Le chapter
Le Twilight Sparkle was derping around in her library as usual when her slave, Spike, decided to go on strike. Somehow, this was the first time he'd ever truly considered defying Twilight Sparkle's booty. He'd recently discovered the power of the word "le", which makes everything funnier. With great humor comes great power, even when you're a dinky little dragon who does not even lift. Coincidentally, Spike was a dinky little dragon who did not even lift until he encountered the first instance of "le" that he'd ever encountered. The book was under L in the hidden section of Twilight's library. It's almost suspicious, in a way. Perhaps Twilight Sparkle didn't want her little dragon slave to break the invisible bonds
and come out of his servitude? Pffft, yeah right. Everypone knows that Twilight Sparkle is the kindest pony around town, even when she's not very kind. She got a higher score on her kindness exam than even Fluttershy, and that's saying something, although saying anything is saying something, so that's kinda pointless to type, eh? Anything, anything, anything… anything is possible when you give your homosexual cat the new Old Spice™ Le Odor Blocker Litter! Somewhere in an
alternate universe which may or may not be near you, depending on how you define "near", Rarity has just purchased a box of said litter and is planning to give it to her cute little fuzzball Opalescence. Unbeknownst to her, Opal is not actually a cat. In fact, she's a feline. Yes, there is a difference. Cats are male, while felines are female. Unfortunately for unwealthy young Rarity, who spent
her last bits on male cat litter, Opal will refuse to use such an ununcatly substance for her graceful piles of shit. Speaking of shit, has anyone seen Prince Blueblood recently? I heard he got into some trouble with a group of unruly cockroaches after he accidentally shrunk himself. Serves him right for snooping around in someone else's toy closet. Hey, have you ever seen Princess Luna's toy closet? It's even more fun than Princess Celestia's! I'm serious, guys! Get a load of this shit! Did you know that Le Princess Luna has her own tentacle monster in there? It's true, I sware it on Spoderman's #swaglyphe. Ugh, what an uncouthly-spelled word "lyphe" is. Rarity would rather touch Applejack's mud than such a ghastly abuse of
pronunciation rules. And that digraph! Oh my, that one is a truly terrible beast! Twilight Sparkle's Grandiloquent Grammar Tome dictates that such things, while "cool" and "hip", are not proper English, not that such a thing as "proper" English truly exists. Speakin' o' which, hayve y'all hærd aboot Poinkey Poo's næw ahksernt? Ah thenk sheh's traiyna' geet Ahpljak's ætenshön bah spækin' sahly layke a chrou Tehxahn poni. It makes me cry every time; such abuse of language, such bastardization! In related but not actually related news, Rainbow Dash saw someone write "þorn" and tho
ught it said "porn", which caused her prismatic pony pussy to leak rainbow juice like there's no next week (or tomorrow, for that matter). Since she was in the correct mood for a video nasty, she went to her copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Text Adventure and typed "enjoy ford", only to discover that text adventures do not contain videos, nor does family entertainment contain homosexual sex, nor sex of any kind at all.
After discovering that the "enter" and/or "return" key on her typewriter is supposed to be used at the end of a sentence and not in the middle, Twilight Sparkle decided to try her hoof at making a clopfic. Sure, she'd enjoyed so many of them that one would thing she would be practically bursting with ideas, but alas, it was not to be. The best thing she coud cum up with was a shitty self-insert Halo crossover with Inspector Gadget using his red 'n' black pony pingas pooper to shit stripes all over Master Chef's helmet, which caused much consternation after it was discovered that he can't take the damn thing off. Fortunately, Billy Mays was there to save the day (and night!) with the Mighty Oxy-Jacked Turbo-Fresh Slice-o-matic Chop, guaranteed to stick literal tons of garbage to your walls wherever you want and clean your showerhead and chop onions and do other useless shit ALL AT THE SAME TIME! When suddenly, the Fire Nation took an arrow to the doge. Such is life, to be or not to be, etc etc etc.
After the adventure was over, Twilight Sparkle decided to research the etymology of the new word "doge". Unsurprisingly, she quickly found that it is simply the word "dog" with an e added to the end, causing the "o" vowel to be pronounced differently. She didn't get much farther than that. She found the origin of "dog", which is "docga", but there was nothing to be seen or said before that. The word just mysteriously popped into existence in much the same way that your mom's belly fat does when she eats her Oreos™ at night.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash had finished clopsturbating to Spitfire and was going on an adventure in a westwardly direction. She picked west because there coudn't possibly be anything interesting at all to the east; from what she'd heard, it was a wasteland full of boring ponies who do boring things like read each other's memories and blow shit up. Rainbow Dashie don't like that shit, yo. As for the westerly lands, nopony had ever bothered exploring very much there, perhaps because of all the land narwhals. Rainbow Dash, being as awesome and adventurous as always, decided to meet one of these narwhals for herself. After much flight, etc, vivid description goes here, she saw the first land narwhal, and the first narwhal of any kind, that she'd ever seen in her life. It was so beautiful, so divine, so narwhal! She wanted to fuck it. Hard. Luckily for her, she was no longer in Equestria, therefore Equestrian besteality laws no longer applied to her equine reproductive organs.
The le narwhal's penis entered Rainbow Dash's le gaping le vajayjay. This gave much pleasure to both parties involved. Le end.