The doctor crashes on a very strange planet inhabited by ponies soon after his 14th regeneration
A story following the first adventure of the 13th doctor in Equestria (14th if you include John Hurt). It is set pre Alicorn Twilight. The story is about the Doctor coping with loss and discovering who he is with the help of Twilight sparkle while helping the citizens of Ponyville fend off an old enemy that has followed him to Equestria.
The doctor watched alone in his TARDIS as the universe began to shatter around him. A thousand species all gathered in one place all after one thing. War. And they’d gotten it. His attempts at negotiations had gotten the one friend he had left throughout all of time and space killed and he himself missing a rather sizable chunk of his chest. He was getting careless. At the very least he usually managed to save someone. Anyone! Even a single soul would be better than this. Alas it wasn’t to be. This time no one lives. This wouldn’t be a war that could be won, it would be far too large and there would be far too much at stake for everyone involved.
On the planet in-between these thousands of species was the solution to the skasis paradigm. All that anyone could possibly need to take over the universe and bend it to their will. If the Daleks got there “hands” on it they would destroy every other creature in the universe. The Cybermen would make every creature alive one of them. The Sontarans would force every being into a last great war with themselves in the centre of it all. The doctor had to stop them. The question was how?
Normally the obvious answer would be get to the solution to the skasis paradigm first and destroy it. Unfortunately his death was drawing near. He would almost certainly be far too distracted and possibly unconscious to do much during his regeneration so he had to do something now.
“Come on think! Think! THINK!” The doctor clutched his chest and let out a gasp of pain before continuing “You have maybe 90 seconds to save the universe. plenty of time! All the time you could possibly need before you regenera…. Oh that’s good. That is very very good.” The doctors pained muttering became excited pained mutterings as he began flipping switches and bits of the TARDIS began to engulf him. His thought process was relatively simple. When he regenerated he let off power and a lot of it. More and more after each and every regeneration. With the right tool that much power could punch a hole in the very fabric of the universe and a rather sizable hole at that. Say a hole large enough for a relatively small completely uninhabited planet were a very smart man had hidden away the solution to the stasis a paradigm only for a daft old twit to discover and declare the existence of to the universe. He could hide it in the in-between state in-between universes (try saying that ten times fast.). The doctor was laughing as he pointed the sonic at the controls to the TARDIS setting it up to close the tear in the fabric of reality as soon as the planet passed through it.
“So you found him in the everfree forest fluttershy? What was he doing there?” The Doctor awoke to the sound of whispers coming from somewhere to his left which he promptly ignored to tend to more pressing matters.
“Still alive huh?” The doctor said ponderously “OH!” He suddenly exclaimed resulting in 3 high pitched gasps from the whispering beings to his left. “I have an English northern accent again … I think. I can never be too sure without confirmation first. Hard to tell what you sound like with your own ears I’ll have to borrow someone else’s later. Hmmmm I seem to be lying down on something rather soft. A Bed? No not comfortable enough. A coach! Yep definitely a coach.” The doctor pulled himself into a standing position. “Huh four legs? And hooves! Well that’s a new one. Never had hooves before. Clearly not humanoid. That’s rare not very many non-humanoid intelligent species.” The doctor waggled his tail in delight “wait a minute! “The doctor felt his flank. “No! Nooooooo!” The doctor squealed in delight. “I have a tail! Imagine all the useful things you can do with a tail. Like … wait what do creatures with tails do with them? Chase them? Hmmm I suppose you shouldn’t knock it until you try it.” The doctor began to chase his tail but quickly stopped. “Well I get dizzy a lot faster than I used to” He said stumbling back into the coach. “Wait my tail was brown. Does that mean?” The doctor pulled down the front of his mane to confirm that it was brown. “But I’ve been brown loads of times! It gets boring. There are so many other hair colours out there. I could have been ginger. I’ve even got fur now! That’s two chances to be ginger but nope both bro- owwwwwwwn argh!” The doctor suddenly doubled over in pain before falling unconscious.
“Who is this stallion?” Twilight exclaimed poke the unconscious pony before leaping back half expecting him to leap back to life.
“Well I’m not sure a big blue box sort of threw him at me while I was visiting Merlin the manticore.” Fluttershy replied making sure to keep Twilight between her and the new pony in case he woke up again.
“I’m sure I’ve seen him around somewhere before.” Spike said deep in thought. “I just can’t remember where.”
“Is he ill? Why did he pass out? Why did he seem so surprised by what he looked and sounded like? Where’s he from? I have so many questions!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Maybe we should take him to the hospital?” Fluttershy suggested timidly.
“NO!” The doctor climbed back onto four hooves with a pained expression on his face. “I’m fine. I just used to much of my regeneration energy on things other than regenerating I should be fine after a little R&R after the last few days I most certainly need it.” The doctor looked at the ground tears in his eyes. The memories of his last few days starting to sink in. So many dead because of his stupid curiosity. Even his solution was mind bogglingly stupid now that he stopped to think about. Rip a hole in the fabric of reality. Sure why not? Not as if that’s nearly caused the destruction of the universe a thousand times over. “Stupid! Utterly and completely stupid.”
At this Fluttershy darted out of the room and, following a prompt from twilight, spike went after her.
“Are you ok mr…?” twilight prompted.
“The doctor. Just the doctor and I am fine… I think.” The doctor suddenly felt his chest before suddenly slamming his hoof into it a few times. “Now I’m definitely fine both hearts working and everything.” The doctor tried for a cheerful smile.
“Wait two hearts?”
“Well you have a horn!” The doctor said brushing off the question.
“Yes. All unicorns have horns.” Twilight stated matter of factly.
“Well yeah obviously what kind of an idiot doesn’t know that? Of course you’re a unicorn and the beings that just darted out of this room the flying horse and small lizard thing are also completely normal. Huh. I’m sarcastic, evasive and really rather rude. I suppose that isn’t exactly unusual though.”
“You are a very strange pony. Spike, the “small lizard thing” is a dragon and fluttershy is a Pegasus.”
“Wait a minute am I?” The doctor’s hands suddenly shot to his fore head and then his back. “Of course not.” He said glumly. “What was that all about?” Twilight asked inquisitively.
“I was checking if I had a horn or wings but I don’t.”
“Wait let me get this straight.” Twilight looked at the stallion thoughtfully “You had no idea you were a pony until you woke up a few minutes ago?” The doctor nodded “ You didn’t know about unicorns , Pegasus and dragons until either you saw them when you woke up?” The doctor nodded again. “So you have amnesia?”
The doctor let out a quick bark of laughter “I wish my dear …?”
“Twilight. Twilight Sparkle”
“Well Miss sparkle nothing would please me more than to forget all of the thought I have ever thought but they are kind of stuck in my head like the tune to a catchy song. They just replay themselves over and over. I would say they were slowly driving me insane but that would imply I has some semblance of sanity to begin with. To answer your question, miss sparkle, no I don’t have amnesia. I remember everything that has ever happened to me.”
The ponies sat and stared at each other in silence for a while. Eventually they were interrupted by a loud gurgling sound coming from the doctor’s stomach.
“Don’t suppose you have anything to eat around here I am starving!”
Twilight Sparkle stood at the entrance to Fluttershy’s kitchen with a look of horror on her face. She had just watched the strange long winded pony take a bite out of every vegetable known to pony kind (Fluttershy had a very well stocked kitchen in order to cater to any animals diet that showed up at her door). She had also watched him spit out every last one of them. He was currently devouring a mixture of baked beans, honey and caramel?
“That hit the spot” the doctor said putting down the empty bowl that had contained the abomination that was his lunch “I’m not sure about all of these vegetables though. Never been a big fan of green things. Well with the exception of jelly babies some of those are green but then again I haven’t tried them yet. Wait! What if I don’t like jelly babies? What if I don’t like jammy dodgers? There are so many things that I don’t know yet!”
“Are you having an identity crisis?” Twilight asked noticing the symptoms from a book.
“Miss Sparkle my life is one big identity crisis. If I ever figure myself out it would amaze me.”
“Okay?”
“That reminds me. Manners! I should have them. I sometimes do. Well almost usually sometimes. Anyway that’s besides the point. I just came into your kitchen and ate your food without even bothering to ask if you were hungry. Want me to whip you something up? I think I like cooking it was far more fun eating a combination of three things than it was nibbling at the ingredients. Things on their own are rubbish they need companionship otherwise eating them is far less fun.”
“Well this isn’t my kitchen so you aren’t being rude by not making me anything.” Twilight said attempting to avoid eating this crazy ponies cooking.
“In that case I’ll make her something to eat for when she get back! The caramel was definitely the best part of that lunch maybe if I combine it with some of the green things it will make them taste better!” The doctor set to work creating another abomination of cooking this time leaving it in a small bowl on the kitchen counter. “There we go it looks delicious which means it will be delicious! Know it’s time to go exploring.”
The stallion sprinted out of the door and into a brand new world but was quickly enveloped in a purple glow and pulled back into the door.
“Wait. What was that?” Asked the doctor a look of awe on his face.
“A very simple levitation spell one of the first pieces of magic a unicorn learns and you’re not going anywhere until you do a better job of explaining yourself!”
“Huh so you’re a magic talking purple unicorn?” The other mare nodded uncertain as to why the stallion was stating the obvious. “Fair enough then I propose a simple game. I like games. Or at least I used to so this will be nice little experiment to see if I still like them. The rules are simple we each take turns asking each other a question and we each get three questions. This way you get to learn about me and I get to know more about this planet. I’ll even let you go first.”
“Fine then. Who are you?”
“I already told you that. I’m the doctor.”
“But doctor who?”
“Don’t you mean doctor hooves?” The doctor held up his hooves before bursting into laughter “it seems I like puns now especially incredibly witty ones like that. Now it’s my turn.”
“That’s unfair you didn’t answer my question.”
“You should’ve been more specific with your question. Don’t worry you have two more but now it is time for my question.” The doctor jumped up 3 times while glaring at the ground as if it had offended him. “Why isn’t the ground moving?”
“What?”
“The ground and, by extension, this whole planet is entirely stationary. I’ve been conscious for about an hour now and I haven’t felt it move an inch. Why? You clearly have a sun. I saw it when I ran outside. I judge the distance between this planet and that star up there to be roughly 150 million kilometres and this planet doesn’t feel too big. I’d say it’s a little smaller than the earth presuming the density of the dirt out there is roughly the average for the surface of the planet and it gets steadily denser as you approach the core this planet mass couldn’t possibly be larger than something that appears that big in the sky and yet seems to be about 150 million kilometres away. There should be gravity. We should be moving around it but we’re not. There isn’t even a small gravitational pull coming from it which means that nothing could possibly be there but something was clearly there because I saw it.”
“Oh that’s an easy one. You learn about this in school. The sun is created by princess Celestia’s magic and also moved by it. Magic doesn’t have any mass so it doesn’t exert a gravitational pull on the planet so we don’t move. It’s the same for princess luna’s moon.” Twilight lectured.
“Fascinating. So everything about that sun is artificial. The heat and the light are created by magic. Wow. These princesses of yours must be very powerful to maintain that amount of energy for any amount of time.” The doctor stated, awe struck.
“They are very powerful. Now it’s my turn. What are you? I’ve never heard of a being with two hearts.”
“I’m a time lord from the planet Gallifrey.”
“What’s a time lord? An alien from this planet Gallifrey?”
“I believe, miss sparkle, that that is your third and final question so the fourth one shall be ignored. A time lord is exactly what t sounds like. They were a race with the ability to travel through time and space whenever they wanted to instantaneously. They were proud and they were noble.”
“Were?”
“So inquisitive but I’m afraid you’re out of questions while I still have two left but I think I’ll save one for later. So my final question for now is …” the doctor attempted a drum roll in order to build suspense however he ended up losing his balance and falling flat on his face. Twilight couldn't help giggling. “Need to get used to using my legs for things other than walking. It’s so easy to lose your balance. Anyway my question do you know where I can get some clothes. I am entirely naked and, although this seems to be the norm for ponies and I don’t really mind too much, I miss pockets. They are infinitely useful things. What if I saw some incredibly useful thing and wanted to store it for later use? Well I couldn't due to my lack of pockets.” The doctor seemed really rather worked up over his pocket less situation.
“Well I have a friend who owns a clothing store that isn’t far from here I’m sure she could find you something.” Twilight replied looking a little annoyed at the pony that had just answered three of her questions but had told her very little. was this strange pony really from another planet? “That sounds perfect. I wonder if my fashion sense has improved at all this time. Oh who am I kidding I've always been incredibly fashionable. Well lead the way miss sparkle.” The doctor said flashing her his most charismatic grin.
“Is it much further my fee … wait no my hooves are starting to hurt. This may take some getting used to.” The doctor complained as he followed Twilight down the street.
“Have you always been so whiney?” Asked Twilight once more finding the urge to hit him almost overwhelming.
“No. Although my newer incarnations tend to be whiney than the old ones.” The doctor mused.
“Incarnations?” Twilight responded.
“Such an inquisitive mind miss sparkle. I’m not certain if it’s a good or bad trait. Knowledge is power but too much of it can break a person … pony.”
“What?”
“Sorry just thinking out loud. I do that. Always have and at this point I’d say it’s a safe bet that I always will. Hard to keep so many thoughts in your head without a few spilling out every now and again.” The doctor said quickly becoming lost in his own mind.
“Never mind. We’re here now anyway.” The unicorn gestured towards a building that at first glance the doctor thought was a giant cake. He was actually a little disappointed that it wasn’t a giant cake since he had yet to try cake with these taste buds.
Twilight entered the boutique quickly followed by the doctor who was trying to remember what cake tasted like.
The pair were almost instantly greeted by a white mare with a purple mane “Twilight. What can I do for you and your devilishly handsome companion?” The mare spoke in a very posh accent.
“Devilishly handsome? Really? Twilight why didn’t you tell me I was devilishly handsome? I should really find a mirror or something I still haven’t seen myself. Not that I really know what’s considered handsome for a stallion. Maybe it’s the mane. No it’s probably the eyes they seem to dominate most of the face on ponies. Or maybe …” upon noticing the death glare he was receiving from Twilight the doctor promptly shut up.
“Sorry Rarity. This is ummm …” Twilight glanced at the doctor for inspiration and was granted it when her eyes fell on his cutie mark. “Time Turner. He’s new here and wanted some new clothes-“
“Preferably clothes with pockets!” The doctor interrupted.
“As I was saying he was wondering if you could help him out.” Twilight concluded.
“Why of course. I’m always happy to help a pony in need especially one with a fashion problem.” Rarity started walking through rows of fabric “any preferences on colour?” Rarity asked.
“Nothing to bright but not brown. I’m sick of brown. I’m always brown.” The doctor said turning around to glare at his own tail.
“Hmmm something with pockets that isn’t brown. How about a coat and a shirt. Nothing to thick so you don’t get too hot. Summer is right around the corner after all.” Rarity mused. “What about a tie of some sort?”
The doctor had begun to follow the unicorn around. “I’m not sure though I do tend to like ties for some reason.”
The fashionista turned around suddenly and ushered the doctor in front of a mirror. The pony that stared back at him looked almost … plain. Light brown fur dark brown mane and blue eyes. Nothing particularly eye catching. He quite liked it. Then rarity put the bow tie on and for a split second he looked into the mirror and couldn’t help but think bow ties looked cool. Then he realised he couldn’t breathe.
“so what do you thin-“ Rarity was cut off by the doctor panicking and grasping at his throat before tearing the bow tie off and looking at it with sad eyes.
“How could you betray me bow tie? I thought you were cool.” The doctor said before handing the tie back to Rarity.
“Okay then. So the neck ware is a no.” Quickly regaining her composure Rarity went back into her rows of clothing and returned with a plain white shirt and a pitch black overcoat that was almost long enough to be considered a trench coat but wasn’t quite there. The important thing was that it had pockets!
“Put the white shirt on first but leave the top button undone then put on the overcoat.” The doctor did as he was told and loved the results. Not only was the outfit comfortable but he wasn’t afraid to say (well in this case think) that it looked pretty good on him to.
“This is perfect! How much do I owe you?” The doctor dreaded the answer since he didn’t have any money nor did he even know what the currency was on this world.
“Don’t worry about it darling. This coat was clearly made to be worn by you. I couldn’t live with the thought of anypony else wearing it.” The white mare said throwing her front hooves up grandly.
“Thanks. You really helped me out here. Usually I can find something that suits me in the TARDIS somewhere but I’m pretty sure I don’t have any clothes that fit ponies. I may have a horse sized fez somewhere though. Also I have to say the anypony pun was top notch.”
“You’re welcome?” Rarity gave the stallion a confused look before quickly returning to her usual elegant self.
“Well now that I’m all nice and suited up, with pockets and everything, I think it’s time I figured out what planet and what time this. TARDIS ho!” The doctor gestured towards the door and began to run towards it but stopped almost immediately. “TARDIS ho? Nope not a fan of that. Never saying that again. Maybe doctor away!” The doctor made the same grand gestured but this time didn’t even begin to move this time. “Nope definitely not. Argh I’ll figure something out eventually. I always do. Oh yeah!” The doctor turned to the two very confused mares. “I just realised I haven’t the foggiest idea where my TARDIS is. You two have any clues? It’s a kind of big blue box thing. Makes a fantastic whirring sound quite a lot.”
“Fluttershy did mention something about a blue box spitting you out in the Everfree forest.” Twilight replied.
“She spat me out? I hope she isn’t mad at me. She does tend to get a little annoyed when I regenerate inside her. It always leaves her looking like a mess but it couldn’t be helped this time. I’m sure if I apologise she’ll forgive me. Maybe if I finally fixed the inertial dampeners or better yet bought her new ones. I bet she’d like that! It would make it a lot easier to aim her at a specific time and place. Then again where’s the fun in that? I would know exactly where and when I was going all the time. Maybe if I just redecorated. She always did like a good makeover. I bet she’s going to hide the swimming pool again. She says it isn’t her but I know it is. Oh who am I kidding? I probably keep moving it and then forget that I’ve moved it. Too many thoughts! They get all jumbled.” The doctor snaps himself out of his train of thought. “Well there’s no use standing around worrying. I’ll just have to go find out for myself. Miss sparkle if you wouldn’t mind escorting me to this Everfree forest?”
“Well I –“Twilight began.
“Excellent! Lead on then, miss sparkle.” The doctor interrupted.
Twilight sighed and muttered a brief goodbye to rarity before exiting the boutique with the doctor following close behind her.
Twilight was steadily losing her patience with this doctor. The only pony she had ever met who could talk as much as the doctor was Pinkie Pie but when she talked her aim was to get you to smile. When the doctor talked he seemed to be either merely thinking out loud or actively trying to alienate her. He’d been talking for the last five minutes non stop. “Why is walking so much more tiring than it used to be? I have spent most of my life on my feet. Maybe it’s because I have hooves now. I’m not sure I like it. Maybe I should have asked rarity for some shoes. Do ponies wear shoes? Horseshoes I suppose. That reminds me. Twilight are you and Rarity part of some sort of cult?” The doctor blathered.
“What? Why would you ask that?” Twilight asked surprised.
“Well you both have a tattoo in the exact same place. Isn’t that the sort of thing cults do? Or is that sororities? Twilight if you were one of those creepy sorority girls who feast on the blood of innocent virgins and handsome time lords you’d tell me right?”
“Wait. Are you talking about my cutie mark? Everypony has one! You have one.” Twilight gestured at the doctor’s flank. “It shows what your special talent is. Mine represents magic. Rarities represents fashion. Yours is …?” Twilight took another look at the doctor’s flank.
“Huh an hourglass. I guess that is rather appropriate.”
“Right the whole Time Lord thing. Ready to explain that yet.”
“Nope. You shouldn’t have squandered your questions miss Sparkle.”
“You kept rule lawyering me with your silly games logic!” Twilight said exasperated.
“My game. My rules.”
“How is that fair?”
“It’s not miss Sparkle. Very few things are.” The doctor said entering what Twilight had decided to name his brood mode. It was better than his talk a lot but say nothing mode though so Twilight let him be and the made the rest of the journey to Everfree forests entrance in silence.
“Well here we are.” Twilight announced “Everfree forest. Fluttershy said she found you fairly close to the entrance so we shouldn’t have to go to deep inside it to find your box.”
“Excellent! All we have to do is search this dark, dank and rather foreboding forest. A forest so large you could wander it your entire life and barely scratch the surface of what’s inside it. This will be a great adventure and a nice way of testing this new body of mine out. I’m sure it will be challenging bu-“
“Umm doctor?” Twilight interrupted.
“Yes Miss sparkle.” The doctor replied agitatedly. While he was fine with interrupting other people he didn’t particularly enjoy being interrupted.
“You do realise that we can see this box of yours from the entrance. It’s right there. Maybe 30 feet into the forest.”
“Oh. So it is.” The doctor replied a little disappointed beginning to trudge towards the TARDIS. He perked up a little upon seeing a pile of torn cloth in front of the TARDIS.
“My old clothes! They don’t usually get all torn up when I regenerate. Then again my appearance doesn’t usually change quite so drastically so I suppose some anomalies are to be expected. Well this is brilliant because if I’m lucky …” the doctor began to search. He quickly found what seemed to be a small wallet which he pocketed while shouting “pockets” and giggling at himself. He then returned to his search and soon found a small, slightly bent, metallic device and three keys which he also pockets.
“What were those things?” Twilight asked.
“Just a few odds and ends I like to keep on me in case of emergencies. Oh also!” The doctor bends down one final time and picks up a somewhat decrepit looking shoe. He peels back the sole of the shoe removes a small, squashed biscuit and promptly eats. “Oh yes. Definitely still like jammie dodgers. Amazing biscuits. Superb.”
“Are you done?”
“Yeah. At least I think so. Pretty sure I wasn’t carrying around anything else that was all that important.” The doctor smiled. “now then, Miss sparkle, I think it’s time for me to introduce you to the most gorgeous piece of machinery that has if existed. Let me introduce you to the TARDIS!”
The doctor through open both of the doors to the TARDIS as impressively as he could. “Miss sparkle mee-“The doctor stopped. He felt every ounce of happiness he had left leave him. “No …”