My friend shows me a tutorial on how to teleport to Equestria, so I bring him with me. Problem is, it may be a one-way trip. Join me and my friend as we find a way back
My friend, Brandon, sent me a link to a tutorial on how to teleport to Equestria. I decided to try it myself, without think of the consequences. Now we must find a way back AND how to turn back into humans. And possibly defeat a God of Chaos along the way.
"Ugh" I groaned, holding my head. I had a bad headache from last night, either because I stayed awake until about 7 'o'clock, or because I was coding last night. Coding AND having anger issues isn't the best thing in the world. Anyway, I tapped the button on my computer tower and left, knowing that it would have booted up before I came back.
I decided to grab an A&W bottle of root beer. Reason why I specified A&W, I hate Mug root beer. I walked back to my room and checked my Skype. To my surprise, someone actually sent a message. It was my friend, Brandon, to boot. He usually isn't on Skype. In fact, his Skype was broken. I popped the cap of the bottle and read.
"Bio, you won't believe what just happened. Go to the video (insert link here) and do what it says. I'll see you soon." "What?" I said out loud. This is interesting, I thought to myself. As the window opened, the tab read 'How to teleport to Equestria'.
I thought it was full BS. Just to see if this guy wasn't being a fake and lying, so I listened to the video and did what it said. I pictured myself as a pony,as instructed. There was a hard tug in the pit of my stomach and when I opened my eyes, my head hurt more than it did this morning. I looked up and saw a tall Pegasus, with a dark red coat, piercing blue eyes, and a soot-black mane. He had a helm as a cutie mark, so I knew it was Brandon. He would always be an aggressor, so armor made sense. He looked at my forehead in awe. "Um...Brandon?" I looked up and nearly flipped out.
After a few minutes of screaming my head off, I finally started breathing normally with the help of Brandon. "W-w-what h-happened to m-me?!" I yelled through ragged breathes. "Just relax Bio, the tutorial actually worked-" Brandon said,trying to calm me down "-and one of the side effects is being turned into a pony." "...A-alright,I'm fine now...hey, at least we aren't just earth ponies. I love magic, and I'm sure you'll like flying about instead of walking everywhere." I said with a smile, satisfied that I could find the bright side of this. Just like Pinkie. I decided to take a look at my body. All I really saw so far was the long, milky white horn that pulsed with energy. Most likely the reason why my head hurt. Looking down, I was a medium-sized stallion, sorta stocky, with the same milky white color that my horn had. Looking up, my mane was in a Big Mac style, but a dark blonde color. It was hard to see past the muzzle that jutted outward, but I managed. I twisted my head around like an owl to get a look at my flank. Luckily, I wasn't a blank-flank. My cutie mark was a scroll, quill, and a cursor. Reading, writing, and tech. Awesome. Then I noticed the small glasses that were sliding down my face. Just like on Earth, I was near-sighted in Equestria. The glasses fit perfectly, but just like on Earth, they constantly slid down my face, meaning I had to push my glasses up with my muzzle. That was when I noticed the white and blue blur a couple yards away. I started running towards it, as if I was in a trance. "Ummmmm...Tristan?" I could faintly hear Brandon ask, genuine concern in his voice. Time to meet the folks.
Brandon quickly caught up, apparently from him flying. He was a fast flyer, and with some training, could be the next Rainbow Dash. We caught up with them in just about 3 minutes. Since when were we fast? On Earth, I ran out of breath in a matter of seconds and dropped out. Brandon said the same about himself. It must of been the equine body, considering horses take longer to wear out. As we got closer, I was able to see the mare, or should I say,mares clearer. Of course the first mare was Vinyl Scratch, purple goggles and all. So that meant the grey pony was Octavia! My favorite ponies! I shouted their names repeatedly and Vinyl was the first to turn. She stopped Octavia to show her. For good measure, I called the cellist's name once more, and she turned to meet us. They both gave us warm smiles...well...Octavia's smile was pretty cold. "Hey dude!" Vinyl Scratch said to me. "Hello..." Octavia's greeting seemed very cold...was it just me or was she mad at me?
When Brandon greeted them, it was the opposite reaction for him: Vinyl despised him and Octavia was very friendly to him. "So, you two never told us your names." Octavia said. I was the first to answer, "Oh, mine is Bio, Bio Logical." "My name is Gemini, Gemini Sparks." Brandon continued. "So, what brings you two here?" Vinyl asked. "We need to find some info, we figured Lyra could possibly help, or Twilight Sparkle could." I replied almost instantly. "Well, we were heading into town. Would you like to join us?" Vinyl said. She seemed enthusiastic about the idea. "Sure, why not? I kinda wanna get used to flying about." "What? Shouldn't you already be used to flying? You look like you've had some years on ya." The white mare exclaimed. I just realized, we never told them about how we got here...but should we tell them? They might not believe us if we told them we came from another world. "Just don't worry about it, alright?" "Alright. We should get moving anyway, it's getting dark, and Vinyl has to go to her club to be"-the cellist sighed-"DJ-Pon3."
We trotted along the path to Ponyville, occasionally bringing up random conversations. At one point we ended up agreeing to go with the DJ to her club. Once we reached Ponyville, we headed to the mares' house. We walked in the house, and it looked actually clean inside. I expected that Vinyl would have trashed the place, but it was very nice.
"Welcome, to Casa de Musicians!" "Huh, I thought DJ's weren't considered as musicians..." I bluntly exclaimed. "Thash cool,"-crunch crunch-"mosht people shay the shame." Wait...where did she get the chips? We just got in the house.... "Hey do you mind if I have some of those chips,I'm starving!" "Sure." The DJ kindly tipped the bag. Mustering a bit of power, I levitated some chips. God, being a unicorn is awesome, I thought to myself as I sat on the couch. Vinyl sat next to me, we both had chips in our mouth. I then noticed that I only had 2 chips left. Hmmm...is it possible to make a duck face with chips when you have a horse's mouth? Oh well. I decided not to try, just in case I embarrass myself. I noticed Brandon hovering near Octavia's cello. Octavia came up to him and they started talking about it. "Vinyl? Do you mind if I see your Bass Cannon real quick?" I asked "Sure, just don't fire that thing in here, I suggest you take it outside." She replied. I bet she may not have felt safe when saying that. I checked the clock. 7:25. Let's get to work!
I took speaker-like machine outside and began taking it apart with my horn,rewiring,rebuilding. Man, was this thing complex! Where did she find this? Did she build it? I wouldn't put it past her, she is intelligent. And why was it so complicated? It only fired off a blast of sound waves. Shouldn't have been, considering it kept shrinking as I worked with it until it was about the size of a handgun. It had a sleek design, gently enlarging as it got to the muzzle of the gun. It also had Vinyl's cutie mark painted on the sides. The rest of the outer layer was the color of her coat. It looked amazing. I took it inside and showed Vinyl, who was still sitting on the couch. She was confused at first, until I explained that I had compacted the heavy machine into a light handgun. TIME TO TEST!
We went outside and set up some targets and she got to firing. It worked like a charm, and she was delighted. Once the mare was finished, she went back into the house and got ready. When she came back,she yelled "OFF TO THE CLUB!" and we followed,obviously, TO THE CLUB!
We got to the club in about 15 minutes, which was pretty fast. Brandon flew most of the trip. He got the hang of it faster than Discord Hooves. Once we reached the club, Vinyl looked through the window to make sure that that no one was there. She silently unlocked the door and proceeded inside.
The inside was huge! The walls were a pale blue, with a hardwood floor and roof to top. There was a large square of lights, which most likely flashed different colors. To one side of the lights was a DJ stand, huge speakers, a mixer, and then I noticed the headphones lying on the stand. They were white, the muffs light-blue. There was a musical note on the outside of the muffs. To the other side were tables, with a bar too. I went over to the bar and sat at the stool. While I was thinking, out of nowhere, a pink pony jumped up yelling "Hi!"
"HOLY SHI-" I screamed, flying backwards and falling onto the floor. "Oh, are you ok?"- the pink pony said-"I would hate if you got hurt because of me!" "I'm fine,thanks...are you Pinkie Pie?" I asked to the happy pony, getting up in the process. "Yeah! How did you know?" She said with a grin. "You just seem famiar." I lied. "Maybe because I have met everyone in Ponyville!" She seemed happy about everything she said. "Oh well,what do you have for drinks?" "We have Apple Cider, Coffee, Latee-" Pinkie listed off about one-hundred different drinks before I said "ALRIGHT! Just Apple Cider, thanks. Hey, do you mind if I practice a few spells?" "Go ahead. Just nothing too amazing."
I tried some spells that weren't even in the show, and I never actually learned any spells at ALL. Weird thing is, I did them all perfectly on the first try. I casted about five different spells, one being a refill spell because of the Apple Cider. Oh Celestia, was the cider good. The Apple Family members were talented ponies, I can easily say that. Anywho, after every spell, Pinkie would ask what spell I casted. She was usually impressed, she said that the spells I cast were advanced, even though they seemed like small tasks. I turned to see Brandon dancing like he was a pro, then the song ended and it was my time to have the spotlight.
A familiar song started playing. It reminded me of Party Rock Anthem, but considering we were in Equestria, it had to be different.
I saw Pinkie fly to the DJ stand, and I noticed another pony at the stand. He was a grey-blue, with a slick,black mane and a dark grey hoodie plus glasses like Vinyl's but with dark lenses. I didn't remember his name and I didn't care at the time. I walked without thinking, like I was in trance. Right when the first verse started was when I started. I hardly noticed anything, other than how good I was dancing. I danced like I did it every day, which I don't. Every so often I would hear a small part of the song. Once the anthem stopped, I was panting. MAN, was I tired.
I had sat down at the exact same spot. Pinkie had somehow teleported behind the bar. I had thought I imagined that, until Vinyl sat down next to me. "That was AWESOME!" "Uh huh..." was all I could muster. "How did you do that? You're a natural!" "Dunno..." "Somethin' wrong?" "That was absolutely exausting..." I said through huffs. "Oh well. I think it's almost time to go home...hey, do you have anywhere to crash?" "Oh...no...we don't." "That's ok!" Vinyl said. "You can crash at our place." "Ok..." We walked back, again, excluding Brandon. When we got back, Tavi was asleep in their room. We were allowed to sleep on their two couches. I walked to one, fell on my face, and immediately crashed.
In the middle of a dreamless sleep, a loud crash woke me up. Well, it woke up everyone. I turned to look into the mares' kitchen. Halfway in the wall was a grey pegasus mare, with messed up, yellow eyes, a tan mane, and a Cutie Mark of bubbles, AKA Derpy Hooves. "Celestia DAMN IT, Ditzy! Why are you here?" The white unicorn exclaimed. This seemed to have happened more than once. "I just don't know what went wrong." The adorable mare said with a sad expression. Vinyl face-hooved, clearly annoyed by the grey mare that flew through the wall. "Who are these two?" Derpy said, staring at me and Brandon. She somehow got out of the wall and was currently shaking off the debris. "Their names are Bio and Gemini. They got here yesterday." "Hi!" She stuck out her tongue and closed her eyes. "My name is Ditzy Doo."
Vinyl was fixing the wall with 2x4's, apparently she had nothing else to use. We talked to Derpy as we ate that oatmeal Tavi so kindly made. I actually never ate like how these ponies do. They used spoons slightly bigger than normal ones. They ate seemingly normal, but having a muzzle instead of a mouth made a bit more difficult. The good part was, having a muzzle allowed me to eat more at once. "So, how is the Doctor?" Tavi asked politely. "Doccy is asleep. He had to work on the T.A.R.D.I.S. for a couple days, and I convinced him to sleep." She said through bits of oatmeal. God, she is cute. I don't know why, but she is. She was even cuter in real life than through a screen. Once we were done with our oatmeal, Octavia took the bowls to the kitchen. Derpy fumbled about, having no idea what to do. "So, what happened? How did you manage to crash through?" "I dunno. I got hit out of nowhere and then I crashed." She looked sad about it. "Dawww, it's ok Derpy. Just be happy no one got hurt." I felt sympathetic for the ditz. She was so innocent. "Yayyy! I didn't hurt anyone." She said, bringing her legs up to her chest and sticking out her tongue. She was so loveable.
We decided to walk and talk around the town. Ponyville was amazing. First stop was Sugarcube Corner, where we saw Pinkie. She was restocking when we came in. "Oh, hey Vinyl! Hey other ponies!" The pink pony was excited about seeing the new people and Vinyl. "Hey Pinkie! These two are Bio and Gemini. I met them yesterday. Hey, can we get 5 cupcakes to go?" The white unicorn quickly asked. "Sure! Oooooooo, we should throw a party for them!" She said as she gathered the cupcakes. "I would love that. What time and place?" I quickly replied "How about tomorrow night, right back here. Sound good?" The pink pony asked. "Sure. Sounds Lovely." I said. Pinkie gave us our cupcakes and we headed out to Twilight's. We ate our cupcakes on the way, and MOTHER OF LUNA, they were better than the Cider. Apparently everyone but me and Brandon knew. Ditzy and Vinyl giggled when they saw us suddenly tense and seem to want to melt. Then we reached the tree house.
It was a huge oak tree, with windows dotted about and a wooden door which had what seemed like a in front. There was also a small balcony with a guardrail. We knocked on the wooden knocker (I half expected it, since the show and all, but seriously, why not change when you're a princess? You've got good money then). I heard the familiar voice call "Come in!"
You know, when you see the tree house in the show, it's decently large. But here, it's massive, inside and out. And it's not a clusters of books. "Oh no,ohno ohno ohno." We all heard. "Something wrong Twi?" Vinyl asked, seemingly worried. "OH, IT'S ALL FINEEEE."- Oh god, this sounds like Lesson Zero, I thought "EVERYTHING IS FINE." "Uh...she's scaring me.." Brandon whispered, slowly backing up. "I think she is going insane..." I hesitantly said, half-expecting her to hit me "Miss Twilight? Is your brain ok?" Everyone forgot that Ditzy was there. "Yeah, yeah yeah yeahyeayea." She said, her expression lightening. "Something bad happened, didn't it?" Ditzy was worried about Twi. She was genuinely worried. "We need to talk..."
"Alright, let me get this straight, Discord is at it again-" "Yes" "-we appeared because of his work-" "Yes" "-and we need to fix this?" "Yes, but there are complications. Like the fact that Discord can and will alter reality to stop us." Twi bluntly exclaimed. "Great, so we need to find the God of Chaos and defeat him as he alters reality to his will and get us back home. Holy buck, this is going to be fun." I said with sarcasm. "AND we need to find out how to transform you back into a human, or you will go back as a pony. Or you can stay here as a pony. Your choice if we can't figure out how." the purple alicorn said without a sign of emotion. My eye twitched and my mouth twisted into an insane smile. "Uh...you okay Bio?" Vinyl softly asked. I slammed my head into the floor and tears flooded down my cheeks. "I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!"- I dropped onto my stomach and covered my head -"I WANT TO BE A HUMAN!I WANT TO HAVE INTERNET,COMPUTERS, AND PHO-HO-HONES!" I wailed. Derpy trotted over to me and patted my back. "It's alright Bio, you'll be alright." The ditz laid down next to me and comforted me, hushing me to a sob, singing to me a calming song. I took a final sniff and stood. Everyone was looking at me, with a slight hint of pity. "What? I just had a mental breakdown, I'm fine now." I said, thinking I probably looked like a sad puppy, confused and scared. "Annnnyway, the first thing to do is locate Discord. Usually he is messing with reality in the open when this happens, but it seems he has learned from past attempts. And to think we trusted him..." Twi looked furious. "Hey Derpy, do you think you can get the Doctor? I know who he is and I know he can help." I said with a smug smile. "Ok, be right back!" The ditz exclaimed as she crashed through the window. Everyone there face-hooved and laughed at the lovable ditz.
I decided to learn some spells, and when I asked Twilight tor spell books, she was more than happy to recommend and help find the books. I found an advanced resizing spell, and decided to try it. The spell took me a good hour to shrink a feather. Another to enlargen it. If I needed this spell, I would need to have Twi help do it. Oh well, doubt I would need it, but it could be useful. I decided to check out what Brandon and Vinyl were doing. Vinyl was wondering about, probably looking for something to listen to, and Brandon was reading a Daring Doo novel. He seemed to be enjoying the book. Speak of the devil.
First, people normally freak when a certain rainbow pony is heading towards you at about five thousand miles, but when you are good with magic, you could really care less. Right as the pegasus came inches from my face, she was abruptly stopped by a green field of magic surrounding her. I was the only one with that color of field. "Hi. My name is Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Equestria!" Rainbow said, trying to pose in my magic, not doing much. "If you are looking for a beginner pegasus, right there." I turned here to Brandon, who just waved and continued reading. I released her from the restraining field. "So, you're a beginner, eh?"- she pushed up into his face to get him out of the book -"You don't look like a rookie." "Just a sec." Brandon folded the page with one hoof. He gently put down the novel and bolted out the door, Rainbow following him. Me and Twi both rolled our eyes and continued performing spells. That's when we heard the VREEOOW, VREEOOW sound the TARDIS makes. The blue police box materialized in the library. When the box fully materialized, the brown stallion stepped out.
"Hey Doctor?" "Yes?" "Pears" "DEVIL FRUIT?! WHERE IS IT?! KILL IT WITH FIRE" Whooves kept doing this for a good five minutes, while spinning in circles, probably looking for the 'devil fruit'. I just snickered when he stopped. "Oi! Why would you do that?" The doc seemed to be a liiiiiitle mad. *snicker* "Oh, where I come from, we ALLLLLL know about you, and your hatred of pears."- I said with a smug smile -"Just a little joke, doc." "Wait...are you a human, stuck in a pony's body?" "Mmmmmhm." I merely said, still smiling. "I thought I was the only one! I mean, species turned into a pony, not a human" he shuffled around a bit, clearly embarrassed by the small slip up. "Any who, do you think you can take us to Discord when we need to?" "If you know where he is, the T.A.R.D.I.S can only warp to destinations based on coordinates." "Alright,good. Twi, can you search using a revealing spell?" "On it!" Twilight smiled, apparently happy to help. "Awesome. Derpy? Can you help Twilight look? If you can smash through a wall, you can sure as Tartarus bust through the ground or wherever he hides." "Ok!" She happily saluted me, dunno why she would be happy about smashing things, but whatever. Dash and Brandon came back in, huffing and puffing, congratulating each other. "Nice job, rookie." "Thanks. And I'm not that much of a rookie, if I was at least a couple inches behind you at the finish line." Brandon nudged her. "Well, yeah....anyway, you eggheads done with your spells?"- Rainbow said, then she noticed Ditzy and The Doctor. -"What are they doing here?" "We need them for an important mission!" Me and Twi said in unison. Not sure if I did, but she blushed and backed up. RD snickered. "Anyway, what type of mission? Also, where did they come from? Cuz this one's a naturally born flyer." Brandon blushed, rubbing his neck with his hoof. "Oh, we came from an alternate dimension!" The cyan pony had the strangest combinations of expressions on her face. It looked like confusion, anger, and curiosity all at the same time. "Wait...what?!" I chuckled a bit. "Long story, I'll save it for later." "TELL. ME. NOW!" She yelled, getting in my face. I simply pushed her back lightly. "We have more important matters. But for now, LET'S GET SOME FOOD! I'm really hungry." "But you just had a Pinkie Cupcake!" "You underestimate my power!"