked Applejack walking in the room.
"Yeah. Just seeing if I still got the moves."
"Did you meet all my friends?"
"Uh... no. I visited RD and I help Twilight home because... you know."
"Right. Poor Twi. And poor Cadence." Your not making me feel better AJ.
"It's hard to lose family."
"I know it is."
"Oh well... I'm going to visit some other friends of yours today." I told her. I turned my amulet into it's armor and spread my wings.
"Wait!" I jumped and started flying. "You forgot-" I couldn't hear her voice anymore. Did I forget something? Meh... as long as it wasn't anything important or that reveals my identity.
1 hour later
Instead of going straight to the castle I spent the past hour enjoying my flight and dashing through the clouds. God I missed flying... the freedom and grace from it is life changing. I went to the castle but none of my friends were there. So I went back to Ponyville. I heard laughter and gasping from the Boutique so I went eavesdropping. I hid in the bushes and used my horn to listen.
"Wow... I didn't know he did this kind of stuff." said Vinyl.
"He's a madman."
"If I knew this I would have never slept with him." Ouch. Okay they obviously found out something.
"So this Painkiller... he's been lying all along?" asked Applejack.
"It appears so." said Twilight. "I think he killed Shining Armor!" I knew that was going to bite me in the ass. Right beside the spot where Zeus nailed me. They must have found my journal.
"Look at this last page!" cried Rarity. "It's all bloody!"
"EW!" they said in a group unison. Then I heard Octavia's voice.
"It says... 'Not gonna last much longer. This is the end for me. I wrote this journal entry in about 9 seconds so they wouldn't see me. By they I mean the guards and Shining Armor. They're murdering me so...' It cuts off there. The blood is in the way."
They all remained quiet. Especially Twilight. I used this opportunity to scare them by kicking open the door as hard as I could.
"GIVE IT!" I yelled at them. Some of them tried to run and I used my magic to close all the windows and doors. "No one's leaving!"
"We're sorry!" said Pinkie.
"Don't even start with me." I picked up the journal. "So you know who I am."
"Dustin why didn't you tell us?" asked Vinyl.
"You shut your whore mouth. I heard everything. Miss I should have never slept with him. Hell you cheated on me with myself!" Vinyl stopped talking and lowered her head. Probably so I wouldn't see any tears. I looked over at Applejack. Now that I think about it the only ones I didn't see here are David, Niko, and the princesses. Also Derpy and the Doctor. OR Lyra and Bon-Bon. As well as Colgate and Berry Punch.
"So you took my journal and shared it with the others?" I asked Applejack.
"Y-yes. Sorry."
"*sigh* Now I'm forced to do this." I closed my eyes and held my metal arm out sending a flash of light through everyone knocking them out. It was something I picked up from Men in Black. But it has more of an are affect. "Well that's done." I put my journal in one of my side pockets and closed it this time. I left the room as they all woke up in 2 minutes. I went back to eavesdropping.
"What happened?" asked Twilight.
"We all fainted. Does anybody remember what happened?" asked Rainbow.
"Not at all." said Rarity. Ah... all's good in the life of me.
"What day is it?" asked Pinkie.
"It's Monday I think." said Fluttershy. Uh... it's Saturday. Fuck I erased too much!
I turned invisible so when they walked out they didn't see me. Well... at least I know that Vinyl is a lost cause. Maybe I should go back in time and stop her from getting pregnant. Or maybe I should just punch her in the stomach right now! Blame it on the anti-Christ!
"Ow." said Vinyl falling on one leg. Oh boy... "I think my water broke."
"But it's early!" said Octavia.
"It must not be Monday then. Quick help me." Twilight grabbed her and teleported them all to the hospital.
Oh that's fucking cool. Nice one anti-Christ. Guess it's time to see my baby.
"Where is she?" cried Eden running past me. Shit she scared me. God it sucks being alone and unnoticed. You know what I need... I need companions! And not these ones because they're... meh... dicks.
I went to the hospital and walked in casually. Well not really casually. I had a dance in my step and a beat in my head. I went to the waiting room where I saw the others looking in through the window.
"Hey guys..." I said and they all looked at me crazily.
"Who are you?" asked Pinkie Pie. "You look like that ape-thing we saw at the wedding!"
"Oh... uh... Well... I had better be off." I didn't get to see the baby and oddly enough I didn't want to. I'd rather do some Chaos Theory than get involved in this shit... you know what... I think I will.
Actually... I'm not that good at math. No not at all. I need to find a companion! Also I expect that the girls will remember who I am shortly. I need a companion who can work well with me and do horrible things so I won't have to do it! But who?
Finally got another chapter up. Geez it's getting harder to do but I find a reward in it. My Girlfriend is gone for reals. Yeah. So now I'm just drinking my pain away. I mean it's not that bad. For some people. But for me it's pretty rough. It's also hard to type while half-drunk so make do with what I get. I have to take it slow so I don't make many mistakes.
I jumped through a portal to another dimension. I can't even choose which one I go to. It's kind of like a box of chocolates. You never know what your gonna get.
"Hello?" I asked around. I didn't see any pony around me. Nor human. I don't exactly know where I am. I was inside a building, which is a first for me, and there weren't any lights. I found the door and opened it to see I was in a wasteland. It was Earth. I know because the Statue of Liberty was right beside me with only her head and right arm sticking out of the ground.
"No! They did it! They really did it! God damn you all to hell!"
"Get him!" yelled someone throwing a chain around my feet. I feel down and someone else started driving a motorcycle pulling me through the dunes.
"The fuck are you doing?" I yelled at him.
"Making you my bitch!" he yelled back. I grabbed the chain and turned my body around so I could start climbing. I made my way up to him and rammed my metal arm into his back breaking his spine.
"I'm no man's bitch." I threw the chain off of me and the bike and commandeered the vehicle. It was red and in good condition. I'm keeping this bike. I absorbed the machine and kept it in storage. You see the inside of my head is like a never ending chest. It looks like a room so when I travel I'm inside my head. It's exactly like a Tardis. I opened another portal and found myself in a rainy atmosphere. The town of Ponyville was dark and grim. Hah. That's my name!
"Leave now." said a sad Twilight walking past me. She looked horrible. Like cut up and tired. This is the place I'm looking for! The perfect partner is here! I know exactly the mare I want by my side. Pinkamina Diane Pie! Now I only have to find her...
"Help!" said Pinkamina running past me. She was being hunted down by the police for reasons you don't want to know.
"Here we go!" I picked her up and summoned another portal sending us both to the lounge room in my head.
"Where are we?"
"Inside my head! We're traveling between dimensions."
"Wow. Who are you?"
"I'm the Painkiller. You may call me... Grimm. Or Pain. Or Painkiller."
"Well thank you for helping me Grimm. I am Pinkaminia."
20 minutes later
We had our big conversation and I told her everything I wanted. That I wanted a partner and that I need a good friend who understands as much pain as I do. She's the perfect one.
"That's the most amazing story I've heard Grimm. Or was it Dustin?"
"So you were listening. It's Grimm sweetie."
"Alright. Can we go back to my house for a second? If I'm going with you I want my stuff."
"Sure." We walked to the door of the lounge room and ended up walking into her bedroom. "Here you are."
"That's incredible." She grabbed some duffel bags and filled them up with all her tools and clothes. When she was done we both left.
"So Pinkie. How do you feel about being my companion?"
"Is this what you do for a living?"
"Sort of. I kind of regulate the balance of life between worlds."
"Wow. Sure I'll help you." Oh yeah!
"Alright. Since apparently your wanted dead in your world we will go to my equestria."
"May I ask what species are you?"
"Human. I'm from Earth. Different world. Long story."
"Right. I kind of spaced out on that part of the story." Well... that's Pinkie for you. She slipped on a dark velvet maroon sweatshirt.
"That's a cute hoodie." I told her.
"You think so? I made it out of Berry Punch. The only downside is that it smells like Alcohol, vomit, tears, and shame."
"...Uh...what?"
a few minutes later...
I opened the door and looked around to see we were in the castle. All of my 'friends' were waiting for me.
"Oh boy."
"How dare you!" yelled Twilight.
"Got your memory back?"
"You murdered my brother!" she said with tears.
"Who told you that?"
"Sorry. Celestia read my mind." said David. I flicked him off and turned to see Celestia.
"Oh great. Here comes the lecture Pinkimina." She pulled up her hood and placed her back against the closet door we walked out of.
"Dustin Shafer! How dare-"
"I had a reason. And I'm not really Dustin. In case you haven't noticed that assfuck Shining murdered me!"
"So getting revenge is a good thing Mr. Grimm?" I like that. Mr. Grimm. It seems... so... well, me!
"It is in my books. I did it for the order. You ponies forget your place. You always believe in peace... and you have forgotten Death's touch."
"But... That's not..." Celestia couldn't finish her sentence.
"Look... I'll go and bring him back. So you can all stop bitching about it!" I grabbed Pinkimina and summoned two spades. We went to his grave and started digging.
"Can you reanimate dead bodies?"
"OH I like the sound of that. Reanimate. I like you Pinkie."
"Aw you know how to make a girl blush." We continued to dig until we reached the coffin. We opened it up and pulled out both halves of him. "Huh. So you get creative with your kills?"
"Yeah I do."
"You tied him down and ripped him in half? Nice." Damn. She's good. Probably better than me. We put all his organs in order and stitched his body closed.
"Alright. Ready?" I asked her.
"Sure. I've never seen a real zombie before." I phased my hand through his chest and grabbed his heart sending thousands of bolts of electricity through it. Shortly after he awoke.
"Gah! No! Don't kill me!"
"Hey. I just brought you back to life. Calm the fuck down."
"Pinkie?"
"No. I'm Pinkimina."
"I don't understand." Then all of the ponies ran out to meet me. Were you expecting a hug or something? I wasn't. Instead I got stabbed by Cadence multiple times.
"Die demon!" she yelled piercing me again and again. When she thought I was dead she dropped me. "Good. Shining your back!"
I stayed down. I didn't want to get up. I felt... dead on the inside. That's it. Dead. I know I don't deserve it... but I'm not going to kill a girl because she wanted revenge for Shining. She's just like me by the way. Cleaver Girl.
"Get up." yelled David pulling me up. I healed my wounds and looked at her.
"Don't you ever come back here! Never! You are never welcome here and we won't ever need you!" she grabbed Shining and teleported. I stayed quiet. I watched slowly as my other friends left. Soon it was just me and Vinyl, well, and Pinkimina.
"You heard her. Your not welcome."
"Just like old times..."
"Hehehe... yeah. I'm sorry Dustin. I'm so sorry for what he's done to you."
"I can't even enjoy being a dad now."
"Like Kay?"
"It's deja vu! Oh poor Kay..."
"I thought you said she was a friend. Did you lie to me?"
"She was suppose to be my wife. We were engaged and she was pregnant as well. And I lost that. Just as I did now."
"Look... I can not tell you how sorry I am. Let me touch your face." I unfolded my helmet and got on my knees so she could touch me. "You hide so many secrets behind such a young face. You've seen and done the most unimaginable things and you hide them to protect others. Your always welcome with me Dustin. I pray for a better life for you." she kissed me on the cheek and walked away leaving me with Pinkimina.
"Ouch." she said. "You gonna be okay?"
"I... yeah. In a little bit." I felt like crying. God I did. But from what I've heard crying is a sign of weakness.
"You look like your gonna cry." said Pinkie.
"I think I am."
"It takes a true man to cry." she said pulling me in for a hug. I accepted it and let the tears roll down my face.
2 hours later
We were in the lounge room again. She was enjoying herself as I looked out the window.
"What are you doing?" she asked. Okay I like this Pinkie so much better. She's so calm and I can understand her. "Is there something out there?"
"Only time and space." she walked up beside me and looked at the orange and blue vortexes moved around us. "What do you think?"
"It's beautiful! I've never seen anything like it!"
"And to think... that a world like yours would be the only one you would think about. There are thousands of universes with thousands of planets teeming with life."
"Why wait here when we can see that life?"
"Oh I like you Pinkimina! Then were to?"
"I want to see that planet you came from... Earth was it?"
"Good memory. Yeah it's been a long time since I've been there." I went to the door and opened it. "Here we are... Oh! I need to change your form!"
"Your going to make me human? For how long?"
"How long do you want?" I used my magic to change her form. She was a sort-of tall woman with long pink hair, blue eyes, and her sweatshirt on. However... that's all she had on.
"Gah! I'm naked!"
"Sorry! Go down the hall on your right and you'll find a wardrobe room." She started walking and I couldn't help but check her out. "Hmm... nice butt..."
While I was waiting I switched out of my armor. I can't go around all day looking like a futuristic warrior. I put on a black aerosmith shirt and a brown bomber jacket with some stonewashed grey jeans and white converse with red stars and shoe laces on them.
A few minutes went by until she came out with some blue jeans and a red shirt on underneath a pink sweater. I couldn't tell if she was wearing underwear but I imagine that she was.
"This underwear thing feels great." Huh. I really need to stop calling that.
"Ready to go?" I asked her.
"Yeah!"
We walked out the door to see were in the fields of an Irish farm.
"Ah Ireland. My home."
"It's so... beautiful. People are working together and they look happy!"
"This is a world where everyone knows that hard work pays off. You can just sit around all day with a computer or a phone and pretend to be someone powerful and better than everyone else. That's what kids these days do. No the only people in this world who make a difference are the ones who work for it."
"Well this is wonderful. May I ask you something?"
"Yes?"
"When was the last time you had a hair cut?"
"Hmm?" She showed me a reflection of my self. I had a long brown and white beard and long brown hair.
"Oh god. My hair's brown again. Tell me are my eyes blue?"
"Yes. Like the sky."
"I guess they change when I put on the armor. Alright let's go cut it." We walked inside the portal and after a few minutes of trimming I looked much better. I didn't have a beard but I still had a bit of a shadow. I cut my hair short and styled it so it would stay out of my eyes.
"Pinkie we need to change this." I told her walking outside the portal. "We can't just leave a portal floating about."
"So what do we do?"
"You wait here." I walked inside and found the chameleon circuit. "Aha! I know just the disguise." I walked outside to see Pinkie was amazed by what happened. It was a blue police public call box.
"What is it?"
"It's a call box!"
"No one uses these anymore!" They have those in her world?
"Good point. I'll go change it." I went back inside to find the circuit broken. "Ah... never mind. It's stuck. I like it."
"It's cute."
"Thank you." I handed her a key while keeping one for myself. "Here. In emergencies." I locked it. "Can't have anyone going in here now can we?"
"We can't. Come on show me around!" I grabbed her hand and walked down the road. It was just another memory after another.
"So people are always this peaceful?"
"No. That's the dream though. We always have wars and crime going on. You just need to know where to look."
"Sounds like my kind of people."
"Mine as well. Let's go get some lunch."
"I thought you said you don't need to eat."
"I don't. But I still get hungry."
We found a small restaurant on the edge of town that was cheap.
"Do you have money? I bet your loaded!" said Pinkie.
"Not a penny. But I can do this." I held out my hand and summoned some money. "I just stole this from the national bank. Shh... don't tell anybody."
"*giggle* So what do I eat?"
"Anything you want."
Meanwhile... David's POV
I can't believe what's happening. I need some answers from the ponies.
"Cadence! What's your problem?"
"He killed Shining!"
"And he brought him back! You just stabbed him and exiled him."
"Yes... I did."
"What if we need his help?"
"What are we going to need his help for? Bah! I call nothing!"
"Actually..." said Twilight walking in. "We found this book. It's about him. The Painkiller."
"Oh boy..."
Meanwhile...
We were running down the street from an angry mob.
"What do you mean you insulted his mom?" I asked Pinkie while looking behind me.
"I mean I accidentally insulted his mother!"
"Kill her! Of with there heads!"
"Huh... nice one Pinkie."
"Oh shut it."
Meanwhile...
"So he's suppose to save us?" asked Cadence.
"Yeah... and you just exiled him."
"Well... what is so bad that he needs to come back for?"
Meanwhile outside in the gardens...
"Can any of you kids tell me what Discord is?" asked Mrs. Cheerilee.
"Oh oh me me!" said Applebloom. Well... you know what happens next. Small fight. Manacle laughter. Guess who's back?
Meanwhile...
"Back to the Tardis!" I told her.
"The what?"
"Time and Relative Dimensions in Space!"
"What?"
"The blue fucking box!"
"Oh right!" We ducked as a sickle went over our heads. "Is that a sickle?"
"Afraid so! Keep running!" We got inside the box and locked it behind us.
"They're gonna kill us!"
"What? No. Nothing can get through these walls." We both took a seat and relaxed. "God... so you insulted that man's mom?"
"He called me a harlot!"
"But your not in anyway such a thing! Come on. Time to get you properly equipped." I walked up to the machine in the middle of the room and started putting in inputs.
"Where are we going?"
"We're going to heaven!" I pulled down the leaver and the machine started shaking back and forth. "Yeah! Woo!"
"Your a madman."
"And you aren't?"
"I'm not a man."
"True."
"But I love fun!" She was enjoying it more than me I think. When it stopped and we walked out... well... God was surprised.
"Hello Grimm! Who's this fine beauty?"
"This is-"
"I am Pinkimina Diane Pie."
"Well... that's a name I don't forget. I'm sorry about what happened to your friend. I'm guessing that Grimm here wanted a companion so he chose someone who's a lot like him."
"Is that a problem?" she asked worriedly.
"Not at all. Now I'm sure your not just here to see how I'm doing for my age."
"I brought her here to give her some proper 'equipment."
"Ah. This way my dear." He escorted her to the armory leaving me with Death.
"Hey Death."
"Hello Painkiller. What brings you here?"
"I'm sure you were eavesdropping."
"Aye. That I was."
"It's not all bad."
"I saw what you did. Bringing Shining Armor back to life."
"And even then I got stabbed and thrown away."
"I guess some ponies don't see a hero when they need one."
Pinkie walked out of the armory wearing this red and black leather armor set (Kinda like the Champion's rogue armor from Dragon's Age II.) and she had two dual sided daggers.
"How do I look?" she asked pulling up her hood.
"Like an angel." I was still day-dreaming. Death smacked the back of my head. "I mean you look wonderful!"
"Thanks."
"We'll be off." I told God grabbing her hand and walking back inside the Tardis.
"You might want to go back to your equestria Grimm."
"Why is that?"
"It's in trouble."
David's POV
I was getting ready for bed. Today's been nothing but crazy. Cadence spent all day crying and begging God for forgiveness. I just want some sleep.
"Good night Celestia." I said hugging the woman in the bed with me.
"Good night David."
"I'll see you later." said Luna going outside. I keep forgetting she doesn't sleep at night. Just then we all heard this maniacal laughter.
"MUWAHAHA! How's it going?"
"Discord!" said Celestia snapping up in bed. "How did you get out?"
"You really need to stop letting those kids in the garden." Huh. He's got a point. "I'm just here to get some revenge and take my throne."
"You'll never-" He shot Celestia with a spell turning her back... into... a kid?! What in the world?
"Celestia!" I held the filly in my arms. Oh she was adorable alright but this is bad.
"You can't stop me David. I saw when your friends exiled Grimm. Tough break for the guy. Hope he has fun traveling."
"Shut up. Just shut up!"
"Or what?" Just then Luna walked out. "Hello Luna." he shot her with the same spell before she could attack. "Oh haha! Isn't this fun David? Just you and me!" he walked over and picked up Luna. "Oh who's the cutest filly? You are. Yes you are." She giggled and tried to play with him. "Oh it hurts me to do terrible things to kids but I'll make an exception killing you." She stopped giggling as a blue phone box came crashing through the roof.
"Hey." said Grimm and Pinkie walking out dressed in armor.
Grimm's POV
"David when did you have kids?" I asked him picking up the white filly with a rainbow mane. "Wait a minute... since when do kids get tiaras?"
"Diamond Tiara." said Pinkie.
"Oh right."
"Grimm that's Celestia and Luna!"
"Oh... what?"
"And your next!" yelled Discord shooting David with a spell turning him into a filly.
"What?"
"Now Mr. Grimm. I hope we can work out an agreement. Just imagine it! Two gods ruling the world!"
"That does sound good..."
"Grimm!" yelled Pinkimina.
"I know! Sorry Cord. No deal."
"Then die- Oof!" Pinkie ran up and kicked him in the nuts. "Oh... *wheeze* That's a good kick you got there."
"As you were saying?" I asked him.
"Just let me catch my breath."
Pinkie and I huddled up in the corner to have a private chat.
"Well this is kinda fair." said Pinkie.
"They didn't want my help. I don't think I'm gonna give it to them."
"Are those stab wounds still hurting?"
"Nah."
"That's amazing armor."
"It is isn't it?"
"Are you two done?" asked Discord. I folded up my helmet and watched as Pinkimina sled across the floor dodging one of his spells and cut him across the leg. "Ah you bitch!"
"No one calls me a bitch!" she yelled jumping on his head stabbing him in the arms and back.
"Damn..."
"I could use some help!" she called out for.
"Yeah yeah I'm getting there." He shot her with that spell turning her back into a baby pony. "Or not."
"Now you!" he shot me but the spell bounced off. "Uh..."
"Magic doesn't work on me."
"Why is that?"
"Because I don't believe in it!" I yelled punching him in the face knocking him down. I grabbed a basket and placed the 4 fillies in there gently and wrapped it around my back.
"You give me back those kids!"
"You get an ice pack!"
"For what- Oof!" I kicked him in the nuts. Imagine that. Steel tipped boots. With spikes I might add, hitting him in the family jewels. I wonder how he's taking it. "OW ow ow ow! What's the matter with you!"
"Bye!" I jumped out the window and opened my wings gently landing on the ground. I turned the basket so it was on my stomach so I could talk to the kids. "Can you guys understand me?" I asked while unfolding my helmet.
"Boop!" said Luna booping me on the nose.
"Hehehehe..." I couldn't help but giggle. It tickled! Don't laugh at me! "Do you know how to fix this?"
"I know Discord's magic. This will wear off in a week." said Celestia. "And Grimm... we're sorry."
"So sorry!" said Luna.
"Guys guys... don't be putting those apologies on me. Not right now!" I said jumping over a fire ball. "Is he still after me?"
"No." said David.
I turned around to see the mane 6 and Cadence.
"Oh... that's just great."
"We said to never appear again!" said Cadence.
"Actually that was just you. And let me point out that you have no jurisdiction over me girl!" I said placing my hand on her face. "Now listen. Discord is back and I need to stop him."
"Celestia and Luna and David can do that!" yelled Twilight. I reached into my basket and pulled out the baby Celestia. "Your a dad?"
"Uh... for the time now? Yes. Say hello Celestia."
"Hi!" said the filly waving her arm.
"She's a kid again?" asked Twilight frantically. That's the word I was thinking of! Frantically. It's quite frantic.
"Take them!" said Cadence ordering Rainbow to take the kids.
"Hey that's bad parenting-" I felt a baseball bat hit me on the back of the head. "-Oh... hey... lookie there."
"Why is he still conscious?" asked Applejack.
I turned to see Fluttershy with the bat! Let me say this again. Fluttershy! Of all ponies why was it her that betrayed me? Now I feel bad actually.
"Hi Shy. I like your bat."
"I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me."
"I would never... hate... you kiddo..." I fell to my knees. "That's one hell of a swing you got there..."
"Sorry." said Cadence kicking me in the face trying to knock me out. "Why don't you just pass out?"
"Because I'm use to it..." I got back up. "You girls may interrogate me later. Get those kids to safety."
"Why is there armor and knives in here?" asked Rainbow.
"There Pinkimina's. Don't lost those."
"And what are you going to do?" asked Rarity.
I stood there... on a boulder as the sunset shinned gallantly upon me. The birds were singing and the sky was beautiful. The entire world seemed peaceful as I could hear a soft orchestra playing. I'm sure they could here it as well.
"I don't know." I told them. They all looked at me with there mouths dropped and eyes twitching. I ran into town and grabbed a rope and a swing set. I tied the rope and chain to some trees and started walking backwards.
"You can fly!" yelled Cadence.
"Glad to see your on my side now." I told her.
"Yes. And I'm sorry. I just couldn't handle losing Shining Armor."
"How is he ERG By the way?" I was starting to shake as the tension was building up.
"He's doing better than ever! It's like you fixed all his ailments."
"That's what happens when you die. And I know I can fly but I need the full force of Nature itself to get there!"
"I don't understand."
"Neither do I!" I lifted my legs and sent my self flying. I then collided with the wall a few stories below Discord's position. "Ow..."
"*giggle* Good luck!" yelled all the girls.
"Stop laughing at me!" I placed my hands on the wall like Spider-man and started walking up.
Inside the office
The receptionist was answering phone calls.
"Canterlot Castle. Please hold..." Beep. "Canterlot Castle. Please hold... GAH!" She looked at the strange figure outside the window. It stopped and waved at me. "Guards! Guards! Help!"
Outside
"Hahaha... I scared her." I kept on climbing until I reached the top. Discord was sitting in the throne wearing a crown.
"Ah... my favorite warrior. Here to join me at last."
"I'll think about it. Had to drop the kids off at day care."
"And how did they feel about it?"
"They feel like they want to murder a certain God."
"Ah that's the spirit!" He drank the glass of his chocolate milk and threw the liquid out the window blowing it up.
"No way! Exploding Chocolate milk?! I'm gonna try that one day..."
"Ah! A man of art!"
"That was beautiful..." I looked outside to see the cotton candy clouds and the town changing into a crazy hell.
"Alright. Ready to fight?"
"Oh you know it!"
"I like your attitude Grimm. Engarde!" He drew a rapier and I drew my axe cutting it in half. "I need that..."
"No you don't!" I placed the Separator on my back holding my fist up. "We fight like men."
"Do you think I'll play fair!" He yelled forcing the marble on the floor to turn into spikes and stab me. "Come now!" He summoned an ice barrier. "I saw the future you by the way."
"Oh so did I."
"He was the Avatar!"
"Avatard. I hate that show."
"Huh. That's... weird. Can you get through my shield like him?"
"Didn't he just get beheaded?"
"Yeah. Answer my question."
"Yes!" I shot thousands of missiles from my body. The first one hundred destroyed the barrier. All the others hit him. Somehow he still lived.
"*cough cough* That's does it!" Oh he looked pissed. He grabbed me and slammed me against the wall multiple times and grabbed a sword. "Did you know Celestia keeps this sword behind her chair?"
"I did not."
"She used it on me. I remember how bad it 'burnt.' I think you will know as well."
"A fire swo-" I felt the blade come down on my neck removing my head.
"Aha! I did it! The angel of death has fallen!"
2 minutes later... Third person POV
Discord broadcasted on ever channel and live. He forced us all to watch his speech. Even David and the other kids watched.
"Hello my fellow Equestrians! You will all obey me now. Not even your precious Painkiller could stop me!" he yelled while holding up Grimm's helmet with his head inside. I know it was inside because blood was pouring out. "Now can you -OW!"
Grimm's helmet unfolded showing he had fangs and sharp teeth. He was biting Discord so he would drop him.
"Get off me you bastard!" he yelled. Grimm's body stood up from behind and grabbed Celestia's Sun sword. When he impaled Discord it was... glorious!
Grimm's POV
He dropped my head and tried to pull out the sword.
"Ow. Watch where you drop me." I said picking up my head and placing it back on my neck. The bone and skin quickly reattached.
"You bastard! You can't kill me!"
"Oh but I can. I'm a god as well. The God of Pain and Death!"
"No..."
"And I control Chaos!" I pulled all the magic power out of him. "You will know fear for the last time." I unfolded my helmet. "Look into my eyes..." I gave him the dreaded Penance Stare making him see all of his sins and crime. He screamed and yelled unto his eyes were charcoal-ed black.
"People of Equestria! You are free!" I yelled making everyone cheer. Then all of my friends ran up and hugged me. Even Cadence and Shining Armor.
"You are always welcome here." said Cadence. I grabbed the young Pinkimina who had curly hair.
"Pinkimina? Why is your hair like that?"
"They left me with Pinkie Pie! Get me away from her!" she yelled as I pulled her into my arms.
"Oh that's funny. Alright line the kids up I think I can reverse the spell."
"How do you know that?" asked Twilight.
"I took all of his powers." He was still crying and his eyes were reopening.
"You'll never defeat me!" I turned the kids back into there original forms except Pinkimina who was human again.
"Uh Pinkie. Naked." I handed her the armor and knives. David walked over to Discord and was pissed. "David? Hey. I'm talking to you!"
"BACK OFF!" he pushed me back. "Discord you have made me mad for the last time. I will never forgive you!"
"And what? Your going to kill me?"
"Yes!" Discord stopped smiling and watched as David turned into his Alicorn form with fire burning in his eyes.
"That's new..." I told him.
"Shut up!"
"Okay..." [You'd think he'd be more happy.] <You did save the day Dustin.> "Where did you guys come from?" <Sorry I meant Grimm.>
"Hi." said Eden.
"Hey Eden. How's life?"
"It's great! Look." She held up her hoof showing a golden bracelet.
"Uh..." I looked over at Vinyl's hoof. Same bracelet. "Your engaged! Oh that's wonderful!" I picked her up for a hug.
"I said SHUT THE FUCK UP!" yelled David.
"Alright man. Watch your tone. You haven't killed him yet so I don't think you have-" He slammed his hoof into Discord's head blowing it up and splattering me with blood. "It... in... you. Hmm."
"I need to be alone." he said walking away. I was the only person who got drenched in blood.
"Ew. Ew. Ew." I said every time I tried to wipe it off. "What's his problem?" I asked Celestia.
"He's just under a lot of stress."
"He just killed somebody! You yelled at me when I did that!"
"Your a different story."
"So it's okay for him to-"
"Discord deserved it! Wouldn't you agree? He cost you your first life and he cost you Kay and your second life. And here you are not even think about it? What about Forest and Sky? Were they not your friends?"
"They were my best friends Celestia." She closed her mouth immediately. "Do you know what I would do the get them back? They don't even remember me. I don't have a thing left. Yeah Discord may have helped with it but he didn't cause it. It was me. It was always me."
"Explain."
"The time paradoxes. The travels. Hell even when I saved Dr. Zephyr I ended up regretting it."
"Grimm... I'm..."
"You didn't expect me to forgive Discord?" I said pointing at the body. "I showed him all of his sins. I could have changed him! Turned him into a good god! David just killed him and here you are justifying murder!"
"And you haven't murdered?"
"No I have. And I'm still paying for it." Pinkimina walked out fully dressed. "Come on Pinkie." I grabbed her hand and walked for the Tardis.
"Grimm! Wait please!" said the princess. "I'm so sorry! Come back!"
"I'll be back when you need me." I told them. "Oh Celestia... I looked into your future. Two dates you should remember. First is June 30th. My birthday. It's been a long time since I've celebrated it and I want to do it with you guys. Second. Remember July 8th."
"What happens then?"
"You'll become a very happy pony." I walked inside the Tardis and cut it on. They all waved goodbye as we left.
"Did I miss something?" asked Pinkie.
"Yeah you did. It'd be better if you didn't know what happened."
"That was fun!"
"I know right!"
"Where to next?"
"I was thinking of paying the candy kingdom a visit."
"Uh I hate sweets."
"...I love you."
Awesome chapter right? Took a few days to think it up but I did it! Yeah! Not yeah but YYYYEEEEAAAAHHH! Like Roid Rage! That was the funniest part of 'Hurricane Fluttershy' in my taste.
"Shoot Pie." I said while stomping the tiny gingerbread house.
"Don't you get in trouble?"
"For what?"
"Misuse of power."
"What? Pfft... No I don't."
"Are you sure?"
"...I... don't know." I finished kicking the house looked around. The entire world was scared as two large giants came out of a flying blue box and began stomping on their homes.
"But I mean did you or did you not misuse the power of balance?"
"Pinkie why do you have to be so smart?"
"So your gonna get in trouble?"
"Probably." Just then she and I and the Tardis were teleported to Heaven. "Great."
"Grimm. What the hell man?" asked God. "We are having some issues here. One. You bring back Shining Armor."
"Do you know how hard it was to get his soul back?" asked Death.
"Two. You terrorized the entire Candy Kingdom?"
"Actually that was pretty funny." said Death.
"Shut it!"
"So what's my punishment."
"Well I'm not going to take away your powers. No. I'm going to give you hell for 10 hours." He pointed to the movie theater. "In you go."
I walked in and took a seat in the front chair. I was surrounded by drinks and food. I heard the doors close and lock.
"I don't get it. How's a movie my punishment?" Just then the projector cut on and I saw Fluttershy. "Oh hey! Yeah! That's what I'm taking about! We all love Fluttershy!"
Just then she started crying.
"What? OH no.... No not this! Not again! This is a sin! It's a sin!" I couldn't help but cry. "Why?"
10 hours later
I walked out of the theater still eating my pop-corn.
"*sniff* Why would you play that?"
"To teach you a lesson."
"It's not right. That was horrible God." I continued to eat.
"Your eating a lot of pop-corn."
"I eat when I get sad."
"I got to go shopping!" said Pinkie walking in with Death beside her. She had a bunch of bags with him. "Jeez you look horrible! What happened?"
"I...don't even care anymore."
"Are you going to misuse your power again?" asked God.
"Never. I don't want you to ever do that again."
"Yes or No."
"No."
"Then we're off to a good start."
"You call that a good start?!"
"So tell me what exactly happened down there Grimm."
"Well... Discord got out. David turned to a cold bad-ass. He killed Discord."
"David got him?"
"I tried to change Discord to a good god."
"Ah The penance stare! You've been reading your instruction manual?"
"I've read each chapter a good 10 times."
"So you know your limits?"
"Pretty much."
"I made you watch that pony cry 10 hours for nothing then. My apologies."
"Meh... I got over it."
"So you didn't stop him?"
"I tried to talk him out of it and he retaliated by killing him on the spot. Then he just walked off!"
"That doesn't sound good. Why don't you go and fix that problem. Death we have a game of chess to finish."
"But you always win!" said the reaper.
"Yeah... but I can lose as well."
"Really?"
"But you have to be really good. I think you can learn from this Grimm."
"I play life like a chess board. You need patience Death."
"Then let's see you beat him." he said standing up. I moved the bishop forward left blocking his knight and rook and I took my knight and got his king.
"Checkmate." They both looked at me surprised. "What?"
"Well played." said God.
Pinkie and I both went back to the Tardis and began our travel.
"Pinkie I want to show you something." I said taking her to the movie theater inside the Tardis.
"A movie?"
"No it's what happened when I was inside Static. You see I wasn't him but I was locked away inside of him."
Beginning Recording Playback...
I was in a small glass dome in a black room.
"Let me out of here!" I yelled knocking on it. All I could see was a window. "Is that me? Why the fuck am I a pony!"
"You seem a little younger." said Pinkie.
"Apparently I was 17." I told her.
The window showed the orange pony kissing Twilight.
"Why the fuck am I kissing a pony? This can't be right. Did I get high? No I don't do drugs. Well I do... but cigarettes can't do this. Aw fuck their fucking!" The young me shielded his eyes. "This is so wrong... WTFuck!"
Later...
"*sigh* I give up... Hmm? Who's that? Kay? KAY! KAY!" I broke out of the glass and got control of Static.
"So that's what happened." asked Pinkie.
"Pretty much."
"It was like that with me. I was in the back of Pinkie and when Rarity died... I got out. I didn't even mean to murder other ponies... but I couldn't stop."
"Don't worry. We can stop you killing them."
"Can we?"
"It might fuck up time but yeah we can."
"Will I be erased?"
"Most likely."
"Can we hold up on that?"
"I'd recommend that."
"So what do we do now?"
"Now we visit David. See what his deal is."
"That was weird of him to freak out like that."
"You know him?"
"No. But he doesn't seem like that kind of pony." Hmm... He just might be showing his humanity. Best not to tell her that.
"Right."
"Say I never asked but where is your armor?"
"It's in the cleaners over there." I said opening the door and watching the robots scrub out the blood and stains of my armor. "See?"
"What are those?"
"Robots."
"Did you think these up as well?"
"No I made them." The smallest one turned to face me. "Like for example this is Atom. He's my little helper."
"That's right master!" he said happily.
"Wow. How do you build these?"
"Some metal, circuit boards, and some magic and Wholah!"
"You said you didn't believe in magic."
"Well technically it's not magic. It's power generated from my life span. And since I can't die."
"Never ending... power..."
"Jackpot."
"Isn't that a curse as well?"
"Yeah... but it's a fun curse! Come on let's visit David!" I started playing with the Tardis and pulled some levers. We stopped at the castle (this time without causing a mess) and ended up in my old room. I opened the door and poked out my head to see Vinyl and Eden in bed... well... playing. "Hello ladies!"
"Get out!" yelled Vinyl throwing a pillow. Then her baby started crying. "Aw... look what you did! I just got her to sleep!"
"Sorry." I moved the machine to the royal bedroom. "David?"
"Yeah?" he asked turning around. "Grimm!" He yelled standing up and giving me a hug.
"Aha! How have you been man?"
"Good. Oh uh sorry about... yesterday. I was kind of mad because of the whole kid changing thing."
"There was more to it."
"There was. It'd be best for our friendship if I didn't discuss it with you. Hello Pinkimina."
"Hello."
"David you need to tell me."
"I can tell anyone but you." he said walking away. That's just mean.
"Well he's a butt-face." said Pinkimina.
"Yeah but... he's a good butt-face. Something's obviously eating away at him."
"What day is it?"
"It's June 3rd." I saw David close the door to his bedroom. "David? Open up?"
"Never!"
"Don't worry Pinks. I can get us in."
"With what?"
"Well I could always chop it down. No my metal arm allows me to control sonic waves. That's how I'm able to change it's frequency and change it's form."
"So you can open it?"
"I can open any door as long as it's not deadlocked." I held my hand against the wall and emitted the sonic noise unlocking it. I opened the door and walked slowly to David. "Now listen to me and listen good because-"
"BBBLLLEEAAAHHHH!" said a puking noise from the bathroom.
"Is someone in there? Celestia?"
"Yes?" asked the voice. "I'm sorry but I'm not feeling well."
"She's been vomiting every morning now for a week Grimm." said David. "I didn't want to tell you what's wrong with me because you know it better than anyone else here."
"You got Princess Celestia pregnant? Oh good job lad!" I yelled picking him up for a hug. "Oh this is just great! I bet the kid's going to be an alicorn."
"Don't freak me out enough as it is."
"Right. What do you think of this Pinkimina?"
"That's just wonderful! I'm so happy for you!"
"What do you think Grimm?"
"I think you about to get hitched." I reached deep into my pocket and pulled out a golden bracelet with a diamond orb. I had never made anything more beautiful than this. "Take this and give it to her on... I'd say about... July 8th. That sounds good."
"Where did you get this? I'm not giving this to her if you made it! No offense."
"Hehehe... no none taken. This was the bracelet I gave to Kay. I'm... giving it to you."
"But... Grimm I could never take-"
"Shh... just do it for me. She would be happy to see this."
"And you said you were the God of Pain and Death. I think that was a lie. You only make people's lives better."
"But David... what about when I killed Shining?"
"You brought him back to life and saved us again! You need to stop being evil dude. It really doesn't work out with you."
"I... Thanks David."
"No prob." He hid the ring in his bedside table and help Celestia when she got out of the bathroom. She did look just a bit bigger but only someone like me could tell because I remember every single inch.
"Pinkie why are you so quiet."
"Because..." she looked at me with tears. "I'm admiring you." she said jumping up and hugging me.
"Oh... don't do that."
"Grimm!" yelled Celestia running over and hugging me.
"What did I say?"
"I'm getting in on this!" yelled David. He jumped in and pulled us all together. I folded up my helmet so they wouldn't see me cry. I don't think David looked on the inside of my ring. It was my favorite bible verse.
'But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. - GALATIANS 5:22-23'
How I got that entire thing on one piece of jewelry is my secret. Don't tell David but I did make it.
"What about Luna?" he asked.
"Oh... I uh... didn't think about Luna. Pinkie we are going hunting!"
"What about Luna?" asked Celestia.
"We were going to get her... some... candy."
"Oh she just loves treats!" said Celestia happily.
"I remember the cavities..."
"What was that?"
"We are going canoeing!" I grabbed Pinkie. "We'll be back in a bit."
"You seem in a lighter mood." said Pinkie. "It really suits you."
"Thank you Pinks." we ran inside the Tardis and I pulled up the treasure map.
"You have a map of all the treasure in the universe?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
"What's your point?"
"You don't go hunting?"
"I might as well give someone else a shot. I mean it's not fair if one man has all the treasure and everyone is just looking for an I.O.U. note. You tell me that's fair."
"It is. You found it."
"I... huh. I'm going to take your word for it." I started going through the maps. "Thor's hammer. Celestia's battle armor. The thong of love?"
"The what?"
"The tho- I'm might get you that later."
"The what?"
"Nothing. Let's see here... hmm... Aha! The bracelet of the moon dancer! Once in legend there was a spirit that conjured the moon. Every night she danced and showed her beauty through the stars. Then one day a group of evil men took her and everything she held close. They did horrible things to her but she never gave them her bracelet. Okay I'm going to cut in and say this is a double negative. They took everything but she never gave them the bracelet. Who wrote these?"
"Finish the story."
"Fine. One day they cut off the hand of the bracelet and removed it from her ownership. She immediately withered and died turning into stardust. The bracelet shot up into the sky and returned to her home and locked itself into a tomb which is waiting for a beautiful woman to take it. Only one with the moon may use it. What does that mean?"
"That Luna can use it."
"No. Does it mean that only Luna can touch it? I don't want to be space dust Pinkie."
"You can't die!"
"Oh... then we're good."
A few more minutes of traveling and we made our way to a jungle. We had to switch clothes to safari hunters! Well... we didn't have to but it just settled the mood.
"So you don't wear your armor in hot places?" asked Pinkimina.
"Well it keeps me cool in the hot and hot in the cold."
"Then why aren't you wearing it?"
"The robots won't let me. It's not 'super duper amazingly clean yet.' God the nerve."
"Make better robots."
"Oh I will. As soon as we get back I'm making the Crow and Tom Servo from MST3K."
"What?"
"Mystery Science Theater 3000."
"Never heard of it."
"Boo. Boo on you." I said continuing to slash with my machete through the forest.
"I think your holding that map upside down."
"No I'm no- Oh hey I'm holding the map upside down." Hmm. Look at that. "It says go 5 paces left, do a back flip, then run ahead for a good minute till you get to the temple."
"That temple there?" She said pointing to the Mayan-like temple.
"That's the one!" I told her doing a back-flip. Then I ran ahead to it. "Nice eye Pinkie Pie."
"Don't go there."
"Pinkimina. There happy?"
"Yeah I am."
"Great!" we walked up the stairs and inside. "Okay we need to be careful."
"Traps?"
"I've seen enough Indiana Jones to know where these traps are usually hidden." I stopped her from walking. "See that tile there? Trap that releases a boulder."
"How do you know that?" I pointed to the large boulder above us. "Oh."
"Next we start crawling." I told her while making her go prone. "Because in a few seconds the arrows start shooting."
"I don't see any-" All the arrows on the walls started shooting and we stopped moving. "GAH! Stop being right!"
"If that's your problem then your not going to like what's next. Snakes." A giant trap opened up in front of us and thousands of snakes tried to bite at us.
"Ah! Snakes! Help!" she said backing up in my arms. I still got it.
"You shouldn't be complaining! I have toxiphobia!"
"But you can't die!"
"Stop saying that! I know I can't but do you know how hard it is to get poison out of you? Hmm? Very!"
"What happens if you don't?"
"It hurts when you pee."
"You have to pee poison?"
"Did. Trust me. Don't get bit. I'm not a vampire that can suck it out."
"You have fangs!"
"I do? Hmm." I started rubbing my teeth. "Interesting. Come on now!"
"What kind of moon dancing spirit lives in the forest?"
"This one!" I said ducking under an axe. "Pinkie stop walking!" she followed my command immediately. "Turn around slowly."
"Is there something on me?"
"Walk to me as slow as you can." she slowly walked backwards in a straight line. "Good. That's my girl."
"What's on me?"
"Now turn around." she did so revealing a gigantic tarantula. It was the size of 4 human heads! I kid you not. I grabbed a sharp stick and stabbed it lifting it high in the air away from her. "Were you bit?"
"By what? AH!" she screamed when she saw the spider. "That's so gross! Keep it away!"
"Nu uh." I held it towards her. "Get running Pie!"
"No! HAHAHA! That's so disgusting! Grimm I'm going to kill you!"
"No your not! I can hear you laughing! Keep running!" I continued to chase her in a circle with the spider.
"Hahahaha!"
Meanwhile... at this exact time... in a world far far away... Star Ponies!
"Best movie ever." said Niko as we walked out of the theater. "I figured it would just be some shitty movie like Star Wars but I was so wrong!"
"I figured. Not much of a sci-fi pony."
"How could you of all people say that?" asked Niko.
"I'm saying I liked it! But... I have something else on my mind."
"What could that possibly?"
"I'm going to ask both princesses to marry me."
"David that's... wow. That's wonderful!"
"Thanks Niko."
"I mean they're not as good as my Octavia but hey two princesses. I wander how Du- I mean Grimm feels."
Meanwhile... this meanwhile is in bold! Do you see it? Oh my... the author is getting creative folks!
"Gah! NO!" I was against the door as Pinkimina held me back with the spider in her hands.
"I don't care if it's dead. I will make you eat it."
"No! You can't! That's looks horrible!"
"Fine but you owe me." she threw the bug away and we both entered the next room. The bracelet laid there on it's pedestal being wrapped in the warm and amazing beauty of the moon light. Oh what a beauty.
"Ah... the traveler and his companion dare come and take my bracelet." said a calm and beautiful voice.
"Hello! What's your name sweetie?" I asked the blue spirit circling us.
"I am Elegant Shade. And this is all I have left."
"Left of who? May I ask."
"Left of the mare I loved."
"You loved a mare?"
"Yes. Is that a problem?"
"No. Not at all with me. Who was she? Wait... moon. Was your lover Princess Luna?"
"She wasn't my lover but yes. We could never be together. I had my life taken away."
"Well... listen! Hey! I'm getting this bracelet for her! I have a bad-ass friend who's going to get married to her and I wanted to get this bracelet!"
"I see. That's wonderful news. That the one most beautiful mare is getting married. May I ask but what is the name of this pony?"
"David."
"I've never met anyone like him. What year is it?"
"20...12? I think."
"Ah... well I will allow you and your friend to take this on one condition."
"What might that be?"
"I want to kiss the princess." Pinkie and I looked at each other.
"Um... well... Your a ghost. Just go over there and kiss her."
"I can't. She won't ever know it."
"Then... oh! Posses Hindsight!"
"Who?"
"David. Just posses him and spend the day with her. He won't mind."
"Are you sure?"
"No. But that's the fun part!" she went inside the bracelet.
"I shall take your word for it traveler." I grabbed the bracelet and stuffed it in my pocket.
"She's happy. Do you think it will work?"
"Are you kidding? Get this to David and she can take care of the rest. Hmm... Elegant Shade. I think I've heard that name before."
"Have you?"
"No. No I haven't. But it has that ring to it. Like a name we should all know."
"It does. Shame she died." we continued to talk while walking back to the Tardis.
"Well I'm making two... no three ponies happy."
"All at the cost of your day."
"Yeah... but we had fun."
"I'm tired. I honestly need a nap."
"Alright. There's a bed beside the gym which is beside the la-"
"I know where it is." She ran up and kissed me on the cheek. "Good night."
"Still got it." I said to myself. Then I heard a ding. I went to the cleaners and saw my robots lined up happily.
"We finished your armor sir!" said Atom. I looked at the shiny marvel before me. It was beautiful.
"Nice work people!" Yes I treat my robots like humans. They should be. I gave them emotions and hope. "Very nice." I took off my safari clothes and threw them in the laundry bin. I slept on the armor and got comfortable. "Ah... the armor built for comfort."
"Ahem." said Atom.
"Fine." I picked up my clothes and folded them. "Oh! Can't forget you!" I placed Shade deep into my pocket so I wouldn't lose her. I continued to fold my clothes when I saw a face on the screen beside me. It had no sound but mouthed my name for a second before disappearing. Huh. Looked like Kay. But that's impossible. I went back to the control machine and went to my Equestria.
"Ah... home!"
Oddly enough I was in Ponyville. And to top it off I saw more ponies then ever before.
"Hmm?" I looked at all of them. Each one looked... like... something a brony would dream up of. Not a single one of them could have been born like the way they look. They're dressed and unique. Every single one of them. I went back inside the Tardis and moved it to the alley behind the bar. I could use a drink... but first I need to make a drop-off. I opened my wings and flew to the castle faster than. 'Hey I bet you can't eat that red hot chili pepper!'
"David." I asked appearing at his window. I opened it and walked inside. I found him reading a newspaper.
"Oh Grimm! Hey! You made it!"
"Hey. Did you see the new ponies in town?"
"No."
"Actually they're in Ponyville. David I think we have a human problem. But it's cool. Anyways listen! I got you this!" I held the Lunar bracelet for him to see. (Ah? See what I did there? Lunar? It's for Luna? Oh that's a classic.)
"Wow... it's as beautiful as her." he walked away and placed it in his table. He didn't see the blue spirit behind him that took control of him. "Huh. What a fine body. You didn't say he was an Alicorn."
"Sorry."
"It's okay Grimm. Now tell Luna to meet me. I must meet her now!"
"Okay..."
I walked outside and found the pony using her telescope. She was looking at the constellations over the sunrise.
"*yawn* Hello Angel of Mystery." said the pony.
"Hehe... hey David want's to see you."
"Oh! I know what he wants!" she ran past me and into the bedroom closing the door behind her.
"I... uh... g-great! Oh good job Grimm!" I could hear a bumping noise from the room. "Oh... I thought she wanted a kiss. Hmm. I was cheated again. David's not gonna like this when he wakes up." I turned invisible. "So it'd be best if he couldn't see me." I walked along side the wall. Like literally on two feet. "I need to change to a pony in case I meet any new humans."
I switched to my four-legged form again and unfolded my helmet. I need to think this through. Yeah I just gave him the best wedding ring/bracelet ever! But will Shade take advantage of this? And technically isn't this adultery? What have I done... Oh well! Nothing a quick drink from that Brewer pony who called me 'cat' can't fix. That was the coolest pony ever.
"Oh la la la... I'm walking to town... la la la... gonna get around... da da da... just helped a ghost who was sick... na na na... now she's gotta dick!"
"What are you singing?" asked Celestia tending her garden. She wasn't wearing her jewelry. *gasp* No way! They do get days off! Oh! I so called that!
"Celestia? Are you on a free day?"
"Yes I am. First day in ages. It's a special day."
"What day is today the third?"
"Yes. On this day my father and mother gave their lives to save the land."
"That's really... oh... wow. Your mom and dad sacrificed themselves?"
"Yes. What's wrong with creating a peaceful land watched everyday with a sun and moon?"
"I thought you were your own mom and dad. Like Adam and Eve. You know. Made from clay and what not."
"No I must assure you I am not made from clay."
"Sorry. I would have loved to meet them. The great parents of the sun and moon. That only leaves... earth and space..."
"Yes! That's what they controlled and their powers went to us. Your smarter than you look."
"Yeah I am... hey!"
"*giggle* You do know how to make a woman laugh."
"Well if you weren't once evil nor dating a friend of mine then I would ask you out on a date."
"And you know how to make a woman blush." she had a mad red blush on her face. Still got it! Yeah!
"Well... I want to ask you something. Do you know about those new ponies in town or not?"
"No I don't. Is something wrong?"
"Well we have a lot of humans here now. In pony form. And it is 2012. I can only guess whats happening on one of the Earth dimensions."
"What do you mean?"
"Well you know how there are many Equestrias? There are many Earths. In one of them the doomsday clock hit and the world blew up with a bang."
"I don't understand."
"Nuclear warfare."
"That's horrible!"
"I know! It's so stupid!"
"Well let them come. The more the merrier."
"Don't say that. These are bronies. God knows what horrible sins are being done as we speak."
"And you?"
"A recovering brony."
"Oh Ahahaha..."
"It's always a laugh with you isn't it?"
"It is." We both looked up and saw a blue dash across the skies. "What was that?"
"A spirit of the moon."
"Did something happen?"
"Yeah. Something good did happen."
"You know your not that evil."
"Hmm?"
"I mean you may come off as threatening sometimes but you called yourself the God of Pain and Death when you fought Discord. Yet you didn't kill him. You've really changed."
"Thank you Celestia. That means something."
"Oh I'm sure it didn't mean anything."
"You'd be surprised."
"Anyways... do you know why David's been so secretive lately?"
"He's just stressed like you said. But we are all happy and okay so just give him some time and things will work out for the best."
"Alright. Thank you Painkiller." she turned around and continued to water her garden. I went to Ponyville for a drink but when I got there... I didn't want one. Honestly I just don't want to go and drink my pain away because I don't have any regrets!
"What is that mommy?" asked a baby girl behind me. I turned around to see Vinyl.
"Hello Vinyl! Eden!"
"Hi Grimm. See your a pony again." said Vinyl. "Meet your daughter. We named her Free Melody after you."
"Uh... well I'm flattered but why?"
"You love music and your free spirited!" said Eden. "I can see you blush."
"Stop it ha ha ha!" I couldn't help but laugh when she played with my face. It was like getting in a playful slap fight with your kid sister and you get way into it that you never want to quit. I looked at the baby and booped her on the nose making her giggle hysterically. "Yeah she's my kid alright. Only a Shafer loves being booped on the nose like that."
"That doesn't mean anything!"
"Boop!" I touched Eden's nose making her giggle. [You got to admit. He's got a point.] <How is that our kid? She looks a lot more like Vinyl!> "You'd be surprised about how genetics work." said Eden. "So how's Pinkie?"
"Oh well... you know... poor thing wore herself out so she's sleeping."
"With what?" asked Vinyl. "Wore herself out with what?"
"Just traveling I guess." I honestly don't know what's up. I mean she is human now and it is the beginning of the month. One could only guess what time it is... And no. It's not adventure time. It's 'Hey! Go to that gas station down the street and get me some tampons!' time. And I am not going there.
"Well have a good one!" said Vinyl waving as they walked away. They decided to leave when I was daydreaming? What a bunch of jerks! No. I actually don't blame them. Who wants to know what I am thinking of?
"You too!" I waved happily. I did feel happy. That's odd considering my placement with the universe.
I thought about that bar again... and how I promised myself to never drink again. I may be many things. I am not a person who lies for fun, but only to protect the truth. I am not a rapist. I don't do anything to offend someone's personal life. I have never beat up someone just for fun. I do have pancake mix. I am not the weakest link...
2 hours later...
...Captain crunch is still the best cereal. Especially the peanut butter kind. Hawkeye is the best superhero from the Avengers. Why you ask? Because when they were all in the armory he was like 'Yeah? You got your iron suit and you got your magic hammer? Oh that's cool. Tell you what guys. I'm going to use this bow. Yeah don't worry about me. What was that? Yeah I know how to shoot a bow. It's simple. Pull and let go. I don't need any help either.' See? He's like the bravest and coolest one of them.
"Hey. What are you doing?" asked Pinkimina.
"Huh?"
"You haven't moved for like... 2 hours!"
"I was thinking about something."
"You are so awkward!" she said playfully hitting my arm. She turned to a pony again. How? How did she do that?
"How did you... turn pony again?"
"It just happened. Why?"
"Alright. Pinkimina stay close to me. There are humans in this town now. Bronies. I don't one of them to kidnap you and take the cupcakes thing way to far."
"I like cupcakes. So someone's going to take me and give me cupcakes?"
"No. They will... how do I put this gently? They will bake you into a cupcake." She looked horrified.
"Why would they do that?!"
"I... pfft... I really don't know man." I turned around for a second. "But as long as I have you in my sights your safe. Right?" I turned to see that she was gone. "P-pinkie? Pinks? Woo-hoo! Yo! Hey Pinkie!"
Are you kidding me? Why... erg... why do people insist on pissing me off? Don't they know it never works out for them in the end?! I will find these ponies and I will do a great harm upon their heads! Mark my words! Justice! That or I'll just pick up this note they dropped on the ground.
'Dear Mr. Grimm, (Hey that's me!)
You have interfered with our order for the last time. On our behalf and the behalf of the rest of the order of chaos we have taken your dearest friend. Come meet us at the lake at sunset. Alone. If not then we start doing... things... to Pinkimina Diane Pie.'
XOXXXOOOXXO.'
"What kind of murderer leaves hugs and kisses at the end of his death note? This guy has issues." I looked around to see Pinkie was still gone. "Oh right. Kidnapped." Well... honestly I don't know what to say at this time except for one thing. One important detail describing this entire ordeal in 3 words. "*sigh* Fuck my life."
Is my life so unfair that even my companion has to pay for it? Really? Order of chaos? I mean I didn't kill Discord this fucking time! So cut me some slack karma system!
"*sigh* Guess I'm waiting..." I had to stop and look at the clock. "5 hours. Right?" I looked to see Pinkie was still gone. "*sigh* I hate being alone."
"Hey mister!" said Scootaloo below me. She might not recognize me as a pony wearing armor with black hair and orange eyes. Honestly how many damn times will I have to change my appearance? I'm done! This is the last time! "What are you doing?"
"I'm waiting."
"For what?"
"Something interesting to happen."
"Well it's probably better than my day."
"You recognize me don't you?" I asked her.
"Of course I do!" Wow. That just brought a tear to my eye. She really is an angel.
"Well what have you done today?"
"I tried being a musician, a construction pony, a bank pony, and a mail pony! I still don't have my cutie mark!"
"I'm so sorry. Keep on trying kid."
"But with what? What's your talent?"
"My talent is my ability to get anyone to follow me, to help me, or to change someone. Like on Earth I converted about... 40 kids to become bronies."
"What's Earth and bronies?"
"I'll tell you later. Your good on your scooter aren't you?"
"Yeah I am!"
"Then try that. Try other vehicles. Maybe you'll be a street racer. Oh that would be so cool!" Oh I'm starting to daydream again. Need to focus! FOCUS!
"Thanks Mr. Shafer! Ms. Vinyl wanted me to tell you something."
"What was that?"
"She said you aren't alone. Whatever that means." I dropped my smile and looked at her with confusion and shock. "Alright bye!"
"Yeah... bye..." What is Vinyl not telling me? It's like when I thought I saw Kay for a second. Don't tell me my past is coming up to haunt me. Oh that's the one thing I hate the most. A revelation. But if I'm going to be a god I guess I need to sometime.
4 hours later
Time flew by and I began my walk for the lake. They didn't say which lake so I'm afraid I might have to try them all. What I'm scared of mostly is that I'll be late and Pinkie will be injured. I can't live with that on my conscious. Well I can... but she can't and if I know that my friend is in pain because of me then I'll feel it.
"Hello!" said a voice behind me. I turned to see Shining Armor and Cadence shopping.
"Hey guys! How's the stitches going Shining?"
"Oh they don't hurt. Honestly I think you did me a favor."
"How so?"
"You opened my eyes. What I did to you was wrong. I could have helped you while you laid in the forest missing your arm and bleeding to death. No I took that opportunity to take my hate and anger out on you."
"I see. Well I need to thank you. My new life is amazing."
"But you don't have love anymore." said Cadence. Well if anyone knows something about love it's her alright. "And without love we're just empty shells without a purpose."
"...I..."
"You seem lonely." she cut me off! Again!
"Yeah I guess I-"
"Did Pinkimina walk out on you as well?"
"We weren't dating. I'm here to pick her up."
"From what?"
"Oh... you know... kidnappers."
"*gasp* Grimm! Oh no!"
"Hey hey hey... don't freak out. If anyone should be doing that it's me." I told them. "Just relax."
"Alright. You know how to defuse the situation I imagine." said Shining. "Call if you need my help anytime."
"Alright. Thanks Shining and thanks for the advice Cadence." They both nodded and went back to shopping. I'm so worried right now... honestly I need a vacation. I just got David double-hitched and now I just lost Pinkie. How do you lose somepony in 5 seconds? I ask you! How!
I made my way down to the shore while reverting back to my human form. It seemed nice so I unfolded my boots up to my legs so I could feel the sand on my feet. Oh the warm sand on this nice sunny day as the ocean moved across my feat was breathtaking. I know you'd think someone as idiotic or crazy as me would be the last to find such kindness in nature but I love nature more than myself. So many great things and so few notice it.
"He's here." I picked up a voice with my horn. The whole radio/ directional microphone thing really worked out. I refolded my boots and sat down on the wooden steps of the pier.
"Hello! You must be that cult huh?" I asked the ponies in the black and red robes.
"Yes and we all know why you are here."
"To enjoy the sunset while on a beach?"
"Bring her here." They had Pinkie lined up on a cross. They didn't nail her but she had bruises all over her body. It looked like they beat and whipped her. Oh man... I am so sorry Pinkie. I am so so sorry.
"Grimm-" she tried to yell as one of them came up and placed a handkerchief on her mouth.
"Let her go."
"Did you bring the bribe?" asked the leader.
"Bribe? You just said meet on the beach."
"We said bring 2 million bits."
"No it doesn't work like that. Look I have your note right here. Not a single bribe." I held it up for him to read. When he tried to take it I pulled it away. "Ah ah ah no cheating."
"We appear to be at a crossroad." said the leader with his boys backing him up.
"No. It appears someone is pissing me off and hurting my friend. Didn't you ever learn some manners? Don't hit a woman!"
"Who are you to lecture us?"
"Me? Oh I"m no body. I'm just a fool who got a note."
"Boys." every single one of them drew out an assault rifle.
"Ah. Humans. I'd recognize your attitude anywhere. Now release Pinkimina."
"Alright. We'll do that." They untied her and threw her down on the beach. "But you die!"
"Huh." I looked down at Pinkie. "Pinkie stay down."
"But-"
"This is gonna hurt." I felt all of them unload their ammo inside my chest. This armor doesn't protect shit! Well actually it would if they weren't using armor-piercing rounds! I counted 7 ponies and each one reloaded 3 times. Each clip had 30 bullets. So you do the math. I was shot 270 times. Yeah. Ouch. I fell to the ground in the pool of my own blood and didn't move.
"Alright boys let's go!" said the leader.
"What about the pink pony?" asked one of the lackeys. I've always wanted to say that. Lackey. Well... got my wish.
"Let her mourn." they all left and Pinkimina ran to my side.
"Oh my Celestia... Stay with me Grimm!" she said with tears.
"Pinkie..."
"Don't move... your really injured."
"Pinkie!"
"Yes?"
"I'm fine." I got up and held my breath pushing all 270 bullets out of my body and healing. "See?"
"I thought you died."
"I'm a good actor."
"Yeah. Come on."
"You have to give me a minute."
"Why?"
"Just because I can't die doesn't mean I can't feel pain."
"So what do you do?"
"Well in about 20 seconds the painkillers in my blood will kick in and fix that."
We waited a half a minute and I stopped feeling the wounds. At least I got my party pony back.
"Pinkie are you okay?"
"Yeah... I'm fine."
"You look like you had it rough."
"Well sticks and stones can break my bones."
"But they used more than sticks and stones."
"Yeah. But I'll be okay." I reached over and picked her up in my arms. "Hey what gives!"
"Your injured and I'm a gentleman. I'll carry you back to the Tardis so I can administer first-aid."
"Your a doctor?"
"No but I've learned how to take care of myself on the battlefield." She stopped fighting my arms and allowed me to carry her. I walked behind the bar and found my time machine in it's usual spot and took her in.
Meanwhile...
"My queen. The order has completed there mission." said the changeling.
"And your positive that he is dead?" asked Chrysalis.
"Yes."
"Then when we attack soon."
Meanwhile...
"OW! I thought you said you knew what you were doing!"
"I do! Hold bloody still!"
"OW OW OW! Quit it!"
"I'm almost done." She kicked me in the chin. "Ow!"
"How do you like it?"
"Look I just need to finish with this witch hazel and your free to go."
God that was a good kick she gave me. All's well that end well right? Honestly what did they do? Stone you! I've been stoned before actually when I went to year one. Ouchies by the way. Pinkimina went back to bed which is odd considering she was sleeping earlier. I felt kinda bad for having her kidnapped but... that kinda happens a lot doesn't it?
I then just remembered something! My Cartographer's Cap! I can't keep on traveling with out it now can I? Time to pay the girls a lesson.
At this exact same time... in a place unimaginable...
"So Eden are you ready?" asked Vinyl.
"Oh you know exactly what I'm going to do."
"*giggle* Stop." Vinyl was happy when the other mare kissed her neck. "You said I get to be on top today."
"That I did."
Just then I decided to climb through the window.
"GRIMM!" they both yelled throwing pillows.
"Hello ladies. Don't mind me." I went to my closet and opened it up to find the green tunic and Cartographer's Cap. I folded it into a scarf.
You have acquired the Cartographer's Scarf! This excellent piece of clothing will keep you looking awesome while you already are awesome. +10 to your sight skills. +5 to your imagination skills. +50 to your awesomeness!
Did I have to bold my thoughts? Yes. Yes I did. I quickly went back out the window and flew to the Tardis. I also activated my cloak so no one would see me. Yeah I'm thorough when it comes to people not finding me. Well except for Vinyl and Eden. They kinda already know... Hmm... I wonder... what world I should go to next. I think I know where I'm going.
A few seconds later...
"Grimm?" asked Pinkimina as I walked in the door in a moonwalk style. "What are you doing? What are you wearing?"
"Doing the moonwalk!" I did a twirl and closed the door. "This is my scarf."
"It looks awesome." Yes! It worked! Now if only I could command her to make me a sandwich. "I made sandwiches. Want one?"
"Yes!" I grabbed it and bit into the beautiful peanut butter and banana sandwich. Good...good...
"So where are we going today?"
"The alternate timeline!"
"Huh?"
"It's a equestria in which Celestia didn't banish Luna to the moon. No instead Luna banished Celestia to the sun."
"That's not possible is it?"
"It is. Especially when it's evil Celestia. OH I've always wanted revenge on her."
"Why?"
"For being an evil troll."
"You are so strange."
"Allons-y!" I yelled pulling the red lever and hitting the bell with a hammer. The machine went rocketing left and right and we had our good laugh as we went through time again. It stopped and told us we had arrived.
"Alright Pinkie. Time to visit the New Lunar Republic."
"I've always like Luna more."
"Me too. But that's only because she's so much more cuter."
"Likewise."
I opened the door and poked my head out only to see an army of soldiers around us. They had lances with these serrated blades that had a blue tint. I swear I've seen these before somewhere.
"Hello?" I asked them. "I'm looking for..." I pulled out a piece of imaginary paper. "Princess... Luna?" That's it! Way to sound like a professional.
"Guards at ease." asked the princess. She was as tall as Celestia and twice as cute as ever. I booped her on the nose making her laugh. "*giggle* Oh I accept thy challenge!" Well she got her old English voice back and booped me on my nose making me laugh as well.
"Hahaha... I'm here to visit you princess."
"OH it's fine with me Mr..."
"Painkiller. But please call me Grimm." I reached in and pulled out Pinkimina. "And I have a guest with me."
"Pinkie Pie?" asked Luna.
"No It's Pinkimina milady." she said respectfully. I didn't know she had it in her. Then again this isn't Pinkie Pie. This is the murdering 'other' Pinkie Pie. Is it odd that I think this Pinkie is more... how should I put this? Sane. Than the original? Think about it.
"So..." I said looking around the castle. It looked exactly the same except the flag. The flag had a black/midnight blue color for a background with stars all over it and the full moon coming up from the bottom so you would only see about half the moon. I liked it. "I wanted to see how you were doing."
"What do you mean?"
"Well that's my job. I travel and watch over the worlds."
"Oh we see! Like a... um... how did my faithful friend put it. A guardian angel?"
"Yeah. That sounds about right." I just had this feeling like... I don't know... something about this Luna was different from everyone else. My heart rate is 2.3 percent higher and I feel kinda cold. Is she turning me on or is she threatening me? I can't figure it out!
"So mister Grimm." said Luna as we took a seat at the dinner table. "Tell me about thyself."
"I'm the boss."
"Take me through the life as... THE BOSS."
"Well... first... I... Talk to ponies!" Like a boss. "Get held down and forced to try on clothes!" Like a boss. "Fight gods and stuff!" Like a boss. "Make lot's of friends!" Like a boss...
A good minute later
"Ask out Vinyl!" Like a boss. "Get a date." Like a boss. "Get her pregnant." Like a boss...
Another good minute later
"Get murdered!" Like a boss. "As well as dismembered!" Like a boss. "Become a god!" Like a boss. "Kill changelings!" Like a boss. "Find out Vinyl cheated on me with myself!" Like a boss. "Go traveling!" Like a boss. "Find Pinkie!" Like a boss. "Beat up Discord again!" Like a boss. "And here I am!"
"So this is the life of the boss?"
"I'm the boss."
"We heard you say at one time thy were a spy."
"That's right."
"And thy also were a mare that almost got raped by dragons."
"...Nah."
"I definitely heard that."
"Your tripping."
Meanwhile...
"David!" yelled Niko. "I just thought about something!"
"What is it this time?"
"We can get Grimm to take us back to Earth!"
"Why would I do that?"
"Because you miss the old days like I do."
"But you don't."
"I'm now suffering from computer withdrawal."
"I'm so sorry to do that."
"Speaking of Grimm how long has he been gone?"
"It's been about 25 days."
"Wasn't there something special for him in a few days?"
"I don't know. I kinda forgot."
"Nice one. Nice one 'Hindsight'. I kinda figured that you would be the one to see the problem."
"Don't blame this shit on me!"
"Yeah. Sorry."
Meanwhile...
"Pinkie how long have we been in this world now?"
"About 25 days."
"I lost track of time."
"I'm sure." We looked around at the night stars from the balcony. "When do we go back?"
"Well I kinda wanted to see Nightmare Celestia. Nightmare Sun I would have called her."
"How does that work out?"
"Very carefully."
"Bah! I say bah!"
"Don't you bah me!"
"I just did! Bah!"
"Hmm. Want to go back?"
"Well I'm tired of Luna daydreaming about you."
"What? Pfft... no she isn't."
Flashback 25 days ago...
"Tell me more about thyself." she said fluttering her eyes.
"Well... Captain Crunch is my favorite cereal."
Flashback 20 days ago...
"Pinkie! Have you seen my towel?" I asked looking out the bathroom after taking a shower. All I saw was Luna. "Did you see it?"
"Over on your closet."
"Oh goodie!" I went out without clothes. Luna obviously didn't mind my human form. Honestly no one's really gotten on me about it. I can't hide who I am. "Thanks!"
"Thou is welcome...Mmm..."
"Sorry what was that at the end?"
"I said men. Your all... like that... Hm-pf!" she walked out to cover up her lie.
"Was it something I said?"
Flashback 12 days ago...
"So this scarf of yours can be shaped into anything?" she asked.
"Oh you bet!"
"Can it shape thy heart?" she asked looking kinda sad.
"I don't think that's possible. Do I even have a heart? Pinkie!"
"Yes?"
"Do I have a heart?"
"One way to find out." she said standing up pulling out her knife.
"What art thou doing?!" yelled the freaking out Luna.
"Science!"
Flashback 4 days ago...
"Hmm hmm hm... La la da da... da... sing us the song... of the piano man." I sang to myself while saving.
"Thou looks good with a stubble." said Luna.
"No get rid of it!" said Pinkie. "Here I'll help!"
"AH!" she pulled the knife down giving me a deep cut. "What's the matter with you?!"
"You moved."
"Oh... sorry. Continue please." I let her continue cutting me with it. I really need to stand still more often when she's saving.
Flashback yesterday...
"So thy are going to leave soon?" asked Luna.
"Yeah. We're kinda bored and we really need to get home."
"Oh..."
"Don't worry. I'll be back."
"How does thou know this?"
"Because stopping trouble is what I do. I can almost guaranteed you that Celestia will be back and I don't want to miss that."
"So thou really like my sister is that it?" she asked a little angry.
"Yeah! I can't wait to fight with someone who can control the sun!" she looked at me like I was an idiot. "What?"
"It's nothing. Thou is just so random. You have the spirit of a brave man, the face of a young man, and the mind of an idiot."
"That's... good right?"
"I'd hope so for your sakes." Pinkie and I were on our way out. "Alright! Goodbye! Have fun and please do come back sometime!"
"We will!" I said waving at the princess as we walked inside the Tardis. "She was very kind to us."
End
"I'd say so. How can you be so blind to someone liking you?"
"I'm not blind. I just don't want another relationship yet. There happy?"
"What kind of guy would turn down a princess?"
"The kind of guy who died a month ago, lost his second wife-to-be and his kid, and now spends his days traveling through time and space."
"I think I struck a nerve."
"A sensitive one at that."
"Sorry."
"It's okay Pinkimina."
"Well I think it's time to go home."
"You want to go home?"
"No! I mean *sigh* your home."
"I'm homeless." She gave me this angry stare. "Fine fine. I'm going." I set the controls for my Equestria and prayed for the best. When we stopped moving she walked out first. "Hmm... there appears to be a large amount of not-so happiness coming from outside. Pinkie do you know anything about... Pinkie? Where are you?"
I walked outside of the Tardis hoping another warm welcome from my friends but none of them were here.
"Where is everyone?" asked Pinkimina.
"I know. This isn't really like them. Maybe the Tardis is finally turning down how much noise she makes!"
"I like the sound it makes."
"So do I. It's so... harmonic." I held my axe in my hand while I talked to her. Everywhere I've gone fights have been happening less and less. Maybe my friends were right. I might just be a god for peace and harmony. I went back inside and placed my axe in the armory. I have a metal arm for god's sake! If I get in a fight I can just knock them out instead of killing them. Why haven't I thought of this in the past? Guess that blood lust is finally getting out of my system.
"Grimm you done?"
"Yeah." I said unfolding my helmet. I was picking at the scab on my jaw.
"Ah ah ah no picking. Remember that's your fault."
"You cut me!"
"You moved!"
"I did? Oh... well excuse me then Pinkie. I didn't mean to yell."
"It's okay. You'll learn."
"I hope so."
We walked into the dinning room to see them all waiting around the table lazily. They didn't look at me twice.
"Hey Grimm..." said Niko sounding a bit depressed.
"No your not!" started Twilight. Oh lovely. Twilight's the one who can always hit me in the heart. "You always going around different worlds having the time of your life! Your never sorry." Like I said. Lovely.
"Ouch... Hey what day is it?" I asked them.
"June 30th. Why?" asked Celestia. Yeah... guess they forgot. Oh well I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was 14. Not like this one's going to affect me any.
"Oh... no reason. Who wants to go out for a walk?" I asked them. None of them were excited. "Movies? Dinner? Arcade? Carnival! No? I never skip the carnival..."
"But this isn't about you." said Rarity. "Name one day of the year when it is about you. Jeez you are always after attention darling."
"Oh... well... uh... today I guess."
"Why would that be?" asked Pinkie Pie. Celestia got up and looked at me worriedly. She knew that there words were hurting me and truthfully... they were starting to.
"I'm so sorry!" said the sun princess. "I completely forgot about it! This is Grimm's special day!"
"Thank you for remembering!" Now I'm in my brighter mood. They all looked at me like they didn't know a thing. "You guys don't know what today is?"
"No." said Applejack. "But it would sure be better if you'd tell us already."
"It's my birthday today. Yay for me!" I said clapping my hands. I was the only one. "Oh... uh no?"
"So human's have birthdays?" asked Twilight.
"Oi!" I pointed to David and Niko. "You celebrated Niko's birthday! I saw it!"
Flashback 12 days ago...
I was outside the window hanging upside down looking through the window as they celebrated for the red pony. He had presents and cake and everything and they didn't even invite me. So I went back to that New Lunar Republic world.
End
"Yeah I remember it pretty clearly." None of them seemed to happy about it. "And no I don't want a party with presents!" I said to them as they all breathed a sigh of relief. Who would want to forget someone's birthday if they were as powerful as me? There just lucky to know that I would never do anything to get revenge. That's not my style. "I just want to hang with my friends."
"So you don't celebrate your birthday?" asked Rainbow.
"Well... I do... but I'm the only one who does."
"Well happy birthday." said Pinkimina. Well at least someone's nice to me today.
"But since you all see so busy to not care about me Pinkimina and I are going out to... hmm... maybe the movies, then the arcade, maybe the carnival?"
"And a bite to eat?"
"Now your thinking! Let's go!" I said grabbing her hand and walking out the door.
Yeah I know. Random chapter of randomness. But don't bitch. I've been so fucking busy. But hey! Great news! Last day of school for a few more years (College sucks). I also watched e3! You know. The Electronic Entertainment Expo. I saw so many great things so here are the one's I'm looking forward too...
1. Halo 4!!! Can you believe it? I know! 2. Assassin's Creed III! That looks so cool! 3. Bioshock Infinite!!! I can not describe how good this game will be. Probable game of the year.
and 4. This one is my personal choice. I can't wait for Dead Space 3!!! *fangirl squeal* Oh my god oh my god oh my god... This game makes my dick rock hard!
And here's some other things I know might end up as awesome as the four above. DmC Devil May Cry (Huge fan of all those games except Devil May Cry 2. That didn't exist.) Tomb Raider. Darksiders II. Transformers: Fall of Cybertron. Borderlands 2 and the Skyrim DLC!
Here are some games I feel... Meh... about. Resident Evil 6. A new Dead Island was announced....(The last one pissed me off so much.) any kinect game (kinect sucks balls.) and they can't just let Mario die. They announced 3 new games for the poor bastard. Dear Mario... I love you but time to take a break. ~Static.
P.S. Dead Space 3!!! Oh I love horror games and science fiction games! This is the best love child of those games.
P.S.S. I can finally get some more chapters up and running. Whoo! Dead Space 3... *gasp* I... can't breathe... (It appears the author has fainted due to awesome shock. He'll be fine when the game is out.)
Yes yes yes I'm still excited about Dead Space! Yes yes yes yes yes yes... Oh god I feel like Twilight... what am I becoming?! What horrible curse have I received? I ask you readers! What has happened to me? Oh! I'm also looking for more positive feedback people! You like this story? Great! But not enough people do. So go out there and find your friends and tell them to read this. You see... the more good things I hear about this the better I write. See? It's equivalent exchange.
Pinkimina and I ran out and far away from the castle before our friends could catch up with us. I this is more like it! When we lost them we planned ahead.
"We can't do the movie first." said Pinkimina.
"Good point. They'd expect us to go there."
"How about some grub?" I held out my hand and summoned a back of bits.
"That sounds like a plan to me."
We spent the next hour having a fun time. Sure it wasn't a great big party with tons of friends and people you've never met but I hate those parties more than anything. They always leave you with a fucking headache and the only thing you'll hear for the next 3 days is (BBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP)
We went and grabbed some salads and nachos and ate till out heart's content. Then we went frog hunting. Odd I know but fun! Later we saw this epic rip-off of Evil Dead. Pony Bruce Campbell is like real Bruce Campbell but only... like... he's a pony. I don't know what to expect from this. Bruce is still my favorite actor of all time, no joke.
After that we talked it out and we went to the arcade. We almost got seen by the Elements over there. When they asked about us I grabbed Pinkimina and turned invisible cloaking her as well. We had to stay in a hug formation but we made it out. The arcade sucked anyways. I was only good at the dance dance revolution they had set up because I'm a great dancer. Yeah. No sarcasm intended. I was like Twilight... only faster!
"So Grimm... what do you have in mind?"
"It's a carnival. We do everything!" we both ran in and got the super bracelet tickets which let us do every ride for free as many times as we wanted. This is my b-day and ain't nobody gonna fuck that up. Well... something tells me that I probably will. But till then... onward!
We got on... well... everything! Except for the baby rides and we didn't do any eating contest. The nachos... kinda already filled us up. I would describe the rides to you but... meh... That's no fun.
"That was fun!" Well the rides were fun but If I tell you about them I would end up like those douche bag fuckers who go to every amusement park and make stupid comments on every fucking thing.
"Yeah they were. What do we do next?"
"Hmm... I don't really know. It's your b-day man."
"You don't say? Hmm... I know! Let's go on an adventure!"
"Let's not."
"Why?"
"I'm too full and tired to do something as exhausting as an adventure."
"Oh...We could go talk to the others."
"But they made you mad."
"But they made me mad. Why don't we... I can't really think. I'm so happy."
"Why?"
"I haven't celebrated this day in so long. I feel like a kid again."
"So your just now starting to act like a kid? Oh my heavens..."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"I just get the most out of life Pinkie. The longer you stick with me the quicker you'll find out."
"Find out what?"
"Spoilers."
"Hahaha... yes that's correct. Don't spoil the fun." said a womanly voice from behind us. I turned to see that bug queen thing from before.
"Oh hello!" I said standing up and shaking her hoof. "How's it going?"
"Don't you dare try to play nice with me! Our battle isn't over yet!"
"It's not? Oh... sorry I kinda forgot your name. Could you remind me? Was it Cherry? Sherry? Carrie? Mary! That's it!"
"What?"
"Well look Mary I'm sorry that I kinda fought you in the past. Bad habit of mine."
"I'm Chrysalis! Queen of the changelings!"
"I am the Painkiller. Good to meet you." I shook her hoof again and this time she accepted it.
"Bah! There's no point in killing you is there?"
"No. Even if it was possible." We both had our stare down and it was she who backed down.
"Fine. Bye." she said walking away.
"So she's going to back down? Just like that?" asked Pinkie.
"No she's not. There's definitely a fight coming." I watched her turn around and look at me like a cowboy showdown. Even the little hay bundle flew between us. "I'll let you walk away."
"I'm sure you will. There's a reason we dubbed you a murderer."
"I don't murder in self defense."
"Oh how noble."
"Don't test my patience."
"Don't test my wrath!"
"Look. If you want to die then come at me."
"You dare threaten me?"
"Chrysalis you know me." I turned my arm into a chainsaw. "And you know I don't play around."
"Fine. I'll stand down."
"Now your never going to start another war again." I said calmly moving my left hand in the air.
"I will never start another war again."
"You and your changelings will live in peace and harmony with everyone else."
"We will live in peace and harmony with everyone else."
"Grimm what are you doing?" whispered Pinkimina.
"Shh... Jedi mind trick." Chrysalis shook her head and looked around at us.
"Oh my lord! What am I doing? Are you okay Pain?" She asked worriedly.
"Yes I am! How are you feeling?"
"Horrible! I've done so many bad things over the years and and... I..." she had tears building up. "I'm so sorry!" She said pulling me in for a hug and lifting me up. How... how did she do that? I weigh 6 tons!
"What did you do really?" asked Pinkimina.
"I took the evil out of her." I held up the purple orb in my hand. "See?"
"Like what you did with Discord."
"Exactly! But he didn't have enough time to change." Damn you David and your extremely awesome revenge schemes!
"So what do I do now?" asked the still crying Chrysalis.
"Can you tell me who corrupted you?"
"No... I can't remember."
"Can you remember the war?"
"Only bits and pieces."
"The wedding?"
"What wedding?" Hmm... this isn't good. She was corrupted for a long time. I'm not detecting any thing else nightmare related. Nightmare? She might be the cause of this. Come on what's left of my brain! Think! If I have all this free space then I should be extra smart! Wait that's it! Nightmare's on the moon and she can't leave so she takes control of others! So maybe I can take this spirit and change it into something good!
"So you can't remember much of what happened. How far back?"
"I can't... remember... the past... 12 years..." Oh that's pretty far back. I hope I didn't erase her memory. "I think I can remember who did it to me... this scientist went fell out of the sky I think and he did this to me."
"What was his name?"
"I...I can't..."
"Hey hey... calm down. Take your time."
"Dr...Z I think. Yeah... it had a z in it. Pain are you okay? You look sick."
"Yeah... I"m fine... and it's Grimm by the way."
"Okay."
"Pinkie. Take her back to the castle so Celestia and her can talk out some peace. I need to check on some things."
"But Grimm-"
"That's an order."
"Yeah... okay." she accompanied Chrysalis to the castle while I walked down the hill. If Zephyr's back then I need to get my game together and work out some strategies. First it would be best if I followed the signal and traced his footprints to find out where he's been and what he's done. Hmm... I wonder...
Later at the Tardis...
"Come on dammit!" I yelled smacking the computer screen. Then I saw Kay's face. "There you are."
"Dust...need...out!"
"Speak clearer!"
"Dustin you need to watch out! Zephyr's back! Dustin you need to watch out! Zephyr's back! Dustin-" I smacked it again cutting it off.
"That didn't help me at all. How did she know? Oh... great fucking birthday!" I yelled giving the screen a good kick and I saw Kay's face again.
"Dustin are you there?" I hooked up a cell phone with the speaker.
"Kay?"
"Listen to me! Zephyr somehow survived your last encounter and he's corrupting ponies to go after you and your friends!"
"I kinda already got that."
"Oh... so you know about Godzilla?"
"Godzilla?!" I ran outside and saw a giant dinosaur with him riding on top of it. "Kay... I'm gonna have to call you back." I hung up the cell phone. I spread my wings and flew up to the throne. "Hello Doc."
"Ah... Dustin. Or shall I say Grimm? I've been studying you for quite a while."
"Okay that's just wrong."
"Don't be so sensitive my boy. I've learned everything about you. Like how you can't regrow limbs but you can reattach them. So say I do this." He made his monster throw it's hands up and clap me. Yeah. A fucking clap. When it did all my armor systems shut down.
"Shit... I can't move!"
"Your just a rock now." He stood on top of me. "Now say I do this." He grabbed my wings and started to pull. "You nothing without these wings!" I felt the steel wings get pulled right out of my back. The pain was so great I couldn't scream. He then threw them into the mouth of Godzilla and she ate them.
"You... bastard."
"How about another arm? Hmm?"
"Why don't you do me a favor and go fuck yourself!"
"Nah. This is more fun." He fused with his monster making his dragon form from last time. "I made it out alive because I found something."
"What?"
"The marker." He held the red and black stone in the monster's hands. "I'm going to keep you as a slave and use you. Your the only one who can translate this."
"Fuck off!"
"Wrong answer!" He held me in his fist and slammed me into the earth.
Far into the earth's crust...
"Oh... ow... ow..." I tried to move but I couldn't. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. He's got one hell of an arm." I felt the ground heating up and saw the lava that was starting to pour. "Oh wonderful! Lava!" It circled me and started getting closer and closer. "I've always wanted to know what this felt like." I felt it under me and my body start to melt. "Oh fuck! This is surprisingly painful!"
"No! I need you alive!" Yelled Zephyr as he tried to dig me up. The last thing to be melted was my left arm.
"Fuck you!" I gave him one last finger and died.
In heaven!
"Ow ow ow!" I continued to wipe the hot liquid off of me. Okay... that sounded so bad. Hehehe... Oh now's not the time for jokes. Huh. Alpha and Beta were right.
"Oh hello Grimm." said Death. "I swear I had Zephyr under control."
"What did you do?"
"I didn't mean to."
"What did you fucking do!"
"I lost his soul. There. Also he found the marker."
"Alright." I felt a spark shoot out of my helmet. "Ah fuck!" I threw the helmet of and watched as it blew up.
"You need new armor."
"Yeah... hey Death. Your magic and all. Can you switch my hair and eyes back to normal even when I'm wearing the suit."
"Sure!" He snapped his fingers. "However you might not like the hair."
"I don't care! This is my last change I will ever do to my body! So shut up and hand me a mirror." he did as was told and I looked at my reflection. I still had black hair but it was mostly greying. The stubble remained mostly black though. "Huh. Bad-ass." I got my blue eyes back! Yes! Orange is so creepy.
"Now let's make some new armor."
"I have just the one in mind."
On Earth...
Zephyr walked into the throne room in his regular human form and every pony was forced to get on there knees except Luna and Celestia as he wanted to speak with them.
"Hello my beauties!" he said giving Luna a slap on her rear. She was shocked but didn't say a thing. "I have destroyed your precious Painkiller and on his birthday I might add. Oh what fun!"
"Listen hear..." I tried to speak up but Niko covered my mouth.
"David shut the fuck up!"
"He slapped Luna on the ass!"
"I know but we can't play the hero right now!"
"Grimm could."
"Grimm's dead!"
"He's always been dead! Watch. He'll be hear in a few seconds."
"Yeah right-" The ceiling blew up and a large chunk fell on Zephyr barely missing the princesses. Then a human in a suit with rocket boots slowly descended to our level. He was wearing this black and white space suit with pieces of blue armor on and a blue helmet that looked very... futuristic. It had three blue lines across the visor that shot out a light in the darkness.
"Hello boys." He said with a snappy remark. "Everyone get up and get the fuck outta here!" he said happily pointing the door with his thumbs. We all cheered and left the room.
Grimm's POV
"Ah... the Advance Suit." I said to myself unfolding the helmet. "Tell me Zephyr. Do you know why it's called that?"
"No..." He said while shaking.
"Because it's better than the last one!" I yelled stomping on his hand and breaking it. "This is the best birthday ever. I get some new armor that doesn't look menacing and I get to kill you for reals!"
"For reals?"
"For reals." I kicked him onto his back and looked at the princesses. "Do you gals want some hits too?"
"Oh allow me to eat some of your cake." said Luna popping her hooves.
"Wait..." said Zephyr backing up. "Wait wait... Okay we have a misunderstanding but you don't have to do this... Leave me alone! No! No! AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!"
Meanwhile at Shy's cabin
"Here you go Angel Bunny." said the gentle yellow pegasus offering her rabbit a new kind of meal she just cooked up. "It's a new recipe. Will you please try it? Oh don't be afraid."
"AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!" a scream echoed through the air.
"Ah!" the pegasus jumped on to the couch and hid herself under a quilt.
In Rainbow's cloud house
"No way Daring Do! That's so cool!" said the happy blue pegasus in her bed reading her favorite.
"AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!! NO! NO! AAAHHH!" the scream continued through out the world.
At the castle 2 hours later
"Man was that the best pizza ever..." I said to myself finishing my plate. I had all of my friends here with me.
"So he's not coming back?" asked Twilight.
"Well I mean he doesn't get to teleport anywhere this time. I took his magic. Also I left him in a volcano"
"How did you meet him?" asked Fluttershy.
"Well... it's such a complicated story I'm not going to tell you."
"Aw..." they all sounded disappointed. But it's best if I build a wall here before they cross the bridge. Know what I'm saying?
"So are you sure your back feels good?" asked Vinyl. I unfolded my armor showing her the stitches that Death gave me.
"Yeah I'm fine. Can't feel a thing."
"Was it a good birthday?" asked Luna.
"One of the best."
Okay. Keep it cool Grimm. Don't tell them about the marker. Don't even bring it up. Don't even think about it. Well I am now. And now. Oh god I can't stop thinking about it!
"Hey Grimm! We found this rock with your pet dinosaur. Want it as a birthday present?" asked Pinkie. She pulled a wagon with the marker on it. "So do ya?"
"Pinkie... what have you done?!" I yelled pulling her away from it.
"Hey what gives!" Just then one of the bat Infector creatures came out from behind it and jumped on one of the guards.
"Quick pull it off-" He tried to yell as it stabbed him in the brain infecting him.
"Shit! Pinkimina! Go get my axe!"
"The Tardis is gone!"
"Gone? What do you mean gone?"
"I mean it's gone! As in not there!"
"It must have gone to heaven when I died..." I said quietly. "Fine! I'll improvise!" I grabbed one of the sharp wings from the decomposing guard and held it as a sword. "Alright! I want everyone going for cover now!" They all ran away leaving me with the necromorphs. "Just like old times..."
"Painkiller!" Yelled the Slasher pony who jumped me. I quickly stabbed him in the gut and removed his lower legs. "You shall be absorbed!"
"Not gonna happen!" I yelled stomping his head in the ground. The Infector quickly jumped on my but I grabbed the blade from it's mouth and pulled it down and I stomped it to the ground as well. "Damn it Z. Why did you have to do this?"
"It was my fault." said a voice behind me. I turned around to see Kay.
"Kay? But... but..."
"I'm so sorry."
"Grimm he's not real!" said David. He didn't leave the room?
"I said get to cover!" I yelled as Celestia grabbed him and teleported. "Kay... how is this possible?"
"The marker. It's to cause of all of your pain."
"What?"
"It's the reason I'm here."
"What?"
"Listen to her little brother." said Cody from behind me.
"No. Besides your the idiot in the dead space suit."
"Shut it Cody! I can understand Kay haunting me but not you."
"What did I do?" asked the red-head.
"OH... right... forgot. Sorry. So how did you guys get here?"
"Dustin..."
"Grimm."
"Right. Grimm our world ended. The marker is the cause of the nuclear blast. You know humanity didn't want to fall under control."
"So they destroyed the Earth."
"Right." started Kay. "We however were lucky and found your blue box. The police one."
"Oh where is it!"
"Behind the marker." said Cody. "We knew you wouldn't make it far without us."
"Whatever..." I said to them while walking to the marker. "Oh welcome to the world of My Little Pony."
"Sweet!" said Kay. Cody looked disgusted. "This is the best show ever."
"You watch that shit?"
"Use to."
"And Dustin?"
"Oi! Grimm!"
"Right. Did you?"
"I'm here aren't I? Obviously you liked it."
"What are you talking about? Hahaha..."
"Come on Kay! Join me! My little pony..."
"My little pony..."
"Stop!"
"AH AH AH MY little pony!"
One beautiful song later!
"Winter wrap-up winter wrap-up..." we were all singing while pushing the marker inside the Tardis. "Grimm will this fit?" asked Kay.
"We make some room!" I pushed it down so it was sideways and Cody and I lifted it up. "Kay. Door."
"There." she said opening it.
"Easy... easy..." we continued to go in when he dropped the back. "Aw... Cody..."
"It's not my fault."
"You chipped it!"
"At least I have chicken."
"HAHAHAHA!!!" I couldn't help but laugh. "Oh it's been a good while since I could talk about Leroy."
"I love him." said Kay. "Cody not Leroy."
"You know I saw him in the WOW universe."
"How is he?" asked Cody.
"Well he's dead. Dragons will do that to ya."
"Oh poor Leroy."
"I know. He's a fucking champ." We got the marker inside. "Kay grab that piece which broke off."
"Got it!" she said kicking it into the box.
"So where are we going?" asked Cody. "Where are we dumping this?"
"I was thinking that Strawberry Shortcake could use a makeover..."
"Why do you hate them?" asked Kay.
"Why the fuck do you think? Every Saturday I have to wait for fucking Strawberry to end so I could watch My Little Pony!"
"He's right. It's a waste of time." said Cody. "How about American Mcgee's?"
"They would enjoy it too much. We need to put this in a place that no body will ever miss."
"I know just the place!" said Kay punching controls in the Tardis.
Meanwhile...
"This week on Jersey Shore..." said the announcer. "Snookie get's laid. Again. And the Situation looks more like an orange douche. Also they receive a surprise visitor."
"Who the hell are you?" asked Snookie as I walked out of the Tardis.
"I am... John. And this is my crew." I said pointing to these two guys. "We teleport from... dimension... to dimension and put up sculptures."
"What did you bring dog?" asked that one random steroid junkie that no one gives a fuck about.
"We brought... this..." They dragged out the marker.
"Hey It's missing a piece." Said the other orange woman whore thing as we stood it up in the corner.
"No it's not!" said Kay putting some glue on it and putting the stone back. "Alright! Have fun you crazy kids!"
"Fuck off ya dumb red-head! Don't you know that your so fucking lame?"
"Hehehe..." I couldn't help but giggle.
"What's so funny?"
"The orange gorilla thinks the hot red-head is lame. Oh that's great!" I said closing the doors behind us as we walked in. "BWAHAHAHA!"
"It's not that funny." Said Cody.
"It's hilarious!" I looked at the pissed off Kay. "I mean it's not funny at all."
"So...I'm sure you wandering how we are working out right?" asked Cody pulling in Kay for a hug.
"No not really." I said while playing with the controls. I made the Tardis leave the area but I did cut on the screen. "Oh snap! Jersey's going to heaven!"
"I... I don't get it." said Kay.
"Because Jersey is already hell. See?"
"I see what you did there." said Cody.
"Did ya?"
"No... so killing those orange freaks makes the world better God of Life and Hope?"
"Hmm... I like the sound of that."
"We've been watching you." said Kay.
"Well I forgot about you."
"No you didn't. Everyone on Earth knows about you. It's a live television show."
"What?"
"Painkiller. It's on the TV and internet! Your the most famous person in the world!"
"Oh...no..."
"Oh yes." Then Kay hugged me. "I'm so sorry for causing you so much pain."
"Kay... you know me. And you know exactly how I feel about you and Cody being together."
"Yeah we know your happy for us." said Cody. "But what about yourself? I mean look at you! High-tech armor and everything."
"Hehehe... yeah. It has it's ups and downs. Come on. I need to check on my friends."
I took the Tardis back to the castle exactly one second after we left. When we left... well... let's just say that the bodies kept on racking up.
"Fuck! I thought you killed them!" yelled Cody.
"So did I! Not now!" I grabbed the hat stand and broke it in half making a sharpened weapon. "Come and get me..." I got in my fight with an army of the necromorphs. "You guys check on the others!"
I saw them run up the stairs.
"Ha ha! Take that you meanly mouthed bastards!" I yelled slicing though about 5 of them. "Crap..." My improvised weapon was destroyed. Then a Brute started making it's way to me. "*sigh* The one day I forget my axe..." I turned my metal arm into a Gatling gun. "But I make do!" I revved it up but no shots were fired. "Aw... I'm out of ammo?"
"Your days are over!" yelled the Brute.
"And you were never alive! SO HAH! Burn!" I shot my metal hand onto it's head and transferred an extremely large amount of voltage killing it from the inside. "So I can't transform into guns without a downside. Big deal." I went inside the Tardis and grabbed my axe. "Still got this."
"That is mine!" Yelled a woman who jumped on me from behind.
"Erg... let go of me!" I couldn't throw her of my back.
"You don't deserve to be an angel!" She cried taking my axe and kicking me down. I turned to see Kay?
"Kay... but you... went... there... but now your here..." she was wearing some angelic armor with wings. "In a sexy kinda way though... hmm..."
"Look at you Grimm. So easily deceived."
"What are you talking about."
"Those two humans are dead! Those are fakes!"
"Oh... huh. I kinda called that."
"Did you?"
"No... but I was thinking that."
"I'm the real Kay! I never went back to Earth to marry your brother! I went to heaven and have spent the past thousand years training! So get up! We need to stop them!"
"But... I...I..."
"I said...uh..." she fell down as a vase hit her on the back of the head. I looked up and saw Kay and Cody.
"Can you guys believe her?"
"Yes we can!" yelled Cody who merged with Kay forming a large 8 armed necromorphic spider.
"Oh...Jesus...Mary...and Joseph..." I ran over to the real Kay and grabbed the axe. Shit! I sent them to check on my friends..."What did you do to them!"
"We only got one of them."
"What do you mean?"
"God are you stupid. No matters. You shall be absorbed. The makers will be destroyed!"
"Maker? But you said we could fix this."
"Not if we kill you first."
"Well fuck you! And fuck your marker!" I ran over and grabbed the axe. "Let's see you all smug when I carve into your infested brain!"
"With what?" She opened her mouth and spitted acid at me making me block with the axe. The metal instantly started to dissolve. "A handle?"
"Oh boy..."
"*SCREECH*" she grabbed me and jumped out the window like a spider and started to climb up to the roof. "HAHAHA!"
"Kay! If you are in there then stop this now!"
"Sorry! I can't hear you!" I grabbed her arm and snapped it with a good punch by my metal one. "AH! You bastard!"
"You stupid fucking spider."
"We know you hate them."
"I hate them so much I want to KILL THEM!" I got on top of her head and started pulling on her hair.
"Let go!"
"Fucking... die already!" I was stomping on the back of her head. When I was able to dismember it the spider went on a rampage. "Oh... I forgot they go crazy without their head. Hahaha... they go crazy for head... BWAHAHAHAHA!"
"Shut up!" she yelled.
"Oh hello Cold Iron. I thought I was talking to an evil spider bitch."
"I will murder you!"
"No you won't." I turned my metal arm into a chainsaw and revved it up slamming it into her spine and cutting my way up. "You attacked my friends! So now I'm going to attack your heart!"
"Stop it!" she went to stab me with one of her arms so I quickly dodged it and watched as she made the hole I was cutting bigger.
"Thank you." I reached in and found her heart. "Any last words?"
"Go to hell!" I smashed the heart and jumped off of her back and watched as she plummeted for the ocean.
"Sorry... I didn't hear you." I quickly went back inside through the window and found that all the necromorphs from earlier melted. That means the marker signal was lost. Good. But what did she mean when she only got one of them? She didn't kill anybody did she? "Guys!" I yelled running into the room up top. They were circled around the bloodied body of Pinkimina.
"Grimm...*cough cough* Hey... you made it..."
"Shit no! Pinkimina don't you dare die on me!"
"Sorry... I... I got hit..." She had a long spike emerging from her lung. "Did I do good?"
"She protected us." said Luna. Celestia couldn't speak.
"You did so good." I said with tears pulling her in for a hug. "Oh Pinkie...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay Grimm. In a way you made my life better. *cough cough* Just... just..."
"Shh..."
"Just don't lose hope... that's what you blessed with..." her breathing started to slow down. "Oh it hurts so bad. Please be my angel and pull this out..." The spike is the only thing keeping her alive even tough it's killing her. Ironic yet heartbreaking.
"Of course." I ripped it out of her as fast and painless as I could.
"Oh... thank you... hero..." she closed her eyes and dropped her arms going limp in our hug.
"Rest in peace." I picked her up in my arms. "Can we give her a noble grave?" I asked Celestia. She only nodded her head yes. "I'd like that."
2 hours later...
We circled around her body with everyone else from the town and whoever decided to stop and pay some respect. I held the torch to light her wooden bed.
"Do it..." whispered Celestia. I walked up and gently lit the lower logs. I can't even think of a stupid joke to make myself feel better knowing this was actually my fault. I brought her to this world. I sent those two upstairs when I should've known better.
"I'm sorry." I told her as she was engulfed in flames. The flames went on for hours. As the ponies left to return to their homes and be thankful of their families I stayed at the grave. I didn't want to leave. I had no where to go. I stayed for about 4 hours until the rain started putting out the flames leaving only burnt wood and ashes. I did keep her knives on my sides in case I need them. It's my way of remembering her.
"I am so sorry. I could have done something instead of yell at you." said Kay.
"It's alright."
"I was sent down to make sure you snap out of it."
"I'm sure I would have in time anyways."
"Yeah. I mean honestly look at you. You seem like the loneliest man in the world when you have the biggest family."
"Thanks for that." I kept my helmet unfolded so I could feel the rain.
"Grimm... don't let it hold you back. You know better."
"I'll get better in awhile. You had better go home."
"Yeah. Take care." she said flying into the stars.
"Yeah..." I kinda stopped listening to her. I don't even know who to trust anymore. When she's back into my life she's a zombie trying to absorb me or she's a rude-ass angel. I just don't care anymore. That's the hardest part of my job. Watching the world die as I remain here capable of both anything,,, yet nothing. "...Well... time to get back to traveling."
I made my way back to the Tardis avoiding all form of communication. The hardest was David and all of his stupid fucking questions!
"David! For the love of god piss off!" I yelled at him a few minutes ago.
"Alright dude. Take it easy."
"Look. I'll be back okay. I just need to fix something."
I can change that cold and grim Ponyville back into a happy one. It all involved Pinkimina. So If I can just keep her from going insane she won't die! Oh I'm such a genius!
One world in the past...
Inside the Tardis I was sending the coordinates back for that one world.
"So if I can just prevent the murder of Rarity I can fix everything! Isn't that awesome Pinkie?" I looked around. "Oh... right."
When I stopped I ran to the door but stopped.
"Okay... if I do this... I know I won't be welcome in this world again." I opened the door and ran.
Alternate Rarity's POV...
"Thank you Starlight." I told the gentle colt who I have been dating for almost a year now.
"Don't thank me." he told me. I was happy because of what he offered me. He offered me a chance to be really taken away from the world! Like a vacation or something. "I love you."
"I love you too darling." Just then everything seemed to move in slow motion. The only thing I could hear was this old epic music (Quick Author's note. The kind of thing you'd expect from the AC3 trailer.) This... thing on two legs came running at us from up the hill. His location was definitely fixed on our cafe. I looked over at Bright Starlight, my special some pony who was holding something behind his back.
"What is that?" he asked in slow-motion as the two legged figure was gaining more speed. I finally got a good look at it. It had this... armor, which was quite dazzling, and his helmet was showing these bright blue lights. It appeared male I think and it was faster than anypony I've ever met. And as soon as I blinked... he was in the air while slamming two knives into the heart of my dearly beloved.
Grimm's POV
I killed the pony making him drop his concealed dagger. I know my assassinations. I've done many and right about now...
"AAAAHHHH! MURDER!" cried the unicorn beside me. Yep. Here's where it all goes bad.
"I'm sorry..." I told her and turned around. There was an army of guards and civilians trying to block me. The guards ahead of them of course. They all aimed some pony versions of muskets at me as to which when they were about to fire I jumped on one of the guns and jumped over them.
"It's getting away!" yelled one of the guards. I quickly made my way down the hill back to the Tardis. On my way I got a glimpse of Pinkie. She looked extremely happy talking to Rainbow, Twilight, and Fluttershy. They were all happy until they saw me. Then they looked confused.
"Hey!" called out Pinkie. "Uh... Don't run! Hey!" she wanted to talk to me. She always wants to talk to new things. Then Rarity ran up to them.
"He...*sniff* He murdered Starlight!" They all gasped and looked at me. I was covered in the dude's blood so they would believe her of course. I turned my head to look at Pinkimina Diane Pie just one more time... The last time. I made it to the Tardis and closed the door while locking it. How did Kay and Cody get in here? Bah! Now's not the time!
"Fire!" yelled a voice outside but all the bullets bounced back to them. "Ow... did anyone not get shot?"
"I didn't sir!" said a younger voice.
"Then get in there."
"Door's locked sir."
"Then we wait."
"Hehehe..." I couldn't help but laugh to myself. I just saved that pink angel a life of disaster just waiting to happen. I mean sure... they will always hate me but hey! This is my birthday. And for my present... I want her to be happy.
Yeah... if your reading this I'm going back to Solo Grimm for now and then I'll throw in a new friend to help him out. Also some more stories related to the gang back home. Isn't that exciting? Well... yeah... but not as exciting as DEAD SPACE 3! (Oh... there goes the author again. Quick go bye him a game that will make him feel bad.)
"Hey Author!"
"Yes random voice?"
"I hear that you are too excited about EA's newest game."
"Yeah!"
"You know what else they did?"
"Oh a lot of things."
"How did you feel about the Mass Effect 3 ending."
So I got some news for you Halo fans out there! Also with a Dead Space twist... You see Halo pre-order bonuses have been released. Go to a certain store and get a certain skin. But from what I've heard you can get the armor in game that the skin will go to so you don't have to go to a certain store just to get a armor set. The DS twist is that there is this armor called the Venator (That's Latin for 'Hunter.' Who knew?) and the helmet looks a lot like the helmet of the advance suit from Dead Space. Don't believe me? Check it: http://www.halopedian.com/File:Venator_armor.jpg Does that not look like it? It so does! Oh it's the helmet that I'm talking about and if you want the sweet skin pre-order at Best-Buy. That's what I'm doing just in case you can't get the armor in-game. (Can't take any chances.)
"*sigh* I hate being alone." I said to myself while flying the Tardis. "Well I'm gonna get home... have a tearful session with my friends and maybe get some pity-sex. Who knows.
"Hello!" I said walking outside of the Tardis. Still my friends didn't meet me. "Guess they're just use to it."
I walked all the way around the castle looking for them. "Where are they?" I looked out the window to see a crowd of civilians listening to the princesses.
"My dear Equestrians. It appears we have a murderer in our midst. This MONSTER shall be stopped! He's tall, extremely fast, appears robotic, and runs on two legs with small tentacles at the end of it's top legs. It's rumored that it is a male by appearance and he's the cause of the murder of Bright Starlight. Who are we going to stop?"
"The monster!" yelled the crowd.
"When do we want him?"
"Now!"
Yikes... guess I didn't change dimensions yet. Guess I had better go fast before...
"Halt!" yelled Luna from behind me. "Your the monster? Wow... what a unique design. What evil scientist created you?"
"Uh..." This is going to be fun. "Watch out for my master! Frankenstein! He's a force-of-nature!"
"Tell me of this man."
"No... I can't really do that."
"Why the hell not?"
"OH Luna... then I'll have to murder you!" I said as evilly as I could. She looked so scared... Oh man... oh she was so scared.
"Guards! Help!" she yelled out the window. How did she get past me? "The monster's in here! Help me sister!" she cried to the other princess who teleported up here with all the guards.
"Halt! Not another move."
"I'll move as much as I damn well want!" I started doing the Discord dance from his episode. (Remember? When he was part of the stained glass and danced on top of Twilight's head? That's what I was doing.) "What are you going to do Big Flank?"
"How dare you mock me... the princess!"
"Since when did Celestia get an ego?" I asked Luna casually. She didn't answer me. "Oh right... evil monster."
"Guards! Take aim!" they all aimed there guns at me. Seriously what's with people and shooting me?
"Now now..." I grabbed Luna and took her hostage. "Don't you want to talk about this?" Celestia tried to teleport her away from me but the magic blast was deflected. "Sorry sweetie. Magic doesn't affect me."
"What are you?"
"I'm your worst nightmare..." I slowly turned my back to the door where I placed the Tardis. "...And I'm the nicest guy you'll ever me." I pushed Luna and made a run for it. I closed the doors and used my sonic powers to lock them allowing me a clear run for the Tardis. When I got in I quickly went to the controls.
"Ha hah! Take it!" I yelled hitting the original dimension coordinates into the machine as it took me back home. "Oh what joy."
Well the return party never happened. Honestly my friends all remained quiet. Why? They probably think I'm pissed.
"Guys... *whistle* I'm home!"
"Oh... hi..." whispered Twilight. I heard a few coughs and some cricket legs.
"Guys I'm not pissed. Look I saved Pinkimina and I put the marker in a place that makes it good."
"What place?" asked David.
"Jersey Shore."
"Oh nice!" He and Niko bro-hoofed. "And what did you do to Pinkimina?"
"I went to her past and stopped her from murdering ponies so she would have a good life."
"But won't that cause another paradox?"
"Jeez David. What did I say about questions?"
"Sorry."
"No Paradoxes don't affect all dimensions. Just the one."
"So were fine?"
"Unless our universes merge then yeah. We are completely fine."
"So...?" asked Twilight. "What are you going to do without her?"
"Same old same old. I'll just get through life. Big deal."
"And Kay. We saw her." said Vinyl. "Does that not affect you at all?"
"No. She's an angel. I'm honestly surprised you guys did see her."
"Who can't see the red-head with wings?" asked Niko making a clear point. "Just saying."
"Anyways..." I jumped into a chair. "Is it me... or does something smell charred? Like burnt to death... with a hint of lava..."
"Uh... that's you dude." said Rainbow.
"Yeah... anyone have a shower I can borrow?" None of them answered me. "No? Meh it's okay. I can use the shower in the Tardis. So I spent the next hour cleaning myself. I smelled like palm trees and sunshine. Yeah... Fiji! I looked at my new space armor... and hung it in the armory. "I'll come for you when I need you." I told it. God I'm talking to inanimate objects now! Erg... BALLS!
"Well..." I went to the clothing room. "There's a lot in here..." I grabbed the black shirt with a red bloody hand-print on it and some dark blue boxers with pink flamingo's on it. Don't hate. I just don't want to go commando while wearing denim. One bad zipper movement and WHAM! Bye bye nuts. So I grabbed the blue jeans and the black converse. Just to make me feel better I grabbed my signature black N7 hoodie with the red commando stripe. Hey! Don't ask! I got this before Mass Effect 3! This is the best sweatshirt ever!
"Well don't you fill in the spot for casually aggressive gamer." said Niko.
"Oh don't get snappy with me." I didn't need to shave as much now. I did like the stubble. I kept it short and trimmed so it wouldn't look ugly. I'm not going to go all Grizzly Adams out there. I'm just not going to stick with the clean shave. It really doesn't suit me.
*Ding-Dong* Did my Tardis's door bell just ring?
"Hello?" I asked opening the door seeing a small kid in a girl scout uniform. I quickly closed it. "Oh god... it's my greatest enemy. The girl scout."
"Hi! I'm part of the girl scouts!"
"I know Apple Bloom..." I said opening it. "Go away. I do not want your cookies."
"I'm as cute as I can be. Oh won't you please buy some cookies for me?"
"Listen Kid..." here we go again. Epic Rhyme Battles of History! Apple Bloom VERSUS!!! Painkiller! Begin! "I haven't got the time. Go on. Bother someone else with your rhyme."
"Oh won't you by box or two? I really think they'll be good for you."
"Can't you see that this is bad for me? Go away and let me be!"
"Please by a box. You can even eat them with a fox!" she said holding up a fox.
"IF the fox was Courtney Cox. Since that is not the case get that stuff out of my face!" Man.... this rhyming stuff is really messing with my tongue.
I ran away from her and even past my friends... I do not need this right now.
"Oh please be fair. By a box and for free I'll make it a pair!"
"You can keep your pair! God you annoying I'm pulling out my hair!" I'm starting to lose this... time to end it now!
"Please by it for me! IF you do I'll let you be."
"Listen kid I will not by a box. I will not eat them with a fox! Not even Courtney Cox (Well... the young Courtney. She isn't so pretty now...) I want you to get away from me! So go on and LET ME BE!" I'm hoping she would listen. "Now I will give you to the count of three to let me be."
"One..."
"*sniff* But.."
"Two..."
"WWWWAAAAHHHHH!" Oh what? No! Aw...
"Hey kid... come on kid don't do me like that. Hey I'll by a box. You know what? Make that two. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm really a nice kind-of guy." God I can't quit rhyming.
"Really! Your the best Grimm!" She jumped up and gave me a hug. "Alright boys! Bring it in!" I heard beeping and all of the ponies in the castle ran out to meet me.
"Aw... Nice one little sis!" said Applejack hugging her sister. There was this large truck with thousands of cookie boxes on it.
"How many did you give me? I only wanted two!"
"Well due to overstock of the product each purchase is one million. And for you +two." she then ran away leaving me with my cookies and all the girls laughed at my face which was hanging due to the fact that I'm still confused.
"A million and two cookies huh?" I told myself. "Got milk?" I asked David.
"You gonna eat these?" He asked as everyone still avoided contact with me.
"Nah... I'm going to donate them."
"To who?"
"I was thinking maybe the milk monsters of planet Frosting-IV."
"Never heard of them."
"OH right..." Hmm... I miss Pinkimina... but she's happy! I wonder... is she okay? I need to check.
I ran past them and made my way back to my favorite blue box. Inside I made it go back to that alternate dimension and I parked it in the woods where no one would find me. I changed to my pony form and walked out.
"God I never get use to this..." I just realized... I haven't said fuck in awhile. Guess I'm losing it. I left the forest, still in my N7 hoodie, and went to town. There were still some ponies grieving, especially Rarity, and I saw Pinkimina (Well... no... Pinkie Pie) comforting her. Then... just then... Rarity moved in and kissed her.
"I'm sorry Pinkie."
"No it's okay Rarity. Your hurting and I'll help you through it." They kissed again. Well technically this wasn't everyone's favorite hyper-active Pinkie Pie. This was... the cool and calm one. I then turned and walked away. No one recognized me. No one talked to me. This world will live on.
"Ah! Home sweet home!" I said walking into the Tardis. "Why do I keep forgetting that Pinkie isn't here anymore."
Meanwhile!!! IN THE UNDERWORLD!!! (Yes this has to be in bold. It's so important!)
"I can not believe that man." Said Discord at the poker table.
"You said it." said Zephyr. "Who knew that lava hurt?"
"Uh... it's suppose to. It's LAVA." said Cold Iron.
"Don't give me a lecture. Hey Iron... Shut up!" yelled Discord as he and Zephyr laughed.
"How's it funny?" asked Iron.
"You say it all the time." Said Dr. Z.
"ENOUGH!" yelled a voice. It was full of pure evil. "I called you all here today to deal with the Painkiller." the figure walked up to the table while accompanied by many demon slaves. Yeah... it's Lucifer. Did you know that Lucifer is a woman? You know? Lucy? "This is our greatest enemy." she said.
"Who put the woman in charge? Get back to the kitchen." said Iron as Lucy jumped on top of him and sowed his mouth shut.
"That's not magic. Don't open your mouth or it will hurt." The stallion only nodded his head. "We have a list of everything he hates."
Lucy held out her hand and summoned a small list of words.
"What?" asked Discord. "Just read it out already."
"Fine. He hates people who brag, people who correct him, girl scouts, babies who cry during movies, bad parents, when people point out his twitching eyebrows, and the ending of Mass Effect 3. I'm not sure how we are suppose to use these against him."
"It's so simple! We get Trixie, and army of girl scouts, and babies!" said Iron. "I'll lead the attack ma'am!" he said saluting her.
"How did you get those stitches out?" she asked.
"Very carefully."
Grimm's POV
"Is it me... or is something bad going on? I feel a disturbance in the force..." Even my Tardis was giving me bad signals. "Oh well... probably caught a bug or something. Away for home we go!" I punched in the coordinates but the Tardis acted differently than usual. "Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa what's going on?" I then felt it land. I was lucky enough to catch the chair. "Ow... well I'm getting better at catching myself."
The outside... it was horrible. It was a deserted wasteland. Again. "Why was I brought here again?"
"Because of me!" I turned around to see a flying demon.
"Uh..."
"You killed me and stopped all of my plans!" I did not recognize this person. It was a pony by appearance but... demonic.
"I don't exactly remember you."
"Shut up!"
"Iron?"
"Do you honestly not recognize this world Grimm?"
"Uh... Hmm... Fallout Equestria!"
"No you fucking moron! This is your world and I have destroyed it!"
"Oh boy..."
NNNNOOOOOO!!! Bioshock Infinite has been delayed for February 2013! Oh man... I don't know if I'll have time for that because Dead Space 3 comes out int Feb 2013 as well. God fuck my luck!
At this exact same time... aw hell. No really. Hell!
"Hello! Guard! When do I get a bathroom break?" I asked the man keeping me in my cell. He didn't answer me. I'm still kinda confused about how all the forces of hell destroyed our worlds and took everyone prisoner. Then the guard decided to answer me.
"The scanners say you don't need to pee Niko."
"Well not for me. For my buddy here." I pointed to David who was upside down in his chains. They... did that on purpose.
"Upside down prisoner has to pee!" he shouted. Our cell was different from all the others. We were the only cell up here because we were going to be Iron's go to guys for a human shield when Grimm does arrive.
"Let him go." He said on his radio. One of the guards in the control room released the locks and let him leave closing the door behind him. I wasn't shackled because I didn't back sass Cold Iron. David... well he's a fucking moron! Oh Grimm... if you ever decided to come crashing through the ceiling now would be the appropriate time.
(CRASH) Just then he fell through the ceiling while wrestling Iron.
"Give up Anthony!" he yelled delivering a swift blow to his balls.
"OOH! NEVER! *cough*" He tackled Grimm and went down through the floor again. The guards all ran to the hole prepared to kill him when one of the dune worms came through the ceiling and killed all 14 of them. It then dove through the hole after Grimm.
"Did I miss something?" asked David.
"Uh... yeah. Hey can you go to the control booth over there? Be a doll and OPEN MY DAMN CELL!"
"Relax. You sound like you just had a near death experience." He said while opening the cells.
"Oh you have no idea..."
"Oh... I know! Let's have a party!" Christ... I keep forgetting he went insane due to Celestia's death.
Meanwhile... one floor below Twilight's POV
I sat alone in my cell as the guards dragged of Applejack. I wanted to help her but they shackled me and covered my horn with this magic cloth. They took all the mares as... sex slaves. What a cruel way to go before your executed for 'Master Lucifer.' I think that's what they said.
"Psst... hey Twilight." Said the voice from the cell on my right.
"Yeah Rainbow?" I whispered.
"Oh good. Your still fine. Is Applejack okay?" She couldn't see anymore. They not only raped Rainbow but they took away her eyes.
"Uh... yeah. She's sleeping."
"Oh... how about Fluttershy?" I haven't seen her in 3 days so I can only hope she's okay.
"I don't know." I whispered back.
"Rarity? Pinkie?"
"They've been gone for weeks."
"What do they do to them?"
"From what I've heard they send them to a different prison."
"How come they haven't taken you yet?"
"They think Grimm likes me. Can you believe that?"
"Yeah. You like him."
"Shh... anyways we can't worry about that. We can only pray."
"Twilight... Applejack's not there is she?"
"...No."
"I'm sorry."
"So am I..." I couldn't help but let the tears flow.
"Oh hey. Don't cry Twi."
"I'm sorry *sob*"
"Hey... I bet we'll get out of here soon."
"Let's hope so." Come on Grimm! If now you ever decide to come crashing through the ceiling than now would be the time.
(CRASH)
"Ow motherfucker!" cried Iron.
"What did I warn you!"
"You said..."
"I said if you ever fuck with my friends that I would murder you!" he slammed his fist into his face a few more times. "Have you met Queen Wyeth?" he flipped himself on his back and held him up as the worm came down and swallowed him. "Hello again today!"
"Hello my favorite subject." She tried to hug him.
"Oh hahahah! Quit it!"
"I'll see you later."
He stopped and looked over at me.
"Twilight?" he asked getting up.
"Grimm! You came!"
"Yeah! Hey... where's everyone else?"
"They sold them off... as sex slaves."
"Oh Twilight... oh no... don't worry! I can fix this!" He looked to his left and saw Rainbow. "Oh good heavens! Rainbow!"
"Hey Grimm..."
"Jesus, what did they do?"
"The same thing they do to any slave that disobeys orders."
"They gouge out your eyes?"
"Yeah. Pretty much."
Just before all of this... Grimm's POV
"So what do you think?" asked Iron.
"I think you couldn't have done this on your own."
"Ah... good eye."
"No. Your just a slacker."
"Shut up!"
"Yeah... hahaha... that's sounds about right."
"I will destroy you!" he grabbed me and started flying. In the air we began our fight. I started to shake my right hand like I was going to punch him then I gave him a strong left hook. "OW!"
"I'm giving you one chance to fix this you faggot!"
"Me? This is your fault!"
"Really?"
"Well... no... but... Shut up!" he tackled me again and we began our fist fight. I grabbed his wing and snapped the bone thus causing us to begin our free fall. "You were right though. I had help. Ever hear about Lucifer?"
"Lucy? Aw yeah...Ask her about the pineapple."
"What?"
Earlier a few dimensions back...
"I warned you! No one, and I mean NO ONE, FUCKS... WITH..." I had her bent over on a table pants-less with a pineapple above her asshole. "MY SANDWICH!!!" I brought down the sledgehammer forever bringing pain upon her life.
"So that's why she sits on all of those pillows." said Iron.
"Yep!" In the air I kicked him in the face and he started to wrestle with me again. I managed to ring my hands around his neck.
"Oh let go! Let go!"
"Why?"
"We are falling above the prison!"
"You could use a little time!" I started to choke him again as we fell into the prison.
Back to speed...
"I can fix this." I told Twilight.
"You say you could but you never mean it!" she yelled. "Sorry... It's just this is hard to take in for me."
"Yeah... so how did this happen?"
"A group of people rose out of a portal from the underworld and took over. They killed Celestia and scorched the planet."
"And Luna?"
"She was able to get away. Start a revolution."
"Alright-y then." I turned my metal arm into a blade and started cutting the jail bars.
"Grimm that won't work."
"Got it!" i managed to slice through all of them.
"Oh wow..."
"Twilight go upstairs. I saw Niko and David on my way down."
"David's gone insane."
"Oh... well get Niko out of there and I'll get Rainbow. Met me at quarter after." She ran away when I went to Rainbow's cell. I only saw her face though. I didn't know at the time that she was torn in pieces and chains pierced every inch of her body. "Oh crap... Rainbow? Listen... I don't think I can get you out of here."
"Can you please... end the pain? I know it's not easy since Pinkimina's death but please help me..."
"Rainbow...I...I...*sigh* Okay... I'm sorry."
"Don't be." I quickly slit her throat with my arm. She wouldn't even feel it. "Thank... you..."
"Sorry. Alright!" I turned around to get a good look of my area. Far ahead of me a portal opened up with a familiar woman walking out. "Ah Lucy. How's it been?"
"I've been horrible you repulsive bastard!"
"Oh... I'm so sorry. There does that make you feel better?"
"How do you feel knowing that your world had been destroyed because of you?"
"Honestly? I feel okay. Same old same old."
"Why?"
"Well I can easily fix this." I said while awkwardly scratching my head. Then Twilight ran down with Niko who was carrying David in a straight jacket. "Hey guys... meet Lucy. Lucifer. Lucille. Whatever you want to call her."
"I am your new god now."
"No your not. Because I know your weakness!" I jumped at her quickly dodging some of her shadow attacks. I got behind her and threw a kick hitting her in the ass.
"GAH!"
"Aha! I knew it!"
"Bastard..." she said while kneeling on the ground. "Wait... you didn't know?"
"I had to take a guess. Say while I wait for you to get up..." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a can of fruit. "Want some pineapple?"
"Kill him!" she shouted as Discord jumped down and kicked me away from her.
"Oh hello!" we both said at the same time. "How's it going? Stop copying me! Stop!"
"You dare?" asked the dead god.
"No... but he does." I said pointing to David who managed to get out of the jacket and jump on Discord. How did he do that?
"Did ya miss me?" he asked.
"David get off!"
"Nope!" he grabbed the god and jumped out the window with him.
"Did he... did he just..." Twilight was still... startled.
"Yeah he did. Kinda wish he didn't." I turned to see Lucy walking over to Rainbow's body. "Aw Lucy no don't do that man..."
"You afraid of zombies?" she asked.
"You know why."
"Because one zombie bite can kill a god." she said while doing an evil cackle. "Arise my new companion."
Rainbow got out of the cell with red dots in her empty eye sockets and she ripped off most of her skin leaving the cell. We stood there having a stare-down knowing this is life and death. I quickly used my sonic powers to get inside her head and use my mind tricks to turn her.
"Now attack my- AAAHHHH!" Rainbow turned and jumped on Lucy when she was talking biting her many times. I quickly ran away without know Niko and Twilight were following me.
"Wait!" they cried. I turned quickly seeing I was a good half a mile ahead of them.
"Come on!"
"I... need...to breath..." said Niko who started to walk.
"*sigh* You are so lucky..." I ran back and picked both him and Twilight up and ran to the mountain which I parked in. The desert wasn't that bad. Well besides the temp. and the lack of people. "Alright guys... we are almost there..." as I made my way to the mountain a loud bullet was fired going through my chest. "*sigh* Damn..." I dropped them and fell to my knee.
"We got him." said a voice behind some rocks. She then pulled out a megaphone. "Attention human! Release Twilight and Niko!" I recognize that voice... it was Fluttershy. But... not so Shy. She was threatening and evil man. So very evil.
"I... you shot me!"
"Then we leave you to die!" she ran up with a very large group of civilians turned soldiers and took away my friends. I faked my death and waited for them to leave before getting up.
"Oh boy... oh that's gonna scar..." I held my breath and popped out the bullet. ".308. Someone wants me dead." I looked around to see that they left and I was presumed dead. "Alright. They can handle themselves as I turn back time..." I went back to my mountain hike and went inside the Tardis.
"I'll take this back to... hmm... I'd say... last week." I went back in time and went outside to see the world on fire. "Nope." I went back in and went 5 more days back. "Aha!" Everything was back to normal. I ran back inside and grabbed my armor. I'm going to be prepared this time. I kinda wish I had my wings but running is so much more fun. Besides I'm like a modern Leonardo DaVinci.
"Help!" yelled a civilian who ran past me. I looked up to see them beginning their assault on the castle. Come on Grimm! Time to use your instinctive engineer skills! Aha! I smashed a park bench, sharpened a bunch of twigs, and grabbed some wire and made an improvised bow. I shot the arrow right in the neck of Discord.
Meanwhile...
"MUWAHAHA! I'll be taking you place in this world!" laughed Lucifer as she threatened Celestia.
"I'll be the one to kill this tramp!" yelled Iron as he stood beside her with a sword. "What about you Discord? You've been awfully quiet for awhile now."
"Discord?" asked Lucy. "You... got an arrow in your throat." I pulled on the wire and threw him to the wall beside of the window and I climbed up.
"Thank you buddy." I said throwing him out. "Iron, Lucy, how's it going?"
"Kill him-" started Iron but I jumped up and drop-kicked him. I grabbed one of my side knives and stabbed Lucifer's hand when she tried to grab me and I gave her a roundhouse kick.
"Guys get out of here!" I told the princesses. Iron went to hit me with a hammer and I ducked as he nailed Lucy. "Nice one."
"Shut up!"
"Okay that's finally getting annoying." He went for another punch and I grabbed it and snapped his arm making the bone stick out. I quickly turned his limb and stabbed him in the neck with it dropping his body. "Just you and me Lucy."
"I'm going to get you back-" I kicked her on the chest and pushed her on her back.
"I have no shame for you fallen angel."
"Keep up what your doing and you'll join me." I turned my arm into a single shotgun barrel and blew her head up.
"Sorry... didn't catch that."
"Your...dead..." choked out Iron.
"Save it Anthony." I pumped my arm back releasing a shell. "I picked up some ammo."
"I'm so scared."
"Oh I'm not going to kill you. I have a friend who wants to meet you." I grabbed him by his hair and ignited my rocket boots and flew to the desert. "Queen Wyeth!" I called as she came out like a sky scrapper opening her mouth. "Bye Iron."
"No! No! NOOOO!" I dropped him and watched all her teeth tear up the poor guy.
"Oh man. There's no way he survived that." I let out a sigh of relief and flew back finding Discord. "Oh how's it going guy?"
"You will be dead by my hand-" I blew his head up as well.
"Whatever." I put my back against the wall and began smoking my cancer sticks. "There's nothing better than a smoke to remind you that your alive. Wait... I'm dead. Hahaha..." Oh it's good fun to laugh at your own jokes when no one's around. That wasn't even a joke. I walked inside and made it to the door but stopped because I could hear everyone inside. I stopped smoking so they couldn't smell it and I refolded my helmet to hear them better.
"He did it!" cheered Pinkie Pie.
"It takes a monster to know one." said Rainbow.
"He saved my life." said Celestia. "He's not a monster Rainbow."
"Are you sure? You've seen everything and your telling me that he's not a dangerous freak?"
"I agree!" said Rarity.
"He scares me." said Fluttershy.
"No one should have that power. Especially not a freak like Grimm." said Twilight.
"Guys I think we're being irrational here." said Niko getting backed up by Vinyl, Octavia, David, and the princesses. Pinkie didn't say anything.
"I don't have to listen to you. In my opinion I think he should never come back." said Rainbow.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" yelled David. "How dare you!"
"David how am I suppose to trust someone who enjoys killing? Hmm? I think he should be exiled!" they all remained quiet. I had my hand on the handle but... I couldn't open it. There hate just filled my heart with questions. What's the point in being here if they don't trust me? I mean I just saved the day again. If anything... they should be safe for the rest of this dimension's life. "I hate him. I really do."
"Rainbow..." started Twilight. "Why?"
"He's a murderer! A monster! A madman! And he gets all of this power as we all sit here and watch in awe." I accidentally pushed on the handle making a noise.
"Whose there?" asked Luna. "Show thyself now!" she demanded walking to the door. Right before she opened it I activated my cloak and she didn't take notice to me. It's more of optical camouflage meaning they can't see me if I don't move. While they continued there insults I went outside. The only damage, and I mean the only damage done to the city, was upon me. They destroyed my cookies. All except this one box. So I grabbed it and went to the park.
I watched the sunset. It was the last thing I saw before Shining killed me. Maybe that's why I liked orange so much... Yeah. I'll ask Death for the orange back. I don't care about the grey hair much though. This is nice. Just me... nibbling on some cookies... watching a sunset... while my 'friends' hate me. Even Twilight said something not so nice. *sigh* I wonder that maybe I should go back and just watch as those 3 demons destroy this world. I think they deserve it. But it's not my place to decide. NO that's out of my jurisdiction. I'm only the messenger of God's wrath.
"Hey man." said David walking up to me and taking a seat. "You saved us again."
"Yeah I did."
"You sound depressed. What's the matter?"
"Hmm... nothing." I continued to eat my cookies when I saw the others walk by. I didn't show any emotion on my face. I did hate them but... I don't want them to know it. Not yet.
"I'm serious. Tell me what's wrong?"
"*sigh* I saved the day and yet you guys treat me like a circus freak."
"You heard that huh?"
"Yeah... I kinda did. Kinda wish I didn't."
"Sorry."
"Fuck off."
"Right."
"Listen to me David. My job is not easy. I have to decide life and death constantly. I just saved this world AGAIN and maybe for the last time."
"Don't say that."
"What's the point if everyone hates me?"
"Grimm... look... I'm sorry. I know how you feel. I mean you just lost Pinkimina and you've seen the world in the future. Was it that bad?"
"It was horrible David. Absolutely horrible." I watched as the sun had finally set. "It's getting late."
"It's July 7th."
"So propose tomorrow."
"Will you be here?"
"...Probably not. No." I closed my cookie box and handed it to him. "Here. Finish these for me." I got up and walked away from the comfortable bench. A few ponies looked at me here and there. A lot of them closed their stores in-case I attacked or something. Then I saw a group of kids. They were playing with a soccer ball. One of them kicked it too hard and it landed at my feet. (Little did I know I was being followed by my friends.) "Hey there kiddo. Here's you ball." I said happily while handing it to him.
"That's okay... you keep it..."
"But I don't want YOUR ball. Here. Take it please."
"No! Get away from me you monster!" he cried when I handed it to him. He kicked it out of my hand and ran away with all the screaming kids. I unfolded my helmet and took another seat on a bench while smoking.
"*sigh* I can't even talk to kids anymore let alone be a father." I held the ball in my hands. He didn't want it. I looked up the street to see the same kids playing with another ball. Then I heard someone walk up and take a seat beside me.
"Tough crowd." said Rainbow Dash.
"You know it."
"David told me that you heard everything."
"...Yeah I did."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"You want a ball?"
"I saw that as well. Look your a nice guy but... we are just horrified by you. All the other humans are great!"
"So I'm the worst human here?"
"No... oh that came out wrong. Look..." I got up and started walking. "Grimm please listen!"
"What's the point!" When I walked past the kids I gently rolled the ball towards them and slept my hands in my pocket. Pinkimina would know how to cheer me up. She understood my pain better than any one here. But now she's happily living with her friends. I am the only person who will remember the other her. I turned around and saw that no one was following me so I went to the Tardis. "Oh what am I going to do?" then the screen on the controls showed Twilight knocking outside.
"Grimm! Are you in there?"
"Go away Sparkle." I said on the speaker.
"Can you just come outside and talk?"
"I've done enough talking. Leave me alone."
"So that's just it? Hmm? Your going to leave us?"
"Yeah I am miss 'No freak should have that power.' So bye."
"You heard that?"
"I did. So fuck you."
"You can't just leave."
"Sure I can. I saved this world. Now I'm moving on. You should too. Goodbye Twilight." I cut on the Tardis making it's wonderful noise.
"No! Wait please! Grimm!" I left that world and began traveling through time and space.
"*sigh* Good riddance. Luna seemed to like me a lot. That one Luna... Maybe if I-" Just then the Tardis started shaking and crashed into something sending me on my back. In the side of it stood a ship. "What?"
I reached down and grabbed a floaty which said the 'U.S.S. Equestrian Titanic.'
Alright... first of... BBB why would I ever stop doing Travels of a Madman? I mean it's a lot better than reading about David getting married to two ponies, who are sisters by the way, at the exact same time. Have you never been dumb enough to combine Romance and Comedy? I have in the past... trust me... It's a hard thing to work out. Second I may be busy this week. Busy schedule but never fear my readers! For as long as I remain alive this story shall continue! Let's just hope it stay that way am I right?
"What?" I ran outside to see the Titanic only to end up freezing. "OH shit..." I ran back inside and took of the armor as to which I handed it to my little robots. "Okay. Atom! I want you to make this suit bigger and better suited for extreme claimants."
"Yes master Grimm!" I quickly grabbed the time valve and turned it backwards and removed the Titanic from the side hull of the Tardis. Good as new.
"Thank you." I ran to my wardrobe and dressed up for cold temperatures including my white jacket with fur and a ski mask this time while switching to pony form. Also I didn't shave so I had a sort of thick beard which kept me warm. "Alright. Time to solve a mystery." I walked outside and the Tardis closed by itself. "What?" It started making it's noise and disappeared. "No! No no no! Come back!" I saw it land at a distance on a piece of ice. "Oh okay. I'll just swim in the freezing arctic ocean later. No biggie."
"Hey you down there! Do you know how to repair ships?" asked a man.
"I'm a repair technician so yes! That's my specialty!"
"Ships?"
"NO repairs!"
"OH..." he lowered a rope. "Climb aboard friend. Please. We need you."
I did as was told and made my way up.
"Thank you." He said. "I am Captain Anchor. We are having troubles with our ship." said the pony as I met him.
"The Titanic. Ah. The unsinkable voyage right?"
"That is correct. And you are?"
"John Smith."
"Well Mr. Smith do you know how to fix this?" he said pointing to the large gaping wounds on the pipes and engine.
"Hold on... Oh my..."
"What is it?" he asked as I inspected it.
"It's sabotage."
"Your kidding."
"No... someone wants you and all of the passengers dead."
"How do you know about the passengers?"
"Oh... Uh... I saw the flyer."
"All the way out here?"
"Yes sir. I'm doing experiments while I'm here."
"Well you are dressed to survive in the wild."
"Hehehe... thank you sir." There wasn't that many people down here. "Sir where are all of your workers?"
"Enjoying the party."
"So know one was watching?"
"Well... no."
"Then the saboteur had plenty of time to cover his tracks. I don't know who did it but I can fix it."
"I'll leave you to it." he said walking away. "And Mr. Smith. You will be paid handsomely for this."
"Thank you captain." Is this what he does? Oh well... hey! If I'm on a ship then I can just have them drop me off at that piece of ice I saw the Tardis land on. Oh genius! I'll get payed and I'll get home... no wait... I don't have a home anymore. Fucking ponies!
"What are you doing?" asked someone from behind.
"Oh I'm working on this engine-Oh." I felt a pipe hit me on the back of the head. I turned around to see, I'm being serious, I saw Gilda. Yeah. "Hey you..." I fell down unconscious as she ran away and locked the door.
52 minutes later...
"Uh..." I stood up and looked around. There weren't any lights on and no one was down here. How long was I out? Shit Gilda! I ran to the door and couldn't open it. "Crap." I moved back and tackled the glass with my head shattering it. "OW fuck fuck YAY I got it! Ow!" I felt a cut on my right eyebrow. It was really deep. So deep that my body wasn't healing it. "Great another scar..."
I ran upstairs to see all the ponies dancing. I saw David dancing with Celestia and she was... well bigger. I didn't go to another universe. I went to another time! Oh the humanity! Well works for me that they are going to die... No! Evil thoughts!
"Attention please. Attention." I said grabbing the mike getting there attention. I had my mask down so they wouldn't recognize me. "Will all ponies who can use magic get everyone they can and teleport away from here? Thanks."
"What's going on?" asked Twilight.
"Too many questions!"
"I asked one."
"Well we may have a slight issue."
"Mister Smith!" said the captain. "This is an outrage! What is going on?"
"Well Captain Barnacle..."
"Anchor."
"Right. I was attacked down there by Gilda the Griffon!" I said waving at her. "Hi! Say hi to the people Gilda! Anyways... this ship is heading for an ice berg."
"But this ship is unsinkable!" cried Rainbow. "Do you know what that means?"
"As a matter of fact I do. But that doesn't mean we can stop the ice berg."
"OH yeah?" The ship crashed against it and sent many ponies flying and all in panic.
"Yeah... there's your answer. Alright! All crew on your regular stations! Magic users save as many lives as you can! That means you two lovebirds get in action!" I yelled pointing my hoof at David and Celestia.
"I'm not leaving. I will sink with this ship." said the captain.
"Anchor that is noble of you but-"
"No buts. My mind is made up."
"Very well. Get to the controls. You can keep the ship afloat a little longer."
"How do you know all of this?"
"I've build boats before!" I yelled running outside. I tried to get ponies on the life rafts but they complained about the worst possible things. Hair, clothes, temperature, you name it.
"But I will look hideous!" cried Rarity.
"Yeah but you'll look better than a skeleton at the bottom of the sea." she shut up and got on the raft with plenty of other ponies. "Is everyone on?" I asked looking at them.
"All but you." said Applejack.
"Good!" I pulled the lever and dropped them all.
"Jump Smith!" cried Luna.
"Why aren't you teleporting?"
"Cold temperatures affect magic." said Twilight. I turned around to see more ponies including Celestia and David. On my right I saw a paper that said July 12th. Alright. I also saw a big bracelet on Celestia. It was mine alright.
"Come on!" I pushed them on to it and plenty of other ponies. "Your the last one Rainbow! Get on!"
"I can fly!"
"For how long?" I asked her.
"Long enough?"
"You can fly all the way back to the castle?"
"I... uh... no."
"Then get on!" I threw her in and released the boat.
"What about you?" cried all the ponies on the boats.
"I'll do this!" I ran off the front of the boat and clung to the ice berg. It may be cold but it's not as cold as the water. "See? I'm fine!" I turned to see Captain Anchor. "Change your mind captain?"
"After seeing your bravery yes I have!"
"Then jump old man!" He got a running start but successfully made it. "Alright. That was fun. Hey Celestia!"
"Yeah?"
"Make sure Gilda stays in prison this time."
"Alright John."
"Wait!" Yelled Niko from raft #1. "John Smith is a fake name. What is your real name?"
"Hehehe... You may call me the Painkiller!"
"Grimm!" They all yelled in surprise.
"But I thought you said you would never come back." Said Twilight.
"I lied!" We all watched the ship sink. "Sorry Anchor."
"OH it's alright. I can rebuild it."
"So that's why I didn't see many workers. You were the only one?"
"Yeah... and it was a waste of time."
"Don't say that. We didn't have anyone killed so if anything you are in line for a reward."
"But that was you."
"Oh yeah. I'll lie."
"You don't want that reward?"
"I don't want one that I don't deserve." I looked down the ice berg and saw the Tardis. "My Tardis!"
"It's just a blue box." he said. One of the boats got close enough for him to board. "Thank you again Painkiller!"
"Welcome old man." I went inside and was greeted by Atom. "Yes?"
"Your armor is complete." he said pointing to the more bulky Advance suit. It still had the three visor lines but the helmet was more square and the armor had more mass to it. Meaning more protection. It also had fur and what not.
"Excellent!" I quickly put it on. "What about hot temperatures?"
"The armor is magical. When we worked on it we activated the survival circuit meaning it will change it's shape according to temperature or location."
"Nice one Atom." I said lighting up a smoke. "Take a break my good man."
"Thank you sir." I need weapons though. I'm sure there is an armory around here. Oh yeah! Past the medic bay which is past the bedroom which is... right here. Hmm. Oh I'm good. I quickly went in there to find many weapons inside. Swords, axes, guns, and explosives.
"Let's see... I'll grab my trusty M1911A1 pistols. Two of them each with mystical engravings on them." You see these aren't your typical guns. They have unlimited ammo due to the fact that they live off of life force. One shot is all it takes to blow a hole inside a nuclear bunker 20 inches thick. And since I can't die... infinite ammo. Oh if I had a bandana I could make a metal gear joke right about now. Hmm... I do wonder how my friends are doing. But it will all work out for the best if I can refrain from coming back here every goddamn fucking minute of the fucking hour!
"I know! I'll go... pirating!"
"That's a horrible idea." said Atom.
"Oh hush you."
"Master... why don't you go and visit your friends?"
"Because they are rat bastards!"
"I'm sure they are sorry and miss you dearly. Why keep them waiting?"
"Because that was a long time ago for them."
"Just give it a try."
"Alright..."
Stupid robot... I don't want to go back there. Oh well. I don't care. This whole... eternal thing is really just eating away at me. I don't fear death but I can't exactly die. So what's the point in my life? The meaning of life is to die. You take a dice which has 6 sides and add them all up to get 21. 21+21=42. So 2 die. The meaning of life is to die. Life=Die. See?
I walked out the door after successfully solving my math equations when I noticed the world seemed... lighter. So very light. Like it was... missing something? What could we be missing OH MY GOD! The world is in pieces?! What the fuck!
"Who's idea was this?" I asked jumping between the levitating rock pieces. I heard this maniacal laughter and looked up to see angels fighting this purple-y monster on the moon. "Huh. And it's the time I don't have wings Oh FUCK MY LIFE."
"Grimm!" yelled one of them landing down beside me. I turned my head to see a dark haired angel.
"Yes?"
"Get up in that fight man!"
"Well let me just cut on my rocket boots then." I did it and tried to fly but landed again. "What am I out of fuel?"
"This is no time for jokes!"
"Listen bub I don't know who you are and I don't know what that is."
"It's the Nightmare! Your the strongest one here."
"Sure! I got my pistols so I'm good."
"Be-careful. She can destroy angels."
"You don't say."
"I do say. It doesn't matter if your immortal or invincible. She will still kill us."
"Then we kill her first! Lift me up!" I jumped on his back.
"I can't fly with you there!" I moved my legs up to his neck.
"Now you can! Go Icarus!"
"My name is Gabriel."
"Your name is now Caleb!"
"Fucking crazy bastard." We began our flight up to the MMMOOOONNNN! Sorry. Couldn't help myself. Then the monster turned to look at us.
"Ah... if it isn't my favorite traveler."
"Hello to you to Miss Moody."
"Silence!" she launched several tentacles at me and I jumped off of Gabe to dodge. Sadly he was torn to pieces. "My magic will make sure you stay dead this time."
"I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going."
"I'm going to take my time with you."
"Called it." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a saxophone.
"What are you doing?"
"Keeping it real!" I started playing while doing the epic sax guy dance. She smacked me with a tentacle and sent me flying into the surface of the moon. "Ow... Okay... that hurts."
"Get up."
"Yeah I'm going to feel that in the morning."
"I command thee to fight me! Would you like to bet?"
"What are the terms?"
"You defeat me and I return the world back to it's original state."
"And if I lose?"
"You'll be my little bitch."
"Hmm... life as a sex slave does sound good... but I'll think I'd like the world back." She continued throwing her arms and killed all the rest of the angels. I counted about... 7? Well if they can die... I can die. SO that's a bummer. Or is it good? Hmm...
"The final fight."
"Alright. I'm game." I drew my pistols. "Let's finish it."
Alright guys... I may have lied. Got some bad news. I may have to put away the story for a bit. A good bit. I'm going to be very busy and some bad things have happened to me in the past month.
1. My dad got lung cancer. 2. My sister was proposed to. Yeah. I hate weddings. 3. I've just not been getting enough sleep. And the fact that I read Sweet Apple Massacre hasn't help me out.
4 and final. I can't just do stories anymore. My brain is finally running low on imagination fluid. Old gal wasn't built for this much abuse.
So if you really enjoyed my stories then like it, leave a comment, and I'll even allow spin-offs. Honestly I just don't care anymore. I'm going to try to think up of a way to finish it off. I still have the nightmare fight to finish and that may be the best spot to end it. Sorry that I'll be occupied for... I don't know. Maybe years. So I'll get about 1 more chapter done and end it. Once again I'm sorry but that's how the cookie crumbles.
I know I know I said I'd try to do more parodies like Stargate and what not but once again I'm sorry. But look on the bright side. Maybe this website will be a safer place without me right? No... No... That's just silly. But still really really sorry.
It's the end for me as we know it... and I feel fine!
Well... Last chapter! I don't know if I'm suppose to be excited or just feeling plain stupid. And I don't want any bullshit that insults my life! None of that in the comments! No 'Aw... Static you little pansy! You could do so much more!' No fuck off! Just cut me some slack alright. At least I'm getting this last chapter up. At least fucking that. But no hate. None of that.
"I will consume you!"
"I thought I was going to be your bitch?"
"I... shut up!"
"Whoa Iron where did you come from? I thought I was talking to Nightmare Moon."
"Not cool."
"Because Anthony, well that guy bitches about everything and-"
"Alright alright! Let's fight!" I aimed my left gun and shot off one of her tentacles. "Ow..."
"Oh did that hurt? I'm sorry. Hey I know of a solution."
"What?"
"I shoot you more to end the pain." I took of two more tentacles.
"I have had enough of you!" she stood up. It was like a uh... An attractive female galactus. You know the big fucker from the comics. Well like that yeah. Pretty much.
"I thought we were fighting like for reals. Not like MvC3!"
"What?"
"Marvel vs Capcom."
"I hate both of those."
"You bitch."
"Shut up and face me!" She reached into the world's crust and pulled out a handle which turned out to be a gigantic battle axe.
"That's not exactly fair." She swung it and I jumped and gracefully landed on it. "What do you think?"
"I think your an idiot!"
"Then think about this!" I jumped up and grabbed her nose. (Gross.) Well left nostril to be specific. I aimed my right gun at her eye and blew my load. Hahahaha.... Oh I really need to stop with the sex jokes. "GGGAAAAAHHHH!"
"That one was for Pinkimina!" I said giving her one finger.
"You'll pay for that!" I turned my arm into a missile launcher and shot as many as I could into her stomach. Then I ran out of ammo. "Who the hell walks around with 40 missiles in their metal arm?"
"ME!" I grabbed Pinkie's knives and stabbed her in the back and started climbing. I made my way to her arm and started shooting when she summoned her tentacles again.
"Die peasant!"
"Really?"
"What?"
"Who says that anymore."
"Oh is now the time?"
"Yeah I could die."
"That's like me getting on you for saying Wizard. No one ever says that."
"Fuck you!" I started shooting off the tentacles. She started turning making me slide. "Hold still!"
"Screw you!" I lost one of my knives. Oh man... That's a collectable! I turned my arm into a chainsaw and made my way to her neck. I slammed it into the side and quickly ran around dismembering it.
"DECAPTIATIOOOOONNNNNN!" I yelled sliding off of her and landing on the ground. I turned around and saw her head was still moving. "Aw what? Are you fucking kidding me?"
"You shall die!" Her entire body shrunk to my size and so did the axe. "Bigger isn't always better."
"Hot hot hothothot hothot hot hot hot..." She tried to take of my head but I ducked. "hot hot ta not."
"Die pig!"
"Suck it bitch!" I gave her a good kick to the face! Oh that felt good. I've don't think I've ever fought a girl before. Lucy doesn't count in my book. She's a bitch.
"Die!" He axe came up when I wasn't expecting it and slashed my chest. Oh god that hurt.
"Why aren't I healing?"
"Magic baby." She went for a chop so I moved to the side and stomped on her hand making her drop the axe. I kicked it away and dodged her claws.
"Well down kitty!"
"Your about to die and your making jokes?"
"Someone has to. And since you killed all my angel pals it's me!" She went for my head and cut open my helmet. "Ah shit!" I ducked and kicked her away. The helmet was sparking and twitching so I ripped it off and placed my fist in it. When she attacked again I punched her with it and gave her a deathly uppercut shattering it to pieces. "And that was for everyone you just killed!" I gave her two birds. That's my signature taunt right there. Just flicking off whoever I desire.
"It's not over yet." She said while breathing hard.
"So your going to give up and save the world?"
"Never! I always win!" she said while pulling her chest apart and showing me a bomb.
"OH... Why is it always the bomb?" She jumped on me and tried to pin me down. She ever put a shield around the moon so I couldn't escape it.
"Goodbye..."
"*sigh* Up yours- *KABLAM!* GGGAAAAHHHHH!" I was sent ricocheting around the shield while being hit with the fires of destruction. It felt horrible but I sill lived somehow. "Uh..." I looked down to see both of my legs were gone. "Man I need those... *cough* Guess I'm going to die for reals."
I looked into the distance and saw the world. Equestria was back like nothing ever happened to it. They had no idea about what just happened.
"Well look at that..." I moved myself to a better position. My left arm was broken and so was most of the bones in my stomach. That was a lot of force in that bomb. "And a sullen pledge, in the sullen swell..." I put one more cigarette in my mouth and lit it. "Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell..." My head fell back and the cigarette fell from my mouth. I tried to catch it but I couldn't really move anymore. Everything was fixed. The time and order. The planet. The moon. I wasn't on the moon because I could see it in the distance. No I was on an asteroid heading for the planet's surface.
"This was fun... the few months I was the Painkiller. Yeah it was. Oh well." I grabbed a pendant from my pocket. It was the one from Kay. I tied the magic rock of awesomeness to it and wrapped it with the Cartographer's Scarf. "One day...*cough* Someone new will come... *cough*" I wrapped it in my metal arm and kept it close to my chest. "And they will take... the torch..." The fire soon surrounded me and the rock started to heat up. It was too hot for the human body to withstand and without my helmet I was prone to it. Then my entire body lit aflame. I could feel it like a warm blanket. Soon the rock crashed.
I was never really insane. No I acted crazy to get the job done. I was never a madman. Honestly I was the most sane one on the planet. I never judged. I never murdered actually. I never gave up. That's my gift. The Warrior's Code. I didn't have much time though. I looked at my left arm and saw a skeleton in it's place. I couldn't feel my face either. Someone will come soon. Yeah... it's the end. This was my tale. This was my story. This was my time. This was my life. Yet I still have one question. One question left in my head.
"Who's story is next?" I asked the sky as snow began to fall. My body went limp and life quickly faded. I was finally dead.
It was the best way for me to end this. Say maybe someone takes this and does another sequel or something. That would really cheer me up. I'm once again sorry for having to end this so soon but that's okay. Epic fight scene right? Yeah... I want to throw some thanks out there for everyone who was a commenter and everyone who's favorite this. I may do another story related to this later or I might start from scratch again.
The time has come for me to close my profile and put it on the shelf for now. I'm sure if your reading this you might say "Do you have any last things to tell the readers?" Well my readers... I do...
"People. Comrades. Friends. A story is a fascinating thing. One could be easily converted to read it and one could very easily like it. But in each story is a lesson. My moral is to never stop. Something good will always come from actions. You see words are the strongest weapon. They can pierce farther than any arrow and they are sharper than any blade but only a few know how to use it. I honestly never thought I would get this far in my story but I did more than I dreamed of. I heard once that not every smart man is a wise man. The wisest man might not be Stephan Hawking or some other genius. Neigh he or she may be as dumb as a rock. But not one person is similar. And in each of us is a story. Don't lose hope. Don't let go of your dreams. Write or act or do whatever you can. The world is a big place and it only takes one man to change it." ~Static Wielder signing off. Oh I've always wanted to say that!
P.S. I'm really sorry again. But don't just sit there. Act. Do what I said in this story. Keep my flame alive! It's the last thing I had to say. Goodbye.
