In Which The Unexpected Happens
Trixie grunted as she pushed the oversized mirror through the antique store. It was heavy and ancient, and like most of the objects within the shop it was covered in dust. The unicorn sighed wearily. Ever since the incident at Ponyville, she’d been forced to find other means of work. Currently she was employed at the Antique Boutique, a small curio shop in the backwoods town of Oakwood. She basically had to manage the entire store herself. The owner, Mrs. Bluebell, was a daft old pony who could barely do anything beyond rocking back and forth in her chair. She was so utterly forgetful that for the past three mornings she had ordered Trixie to move the same mirror from the front of the store to the back. It would have been easy if Trixie was allowed to use her magic to move it, but Mrs. Bluebell was so afraid that it would fall and break that she forbade it.
“Stupid old hag,” Trixie grumbled as she pushed the heavy looking-glass across the dusty floorboards, “Stupid mirror. Stupid everything!” She paused to catch her breath. She looked over at the cash register. Behind the counter sat Mrs. Bluebell, who was currently snoring loud enough to be heard in Canterlot. A small smile appeared on Trixie’s face. Very quietly, she used her magic to levitate the mirror above the ground. She slowly began to move it to the back of the store. The mirror hovered around the maze of old furniture. Finally it reached its destination, and Trixie set it down without so much as a thump. The unicorn trotted over to the looking-glass and gave it a smug smile.
“Well then,” she said, “That’s that.”
“What’s what?” Trixie’s eyes went wide as a loud, audacious voice spoke out of nowhere. Her head whipped around as she tried to find its source. She couldn’t spot any customers in the store. Hardly anypony ever visited anyway, so this was even less likely. Finally she looked back at the mirror. Trixie's mouth dropped open as something appeared in the glass.
She backed away as an enormous smile appeared in the glass. It was a broad, crooked grin with pearly-white teeth. The ivory crescent was jointed by two gigantic eyes. The areas surrounding the pupils were a greenish gold. The pupils themselves were large and looked like two black, obsidian disks. They sparkled iridescently in the light as the face came forward out of the mirror. For a moment Trixie felt absolutely terrified as the eyes and mouth hovered in the air.
“Pardon me,” it said in a playful tone. Suddenly the eyes and mouth were joined by the rest of the head. It was the head of a massive tabby cat, with long whiskers and dull gray fur. It wiggled its right ear, and a moment later an olive green, over-sized top-hat appeared on its floating noggin. The band above the brim was decorated with playing card symbols. Sticking out of it was a small white card that bore the number 10/6. The floating head turned to look at Trixie with keen eyes. Though there was nothing threatening about them at all, Trixie was very close to screaming like a filly upon seeing it look at her.
“For my next trick, I shall produce a body for myself,” it said, its grin never leaving its face. It wiggled its left ear. All of a sudden a large, crooked body appeared beneath the head. Its torso was short and had broad shoulders, but the limbs were somewhat longer than they should have been. The body was covered in strange clothing from a previous century. The trousers were checkered with black and white squares, and the overcoat was a bright red with shining brass buttons. It had several pockets; one of them contained a huge pocket watch affixed to a golden chain. Trixie could see a variety of other items in its numerous pockets--A peppermill, a folded-up fan, a pair of knitting needles--just to name a few. The creature looked down at her with its massive eyes.
“What day of the month is it?” asked the creature.
“The fourth,” replied Trixie, who was so amazed that she simply answered it. Suddenly the creature’s eyes grew even larger, and a panicked look spread across its feline-featured face.
“I’m late!” he cried out as he turned and ran for the door. His long coattails flew like banners as he zoomed out of the antique shop. Trixie stared in wonderment as she darted after the creature. She stood in the doorway and saw the creature running down the street as though his tail was on fire. Fearing that she might have unleashed something that would jeopardize her employment, Trixie started after the surprisingly swift creature. She was lucky that it was in the early morning of the hours, and no one except herself was awake yet. Trixie followed the creature as it ran down the cobblestone streets until it finally ended up in the town square. It suddenly stopped and looked around as if it was seeing the town for the first time. Its eyes were wide and curious, but there was also a small spark of fear within them.
“Good gracious me,” said the creature as its head rotated on top of its shoulders, “This is rather strange.” He suddenly looked up at the sky. “And what’s become of the sky? It’s blue! Blue’s a very nice color and all, but it’s not the color of Erisburg’s sky! I hope I’m not going colorblind.” By this time Trixie had caught up with him. As she approached him she suddenly realized that she had absolutely no idea as to what she was going to do. But by now she was already right next to him, so there wasn’t any time to come up with a plan. The creature’s spinning head stopped and looked at her.
“I say, dear Unicorn,” it said, “But would you please give me an explanation as to why the sky is blue?” The question caught Trixie off guard for a moment.
“It’s blue because the sky is blue,” she scoffed, “Any fool would know that.” The creature looked at her and cocked its head to one side.
“Oh, I’m well aware that the sky is blue in some places, but not in Erisburg.”
“This isn’t Erisburg!” cried Trixie.
“Oh,” said the creature, “That would explain it.” The creature seemed to actually look at her for the first time. “Who are you?”
“Trixie,” replied the Unicorn, suppressing the urge to add her usual title as ‘the great and powerful’. The creature’s smile broadened.
“Allow me to introduce myself,” he said as he tipped his hat. Trixie’s mouth fell open as his head came off along with it. “I am Gyre Gimbleshire, master magician, and renowned performer.” The moment she heard the word ‘magician’, Trixie’s ears perked up, and she completely disregarded the fact that his head was detached from his shoulders.
“Did you say magician?” she asked. Gyre set his head back on and nodded.
“Quite so,” he said, “Would you like to see a trick?” Trixie nodded her own head, and Gyre reached into his coat. His hand reemerged with a bundled-up handkerchief. In one swift motion he spread it out, and it instantly grew several dozen times its original size. Along with it came a full set of dinnerware. The cloth didn’t fall to the ground, but hovered as though there was a table beneath it. Gyre reached beneath the cloth and pulled out a chair, and then sat down.
“Would you care for some more tea?” he asked as he poured himself a cup. Trixie didn’t hear him right away. She was staring in amazement at the feat he had just accomplished. She herself was skilled in magic, but what had just transpired bamboozled her. The creature had just broken several laws of Physics in three seconds.
“I…I can’t have any more, ” she muttered, “I haven’t had any yet.” The cat-creature’s grin returned.
“You mean you can’t have any less,” he said as he pulled out another chair for her, “It’s very easy to take more than nothing, you know.” The unicorn sat down. Gyre sipped his tea and poured her a cup. Trixie wasn’t partial to tea, but she drank some all the same.
“I wish to ask as to how I ended up in a store,” said Gyre, “When moments ago I was preparing for my performance for the king.” Trixie looked over at him with wide eyes. His actions and words were beginning to make her question his sanity.
“What in the world are you talking about?” she scoffed, “That mirror has been in that store for hundreds of years. And there is no king.” Gyre looked at Trixie as though he were questioning her sanity.
“Well of course there’s a king,” he stated as-a-matter-of-factly, “If there was no king, who would keep things in disarray?” This statement confirmed Trixie’s suspicion that the creature was completely daft.
“There is no king!” she cried, “And if there was, he would keep things in order!”
“Well why would he do that?” asked Gyre as he raised an eyebrow, “That sounds sensible.”
“Of course it does!” Trixie said in frustration.
“Exactly my point,” replied the magician, “It sounds sensible. The king is not sensible.” Trixie’s face turned an interesting shade of scarlet.
“There is no king!” she roared, “There never has been, there is none now, and there never will be!” The cat-creature frowned, then grinned, then frowned again.
“Well that’s funny,” he said, “Because I was just about to go perform for him. If there’s no king, for whom am I supposed to perform?” Trixie was at a loss of words for this point, partially because she was having trouble keeping up with his twisted sense of logic, and partially because she was growing more and more infuriated with each passing moment of listening to his drivel.
“You…I…Well!” she finally said, “You are without a doubt the stupidest person I’ve ever met!”
“Really?” replied the creature, “Well that seems like quite an accomplishment. Do I get a reward?” Trixie let out a frustrated groan and started away from the table. She was only a few feet away when the Gyre’s grinning face suddenly appeared only inches from her face. She let out a startled cry.
“What-” she stammered, “You--” she turned around to see that the table was gone.
“A simple no would have sufficed,” he said, “And by the way, do you have any idea who in the world moved Erisburg?”
“I’ve never heard of Erisburg,” grunted Trixie as she pushed past him.
“But you must have,” said Gyre, “You said earlier that this was not Erisberg, implying that you know what an Erisburg is and are able to identify that this is not one.”
“Get away from me!” roared Trixie as she galloped down the street. She looked behind her to see him standing in the street looking confused.
“Wait!” he called, “Come back! I’ve something important to say!” Although she was very angry with the bizarre magician, Trixie felt a need to go back. Although he was quite mad, he was apparently a superb magician. And recently she was having trouble getting her show back on the road. Everyone had seen all her tricks, and no one wanted to attend her shows anymore. But Trixie was certain that Gyre--mad as he may be--knew tricks that would bring them from miles around. She looked over her shoulder again. Gyre still stood there. Trixie sighed and turned around, then trotted back to the cat-creature.
“What is it?” she sighed.
“Keep your temper,” said Gyre. Trixie narrowed her eyes at the magician.
“Is that all?” she asked as she tried to keep her anger from boiling over.
“No,” answered Gyre, “You seem to be troubled. Whatever is the matter?”
“The matter is you!” Trixie growled in a manner most menacing, “You’re utterly insane!” To this statement Gyre gave
her a questioning look.
“Of course I am,” he said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, (which it was) “Aren’t you?”
“No I am not!” Trixie said contemptuously. The creature continued to look at her with his huge, confused eyes.
“Why?” he asked innocently. Trixie opened her mouth to answer, but realized that she had no idea as to why she wasn’t mad. The fact that so simple a question was so hard to answer caused her annoyance, and she let out a growl.
“Have you any sense at all?” she muttered.
“Of course I do,” said Gyre, “Nonsense. It’s the best kind of sense, you know.” Trixie let out an annoyed groan, but tried to keep her cool. She might still be able to get some secrets out of him.
“So you’re a magician,” she asked through gritted teeth, “What kind of tricks do you do?” Gyre’s eyes lit up with delight as his fingers twitched excitedly.
“Let me show you,” he said as he snapped his fingers. Immediately his body faded into nothingness. His head remained, and hovered over Trixie while it grinned its manic grin. Trixie stared wide-eyed at the spectacle, although she had already seen it.
“What do you think?” asked Gyre as his head spun around aimlessly.
“Its…good,” said Trixie, “Do you have anything else?” Just as the words left her mouth, the head spontaneously grew to immense proportions. Trixie’s jaw fell once more fell open as she looked up at the smiling behemoth, which was now as big as a cloud.
“Uh…” she muttered dumbly as the floating head circled around a nearby house. Then it faded away, and the last thing to go was its grin which hovered in the air for a moment before disappearing. Trixie jumped as she felt a finger poke her back. She turned around to see Gyre standing behind her, still grinning.
“Watch this!” he giggled enthusiastically. Right before Trixie’s eyes, Gyre shrank down to the size of doornail. There was a sudden puff of blue smoke, and a blue butterfly fluttered in front of Trixie. The insect flew in a circle around the unicorn’s head before landing daintily on her horn. Then it took to the air once more before landing from where it started, and in an instant Gyre once again stood before her.
“What do you think?” he asked. Trixie did her best to appear unimpressed. Already she was feeling envious of the creatures’ apparently effortless control over magic.
“Well,” she said, “I have to admit that you are quite capable of performing a trick or two. You know, I’m a magician myself. Perhaps we could exchange some tricks of the trade.”
“You’re a magician?” Gyre said with delight, “Oh this is absolutely wonderful! We could both perform for the king!” Trixie was about to object to this statement and once again state that there was no king, when she suddenly got an idea. This idea was of a wicked sort, one that only a pony scorned could come up with. Trixie looked up at Gyre. A grin of her own spread across her face.
“Yes,” she said, “We could perform for the king. In fact, his castle is only a short journey away.”