Ghostbusters: Ponyville Division

by Goldymarg

First published

In response to numerous incidents that can only be described as "supernatural", Princess Twilight Sparkle formally establishes the Paranormal Research and Containment Committee.

Science and magic, though vastly different from each other, both represent a fundamental facet of pony civilization. The supernatural, however, is easily regarded as fiction. In all of the tomes and scrolls of Equestrian history, there has never been any evidence that has proved the existence of things like clairvoyance, extrasensory perception, or even ghosts and apparitions. At least, none that have been recorded. When a strange incident at the Canterlot Archives occurs involving floating books and a white flash of light, Princess Twilight Sparkle volunteers to investigate after the authorities are baffled. Unfortunately, her initial findings are ignored and scorned. She vehemently believes that the incident was the work of a ghost. Refusing to back down, she formally establishes the Paranormal Research and Containment Committee in order to fully understand the nature behind these bizarre incidents.

"Oh come now, Twilight Sparkle. Why don't you just call us what everypony else calls us?"

----

Originally written and submitted for EqD's Writer's Training Grounds #006.

Another Day's Work

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- Canterlot Opera House, Foyer
3:17 pm

Twilight let the door slam behind her, breathing a sigh of relief at the empty hall. A few torn tickets and trampled programs were strewn about the polished linoleum floor, but true to the impresario's word, there wasn't another soul left here. Well, none that were alive at least. She felt Spike creep up to her side as she pulled her visor down with her hoof, the diagnostic HUD imposing itself over her vision.

“So, uh, Twilight...you said this one shouldn't be as bad as the last one, right? C-cause I can still feel that creep breathing down my neck,” Spike said. As always, his voice was shaky and he was clinging onto the leg of her jumpsuit. Her mouth curled into a wry smile as she scanned the room, the feeling of his claws through the rough fabric all too familiar.

“Gosh Spike, you'd think you'd be used to this by now, huh,” Twilight replied.

Spike let go and turned to face her fully, his tone becoming more frantic. “Easy for you to say! You're not the one who got dragged into a creepy, glowing basement to be lunch for a piranha tank! I don't even know how I managed to hang onto this thing!” He grasped the coiled-up cable slung on his arm as he eyed the device on his back – a black, rectangular box nearly as large as himself, adorned with a yellow and black striped plate on the front.

“I know, and I'm sorry about that. Buuut...not to worry. Judging from the PKE readings I'm getting, it looks like we're only dealing with a class-3 repeating phantasm,” Twilight responded.

“Ex-CUSE me, Twilight Sparkle! Has anypony ever taught you any manners?! How dare you let the door close without holding it open!”

She pushed the visor back onto her forehead, her brow furrowed and her eyes glaring at nothing. Groaning softly, she said, “I'm sorry for being rude, Trixie, but I had to get in here before the residual readings of our target vanished. The last thing we want to do is go in unprepared. Hasn't Rarity told you about - ”

“Yes, yes, the incident at City Hall,” Trixie dismissively interrupted. “Well, of course something like that was bound to happen. This was before you hired The Great and Powerful Trixie! Why, with MY expertise, we should wrap up this case before sunset!”

“Interesting choice of words for somepony who's never done this with us before.”

The showpony turned her head and raised an eyebrow at the snowy white mare trotting up beside her. Giving her a concerned look, Rarity continued, “I should warn you that the proton pack Twilight supplied you is quite dangerous. We can't have you gallivanting about with your usual, ahm...impetuousness. The impresario has told us that several ponies have gone missing inside the building, and we can't let any harm come to them.”

Trixie glanced at the heavy set of complex circuitry and wires she wore on her back, scoffing lightly through her nose. Judging from the way most of its inner workings were exposed, it must have literally been thrown together in a haste. She closed her eyes and levitated a cable off the side of the pack, attaching the circular, metal clamp on its end to the base of her horn. “Trixie has already been informed of how to use this thing. What she hasn't been informed of, however, is why you're all wearing those ridiculous outfits. Yours especially.”

While Spike and Twilight were both wearing a beige jumpsuit complete with name tags and black, rubber boots, Rarity had taken it a step further with her's. In addition to the jumpsuit, her head was completely encased in a plastic full-facepiece, while her tail was wrapped and tied up with a shimmery, white cloth. Unlike her friends, her ensemble was closer to a hazmat suit than a uniform. She put a hoof onto her chest and reeled back, giving her a disgusted look. “Ridiculous?! The nerve! Well, let's see YOU try and wash ectoplasm out of your mane and not feel utterly mortified! I'll have you know that I designed these uniforms with functionality, professionalism, and overall style in mind!”

“Girls, focus! We're not here to argue, we're here to catch a ghost!” Attaching her own clamp to her horn, Twilight flicked a switch on her pack with her hoof, the equipment coming to life with a loud hum. “Just because we're dealing with a class-3, that doesn't mean we can let our guard down. Switch on, stay close, and whatever you do Trixie, DON'T use any other spells while the proton pack is active!”

She gave a look of disdain at the pony and dragon moving on ahead. “Trixie heard you the first time, Twilight Sparkle! Don't you patronize me! Are you listening?!”

The two continued through the double doors and into the main stage without another word. Before she could continue, Rarity interrupted, “Goodness, perhaps we should reconsider our hiring practices. I mean, I had no idea our new employee was so impolite. It would be a shame for you to leave such a bad impression on your first day, after all...” She sashayed over and pushed her face into Trixie's on the last word, causing her to shrink back a little. A bead of sweat went down her brow and her mouth creased into a grimace.

“Okay, okay, fine! I'll behave...ugh, boss.”

“No need to call me that. We're supposed to be a team, just like Twilight said.” Rarity smiled warmly and stepped over to the doorway, putting a hoof on it. “Now, let us move forward! We wouldn't want to get sepera...ted.”

The double doors opened to a dark room. A lone, rusted staircase led down a few steps to a solid, concrete floor, and several boilers resembling rusted copper tins were lined against the rear wall. Trixie muscled past her new partner, looking into the room with incredulous eyes. “You can't be serious! After nagging Trixie for nearly an hour about how important it was to stay together, she leaves us behind anyway?! You...you hypocrites!”

Rarity took a step back, “No, wait...I saw the stage from here. I am positive this led to the concert hall, not the boiler room. What happened here?”

----

- Canterlot Opera House, Concert Hall

“H-hey! Twilight, what happened to the door?! That isn't where we came from!”

Twilight turned around to find Spike coddling the device he was carrying like a teddy bear, trembling in front of the double doors. Retracing her steps, she found that the door that they just stepped through now led to an office overlooking the outside of the opera house.

“Wh-what?! How is this possible?!” She backed away and flicked her head down to put her visor on, her head darting around the room. “The ghost...it's somehow altering and reconfiguring the space inside of the building. And judging from these readings, it's accelerating! We have to find it, and soon!”

“But how?! How're we gonna find it if it keeps swapping the rooms around like this?! Oh man, something bad's gonna happen to me again, isn't it...?!” Spike had curled up against Twilight's side again. It seemed as though his trembling wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

“I, uh...” She pushed her visor back up, staring at the floor. “I don't know...but we can't just sit here! We should just keep going through doors until we find it!”

----

- Canterlot Opera House, Green Room

“Oh, how lovely. Another dead end. Do you have any sort of explanation for Trixie? I mean, didn't you say you've been at this longer, hm?”

Rarity grit her teeth and turned around, glaring at the insufferable unicorn with wide eyes. “Oh, would you just put a sock in it?! I cannot believe Twilight even considered bringing along such a wretched, uncouth, RUDE pony like you!”

“Oh, what's this? Now you're slinging insults at Trixie?” She put her foreleg over her mouth and turned her head away without breaking eye contact, giving her a smug smile. “Of course you would. Somepony like you couldn't possibly deal with such a stressful situation. You just can't admit that you don't know what to do.”

“I-I...ohh.” She had no rebuttal. No matter how many times they went through the double doors, they always somehow ended up in another room with no provocation or explanation. Rarity slumped to the floor, defeated. “Well of course I don't...Twilight has always been the one to properly analyze the situation and find a way through it.”

Trixie scoffed and turned to face her, “Hmf! Then what are you even doing here?! Don't tell Trixie that you got all of this fame and glory just because of nepotism!”

“That's not true!” Rarity jumped to her hooves, giving her more of a stern look than a hateful one. “Twilight actually forbade me from being part of the committee at first, but I insisted! Only a unicorn can use the proton pack she created, so what choice did I have?! Somepony with my moral standing would never turn down a friend in need! Though I don't expect a pony who's resume only includes cheap parlor tricks to understand!”

“What was that?!” Trixie growled and brought her face inches away from her's. “The Great and Powerful Trixie is one of the highest level unicorns in all of Equestria! You dare belittle my magnificence?!”

“Oh, I don't just belittle, I laugh!” Rarity stepped away and started prancing around the room with her eyes crossed. “Hey everypony, look at me~e! I'M the Great and Powerful Trixie! I have a penchant for wearing a dumb wizard hat, and can't do anything without evil trinkets to power me up! La, la, la, me, me, me!”

“Grrr! Perhaps Trixie should find out what this thing does to live ponies then, HUH?!”

*SLAM*

The doors swung open, banging against the walls and reflexively bringing the ponies attention to it. This time it lead to the backstage area of the concert hall. Recomposing herself, Trixie said, “Well, it's about time! Twilight Sparkle better still be in here, otherwise - ”

“Wait! Something is clearly wrong here! Why did the doors just suddenly swing open like this?!” Rarity continued her attempt to talk sense into her, but it would seem that their little altercation left her sour. Trixie simply huffed and turned her nose up at the pony behind her, not even acknowledging what she was saying.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie will handle this situation on her own. She doesn't need yours, OR Twilight Sparkle's help, no matter what you say.”

“Pah~zool, pahpah~zool, I~love~puz~zles...”

Trixie stopped in her tracks upon hearing a soft, raspy voice coming from the corner of the room. Sitting down on her haunches was a lime green filly, idly playing with a rubik's cube with half-lidded eyes and a lazy grin. Trixie smiled widely, spreading her hooves and lowering her head in the direction of her. This filly was also completely transparent and glowed with a green, unworldly aura.

“Finally found you! You're going to pay for making a fool of Trixie!”

The apparent ghost looked at her with a tilted head, turning another section of her toy without looking. Feeling a small rumble at her hooves, Rarity had a sudden epiphany and jumped through the door as fast as she could, falling onto her belly with a loud thud, the weight of her proton pack pressing her lungs. When she looked back, the double doors were replaced with a single, metal one.

(“So, it's that cube that's doing all of this?!”) She jumped to her hooves and galloped to Trixie's side, flicking on her equipment. “Trixie, let her have it!”

“Did you not hear me?! Trixie told you she'd do this by herself!” Stepping past Rarity out of spite, she charged up her horn and fired a yellowish-red stream of pure energy directly at the apparition. The filly tilted her head the other way before completely vanishing, the flickering beam colliding with the brick wall behind and carving a jet black crack in it. Trixie's eyes went wide after realizing what she was doing and stopped firing as fast as she could, biting her bottom lip.

“Uh...w-what?! What exactly IS this thing I'm wearing, anyway?! Is that what it's supposed to do?!”

Both ponies felt a presence behind them as the temperature in the room dropped a few degrees. Turning around, they were met with the angry face of a ghostly filly, the rubik's cube in its mouth.

“You...wanna break my toys...” It was as if five voices were speaking in unison when she talked. “DON'T...BREAK MY TOOOOYYYYZZZZ!!!”

The filly's eyes faded into an inky black as she swallowed her toy, the resulting lump in her neck causing the both of them to cringe. She screamed at the top of her lungs and broke the stage lights overhead, showering glass and metal all over. Black mist gathered around the filly, forming itself into a sphere at first, and then a cube. Multiple lines appeared on it, dividing it into nine sections on each face, just like the toy she just had. The bottom line twitched a little and opened like a mouth as two arms sprouted from its corners, hanging loosely. Its mouth started chattering and its arms started flailing around, trying to swipe at anything in front of it.

“AHHHH!!! What is that?! WHAT IS THAT!?! GET IT AWAY FROM MEEE!!!” Trixie doubled back and fell onto her rear, firing a containment stream at the ghost without a second thought. Deciding to just go along with it, Rarity lowered her head and followed suit, firing her own. Both streams coiled around the creature's perimeter like an invisible sphere, provoking it to spasm wildly, but otherwise be contained. Doing her best not to move her head, Trixie arranged herself back into a standing position. She yelled over their attacks, “Well, now what?! Do we just keep this up forever?!”

“N-no! We need Spike! He's got the trap!”

“You have GOT to be joking! That scardy dragon - WAH!” The ghost flailed its arms again and broke free of the containment streams, sending the two flying away. It's mouth chattered again as parts of its body spun around just like a rubik's cube, clicking in tandem with it's spins. Rarity scrambled into a standing position and prepared to fire again, only for her sense of balance to suddenly shift to her right. Her legs slid away from the floor, forcing her to fall onto the wall, the impact making her head pound and her ears ring. When she regained her composure, she realized she was standing on the wall as if it were the ground, though Trixie was somehow unaffected. The aforementioned pony scooted away from the ghost again, unable to find words for just what was going on.

“It's...you're...WHAT IS HAPPENING!?!”

Shaking her head to focus herself, Rarity yelled, “Never mind that! Just contain the ghost!”

Trixie stumbled over her words for a moment before agreeing with her. Pushing past her fear and uncertainty, she fired her stream one more time with all she had, with Rarity joining in moments afterward. The ghost stopped moving the parts on its body, convulsing once more as it became immobilized.

“Spike, they're in here! Let em' have it!”

The door closest to them swung open, revealing both Twilight and Spike, the latter already taking the device off his back and throwing it beneath the ghost. He dropped a pedal onto the ground and shouted, “Trixie, don't look directly into the trap!”

Stepping on the pedal, the trap's doors opened and released a wave of light from it's opening. The ghost's form shuddered as it was sucked into the device below like it was being vacuumed. The moment it was all the way inside, Spike let go of the pedal and closed its doors with a clink, allowing the two to stop firing. Rarity breathed a sigh of relief before falling face first into the ground, gravity reasserting itself. Trixie had fallen to her belly, finding time between her sharp breaths to snicker.

“Heh...heh. Well...that wasn't such a chore, now was it?”