Diamond Tiara is stuck with her three worst enemies over the course of the weekend. Not only is she generally unamused with the poverty around her, but she also has to keep problems of her own a secret.
Life is going well for Diamond Tiara. Her family is rich, her parents are nice, she has at least one friend who appreciates money like she does, and now that her parents leave for one whole weekend, she has a whole villa for herself and Silver Spoon. Except that Silver Spoon is also gone for the weekend, and Diamond's parents don't trust her being alone. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but when they decide to leave her over with some old friends of the family, who are also a tadbit poorer than what she's used to, everything just may go south.
Now, Diamond Tiara is stuck for two nights in a room with a pony she hates, and not only is this problematic in that she despises the Apple Family, but also that she has secrets she'd rather not let anypony know.
Have a Warning: Contains diapers, usage of such, apples and excessive amounts of ponies being poorer than Diamond Tiara. Proceed with Caution.
Step 1 ~ Mommy And Daddy, Making The Worst Decision
Step 1 ~Mommy And Daddy, Making The Worst Decision~
Finally stepping out of the bathroom was a relief, like it was every morning. Diamond Tiara especially enjoyed the feeling of a thoroughly soaked mane. The way it hung straight down amused her deeply, and the way it would stick to her coat looked funny in the mirror, too. Sadly, unlike a poor pony, she couldn’t just walk around any way she wanted. No; Diamond Tiara was a pony of high society, a pony with money, and therefore had to be presentable when she walked around. So she wrapped the towel around her head as best as she could, though the product of her labor collapsed in on itself almost immediately. Why couldn’t the towel come with tapes, too? If it worked for her diapers then it should work for terry cloth.
She tried to readjust the towel, and failed miserably, leaving her to grumble quietly as she moved herself down the hall of the place she called her home, her mane unkempt and damp.
The villa had hundreds of rooms, most of which were often occupied by guests of the house, though the ones on the ground level sometimes housed ponies who had yet to find themselves homes they could call their own. They and a few of the servants. Charity was the word her father used to describe why he kept strangers around. A pony of status was expected to treat those less fortunate with respect.
This day, however, the only ponies inside the house were she and her parents. Most ponies were off vacationing, enjoying the summer elsewhere. They were with families on their own, Diamond Tiara had been told, and she was kind of glad. Of all the things in life, having ponies around her, constantly nagging her about everything was about the most annoying. They should only nag her when she wanted to be the center of attention. Which was almost always anyways, but that didn't really matter. Still, there was one more reason why she thought it good to have nopony around.
As she walked past the doors towards the stairway, she took the feeling of the diaper against her thighs in. Annoying and embarrassing was how she'd usually describe it. Today, the soft padding was only going to be a major annoyance.
Diamond Tiara had been in diapers since her birth, as far she knew. Most of her lifetime she had spent thinking that she would just someday stop needing to wear them all the time. However, the day she got her cutie mark her parents had told her that it was a permanent thing. Not the best way to start her cute-ceañera, but at least Apple Bloom had been there to take some of the stress off her.
Thank Celestia for poor, dirty peasant blank flanks.
So, yes, she was a pony of high society and had taken the revelation with grace. Also, nopony had ever found out about it, except Silver Spoon, and she had been nice about it. As awful as that pony could be to those she didn’t like, as awesome she was to have as a friend.
Busts of old family members flanked the hallway leading to the stairway in the center of the corridor. She knew the names of all of them, but didn’t bother reciting them in her head as she passed them by. They were all old ponies with incredibly grim looks on their faces and beards styled in the most outrageous styles. The colors on them had recently been renewed, and their eyes stared with ferocity at the wall on the other side. Diamond Tiara liked the lightish blue tone it had, but the busts sure didn’t.
She walked down the green carpeted stairs, her eyes on the marble floor that awaited her below. It was the single best thing in the house. Everytime she stepped on it, the sound would echo through the entire house. One of the things she never tired of was jumping from one tile to another, letting the sound shatter everybody’s nerves around her. Why she did that? The answer to that was simple: Because she was rich and within their home, rich ponies could do whatever they wanted.
Today though, she didn’t feel like jumping the tiles, as there was nopony around to notice her and when she was alone with her parents, she’d rather be a good filly. They noticed her more when she behaved, Diamond had long since learned.
Quickly she turned, and moved through another door. Her steps still echoed, and the rustling of her padded garment was a constant companion on her way, much like the smell of the powder still lingered in her nose. It was one of the many reasons why she liked mornings. The smell of talcum powder added to the feeling of a day diaper. With what little enjoyment she got out of her ailment, Diamond Tiara had long since decided that a fresh diaper was first thing she could find positive every morning. Be it the lighter feeling compared to what she wore at night, or the smell, even the soft crinkling sounded pleasant when there was nopony else around to hear it.
The second thing, as stated before, was the sound of her hooves against the marble floor. She decided to later just dance right back across it. All in good fun.
And the third thing came after she passed through another door, another room, another hallway. The walls were painted in many colors and pictures of happy ponies grinned down upon her. She and her parents, all the servants, some of the ponies who had stayed here for longer times, teachers, friends of the family, extended family. There were more busts with more fancy beards too. This time it seemed like each and every one of them tried to outdo the other. Just the whole progression made her much, much more happy. The last bust on the right of the hallway then had the most exquisite beard, with Diamond Tiara stopping before and looking at it.
This was the fourth thing she enjoyed every morning: The beard. Sometimes, she and Silver Spoon would just sit in front of it for hours and stare into the endless abyss of its complexity. The very notion of its existence always sent shivers down her spine and every single day it looked like the beard had changed, some detail, only miniscule yesterday, now a primary sight. Sometimes, she tried to find the pony behind the beard, but only found it to be more. It was an endless spiral, a void that left her mind whirling around in the darkness, unable to comprehend the truth behind it. The beard was beyond Diamond Tiara’s understanding. The beard was above the gods themselves.
Even today she stared at it for what must have been a few minutes, discovering new hairs, new details, and something she presumed to be a tiny railway for beard people. Diamond Tiara took that as a good omen and turned around, to the final door. This one was one of the smaller ones in the house, but made up for it with golden vines stretching across it and a door latch made out of a diamond that fell from the heavens themselves. She pulled its brilliant blue down and opened the gateway to a large room, with a table that stretched from one end of it to the other.
Diamond Tiara went past it to a second, much smaller round table, where her parents sat. The big one was for feasts and when a lot of ponies were in the room, using it for only the three of them would have been too excessive.
Her father looked his usual self, his black hair drawn back with the help of wax, his eyes droopy from pulling another all-nighter. And her mother? The pale lime green unicorn with the brown and amber mane was laughing at the cartoon at the end of the newspaper. That, or the obituary. Either usually made her day.
Banner Bright let out another giggle as Filthy Rich – who, for the sake of his dignity, shall henceforth only be referred to as Rich – sipped on his cup of coffee, his eyes slowly wandering over to his daughter, who gave him the brightest smile she could muster.
“Hey, princess,” he said, sounding like he hadn’t slept in two days.
By now, Diamond Tiara could measure how long it had been since he last slept. “Hey dad.”
Her mother looked up, spotting the diaper. “Judging from your attire, I presume you had, for once, no problem dressing yourself?” She asked with a playful smile.
Diamond Tiara blushed. She had messed up diapering quite a few times back when she didn’t have her cutie mark, but that had been back then, not now, not recently. “I’m already close to being fully grown up, of course I can dress myself,” she said defiantly as she put her rump down by the table.
Her mother smiled and ruffled Diamond Tiara’s hair. “Don’t go full-grown up, kiddo. You’ll only end up like a certain zombie.”
Rich sighed. “Darling, I told you, brains are a very healthy diet. And, unlike you, I, as a zombie, apparently don’t need to check my weight every half-a-day.”
“Zing!” Banner exclaimed. “Low blow, Filth~y, hurting an innocent filly like that.”
“Sorry to say, but you’re a mother, you’ve been for so long that your daughter grew out of two different kinds of diapers already, and is apparently big enough a filly to change them herself,” now he was ruffling her mane. "Whatever innocence remains, I've not seen it, ever."
All that attention made her blush more and more, but she tried to divert her attention to the cocoa, the bread, and the glass of chocolate on the table. While her parents playfully bickered on, she started her day in a way that would make most dentists cry. Though she was pretty much an adult already, she still tried to dig up as much chocolate as possible from the glass and spread it across a loaf of bread in a way that it dripped from the sides.
Every meal in the family went down prim and proper, except for breakfast. When her dad had slept he formed smiley faces out of the fruits on the table, and her mom would often ball up some tissues and throw them at the backs of some servants. It was the one meal where everypony took some pleasure out. It had been her mother’s ideology to start a day with as much fun as possible, lest they all become stale and boring. That was a philosophy the filly could get behind.
Taking a bite out of her bread, Diamond knew she didn’t look proper now, but as long as she managed to keep the food close to her mouth and would not spread it across her torso everything would be just fine. Despite everything, she was always intent to be at her best. Her parents liked that, and they were paying so little attention to her that impressing them at every occasion was the most surefire way to have them be all over her.
It went on like every other morning for a bit, with her parents teasing each other while Diamond Tiara enjoyed her meal. In her opinion, every morning could go like this, really. A look to the diaper ruined the mood for her a bit, though.
She had grown up with this, so it wasn’t like she couldn’t deal with the problem, but the solutions were rather problematic. At least under normal circumstances. Diamond Tiara looked up again. “It’s friday, right?”
Her mother, chewing and then swallowing a blade of grass, nodded. “Yes, sweetie.”
“That means you’ll be leaving today, right?”
“Yup, so it seems,” her father said. “Sorry to leave you alone again. Business tends to be busy around this time of year.”
Diamond Tiara shook her head. “It’s no problem.”
And it wasn’t. Her parents often left her alone, or rather they let Silver Spoon’s parents play housekeepers. Having her friend stay over was always the best of times, since she could run around the house the whole day and never needed to don that blasted tiara. It never made her feel right, even though her parents had said that it was the best solution money could buy.
“So,” she asked, smiling, “when’s Silver Spoon coming over?”
Banner Bright tilted her head slightly. “Kiddo, we talked about this, Spoony and her family are out of town.”
Oh, that’s right, Diamond Tiara thought, a frown appearing for a second as she thought of what could be done instead. An imaginary light bulb went on above her head as the infinite truth of the cosmos spread itself out before her and the vast darkness of nescience dispersed. There was but one answer for this sort of situation, since she had a cute mark now and all.
Her parents had finally decided that she was old enough to stay alone at home. Diamond Tiara struck a winning pose. “Yeah!”
Giving her another look of confusion, her parents simply stared as the girl silently congratulated herself on conquering time itself and defeating the beast that was “being the child in the house”. Finally, ponies would acknowledge her opinions on all matters, she could open, like, a hundred bank accounts, and not only that, no, she could buy all the cake she wanted and nopony had any authority to stop her from it. No wait, she could buy herself a whole bakery, and then she could just eat the cake right after it was done. Clearly, there existed no better thing an adult could do, and she was proud of herself to be the first to come up with that.
Immediately, she jumped up from the table did a small victory dance in celebration. The plan had been that, when the day would come, she and Silver Spoon would do it, since the entire choreography was based around a partner. Well, they couldn’t all be winners.
“Sweetie, aren’t you a bit too happy about your friend not being here?” Rich asked deadpan.
Diamond Tiara simply moonwalked on the spot. “I’m finally staying here home alone. This is the best day ever.”
“But you’re not,” Banner said, a sly smile on her face.
Diamond Tiara stopped immediately, looking at the two of them, her look as blank as her mind. “Wha?”
“Don’t stop your dance, sweetie, it’s adorable, though you could use a partner for that choreography,” Diamond’s mother told her before she put a flower in her mouth.
“You’re not old enough that we could leave you here alone,” her father said, almost amused at the thought, though Diamond Tiara only saw the image of a mountain of cakes. And it was running away.
“B-but …”
Her father laughed. “Oh don’t worry, princess, we’ve asked some old friends of the family and they thought it quite the nice idea to have you over. They even got a daughter that’s in your class.”
Diamond Tiara’s thoughts ran wild at that moment. Who could they be talking about? Twist’s family? She didn’t want to stay with Twist, that filly spoke funny and wasn’t cool like DT was. Dinky? Her mother had the same reputation as a wrecking ball, and the filly herself had delusions of grandeur that scared Diamond Tiara.
“You’re going to stay with the Apples over the weekend,” her father said with a sagely nod.
And for a moment, deep in her mind, Diamond Tiara found herself on a marble floor, dancing in whirling twirls, every step echoing across the hall. For one second she was a dancer, alone in a hallway. A tango was playing in the background, and the emotions were running wild. She danced, she pranced, she was elegant and everything was wonderful. Everything was perfectly fine, there, in the depths of Diamond Tiara’s mind.
As far as the beginning of the day was concerned, Diamond Tiara was already done with the rest of the month. It was one thing when her parents thought her too immature to watch over the house, but a whole other that they simply forwent the fact that she didn’t even like the Apple Family.
“We’re aware of your little feud with Smith’s granddaughter, dearie,” her father had told her with a sigh, clearly not getting that this wasn’t just a little feud, “but this is the best solution for everypony involved, and that Applejack grew up to be one of the most trustworthy ponies in town.”
As she opened her saddlebags to put in her toothbrush, towel and assorted things, Diamond Tiara recounted those words. Her daddy always talked about how the ponies they left her with their trustworthy, and she was probably more aware of the why when he was. Walking to school every single day, not knowing what might happen and whether anypony would ever find out about her problem was draining as it was, but rich ponies also had their reputation to worry about. Diamond Tiara had to always be at her best, and the fact that she couldn’t do something so simple as use a toilet properly could be soul crushing if dwelled upon.
“Everything’s gonna be fine,” she told herself, and turned towards what else she had laid out to take with her.
For one there was this incredibly awesome (and incredibly wordy) comic book she got from Silver Spoon, which she hadn’t even started to actually read yet. Atop that she had placed the friendship diary she and Silver Spoon kept, so that this horrible weekend would never go unforgotten, and atop that rested her trusted plush toy, a cactus by the name of Humphrey. Now, Humphrey wasn’t her usual first choice as a plush when sleeping over at somepony else’s place, but he was the only one who might function as a makeshift weapon – For self defence only, of course.
He was nowhere near as piercy as a normal cactus, but his presence alone would hopefully have some sort of demoralizing effect. Kinda like one of the spells her mom’s mage used during those late night roleplaying sessions. Yeah, Diamond Tiara thought, that would be awesome.
Otherwise there wasn’t much she could take with her. She was half-debating to take her nightgown, just to be sure. It was already getting into the warmer seasons and Winter-Wrap Up had long since passed, but she always enjoyed the feel of expensive fabric against her coat. There were those reasons, and that it might cover her rear during the night. Diamond Tiara took that as a reason to pack it, finding her bags full even before she could get to the medical supplies. Not that that was entirely unexpected, since she always had a separate bag for those.
Timing was always important when staying over at another pony’s place. Diamond Tiara tried to keep everything around her condition as orderly as possible, since that was the mature thing to do, and so she had a clear plan of when she would change. Her father had told her that he’d drop her off at the acres somewhere around eleven O’clock, which meant she’d go through two more diapers before nighttime. The filly took a moment as she calculated how many more she needed to pack, before reaching a conclusion.
She kept her diapers on two shelves in her cabinet. The higher one was for daytime, the lower one for nighttime ones. Tiara grabbed herself nine for the day and three for the nights. As she did so, she felt her stomach turn. Three whole nights she had to spend over there. Hopefully she wouldn’t end up in the same room as Apple Bloom. And even if, at least the other two blank flanks won’t be there, she concluded. The world wouldn’t be that cruel to her. Not ever.
Her medical bag had been a gift from a distant relative in Manehattan, Coco something. It was colored rose, with the fastener’s styled like Diamond Tiara’s cutie mark. Another good thing about this condition, Diamond thought, not really understanding why she told that herself, but figured that it was simply due to the fact that there were an awful lot of positives about this.
No matter, she crammed the diapers into the bag, followed by a bottle of powder. As far as health care went, this was plenty already, and so she closed the fastening shut and turned back to the rest. Basically, she had packed everything and Humphrey, and that meant only one thing was missing.
Her eyes turned to her window and her table by its side. The pink piece of furniture stood there in all its beauty, atop it all her gear for hoof-, coat- and manecare. Not only that, but also the one thing she disliked most about her life, despite it being shaped like her cutie mark. The tiara.
She moved across her room with quick steps and stopped before the table. On the wall above it hung her mirror, in which she got a good look on herself. Diamond Tiara, the little princess who had outgrown two types of diapers already and would probably outgrow at least one or two more. A young filly who never could be herself outside the walls of her home. However, she was a pony of high society, and that meant she wouldn’t fret. The filly decided that she would ensure to come out of this with her reputation not only intact, no, she would come out even better than before. After all, fooling somepony like a Apple Bloom was easy, she had done that since the days of kindergarten.
A brave smile formed on herself as she grabbed the tiara. Before she put it on, however, she checked herself, finding that she wasn’t in an immediate need to change. She could keep to the schedule, she would conquer the Apple Family’s farm, and she would do so looking like the cute little princess that she was. She started humming a dramatic melody as she slowly lifted the tiara upon her head. She liked to imagine it like being crowned after ascending the throne, with thousands of ponies cheering at her and every being in the universe bowing before her eternal might. Or something along those lines.
The moment the princesses’ crown touched her head, Diamond Tiara felt a chill run down her body and something of an itch at the back of her head appearing and then fading away with the seconds. This was the part she hated, actually, this short moment when the illusionary magic took hold over her body and let any hint of her condition fade into obscurity. Diamond Tiara wasn’t a pony to bother herself with unnecessary details, but she was aware that this was the most expensive solution on the market, and had therefore to be the best.
But now the diaper was out of sight, and she could admire herself for who she should be. Diamond Tiara, the richest and coolest filly in town, heir to one of the wealthiest enterprises in all of Equestria. Yes, she could and would do this, and if all else failed: She had a cactus plushie with her.
Her mother was busy getting her own stuff ready for the journey, so Rich walked his daughter across town. Ponyville was a small town, so most ponies knew each other. Sure, there was always one face without name and often a stranger would come up and pretend they were best drinking buddies with everypony, even if those ponies hadn’t been allowed anywhere near cider at their age, which actually was pretty unfair, since everypony got to line up for it and even Apple Bloom got to be there and–
Diamond Tiara felt herself seething already, but did her best to ignore the itch on the back of her head. It felt like a bug dancing polka up and down, and the thought of that thing ruining her imaginary self’s mane in the process didn’t light her mood up one bit. By this point, she was practically looking forward to throw some insults in Apple Bloom’s general direction, just to get it out of her system. Then again, that might also backfire, considering she would be on enemy territory.
“Why do I have to stay over at the Apples?” She asked as they walked down the townsquare, putting the best whine into her voice.
Her father, who was also carrying her medical supplies, first greeted Lyra Heartstrings, a hobo of the silent variety, with a nod before he answered his daughter. “Because we’ve been friends with them since my grandfather’s generation and, as I stated before, I can’t just leave my little princess with anypony.”
The smile he gave her was a well-trained one, it easily obscured the fact that he was running on coffee and probably dark magic, if he had taken Banner Bright’s advice. Though she doubted it, becoming a lich over lack of sleep just seemed stupid. No matter, she at least knew that the smile was honest in its intent, since her daddy loved her more than his image.
“Okay,” she said, though her mood wasn’t lifted by the trust Rich put into that family.
They remained quiet over the course of the walk, and, as everyday, the illusion worked well enough that Diamond herself almost forgot that she was wearing diapers. Normally, she would just let that be and push it into the back of her head, but right now it was still nagging at her, like a bad mark on a test, hidden beneath hundreds of other papers so it would never be signed. Yet, she knew better than talk about it with Ponyville around her.
But when the time came and they entered the avenue that led straight to Sweet Apple Acres, the first thing she did was ask the question. “What if Apple Bloom finds out about my problem? She’ll tell the whole class, and I’ll never be able to show my face in Ponyville again. I’ll probably become a hobo like that Lyra and need to play my tiara all day long in order to live on.”
Her father grimaced. “First off: Lyra Heartstrings is not a hobo, she has recently found quarters of her own. Secondly: You can’t play a tiara, your special talent isn’t the ability to do whatever you want with a tiara. Thirdly: I’m sure it’ll be fine. As said, the apples are old friends of ours, and Applejack has sworn that it’ll stay a secret.”
“You told her?” Now Diamond Tiara grew red as a tomato, not quite knowing what to say.
“Your mother did, actually. She arranged for this whole thing, like, yesterday. But yes, she knows.”
The sheer nonchalance with which he said those words was actually scaring Diamond Tiara quite a bit. She didn’t even know how to approach the acres now, just the thought of Apple Bloom’s sister knowing about her condition was ruining her day even further. Why would her father even talk to her without consulting Diamond first? Was this one of those usual adult small talk things. Would they usually go: “Oh, my daughter never stopped wearing diapers, and since she clearly has no dignity because of that, let me also show you some pictures.”
“Did mommy show her pictures?”
“Pictures?” Rich raised an eyebrow. “Why would she show Applejack pictures. She knows how you look, you’ve talked with her the last few hundred times we’ve been to the acres.”
“Didn’t she want proof? Who’d believe a filly my age still wears diapers, like a foal.”
Rich stopped in his tracks, and Diamond followed suit a second after, looking at him. “Sweetie,” he said, “I told you quite often before, you’re not a foal just because you wear diapers. Foals don’t have their cutie marks, foals aren’t able to clean their rooms, and no foal in the world is as smart as you, okay?”
Diamond Tiara gave but a short nod, not really having any proper answer for this.
“And since you’re quite mature already I need you to understand, that if the Apples are going to take care of you over the weekend, we didn’t want any surprises happening. In case anything happens, you can trust Applejack, BigMacintosh, and, if all else fails, there’s always Miss Smith. Me and your mother are trusting them, so I need you to trust them, too, okay?”
“Okay,” she lied, not really being okay with this. The look in his eyes told her that he saw through her completely.
Her daddy was almost as good at lie detecting as her mommy. Banner Bright’s second best talent was to discern a pony’s intention, which was one of the many reasons why she held a monopoly on banner sales in town. That and getting a monopoly on anything was quite easy in Ponyville.
Still, they moved on, until they finally reached that big, red building that stood between hundreds of apple trees. Anypony else would’ve called this house, the center of Sweet Apple Acres as majestic as the palace of Canterlot. The way it blended in with the rows and rows of trees could bring a tear to one’s eye. Naturally, all Diamond Tiara saw was a tiny shack made out of rotting wood that reeked of discount prizes at the local woodshop. Considering there was no woodshop in Ponyville, that was quite a feat to achieve.
Diamond Tiara knew that this was the last chance for her to change her father’s opinion. “Do we have to do this, daddy? I’m really old enough to look after myself now.”
“Princess, let me be honest. If we had a smaller house, we could actually discuss that, but I’m not leaving my daughter alone in a house with four hundred rooms, if not more. The last thing I want is you getting lost on the third floor, having nopony to help you, and starving to death because there is a chance that there is no kitchen up there. I’m not sure, and I actually I’ve never been to the third floor of our house and there are rumours of a bear living in the fourth.”
Diamond Tiara blinked. “A bear?” She had never heard of that before.
“Yes, big, ugly bear. Why do you think you’re not allowed to go to the fourth floor?”
Diamond Tiara tilted her head, wondering whether she had ever even wondered about going to the fourth. Heck, she hadn’t even been to all the rooms on the first and second floor. Which made her think that her dad was probably right. What if she did get lost in the house? Yes, she could actually see his point, and that made her understand, for one brief moment, why she had to stay over at the acres. She understood up until a voice tore through her thoughts and she was reminded of the sort of ponies she was staying with.
“Howdy, Mister Filthy.”
It was Applejack, coming out of the house with a wide smile, greeting both of them by waving her hat around. The orange earth seemed awfully happy to see them and Diamond Tiara could almost smell the poverty off of her. Her father had to force a smile.
“For the millionth time, it’s Rich. The only mare allowed to call me by my first name is my wife,” he stated matter-of-factly.
“Ahahaha,” Applejack laughed, doing so with an ever present accent that was more annoying than Dinky talking of glorious conquests and the lamentations of the griffons or something. “Ah reckon’ she’s got quite a bit of fun with that, Mister Rich.”
Diamond Tiara had to tilt her head at that comment, though her father had the decency to blush. “Miss Applejack, my … My daughter?!” He stated, appalled at her bluntness.
“Ah got what I wanted anyway, seein’ ya’ll flustered is enough payment for me ta take ya daughter in,” she answered and looked to the filly. “Hey, Diamond Tiara.”
“Can’t you speak proper equine?”
A moment of silence passed and the two adults just stared at her. For a moment she wondered if she had said something wrong. It had been an honest question, and one that had been in the back of her head for quite a while. The Apples were the only ponies around town with any kind of accent, so one would expect them to adapt or something.
“It’s a northern accent, Diamond, since we Apples come from high up north. We never ditch our roots, so you have to put up with it,” Applejack finally answered with all the grace she could muster. Which, admittedly wasn’t much, considering she was a farm pony, but still Diamond Tiara nodded. That explanation served well enough for now.
“So, anyway,” Applejack then continued. “Ah guess y’all are here ‘cause of the sleepover?”
“Yes, that would be correct. I hope we don’t bother you or anything?”
“No, no, Rich, it’s fine. Diamond, ya can get in. Ya get to stay together with Apple Bloom, so ya two can do some bondin’.”
That’s bad, was all Diamond Tiara could think when she got that instruction.
“Oh, and the other crusaders are staying over tonight, too.”
Kill me now, was all Diamond Tiara could think when she heard that statement.
“And for dinner we’ll have some apple pie.”
I could dress Humphrey up as me and immigrate to Canterlot, was all Diamond Tiara could think when–, “Did you say pie?”
“Yes, yes I did.”
“Woohoo!” Diamond Tiara cried out. While it wasn’t quite on par with an entire bakery, she’d still count this as a victory.
“Well, how about you go upstairs an’ unpack yer things. Me an’ your dad need to talk through some stuff,” Applejack then proposed and Diamond Tiara nodded, having her morale raised high into the sky by the prospect of pie.
“But come back down afterwards, I still want to hug you at least once before I go,” Rich said before Diamond went through the door and into the dark mysteries of her enemy’s home. Yet the narration stayed fixed at this point, as Rich lifted the bag off his back and put it down on the ground. “As for us, that’ll be Diamond’s medical bag.”
“Ah, right,” Applejack said. “Kinda hoped Banner’d been jokin’ about that.”
Rich offered her a smile, “She may have a cruel sense of humor, but this isn’t one of her jests. Despite, it’s not half as bad as it seems.”
Applejack undid the fastening to spot the different diapers inside, only to give Rich a cold look. “Not half as bad? You’re not tellin’ me to check on her every hour or so?”
Rich laughed at that suggestion. “No, no. She can take care of this part herself. It’s not that me and Banner don’t think she’s unable to watch over herself for a weekend.”
“It’s about her relationship with Apple Bloom?”
The stallion nodded. “I’d like them to be friends, especially since Diamond isn’t friends in her age group with anypony but Silver Spoon. Honestly, with all that’s expected of a filly her age at these high class parties we attend, I’d love her to have some friends closer to earth, especially some who might accept her without some illusionary spell.”
Applejack sighed. “Ya know, why didn’t ya go to a doctor with it, anyway?”
“Miss Applejack, that’s what you usually do when your kid has a birth defect. The operation couldn’t fix it and now we’re stuck, trying to make the best out of it,” he told her, giving a smile.
She nodded. “Right, sorry if that got a little personal.”
“It’s fine. It’s in the past and we’re managing quite well. However, as penance, do make sure she keeps her changing schedule. She set it up herself, but, as kids go, is actually quite horrible at committing to it.”
Applejack sighed. “Sure, but ah’m not goin’ to check on her every few hours.”
“Neither should you. Apparently a long term illusion spell does a quite a number on the temper,” Rich laughed.
“Ah know, yer wife already told me ‘bout that, too.”
The mood was broken, however, as Diamond Tiara walked through the door again, her eyes held on the two. “I’m done,” she announced, “but do I really have to sleep in one room with Apple Bloom?”
Applejack noted the suspicious way the filly was eyeing at her, but by this point she could excuse that sort of behaviour, even though this wasn’t going to be that funny a weekend.
“We ain’t got no other rooms for guests. Despite, it’ll be fun.”
Or at least Banner Bright must have thought this kind of scenario extraordinarily amusing, since she had masterminded this weekend into happening. Of course, she was also staying far away in Trottingham in a business meeting, so that was that. Applejack just tried to give Diamond Tiara an enthusiastic smile, while the filly’s father nodded in agreement.
“Just remember, you’re a big filly, you’re my daughter. I’m sure you’ll be able to handle anything they’ll throw at you,” Rich said finally. “And it’s time that I’ll get on with it, too.”
Applejack, who was still used to seeing Diamond Tiara around the other students, was a bit surprised at how quick the filly pulled her father into a hug. Filthy, being the sentimental kind of stallion, answered with a hug of his own, stroking his daughter’s mane.
“I’ll see you on monday, princess.”
With that, the hug was ended. Filthy Rich excused himself and wished them a happy weekend before he finally turned away and walked back to his home, where surely his wife would already wait for him. Their day would go on, and so would Diamond Tiara’s. As far as Applejack was concerned, she wasn’t quite sure how things had ended up like this, but the prospect of Diamond Tiara not bullying her little sister anymore had been most intriguing. Now, all that was left was making that actually happen.
“Yup,” Applejack stated bluntly. “Yer secret’s safe with me.”
“You haven’t told Apple Bloom?”
“Ah wanted to leave that to ya–”
“Wonderful, she’ll never know,” Diamond Tiara stated with a laugh. “You promise to not tell her?”
“I … Don’t tell me yer plan is ta hide yer condition over the course of the whole weekend?” Applejack raised an eyebrow as she stared at this little filly whom she considered snobbish, to say the least.
“It’ll be hard, but, maybe, if you’d help me?”
Applejack blinked. She had never seen a war in her life. In fact, up until this point, most of her days she had spent with activities that involved apples. It was a peaceful and quiet way of living she had and so she didn’t quite know what to make of that filly asking her whether she’d join her army. Honestly, if she answered wrong now, she might kickstart events that might even doom the farm, for the wrath of children should never be underestimated. Then again, Apple Bloom had been very lazy about her chores as of late, preferring to stay around with her friends.
And, maybe she had talked to much with Rainbow Dash, Pinkie and Banner Bright, but it might actually help them get together if she got involved. Applejack weighed out those opinions carefully before she came to a conclusion.
“Ah won’t tell ‘er ‘bout yer condition, if ya can keep it civil in the house,” was what she decided on.
Safety first, Applejack thought, believing in the false hope that her farm would never be swallowed by any kind of chaos.
As far as bad days were concerned, Apple Bloom was just one thing short of ranking this one among the five worst she had to live through, ever. In a way, she would have loved this one more to happen, since it would mean that would mean she could finally put out that time she and her friends had played dress-up in Carousel Boutique. She could instead just pretend it never happened.
The day had started out well-enough. Up above Ponyville, the sun had laughed as it coated the land with mild temperatures and a clear sky had reigned throughout. Truly, as she had woken up, Apple Bloom had only barely been able to hold back the tears of happiness, for today had been a day without school. A rare weekend of three or four days, a chance for social activity and more than twelve hours of crusading around town. If she had ever considered herself luck, this must have been the day for it.
They had spent the majority of the day running around Ponyville, doing stuff like provoking bees to see who’d run away the quickest, selling melons for discounts previously unseen in Equestria, and serving the mayor as bodyguards. Then in the afternoon they had tried to liven up the tavern as bards, singing some jolly tunes about soldiers, lassies an’ cider, but had sadly been kicked out because neither had shown any clear talent with the fiddle. As they asked if they could at least fix the windows, steam had started to come out of Berry Punch’s ears. Now they were forbidden from entering the grounds.
That had been how the mighty crusaders’ fall from grace had started. The second thing had been when Rarity walked up to them and held some botched test before her younger sister’s face, demanding to know how one managed to mess up basic grammar. While the debate about moral rights and wrongs concerning the grammatical structuring of sentences had been something that would’ve made the sages of old weep with joy, it hadn’t ended well for Sweetie. The sweet lass’ was probably locked away in a far off tower, with the dragon teaching her comma rules.
Apple Bloom at least hoped that Sweetie could enlighten her about that on a later date.
Yet, with Sweetie gone it went from bad to worse as a creature shrouded in darkness had come upon their land and turned their clubhouse into its fortress of evil. Apple Bloom still remembered its armor of black steel and its flowing red mantle. It’s roaring laughter had echoed across the acres and left them standing there on the ground, wondering what to do.
In the end they had decided to go and tell Dinky’s mom that her raving mad daughter had taken their clubhouse, but that had been foiled when presented with the moral dilemma of becoming snitches. Honestly, between moral lessons learned and personal hubris, the hubris simply had to win out. Despite, Dinky was the kind of filly who spent her days conquering different locations with an imaginary army, hardly ever staying put. Her annexing the clubhouse would do her little good unless she somehow got the deed for the land, and that was sealed in a vault beneath Barn#4. Nopony would ever reach it.
Yet. that thought hadn’t done much to cheer her up, because as she and Scootaloo turned towards her home, laughing about how they’d have an awesome sleepover where they would do cool stuff like playing board games and spend time with Apple Bloom’s family the bad news befell them. Or rather, they came across Granny Smith who just returned from finishing her own stuff in town. Apple Bloom didn’t really know what Granny Smith did all day, but it was probably just that, old people stuff. Old people stuff was boring and not worthy of her attention.
“Ya know, considerin’ half the time you talk about school ya keep rantin’ about Filthy’s kid, ya seem really happy,” Granny Smith had said as they approached the farm, just after Apple Bloom had told her all the stuff she wanted to do in the evening.
Apple Bloom hadn’t understood what Granny Smith had meant, but she was an old pony and therefore talked nonsense sometimes. She had heard from various sources that old ponies did that sometimes, and Granny Smith hadn’t made much sense when she’d been younger. Truthfully, Apple Bloom had wanted to ask about the statement anyway, but the answer came without any words and could’ve been likened to an anvil dropping on her head.
It was one of the world’s truths that a pony named Filthy Rich couldn’t possibly be father to a saint. As a matter of fact, he was father to one of the most despicable ponies Apple Bloom knew. His daughter was arrogant, greedy, self-absorbed, obnoxious, and she was evil incarnate. That filly could be likened to a devil, a creature of such vileness that it could not possibly be held in the same esteem as any other pony. Yes, the beast named Diamond Tiara was the worst thing in Apple Bloom’s life and, by that logic, the one thing she enjoyed to never see much of after school.
“So, that’s why Diamond Tiara’s stayin’ over here for the weekend,” Applejack ended her announcement.
The sheer glee with which she had greeted her sister and the way she had explained the situation, Apple Bloom was almost tempted to think that her sister enjoyed the sheer surprise it produced.
“Ya told her that yesterday,” Granny Smith said with a bored expression.
“Ah did?”
“She did?”
All Diamond Tiara did during that exchange was stare between the three, silently questioning how much of a resolve she packed to endure this much northern accent. Probably not, but if Celestia willed it, she would endure. She didn’t really care for their petty arguments, and remained glad that Apple Bloom had only decided to appear late into the afternoon. That had given her time to prepare a strategy. Now nothing could stand against her.
“Well, doesn’t really matter. It’s been settled an’ unless you wan’ poor, little Diamond Tiara to sleep on tha street tonight, then–”
“That’s an option?” Apple Bloom burst out immediately, before Diamond Tiara had the chance to react. She had thought exactly the same thing, until her arch nemesis had spelled it out. Now she was just intent on staring daggers at her.
“Wha’? No, no. Of course it’s not. Ah was appealin’ to yer sense of integrity. Ya know, the one we Apples been pridin’ ourselves with fer generations?”
“Well ah think it shows great integrity towards ponies like Lyra tha’ there’s new company on the streets,” Apple Bloom answered swiftly.
“First: Lyra got herself a home recently, so ah don’t know what you’re insinuatin’, an’ two: Bein’ homeless is no joke. We Apples were homeless fer generations, and that had to be the worst time we e’er lived through, as Granny Smith will gladly tell ya.”
Granny Smith nodded sagely. “Ah remember it well. Free like birds we used to be.”
“See!” Applejack pointed with her hoof at the elderly pony, “She’s been heavily traumatized by it! So Ah want’cha to go an’ apologize to all the homeless ponies in Ponyville.”
“Now?” Applebloom whined, with Scootaloo just standing beside her and trying to figure out what was going on with this conversation.
“No, not now,” Diamond Tiara finally said. “I was promised pie, not a discussion on how bad it is to be poor.”
That was the only thing that was keeping her sane for now, the promised time upon which she could consume her pastries and forget about the miserable state the world, or rather her world, was in. Everypony else just looked at her for another second, completely dragged out of their rhythm. While this might have ended up as a bad thing, the timing was just perfect enough, so that at least Applejack would nod.
“Alright, pie is always good. And while we’re talkin’ about that, where’s Sweetie Belle, didn’t she want to stay over too?”
Scotaloo was the one who answered, “Rarity took her home.”
While Tiara could have actually embraced her for the absence of any accent, the young pegasus only glared at her, as if it was somehow her fault that the last of the cutie mark naggers wasn’t going to be available tonight. Honestly, it was one less annoyance to be dealt with so she should’ve been thankful. At least they would finally get down to dinner.
The key problem with staying at the house of a pony nopony with any kind of standing would like was finding things to like. It was one of the hardest things for Diamond Tiara to not simply dismiss whatever was put in front of her, even if they promised pie. While Diamond Tiara was fully aware that the Apples did have more tables hidden in the barn in case of a feast, she was also quite sure that their regular table was too small by half. The dishes alone took up so much space that they couldn’t even fit the pie on it. Were they just cheap or had the money honestly not been enough for a proper table.
She left that question unanswered as got her first slice served and grabbed knife and fork with the best elegance she could summon, leaving a stark contrast with her surroundings. There was a definite lack of class, especially as Diamond Tiara compared herself to her lovely seat neighbour Scootaloo. While Diamond Tiara could appreciate her speaking like any normal pony, just looking at her not even using her hooves to eat the pie, spattering bits and pieces of it around filled her with a disgust.
“Can’t you eat normally?” She asked Scootaloo, immediately hating herself for starting a conversation with the blank flank.
The pegasus looked up. “What’s it to you? At least I’m eating,” she said with a frown on her face.
“Well, you’re not helping my appetite.”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes, “You mean if I eat like this?” And leaned down once more, taking a slow bite out of the pie.
Bits fell out of her mouth as she slowly chewed, smacking her lips while doing so. Diamond Tiara took quick notice that everypony around the table had gone quiet and looked at Scootaloo, and Diamond knew that kind of look they had in their eyes. Score, was all she could think off.
“Scootaloo, stop eatin’ so noisily. We’re not pigs, ya know,” Granny Smith intoned, causing the Pegasus to drop her head.
“Yes,” she said quietly.
And it was all Diamond Tiara could do not to break out into a song and dance number about how much her manners exceeded those of her enemies. Since that would’ve not gone over well, she decided to just give Scootaloo a smug smile before she put a piece of pie in her mouth, carefully and elegantly.
Otherwise, the meal was strangely uneventful and quiet. Everypony was more busy eating than talking, and Diamond Tiara got a short glimpse at how Apple Bloom lived. Big Macintosh never talked much, but instead chowed down the pie with a speed that drove Diamond Tiara green with envy. She loved pie more than anypony, so how could there be someone better at eating them than she?
Applejack talked with Apple Bloom, but since Diamond Tiara tried to unhear that accent, she didn’t bother with the details of the conversation. For a pony who appeared to spend most of her time walking between trees and bucking them when necessary, she looked pretty energetic though. Diamond Tiara was almost tempted to blame her own appearance in the house. There only existed three pains who weren’t enlightened by her presence, Diamond thought, but that kind of comment only worked when she had Silver Spoon to work with.
Why are you gone over hills and far away, my one true friend? Her thoughts asked the air around her, which responded by doing the usual thing air did when someone talked to it: Nothing.
“Ya know, back when I was a filly, we had aunt Brown Snout makin’ some of the best pie south of the Frozen Mountains,” Granny Smith remembered aloud, giving a sigh, “Honestly Applejack, yer’s taste like dirt compared to those.”
“Well, thank you, that comment Ah needed,” Applejack answered with a frown.
“Ah know, that’s why Ah told ya.”
I wonder if I can unthink the accent? Diamond Tiara wondered for a moment, not really knowing what to else to do. The truth remained, however, that this cake was actually quite well made and tasted definitely different from dirt. Not that I should say that, Diamond Tiara thought. Trying to get a cutie mark in dirt eating hadn’t been their smartest idea back when they had still been blank flanks.
Still, the first evening went over peacefully, except that Scootaloo wasn’t happy at all with Diamond’s presence here. The pegasus kept glaring at her, while Diamond returned the favor with the smuggest of smiles she and her mother had come up with. Yet, there was a nervosity within her as the sun decided to slowly vanish behind the mountains. With night upon them, the only thing left was taking a shower and after that the game would start for real. Diamond Tiara had a plan, however, and if it worked, then she promised herself to spend the entirety of this month’s pocket money on milkshakes.
It wasn’t as earth shattering a revelation as she had expected, but it still left her both perplexed, mildly amused and quite disappointed: The Apples had warm water in their shower. Diamond Tiara had no specific reason on her mind, but it was maddening that she had one thing less she could tease Apple Bloom with. If this was how it felt to see your life’s work crumble down before you, then it was underwhelming, to say the least, more annoying than anything else even. On the other hoof, at least she could have a proper shower and wouldn’t need to go to bed looking like a popsicle of unidentifiable flavor.
If she was being completely honest with herself, until now everything was working fine, except that she had to spend the night with two ponies she couldn’t stand. Diamond could imagine this sucking even under abnormal circumstances, like, an alien invasion taking place, being stuck in a constant time loop, or Scootaloo and Apple Bloom suddenly switching races. Really, no matter how you set this gig up, it would always suck, and if her parents weren’t all like: “You need to socialize with our dear friends,” she would’ve left immediately. The things you do for love, she acknowledged grimly as she turned the water off, probably ten minutes after she had stepped into the bathroom.
They had some hope in her managing all of this, and if the worst would come, she could always bribe her way out of the situation. Applejack seemed to be pretty down to earth, so Diamond Tiara could maybe give her three bits per month and then she’d ground Apple Bloom forever, therefor keeping the secret secret. Scootaloo would then be too frightened to say anything, and if she did get any bold ideas, Diamond only needed to remind her of what grim fate was awaiting her.
Maybe she should write a song for that occasion, “The Bloom of Sweet Apple Acres” or something along those lines. That sounded intimidating, and intimidating was good.
Diamond Tiara thought things like that as she proceeded to dry herself with a towel. The worst part of showering always was getting the coat to a state where it wouldn’t leave a river upon leaving the bath, and getting there could take as long as the showering itself. Other ponies didn’t have that much of a problem with it, Diamond could imagine, but she didn’t really enjoy her rump on display for an overly long time. It came with the territory, she figured, what with not being able to discern when she had to go and when not, but the rationalization alone only made her feel only worse. Being in a stranger’s home, she decided not to go with quality for her coat’s treatment–on the morrow, it would be a mess again anyway–and instead just made sure that she wasn’t drooping from every part of her body.
She had managed to be reasonably quiet when taking her last diaper off, and now she managed to be reasonably quiet as she got a second one out of her bag. Nopony had asked anything when she had gotten all her utensils into the bathroom, though Scootaloo had looked at her somewhat sceptical. At least the pegasus had done the right thing and assumed that Diamond was so rich, that she had an entire bag full of rich pony stuff for bathing. That was as plausible an excuse as any and she had managed to throw in a line about being amazed that Scootaloo knew about showers. Now that she spread the padding on the floor, Diamond Tiara thought that she should’ve added something like, “since you’re apparently trying to get a cutie mark in being a dirty peasant”.
“I honestly need to rub my wealth in their noses more often,” Diamond Tiara said with a frown, but immediately thought better of it, “well, maybe when they finally do get their cutie marks.”
Certain types of ammunition for certain kinds of situations. Plus, it would be so great when these cutie mark crusaders would feel safe and warm, only to have all their hopes crushed by Diamond Tiara’s godlike wit. The smug smile stayed throughout the process of getting herself ready for the night, even if her thoughts were broken now and then by oncoming fears. Like waves they came on her mind. What if they discovered her secret? What if they would tell everypony? What if her parents would actually be disappointed because of she hadn’t managed to hide it properly? What if all of this was just a large test? What if they already knew and were just playing around?
The thing that kept her from breaking into a vicious circle of questions was one simple fact: Diamond Tiara was sure of herself, and her skills. Yes, she could manage two crusaders, even without Silver Spoon to back her up. There was absolutely nothing that would go wrong.
She put her nightgown on, blessing herself for thinking of packing it, and finished of with her tiara. She liked how she looked in the mirror, the glamor made her rump seem more slender than it was with the padding, and the nightgown was what it was. It had been made by Sweetie Belle’s sister, and had been inspired by the dresses of the Canterlot elite. Dressed in fine silks and wearing a tiara on her head, Diamond felt the dire need to address herself as “princess” just to see how it would feel. But, the cutie mark pests could listen in and she did have a reputation to keep.
Still, she took one look at her mirror image, for one to check whether the glamor did its usual work, and to squee at how regal she looked. It was a sad day that there was nopony to appreciate it, or anypony she would have liked appreciation from. But then, just noticing how she looked was kind of irritating. Not that she didn’t think she looked stunning, but it felt like a waste too. Being stuck here among enemies really put her mood to a test, it dampened whatever happiness her attire brought out and made her grimace fierce. Diamond Tiara didn’t quite know who to blame for this situation. Her parents for even sending her? Her best friend Silver Spoon for going on a vacation just when she needed her the most? Maybe just the crusaders, like always?
Yeah, the usual suspects were also the easiest targets. She felt the spell weighing down on her, and was glad she could at least put the tiara down shortly, since the magic was starting to go to her head by now, and she grinded her teeth in annoyance. This day couldn’t be done soon enough.
Scootaloo had tried to tell herself that this was going to be an awesome weekend, and then Sweetie Belle had called it off. Nevertheless, it had still been her and Apple Bloom. There wasn’t much that could’ve gone wrong with that combo–no, correction–there wasn’t anything that could’ve go wrong with that combination. Sure, the Cutie Mark Crusaders worked at their best when all three of them were present, but that carefully established balance was maintained with nothing more but extreme friendship. On all accounts, this should have been at least a decent weekend.
Accommodations had been made, but nopony was happy with them. Not Diamond Tiara, not Apple Bloom and, of course, not Scootaloo. How could she be happy? The moment that prissy good-for-nothing had stepped into the picture, even Miss Cheerilee appearing for a surprise test could not have been worse. Unless it was a history test, she was close enough to failing grade on that front already. Yeah, if she had to choose between a history test and Diamond Tiara, Scootaloo couldn’t quite decide which was the lesser evil.
“Why am I sleeping on the floor?” Diamond asked with that annoying voice of hers. Scootaloo would’ve loved to stuff an apple in her mouth, just to shut her up.
“Because there’s not enough room for three ponies on my bed,” Apple Bloom lied as boldly as she was able to.
Diamond only frowned at her. “I didn’t mean I wanted to sleep in one bed with you,” she said, acid dripping from her every word, “that’s icky. I just don’t see why I’ve got to sleep on …”
The filly merely pointed at the heap of straw that had been placed together with a blanket and a pillow right in the middle of the room. Compared to a bed it wasn’t much, but from experience Scootaloo knew that it was comfortable enough. Her own parents often said that “back in their days” all ponies slept on straw and beds were only owned by the princesses, and nopony ever appreciated anything anymore. Of course, there was more to that particular lecture than Scootaloo cared to recount, but at the heart of it she truly couldn’t see any reason why Diamond seemed to be upset about this.
Neither did Apple Bloom, who just looked at Diamond Tiara, a most curious expression on her face. “Uhm, are you allergic to hay?”
“What? Of course not, you dimwit,” Diamond Tiara said, rolling her eyes.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo stood right across the room by the door, and Diamond stood before her bed. There wasn’t much distance between them, and this might just become the chance to finally punch that stupid foal right in the face. Nopony took that kind of tone with her friends.
While she could barely contain her anger, Apple Bloom took the insult much better and took a deep breath. “I didn’t even know you were coming, so of course I couldn’t have prepared much else. You can always sleep outside if you want, it’s gonna be a starry night. Lyra said that it’s good to be homeless on a starry night.”
“Your sister said she’s got a house now, though,” Scootaloo threw in, sure that Lyra was more happy with a roof above her head.
“Yes,” Diamond Tiara agreed, “and probably an actual bed. You know, with a mattress? Like the one you’ve got?”
Apple Bloom grumbled something and gave Scootaloo the evil eye. “I’m not siding with her,” the orange pegasus said immediately as she noticed that, “I was just pointing out that Lyra’s no longer sleeping among trash cans. You, however, can gladly sleep among them.”
She gave Diamond Tiara a stern look, leaving the filly to stare at her open-mouthed. Then, Scootaloo turned back to her friend, trying to smile.
After she had spoken, silence took the room, a silence only broken by the sound of Diamond Tiara grinding her teeth as her face twisted with rage. She shook, and Scootaloo thought there might’ve been a tear in her eye. But that was it, she turned around with a huff and puff, trying to make herself comfortable.
“Whatever,” Diamond Tiara said, pretending–and failing–to sound nonchalant about it, “I’m not in the mood to fight with you babies, anyway. So do me a favor and keep quiet now.”
This was going to be a horrible weekend, Scootaloo had thought from the moment she had spotted Diamond Tiara, but now? Both she and Apple Bloom were glaring fiercely at the other foal, who was far too well-dressed for somepony about to head to bed, but suddenly it dawned upon the orange pegasus. They had never seen Diamond Tiara in an environment that put the rich filly at a disadvantage. She had a knack for appearing just at the right time to rub mud in their wounds, to say something vile and then disappear again. But the foal never stayed long in the picture, the most they had to deal with her had been during her tenure as head of the school newspaper. Scootaloo remembered even that as a situation where Diamond Tiara was in a position where she could lord over them, but right now, she had to try and keep her tongue.
The tables had turned.
She turned to Apple Bloom, a new smile on her face. The earth pony returned it knowingly, because it wasn’t hard to know what the other was thinking in this particular situation.
“Alright,” Apple Bloom said as she turned back to Diamond Tiara, “it’s bedtime anyway, so goodnight to you.”
They had originally intended to stay awake till midnight or so, get a cutie mark at doing all-nighters or something, but that couldn’t be done with Diamond Tiara here. If they did anything crass, she’d talk to Applejack, and Applejack would ground Apple Bloom before telling Scootaloo to ground hers. Then Diamond Tiara would tease them with a song about it, probably with a title like “The Apple And The Chicken Fair”–worse yet, she’d probably think herself intimidating. Diamond Tiara feeling good about herself wasn’t on either filly’s agenda, so the decision to go to bed early was made entirely rationally.
They both went to the shower quietly, and they both hid beneath the covers quietly and then there was nothing. Outside, the sun had vanished beyond the horizon, leaving the stars blazing in the sky while the moon hid from the everypony’s sight. Scootaloo felt herself looking at the ceiling from the moment Apple Bloom had put out the light. Nopony was talking in the room. Maybe they could’ve attempted to make a conversation with Diamond Tiara, but just her presence was a poison to the mood. So they were left doing whatever they were going to do.
Diamond Tiara had put down her tiara only after the light had gone out, and then gotten something else out of her bag, probably out of a plastic bag or something, considering there was a light crinkle to be heard. After that noise had stopped there had only been the sound of talking in the distance, of Applejack’s and Granny Smith’s laughter as BigMac used the rare opportunity to get some cider for himself. Scootaloo had heard that he tended to get a ton more wittier once he downed a keg or two. She half-regretted not being down there with them, and Apple Bloom did so too, and the pegasus filly had to wonder why she was even staying. Tired wasn’t really a good word to describe her current condition. There was enough energy left in her to last for a few hours at least, surely enough to crawl down and just listen to her friend’s family being silly.
Maybe she and Apple Bloom could’ve even planned something out for the remainder of the weekend, now that they apparently had Diamond on the backfoot. Yet, she didn’t move, neither did. Neither made a sound, instead Scootaloo just looked at the ceiling, her eyes slowly growing accustomed to the darkness. A bit of time passed, the sounds from outside started to subside, and then, after a few more moments, Applejack quietly opened the door, taking a peek into the room. The light from the hallway made Scootaloo turn to the side, to where she found Diamond Tiara lying.
For a moment there was silence.
Apple Bloom’s soft breathing was interrupted by a quick snore, like it did every now and then, and then a mumble. Tonight she urged the bears to stop hugging her, because they were too fluffy. That happened every now and then. Scootaloo noticed it, and at the same time didn’t. She knew Apple Bloom’s sleeping patterns well enough to not care, but her eyes were wide open nonetheless. One ray of light, cut through the darkness, right along the fillies, and Applejack presumably noticed the same thing Scootaloo did. Honestly, it wasn’t hard to notice, not at all, since, apparently, whatever sleeping patterns Diamond Tiara had, subtle, they were not.
The filly had kicked off the wool blanket the apples had given her, an act Scootaloo could understand, now that she noticed what blanket it was. For this time of year, it was one too thick. In and of itself that, of course, shouldn’t have presented any sort of problem. Scootaloo wouldn’t even have taken a second glance at Diamond Tiara, yet the unicorn had managed to somehow roll around enough so much, that her gown decided to only cover what was above her flanks. Even that wouldn't have kept Scootaloo's attention, but when the first thing one saw on their sleeping arch-nemesis was a plain white, padded garment usually worn by infants, did something like a proper response even exist?
No, no. It did in fact not.
She heard Applejack take a step into the room, probably having seen the same thing Scootaloo had. The filly reacted almost instinctively, closing her eyes, pretending to sleep. Luckily, Applejack didn’t seem to care about her, walked straight past the bed, with cat-like elegance.
“Well, this is off to a good start,” the mare whispered quietly and presumably put the blanket back over Diamond Tiara. “Well, good thing y’all are asleep, wouldn’t want the others to notice”
Internally, Scootaloo was screaming. She knows!
Whatever was up with Diamond, Applejack knew about it, and nervosity took over. Should she open her eyes? Applejack hadn’t noticed her awake, Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara were both walking through Luna’s realm. Should she inquire, or keep pretending?
She wasn’t equipped to handle a situation like this. How should she be? It wasn’t like she had expected any quick developments like … like this! Her heart was beating against her chest and she was shaking, mainly because she had absolutely no idea how to even process what she had seen. A filly her age couldn’t really be in diapers, they were already going to school. And despite, Diamond Tiara hadn’t worn any as they’d went into bed. It wasn’t like these things magically appeared once a filly fell asleep.
Except, what if they did?
Scootaloo felt the dire need to turn around and check whether one had appeared on Apple Bloom, just to make sure, but decided to make her move only after Applejack had cleared the room.
Which she did seconds after, having moved to the door again without Scootaloo even noticing. “Good night y’all, and pleasant dreams,” she whispered and as the mare shut the door, Scootaloo’s eyes opened wide.
She immediately turned around and pulled the on the covers, trying to spot something in the darkness beneath. She didn’t see anything, but quite frankly, Apple Bloom was sleeping close enough that she should have noticed a friggin’ diaper appearing out of nowhere. No, first off, why would that even happen? Scootaloo shook her head and threw her head back on the pillow. She went back to staring at the wall then, her eyes turning back to where Diamond Tiara was peacefully sleeping. She had hugged a plush toy, Scootaloo now recalled, but that wasn’t terribly unusual, the pegasus had an awesome alligator herself. Gummy, an actual alligator, even seemed to like him. But no, the plush toy wasn’t the problem.
The problem was that she had just seen something extraordinarily strange, and maybe, just maybe, finally a way to pay Diamond Tiara back for all that bullying. Her heart was racing and she was sure to not get any sleep tonight, as she still tried to understand the fundamentals behind it, but one thing Scootaloo was very sure of: Nopony else in their school still wore diapers.
There now was a chance that this would become a fairly good weekend.
The morning’s start could have easily been compared to a pig’s first attempt at flying. Either horrifyingly adorable or horrifically gruesome, and it all depended on the point of view. Diamond Tiara herself found the latter to be her sentiment. What sane person liked waking up on straw, the summer sun still only reaching up from beyond the horizon, and the blanket that should’ve covered them kicked to the other side of the room and the blasted undergarment soaked?
The only relief she was able to find was in the fact that Scootaloo’s experience with Apple Bloom’s snoring must’ve kept her from waking up, and the yellow, dirt-poor pony seemed to busy dreaming about being a cute little bunny (conqueror of the grasslands). Neither being awake allowed her to quickly make a run for the bathroom and get herself sorted out, however. So that was one good thing.
Once in the bath, she found some time to admire her bedhead, which lightened the mood considerably. Looking good was great and all, but her mane tended to look ridiculous in the mornings. The way the strands twisted in every direction reminded her of the beard.
For a moment she wondered whether she should just keep it the way it was? Maybe rub some dirt into it and play bush outside. She felt in the mood to do something ridiculous outside and since there were no marble floors to dance across, no servants to annoy, her options fell short.
She smiled at the thought though, being a bush and scaring all those who came by. Her father had first taught her that game, and when they had first played it both Pinkie Pie, Derpy and, strange as it was, even Mayor Mare had joined in. It had been a glorious day, and apparently they had managed to foil some sort of world-conquering scheme of Dinky’s.
“Today isn’t going to be fun like that,” she told her mirror image, spotting the reflection of her diaper in it.
I don’t want to wear that blasted tiara, she thought, grumbling to herself. The headaches were a pain, but she didn’t look like a baby with it on. And wearing it won’t change the fact that I need a change.
Rolling her eyes, she got to it, going so far as throwing the rolled-up diaper in an extra trash bag that she then stuffed into her diaper bag. Nopony would ever find out about it. As for her new one, she chose one of the thinnest she had for wear. It wouldn’t be pleasant day here, but she needed to minimize the damage the incontinence did to her looks.
On a personal note, Diamond Tiara thought it not that bad. Being herself made looking good easy, but she was aware that others would not share her mindset. This was the kind of thing that could make her street cred to plummet into the depths of Tartarus, and no money would ever save her.
Yeah, right, she thought, snorting. There was actually no situation money couldn’t fix.
Then she remained for a few minutes more. The window was open and through it she could hear the chirping of the birds. It seemed so careless to her, so free. Yet for Diamond Tiara this morning was like every other. She had placed her tiara on the sink, and felt her muscles tensing. She really didn’t want to wear it, but she also needed to.
It was a small price to pay for an intact reputation, just a bit of a headache, just a bit of a tense day. The foal was used to it by now and she most certainly didn’t want the cutie mark failures to find out. She’d rather dress up in a bunny suit and dance to some stupid song than let that happen.
Nevertheless, she made to comb her hair, turning the mess into a shining, calm sea of undeniable beauty. Only then did she take the tiara in her hooves, weighing the silver carefully. It was fairly light, close to a feather. Diamond Tiara knew that there were as many enchantments on it as there were gemstones. Her first one had looked different, a mere band of silver, she remembered. Her parents had given her the new one minutes before her cute-ceañera’s start. And it looks just like my mark, she thought with a smile.
Once more she looked into the mirror and put on her brave face, her fiercest gaze. “You can do this,” Diamond Tiara told herself and lifted the crown to her head.
A second before she allowed it to land on her head, however, she stopped her motion, putting on a sly grin. “Your majesty,” she added, imagining it to be her crowning ceremony.
As the silver touched her mane, she could see it before her eyes, the huge hall with columns throughout. Golden flowers were planted beside the red carpet she stood on and all the ponies were cheering for her. Cheerilee, the mayor and every other adult. Even her classmates were there. She thought of Silver Spoon standing by her side, of Twist crying like she did during weddings, and the cutie mark misfits roaring the loudest, accepting that they would never be as good or rich or beautiful or mature as Diamond Tiara.
The tiara touched her head, and the spell stung for a moment, before the glamor washed over her. It quickly eradicated all signs of her wearing any kind of absorbent padding. Diamond Tiara looked into the mirror to spot her new, more mature self.
She would have loved to trade a bunny suit for it.
The table was set, with two ponies hurrying around it, setting up breakfast. Diamond Tiara stumbled into the room rather awkwardly. She wasn’t exactly fond of the Apples, so she needed to force that smile up on her face. “Good morning.”
Big Macintosh offered her a nod, before placing silverware and porcelain on the table, swiftly ignoring her with the same stoicism that had earned him much of a reputation over the years. However, Applejack smiled right back, as honest as ever. “Good mornin’ to ya too, Diamond Tiara.”
And how the filly hated that accent.
“Did ya sleep well?”
“Yes, I did,” she lied.
Applejack sighed the kind of sigh that let DT know that her lie had been uncovered immediately. “Ah know ya don’t like Apple Bloom that much, but our families have been friends for a few generations now. If ye gave it a chance, ya would like her.”
“My mother says the same about beans and no matter how many I eat, they only taste awful,” Diamond answered, huffing.
Applejack frowned. “Well, even then, they’re still good for you. Right, Big Mac?”
Instead of answering, he simply put down a bowl with a variety of fruits (and not a single apple, as DT noted) on the table and continued on from there. The silence was a thing to behold.
That Applejack’s own brother wasn’t supporting her gave Diamond Tiara more confidence. Still, she didn’t feel too happy, since it didn’t change anything about her situation anyway. She was still stuck here with the Apples, and would so for the whole weekend. At least with the tiara on, she wouldn’t need to worry about getting exposed or anything.
“Well, no matter. Ah trust ya had no problems changin’ yerself?” Applejack suddenly asked, like she was casually throwing a hammer right at DT’s face, allowing the filly to just stare at her for a moment.
“Wha–”, seemed like the most appropriate noise to make when confronted with the awkwardness of having one’s self-esteem crushed so thoroughly and immediately.
Applejack shrugged. “Yer father told me to make sure that ya keep to tha’ schedule of yours. Ah wouldn’t want ya to get a rash.”
For a moment Diamond Tiara felt like a void was surrounding her, a complete nothingness of colors, smells and sounds. She stood in the middle of a blackness so deep, it must’ve been what a blind pony saw day in and day out. And as she was thrown into that pit, she felt like she was falling not away from the world, but from herself. Diamond Tiara was becoming the nothing that was around her. Whatever thoughts she held, whatever dreams she had, they were all vanishing before her.
And then she realized what Applejack had just stated, in front of Big Macintosh, in front of the whole world.
“I–I,” Diamond Tiara said, fumbling for a proper response.
It was one thing when her parents asked this, she might’ve even survived it if it had been Silver Spoon’s elder sister who asked that, but this wasn’t somepony that close to her, that trustworthy. This was Applejack.Applejack! What sort of thing went through that earth pony’s mind as she asked that? What sort of horrible person was she to readily inflict such wounds on her young (and elegant) guest?
The orange earth pony tilted her head, thinking, before she seemed to reach her own conclusion over why Diamond Tiara wasn’t answering. “Oh. Well, if ya need help, I could always help. It’s been a while since I last changed some–”
Diamond Tiara felt the room growing warmer with every word, her cheeks turned into hot plates. Applejack, luckily, never got to finish that last sentence, as a large hoof covered her mouth before the last words could leave it. Big Macintosh was glaring at his sister.
“Nope,” he stated grim, shaking his head.
The magenta filly felt tears welling up in her eyes, however. Not even two hours in and this is already the worst day.
The stallion sighed. “I’m sorry, Diamond Tiara,” he said, his voice sounding gruff, and weirdly used to speaking more than one word. “Ya already took care of everything yerself?”
She nodded feebly, and he gave her a smile, looking to Applejack, who seemed to wake up on her own, realizing what she just asked. “Oh, gosh. Ah didn’t think it was that big a deal. Sorry, Diamond. Yer already grown-up, so Ah shouldn’t worry. Really Sorry.”
She looked up to the two, and a part of her wanted to yell at them for being so insensitive, tell them that they were poor and stupid and should be grateful that she even considering staying over here. It was just a part though, and she wasn’t about to do anything unsightly. So all Diamond did was wipe away her tears and take a deep breath.
“It’s fine,” she said, though not ready to give Applejack any reason to come up with worse questions involving her disability, “but I can take care of it on my own.”
As a bonus to the apology, she was allowed to immediately get to her breakfast, seemingly killing the worst of this worst day ever. Nevertheless, the conversation made Diamond Tiara weary. She didn’t want to appear childish or infantile, not in any shape or form. So there would be no fun breakfast.
Applejack went up to wake the other two, while Big Macintosh remained. That left the house as quiet as the villa was when nobody was within. The only noise was the sound the food made as it got squashed between Diamond Tiara’s teeth and her own gulps as she washed it all down with milk. Every bite weighed on her nerves, every motion the other party made filled her with anger. She just wanted to get it over with.
The food wasn’t that good either. Bread with wheat and flowers wasn’t something she would usually consider as she broke her fast, but it was what other adults seemed to eat. Being adult apparently meant that you shoved every unlikeable food down your throat pretending that it tasted great so your own kids would eat that stuff, because it’s good for them.
Adult logic, while flawed, was something Diamond Tiara understood without a problem. She hated it nonetheless and eyed the chocolate warily, wanting to empty half the glass onto a loaf of bread, just to finally have some taste in her mouth. But if she didn’t want to be treated like a baby, she needed to act mature.
She decided that this would be step one for her master plan. It had been somewhat simpler before, since she had intended on putting Apple Bloom down, thus getting her attention the proper way. Yet, if she was mature and intimidating, nopony would think that she had problems staying completely dry. Mature ponies didn’t do that, she understood that this was the common assumption going around.
Sometimes her own smartness truly, truly scared her.
She finished her breakfast by the time Apple Bloom and Scootaloo appeared by the table, and she decided to play it maturely and wait for them to be done with their food. That’ll show them, Diamond Tiara thought behind an evil grin.
As they seated themselves she decided to open herself up for proper conversation. “Oh, good morning. I hope you slept well,” she said, putting an effort into coating every word with deadly venom that could bring down mountains.
Apple Bloom yawned, too groggy to notice. “Oh, we slept quite good. Thank you for asking, Diamond Tiara,” she said, grinning adorab–Diamond Tiara halted her thoughts. She’s smiling uglily. Ugily? Ugyli? Not-good-looking!
Scootaloo eyed her from the side however, not giving answer, and not touching the food either. She bit on her lower lip, turning to Apple Bloom for a moment, and then back to Diamond Tiara. The pegasus filly looked like she deserved to get bread thrown at her face, DT noted quickly, but decided not to. What she needed to do was be mature and intimidating. It’s the perfect set-up, she reassured herself once more.
“Did you sleep well, Scootaloo~?” She asked in a sing-songy voice.
“Uh,” was the answer she got and if Diamond Tiara had to tell the truth, any sort of body sound would have been a better answer.
Though the silver did not weigh much on her brow, she did feel the tiara in that instance, and the slight headache that let her fuse burn short. “I asked you a question,” Diamond said, making herself bigger than she was.
While, from an objective standpoint, she did fail completely at doing so, Scootaloo seemed to react nonetheless. She twitched nervously, before turning to Applejack. “I’m not hungry anymore.”
“Ya didn’t even eat,” the orange earth pony said, raising an eyebrow.
“Uhm, I’m … On a diet, yeah, totally a diet. And I want to go to play, both me and Apple Bloom, right Apple Bloom?”
Said Apple Bloom was too busy buttering her bread with closed eyes and a wide smile on her face that let everypony know that she was back to her dreamworld, being the big mother bunny (preparing the meal before the final, epic battle for the free world).
“Now for wrath, now for ruin, and the red dawn,” she whispered in a soft voice.
And for one moment longer, everypony just looked at little Apple Bloom.
“Alright,” Scootaloo suddenly said, jumping up and grabbing her friend by the wrist. “We’ll be outside. Playing. Games and stuff, no need to stop us. Can’t stop kids. Bye!”
There was the noise of bread falling onto porcelain and the flutter of wings as Scootaloo departed together with an half-asleep earth pony fast behind her. Big Macintosh blinked once more, before taking an orange and taking a bite from it. Applejack didn’t fare as well.
“What the hay?” Was what she put forth as the door shut behind Scootaloo, sounding throughout the house.
Diamond Tiara herself had to admit the truth. This came completely unexpected. She knew that she was a presence in the room, but to send Scootaloo into a panic just by talking? Honestly, even Diamond Tiara was unaware of having so much raw talent for spreading fear. Had she reached the level of such evil historical overlords like Sombra or Grogar? Was she the next dark prophet sent to spread angst and terror among the ponies?
As awesome as that would be, she hoped not. Being a villain never paid off in the stories and she was awesome enough without being evil.
Nevertheless, she had made Scootaloo run away from her. That’s how good she’d gotten at being mature and intimidating. While her head ached a bit, Diamond Tiara still decided to change her assessment of the current day. This was shaping up pretty nicely already.
A sudden thought struck her then. Either the pegasus had been intimidated, or something had happened …
Something that might make Scootaloo be afraid to be in a room with her, something she’d want to keep a secret from her. The question was what? And then the second question was how to exploit it?
Oh, if she’s wet the bed I’ll never let her live it down, Diamond Tiara thought casually and turned to the orange earth pony. “Miss Applejack?”
The earth pony turned around. “Ya want to go play with them too?”
A cackle escaped her. “Oh yes, I would love to play with them. Muhahahaha!”
If she was entirely honest, this was perfect. If she could find some dirt on Scootaloo, this weekend would go from worst to best in about half-a-minute, and not only that, the rest of her life was basically done then, or at least school life. She would need to move on once she was done with the cutie mark doormats. Maybe find a boyfriend, get a job, a family, build a space rocket and defeat some aliens with a giant robot, that kind of stuff. The world was hers now. Hers entirely.
And as she followed the two other children out, Diamond Tiara laughed all the way.
Applejack blinked, slowly turning towards her brother. “Why was she laughin’ like that?”
Big Mac stared at her with a gaze that told her how little he cared about that and how much he cared for this orange. Sweet Celestia, how fine it was. It basically exploded once he bit into it, with the juices running down his mouth and dripping on his lap, and the taste was such that words could not describe. Heavens, there was no sentence eloquent enough to ascribe the divinity of the experience this meal offered him.
“Am I missin’ something?” Applejack asked, pressing her hoof against her forehead. “I mean, it’s early, an’ I already misjudged Diamond Tiara’s ability to handle her incontinence. I mean–” Applejack started into a full on rant about how she should’ve handled everything better, and maybe Diamond Tiara had actually needed help with something ...
And she did not notice the oranges! That was the greatest sin of all, for their saturation was beyond mere orange, it was the fiery red of a heavenly gold, and they smelled like the warmest summer, offering respite and happiness to all those who dared to take a bite. How could she not see? Big Macintosh did not understand.
“... And above all else, why did they run out like that? Do you think something happened tonight?”
Big Macintosh looked right into his sister’s eyes, and she leaned forward, expecting an answer.
“You should really try these oranges,” he said, deciding to, for now, let the kids handle their own lives.
“What?” was Apple Bloom’s question, breaking the long, stunned silence.
When Sweetie Belle had woken this morning, it had been to the smell of perfume that clung to her sister’s home like tree gum did to fur. She loved staying over with her big sister, unless Rarity was involved with some deadline, which was always. Well, she liked it nonetheless, and this morning she had even thought that it would become a fairly ordinary day. This was a step up from the day before, because being grounded wasn’t fun.
And it was even less so when your sister had found out about some botched test you had carefully hidden beneath the stove. Well, I should’ve known that stove wasn’t trustworthy, she had figured, but left it aside, because this was going to be an ordinary day for crusading.
The hour had been early when she, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom met up by their clubhouse, and it had been at that moment when the day took a turn to the extraordinary.
“Oh yes,” Dinky shouted from above, laughing maniacally. “Your clubhouse belongs to me now … again!”
“Levitating Luna, Dinky,” Apple Bloom said, trying herself at alliteration, “you can’t just go and take over other ponies clubhouses.”
“And yet she did,” mumbled Sweetie Belle, which earned two angry looks.
“Hah! You can’t tell me what to do, this land belongs to Dinky the destroyer now! Dinky land, dinky rules! And Dinky’s rule say that you shan’t pass!”
Scootaloo rubbed her hoof across her forehead. “By the sun, Dinky. If you don’t get down here immediately then–”
“Then what? We did this already you fools, your threats don’t scare me!” Interrupted Dinky, grinning awfully bright.
Sweetie Belle found the way it put her new bracers on display a bit disturbing, but Dinky had never bothered with such miniscule details. It was a rather admirable trait, she found, even if her sister and parents told her it was distasteful. Not only that, it was always strange how little malice Dinky seemed have.
She thinks that this is a game, Sweetie thought, sighing. “Come on girls. She’ll get bored of this soon enough,” she stated, turning around. “Let’s do something else.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Scootaloo said and followed suit, her mood ruined .
Apple Bloom herself looked up at their tree house, and she might’ve pondered whether she should tell on Dinky. Ultimately, she decided to just follow her two friends away from the tree house.
“Ha! I’ll never leave! I’ll never leave,” Dinky shouted after them.
“Why is she so annoying?” Apple Bloom wondered after they had gained some distance.
“Because she’s got no friends, I think she just wants to have somepony to play with,” Sweetie Belle answered.
This was exactly the kind of situation that called for a positive attitude and she had every intention of keeping it. Apple Bloom frowned and shook her head though. Clearly, she wasn’t getting Dinky, but then, who was? Even Sweetie Belle was quite happy when she was being left alone by that weirdo.
“Urgh,” elaborated Scootaloo. “How did she even get the key to our tree house!”
Apple Bloom shrugged. “We don’t have a key for the tree house.”
“Oh, really? Well, now I don’t find it all surprising that Babs Seed, Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara, Dinky, a manticore, a murder of ravens, Dinky’s mom, the griffon team from the equestrian games, and a bear decided to just take it away from us in the past three weeks.”
Apple Bloom shrugged again.
Sweetie Belle felt inclined to shrug too, but then she realized the implications of the statement. “Do you guys think our clubhouse is too openly accessible?”
“I don’t know Sweetie Belle, I think it’s perfect,” Apple Bloom stated, giving her an encouraging nod.
“Really? Really?” Scootaloo seemed genuinely confused by their attitudes.
“Well, it’s not all that bad,” Apple Bloom said with a grin. “Now we get to play outside. Without having eaten breakfast. Because you decided to drag me out of here just before the final battle.”
“Because I had something important to tell you guys,” Scootaloo said in her defense.
“Well, you can tell us now,” Apple Bloom answered.
“No. Somepony else might hear. We need to find a safe location.”
“You mean some super-secret location that nopony’ll ever find?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Apple Bloom made a face. “Can’t we just go to one of the hills overlooking the acres? There’s so few ponies around I doubt it’ll really matter anyway.”
Scootaloo looked around. “Well, I’m okay with it as long as we can really see that there’s really nopony around.” She put on a slight grin. “This thing is huge, I tell you.”
Of course, Sweetie Belle wondered what Scootaloo meant, but the answer would come to her in due time. For now they went through the long familiar acres. The unicorn remembered herself being a stranger to them, not even a year ago, when the crusaders had been founded. Even now the trees looked all the same and she had to rely on Apple Bloom’s navigation skills. She could still tell how to get to the clubhouse, which served as a landmark, but otherwise?
She had gotten lost in here once. For a whole week the filly had survived on a diet of apples, at least until she had remembered that the grass beneath her hooves was edible too. Quite the shocker, but that’s what you got when you never really bothered with how the food got on your sandwich.
The trio traveled through the acres with ease, until they finally reached the top of a hill, with a lonely tree standing there. Red apples hung from it ever so ripe. Sweetie Belle found it almost surprising. The hills would make good landmarks too, but you could all just call them “that hill with the apple tree”, which was an utterly useless description considering this place.
She had heard Rainbow Dash say that the acres were shaped like one huge apple, too. Really, sometimes she wondered whether this was some sort of obsession the family had, or some sort of ancient ritual to keep their apples fresh. Maybe they could investigate further and get their cutie marks in uncovering ancient conspiracies.
That would be kinda awesome.
“Okay, we’re on some hill in the middle of nowhere,” Scootaloo stated, looking across the fields.
Whether she harbored the same thoughts as Sweetie Belle, the unicorn did not know, but what did it matter? Before and behind them where the Sweet Apple Acres. Green trees and red apples as far as the eye could see, the greatest apple farm in all of Equestria. No matter on how many hills she stood, the sheer size always overwhelmed Sweetie Belle. It was really awesome just being here this early. She even felt like doing some exploring again.
Maybe they’d find that one treasure Granny Smith mentioned some time ago.
“I wouldn’t call it nowhere, we’re still on the acres,” Apple Bloom said, the wind moving her mane and bow.
“Not that it matters,” Scootaloo said, looking around once more.
Sweetie Belle did the same, but except for trees and some bushes at the foot of the hill, she spotted nothing that rose beyond the green grass. Well, okay, there were two barns, the home of the apples in the distance, and a dragon flying across the land even farther away.
“I’ve got something really awesome to share,” Scootaloo said with a grin.
Apple Bloom, who had just stood there all neutral, just sighed. “You’re talking about Diamond Tiara, aren’t you?”
Sweetie Belle lifted an eyebrow. “What about her?”
Scootaloo started to grin, Apple Bloom just shook her head. “She’s staying over for the weekend, which is apparently funny now for some reason.”
“Well, not exactly, but–”
“She’s what?” Sweetie interrupted. “You’re having a sleepover with Diamond Tiara?”
As Apple Bloom nodded, Sweetie immediately pulled her into a hug, stroking her mane. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“Uhm … Okay, she didn’t really do anything until this point.”
“Can you be sure? Did she offer you any food? What if she poisoned you?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“I … I doubt she’d do that, well, doubt is a strong word, but–” Apple Bloom stammered.
“Girls!” Scootaloo interrupted them. “Why’re you questioning the color of rocks when I just found a gold mine?”
Sweetie Belle giggled at that comment. “We’re not discussing rocks, silly. We’re talking about Diamond Tiara.”
Scootaloo looked at her for a moment, all quiet, before she decided to say something. “Anyway, she was sleeping in a room with us and–”
“Oh no, did she put your hooves in warm water?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Well, surprisingly no, but that’s not really my point–”
“Did she put a flamingo and a bowl of noodles in your bed?”
“No, she–wait, what?”
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were both looking at her, question marks clearly above her head. The filly turned red, “Uhm … I’m just asking, you know, because I heard that somepony did that to … Dinky, yeah, Dinky.”
“Oh,” both her friends answered. “What?”
Then came a moment of silence which Sweetie used to turn away from her friends and think about some childhood trauma best left undescribed.
“Well, okay,” Scootaloo said, resuming her approach of the mysterious topic she had. Before she could continue she did let out a snort, though, and the rest of speech was made between fits of giggling. “Well, you see, I saw, like, Diamond Tiara, at night. I mean, I was awake and Apple Bloom was snoring like a lawnmower–”
“Hey!”
“and so I turned around to find Diamond sleeping on her stack of hay.”
“You let her sleep on the hay? Really, don’t you have guest beds?” Sweetie Belle interrupted.
“No, we needed the guest room to stash souvenirs our family members send us constantly,” Apple Bloom answered.
“Hey, music playing here,” Scootaloo said, frowning at the two of them. “Anyway, her blanket was kicked off and–”
“Oh, let me guess,” Sweetie Belle interrupted excitedly, “she had a plushie cactus too!”
Honestly, she couldn’t be the only pony who had one of those.
“No–I mean, yeah, she did, but that’s not my point.”
OhmyCelestia, we can be cactus-buddies now! Sweetie Belle thought, squeeing with glee.
“Look, she was wearing something,” Scootaloo said, trying to regain that momentum of funniness that had left the moment she had brought the matter to her friends.
“Yeah, that ultra-expensive sleeping gown for-which-I-totally-wouldn’t-sell-off-all-my-toys,” Apple Bloom said deadpan.
“No, beneath it. Just, look,” she made a gesture to quieten them. “She was wearing a diaper.”
Sweetie Belle blinked.
Apple Bloom blinked.
Somewhere in the distance, a crow cawed.
“She what?” Apple Bloom asked.
“She wears diapers to bed, like. A. Baby,” Scootaloo said, a grin spreading across her face.
“Actually, my doctor told me that lots of fillies did that, or they have plastic covers, because there’s like millions who still wet the bed,” Sweetie Belle threw in.
The grin left Scootaloo’s face immediately. “Stop undermining my point, Sweetie Belle.”
“Sorry.”
“The important thing is. Diamond Tiara can’t keep her bed dry, which is awesome for us.”
Apple Bloom frowned. “How is that awesome? I mean, hay costs money too and I don’t know if it’s usable if it gets, you know, wet. I’d have to run that by my sister to see how it could affect our numbers.”
The pegasus laughed it off. “No, I mean we can stop her bullying.”
“Don’t tell me–” Sweetie Belle started.
“We’re going to blackmail her into leaving us alone forever from now on!”
Apple Bloom looked at her friend and then started to nod hesitantly. The nod became quicker as she understood the information more and more, and she started smiling too. Sweetie Belle, however, was not convinced. While her friends were giggling at the prospect of getting Diamond Tiara out of their lives, she could only see the cost at which it would come.
“Okay, no. I mean, you want us to bully a bully out of bullying? Didn’t we already try that?” She inquired.
“Well, we actually did. But that was Babs. She had her circumstances, and this is Diamond Tiara!” Apple Bloom looked at her as if that was the most viable argument in the whole world.
“And now we know that she has her circumstances too,” Sweetie Belle said. Apart from her ego, that is, she added in her thoughts, but let it not ruin the string of her arguments. “I mean, this could devastate her.”
“No, we could devastate her,” Scootaloo corrected. “And it’s not like she doesn’t deserve it, or do you want me to remind you of everything she put us through until this point? And her smugness at breakfast was really not helping her case.”
“Well, I wasn’t there with you at breakfast. I just thought we had decided at some point to have standards, unlike her.”
“How’re standards helping us if she’s annoying us?”
“We could always try to fight her. I mean, we’re three and she’s on her own,” Apple Bloom threw in.
“What? No, that’d be cruel,” Scootaloo said.
“And blackmailing her isn’t?” Sweetie Belle wondered.
The three just stared at each other then, before Scootaloo threw her arms up. “Fine, we’re not blackmailing her. What should we do with this information then?”
“How about nothing?” Sweetie asked. “I mean, we all have things we appreciate to never get out. For Apple Bloom it’s ruining the mayor’s office with bananas–”
“There was a spider in there.”
“For you it’s that one time you nearly drowned and got saved by a song-and-dance number done by some seaponies.”
Scootaloo froze for a moment. “Oh no, I’m remembering the melody. Shoo-be-doo …”
“And for me it’s when I found a flamingo and noodle bowl in my bed when we were on vacation.”
Apple Bloom blinked. “Wait, that happened to you?”
“And everypony has secrets like this. Instead of using them to hurt others, we help them feel safe, even if it means that we will never talk about them ever again for as long as we live and maybe even beyond the grave. Because that’s the right thing to do, very often. Just not asking, and not telling. We can tolerate what bothers us by ignoring it.”
Scootaloo lifted her hoof, humming a melody. “Uhm, just one question.”
“Yeah?”
“What happened with the flamingo? I’m curious now.”
“It doesn’t matter what happened with the flamingo. What is important is that we pretend there never was a flamingo and we can all go on living our lives peacefully.”
“But we can’t live peacefully. Diamond Tiara is staying over today and tomorrow too. Once we get back home there will be a war,” Apple Bloom said. “Even if we don’t want one. She’s so good at antagonizing ponies.”
“Yeah, did you hear the way she greeted us during breakfast?” Scootaloo asked.
“I thought that was rather nice, actually.”
“Well, she–I–She’s evil incarnate, okay?”
“Well, yeah.” Apple Bloom answered and even Sweetie Belle gave a nod of agreement.
It was hard defending her worst enemy, but that was what having standards was about. Nevertheless, Diamond Tiara was wearing diapers. That was the one thing she hadn’t expected to hear all day.
“She did bring us into that Gabby Gums mess,” she said to nopony in particular.
“An’ she turned Babs into a bully,” Apple Bloom threw in.
“And she makes us look horrible whenever she can,” Scootaloo said then.
“And she’s probably never going to stop,” all three stated simultaneously.
Sweetie Belle sighed, at least they’d come out of here as moral victors, no matter what would happen. Really, considering everything, they had already won. All the times Diamond Tiara had just tried to get to them, all the times she had thrown them and their good will into the mud, all the times she had schemed and lied just to satisfy her own need for acknowledgement. All that because she felt insecure about wetting the bed.
That’s a stupid reason, Sweetie Belle concluded, considering she’d wet the bed well into the first grade and she had never turned evil. So, maybe that wasn’t why Diamond Tiara was the way she was. Well, there’s also her ego.
And once she’d find the trio, she would annoy them, and then she would go on to do even worse stuff, and all because they weren’t answering to her bullying.
Sweetie looked at her friends, who seemed to contemplate what to do with this newfound information too, but honestly, considering their history, Sweetie was almost sure that blackmail was actually a fair option. It wasn’t like they were doing something evil. All that would happen was that they’d tell Diamond Tiara that they knew her terrible secret and then get her to leave them alone.
Okay, maybe she could also do some other stuff. Like do some of their homework, or help around with their respective chores, be a productive child instead of a spoiled one. They might actually be doing her a favor. And it wouldn’t be bullying because Diamond Tiara is evil.
“Uhm,” Apple Bloom began. “How about we start by blackmailing her and then slowly become her friends, like, for real.”
Scootaloo looked perplexed. “How would that work. You’re not thinking, like, putting her in a basement and–”
“What? No, no,” Apple Bloom shook her head, and Sweetie Belle shivered. Why had they even tried reading her sister’s books without her permission?
“I mean, I’ve got an idea for a ninety-three stage plan that would surely work.”
“Yeah, no, we’re not doing anymore x-stage plans, I do not want to drown and be saved by singing sea ponies again,” Scootaloo protested, waving her hoof around.
“Well, I don’t have any other ideas. I mean, we can’t just ignore it. I mean, I kinda want to see what she looks like. I mean, it’s probably funny.”
“Yeah, it sure is. I mean, considering most of her shtick is insulting our maturity by asserting the fact that she has a cutie mark, this could be considered deeply ironic,” Sweetie Belle said slowly, so that she would get all the words right and sound really smart. “But we shouldn’t laugh at her.”
“Well, we should use it. I mean, she has it coming, and if we can keep it between the four of us, some good ol’ vengeance won’t be that bad,” Scootaloo said, trying to smile again.
Sweetie Belle at least understood from where the pegasus was coming, but that didn’t make this any easier. She didn’t want to be a bully, not really, but vengeance did sound nice.
“Well, you know what,” Apple Bloom said, “I’m totally fine with just some vengeance. Something that’ll make her shut up for the coming days is all I need. It’ll teach her not to mess with us too.”
Sweetie Belle sighed. The truth was that the pros did outweigh the cons. With this, they could rid themselves of Diamond Tiara, even if not completely. It wasn’t like they were actually going to bully her, they were still the good guys and had the moral high ground. Plus, the thought of Diamond Tiara in diapers was kinda funny.
“Okay, but if we do something, we do it today, and we let her know that if she’ll start some cycle of vengeance thingie, we’ll tell everybody,” Sweetie Belle said, deciding that this wasn’t blackmail, but insurance.
They weren’t dropping any standards, they were still the good guys and they were clearly not going to bully and blackmail another filly. They were fighting against Diamond Tiara and that served as an excuse enough.
So, while they came up with a battle plan, down at the foot of the hill the bushes started to rustle and something started to run. Another pony, one who decided just then to have some standards, against all previous behavior.
Step 7 ~ The Acres, Starting Grounds For A Grand Adventure
Celestia’s sun might’ve just been the first thing that woke in the morning, signalling everypony that their day would start beneath a clear sky with their princess smiling down upon them. The leaves rustled in the light breeze and the grass moved ever so slightly as Diamond Tiara made her way through the Sweet Apple Acres, unsure where exactly she was going. The lay of the land wasn’t exactly something she was familiar with, now that she’d swayed from the road and into the seemingly unending labyrinth of same looking trees who all bore the same fruits during the same season.
Farming them was probably a stupid job and she didn’t quite understand why anypony would do it. Well, if they traded with her parents that probably meant they got good money for it. So she guessed that was why.
Step by step she walked along a seemingly unending path into an uncertain direction. Sometimes she turned around, wondering whether she still knew which way led back to the barns, to the Apple Family’s poor looking home. Of course she did, she was Diamond Tiara, she couldn’t get lost in some acres. She harrumpfed every time as she turned around, but made a grimace anyway. While she wanted to look sure in case she came across somepony, the truth was that she couldn’t possibly be sure.
She was on enemy territory and the farther away she strayed from civilized grounds, the more she worried about all the wild things she might encounter, all the strange, strange creatures she might find here where nopony came looking. She heard of fruit bats and timber wolves, of the ghosts of Apples’ Past and of fairies playing their games at a strange pond few ponies had ever seen. Her parents had often told her those stories, probably to entice her to think that it was fun coming here. It wasn’t, she hated it and she didn’t want anything to do with it. Well, at least she could hopefully take on the blank flanks without Silver Spoon’s backup. In all honesty, she’d been through worse.
Not that she could think of anything right now and the day was still young.
A few more minutes of walking and Diamond Tiara found herself on one of the few hills that the acres spread across, looking around with great displeasure. This place was big. No, not big, her family’s villa was big. This was huge. The Apple family’s home seemed more like a gatehouse now that she saw the acres spread out in all their glory. How many trees did they have? Too many, that was the answer. Nopony should possess this many trees.
But where could the blankflanks be? They weren’t here, instead, it was just Diamond Tiara and what looked like a pocket dimension worth of apple trees. Maybe she could spend the whole day here, without being bothered by anypony else? There was no need to find those three idiots, to agitate them, she could have fun without them. This was a sea of endless possibilities, the closest she might ever get to exploring a forest like the Everfree. Her eyes turned to the family’s place, where Applejack and the rest of her clan where. She could always go back on one of the hills and find her way back if she got scared. She couldn’t get lost, wouldn’t need to stay in her diaper for too long. Everything was fine.
The idea was interesting, to say the least, but also scary. Exploring the acres all on her own, as much as she was a grown up, she still wanted to have at least one friend by her side now, because who knew what she could find here. No, Diamond Tiara thought and slapped herself lightly.
“I’m not some foal that needs the help. I can be an explorer and if I want, I could survive all two days out here in the wild. I’m Diamond Tiara, the best pony at everything possible,” she told herself, loudly before she rose up.
This would be easy.
But that didn’t stop her from regretting her decision like five minutes later when she stood in front of an old barn she’d mistaken for the Apple family’s current home. It had nicely painted red walls and a sick blue roof. It was awesome, yet also completely empty. Well, Diamond Tiara figured, fool me once.
The second time she came across a building, it was actually just the front of one with a small wooden sign in front of it saying: “Under construction,” with the date it should be finished being around the time DT was born. Well, Diamond Tiara thought, They do say that third time’s the charm.
Though that saying didn’t account for large holes in a fence and old witch shacks that for whatever reason stood right beside the acres. And while there was still an animated pot inside, at least the actual witch had left. There was a sign on the door:
“Dear Roseluck, I must inform you that I have gone to the annual meet for the League of Ponies That Practition The Dark Arts and your training must be put on halt for a while. Do not try to make the brooms do your work for you again.
Yours sincerely, Hydia”
And Diamond Tiara just decided to turn around and go back from whence she came, forever blocking that old shack out of her memories. So what she did was walk across the acres for a while longer until she halted again and looked at the sun. She half-figured it was noon already but somehow the sun had decided that moving a large distance was too much of a bother, so it firmly remained closely to where it’d been last time she looked.
“Why must you hurt me so?” She asked the sun and it probably wanted to shrug, if only it wasn’t so lazy that it still needed someone to help it wake up in the morning.
Nevertheless she decided to find another hill and then map out her surroundings. Of course, the first hill she climbed was only high enough that she could see the tips of the trees in front of it, while the second, again, had a sign stand before it, warning of a fruit bat reservoir. She almost wanted to take it as a challenge, but was quite happy that Silver Spoon wasn’t here.
I’d totally need to go if she was here, she thought, even though just the idea of a fruitbat made her want to crawl up on the lap of any of her parents, though preferably her father, since her mother would probably try to sell the fruitbats a new and better sign while using DT as a mascot for her merchandising. Apparently she’d done so in a time before Diamond Tiara’s memories were being thought, but that wasn’t so bad. She was sure that back in the days of foalhood, she had made an adorable mascot.
After making a big circle around that specific area she ended up by a river from which she decided to drink, if only a bit. There was no telling how long she’d walk around here and she didn’t like walking into the blankflanks with a diaper that felt like it was about to burst. While the magic kept it hidden from sight, it still wouldn’t hide any leaks or the like. Just the thought about that one time she remembered it happening made her cringe up. “Never again,” the filly told herself bravely.
As she stepped forward, however, she suddenly heard something behind her, fast steps hurrying across a vast distance with ghostlike speed, the wind following like a dog bound to its master. Even with her godlike reflexes, Diamond Tiara only barely managed to turn. There was no time to make an attempt at dodging, no time to throw insults at whoever there was coming. No, there was only one split-second she used to grab her tiara and shield her face while making a an indescribable high-pitched noise that might’ve been a yelp. Maybe.
As she fell to the ground, the limbs of the attacker stood firm on her shoulders while her hindlegs plastered themselves to DT’s sides. Then, they asserted their dominance by stating; “Arf!”
Didn’t the Apples have a dog?
Diamond Tiara, who’d closed her eyes in the moment of shock, dared to open them only to look at a creature made up entirely of sugar and fluff. With a bright, white smile the pale violet creature with the blonde mane stared at DT with golden eyes. “Arf,” Dinky repeated excitedly.
“Bad dog,” Diamond Tiara responded instantly, not entirely what else to say.
That did seem to do the trick somewhat as Dinky’s big ol’ puppy eyes welled up and her ears pulled back ever so slightly.
“Go sit,” Diamond Tiara said, hoping that playing along would help her situation.
Dinky simply sat down on the other pony, frowning for a moment. Diamond Tiara felt why Dinky was frowning and reacted with a speed acquired only by mastering the highest forms of Gongfu. “Get off of me,” she stated with firm assertiveness while pushing the other filly.
Dinky, thankfully, let herself be pushed off quite easily. “Arf?” She asked curiosly.
Diamond Tiara felt half like yelling, but as she stood up she realized that this was another pony, another soul in the vast emptiness of this lifeless graveyard (which was actually teeming with life, but none of that could help her back to the farmhold so it didn’t count). No, she couldn’t yell, she needed to be diplomatic, and make sure that Dinky was actually too stupid to notice anything.
This was quickly confirmed as Dinky still sat there, her tail waving around like it actually belonged to a happy puppy, while the tongue hung from the pony’s mouth and she panted happily.
“Why are you pretending to be a dog, Dinky?” Diamond Tiara asked.
The panting immediately stopped as the eyes suddenly started looking at her surroundings. Then Dinky closed her mouth, opened it again to say something, closed it again, put her hoof against her chin, tried to come up with another argument, before finally relenting that there was no specific reason and simply shrugged the question off. “Wanna play something?”
There was a pause. “Why would I want to play with you?”
“We could be adventurers, I recently found a cavern close to the edge of the Everfree and there’s also a bunch of treehouses scattered across these woods. There’s so much to do and we could be like Daring Do or–”
“Okay,” Diamond Tiara interrupted, “stop right there. That didn’t answer my question.”
Dinky looked at her almost shocked. “What do you mean, don’t you get it. The opportunity for treasure, for glorious battle, for the stories we could created,” she put one arm around Diamond Tiara before she could react and let her other arm move in half a circle to show the acres. “Oh, the songs they would sing. It would be like in the days of old.”
“What?”
“Diamond Tiara,” Dinky said, pressing both her hooves against Diamond Tiara’s cheek. “Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, You, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, the chronicler, who alone can tell thee of this saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!”
The speech sounded the familiar and as Dinky delivered it with admirable fervor, Diamond Tiara could’ve sworn that an orchestra was swelling up in the background. Like the words were actually inspiring, even though they were not. It almost made her wonder if she should take the invitation from what was perceived as the weirdest filly in ponyville.
She wasn’t just dressed as a firepony during the last Nightmare Night, she was dressed as a changeling infiltrator hellbent on taking the princess out during a ceremony for heroic deeds performed by her during a fire that could’ve ended the royal household. She’s dangerous, she thought of the pony that had just pretended to be a dog and whose villainous scheme last week was foiled by her mum taking her home from school.
No wait, she managed to take Dinky out by cuddling her and calling her cute nicknames. I can join her, she can help me back to the farmhold, then I get rid off her by blowing a raspberry on her stomach and calling her ‘Inky-Dinky’. It’ll be perfect and I can go into my room and not get lost in the acres ever again. Diamond Tiara, why are you such a magnificent genius?
She shrugged, rising to the opportunity because Dinky was a necessary tool for her scheme and not because she wanted to see what this high adventure stuff was about. “Alright, you got me,” she said, completely not hyped about that speech, but pretending to be so completely she believed her own lies.
“So we’re gonna go adventuring?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Alright, I’ll be a wizard knight like Ivanhorse, dashingly protecting my liege lady from all danger.”
“Oh, oh, oh, I’ll be a princess from the crystal empire who escaped her boring court life in search of adventure in these strange, alien lands,” Diamond Tiara said, quickly abandoning the premise that she wasn’t doing this because playing was better than thinking about being lost in the woods.
“Yay,” Dinky said, jumping up, happy to finally have somepony to spend the time with.
It then took Diamond Tiara exactly two and a half seconds to become utterly engrossed in the game. Their epic journey started in the woods, where they heard strange noises in the distance and the daring knight wanted to investigate, while the princess, still too used to the comforts of home, wanted to avoid any danger. Yet, with some words inspiring faith and a strong grip the knight managed to convince the princess to come. The noises came from the fruitbat sanctuary, where they found one such creature lying on the ground, regretting its decision to fly about when the sun was still out in the open. Neither Princess Tiara nor the knightly lady Doo could abandon the creature, and decided to bring it back home.
A valuable lesson was learned and quickly forgotten as the next adventure called, because who had time to remember stuff when there was a witch’s shack to be investigated. Sadly, they did not find the way to the shack the princess had spotted and instead landed back on a hill surrounded by apple trees.
“‘Tis an oppressive labyrinth, filled with traps and creatures of horrible poroportions,” Dinky said.
“I think you meant perprotions ... or was it porportions. Eh, who cares,” corrected the princess with a shrug.
They decided to scour the wild for more adventures, feasted on apples that strengthened their magic and tricked a sleeping ogre (though Dinky constantly insisted that it was a troll) into letting them pass a bridge over a huge river (which was actually a small creek which DT didn’t want to go through). And then they also fought a ghost zombie spirit lich dragon elder lizard pirate king, which Diamond Tiara actually never thought she’d actually do, but Dinky went along with it, which was awesome.
The sun had moved farther up and it was clearly long into the morning, finally. Resting beneath a tree, Dinky was munching down on some apples, while Diamond Tiara used the chance to breathe and noticed that the diaper felt differently now. I probably should change soon, these things don’t hold as much as the others, she thought, thoughts of regret creeping up in her mind. She honestly should’ve taken some with her, even though changing out in the wild wasn’t really for her anyway. It wasn’t like she hadn’t done it before, camping trips were a thing for family getaways, but there something very different about changing at home and changing out in the open where the risk of discovery was approximately 127% higher than at home, where she only got comments about them when she needed to change. Her parents often seemed to just appear out of nowhere to tell her to change.
And now they weren’t here. Yeah, that’s right. They’re not here. I don’t need to stress myself about it. I can still go on for a few hours more, no trouble, she told herself.
“These lands truly are strange, my lady, but I heard some peasants on the way speak of a mysterious castle in these woods, built upon a tree. Mayhaps it belongs to the lords of this realm,” Dinky said as she threw the remnants of her apple away.
Diamond Tiara looked at her, then smiled. “Truly? Then we should make haste for it, if you know where it is. These strangers might be valuable allies to us.” She loved it when she sounded smart and important.
They rose up and Diamond Tiara took a deep breath.
“Are you alright, my princess?” Dinky asked hesitantly.
Diamond Tiara nodded after a second. “Yeah, sure. I’m fine.”
She took a few steps forward. “I simply cannot wait to meet the foreign dignit–”
And then came the final moment of the episode, the moment during which the haughty princess made one wrong step and found that there was a root sticking out of the ground. With impeccable comedic timing, she tripped and midfall, she managed to blink once and wonder to herself: What?
Diamond Tiara wasn’t quite sure where the root had come from or why the universe decided that hating on her was suddenly okay, but as she landed on the ground she found her jaw hurting slightly and her tiara deciding that it was a bird now and flying off into what seemed like an unfathomable distance to the filly. There was a quiet moment where the feeling of magic rescinded and gave way to a grim reality.
A grim reality which Dinky Doo observed unfold from the spot where she sat, Diamond Tiara realized as she saw the tiara land on the ground unharmed, glittering in the sunlight like it was a mystical artifact just waiting to be picked up by an adventurer. For a second, Diamond Tiara was as still as a mountain lake on a calm summer day, then roared up like a storm over the sea.
Everything was the worst, her reputation was ruined, the game was gone, nopony would take her seriously anymore, her parents would disown her and Silver Spoon would need to take the leadership position in their duo. Everything was gone as the garment that safely enclosed her rump faced Dinky with all its padded glory.
Diamond Tiara wasn’t somepony who ever worried about looking infantile … Well, maybe she was, a little. … Okay, maybe a lot. Either way, right now she felt cheeks flush as she reminded herself of a toddler who barely was able to walk. She’d done clumsy things from time to time. Her parents found her precious when she did what they called ‘waddling around’ and Silver Spoon, in her unending kindness, had merely said that she’d tripped once when trying to get the cookie jar. This wasn’t anything like that however, no this couldn’t happen to her.
Immediately, she jumped up, and with incredible quickness made a grab for the tiara, put it on and turned back to face Dinky all in one motion. She panted, her eyes fixated on the other pony as she the magic washed over her. “You didn’t see anything,” she said, her face as red as a tomato.
Dinky blinked. “I never realized,” she said, barely beyond a whisper. A grin spread across her face and Diamond Tiara felt all hope vanish. “You’re,” Dinky started, confirming Diamond Tiara’s worst fears and making her wonder whether they’d ever find Dinky’s body here. “As,” much of a baby like that. Come on: Say it. Say it!. “Adorable as a button.”
That was actually quite flattering.
No wait, this is still the worst! Diamond Tiara had not actually thought something like being even more ashamed was possible but right now she realized that she was just full of surprises today. She couldn’t even say anything. This day had gone from stupid, to worse, to actually pretty nice to pretty bad again. Fate just chose the proper weekend to torment her.
