Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, both princesses, and a couple of guards are turned into gryphons. It'll be funny, don't worry.
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, both princesses, and a couple of guards. What do these ponies have in common? Well, they all happened to be in the same room when THIS happened.
Inside the palace, Princess Luna peered out the window through a gap in the closed curtains.
“Hmm...”
Princess Celestia, (who sat at her desk in the same room) didn’t look up from her paperwork. “What was that, Lulu?”
“Does today seem ominous to you, sister?” The younger princess asked. “It feels like a day on which bad things happen.”
Celestia paused. Wordlessly, she lit up her horn, and drew the velvet curtains back, exposing the view of the gorgeous valley below them. Luna hissed, shielding her eyes, and retreated to a shadow by the bookshelf.
“Luna, it’s gorgeous outside. The weather is cool, there’s a breeze, and I saw no fewer than six little foals flying kites.” Celestia raised an eyebrow at her sister. “What, pray tell, makes this day seem ominous?”
Luna frowned. “Not the weather, sister! ...though the weather is a mite too cheery to be realistic... I mean the feeling it gives!”
She dove to the desk, peering up from behind it at Celestia. “Can’t you feel, deep inside your gut, the ominous displeasure of foreboding?!”
Celestia looked at her sister.
Luna looked back.
The elder sighed. “Luna, if this is about the agricultural census, it’s not that bad, we just-“
“THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE CENSUS!” Luna bellowed. “SUCH A MEANINGLESS TASK CONCERNS US NOT! WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE WELLBEING OF THE NATION, NEIGH, THE ENTIRE WORLD!”
Celestia sighed. “Luna, you still have to help on the census.”
Luna was crestfallen. “But-but-but,” she sputtered. “What type of census happens every year?!”
Celestia rose to her hooves, and gave a royal tsk. “One involving agriculture. Now, come along, Twilight Sparkle will be delivering the Ponyville data momentarily.”
Luna groaned, but rose to her hooves as well. “Already having her doing royal chores? The wings won’t be a long jump.”
“Now now, that’s a surprise. She’s supposed to figure that out all on her own.”
“Tia, do you know what that will do to the racial dynamic of her small group of friends?” Luna asked. “It will set off the balance! Social activists will cry bloody murder!”
Tia laughed. “No no, dear sister, they will be losing a unicorn, and since the unicorns are a bunch of racists, no one will care!”
Luna blinked. “Wait, but isn’t that-“
“Come along now, Lulu, they’ll be here any second.” Celestia waltzed out the door and down the palace corridors.
Luna groaned, then sullenly followed.
“Thanks for coming with me for this census, girls!” Twilight exclaimed. “I never knew agriculture was such a paperwork-heavy industry!”
Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie stood at the Canterlot train station, amidst a crowd of departing ponies. It was a clear blue day, and the sun was shining brightly. Twilight held two large suitcases in her magical grip.
Applejack waved a hoof. “Don’t mention it, sugarcube. We always hafta file with Canterlot anyhow, an Ah’m happy t’come along with you an talk to the Princesses about it.”
“Me too!” Exclaimed Pinkie Pie. “I always liked filing my family’s petriculture records! And I’m more than happy to help.”
Twilight giggled. “Well, thanks anyway. Come on, we need to be at the palace in ten minutes.”
The trio began to walk up the cobbled streets of Canterlot. “So, Twilight,” Applejack asked, “why does the Princess want you supervisin this years’ crop survey?”
Twilight shrugged. “I don’t know, AJ. I guess Princess Celestia thinks I should take an interest in the inner workings of Equestrian government-“
In the palace, Princess Celestia sneezed.
“-which she says is good for my learning development.” She smiled. “And, this year, Equestria is integrating the Gryphon Republic’s crop surveys, too, to better comprehend meteorological and geographical data!” Twilight practically beamed.
“But aren’t gryphons big meanies?” Pinkie asked.
“Well, no, actually Pinkie. They recently overthrew their king, who had, in the past decade, lead several military attacks on Equestria and its protectorates. But the new government, the Republic, is extremely cooperative!” Twilight smiled. “They have voting and tourism and free speech and everything!”
The three ponies arrived at the doors of Canterlot Palace. “Oh, well, that’s nice, I guess. Though I always wondered how those gryphons grew anthin’ up in those mountains.”
Princess Luna opened the doors to the palace. “The answer, dear subject, is that they grow and produce a number of rarer and expensive crops and products, with which they then trade to us for everything else.” She spoke commandingly.
“Princess Luna!” The three ponies bowed.
“Now, now, no need for such frivolities, my friends.” The ponies rose to their hooves. “Come. My sister awaits us within the throne room.”
The four ponies then walked down the halls of the palace, ready and eager to participate in the annual agricultural survey of Equestria.
“Argh! I hate participating in the annual agricultural survey of Equestria!” Luna bellowed.
She and Princess Celestia sat on the floor in the throne room, along with Twilight, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie. Massive stacks of papers were piled onto the marble floor, and the five ponies were examining them closely.
Celestia tsked. “Now now, Lulu, most of the work is already done for us! We just have to review and approve the numbers, then make a total estimate of the year’s growth. Then we can swap information with the Gryphon Republic, and we’re done!” She smiled at the three ponies. “And look! When young Applejack finishes her last paper, I believe that is it.”
Luna slumped onto the ground, grumbling.
Applejack spared a glance to the sullen princess, before responding. “Err... Yes, yer highness! The last report is from the Appleloosan fields, reportin two thousand barrels of apples, with a produce score of fruit-3.”
Twilight nodded, scribbling onto the paper in front of her. “Appleloosa, Apples, Fruit-3. Which brings the total score of Equestria this year to...” she scribbled on the paper a moment, adding the numbers up. “Fruit-608, Grain-994, Vegetable-577, Other-645, and Anomalous-8.”
“Anomalous?” Princess Luna’s ears perked up. “What does this imply?”
Twilight let out a small sigh. “Two rock farms, and a furniture orchard.”
Luna was silent for a moment, bewildered. “...Furniture? But-“
“No buts.”
“But-“
“No!” Twilight snapped. “Your highness really it’s best if we just don’t question it.”
Luna harrumphed, crossing her arms. “Fine.”
Celestia smiled. “Well then! We just need to send this to the Gryphon Republic, and we’ll be done! Let me just incinerate these.” The princess’s horn shimmered for a moment, and the piles of documents strewn about the floor vanished. “Twilight, a copy of the data, if you please.”
Twilight nodded, and transferred the numbers to a neat scroll. She then rolled it into a tube, sealed it, and transferred it to Princess Celestia.
The princess gratefully took it, and with a small surge of light, the scroll evaporated in a golden flame. The smoke twirled in the air, before flying gracefully out the window.
Luna smiled. “There! Now that that is over, perhaps we should-“
“No no, Luna,” Celestia chided. “We still have to wait for the gryphons’ response.”
Luna frowned. “And how long would that take?”
Twilight raised a hoof. “Well Princess, given the speed of the smoke’s travel before reconstitution, and the distance from here to the Republic, about forty-five minutes.”
“Oh, well, that’s not that long.”
“Then they have to formulate their reply, and send it back, so altogether, an hour and a half? Maybe more?” Twilight grinned sheepishly.
Luna facehooved.
“Neigh, Twilight Sparkle, thou owes me four hundred bits.”
“What?!” Twilight sputtered. “No way! You can’t just add hotels wherever you want, Princess!”
Luna scoffed, holding out her tiny plastic hotel. “I did not just add it, I purchased the hotel for this property three turns ago. I merely neglected to place it upon the board!”
It was two hours after they had sent the scroll. Twilight rolled her eyes. “Ugh, Princess Celestia, Luna’s cheating!”
“Am not!”
Celestia payed little attention, however, rubbing her two single-bit notes between her hooves, along with her sole owned property. Why am I so awful at this game? She thought. It’s basically a miniaturized version of my job.
Pinkie Pie watched gleefully, rolling about with most of the property cards and a small fortune in paper currency. “Heeheeheeheee!”
Applejack was sprawled by the foot of the throne, taking a nap.
The two guards by the door were making bets on the Monopoly game.
Suddenly, Celestia’s ears perked up. “Oh! Everypony, the scroll is about to arrive.” She surreptitiously swept the board game away, rising to her hooves.
Twilight prodded Applejack. “AJ! Wake up! The reponse from the gryphons is coming!”
“Huh? Whozzat?” Applejack lifted her head up, her stetson still covering her eyes. “Doc? There’s a moon tree in mah orchard...” her head began to droop.
Groaning, Twilight picked up Applejack magically, dragging the sleepy cowpony over to the small circle of princesses and agricultural enthusiasts. Applejack rose to her hooves, pulling back her hat and squinting. “Ah’m up, Ah’m up.”
“And here it is!” Celestia declared. As she spoke, a wisp of smoke trailed in through the window, spinning in front of the elder sister.
The smoke, however, did not immediately reform into a scroll. It spun around and around, the circle of smoke growing tighter and tighter until it resembled a small, tightly-packed ball.
“Umm... Princess?” Pinkie asked. “Is it supposed to do that?”
“No,” both princesses chorused. Celestia quickly threw a golden force field around the ball of smoke.
Luna pressed a hoof to her face. “It’s going to be a long week, I can tell.”
Then, the smoke exploded.
A brilliant flash of light filled the room, illuminating every crevasse and shadow with a white shine. Overpowering Celestia’s shield, the light encompassed two princesses, three Elements of Harmony, and two guards, standing by the door.
As quickly as it came, the light vanished, leaving the room seemingly darker than before. Seven figures were slumped onto the marble floor of the otherwise empty throne room.
Seven feathery, leoavian figures.
Twilight Sparkle slowly began to regain consciousness. “Ugh... what was that...”
She lifted her head, gazing blearily around the room. She saw several ponies slumped onto the floor, but couldn’t make out much more. She blinked repeatedly. “Ugh. My head feels funny. I feel funny.”
It was then that Twilight noticed something yellow, peeking up from the bottom of her peripheral vision. She tried to focus on it, but found it too close to her face. Huh.
She reached up a hoof to touch it, but stopped. In place of a lavender hoof was a yellow hand, skinny and covered in yellow scaley skin. Sharp talons curved outwards from each digit.
Twilight blinked. She quickly turned her head to look at the rest of her.
She saw the body of a lion, a deep purple, laying on the marble, with a long, tufted tail coiling from its rear end. Twilight followed the length of the body up, to a point where it turned to lavender-colored feathers, and a pair of large wings, all connected right to her at the neck and-
“...ohmygOD!” Twilight jumped into the air, freaking out. All of her limbs, even the new ones, flailed through the air, as the former unicorn rose and quickly fell hardly back onto the ground.”
“Aah aah aah okay Twilight don’t panic I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical and sensible reason for this for why you’re a GRYPHON and you shouldn’t panic and-“ Twilight began to hyperventilate, her new beak opened wide. She pressed a hand to her feathery chest, only to flinch it away. “Ow! What- oh, right, teehee, I have talons now, TALONS, okay okay okay...”
Twilight tried to bite her lip and failed. Utterly devastated, she collapsed back onto the marble, wailing.
Pinkie Pie, also a gryphon, fluttered over to her panicking friend. “Twilight? Are you alright?”
Twilight looked up, and her eyes widened.
Pinkie Pie was a gryphon. Light-pink feathers along her crest, the same color as her old coat, turned into a darker pink lion’s body, the same color as her old mane. Bright blue eyes stared down at Twilight with concern, capped with a small collection of curly hair-feathers, and a bright-yellow beak, curved into a smile.
“Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie exclaimed. She leapt into the air, wings stretched, and shakily glided about the throne room. “Tee hee! Wings are harder than I thought!”
“PINKIE!” Twilight bellowed. “You know what I mean! What... Why-“ Twilight glanced at the figures, slumped on the ground. “Oh, Celestia, Applejacks’a a gryphon too, and- OH! Celestia!” Twilight began to panic again.
There, lying next to each other on the ground, were the two unconscious forms of the Princesses of Equestria. Both of whom, of course, were now gryphons.
“Celestia’s a gryphon! The princesses are gryphons!” Twilight exclaimed, her ears drooped meekly downwards†. “What?! Why, I don’t-“
“Ugh...” Applejack began to groan. The orange gryphon rolled over, stretching her arms. “Tarnation, what was-ow!” She startled awake, cringing at the pressure as she lay down on her new wings. “What the hay! Why do... what the...”
The farmgryphon did a double-take, before looking up and down her new body rapidly. Her face assumed a similar expression to that of Twilight’s. “What the hay?!” She held a clawed hand to her face. “What the hay?!” A tufted tail wafted in front of her face.
“...WHAT THE FUCK?!”
“Language!” Pinkie scolded.
“Twalaaaaght!” Applejack moaned, her face in her... claws. “Twilight why in all the high hordes ah’ hell are we gryphons?” Her wings unconsciously flared in agitation. “Fix it!”
“I don’t know Applejack!” Twilight replied. “We were getting the scroll from the Republic and then it exploded into light and now we’re all gryphons!”
Applejack paled. “What about the princesse-“ her eyes glanced over to the diarchs of equestria, slumped on the floor. “-es ohsweetcelestia they got ‘em too!”
“SILENCE!” The blue gryphon rolled over, holding her eyes closed. “We are trying to sleep, dear subjects!”
The three Elements of Harmony gave Luna curious looks. “Um...” Twilight ventured, “Princess Luna?”
Luna raised her head. “What-“ upon seeing the three gryphons, she stopped, freezing in place. “Twilight Sparkle, thou art a gryphon.”
Applejack snorted. “Pot callin th’kettle black.”
Luna squinted. “I do not see how such a phrase applies in this situation, dear subject.” She raised a claw to emphasize her point. “Thine expression is used when one subject accuses the other for a trait they both shaaaaaaa...” The night princess caught sight of her new appendage and trailed off, staring.
Nobody moved for several seconds.
“Um, Princess Luna?” Twilight asked.
This shook Luna from her reverie. She jumped backwards, then quickly nudged Celestia with her wing. “TIA! Tia wake up!”
Celestia lay still for a moment, before stirring. “Alright, Luna, I’m up, I’m up.”
“No, Tia! This is important! Arise immediately!”
“Ugh. Fine.” Celestia stretched, sprawling out on the floor like a cat. Or a cat-bird thing. She rose completely to her hoo- er, feet, then glanced down at her subjects. “Now, what seems to be the trouble?”
Twilight looked up in awe at the gryphon before her. Solid white, standing at least as tall as Celestia had before, her beak and talons seemed to be the color of shimmering gold. The primaries of her wings were stained in the colors of her old mane, and billowed far behind her like a silken scarf.
Luna frowned very hard at Celestia’s reaction. “Sister! Why are you not reacting!”
Celestia tsked. “Now, Luna, I can’t very well react to the situation if I don’t know what it is, now can I? So, what seems to be the trouble?”
Pinkie Pie bounced in place. “We’re all gryphonies now!”
Celestia looked down at herself, then back to the rest of the gryphons in the room. “Yes, it appears we are.”
Silence.
“ART THOU MAD?!” Luna proclaimed. “Why has this provoked no reaction in you?! How did you not notice this as soon as you awoke?”
Celestia shrugged. “Well, like most things, I assumed I was hallucinating. Can never be too certain about these things, so I generally just kinda...” she waved a wing through the air. “Go with the flow, only act on things when somepony else has confirmed them.”
Twilight was floored. “And you get ponies to confirm reality for you every day?”
“Oh, heavens no.”
Twilight let out a breath.
“Sometimes I just guess. Can’t be looking too suspicious now, can I?”
The purple gryphon blinked, sat down, and said nothing.
Applejack cast her a sidelong glance, before questioning the gryphonized princess. “Er, yer highness, do you have any idea of what-“
“EEEEEEE!” A piercing cry came from the hallway. Every conscious head in the room turned towards the door.
Meekly, two amor-clad gryphons (admittedly, the armor no longer fit quite snugly) stepped back into the room. “Your highness,” one said, “several ponies are coming this way. We believe they have questions.”
Celestia groaned. “Yes, thank you, my little... er, gryphons. Do you know what they want?”
The other one chuckled. “Probably want t’know why two gryphons were guarding both princesses and three Elements alone in a room.”
Pinkie put an arm around Twilight’s neck, pulling the purple gryphon from her small stupor. “Oh, this is gonna be a fun week, Twilight. I can tell.”
“AAAAAAAH!”
“Really, nephew, do calm down. I’m not going to eat you.”
“AAAAAAAH!”
“Blueblood, it’s still me! We’re not sure what happened, but-“
“AAAAAAAH!”
“Blueblood I swear to me. Shut up this is giving me a migrane.”
“AAAAAAAH!”
“Ugh.”
Several hours after seven gryphons woke up in a throne room, Princess Celestia strolled back into that very same room.
Twilight and Applejack were close to the ceiling. “Ahh! We’re up really high!”
“That’s good!” One of the guards called out to them. “Just like that! Now try tilting your wings downwards, but barely.”
The two complied, and began to shoot forward, turning large circles around the grand room.
Pinkie, perched on the top ledge of a stained-glass window, chuckled. “Teehee! Silly ponies, don’t know how to fly.”
Twilight Sparkle arched a large circle around the room, before landing with a thump on the marble floor. “Princess!” One new gryphon looked at the other. “So what’s happening? How do we fix it?”
Celestia smiled down at her student with her new beak. “Well, Twilight, we’re not sure.”
Applejack was still in the air. “Yer not? You were in there fer hours.”
The princess sighed, nodding. “Yes, most of that was spent convincing the nobles that I was, in fact, me, and not some gryphon imposter trying to take over their country.”
Twilight nodded. “Okay... so what are we going to do?”
Celestia put a wing around her student, pulling her close to her side. “I am going to do some investigating, including a very stern talk with the gryphon ambassador. You are all going to go home.”
A nearly unanimous cry went out among the gathered. “What?!”
“Princess, we can’t go back t’our families like this!” Applejack cried. “We’d be lynched! Or at the very least, we’d be looked at funny!”
The princess shook her head. “Now, now. I’m certain that with a few well-placed words, you will be able to get along just fine. This is modern Equestria, I do not believe that Ponyville will treat you with disrespect.”
Pinkie pointed a claw accusingly at the princess. “Double-negative user!”
“You are right to have concerns, Pinkie. However, whatever solution we can devise, it shall not come about at least until the end of the week.” She smiled down at the gryphons. “And I have no intention of trying to keep you from your friends.”
“But-but-but-but-!” Twilight sputtered.
Celestia waved a talon. “No buts. Rest assured, I will inform you all when we learn more about this situation. For now, we need to be sure that everypony is relaxed.”
There was a pregnant pause.
“Oh, excuse me. Every... person. Yes. We need to be sure that everyperson is relaxed.”
“But, yer highness,” Applejack began, “Ah don’t mean no disrespect, but-“
“Now off! All of you!” Celestia shooed them away with her wings. “The two o’clock to Ponyville leaves in a few minutes, and I expect you all to be on it. And remember–think positive.”
Luna nodded. “We will see you all again soon.”
Three gryphons sat in the train car, further towards the back.
Pinkie Pie sat on the ground, batting at the tuft of her new tail like it was a cat toy.
Twilight Sparkle lay on one of the seats, breathing steadily as her head grew more and more heavy.
Applejack was seated vertically, across from Twilight. Not as tired as her friend, she fidgeted in her seat, wringing her hat in her claws, still unused to several of her new body parts. “Say, Twi, you still with us?”
The lavender gryphon’s head jolted upwards. “Hmm? Oh, yeah, sorry AJ. I’m just really tired...”
“Tired? Why, you’ve been awake as long as the rest’ve us.”
Twilight nodded, stifling back a yawn. “Yes, but I was also awake much longer this morning. I wanted to be sure I had everything I needed...” her head slowly began to droop again.
Applejack looked out the window. The sun was only now beginning to descend through the sky. “Ah couldn’t possibly sleep right now. Ah’m so worried! Ah can’t go home lookin like this!” She gestured at her new body, with her new hands.
“Applejack, I’m sure it will be fine,” Twilight countered. “Nopony will do anything major, and if anypony makes a scene, just ignore them.”
Applejack took her hat from her hands, and replaced it on her head. “Ah’m not worried about the ponies in town, Twilight. If they all do anythin stupid, we kin chalk it up to fear. Nothin major. Ah’m worried about mah family.”
“Why?” Twilight asked.
“Well, Granny’s not much of the forward-thinking sort, if you catch my meaning. She’s more than old enough t’remember when we were actually fighting gryphons. An you remember Gilda? When Granny found out about her, she scowled like nopony’s business. Wouldn’t talk about it all day! Now, Ah don’t know if that was just because of the mean pranks she pulled, or... Twilight?”
But Twilight Sparkle had already fallen asleep, curled up on her seat like a cat.
Applejack sighed. “Welp, it looks like it’s just you n’ me, Pinkie.”
“THIS IS SO MUCH FUN” Pinkie responded, continuing to bat at her tail.
Applejack chuckled, despite herself, at Pinkie’s antics. She then pulled her hat down over her eyes, and tried to follow Twilight to sleep.
An hour later, Pinkie was shaking her awake. “Applejack! We’re heeeere!”
“Huh? What?” Applejack pried her eyes open, only to see a grinning pink gryphon in front of her. “GAH-!”
She jumped out of her chair, only to forget about her new body and stumble to the ground. “Huh, what? Oh, right.” She blinked. “Pinkie! Why’d you go n do that?”
“Because the train stopped, Applejack,” Pinkie responded, sitting down on her haunches. “All of the passengers were asked to get off, but the conductor didn’t want to wake you up, so he asked me to do it!” She pointed a claw at the compartment door, where a conductor pony sat, trembling in his hooves. He shrunk a little when Pinkie pointed at him, but managed to give a half-hearted wave.
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Alright, Pinkie. Help me get Twilight up.”
Pinkie Pie and Applejack managed to rouse Twilight, and together, the three gryphons departed the train. The second they stepped out into Ponyville, they were the subject of several odd looks. Twilight was too tired to notice, and Pinkie didn’t seem to, but Applejack was acutely aware of the hushed whispers and quick glances that followed them.
Twilight’s Library came up first. The sleepy gryphon mumbled her thanks, then knocked on the door.
They was some scuffling, and Spike responded, swinging the door open. “Hello, welcome to Books n Branches LibraREE-!” He jupmed backwards upon seeing the three, his eyes widening in fear. “Oh, uh, sorry about that! Heh heh heh... How may I help you fine gryphonesses?”
Twilight yawned. “Hmm... Hiya Spike. I’m just gonna go t’bed. Seeya later...” she strolled in to the door, and made her way up the stairs.
Spike blanched. “What? Um, excuse me, Miss, You’re not supposed-“
“Spike.”
Spike’s head whirled around to face the orange gryphon. “Hmm? Oh, hi, sorry, have we met before? Could you tell your friend to-“
“Spike, it’s me, Applejack.” Applejack glared at the baby dragon. “There was a magical accident up in Canterlot, an now we’re all stuck like this.”
“Applejack?” Spike asked. He looked up and down at the gryphon. “You know, now that you mention it, you do look like her. Same colors, at least. But how can I be sure?”
“Last weekend, I found you n’ Apple Bloom up by th’ South Field, an you were-“
“OKAY! I believe you!” Spike yelled. “Wow. Okay, then, hi Applejack. So, that’s Pinkie?”
Pinkie waved a claw. “Hiya!”
“And that other gryphon was... Twilight?!”
Applejack nodded. “Yep. She was a mite tuckered out, on account of how early she woke up this mornin.”
Spike nodded. “She did wake up really early today. Huh. That’s... weird.”
Applejack snorted. “Tell me about it. Well, Ah have t’head on back down t’the farm, an I expect Pinkie has somewhere she needs t’be-“
Pinkie nodded. “Yupperooni! I have a really fun idea planned!”
“-so we’re gonna head off. You think you ‘kin keep an eye on Twilight?”
Spike nodded. “Yeah, sure... Wow. How long are you gonna be like this?”
Applejack sighed. “We dunno. The princesses are workin on it, so we’ll hear from them when they find something.”
Spike’s jaw dropped. “Wait, the princesses-“
“Yep.”
“So that means they-?!”
“Yep.”
Spike whistled. “Dang. Man, I can’t wait to see that.”
Applejack let out a harsh laugh. “Hopefully neither of us have to wait too long, sugarcube. Ah’ll se ya later.”
With that, Applejack departed. Pinkie left, hopping in the direction of Sugarcube Corner, much to the surprise of the townsfolk, seeing a gryphon hopping.
Applejack headed for the farm, an apprehensive expression across her feathery features.
† Gryphons have ears. Big pointy fuzzy ones. No, really.
Well, sort of weird. Her paws, that is, the appendages on the end of her back legs, were like oddly-shaped hooves. They functioned in primarily the same way.
Applejack’s front legs were a bit of a different matter. While they still moved like usual, they had long talons as her new fingers, and she was acutely aware of their feeling as she walked along the dirt path.
Her tail, now much longer, swung gratuitously behind her, and her wings rested oddly upon her back.
Up ahead, she could see the farm, perched on top of the hill. Rows and rows of apple groves slowly milled past her as she walked towards her home, an anxious expression across her features.
Oh please let nopony be home... No, wait, please let everypony be home! No, err...
Applejack’s ears drooped. Oh consarnit, Ah don’t even know who Ah want t’be home!
Forcing herself to breathe, Applejack walked through the lawn, and towards the house. Before she could reach it, however, she heard a voice call out her name.
“Applejack!”
She turned towards the sound of the voice, only to see Apple Bloom, running from one of the further fields to meet her. “Hiya Applejack! Yer late back from Canterlot! How were the princesses! What did... you...”
The filly trailed off, as she approached her sister. She slowed to a trot, before stopping completely. “...Yer not Applejack.” Apple Bloom’s face betrayed her fear and embarrassment.
Applejack’s heart wrenched. “Well, actually-“
“Miss, can Ah help you?” A strong voice came from behind her, causing her to jump quickly and turn around. Standing there, right behind her, was Big Macintosh.
“OH! Uhh, heya Big Mac...” AJ forced a smile.
Big Mac trotted around her, and put a hoof defensively around Apple Bloom. “Miss, Ah can’t say we’ve ever met before, so don’t take this the wrong way.” He scowled at his gryphonized sister. “But why are you on mah farm, and why are you scarin mah sister?”
HIS farm? Heh, that nutter.
“Oh, um, well, Mac y’see, Ah-“
“We don’t take to kindly to yer type around her, Miss,” Macintosh continued. “Now we’re civil ponies, so Ah don’t want t’do anythin uncouth, but Granny remembers the wars all too well, so if-“
“Mac! It’s-“
“-YOU don’t take kindly to what Ah’m sayin, you best be gettin-“
“AH’M APPLEJACK!” Applejack screamed.
Silence. Macintosh didn’t speak a word, hugging Apple Bloom tightly to his side. His eyes were wide.
Apple Bloom, on the other hand, looked up at Applejack. “...Yer Applejack?”
“Mac, Ah know it’s weird, but up in Canterlot there was some magical mumbo-jumbo, an then this happened.”
Macintosh looked her up and down, confused. “Ah-Ah don’t believe you.”
“Really? Why else would Ah be wearing pappy’s hat?” She grabbed the hat from her head and waved it in his face. “Hmm? An why would Ah be lyin t’you?”
Macintosh blinked. “You... you could’ve replaced her.”
Applejack snorted. “Why? Why would anypony go through that much trouble to replace a god-done farmer? Here, look-“ Applejack replaced her hat upon her head, “-remember mah sixth birthday?”
Slowly, Macintosh nodded. Applejack continued. “Good! Now, remember cousin Apple Spice, she went up to the picnic table, with the cherries, remember?”
Mac nodded. “Yeah, yeah Ah remember the cherries.”
“Then you remember when she started puttin cherries in all the water, sayin it’d make it taste better, an then Auntie Appleseed-“
“-choked on the cherries and hopped on the table,” they finished in unison.
Macintosh blinked. “Sweet Celestia, it really is you, AJ.”
Applejack smiled. “Ah told ya-“
She was then tackled to the ground by a small filly. “Applejack! Wow you’re a gryphon! Ah thought everypony said all gryphons were meanies! Are they all meanies? Yer not a meanie! Granny always seemed a bit angry when they said that!” She hugged Applejack’s neck. “Wow AJ yer fluffy! What’s the beak for? Is it sharp? An the talons? Wow you have wings can you fly?”
Applejack chuckled, holding her sister tightly. “Heya Bloom.”
A moment later, Macintosh was participating in the hug as well. “...Ah’m sorry, AJ. Ah was a bit mean t’ya.”
The gryphon waved a claw. “Don’t worry about it, brother. If it were you, Ah’dve probably done th’same thing.”
Once again standing up, Apple Bloom hopped on Applejack’s back. “Go flyin!”
“Maybe later.”
“Awww...”
Macintosh pawed the ground. “So, what happened?”
“In Canterlot, we were waiting on a note to arrive from the Gryphon Republic,” Applejack noted, “but when it came by, there was a huge flash of light instead of a scroll. Celestia put a shield around it, but it didn’t do any good. When we all woke up, we looked like this.”
Macintosh blinked. “You all did? Even the-“
“Even the princesses, yeah.”
Mac whistled. “That’d be a sight. How long this supposed t’last fer?”
Applejack hung her head. “Ah dunno. The princesses are workin on it, an they’ll let us know when they have something. Till then, well...”
“...Right. Uh, how’re we gonna break this t’Granny?”
Applejack glanced at the farmhouse. “Where is she?”
“Inside. She’s prolly takin her afternoon nap by now.” Mac looked at his sister, who was peering at the farm with worry. He chuckled.
Applejack glanced at him. “What?”
He put a hoof on her face, rubbing slightly. “Heh, yer fluffy.”
Applejack rolled her eyes.
Granny Smith was gently shaken awake.
Her eyes startled open, and she lifted her head from her rocking chair. “Huh? Whozzat?”
Big Macintosh sighed. “S’me, Granny.”
Granny nodded. “Hey there, Macky. Ah was just takin mah nap, boy, you don’t hafta worry about me.”
Big Mac nodded. “Ah’m not worried about you, Granny.”
“That’s good.”
“But there is something I need to tell you.”
Granny Smith sat up straighter in her chair, concerned. “Oh? What is it, Macky?”
“It’s... about Applejack. She’s fine! She’s fine,” he added, upon seeing the sudden look of distress upon his grandmother’s face. “She’s just outside the door there.”
“Well, what’s she doin that she can’t tell me about this herself?” Granny snorted. “Can’t be nuthin too embarrassin t’show me?”
Macintosh chewed on his words for a moment. “...Well, Granny, y’know she was up in Canterlot for the census, right? She went up there with Twilight.”
“Mmm, Ah remember. It was only this mornin, Macky.”
“Right. Well, there was a magical, erm, mishap, Ah suppose you could call it. It was a bit of a surprise, an they have ponies workin on it, but in the meantime, AJ’s a bit... different.”
Granny Smith digested his words for a moment, before she began to chuckle to herself, a rasping mirthful hack, unique to old mares. “Oh, Ah bet it’s a hoot. She grow a fifth hoof? Naw, lemme guess, she’s a stallion. No, wait, she’s pink!” Granny clutched at herself in laughter.
“Not... any of those things, Granny.” Macintosh sighed. “Here, lemme just show you.” He turned to the door. “AJ?”
Granny Smith stopped laughing, holding herself in long enough to look at the door. Macintosh gripped her hoof tightly, and the old mare grew slightly apprehensive of what her granddaughter was going to look like.
The door gently swung open, to reveal a meek-looking orange gryphon, wearing a worn brown stetson. She waved a claw.
“Hiya, Granny.”
Dear reader, allow me to tell you a story. Or at least, a different story.
And I’m not really going to tell you, I’m just going to give you the specifics.
Now, you might be expecting some dramatic reveal, and lots of family tension and drama, following this encounter between Applejack the Gryphon and her grandmother, yes?
The short of it, no. Take a look at the tags, attributed to this story. Do you see ‘drama’ anywhere? No? Well, that’s because there’s a nice, bright, ‘comedy’ tag there, instead.
And if any of you say the word “Dramady” I’m going to strangle you.
Anyway, back to Granny Smith.
It has been implied, in the previous chapter and this one, that Granny Smith is prejudiced against Gryphons, and will react very poorly to Applejack’s confession.
In fact, if it were any other mare, this would be accurate.
When Smith was a spry young mare of 24, there was indeed a national conflict between the Gryphon Nation (not yet a Republic) and Equestria.
And Apple Smith? Well. She had a bit of a reputation.
If you catch my meaning.
The stallion she happened to be ‘with’ at the time, (or at least, ‘with the most’) was shipped out from the brand-new ramshackle Ponyville homes to the foreign front in the Southern Gryphish Isles, to fight and die for his country.
Apple Smith went with him.
The boat ride took three weeks, and in that time, Apple Smith had moved on from that stallion, and three others. By the time she stepped onto the Southern Gryphish Isle, she was a single mare, willing to do her part to die for her country.
Eventually, after much dying for her country, among many married generals, she was stationed as a nurse, in a tent hospital, close to the front line. Apple Smith thought that the sexy nurse outfit suited her well, and that she would have quite a bit of fun.
It turns out, however, that front line hospitals are filled more with injured and dying soldiers, and less restless stallions, looking for a good time. It wasn’t quite what Apple Smith was expecting, but she did her best to help out, and actually began to progress in her knowledge as a healer.
One day, Apple Smith was asked to give periodic examinations to a patient who was suffering from diabetes, and needed regular care. Smith happily accepted the responsibility, and proceeded to the patient’s room.
What the head nurse neglected to tell Apple Smith, was that this patient was actually a POW. She found herself face-to-face, locked in a cell, with a rather handsome-looking southern gryphon.
“Hellou,” he said, with a very pleasant accent.
Smith smiled.
Needless to say, Apple Smith treated this poor POW for several weeks, before eventually becoming his assigned nurse, even as he transferred from the meager front-line hospital to a more secure army facility.
Contrary to pattern, however, Apple Smith was completely and madly in love with the exotic foreigner. And he felt the same about her. They wrote poems and letters and all sorts of ridiculously Byronesque nonsense.
Eventually, the war ended (Guess which side won! Here’s a hint, the one commanded by a demigod) and Apple Smith had to return to Equestria. There was a tearful goodbye, and the lovers never saw each other again.
Back home, ponies noted how much more mature the promiscuous young Apple Smith acted. Despite returning from the war with a more solemn disposition, she folded into an arranged marriage, almost as soon as she returned.
Several weeks later, the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She was quite far along, leading several ponies to whisper that perhaps the young Apple Smith had been unladylike overseas?
While this was undoubtedly, totally, completely, undeniably and ineffably true, she had only ‘been’ with one individual for nearly an entire year prior to returning home. However, while every other returning mare and stallion despised their gryphon enemy, she alone saw them in a better light. So, she refrained from divulging her affair to her family.
She was quite relieved (and ever so slightly tinged with a sorrowful disappointment) when the child came out with four hooves in place of paws, and a snout in place of a beak.
The young colt did have diabetes, though.
And so, with this wonderfully tragic backstory behind her, we return to Apple Smith, now known as Granny Smith, in the most peculiar situation.
“Hiya, Granny.”
Granny Smith stared at the gryphon in front of her. Orange fur and feathers, green eyes, holding herself the same way. It was undeniably her granddaughter.
Applejack’s brow grew creased with worry. Oh consarnit she’s gonna disown me or have a heart attack or-
Granny’s thoughts on the other hand, were more straightforward. Oh.
-go into a rage sic the town on me try n start a riot or-
Mah.
-will she let me sleep in the house? Oh Ah’m sorry Granny Ah didn’t mean fer this to-
God.
Granny Smith cleared her throat. “Ah’m goin t’bed.”
With that, she pushed her way out of her rocker, and hobbled over to the stairs, and up to her bedroom.
Applejack blinked. “Uh... G’night, Granny.” She glanced at Macintosh. He just shrugged.
“T’be honest, AJ, that could’ve gone a lot worse.”
Big Mac shook his head. “Naw, Ah think she understands that it was an accident. Ah mean, everypony knows she was in the war, an nopony who remembers the war likes gryphons. Ah think she’s just tryin to cope without hurtin yer feelings.”
She nodded. “That makes sense, Mac. Ah’m glad she managed to contain her anger so well.”
“Yep. Our Granny has the self-control of a saint, especially when it comes to her anger at gryphons.”
“Yep.”
A little while later, the two elder Apple siblings strolled out of the farmhouse.
Applejack rolled her neck, stretching her wings and relaxing her shoulders. “Alright, brother, what chores kin we get done today?”
“Well, there are a few rows in the West Field that are ready to be bucked.”
So, the pair moved to the West Field. Once there, Macintosh unhitched his wagon and positioned some barrels around the base of the tree. “So, y’think you kin still buck?”
Applejack laughed. “Brother, Ah could buck you into next week. Let’s get this show on th’road.”
She walked over to the base of the tree, swung herself around, and kicked backwards into the wood.
Thunk.
The tree shook a little, but no apples fell. Macintosh choked down a laugh.
Applejack glared at him. “Quiet, you! Ah just need to get used t’these, er, new muscles.” She flexed her legs, wiggling the toes of her paws, then once again reared up her hind legs and bucked the tree with all her might.
Thunk.
Once again, nothing.
Mac laughed aloud, causing Applejack to grow red at the ears. He trotted over to the gryphoness, patting her on the back. “Well, AJ, Ah can’t say Ah blame ya, what with gettin used to yer new appendages an everythin. You just leave this hard work t’the stallions, an Ah’ll-“
One of Applejack’s wings shot out and struck Macintosh on the head. “Oww!”
“Oh, sorry Mac,” Applejack grinned, “You know, Ah’m still gettin used to these new appendages an everythin.”
Macintosh scowled at her.
At that moment, a cream-colored earth pony came bolting into the farm. “Applejack! Macintosh! Something’s wrong with Pinkie! She...”
Bonbon trailed off as she caught sight of Applejack. The farmgryphon tipped her hat at the mare. “Evenin, Bonnie. What seems to be the trouble?”
Bonbon blinked, looking at Applejack.
“AAAAAAAH!!!”
Applejack sighed. “Of course.”
Bonbon darted back towards the town, screaming. Macintosh sighed. “Wonder what Pinkie’s up to?”
Applejack’s ears flattened to her skull. “Whatever it is, Ah don’t wanna know. Now what else is there t’do?”
Macintosh thought for a moment, before glancing at Applejack’s back. “Say, AJ, you know how t’fly?”
Applejack looked at her wings. “Well, sorta. Count n’ Suite, the two guards who were there with us, used to be pegasi, so they already knew how t’fly. While we were waiting on th’princess, they showed use the basics.” Her eyes narrowed. “...Why d’ya ask?”
Macintosh shrugged. “Well, Ah was just thinkin, since you kin fly now, an we’d save a mountain o’ bits...” he trailed off, smiling at his sister.
Applejack’s eyes widened in realization. Her long tail tucked itself between her legs. ‘Oh, no. No no no no no. Ah refuse. Ah don’t care how much we’d be savin, Ah am not, ever, not never ever gonna-“
Ten minutes later, Applejack was cleaning the rafters of the barn.
She hovered in mid-air, using her dextrous talons to clean even the tiniest corners of the dirty support beams. She grumbled to herself as she did so. “Darn Macintosh... Ah’d like t’see HIM turned into a gryphon, who’d be laughin then... Clean the rafters, yeah right.”
She scrubbed at the rotting wooden bars, clearing away pigeon droppings, dust, and an accumulation of dirt from however long it had been since they had rebuilt this damn thing.
Applejack’s tail hung below her, the orange tuft dangling only several feet above the straw-covered floor.
A certain terrier walked into the barn, smelling her owner inside. While Winona could tell something was off about Applejack, the nose knows, and the smart dog understood that the thing that was currently inside was indeed friendly.
At least, Winona knew it well enough to not bark at the strange gryphon, flying high towards the ceiling of the barn. What did attract her attention, however, was a certain delightful-looking tuft, dangling enticingly above the ground.
Winona bowed down, wagging her tail, not taking her eyes off of her new toy. The tuft of fur waved back and forth, twitching occasionally.
After a moment, Winona decided she had to taste it. She jumped as high as she could into the air, and chomped down on the delightful treat.
“Y’know, Ah bet Ah could’ve told him- YOWW!” Applejack cried out in pain as she was forcibly pulled downwards, a certain brown-and-white dog hanging off of her tail. In desperation, she landed on the ground. “Winona!”
Winona, still happily munching on the tail, sat at the sound of her name, looking at Applejack with her tail wagging, her owner’s tail still chomped firmly between her teeth.
Applejack groaned. “Winona, drop. Drop.”
Winona was never very good with commands. She instead sprung to her feet, tail in the air as she assumed the “I-wanna-play-tug-of-war” position.
Applejack began to panic. “Now, Winona, This is a bit of a drastic measure, hmm? Just, drop the tail, and this can all be over and done with.”
With a playful puppy-dog glee, Winona pulled with all her might on the tail.
“IPE!” Applejack let out a sound that was not quite earthly, as a ripping pain shot up her spine, and she felt the soft tearing of flesh around the dog’s teeth. “Winona! Bad dog! You drop that ri-AUGH!”
To at least prevent any more pain in her spine, Applejack grabbed her tail with her hands, transferring the torque of the pull into her arms, which would easily take it. “Now, Winona, y’know Ah love you, but yer gonna hafta stop if you want me t’play nice.”
Winona, happy as a clam, once again pulled on the tail in her mouth, attempting to participate in a very misguided game of tug-of-war.
Applejack shook her head. “This was your choice, dog. Don’t say Ah didn’t warn ya.”
An hour later, Applejack walked back into the house, a grumpy expression across her beak.
Winona followed, meekly, with her ears bowed and her tail between her legs.
Macintosh sat at the table, drinking a glass of iced tea. He saw the dog and nodded. “Trouble with the rafters?”
Without saying a word, Applejack went to the cabinets of the kitchen, and pulled out a roll of gauze. She silently sat down across from her brother, took her long tail in her hand, and began to wrap a section of it near the tuft, which was bloodied and beaten.
Mac glanced at the dog. Winona looked up at him and cautiously wagged her tail.
Applejack scowled at the dog. Winona put her head down again and stopped wagging her tail.
Big Mac fought with all of his might to keep himself from laughing. Applejack noticed this and pointed a claw, accusingly. “Not a word.”
Mac’s face twisted as he fought not to smile. “Nnope.”
The orange gryphon finished wrapping her injury, and returned the gauze to its place in the kitchen. The two sat in silence for a moment.
There was the creaking of floorboards as Granny Smith descended from the upper floor. “Alrighty, that was a fine nap. Ah think Ah’ll-“
The old mare froze as she saw Applejack.
Applejack twiddled her thumbs, nervously. (Thumb twiddling is genetically ingrained in all creatures, regardless of thumbs)
Granny pursed her lips, as memories returned to her. She opened her mouth to speak. “AJ, Ah-“
“No, Granny, it’s alright.” Applejack interrupted her grandmother. “Ah understand that this must make you feel angry, and bring back some awful bad memories of the war, and Ah understand that.”
“But Ah-“
“You don’t have t’explain yerself t’me, Granny. If Ah had seen the things you’d seen, and our positions’d been reversed, Ah can’t rightly say that Ah’d have as good self-control as yer expressin now.”
Granny Smith stamped a hoof on the floor. “Now one second, AJ, Ah meant to say-“
Applejack raised her hands into the air. “Don’t sweat it, Granny. Ah know it’s hard, keepin all the anger trapped inside. But Ah don’t blame ya, no matter what you might say in the future, so y’don’t hafta explain this t’me.”
Granny Smith gave up. “Fine, you feathery twit. Whatever you say. Ah’ll be outside.” With that, Granny proceeded to her rocking chair on the porch, grumbling about ‘bull-headed birdcats’.
Macintosh looked at her sister. “S’nice that she’s holdin herself back so well.”
Applejack smiled. “Ah agree.”
Big Mac finished his tea. “Welp, Ah hope that th’rest of the ponies in town are as mature about this.”
AJ drummed her talons on the table. “...Well, it’s a good thing that won’t be tested anytime t’day, right?”
Macintosh shrugged. “Weeelllll.....”
Applejack hauled the cart of apples down towards Ponyville, mumbling to herself once again. “Darn brother... Thinks this is sooo funny...”
“HIYA AJ!”
“Wha-ow!” Applejack stumbled and fell flat on her face. Apple Bloom cringed, retreating to her hiding place in the cart.
Applejack slowly got back to her feet. “Ow, this thing hurts,” she said, rubbing her beak.
“Sorry, AJ.” Apple Bloom smiled at her sister. “Yer goin t’town?”
Applejack began pulling the cart once again. “That’s right. Ah go into town every day at this time, Bloom, y’all know that.”
Apple Bloom shrugged. “Well yeah, usually. But Ah thought Mac’d handle it, seein as yer all, y’know,” she waved a hoof. “Gryphony.”
Applejack sighed. “Yeah, that’s what Ah thought, too. But this just goes to show an important lesson, now.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yep. There’s no excuse for not doin yer chores.” Applejack nodded with finality.
Apple Bloom groaned. “Aww, man.” Her ears perked up again. “Can Ah help you sell apples? Please?”
Applejack pursed her beak. “Ah dunno, Bloom, you weren’t exactly... helpful, last time.”
“Pleeease?” Apple Bloom looked to her sister with pleading eyes. “Ah promise Ah’ll be quiet. Ah’ll just do what you say, an help you out an stuff. Ah won’t try to sell anything.”
“...Oh, fine. Just don’t go harassin customers, ya hear? If ponies want apples, they’ll come t’the stand.”
Apple Bloom nodded, smiling broadly. “Thanks AJ! Yer the best!”
The two apple siblings rolled the wagon into town, just in time to see several more typical vendors setting up their stands among the Ponyville market. Applejack gave a sigh of relief as she settled back into her routine, making a beeline for their own stand area.
She stopped the wagon and removed the table and sign, quickly setting up the apparatus needed for selling round red fruit. She hated to admit it, but Applejack was breezing through the complex tasks with ease, the dexterity in her newfound fingers growing with each passing minute.
As they were loading the barrels of apples off of the cart, however, Applejack began to notice ponies staring. It made her uncomfortable, sure, but she could understand what they were staring at. It wasn’t that hard to guess.
She was just hoping it wouldn’t affect business too bad.
As the signature stand finished its assembly, Applejack took her customary place behind it, looking out to awaiting customers. Her fellow vendors, stationed in rows in the town square, continued to cast her sidelong glances, but they remained silent on the matter.
Apple Bloom grinned, oblivious to the icy attitudes of the other ponies. “This is gonna be great!”
As the clock struck five, the afternoon market officially opened.
Ponies flooded into the market, saddlebags on their backs and bits in their purses, eager to restock their homes. As per the norm, a small queue of ponies began to approach Applejack, looking to restock on apples.
However, as each pony would approach the stand, they would catch a glimpse of the orange gryphon running it, and not-so-subtly change their direction. For many ponies, not-so-subtly meant not-subtly-at-all. And for some, it meant say-aloud-hey-that’s-a-gryphon-and-then-turn-around-and-run-away.
Applejack grumbled to herself. This far into the afternoon market, she had usually already sold two whole baskets of apples. Insofar, however, she had not sold one.
Apple Bloom, oblivious to all the little racist ponies, turned her doleful eyes on Applejack. “...Maybe they don’t like th’apples we have out now?”
Applejack sighed. “Yeah, maybe, Sugarcube. Ah’ll go get another barrel.” With a heavy heart, the gryphon went around the cart, pulling another large barrel out of the bed.
As soon as she vanished out of sight behind her cart, a brown stallion approached the stand. “Hello, what apples do you have today?”
Apple Bloom brightened. “Oh, heya Mr. Turner! We have lots n’ lots. Nopony seems t’be buyin apples today. You kin take yer pick.”
Time Turner brightened considerably. “Oh, wonderful! The Granny Smith’s always seem to be gone by the time I get here.” He reached forward, and began to load various apples into his saddlebags.
At that moment, Applejack returned from behind the cart, hauling a barrel of apples. “Well hey there, Time Turner. How’s yer day been?”
Turner, still immersed in the apples, responded without looking. “Oh hello, Applejack. Uneventful, really. It’s really quiiiii...” he trailed off as he caught sight of the orange gryphon, his eyes bulging from his skull.
Applejack cocked an eyebrow. “There a problem, Turner?”
Time Turner’s jaw began working, but no sounds came out. Finally, the poor stallion managed to stammer a hesitant “N-no...” from his mouth.
Applejack smiled, which may or may not have looked quite threatening on a razor-sharp beak. “Well, that’s good. An yer right, today has been quite uneventful, hasn’t it?”
Turner blinked. “Uh, p-please excuse me, I just remembered I had an urgent appointment... over on the other side of town.” He turned and began to high-tail it away from the stall.
“Turner!” Applejack called.
Hesitantly, the stallion paused, and swiveled his head to face her. “Y-yes?”
“You forgot t’pay fer your apples.”
Turner glanced down at his bulging saddlebags, filled with fresh apples. “You’re right, it appears I have.”
He didn’t move.
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Turner, y’know it’s me, right? Ain’t nothin’s changed. There was a bit of a magical mixup, and now Ah’m like this. But that ain’t the end of the world, an it certainly ain’t the end of mah business, y’hear?”
Time Turner nodded dumbly.
“Good. So why don’t you come over here, pay fer yer apples, an if y’all promise to spread it around that Ah’m perfectly safe, Ah’ll give you a nice discount. How does that sound.”
Turner finally managed to look Applejack in the eye, and gave a weak smile. “Heh, alright, heh heh! Sure...” He gingerly approached the stall, and passed his bits over to her awaiting claws.
He flashed a brief smile before running as fast as he could to the other side of Ponyville.
Applejack groaned, and slammed her head down on the table. Her ears flattened against her head. “Oh, Celestia, this is irritatin.”
Apple Bloom looked at her sister with worry. “AJ? Is this all because of how y’look?”
The gryphoness sighed. “Yes, Bloom. It’s cause of how Ah look.”
“But don’t the ponies know it’s still you? It’s not like much is different.”
“Well, Apple bloom, some ponies are just afraid of what they don’t entirely understand.”
Apple Bloom scrunched her nose. “What? But, Ah don’t understand a lot of the stuff Miss Cheerilee says, but Ah ain’t afraid of it. That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Well-“
APPLEJACK!
No, wait. Pinkie was supposed to say that, not me.
Well, my apologies, one moment.
“APPLEJACK!”
Pinkie Pie, the gryphon, popped up in front of Applejack. The farmer jumped backwards, as many are wont to do when they suddenly find themselves confronted with a pink gryphon that was smiling manically. “H-hey there, Pinkie. What’s up?”
“Eat this!” Pinkie shoved a plain-looking pastry in Applejack’s mouth.
Applejack, used to such odd force-pastrying from Pinkie, chewed obediently, admittedly curious as to the flavor of the mystery treat.
Taste sensations exploded onto the apple farmer’s tongue. Buttery, warm, succulent flavors filled her mind.
Applejack’s eyes rolled backwards as she ate. “Pinkie, this’s amazin! what is this?”
Pinkie Pie giggled. “That’s a surprise, silly. Just enjoy it!”
The insane pink gryphon vanished, just as quickly as she arrived. Applejack finished chewing on her treat, smiling, despite herself.
“This is delicious. Ah don’t know what it is, but Ah can’t believe Ah’ve never had it before?”
Apple Bloom looked up at her sister jealously. “What’sit taste like?”
Applejack smecked her tongue. “Buttery, but also, like, a little bit tangy? Savory, Ah suppose.” She smiled down at the filly. “Don’t worry, Ah’m sure she’ll make more. You kin have one later.”
Apple Bloom nodded, slowly. “...Say, AJ?”
“Yes, Sugarcube?”
“Are we gonna get anymore customers t’day?”
“Prolly not, Sugarcube.”
“Ah thought so.”
Applejack and Apple Bloom were walking home from a very unsuccessful day at the market. Applejack hauled a still-mostly-full cart of apples behind her.
Apple Bloom poked her sister. “Hey AJ?”
Applejack sighed. “Yes, Bloom?”
“You kin fly, right?”
Applejack glanced backwards at her wings, flaring them slightly. “That’s right. Why d’ya ask?”
Apple Bloom let out a small smile. “Can you fly me? Like, really high?”
Applejack chuckled, shaking her head and looking down at her sister. “Y’want t’get really high, do ya?”
The filly nodded eagerly. “Yes please! High as a kite!”
“Ah reckon Ah kin manage that.” The new gryphon unhitched herself from the cart, stretching her wings in the pattern the two celestial guards had shown her. “Hasn’t Rainbow ever gotten you high before, Bloom?”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “No, an Ah’m not really sure I’d trust her with gettin that high... seems like she’d do something reckless.”
“What makes y’say that?”
Apple Bloom pawed at the ground. “Well... sometimes, when she’s come back from doin somethin really fast, or really loopy, her eyes kinda... fade.” Bloom shrugged. “Ah’m not sure if Ah kin trust her when she’s faded like that.”
Applejack nodded. “That sounds reasonable. If you knew Rainbow the way Ah do, you’d know she gets faded like that all th’time. But she can do pretty well, even when she’s faded AND high.” She lowered a wing to the ground. “Hop on my back, an don’t let go.”
Apple Bloom scrambled onto her sister’s feathery back, wrapping her hooves around Applejack’s neck and holding tightly. “Okay, Ah’m ready. Let’s get high.”
Without another moment wasted, Applejack leapt into the sky, unsteadily rising up into the air until the trees were an endless sea of green below.
Apple Bloom laughed aloud as she looked around, watching the buildings of Ponyville below her, like tiny specks. “Ahaha! We’re really high!”
Applejack grinned, and called back to her sister. “You wanna get even higher?”
“Yes!”
Applejack pumped her wings harder, taking Apple Bloom even higher into the clouds.
Oh, wait, clouds.
Applejack slammed into the bottom of the cloud, her ascent suddenly interrupted by the fluffy interloper.
Apple Bloom lost her grip. “H-help! AJ! Ah’m fallin!” She tumbled off of her sister’s back and began to fall to the earth.
“Apple Bloom!” Applejack pounced off of the cloud and zoomed downwards, diving in hope of catching up with her sister.
Apple Bloom tumbled through the air. “AJ! AJ! Help me! Ah’m... Ah’m...” She screamed in fright. “Ah’m comin down!”
“Hold on Apple Bloom! Ah gotcha!” Applejack reached out with her claws, and just barely managed to grab Bloom’s hoof. She hauled the filly onto her back, where she clutched at the gryphon’s neck tightly.
She sobbed gently into Applejack’s feathery neck. “Ah don’t think Ah like gettin high, Aj.”
“Ah don’t know about gettin high,” AJ responded, “but the comin down sure can be a doozy.” She glanced at the horizon, where the sun was already dipping beneath the trees. “Just’s well, Ah suppose. We’re almost late fer dinner.”
Apple Bloom’s stomach grumbled. “...Ah do suppose Ah have a bit of the munchies.”
Applejack chuckled, and slowly returned to the ground.
“So, Big Mac, what’s for dinner?”
Big Mac, hollered back from the kitchen. “Soup!”
Applejack was sitting at the dinner table, along with Granny Smith and Apple Bloom. Macintosh had prepared dinner while his sisters had manned (ponied?) the marketplace.
Big Mac came into the kitchen with a large pot and four bowls balanced on his hoof. He easily distributed the bowls to the table, then steadily ladled out a serving of hot, steaming soup into each one.
Applejack smelled the soup, and almost drooled. Golly, Mac sure can whip up a good soup. A bit surprising, considering a cutie mark in agricultural biology.
“Dig in!” Macintosh announced, and eagerly took a spoonful himself. Applejack gripped the spoon in her talons dang how did Ah do this before? and brought a spoonful of broth to her beak.
Her beak clicked against the metal spoon as it gripped the utensil firmly. However, most sides of the spoon were still exposed to the open air. Applejack was unsure how to proceed.
She removed the spoon from her mouth and glared at it. She glanced downwards at her beak. “Hmm.”
Applejack gently replaced the spoon within her beak, and tilted her head backwards.
A small amount of the soup in the spoon got into her throat, but most of it trickled out of the sides of her mouth and onto her neck. She hastily put her head over the food, dabbing at herself with a napkin. “Dangnabbit!”
Granny Smith cocked an eyebrow at her granddaughter. Macintosh stifled back a laugh.
Apple Bloom didn’t get it and was mostly trying to balance her spoon on her nose.
Applejack glared across the table at her brother. “Shut it, Macintosh. Ah kin figure this out.”
Macintosh smiled again, but did not argue.
Applejack held the spoon close to her eye. She lifted another portion of soup out of the bowl, and brought it up to her beak. Hesitantly, she opened wide, and brought the spoon down her beak and close to the back of her throat.
Gently, she tilted the spoon backwards. The soup began to trickle down her throat, giving the gryphoness a sense of relief.
Then the spoon touched her throat and she gagged, coughing up the soup and sending the spoon flying onto the table. She coughed for a minute more before recomposing herself.
Big Mac, who was trying very very hard not to laugh, bit his hoof to keep his laughter at bay. “S-say, AJ, d’ya n-need a straw?! Pfft-!”
Applejack glared at her brother, fuming. He returned her gaze with mirthful eyes.
“Yes a straw would be nice thank you.”
Macintosh couldn’t hold it in any longer. He burst into an uproarious laughter, eyes watering and banging his hoof on the table, as he sank into his seat.
Apple Bloom began laughing along with her brother, just for the sake of laughing. Even Granny Smith bit back a chuckle.
Applejack scowled. “Ah’m goin t’bed.”
This just caused Macintosh to laugh harder. He was rolling on the floor as Applejack stormed up the stairs. Good fer nuthin brother, she thought. Ah bet he made soup on purpose, just so he could have a laugh at me.
She approached her room and saw her bed. She flopped down onto it gratefully, rolling over.
As she rolled over, she felt an uncomfortable pressure on her back. What in- oh, right. Applejack rolled back onto her stomach, freeing her wings from the mattress. How in tarnation does Dash do it? Ah suppose clouds must be more comfy.
After much rolling about, finding various problems sleeping with her wings, beak, talons, and tail in odd positions, Applejack finally determined the best position to sleep in. Curled up, on her side. She rested her head on the pillow, and closed her eyes, weariness overcoming her foreign limbs.
Finally, gettin some sleep...
“AJ?”
Apple Bloom pushed open the door to her sister’s room. There she spied an orange gryphon, still wearing her hat, curled up and asleep.
Apple Bloom began whispering. “Oh! Sorry AJ!” She took a tentative step towards the bed. “Oh, shoot, AJ, you left yer hat on.”
Apple Bloom knew how much her sister loved her hat. And while she often slept with it on, she was quite adamant against it being bent into odd positions. The young filly saw the stetson under Applejack’s head, squished against the pillow.
She got silently closer to the bed. Reaching over her sister’s sleeping form, she grabbed the hat with her hoof, and slowly, ever so slowly, began to pull it out.
“...There we go, AJ. Just a bit more...”
Apple Bloom froze as Applejack turned her head about in her sleep. She cast a frightened eye upon the sleeping face, but the cowgryphon remained asleep.
Apple Bloom let out a sigh of relief.
Suddenly, Applejack reached out and grabbed Apple Bloom with her arms. Unconsciously, the gryphon squeezed the filly tight to her chest, giving into some primal mothering instinct.
Apple Bloom let out an undignified “yalp!” as she was pulled in, her face pressed against the copious downy feathers of AJ’s chest. She spat out a few fibers that got in her mouth.
The filly gently tried to pry herself away. Applejack squeezed tighter.
“...shoot.”
“Macintosh!” Apple Bloom whispered, as loud as she could dare to whisper, to her brother as he passed the room.
Macintosh stuck his head into Applejack’s bedroom. His face broke into a wide smile. “Aww, how sweet.”
“No! Not sweet!” Apple Bloom sputtered. “She just grabbed me! While she was asleep! Ah can’t get out!”
Big Mac chuckled. “Well, Ah will admit, s’pretty early for you t’go to sleep, but if yer stuck, Ah don’t suppose you could stand fer an early bedtime?”
“No way!” Bloom responded. “S’only like, seven! Ah slept in this mornin!”
“Ah can’t say Ah see any other way outta this, Bloom.”
“Can’t ya just wake her up?”
Mac shook his head. “She likes to hit me when Ah wake’r up. And with those knives on her arms, Ah don’t think that’s an amazing idea.”
“But-!”
“G’night.”
He slammed the door shut. Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Ugh.”
Grudgingly, Bloom tried to make herself comfortable. She closed her eyes. Man, it’s not like Ah-
Gryphon feathers are surprisingly comfortable. She was asleep before she finished her thought.
Spike whistled. “Dang. Man, I can’t wait to see that.”
Applejack let out a harsh laugh. “Hopefully neither of us have to wait too long, sugarcube. Ah’ll se ya later.”
Applejack and Pinkie bid their farewells, and parted ways.
Pinkie bounced down the street, her new wings making her able to bounce much higher than before. “Hee hee hee! This is so much fun!” She began to make her way towards Sugarcube Corner.
The average pony is not racist. I know, hard to believe. But despite old, long-standing racial tensions, between the tribes of ponykind and the various species that populated Equestria, it was general practice to be friendly, at least at first, to anyone you met.
Granted, there was that whole seven-year-war with the Gryphon Nation, (not yet the Republic, recall) so that put a bit of a negative light on that species, in particular. Still, ponies did their best.
So when Pinkie gleefully bounced down the streets of Ponyville, she was the subject of a few odd glances and stares, and many a whispered word. However, nothing more than that. She proceeded towards her home and place of work without interruption.
The bell above the door to the Ponyville bakery jingled, and Pinkie Pie bounced through it. Pinkie was mainly focused on baking at the moment, because she was a little late for work and was super-duper excited to make some cupcakes because she hadn’t gotten the chance to make cupcakes today (except for her standard two-dozen morning cupcakes that she bakes for practice) (and then another dozen she made for breakfast) and had some really cool ideas on the train about how to decorate them and stage them for parties and-
Needless to say, the pressing matter of ‘telling your employer that you changed species’ slipped her mind, and Pinkie joyfully bounced behind the counter, and back into the kitchen of the Cakes’ fine establishment.
Mr. Alexander Nigel “Carrot” Cake, with his tall, lanky stature, sat behind the counter, waiting on customers and reading the paper. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a pink shape, bouncing into the bakery, and head directly towards the back.
Without moving his head, he said hello. “Oh hey Pinkie. How was Canterlot?”
Pinkie stuck her head out of the kitchen door to respond. “Ooh, it was great Mr. Cake! We spent a lot of time waiting on gryphons, then waiting as gryphons, so that’s why I’m so late, sorry. But I had lots of good ideas for cupcakes on the train! If I get em done fast, we can sell some to the evening crowd!”
She disappeared back into the kitchen. Carrot Cake nodded, his eyes still glued to the newspaper.
Then his thoughts caught up with him. Wait did she say ‘as’ gryphons?
He looked up from his paper, and stared forward for a moment.
“...Nah.” He went back to reading.
Inside the bakery, Pinkie hummed to herself, putting together the ingredients she needed to make a really nice batch of cupcakes.
Eggs, flour, water, all into a bowl. Wow, these hands are really nifty! It’s like I can actually grab things instead of unrealistically balancing them on my hooves!
Sugar, lemon zest, green dye. Pinkie mixed the ingredients together, marveling at how fast she could now whisk, and steadily began pouring them into cupcake pans. I wonder if they’ll taste any different because I’m a gryphon now? Or will they taste the same? OOH, I wonder if there are any gryphony foods I can try?!
With practiced ease, she slid the pans into the oven, and shut the oven door, setting a timer for the appropriate amount of minutes. Maybe I can ask Papa? Oh no Papa’s get really mad if he saw me like this he always got really upset when gryphons came up at dinner.
Pinkie drummed her talons on the counter. There was a batch of colored frosting already made, in the fridge, so she didn’t have anything to do for the half-hour or so that it took to cook her treats.
Pinkie smiled. I know! I’ll say hi to Pumpkin and Pound! They usually get up from their naps around now and they’ll be really happy to see me.
Pinkie bounded up the stairs, giggling once again. In once quick movement, she was at the door the the twins’ room, peering inside quietly.
A children’s room greeted her. Blue carpet, strewn with many toys and packages of diapers and things. Walls papered with a whimsical repeating design of animals performing pony tasks, such as a rhino brushing its tusk or a lion braiding its hair.
Cup Cake was asleep on the large armchair, her face planted into a picture book. The twins were on their backs in the crib, rolling about, flailing their little legs as though they had just awoken.
Which, Pinkie assumed, they had. Careful not to wake the sleeping Mrs. Cake, she leapt towards the crib, and looked inside, grinning like a cheshire cat-bird. “Heeeey little guys! It’s your Aunt Pinkie!”
The twins looked upwards. There, they beheld the Great Pink One of Yore, Giver of Smiles and Things To Chew On. Seeing her, they smiled, giggled, and raised their tiny arms. They noticed that the Great Pink One looked a tiny bit different, and maybe sounded a teensy bit different, but there was no disguising that bubbly energy in her voice.
Pinkie swept the two babies up in her arms, being careful not to get them anywhere near her sharp talons. They gurgled and laughed, and otherwise did normal baby-like things.
Pinkie smiled. “Oooh, look at you cuties. You recognize Aunt Pinkie, yes you do!” She bounced them a bit. “Did you guys have a nice nap? Hmm? Does somepony need a diaper change? Huh?”
Pinkie sniffed them. “No? Wow, you guys are the best! Cutest little babies ever!” Pinkie declared, swinging them around. “Though I have the weirdest urge to preen you both. Hmm.”
While Pinkie was coddling the two youngsters, Mrs. Cake decided that right then would be the perfect time to wake up. The blue mare’s eyelids flittered open, and she yawned, stretching her limbs wide. “Ooh, what a nice nap. It’s always a relief to catch some sleeping time with these two-“
She fell short as she saw her two children.
In the claws of a gryphon, who was smiling like a maniac.
Remember when I said most ponies aren’t racist? Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Most of them are a tad racist. Well, a lot racist. But they try not to act on their racist tendencies, and, in fact, do their very best to prove that they aren’t racist, because that will get you fired.
As such, a little bit of Cup Cake’s mind was a bit scared of gryphons. Not a lot, mind you, (she did throw a party for one in her own bakery) but enough to make her heart quicken a teensy bit when she saw one.
Then, she saw one holding her children.
Granted, if she only took a second she could probably figure out that this gryphon was her employee, given the coloration and gleeful smile, but her children were at stake, Celestia dammit! She wasn’t in her right mind!
She was also a little bit racist. Teensy weensy bit.
“Let go of my children!” she bellowed, quickly rising to her hooves.
Pinkie turned to see Mrs. Cake awake, and smiled even wider. “Oh, hiya Mrs. Cake! I saw you were asleep, so I thought I’d take care of the-“
“Put them down, gryphon!” she spat.
Pinkie’s face fell for a moment, before remembering. “Oh, right! Silly me! I forgot to tell you! When I was up in Canterlot, there was this-“
“Put them down!”
Pinkie flinched backwards at the sudden ferocity of her employer. Silently, she deposited the two babies back into their crib. The children cried out and reached up for Pinkie again, but she did not comply, her eyes still fixed on Mrs. Cake. “...Mrs. Cake?”
Mrs. Cake was trembling. “Now get out of my house, you monster! Why were you touching my children!?”
The elder mare blinked. “...Pinkie? Why would you claim-“
Then, suddenly, Cup Cake had a revelation. The gryphoness in front of her was PINK, with CURLY HAIR FEATHERS, and was very SMILEY and was currently BEGINNING TO CRYoh dear Pinkie’s crying.
Mrs. Cake’s face softened as regret washed over her. She beheld Pinkie, who, (despite being a gryphon) was sitting on the ground, tail wrapped around her paws, looking up at her with drooped ears, watery eyes and a trembling beak. “Oh, Pinkie! That is you!”
Pinkie sniffled, and hung her head down, looking at the floor. Mrs. Cake’s heart broke into a thousand tiny little pieces. She immediately went down on the ground beside the hurt gryphon, wrapping her hooves around her. “Pinkie, I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that.”
Pinkie leaned in on Mrs. Cake’s hug. “Th-thanks, Mrs. Cake. I’m sorry, I-“
“Oh no no dear, you have nothing to apologize for!” Mrs. Cake assured. “I’m the one who overreacted. I was just surprised, that’s all.” She chuckled. “You look quite a bit different, my dear.”
Pinkie managed a weak smile. “Hehe, yeah. There was some sort of magical swirly accident thing up in Canterlot. We uhh...” she trailed off.
Mrs. Cake frowned. “What’s the matter sweetie?”
Pinkie sniffled, wiping her beak with one claw. “Are you like my papa? He always gets mad when ponies mention gryphons or the w-war and maybe-“
“No.” Mrs. Cake affirmed. “Pinkie, listen to me. You are still you, and nothing is going to change that, okay? No matter what you look like, you are you.” She pressed a hoof on Pinkie’s feathered chest. “Nothing matters but that. Understand?”
Pinkie nodded. Mrs. Cake smiled. “Good. Now, come on. You have baking to do and I have mothering to do.”
Mrs. Cake remained upstairs, while Pinkie Pie happily returned to her baking, downstairs. The lemon-lime cupcakes were turning out fantastically, and she set them out to cool on the kitchen counter, before frosting them.
Mr. Cake walked in through the kitchen door, newspaper tucked under his arm. “Heya, Pinkie, are those lemon-lime? They look deliiii...”
He trailed off, staring at Pinkie. The pink gryphon noticed and, not wanting a repeat of upstairs, looked Mr. Cake in the eye. “Mr. Cake. It’s me, Pinkie.”
“...Pinkie.”
“Yup!” She beamed, and returned to cleaning up. Mr. Cake nodded, silently, before continuing. “Well, okay. We open for afternoon in an hour. Can you man† the counter?”
Pinkie nodded. “Yupperooni!”
“Good, I’m going to fill out an order for a wedding cake back here. Call me if you need me.”
Pinkie smiled and began to decorate her cupcakes. She was very pleased to find how remarkably easy it was, to squeeze the paper cone with the frosting over the cakes, using her talons. She gave them a very decorative, white-and-green design, and arranged them artfully on a plate.
Pinkie, do you know what the best number is? Pinkie thought, eyeing the cupcakes happily.
No, Pinkie, I don’t. What is it?
Baker’s Dozen! Pinkie Pie grabbed the thirteenth cupcake and popped it into her beak, chewing happily. The cupcake was warm and moist, the limey cake mixing delightfully with the sugary frosting. She munched on the treat for a moment, discerning the flavor. Hmm, a bit too sweet for the lemon, but that’s okay! I’ll just do better next time.
Pinkie arranged the cupcakes onto a platter, and slid them into the display case. She then set about the busy, satisfying work of cleaning up the bakery for the afternoon hours.
You see, in a bakery, there are many odd hours in the day. Generally, they open very early in the morning, to sell morning pastries, coffee, and the like. The bakers themselves have to get up even earlier, just to get all these treats ready, so they’re hot and fresh for the morning crowd.
These treats generally last until a few hours before lunch, give or take. When the last of the morning crowd finally clears out, the bakers begin to work on the next batch of treats, for later in the evening. They don’t make as many, as there isn’t as high a demand as there was in the morning, but they continue to make a small amount of treats, to satisfy the slow but steady flow of customers.
In the intervening hours, many bakeries stay open, serve coffee, maybe some stale doughnuts. The Cakes, however, have two small children to contend with, and instead close their doors for a small amount of time, to deal with work and raise a family.
Pinkie was preparing for the second shift of the day. Mr. Cake had already cleaned the tables, just after closing, so Pinkie went around and refilled napkin holders, pushed in chairs, and swept the floor. It wasn’t a hard job, but it made her excited to open Sugarcube Corner for business.
As she was sweeping, a pony walked in the door, the bell above the shop door jingling. “Hey, Pinkie, here to drop off those orders.”
Pinkie looked up to see Bonbon, occupied with carrying a large brown paper bag, bulging with candies. Pinkie smiled, bouncing over to her. “Oh, neat! I’m going to use those cherry caramel thingies on a cake order we got. Angel-food cake and caramel-butterscotch drizzle. What’dya think?”
Bonbon spat out the bag on the table, breathing a sigh of relief. “That sounds delicious, actually. Maybe I can work off the pounds I’ll get from it if you order more-“
It’s a bit of a routine, you see, when someone discovers that the pony they’re talking to is no longer a pony at all. They glance at the pony in question, cut off in the middle of their sentence, then have some sort of amusing reaction.
“...you’re a gryphon.”
Pinkie blinked. “...Yes?”
“Huh.” Bonbon sat down on the ground. “How did that happen?”
Pinkie waved a claw. “Some sorta magical thingy when we were up in Canterlot for the survey.”
“Survey?” Bonbon asked. “Like that one Applejack does every year?”
“Yeah!” Pinkie grinned.
Bonbon whistled. “Freaky.” She shook her head. “Man, that must be weird. How does everything taste?”
Pinkie frowned. “Taste? What do you mean?”
Laughing, Bonbon began to remove the individual packages of candy from the brown bag, working as she spoke. “Well, gryphons can eat different things. Things should also taste different, right?”
Pinkie shook her head. “Well, I haven’t noticed any-“
Suddenly, the pink gryphon’s eyes shot wide open. “Wait, gryphons can eat different things?!”
Bonbon nodded. “Yeah, didn’t you know? Gryphons are omnivores.”
Pinkie’s jaw dropped. A million ideas raced through her mind at once, while Bonbon continued talking.
“Though I can’t imagine why anypony–excuse me, anyperson–would want to kill another creature just to eat it. And it’s interesting, actually, all evidence says gryphons should be carnivores, but their stomachs have-“
She was interrupted as Pinkie grabbed her by the arm and began to pull her across Ponyville. “Uh, Pinkie? Where are we going?”
Pinkie laughed. “Fluttershy’s, dummy!”
“...Why?”
“There’s a whole new world of flavors that has just opened up to me.” Pinkie smiled wickedly. “I have to try everything.”
Fluttershy’s cottage was literally the most idyllic place in the world.
A humble shack, but clean, with a sod-grass roof, and charming wooden structures. It had a tiny bridge over a creek, and several willow trees around it, which supported various nests and burrows for all sorts of cute and friendly creatures.
Songbirds of various colors often roosted there, to sing their whistling tune. Sunlight filtered through dust in the trees, and visitors often found themselves admiring nature where they would not have thought to look before.
In fact, Fluttershy’s cottage was SO idyllic, that it came under investigation by the Equestrian government. EBI officials suspected some sort of magic at work, or perhaps a foreign influence, or even a foreign spy, casting a spell of non-suspicion.
However, whenever agents were sent out to scope the cottage, they began to feel like they were talking too loudly, discovered some antique architecture on an overgrown veranda, graciously accepted some green tea from Fluttershy, and before they knew it they had been there for three hours, enjoyed many cups of tea and even a pastry, and walked out wishing they could get a painting of the place.
When said agents returned to Canterlot to give a report, they reported nothing of interest, aside from a small recommendation to start a window box garden with some mint, as it was easy to grow and will make your entire apartment smell nice.
Bonbon pursed her lips nervously, as she walked alongside Pinkie Pie to the front door of the picturesque home. “Pinkie, you can’t just barge in and ask for meat products. That would be a bit intrusive.”
Pinkie bopped her friend with a wing. “No, of course not! That’d be as out-of-place as a bunch of forced jokes about recreational drugs.”
My weed jokes are funny, none of you understand.
“And besides, once I explain it to her, I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to help.”
Bonbon shrugged. “Alright, alright. But how do you even know she had any meat to begin with?”
“I’ve seen her!” Pinkie gestured to the fields around the cottage. “She has all of her animal friends over, and she feeds them when they’re sick, and she has a bit of this slimy red stuff to feed them.”
“I guess that makes sense.” Bonbon sighed. “Just, try not to scare her.”
They arrived at the door. Pinkie raised a knuckle and rapped it on the wood, then stepped back and awaited a response.
A few moments later, the door slid open. “Oh, hello, who is-“
Fluttershy’s eyes connected with Pinkie’s and Fluttershy screamed and closed the door.
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Heya, Fluttershy, it’s me, Pinkie!”
“Go away!” Fluttershy shouted. (and by ‘shouted’ I mean ‘managed to say kind of loudly’) “You’re not Pinkie Pie! Pinkie’s a pony.”
“Nnnnope!” Pinkie giggled. “Not anymore! There was some sort of magical doohickey incident up at Canterlot, and now I’m a gryphon!”
Very slowly, Fluttershy peeked her nose out the door. “...Really?”
“Yeah!”
Fluttershy looked her friend in the eye, then quickly looked away again. “Prove it.”
Pinkie Pie hummed, drumming her claws on the pathway. “Well, I know you keep a picture of Iron Will in your-“
‘Okay!” I believe you!” Fluttershy practically shouted, jumping out of the door. (Practically shouted.)
Bonbon raised an eyebrow, a small smirk playing across her face. “Where do you keep that picture?”
Fluttershy blushed. “Nowhere! I don’t have a picture!”
“Rrrright. And I don’t make candy.”
Fluttershy shuffled her hooves. “Oh, excuse me, where are my manners? Please come inside.”
She escorted Pinkie Pie and Bonbon into her cottage, where they sat down in a pair of large, comfortable armchairs. Fluttershy disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a tray of green tea, which she set on the coffee table before them. “So, erm, Pinkie...”
Pinkie bounced in her seat. “Yes?”
Fluttershy bit her lip. While she wasn’t racist, (I know! Big surprise.) the only other time she had met a gryphon, it hadn’t gone down well. There had been tears. As such, she was a bit nervous around Pinkie Pie’s new form. “...You seem to be handling this well?”
“Oh yeah!” Pinkie nodded. “Everypony seems to be fine with it! I mean, they’re all surprised at first, but then they realize it’s me and it’s fine!” Her seemingly eternal smile faltered a bit. “...Except for Mrs. Cake, she got a bit angry when she saw me with the twins. B-but it’s fine now!”
Fluttershy cast an inquisitive glance at Bonbon, who merely shrugged. “Well, that’s nice. But don’t Sugarcube Corner’s afternoon hours start soon? What are you doing here?”
“Aha!” Pinkie declared. “Well, I was getting ready, when Bonbon walked in and told me that gryphons are omnibus!”
“Omnivorous,” Bonbon corrected. “Yes, you see, Pinkie Pie is under the impression that you can acquire some meat for her.”
Pinkie nodded. “Yupperooni! I’ve never had it before because I don’t think I could digest it but now I can and I’m eager to try!”
“...Oh.” Fluttershy quietly took a sip of tea. “Well, um, I don’t think I have any for you, Pinkie. I’m sorry.”
“Aww.” Pinkie pouted. “Why not? You had some to give to that bear.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No, that was Mr. Bear’s own supply of meat, that he collected himself. I got some of it when he was sick, but that was part of his own store.”
Pinkie scratched her chin for a moment. “Hmm... Alright, where do I get meat?”
Fluttershy sipped her tea quietly. “Well, I don’t think there are any markets in Ponyville that sell that sort of-“
“No no,” Pinkie rebuffed, waving a wing. “I mean I’ll just get my own! Naturally!”
Bonbon and Fluttershy exchanged a panicked look. “Umm, Pinkie,” Bonbon inquired, “I’m not sure-“
“Where does it come from, anyway? Meat trees?”
The two ponies let out a sigh of relief. “No, Pinkie,” Fluttershy informed her. “Meat comes from animals. Didn’t you learn that in school?”
“Really?” Pinkie asked, scrunching up her face. “Do they leave it on the ground? Should I check Gummy’s litterbox for it?”
Bonbon slammed a hoof to her face. “No, Pinkie, meat is animals. The muscles of any animal are meat.”
“Ooooooh.” Pinkie nodded, slowly, looking off into the distance. “...wait, really?”
“Yes.”
“...But that means I’d be eating dead animals?”
Bonbon nodded fervently. “Yes! Yes, Pinkie. Meat is dead animals.”
Now, Bonbon was hoping, wishing, with all her might, that Pinkie would realize what a disgusting thing it is, to be eating the flesh of brutally murdered, innocent creatures. That Pinkie would forever give up the idea of eating meat, (which she very much regretted accidentally giving to her) and go back to making pastries.
Dear readers, I am not a vegan.
“Sounds good! Say, Fluttershy, any of your friends die recently?”
Bonbon’s eyes widened, and she gripped the arms of her chair with her hooves. Fluttershy glanced around nervously. “Umm, I’m not sure.”
“Aww, come on!” Pinkie smiled, leaning in close to the pegasus. “Pretty please? I’m sure you have lots of dead animals, just sitting around, waiting to be eaten!”
“Uhh...”
“It’d be better than just burying them, maybe?”
Glancing around nervously, Fluttershy made a decision. She had grown accustomed, long ago, to the idea of carnivores, and the fact that many of her adorable animal friends ate her other adorable animal friends. However, she would only tolerate the loss of life in such a way when it was necessary.
In a fit of self-confidence inspired by a large, rugged, and particularly dashing minotaur, Fluttershy put her hoof down. “I’m sorry, Pinkie, but no.”
“No?!” Pinkie responded.
“No. I’ll feed meat to my animal friends, but I only do that when it’s necessary, and I won’t do such a thing when you can be perfectly healthy eating fruit and vegetables.”
“Aww!” Pinkie whined. “Pleeeaaase?”
“No.”
“Pretty Please.”
“No!”
Pinkie got on her knees and clasped her hands together, looking up at Fluttershy with pleading eyes. “Pleeeeaaaa-“
“No!” Fluttershy daintily threw a dainty hoof onto the coffee table in a dainty fit of anger. “No is no, Pinkie. I’m sorry, but I feel very strongly about this.”
“Ugh, fine.” Pinkie crossed her arms, faking anger. “I guess I won’t eat meat.”
Fluttershy’s angry face dropped, and she reached over and gave her friend a hug. “Oh, I’m sorry Pinkie.”
Pinkie smiled, throwing her new, clawed arms around the pegasus. “I’m not really mad at you, silly! I understand.”
They broke off, and Pinkie smiled again. “Welp, we’d better be going. Need to start for afternoon hours, and all that. Come on, Bonnie.”
“Well actually,” Bonbon replied, “I was hoping I could finish my-“
She was interrupted as Pinkie once again grabbed her and dragged her out the door. “Thanks, Fluttershy! Seeya later!”
“Bye Pinkie! Bye Bonbon!” Fluttershy waved at them out the door, as the gryphon and pony disappeared over the hill.
Bonbon, (once again moving under her own power) shook her head. “Well, I’m glad this whole ‘meat’ thing is over with. I know you were excited, but-“
“What?” Pinkie said, shaking her head and smiling. “This meat thing isn’t over with, silly filly.”
“W-what do you mean?” Bonbon shivered, nervously eyeing the pink gryphon.
“What do you think I mean?” Pinkie slid in close to Bonbon, rubbing up alongside her. “We’re gonna find something dead, even if it kills us.” She looked Bonbon directly in the eye, a manic grin overcoming the fierce, pink face, the focused yellow eyes piercing their way into Bonbon’s soul.
“I want to taste flesh.”
Bonbon began screaming. She screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and ran away, screaming and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and I’m typing each of these out individually y’all better be grateful and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and-
Pinkie looked on in disbelief as Bonbon ran into the distance, screaming. “Huh. I guess she had some important candy-making business to get to.”
The pink gryphon looked forward with resolve. “Alright, let’s see. I bet I can do this, right? I just have to find somepony with a dead pet or something. This should be easy!”
Knock knock
Pinkie smiled, as the door to the small house opened. “Heya, Sunflower!”
Sunflower, a brown earth pony, peered carefully at the gryphon before her. “...Pinkie?”
“Yup!” Pinkie smiled. “Sorry to bother you, but do you have any pets that happened to have died recently?”
Sunflower blinked. “Nnno... Why do you ask?”
“Well,” Pinkie scratched the back of neck innocently. “I want to eat them?”
SLAM
Pinkie blinked at the closed door. “Well, that wasn’t very nice.”
“I want to eat them.”
The young filly started crying, clutching her house cat tightly. Her mother cast a furious look at Pinkie, before once again slamming the door shut.
SLAM
Pinkie scratched her chin. “Hmm, maybe I’m going about this wrong.”
“But I must ask, what would you want a dead pet for?” The stallion asked, casting a suspicious eye on the pink gryphon.
“Well,” Pinkie began, “As you know, I wasn’t a gryphon this morning. Now, a pair of very influential ponies is working on a way to revers this–well, not so much ponies, anymore, but you get my idea–and so, I was thinking about my dilemma here–not so much a dilemma, as an interesting circumstance–“
“Just get to the point,” the stallion said, irritably.
“Anyway, as a practitioner of the culinary arts, I was hoping to maybe prepare and sample a portion of-“
SLAM
Pinkie groaned. “Man! Why is this so hard? I just want to take somepony’s dead pet and eat it.”
“Hello, Sir, my name is Pi-“
“Damn beakies! Get out of my town!”
SLAM
“Well, that wasn’t very nice.”
“Oh, I get it, you want to expand your pallet!”
Pinkie nodded excitedly. “Yes!”
The mare nodded. “I totally understand. In your position, I would have done the same thing!”
“Yes! Yes! Thank you, you’re the first person in town to not slam the door in my face!”
“Oh, don’t mention it.” The mare frowned. “Though, I don’t have any recently deceased pets for you, sorry.”
Pinkie frowned. “Oh. Ah well, thanks anyway.”
The mare smiled. “Not a problem! Nice to see you again, Pinkie!”
SLAM
Pinkie blinked. “...Um, alrighty then.”
Pinkie sullenly cantered through the center of town square, her head hung low, her wingtips low, dragging across the dirt. All around her, ponies happily bustled around in their business, waiting and ready to open the afternoon market.
Pinkie huffed. “Nopony has any dead pets for me. Either that, or they’re just meanies.” She sighed. “Meat can’t be this uncommon! It’s absolutely ridiculous!”
Pinkie Pie threw her head up in the air. “What does it take to FIND SOME CORPSES AROUND HERE!?!”
All around her, ponies froze, and their heads all simultaneously swiveled towards the pink gryphon.
Pinkie saw them all, and smiled. “Oh, hey! Can you give me your corpses?”
Beat.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!”
Ponies began screaming their heads off, running around in all directions. Pinkie frowned, watching them go. “Hello? Was it something I said? Where are you all going?”
Now, this seems like an amusing situation. Poor Pinkie Pie, unintentionally scaring the wits out of dozens of ponies (and probably giving weight to the gryphonic paranoia that would plague a certain apple farmer a few minutes later) and being completely clueless about it.
However, consider Pinkie Pie. Pinkie is a party pony, and it is her greatest delight to know and make happy every singly pony (or gryphon) (I’m not racist I swear) she happens to meet. She truly loves to make her friends smile.
And here she is, now, alone in a courtyard, after dozens of ponies she loved to make smile ran away from her, screaming in fear. And Pinkie Pie, the innocent dear that she is, has no idea why.
Poor, poor Pinkie Pie. “Wh-where did everypony go?”
Lower beak-half-thingy trembling, Pinkie once again hung her head, and headed for Sugarcube Corner.
The walk was slow and sullen, with Pinkie dragging her paws, wigtips, and tail on the ground, leaving five parallel lines in the dirt. When she finally arrived at Sugarcube Corner, she pushed the door open without looking up, and continued sullenly through the bakery.
Mrs. Cake, who was arranging pastries in the window, noticed her come in. “Oh, Pinkie. There you are? Are you okay?”
Pinkie looked up, and Mrs. Cake saw that the pink gryphon was close to tears. “Ooh, Pinkie. Were people scared of you today?”
Silently, Pinkie nodded. Mrs. Cake shook her head. “Oh, dearie, I’m sorry. Want to tell me about it?”
Pinkie sighed. “No, Mrs. Cake, it’s okay. We open in a few minutes. I-I should get to work.”
At that moment, Mr. Cake came in from the back. “Honeybun, we’ve got- Oh, hey Pinkie. You alright? I heard about what happened.”
Mrs. Cake frowned. “What happened?”
“She went around, looking to try some meat. Only, it didn’t, ah, occur so well.”
“Meat? Whatever would make you want to try meat?”
Pinkie shrugged. “Well, Bonnie came in, to drop off some candies, and she told me how gryphons are anonymous-“
“Omnivorous.”
“-so I thought I could try it. You know, expand my pallet. B-but I guess it didn’t work.”
The Cakes nodded, sympathetically. “Oh, dearie, I’m sorry.”
Pinkie sniffled, smiling softly. “S’fine. I should get ready to open, though, so I should really-“
“Y’know, I have some meat downstairs, if you want to try it,” Mr. Cake offered.
Pinkie’s ears perked up. Mrs. Cake looked at her husband like he was crazy. “What?”
“Yeah.” Mr. Cake shrugged. “I had a gryphon buddy when I was enlisted. He used to stop over pretty frequently, so I kept some meat on hand, in case he ever stopped by.” He grinned. “Got pretty good at cooking it, too, if you’d like me to show you.”
Pinkie smiled wide. “Oh, yes please! Yes! Thankyou thankyou thankyou!” She jumped forward and squeezed Mr. Cake tightly. “Thankyou!!!”
Mrs. Cake shook her head. “Alright, Pinkie. Why don’t you take today off, I’ll man the counters.”
“Really?” Pinkie asked.
“Sure! I just dropped the twins off at daycare, so I’m free.”
“Eeee! Thankyoutoo!” Pinkie switched her death-grip hug from Mr. Cake to Mrs. Cake. Mr. Cake fell to the ground, grasping at his chest and trying to breathe.
Mrs. Cake endured the hug for a few seconds, before patting Pinkie on the back. “Let go of me now, dear.”
Pinkie dropped her employer, and Mr. Cake hobbled to his feet. “Alrighty then, Pinkie, let’s go make you a burger.”
The Basement of Sugarcube Corner.
That sounds like the title of a Cupcakes ripoff, doesn’t it? Maybe. I’ve never actually read Cupcakes.
Regardless, the basement was nothing particularly special. Aside from the fact that it was for a bakery. A low-ceilinged, concrete room, with lots of wooden shelving, and a few bare lightbulbs, dangling overhead. The shelves were filled with things like spare bags of flour, cupcake papers, frosting nozzles, and all of the things that a bakery would need more of.
Pinkie followed Mr. Cake, as he went to the backmost shelf, and pulled out a large, metal box. He took it and put it on the small folding table, that was positioned in the center of the room. “Alright, Pinkie, do you know what this is?”
Pinkie shrugged her wings. “A box?”
“...Well, yes. However-“ He drummed a hoof on the top. “This is no ordinary box. This box... is magic.”
“Okay.” Pinkie said.
Mr. Cake blinked. “...Mmmmmmaaagic!”
“Yeah.” Pinkie nodded. “Magic box, got it.”
“Isn’t that cooooool?”
Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “Mr. Cake, there are magic boxes all over. And a whole bunch of magic other things. It’s not exactly uncommon.”
Mr. Cake huffed. “When I bought this, enchanted items were really expensive! They had to be imported from Canterlot!”
Pinkie giggled. “Okay, Mr. Cake. Whatever you say.”
“Anyway,” he continued, “this box is magic. It’s a magic freeze-box.”
“So it’s cold?”
“No,” he replied, “it doesn’t freeze with ice. It freezes with time. When I put the lid on the box, time inside of it stops.”
“Ooooh!” Pinkie’s eyes widened. “Neato!”
Mr. Cake nodded, smiling. “Yep. I use it to store some very rare & perishable items. Including a few packages of grade-A beef.”
Pinkie paused. “That’s weird, I have a friend named Beef. He’s a cow. Tough Beef.”
Mr. Cake blinked. “...what a coincidence.”
There was a pregnant pause.
“Welp, let’s open this thing. Give me a hoof, would you?”
Pinkie grasped the lid of the metal box with her claws, and together they pulled on the lid, until it pried open.
As soon as the lid came off, a loud clang came out of the box. Pinkie shot Mr. Cake an inquisitive look. He waved a hoof. “That’s from when I put the lid on, last time. The sound was still in there.”
They peered inside. The smooth metal container held several wrapped packages of paper, a number of small glass vials, sealed with wax, and a tiny baby kitten.
The kitten looked up at the two, meowing softly, and tripping over its own paws.
“...Mr. Cake? Why do you have a cat in this box?”
“Oooh, that’s Mr. Whiskers!” Mr. Cake cooed, picking up the tiny kitten and petting it gleefully. “I got him one day, but Cup Cake wouldn’t let me have a cat in the apartment. So I put him in here.”
Pinkie blinked. “But, you don’t live in an apartment.”
“Oh, well, not now. This was a good fifteen years ago.” He nodded towards the box. “The meat is marked with an ‘M’. Go ahead and pull it all out.”
Pinkie retrieved each of the paper packages, placing them on the surface of the table. They felt soft, like they held dough inside, but the paper was cool in her hand.
Mr. Cake replaced Mr. Whiskers in the box, and closed the lid. The slid slammed onto the box without a sound.
They replaced the box on the shelf, and, Pinkie Pie with meat in hand, ascended the stairs, back into the kitchen. Once upstairs, they could hear Mrs. Cake handling customers at the storefront.
“Oh, that’s a relief,” Mr. Cake sighed. “I was worried ponies would try to avoid Sugarcube Corner because of your little incident-”
A mare stuck her head, warily, into the bakery door. She spied Mrs. Cake. “Psst! Mrs. Cake! Is Pinkie Pie here?”
Mrs. Cake pursed her lips. “Umm... No?”
The mare smiled, opening the door wide. “ALRIGHT GUYS, COAST IS CLEAR!” She walked into the bakery, with throngs of ponies coming in behind her.
“-now let’s get cooking.”
Mr. Cake pulled up a cutting board, a knife, several pieces of vegetable, two sandwich buns, noseplugs, and some mayonnaise.
Evidently, Mr. Cake had spent quite a bit of time cooking for his army buddy. Pinkie watched in awe as he expertly prepared the meat, cooked it until its sizzling aroma sizzled off of the griddle, through Pinkie’s nose and into her heart, and arranged it all into the most tantalizing sandwich Pinkie Pie had ever seen in her short, sugary life.
He called it a ‘burger’.
‘Dhig inh,” he said, his voice oddly muffled by the noseplugs. “Thorry, I can’th thtand the thmell.”
Pinkie took the sandwich in her claws. An odd mixture of hot meat juice and mayonnaise dripped onto the plate. Experimentally, she took a bite.
Dear reader. Dear, dear reader. Have you ever had a burger? I mean a good one. Not even gourmet, those are always too rich. I mean a burger. Meat, lettuce, onions, mayo, bread, tomato, the works. It’s incredible. And that was exactly what Pinkie Pie was tasting, as her very first experience with sizzled animal flesh.
(I once again remind my readers that I am not a vegan. Sorry, vegans.)
Pinkie was overloaded with the sensation. In three short bites, the burger didn’t exist anymore.
Mr. Cake whistled. “Good?”
“Amazing.” Pinkie licked her beak, smiling. “What else can you make with meat?”
“Come here, I’ll show you.”
Mr. Cake showed Pinkie Pie how to prepare meat and how to cook it and tenderize it and yadda yadda you all know how meat is supposed to be prepared. I’m sure you do it frequently yourself, dear readers.
(I once again apologize to my vegan readers. Today is just not your day.)
“So, that’s about it,” Mr. Cake replied. “Other than that, you can just get creative. From what I hear, it goes well with a lot of things-“
Pinkie put a hand over his mouth. He looked at her inquisitively.
“Shh,” she said, staring off into space with a vacant expression.
Mr. Cake made a curious noise.
“Shhhh.”
Pinkie continued to stare ahead blankly, before words began to gently escape her beak, in a sort of melody, a haunting tune of a once-familiar song, given a new, harrowing life.
“...cupcakes, so sweet and tasty, cupcakes...”
Suddenly she sprang to life, jumping into the air. “CUPCAKES! DON’T BE TOO HASTY! CUPCAKES CUPCAKES CUPCAKES!”
She shot Mr. Cake a brilliant smile. “I’m going to make meat cupcakes!”
Mr. Cake nodded. “Seems like the logical thing to do.” He frowned at the sudden airborne nature of his employee. “Say, try not to break too many things while you’re up there.”
CRASH
“Well, I tried. Have fun Pinkie, I’m going to go relieve my wife of counter duty.” He gave a small wave, and departed the kitchen towards the storefront.
“Haha!” Pinkie cried, not-so-gently landing back on the ground. “Alrighty then, let’s make us some meat cupcakes!”
“Those were the most disgusting cupcakes I ever had!” Pinkie cheerfully declared, dumping a small tray of brownish-colored blobs into the trash. “Let’s try that again.”
Pinkie chewed one of the new meat cupcakes thoughtfully. “Hmm...” She scratched her chin as she decided on the flavor. “The flavor’s questionable, but I think it would taste better if I could manage to chew it.” She spit it out, where the greyish pastry bounced against the floor, and back into the air, hopping around the bakery like a superball.
Pinkie coughed as she cleared her face of ash. Before her was a scorch mark, and a few twisted pieces of metal.
“Welp, it’s a good thing the Cakes have oven insurance.” She sighed. “I’m going to have to go a different route with this.”
Almost two hours later, Pinkie Pie, covered in grime and sweat, stared with satisfaction at the pastries she had made.
After the first few attempts, she had determined that putting the meat flavor into a pastry was a futile effort. So she had gone a different route. Instead of making a meat batter, she instead used the meat as a filling, after first stewing it in a sweet, tangy sauce.
It took her a while to get the correct type of pastry, to make the outside. She eventually settled on a sort of croissant dough. She then figured out how much to cook the meat before baking it, with the dough.
Before her were six flaky, buttery, meat pies. They seemed to radiate with Celestia’s light at their magnificence.
(Celestia was having her own problems of a similar nature at the moment. But that’s for later.)
Pinkie took one up in her hand. It felt soft, and the golden bread flaked off in her hand, a gentle, warm crisp, that reminded her of everything she loved about baking.
Slowly, she took a bite.
If there were any two things that were made to be eaten together, Pinkie thought, it was bread and meat.
The pie tasted like warmth, a savory explosion of deliciousness, comparable to winter nights by a warm fire, or enjoying the company of strangers in an inn in the Trottingham hills. (I am so so sorry, my vegan readers. So sorry.)
Pinkie relished in the the flavor for a second more, before devouring the rest of the pastry in a few swift bites.
She immediately reached for another one, but as she was bringing the meat pie to her mouth, she stopped. Hmm, I only have five of these left. I want to be sure there’s enough to share!
Oh, Pinkie. You can always make more!
Maybe. I don’t have a lot of Mr. Cake’s beef left.
Pinkie once again scratched her chin. “I’ll give these to my friends, then see how many more I can make.” She smiled. “Good thing I only have two friends who can eat these!”
Pinkie grabbed a pastry box, and quickly wrapped up her five remaining treats, packing them neatly within. She turned and bounded out of the kitchen, and into the storefront.
Sugarcube Corner, which was bustling with patrons, enjoying a pastry and perhaps a cup of coffee, suddenly was joined by a pink gryphon. They all stopped and stared, the pleasant din of the shop silencing, as the horrible gryphon that had terrorized the town, earlier that afternoon, bounced through the shop, and out the door.
The stunned silence continued for a moment more, before the patrons all returned to their eating.
Pinkie bounded down the road, giggling, ignoring the occasional panicked yelps of nearby ponies. I suppose I could go head over to AJ’s first... but maybe I should stop by the library before I go all the way out there! Maybe I should-
Before she could finish her thought, a brown stallion bolted past her, his saddlebags bulging with apples, emitting a low, steady yelling sound.
He didn’t notice Pinkie Pie, even as she looked after him curiously. Looking back to where he was running from, he spied, to her delight, an orange gryphon wearing a stetson, behind an apple stall, along with a tiny yellow filly.
Pinkie Pie bounded towards them, package of treats in tow. “APPLEJACK!”
Applejack, suddenly finding herself beak-to-beak with Pinkie, jumped backwards. “H-hey there, Pinkie,” she said, startled. “What’s up?”
Pinkie grinned even wider. “Eat this!” Not waiting for a response, Pinkie shoved one of the meat pies into Applejack’s maw.
Applejack chewed, and Pinkie could see the flavors explode in her friend’s mind, as the orange gryphon’s eyes rolled backwards in delight. “Pinkie, this’s amazin! what is this?”
Pinkie giggled. “That’s a surprise, silly. Just enjoy it!” Smiling manically, Pinkie Pie began to hop away. Awesome! She thought. Now I just have to get to Twilight’s!
This is going to be so great!
Four pies left.
Pinkie Pie came into sight of the Library. She smiled, bounding up to it, raising a knuckle to rap on the door.
Just as she was headed towards the door, it opened, revealing Twilight Sparkle, gryphon. The purple gryphon was heading out the door, and collided headfirst with Pinkie Pie.
With a simultaneous “oof!”, the two gryphons stumbled to the ground in a tangle of limbs. Inside the library, Spike broke into fits of laughter.
Rainbow Dash, curiously, did not. The pegasus was standing in the library, besides Spike. She snickered a bit, but primarily went over to the two. “Hey, you guys alright?”
Twilight slowly pulled herself to her feet. “We’re alright, Rainbow, thank you.” She graciously accepted Rainbow’s help as she regained her balance.
Pinkie Pie smiled upwards. “Heya Twilight! Oh, and heya Rainbow! Didn’t seeya there!” Without any assistance, Pinkie was to her feet in an instant.
Twilight chuckled. “Hi, Pinkie. How are you holding up?”
Pinkie giggled. “Oh, I’m great! I was a bit bummed this morning, but I’m feeling better now! Especially with these treats I baked!” She produced the box, containing the pies.
Twilight and Spike’s eyes both widened at the scent. “Wow!” Spike exclaimed. “That smells amazing! What is that?”
“That’s a surprise! Here, try it!” Pinkie handed one of the pies to Spike, who took it eagerly.
Twilight panicked. “Wait, Spike, don’t-!”
Spike ate the pie. As he chewed, the enjoyment he got from the treat was made evident on his face. “Oh, man,” he said with his mouth full. “This is amazing! New recipe?”
Pinkie giggled. “Here, Twilight, try one!” She held out a pie.
Twilight grimaced, eyeing the pie warily. “Erm, I don’t think I should.”
Sighing, Twilight took the pie in her hand. “Pinkie, is this meat?”
Spike and Rainbow both flinched a little at the word. “...meat?” Spike asked.
Pinkie, who was still smiling, nodded. “Yup! Mr. Cake had some in storage. When I got my hands on it, my first instinct was to make cupcakes, of course!” She shrugged. “These are more like mini pies, but it’s close enough.”
Twilight looked at the pastry in her hand, twisting her beak with indecision. Poor Spike was beside himself, and he had to sit down.
Pinkie gave Twilight some begging eyes. “Plllleeeeaaaase? Noperson was hurt making it, not even any recently deceased pets! Just try it?”
Twilight sighed again, and shot Rainbow a glance. Rainbow just shrugged.
The purple gryphon ate the meat pie. And I realized I would never write anything serious in my entire life.
Twilight closed her eyes as she ate, different emotions fighting on her face. Pinkie thought she saw a smile, but she wasn’t sure.
Finally, Twilight swallowed. Pinkie was shaking in anticipation. “Well?”
Begrudgingly, Twilight nodded. “It was good, Pinkie. ...Really good.” She wasn’t smiling.
Pinkie frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing, just...” Twilight shook her head. “There are these farms, in the Gryphon Republic.”
“Okay...”
“And basically, it’s a cow farm. The cows there live lives of luxury, with everything they would ever want to eat or read or do, for a set amount of time. The shorter time they’re there, the more luxury they’re given.”
Pinkie frowned. She could see where this was going.
“And, well,” Twilight continued, “when their time’s up, they have a big party with the rest of the cows, and then they go to this big house, where they’re given a shot, and...”
She trailed off.
Rainbow looked horrified. Twilight looked sad.
Pinkie and Spike looked positively mortified.
(There you go, vegan readers. Now everyone who enjoyed the other bits feels bad.)
“But-but-but,” Spike interrupted, “B-but they choose to go there, right? Like they’re poor or something, or they’re in a bad position, and that’s why they go, yeah?”
Twilight nodded. “Well, yes. But still.”
Pinkie Pie sat on the floor. Her time as a gryphon was becoming less and less fun by the minute. “That makes sense, I guess. I mean, gryphons have to eat.” Pinkie sighed. “But I don’t have to like it.” Silently, she pushed the box with the two remaining pies in it onto the table.
Spike scowled at it, before incinerating it with a puff of green fire. “Sorry about your pies, Pinkie, but I didn’t send those to Celestia.”
Pinkie folded her arms. “It’s fine.”
“AND WHY IS THINE TAIL SO LONG?!” Luna bellowed.
Before she could finish her thought, a puff of smoke swirled in front of the blue gryphon. She flinched, but there was no explosion this time. Instead, an open pastry box materialized, containing two small pies.
“Huh.”
Rainbow coughed, inconspicuously. “Uhh, Twilight?” She tapped her wrist with a hoof.
Twilight nodded. “Right, right. Uh, sorry Pinkie, but we’ve got to go.”
Pinkie perked up again, trying to forget the earlier conversation. “Oh, okay! Where you guys headed?”
Twilight and Rainbow exchanged a glance. “Ehh, boring egg-heady stuff, Pinks,” Rainbow replied. “Nothing interesting.”
“Oh, okay.” Pinkie smiled. “Well, I guess I’ll see you guys later then. Have fuunnnn!” Pinkie winked, and bounded out the door, into the evening air.
Once she was gone, Rainbow glanced at Spike, who was still sitting down. “Alright, no more subtle hints. Get lost while I make bedroom eyes at your boss-mother,” she whispered.
Spike rolled his eyes.
Pinkie happily strolled through the cool, night air. The vendors were currently clearing out their stalls and packing up, too exhausted from a day’s work to be bothered to scream at her.
The pink gryphon found herself wondering what to do next. Hmm... I wonder what Rarity’s up to?
Giggling to herself, Pinkie spread her wings, and jumped into the air. The nighttime air felt wonderful on her outstretched feathers, and she began to glide towards Carousel Boutique. After a few minutes, the dome-shaped building was in view, and Pinkie landed on the roof.
Why should I use the door? She thought. Dashie always uses windows.
With a laugh, Pinkie clambered into an open window. She found herself in Rarity’s bedroom, which remained dark
“Huh,” Pinkie wondered aloud. “I wonder where Rarity is?”
CLANG
Pinkie crumpled to the floor, leaving nothing but a faintly-ringing skillet where her head was, hovering in a light-blue glow.
From out of the shadows, Rarity stepped, her horn glowing. “Damn beakies,” she whispered.
Pinkie Pie slowly regained consciousness. As her eyes grew into focus, she discovered she was tied to a chair, in the downstairs rotunda of Carousel Boutique.
Before her, Rarity was poised at a battle stance, her horn alight. Twilight stood in front of her, the purple gryphon’s claws raised, glowing with a staticy white aura. Rainbow stood behind Twilight, her wings flared, ready to jump at a moment’s notice.
“I knew it!” Rarity screeched. “None of you are to be trusted! It was all a trick!”
“Rarity!” Sweetie Belle shouted, angrily. Pinkie turned and saw her at the top of the stairs, looking down on the scene.
Rarity turned to face her sister. “Now now, Sweetie Belle, I told you to stay-“
Twilight’s claws glowed brighter, and suddenly the Boutique was filled with a giant explosion.
Except when they were laughing at her, and making her say misspelled words.
“Say it!” One of the books on the table bounced slightly, just opening the cover enough to mimic a mouth. “Say actualy!”
Twilight tried not to, but the abomination came unbidden to her lips. “A-a-a-actualy! Ow!” The missing letter pinched Twilight’s tongue like a wire, causing her to wince in pain.
The books laughed some more, hopping around on the table. “Now say exemplory!”
“Exemplory-Ow!” Twilight winced again, close to tears. “Stop this, please!”
“Oh, sure, we’ll stop,” one of the books teased. “All you have to do is read us.”
Twilight perked up considerably at that, and walked over to the table. She reached to the book with one of her hooves...
...Only for the hoof to clunk on the top, not grabbing anything.
The books began laughing again. Panicked, Twilight tried to slide the book off the table, and balance it on the flat of her hoof. It stayed there for a moment, and Twilight smiled.
When she tried to move it, however, the precarious balance made the book wobble and fall to the ground. Twilight stamped a hoof in frustration. “It doesn’t work! It makes no sense!”
The books began laughing again.
Twilight cried and fell to the ground, burying her face in her hooves. She sat there for a moment, sobbing, before a new voice washed over her.
“Twilight, why are you crying?”
Sniffling, the lavender unicorn looked up. There, standing in front of a brilliant white light, was Princess Celestia.
Only, she looked different. Instead of the tall, regal mare, there was a tall, regal gryphon. Pure-white feathers gave way to a pure-white coat, and the primaries on her wings stretched behind her, illuminated by soft, pastel colors. Kind, almond-shaped eyes of gold smiled down upon the unicorn.
Twilight, for some reason, took all of this in stride. “snff... Princess, I can’t pick up any of my books. Hooves are just so useless!”
Celestia smiled. “Well, Twilight, I know exactly what you need.”
“Y-you do?”
Celestia stepped aside, to reveal a shopping display, revealing a strange type of yellow, pointy glove. “You need Gryphon Fingers™,” she recited, smiling, still with her warm, motherly tone. “Can’t grab something with blunt protrusions of bone? Gryphon Fingers™ can help. With Gryphon Fingers™, all of those impossible tasks you can never seem to wrap your head around make sense.”
Twilight nodded. “But what if I need more than one?”
Princess Celestia stepped further aside. Another yellow glove sat, on another shopping display. “Well than I have good news for you, faithful student. If you order in the next twenty minutes, I’ll give you two Gryphon Fingers™ for the price of one.”
Twilight nodded, excited. “This is exactly what I need! How do I order?”
Celestia’s regal, almost golden beak, smiled wider. “Well that’s simple, Twilight Sparkle. If you want to see two Gryphon Fingers™ on your hooves right now, all you need to do is-“
“WAKE UP, you feathery impostor!” Rainbow Dash yelled. “Who are you?! What are you doing in Twilight’s bed?”
Twilight blearily opened her eyes, the fickle world of her dream wavering and then extinguishing like a dying candle, leaving the steady trail of memories, hazy and indistinct, drifting upwards into her consciousness. “Huh? Rainbow Dash?”
“And how do you know my name? Who are you? And why are you purple?” Rainbow grabbed Twilight’s shoulders and shook her vigorously, rousing the newly made gryphoness thoroughly.
“Rainbow! Stop that!” Twilight scolded.
Rainbow stopped shaking her, but did not let go of her shoulders. “Why should I?” she asked.
Twilight groaned, and pinched the bridge of her eyes. (with her fabulous pair of Gryphon Fingers™!!!) “Listen, Rainbow, I’d love to explain it to you, but I’m starving. Can we go downstairs first?”
“You expect me to just go downstairs with some home invader in Twilight’s bed?!” Rainbow fumed.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Oh, yes, of course. Home invader, right. What if, Rainbow,” she poked the pegasus’ chest, “what if I’m actually a houseguest?”
“Oooohhh...” Rainbow nodded. “S-sorry, my mistake. So, you’re a guest, then? A friend of Twilight’s?”
“Well, no, but-“
“INVADER!” Rainbow tackled Twilight to the ground. “Why are you here?! What are you doing?! Stealing, uh, books? Yeah! Why are you stealing books?!”
Twilight was pinned beneath Rainbow’s athletic hooves. “Oh my Celestia, Rainbow, will you just-“
At that moment, Spike decided to poke his head in the door. He spied Rainbow, pinning Twilight to the ground. He stared for a moment, before snickering and covering his mouth with his hand.
“Th-this isn’t what it looks like!” Twilight stammered, blushing furiously.
“Sure, sure,” Spike laughed. “Whatever you say, Twilight. I made you a late lunch, it’s downstairs.”
“Spike!” Rainbow declared. “Are you blind?! This isn’t Twilight! This is some home invader!”
Spike arched an eyebrow. “Really? Describe this ‘home invader’ to me, if you will.”
Rainbow tilted her head. “Huh? But, she’s right-“
“Humor me.”
“Ugh, fine.” Rainbow peered at the purple gryphon. “Hmm... Well, it’s a gryphon.”
“Okay.”
“A purple gryphon.”
Spike nodded. “Keep going.”
Rainbow rubbed her chin, inspecting the invader with a scrutinizing eye. “A purple gryphon... with lavender crest feathers, a couple of off-pink feathers on her forehead, kinda like-“
Rainbow’s eyes shot open. “Oh!”
Twilight smiled, nodding. “Please get off me now?”
“T-Twilight! Oh, sorry! Sure!” Rainbow hopped off of her friend, allowing the purple gryphon to hobble to her feet. The pegasus continued to stare with wide eyes, standing across the bedroom from her friend. “Wow. What happened to you?”
Twilight ruffled her wings, as she gingerly folded them back into place. “Well, Rainbow, I was magically turned into a fish.”
“A fish?! But you look like a gryphon.”
Spike smacked a hand to his face.
Ignoring Rainbow, Twilight tilted her head backwards, gently trying to fold her wings. However, she could not seem to get a hold on the loose feathers that were stopping her. “Ugh! If I never have to deal with wings again, it’ll be too soon.”
In the palace, Princess Celestia sneezed.
Rainbow Dash just stood there, stunned. It was easy enough to accept that such an odd and out-of-place thing would happen to her friend, given her track record with magic experiments and adventures.
But why did it have to be a gryphon? Rainbow pursed her lips with anxiety. Given her track record with gryphons, namely, one gryphon in particular who shall remain anonymous, it began to make Rainbow think about things that she generally kept to the confines of her diary.
“Gah!” Twilight grunted in frustration. “Rainbow, how do you deal with these things?” The gryphoness stretched out her wings, and turned so that Rainbow Dash could get a full view of them.
Dash watched, intently, as the precious primaries pulled the wings upwards, stretching to their full, impressive length, as the creature below them swirled about in graceful movements that captured the sparkling of her-
“Rainbow?”
Dash blinked. “Huh?”
“My feathers!” Twilight moaned, looking generally distressed, now. “They’re all messed up and sticking in weird directions and I don’t know how to fix it! Could you help me out?”
“Oh, sure! You just need to, uh-“
“Need to what?”
Rainbow shrugged, smiling nervously. “Nothing much! You just need to, uh, preen them.”
Twilight brightened considerably. “Oh, is that it! Hah! That’s just like a bird!”
“Yep!” Rainbow’s eyes darted around the room, trying to look anywhere else. “So, I’ll just let you get to that, and I’ll-“
And then Twilight put a beak to her wings and started preening right in front of me wha-what the hell is she doing?
“U-uh,” Rainbow stammered, “T-Twilight?”
Twilight paused for a second, removing her head from her lewdly extended wing. “Am I doing this right? My feathers are getting straighter, but I’m not sure.”
Rainbow Dash was shaking in her hooves, sweating profusely. “Uh-uh-uh-uh-“
Twilight cocked her head to the side in a decidedly avian and compromisingly adorable way. “Rainbow?”
The pegasus opened her mouth. “Asunimboideguelfianoturiesixtyyniogrobl.”
Twilight blinked.
Rainbow blinked.
Spike clapped his hands together. “Say, Rainbow! Why don’t we let Twilight get cleaned up, and I’ll get you something to eat, downstairs.”
Rainbow nodded dumbly. Spike went out the door and Rainbow followed, gently closing it behind her.
Now alone, Twilight drummed her talons on the floor. Now what was that all about?
Shrugging, she returned to preening her wings. She couldn’t help but notice how oddly ticklish, and... sensitive? They were.
It took several minutes for her to finish, including bending into some odd positions, to reach the more difficult sections of her new limbs. When she finally finished she flapped them for a moment, before nestling them neatly at her sides.
“Man, that was tedious,” Twilight commented, stretching her neck.
“Twilight!” Spike called from downstairs. “Come on, your food’s getting cold.”
“Be right there!” Twilight turned to head for the door, before she caught her reflection in a mirror.
Twilight stared at herself for a long time. The image she saw was bizarre, a yellow beak and lavender feathers, with giant wings and a long, tufted tail. A far cry from the neatly-combed mane and spiral horn she was used to.
But after looking at her eyes, she realized it wasn’t really that different.
“Twilight!”
“I’m coming!” the gryphon tore herself away from her reflection, and bounded down the stairs.
At the bottom of the stairs, Twilight encountered Spike and Rainbow, obviously in the middle of a conversation. Spike was laughing so hard he was almost falling out of his chair. Rainbow had her hooves crossed, and was blushing angrily.
Twilight cocked an eyebrow. “What were you two talking about?”
“Nothing!” Rainbow growled, mostly to herself.
Spike just laughed harder.
“Ooookay,” Twilight replied. “Umm, could I get that food, Spike?”
“Sure, sure.” Spike pushed a plate of scrambled eggs and toast forward on the table. Twilight beamed, then quickly sat down, picking up a fork in her talons and munching on the food happily. “Man,” she said, “these are good, Spike!”
“I don’t think I’ve ever used a fork before,” Rainbow noted.
“Aw, thanks Twi.” Spike smiled. “I just made em same as usual. Maybe you like them better now?”
Twilight nodded, her beak full of food. “Maybe. I should really read up a bit more on gryphon biology. And gryphon culture! And maybe just gryphons in general.” She smiled at her assistant and the pegasus. “This is the perfect excuse, don’t you think?”
“What?!” Rainbow asked. “Really?! I mean, I’m all for reading and everything, but you just grew wings, Twi! Don’t you want to try them out?” She slammed a hoof on the table.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Oh, I tried them out alright. An hour lesson with Suite Disposition and Bowline, most of which I spent scared out of my wits as I floated above the palace floor.”
Rainbow tilted her head. “Wait, you already got lessons? From who?”
“Princess Celestia’s guards,” Twilight replied, as she continued to eat. “They were both pegasi, anyway, so they knew how to fly. They gave us an impromptu lesson while we were waiting for Celestia to clear up the issue with some of the-“
“Wait wait wait wait,” Rainbow interrupted. “Celestia’s a gryphon, too!? You gotta tell me what happened.”
Twilight finished eating, then thought back. “Well, we had sent a missive to the Gryphon Republic, to compare results in the Annual Agricultural Survey. When we got the response, however, instead of a scroll, there was this big flash of light, and everypony in the room became everygryphon in the room.”
Spike blinked. “Wait, so, gryphons turned you into gryphons?”
“I guess?”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.” Twilight shrugged. “I can’t begin to guess their motives, and it’s not like I can just send them another letter. The only thing I can do is have faith in Princess Celestia.”
Twilight examined her new claws, peering at them over her food. “I can only imagine what it’s like over there. There might not be a single pony alive who’s been!”
Asleep in her rocker, Granny Smith sneezed.
Spike raised a hand. “Except for Princess Celestia, right?”
Well yes, but she’s sneezed enough, don’t you think?
Twilight waved a wing dismissively. “Well, yeah. That’s why I’m leaving it to her.”
Rainbow cocked an eyebrow. “...Are you okay, Twi? Usually you’d be on something like this like white on rice.”
The gryphoness twirled her fork idly. “Yeah, yeah, but I think I’ll just stick to studying gryphons, right now. I’ll look into the spell mechanics afterwards.” She smiled at the pegasus, holding it a bit longer than normal.
“Twilight...” Rainbow walked over to her friend, putting a hoof on her shoulder reassuringly. “I’ve known you for a while now, and I can tell something’s bothering you.”
Twilight sighed. “It’s just... Being a gryphon. It’s-“
Rainbow’s eyes widened. “Oh! Oh, uh, we don’t really have to talk about that.”
“What?” Twilight cocked her head. “I was going to say-“
“I-I know what you’re gonna say, Twi.” Rainbow hurried back to her chair, trying to avoid eye contact with Twilight. “I mean considering you’re from Canterlot I can’t really blame you but still I’d prefer if maybe we didn’t talk about that so much, you know?”
Twilight blinked, her ears flattening backwards. “No, really, I don’t.”
“Well, I mean, I like ya, Twi,” Rainbow explained, “and I really want to continue liking you. You’re my friend, so let’s just never bring this up, alright?” The pegasus flashed her biggest, most painfully sincere smile.
“Um, Rainbow?” Twilight asked, edging a word in. “I was gonna talk about my cutie mark.”
Rainbow blinked, her expression blank. “Your cutie mark? Oh.”
The former unicorn nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I was gonna talk about.”
Rainbow Dash nodded.
“And what were you talking about?”
“Oooooh... Well...” she waved a hoof, pursing her lips in a curiously pained expression. “...nothing important.”
Twilight shot a glare across the table. “Rainbow.”
“Really, Twilight, it’s not anything you-“
“Rainbow.”
“Twi, it’s kind of a touchy subject, so-“
“RAINBOW DASH.”
Rainbow threw her hooves in the air, her head slumping on the table in defeat. “Fine, fine.” She sat upright again, still not meeting Twilight’s gaze. “Well, you know, my great-grandad was in the War.”
Twilight nodded, and Rainbow continued. “Well, him, and a sizable chunk of all pegasi at the time, didn’t really... like gryphons.” She forced a laugh. “At all, really. In fact, you could say that they hated them.”
“Oh, I heard about that.” Twilight cringed. “The B word. A lot of prejudice in that old generation. Nothing like Equestria now, though.”
Rainbow Dash winced. “Weeeellllllll...”
Twilight’s eyes shot open. “Wait, really?!”
Spike raised a hand. “What’s the B word?”
“Spike!” Twilight growled. “Go to your room.”
And Twilight, being a gryphon, actually growled. Spike yelped and jumped out of his chair, zooming up the steps as fast as his tiny feet could carry him.
After he was gone, Twilight turned back to face Rainbow across the table. “So, you thought I was racist?”
Rainbow shrugged. “Sorry, but yeah. I mean, you’ve met those snooty Canterlot nobles, right? I never took you for one of them, but it’s still the same culture.”
Twilight nodded, begrudgingly. “Yeah, yeah. And your great-grandfather was, erm, opinionated in such a way?”
The pegasus nodded, her head listing to the side a little. “Yeah. A lot of pegasi are, actually. And my, uh, grandpa.”
“Also understandable, I suppose.”
“...And my father.”
“Oh, I see.” Twilight nodded. “But not you.”
“No! Oh, no.” Rainbow smiled ruefully, shaking her head. “Definitely not. Believe me, not at all.” She allowed herself a small, nervous laugh.
Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, I see... Is this about, what’s-her-name... Gilda?”
“Y-yeah!” Rainbow’s eyes shifted about the room. “Yeah, she told me some stuff.”
“Really.” The gryphon leaned backwards, twiddling her thumbs. “Exactly how close were you with-“
“So! We were talking about your cutie mark.” Rainbow dive-bombed the conversation into a different direction. “Or, I suppose, your lack of one, at the moment.”
Twilight sighed, but didn’t argue. “Yes, yes. It was, um, bugging me, I suppose.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Yes, please, if that’s alright.”
Rainbow raised a hoof. “I’m happy to help a friend in need.”
The leathery yellow corners of Twilight’s beaks tilted upwards a bit, before continuing. “Yes, well, it’s nothing major, I suppose. But, um, my cutie mark, as you noticed, is gone.”
True to point, Twilight’s flank was not only the deep, royal purple flank of a lion, but bore no marking whatsoever. “Anyway,” she continued, “it’s a bit unnerving. I spent most of my life identifying myself by my cutie mark. It’s who I am!” Twilight banged a fist on the table, looking Rainbow deep in the eyes.
Deep into her beautiful, wonderful... Rainbow cut herself off. She coughed conspicuously. “Er, right. Go on.”
“Well, now,” the gryphon continued, “It’s not there. And despite myself, I can’t help but feel that it makes me, well, not as much as I used to be.” She slumped backwards, the tone of her words trailing off into dismissal.
“Hey, now,” Rainbow argued, leaning forward. “What kind of attitude is that? You might look different, but you’re still you!”
“Am I?!” Twilight replied. “I know that I can still recite the 66 Channeling Codices, and draw a summoning circle blindfolded. Being a gryphon hasn’t changed anything of my mind, I know that.”
“Then what’s the issue?” Rainbow countered.
“I can tell myself that till the cows come home,” Twilight put a claw on the table in emphasis, “but I can’t do magic. And if I can’t do that, how am I good to anyone!?”
“Wait,” Rainbow asked, “You can’t do magic? When did that happen?”
Twilight peered at her friend. “...Are you kidding?”
“No, I’m serious,” Rainbow replied. “You just told me about the gryphon thing. I didn’t hear anything about your magic being gone.”
“Rainbow Dash.” Twilight Sparkle took a moment to realize she actually had to explain this. “I don’t have my horn.”
“Don’t have your...” Rainbow’s eyes widened in realization. “Oooooh. Huh, that’s weird.”
Twilight nodded. “Yes. Generally, ponies need horns to do-“
“No, not that.” Rainbow smirked. “It’s weird that you don’t know about gryphon magic.”
Twilight’s jaw (lower-beak-half-thingy) dropped to the floor. “Gryphons can do magic? Why don’t I know about this?”
Rainbow could hardly contain her delight, having turned the tables on Twilight’s somewhat smug attitude. “How much do you actually know about gryphons, Twi?”
“Evidently not a lot,” she muttered. “Rainbow, no one’s had any contact with the Gryphon Empire until after it became the Gryphon Republic. And even then, all three books I have on them are the only three books released! And two of them are brochures!”
“Well, okay.” Rainbow shrugged. “Sure, I know some stuff. Any questions?”
Twilight’s shocked expression shifted into a smile. “Any questions! Ha! You can tell me everything you know about gryphon magic, culture, or practices!” She leapt from her chair, leaving it to clatter backwards on the floor, as she dashed to a shelf to retrieve a notebook.
“Um, okay,” Rainbow realized she might not have made the best decision. She was a bit distracted however, as her eyes drifted onto Twilight as she walked away.
Twilight, deprived of her horn, stretched herself upwards, to retrieve a quill and ink from the top shelf. “So, the biggest question I had for Princess Celestia was about the architecture of Gryphon cities, but that was before I knew that gryphons had mages. Which brings up another point, which percentage of the population is magically capable? And I don’t think you’d know what the average skill of each user is, though I might be able to extrapolate based on the percentage of blah blah blah blah blah, but blah blah blah gryphons blah blablah, blah blah bubublah, blah blah blah agricultue blah blah blah blah first king, blah blah blablablah, blah blah blah mythology blah blah blah blah blah bublah. But blah blah blah-“
Twlight continued with her speech, as she continued to retrieve various supplies from the shelves. Rainbow Dash was content to just watch her work, as the pegaus’ jaw was open and her mind was filled with more compromising thoughts.
Then, Rainbow heard a creak of wood. Her head whipped around to the stairs, where she saw Spike, gently stepping down them.
Spike saw her, and an amused expression crossed his face. Rainbow put a hoof to her cheeks and realized she had been blushing. Spike saw her realize this, and began laughing, silently.
Rainbow scowled at him, then made a crossing motion, across her neck.
Spike just grinned. His eyes flicked to Twilight for a moment before going back to Rainbow, before he nodded at her. You like that, don’tcha? His expression spoke plainly.
Rainbow’s intense glare responded. Shut up you incorrigible lizard!
You liiiiiike it.
Scram!
Spike coughed, loudly. “Say, Twilight, I can get those for ya.”
Twilight turned her head. “Oh, thank you, Spike.” She jumped down from the shelves and returned to the table.
The dragon shot Rainbow a mirthful glance, before jumping to the shelves. “No problem. I wouldn’t want to keep you from your conversation.”
Rainbow Dash wished very plainly to strangle him, but she spoke through her teeth, instead. “Yes, thank you, Spike.”
Twilight lay all the books she had gotten out in front of her, before smiling at Rainbow with sparkling eyes. “So, Rainbow, what do you want to talk about first?”
Rainbow sighed. Alright, Dash, we suddenly find ourselves in a compromising situation. What do we do?
Well, Rainbow, you’re face-to-face with a gryphon, which is sure to bring up inappropriate thoughts, given our history.
Yes, Dash, that is the problem. There’s also the fact that it’s Twilight, so, that’s a double-whammy. I just need to keep my mind clear. How do I do that?
...Seals. Just think about seals.
Seals? Why would I-
Don’t think about it
-but I-
Just do it think about seals seals Rainbow seals seals think about seals
“Rainbow?” Twilight leaned in closer. “Are you alright?”
Rainbow’s face flushed from the close quarters Twilight put them in. Sighing, the pegasus set her mind to thinking about seals. Seals, seals... They’re like dogs, but in water... They’re kinda fat... “Yeah, Twi, I’m fine.”
“Alright.” Twilight picked up a quill. “Let’s get started.”
Rainbow gulped. Arf.
Thinking about seals had helped.
Until Rainbow didn’t need to think about seals. She was just too bored.
“Augh!” She groaned, rolling her head on the table. “Twilight, you’ve asked me a million questions. I don’t know half of what you’re talking about!”
Spike, who had long since taken the duty of note-taker, nodded in agreement. “Yeah, Twi, I don’t think you’re going to get much more out of her. Why don’t we just take a break?”
Twilight had her beak buried in a book. “Hmm? Oh, alright.” She closed one book and grabbed another, frowning. “Wow, gryphon culture is... really different from ours. Sort of, I dunno, creepily so?”
Rainbow lifted her head. “How do you mean?”
Twilight waved a claw. “Oh, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
The pegasus shrugged, then dropped her head back onto the table with a clunk. “Well, whatever you want to ask me, could you finish it up? You can’t have that many more questions.”
“Oh! Oh, sure Rainbow.” Twilight sighed, glancing from the book to her notes. “I had a few more questions, but I guess they can wait until later...”
Dash sighed. “Well, come on, Twi,if it’s a few more, that’s fine, but I’m kinda bushed, you know? I could really go for some hayfries.”
“I’ve got an idea,” Spike intervened. He stepped in between the two women, standing on the table and gesturing to them both. Rainbow shot him a curious look, but he ignored it. “Twilight wants to ask a lot more questions. Rainbow wants to relax and get a bite to eat.” He clapped his hands together, triumphantly. “How about Twilight asks the rest of her questions, whatever they are, and in return, she buys you something to eat?”
Rainbow’s stomach grumbled. She blushed, then turned to Twilight, who she found to also be blushing. Through her feathers.
Huh, that must have been louder than I thought. Rainbow shrugged. “Alright, why not? I’ll get a free meal out of it, at least.”
Twilight nodded, as well, a little too eagerly.”Sure! I-I’d love to. Uh, finish the questions, I mean.”
“Alright!” Spike declared. “It’s a da- er, I mean, it’s a deal.” He hopped down from the table, and headed for the staircase. “I’ll be upstairs if you need me.”
“Want me to call Applebloom?” Rainbow called. Spike blushed furiously, but did not reply. He quickly vanished up the stairs.
Rainbow shook her head, grinning ruefully. She turned her attention back to Twilight, who was looking after her son/brother/assistant/slave with concern. “What’s this between Spike and... Applebloom?”
Rainbow waved a hoof. “Nothing like what you’re thinking, I promise. Though they would be cute together.”
“Then what was it?”
“Not my place to say.” Rainbow stretched her arms, which is to say, she stretched the hooves on the upper half of her torso. They’re called arms. Really. “Now, are we going to get these questions done or what?”
“Yes! Yes.” Twilight shiffed her papers around on the table, scrutinizing them intensely. “Okay, the rest of the questions are on the final topic, and then we should be good to go.”
“Final topic?” Rainbow asked. “What’s the final topic?”
“Well,” Twilight began, “in most studies, it’s actually the first topic, but with the sample size being what it is, I didn’t think it relevant enough to ask first.” She put a fist to her throat as she cleared her voice, then make a small marking on the page.
“Subject Profile?!” Rainbow asked. “I thought this was about gryphons and stuff, not a science experiment.”
“It is about gryphons,” Twilight replied, nodding her head slightly. “I guess it’s a mix between natural and cultural history, but that’s not the point. The point is, the more the report knows about you, or at least your views on gryphons, then the more accurately they can gauge what the margin of error is on the information therein.”
Rainbow blinked, then squinted, as though she was going through numbers in her head. “I understood... like, sixty percent of that. Maybe sixty-five.”
Twilight groaned internally, but managed to contain her exasperation to a mere agitated head-shake. “Alright, alright... Imagine you’re looking through a piece of blue glass, at something yellow.”
Rainbow nodded, and Twilight continued. “Good. Now, what color is it?”
The pegasus responded, somewhat confused. “...Green?”
“Right! Now, if you were describing it to somepon- someperson else, what would you say?”
“...I guess I’d say I saw something green,” Rainbow ventured, “but tell them that I’m looking through blue glass, so they know it might be yellow?”
“Right!” the purple gryphon beamed at her friend. “And that’s basically why I need some information about you in the report, Rainbow.”
“About me?!” Rainbow’s eyes shot open. “Why the hell do you need info about me?! I just thought your report was about gryphons, no way am I going to be in there.”
Twilight folded her arms. “Rainbow! I just explained this. If gryphons are the yellow thing, you’re the blue window. It’s not even going to be very much about you, okay?”
Rainbow bit her lip, glancing anxiously around the room. There were many things about herself that she was less than eager to expose to the general public. She was very tempted to refuse.
But Twilight’s face. Rainbow’s resolve sputtered and died the minute she saw the eager look on the beaky new visage of one of her best friends. “Yeah, okay.”
Twilight gripped her notes tightly, nearly squee-ing with delight. “Okay okay okay. Ahem.” She set down her notes, still smiling. “Alright, first question.”
Rainbow Dash waved a hoof. “Let ‘er rip.”
“When was the first time you met a gryphon?”
“Flight camp. Not long after I got my cutie mark, actually.”
“985?”
“On the money.”
Twilight scribbled into her notes. “Alright, how about a bit more info? Where, why, etc.”
“Well...” Rainbow squinted her eyes. “It all began when I was looking for a shortcut...” the pegasus trailed off, her head tilting slightly.
Twilight waited for her to continue. She did not. Glancing up, the purple gryphon found that Rainbow was completely distracted, lost in her own thought. Twilight rolled her eyes. “Rainbow!”
“Buh! Wha..?” Rainbow was shaken from her trance, looking back to Twilight.
She pounded a fist on the table. “No flashbacking! You have to speak.”
The pegasus crossed her arms and grumbled something that Twilight could barely hear.
“I don’t care that it worked on the crusaders, it won’t work on me.”
“Fine.” Rainbow sighed. “I met her at flight camp. All of the ponies, or gryphons I guess, who could already fly were allowed to basically do whatever they wanted for most of the time. I bumped into her when I was looking for a shortcut to the mess hall, and we just sorta connected.”
More scribbling. “And you were friends, correct? Even after flight camp?”
“Yep.” Rainbow laughed slightly, remembering the old days. “We both lived in Cloudsdale, so we just hung out when we could.”
Twilight nodded, falling silent for a moment. Rainbow sat up, trying to take a peek at the paper, but it was too far away. She sat back down, and Twilight spoke again. “Did Gilda- sorry, I’m assuming this is Gilda?”
“Uh, y-yeah.” Rainbow glanced downwards.
“Did she ever mention her parents?”
The pegasus shook her head. “No. But she didn’t live with them. She lived with... well, I think it was her grandpa. It might have been her uncle, though. At any rate, the guy wasn’t her father.”
“Another gryphon?”
“Yep.”
“Okay!” Twilight marked her paper, smiling happily. “Just one more, and we’re done!”
Rainbow smiled. “Oh, joy.”
Oh boy.
Twilight cleared her throat. “What exactly was your romantic relationship with Gilda? When did it start, how long did it last, and was it a healthy relationship, or-“
“Woah woah woah!” Rainbow jumped from her chair, nosing up to Twilight angrily. “These are so not scientific questions!”
“Rainbow!” Twilight rebuffed. “These are perfectly normal, rational questions! What’s the big deal?”
“Well for one thing, you can’t just go assuming so much about my past with Gilda, even if it happens to be true. And there’s no way these questions are for the report! This is something you want to know about!”
Twilight gasped, her feathers ruffling all around her neck. Really, it looked very humorous, but neither of them cared to mention it. “I never! I have been nothing but professional about this! This is just you projecting your issues onto me!”
They stopped for a moment, sitting and fuming at each other with death glares. The two stayed that way for several minutes, before they broke eyes and took a minute to cool off.
It was difficult for everyone involved.
Eventually, Twilight broke the silence, after they both had sufficiently cooled down. “Were you serious about what you thought I meant?” The question was put forth as a question, with a delicate, innocent tone.
Rainbow didn’t return it. “Were you serious about your cutie mark?”
The question was a distraction, Twilight knew, but she answered it anyway. “...Yeah. Ever since I was little, it’s always been there. I was trying not to think about it too much, but when you mentioned gryphons still had magic, I was so relieved I think I was about to cry. Just... Just to have it back. Even when I wouldn’t acknowledge it was gone.”
Rainbow’s ears dropped, as she suddenly felt guilty. She continued listening, determined to be more considerate.
Twilight sighed. “Now I know, at least, I have my talent back, but what about Applejack? Or Pinkie Pie? I’m worried about them.”
Rainbow gave a soft laugh. “Oh, come on. Applejack can still kick the apples off of trees in a heartbeat, and I bet Pinkie’s going to be throwing her ‘changed species’ party soon. Again.”
“I... I actually don’t think so, Rainbow.” Twilight met eyes with her friend. “AJ’s not going to be able to buck. Her bones are hollow! She’s strong enough to, but nothing will happen if she tries. And Pinkie? Well.” Twilight waved a claw. “That’s just a recipe for disaster. Even if one out of ten ponies has a ‘prejudice’, and doesn’t show up, Pinkie will be heartbroken. Not to mention what will happen if she tries to sell stuff at Sugarcube Corner!”
Rainbow idly recalled some commotion in town, from earlier that day. “...Nah.” She dismissed the notion. “I’m sure they’re both fine. And now that you know about magic, your’e fine, too!”
Twilight nodded. “Yeah, I guess.” Her ears perked up. “Speaking of which, how do you know about that magic? No offense, but Gilda doesn’t exactly seem like the studious type.”
Rainbow laughed. “You’d be surprised, actually. Besides, all she ever did was a light spell. Not even that bright.” The pegasus pointed a hoof at Twilight’s hands. “Came from her talons.”
Twilight brought her hands to her face, examining them closely. Rainbow watched her, her heart beating furiously. “D-don’t ask me how, but that’s what she did.”
There was a silent moment, that Rainbow hoped would never end.
gurgle
Tough luck.
Twilight glanced back to Rainbow, and stifled a chuckle. “Hungry?”
“No!” the pegasus glanced away, blushing again. “..Maybe.”
The gryphon laughed again, closing her notebook. “Well, I did agree to buy you lunch.” She jumped out from behind the table, and began to walk towards the door. “I know I just ate, but I’m still ravenous, so don’t worry about-“
Twilight was cut off as she suddenly ran headfirst into Pinkie Pie, who was directly behind the door. With a simultaneous “oof!”, the two gryphons stumbled to the ground in a tangle of limbs. Inside the library, Spike broke into fits of laughter.
Rainbow Dash, (not so curiously) did not. She snickered a bit, but got up to help the pair. “Hey, you guys alright?”
Twilight slowly pulled herself to her feet. “We’re alright, Rainbow Dash, thank you.” She graciously accepted Rainbow’s help as she regained her balance.
“Heya Twilight!” Twilight and Rainbow looked down to see Pinkie Pie, grinning upwards at them like a cheshire cat-bird. “Didn’t seeya there!” Without any aid, Pinkie leapt off the ground, settling into an upright position almost instantly.
Twilight chuckled, despite herself. “Hi, Pinkie.” The thought of Cutie Marks passed through her mind. “How are you holding up?”
Pinkie giggled, the motion spreading across her alien features with an amusing ruffle of feathers. “Oh, I’m great! I was a bit bummed this morning, but I’m feeling better now! Especially with these treats I baked!” From seemingly nowhere, the manic pink gryphon produced a pastry box, containing some delectably pungent pastries.
Wow, that smells amazing, Twilight thought, as her eyes grew wide. I wonder what-
No, she didn’t. She didn’t she didn’t she-
“Wow!” Spike exclaimed, from behind her. “That smells amazing! What is that?”
“That’s a surprise!” Pinkie laughed. “Here, try it!” Before she realized it was happening, Spike had one of the pies in his hand, and was raising it to his mouth.
Like a train wreck in slow motion, Twilight watched helplessly as her number one assistant ate the pie, expanding his palate in an unfortunate direction. The small dragon’s face made his appreciation of the treat evident. “Oh, man,” he managed to say through a mouthful of food. “This is amazing! New recipe?”
Pinkie giggled. “Here, Twilight, try one!” She held out a pie.
There was no doubt in Twilight’s mind now, what was in those pies. It was evident when Rainbow had not reacted to them in any way, nor did Pinkie offer her one. While the smell was decidedly enticing, the realization that these were meat pies made her slightly reluctant. “Erm, I don’t think I should.”
Seeing the look on her friend’s face, Twilight sighed. She took one of the pies, feeling it’s greasy warmth in her palm.
It does look good.
“Pinkie, is this meat?”
She could hear Rainbow and Spike flinch, though they were both out of her field of vision. “...meat?” Spike asked. Twilight’s heart sank a bit at the scared tone of his voice.
Pinkie was the only one still smiling. “Yup! Mr. Cake had some in storage. When I got my hands on it, my first instinct was to make cupcakes, or course!” The pink gryphon shrugged. “They’re more like mini pies, but it’s close enough.”
Twilight stared intently down at the pie in front of her. It wouldn’t hurt to be cultural, she thought. But after what I read in that book about the farms...
No, Twilight. This pie is already made, and something’s going to be done with it. And you’re going to have to talk with Spike about this later, and this will help. You know he’ll need help.
She spared a glance at Rainbow Dash, who looked rather out-of-sorts. The blue pegasus just shrugged.
The purple gryphon ate the meat pie. I’ve written that twice, now.
Twilight’s brain was a battlefield. On one hand, there were so many reasons this was wrong. This had, at one point, been another living, breathing being. It had lived loved and died, and now she was ingesting its flesh. Something completely alien to pony culture, completely taboo, and she was partaking in it.
And yet...
And yet it tasted so good. The rich, savory flavors of the meat, sautéed in a sweet marinade, wrapped in a buttery, flaky pastry bun, the entire warm delight surging through her senses with a deplorably pleasurable shudder.
Twilight almost decided that she liked it. There was nothing wrong with this, the-
“Hello, Twilight dearie!” Twilight turned to see a friendly cow waving at her, as she trotted down the road to Applejack’s.
She returned a small wave of her own. “Oh, hello... Muriel, was it?”
“That’s right, missus! Don’t worry aboot it, we’ve not met, don’tcha know.” The cow chuckled ruefully. “You have a nice day now, y’hear?”
“Thank you! You too!” Twilight trotted on, considerably brighter.
“Well?”
Twilight was shaken from her recollection by Pinkie, who was looking at her with excitement, obviously expecting a response.
After a moment, Twilight opened her beak. “It was good, Pinkie. ...Really good.”
Pinkie frowned. “...What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing, just...” Twilight shook her head. She would have to explain this to Pinkie. “There are these farms, in the Gryphon Republic.”
Pinkie looked concerned. “Okay...”
“And basically, it’s a cow farm. The cows there live lives of luxury, with everything they would ever want to eat or read or do, for a set amount of time. The shorter the time they’re there, the more luxury they’re given.”
Pinkie frowned. Twilight kept going. “And, well, when their time’s up, they have a big party with the rest of the cows, and then they go to this big house, where they’re given a shot, and...” Twilight trailed off, allowing the other to make the connection on their own.
There was silence. Twilight allowed the others to consider it for themselves. She was most worried, however, about-
“But-but-but,” Spike interrupted, confirming Twilight’s worries. “B-but they choose to go there, right? Like they’re poor or something, or they’re in a bad position, and that’s why they go, yeah?”
Twilight nodded. “Well, yes. But still.”
There was a small plop as Pinkie Pie sat down, on the floor. “That makes sense, I guess.” She sounded lost. “I mean, gryphons have to eat. But I don’t have to like it.” She wordlessly pushed the box with the two remaining pies onto the table.
Spike scowled at it. And, much to Twilight’s surprise, responded to the box with a puff of green fire, vaporizing it in a whirlwind of flames. “Sorry about your pies, Pinkie,” he fumed, “but I didn’t send those to Celestia.”
Pinkie folded her arms. “It’s fine.”
“AND WHY IS THINE TAIL SO LONG?!” Princess Luna the Gryphon bellowed.
Before she could finish her thought, however, a puff of smoke swirled in front of her. She flinched, but instead of an explosion, or even a letter, a small white box materialized, containing two small, freshly baked pies, which wafted with a heavenly aroma.
She regarded them oddly. “Huh.”
Back in the library, the four of them stayed silent for a moment. Eventually, Rainbow coughed, inconspicuously. “Uhh, Twilight?” She tapped her wrist with a hoof.
Ooh, right, we should get going. “Right, right. Uh, sorry Pinkie, but we’ve got to go.”
Pinkie perked up again, once more her old self. “Oh, okay! Where you guys headed?”
Date, Twilight’s brain thought, before she could stop it.
Date, Rainbow’s brain thought, entirely unrestrained by any pretense on Rainbow’s part.
The two shared a glance. “Ehh, boring egg-heady stuff, Pinks,” Rainbow responded. “Nothing interesting.”
“Oh, okay!” Pinkie smiled. “Well, I guess I’ll see you guys later than. Have fuunnnn!” Pinkie shot them a wink, before bounding out the door, leaving only Twilight, Rainbow, and Spike in the library.
Rainbow leaned down and whispered in Spike’s ear. “Alright, no more subtle hints. Get lost while I make bedroom eyes at your boss-mother.”
Twilight, unhearing, looked at them both oddly. “Uh, should we be going?”
Rainbow smiled at her. “Sure! Seeya Spike!” After a moment, the couple pair exited the library as well, entering the cool night air, and letting the door slam behind them.
Spike rolled his eyes.
Twilight Sparkle, unicorn, and Rainbow Dash, pegasus, had a lot in common. For one thing, they both liked to talk.
Twilight Sparkle would talk about anything under the sun to anyone who would listen, as long as she could use several large, unwieldy words, and if the subject had some sort of mathematic or scientific aspect to it.
Rainbow Dash would talk about flying, flight records, race times, weather patterns, world records, and the occasional action novel. All of these things easily meshed with Twilight’s preferred subjects of speech, and so the two could speak freely to one another, and almost always enjoy the conversation.
While they had radically contrasting personalities, they contrasted well, not as opposites, but as complements. They would often spend lots of time just hanging out together, whether it was in their group or just by themselves.
They were also both head-over-heels for each other. Assuming ponies have heels.
But, they never did anything about it. Bummer. They didn’t mind, however. They were both more than content to live in mutually assured denial, because things were good, and there was nothing that would make it awkward, or imply that they wanted anything more than what they had.
Then Twilight turned into a gryphon. And Rainbow Dash was suddenly confronted by not only her crush, but her not-so-subtly hinted at romantic history. She found herself sneaking glances at the lithe form that walked beside her. She decided to break the silence, mostly to preserve her own sanity.
“So where should we go?” Rainbow asked. The pair were walking down the street, standing next to each other, a bit closer than they typically would.
“Oh, well, I don’t know, it’s pretty dark out, isn’t it?” Twilight replied. Her head swiveled around as she looked for an open restaurant. “Maybe we should look for more of a dinner thing.”
They were the only people in the center of the expansive Ponyville square. “...Is there a new curfew, or something?”
Rainbow racked her brain, trying to think of an open restaurant. “Hmm... Isn’t Petit Cheval Magique open? That bistro on Main?”
“Petit Cheval Magique?” Twilight began. “Isn’t that sort of-“
Intimate?
“Actually, that’s perfect.” She bumped the pegasus playfully as they walked. “I didn’t realize you enjoyed such fancy food, Rainbow.”
Rainbow laughed, returning the bump. “Well, not usually,” she replied. “But it’s a really good place to take a date.”
The words stumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them. She suddenly found herself petrified, trying very hard to keep up the illusion of a casual attitude and stride as she panicked, her mind reeling. “N-n-not that,” she stammered, “that this is a date! I mean, unless you want to, uhh, that is-“ she laughed, nervously, “I mean if you even are, um, thinking about, at all, uh...”
The pegasus was stammering breathlessly. Twilight’s eyes shot open. “Rainbow, are you alright?”
Date date date date daaaaa- “I-I think I need to sit down.” Rainbow sat on the dirt, one hoof to her chest, as she began to hyperventilate.
Twilight placed a hand on Rainbow’s back. “It’s alright, Rainbow. Deep breaths, deep breaths. In, and out. In, and out.”
Rainbow began taking the deep breaths, slowly calming down from her panic attack. Finally, she relaxed, and pulled herself to her hooves. “...Wow, sorry about that, Twi.”
Twilight waved a claw. “Don’t worry about it. I get panicky sometimes too, and it helps to know how to calm down.” She smiled ruefully to herself. “Just relax and deep breaths.”
Rainbow glanced at Twilight. “...You have panic attacks on your own?”
“Well,” she began, “not just on my own. Spike’s usually there.”
“Ahh, yes,” Rainbow nodded, her eyes narrowing. “Spike.”
The purple gryphoness smiled. “Yep! Spike.”
Beat.
“So, uh, the bistro? Wanna fly there?”
Twilight nearly flinched at the suggestion. “F-fly? All the way across town? At night?!”
“Sure!” Rainbow grinned, throwing an arm across Twilight’s shoulders. “Flying at night is the best. And I’ll be with you every step of the way, I swear!”
Twilight tried shaking her head, scooting away from Rainbow’s grasp rather desperately. “Oh n-no no no that’s okay, we can walk, I th-think it’ll be fine if-“
“Nope.” Rainbow grabbed Twilight tightly, (for totally safe and sensible flight reasons, nothing else, really, I mean it) and before another word could be said, they were swiftly fleeing from the flat, expansive earth, the rooftops of the town sinking below them, capturing the illuminated streets in little veins of light upon the distant earth, as the pair beheld the expansive night sky, littered with the just the last breath of the setting sun in the west, and the early evening stars in the east.
Twilight gripped Rainbow tightly, her eyes darting around madly. But slowly, she began to relax, her wings spreading almost instinctively, as she beheld the beautiful night around her. “Wow...”
Rainbow grinned. “Cool, right?”
Twilight nodded, daring to lean away from Rainbow, though still not letting go. “It’s... incredible. Does it always look this beautiful?”
“Yeah. Not only at night, all day, 24 hours. But it’s hard to see much of it from the ground. Up here, you get everything.”
“This is nothing like when I flew in Canterlot...” Twilight inhaled, deeply, enjoying the frigid air. “This is unforgettable.”
Rainbow watched Twilight, as the lavender gryphon’s face darted around in wonder, a small smile growing at the corners of her beak. And Rainbow couldn’t help but smile a little, too. “Yeah. Unforgettable.”
Then Twilight leaned too far and broke off from Rainbow.
Rainbow Dash, being a sane and rational pony, expected that Twilight was paying attention, and broke off so she could fly on her own, as she had claimed she could.
Twilight was also sane and rational. Still, she didn’t react... ideally to being let go.
Her deep purple wings clamped to her sides and she began to plummet towards the earth, screaming with fear.
Rainbow blinked, as the object of her affections vanished from her sight. “Oh, crap.”
Without another second of hesitation, she dove downwards, determined to catch her. “This seems to be a recurring theeeemmmmeee!” She yelled over the wind, as it ripped across her face from the descent.
Twilight looked with fear at the rapidly growing ground. On reflex, she held up her claws, to defend herself. On another reflex, she unconsciously reached for her magic.
Rainbow was a mere few feet behind her. They were both another mere few feet from the ground, approaching fast.
Then Twilight’s claws shone with a brilliant white aura, a staticy, crackling thing, that popped and lit like a firework. It encompassed the pair, and they both vanished, leaving the empty Ponyville street abruptly and eerily unnocupied..
Across town, in a crowded bistro, nothing remarkable was happening. Ponies in their booths chatted to each other, enjoying the fine food and the impeccable service.
And when I say impeccable, I mean impeccable.
Butlowe, the head waiter, a grey pony in a suit coat with a pencil moustache, prided himself on a steady, quick service, for all of his guests, with no questions asked. While it wasn’t his restaurant, it was his pride and joy, and he worked hard to make sure that the waiting service at Petit Cheval Magique was, above all else, reliable.
So, when a staticy white explosion resounded through his waiting room, depositing a frumpled pair of fliers upon the ground, he didn’t even flinch.
“Good evening, madames.” Butlowe was, of course of course, cultured enough to recognize a female gryphon from a male. He retrieved a pair of menus from the seater’s desk, and offered them. “Do you have a reservation?”
Twilight managed to extricate herself from the ground first, pushing one of Rainbow’s limbs out of the way. She looked at Butlowe with a vacant expression, before slowly coming to her senses. “Uh... no, sorry.”
Butlowe nodded. “Quite alright, madame, we have several tables available. If you would just follow me?”
It took a few minutes for Twilight and Rainbow to get to their feet, and they graciously followed the waiter to a booth, the red faux-leather cushions and white tablecloth beside a window, which overlooked the darkened Ponyville streets.
They graciously took their seats, still slightly dumbfounded at their reception. Once they were settled, Butlowe handed them the menus. “I will be back in a few moments to take your order. Would you care for any drinks this evening?”
Twilight and Rainbow exchanged a quick glance. “Um, water is fine for now, thanks.”
“Of course.” Butlowe bowed his head, and quickly departed.
Twilight looked forward, blinking, taking a moment to attempt to process what had occurred. She stared numbly across the table at Rainbow, who was glancing over the menu.
The pegasus smiled. “Ooh, pasta.”
Twilight was aghast. “Pasta?! After all of... that just happened, and you’re thinking about pasta?!”
Rainbow nodded. “...Yeah?”
Twilight grabbed the menu angrily. “Rainbow, this place is known for their ravioli!”
“Oooooh.” Rainbow turned the menu over. “Manchego and olive? That sounds awesome.”
“It is.” Twilight picked up her own menu, glancing over the items.
An hour later, several emptied plates littered the table, as well as an almost-empty bottle of the ‘house red’. Both Twilight and Rainbow were laughing, their faces leaning close over the table, within inches of each other.
“You’re joking!” Twilight exclaimed.
“No, I’m serious!” Rainbow laughed. “Gilda would do this thing with her wings, but they were so large, it just looked weird!”
“Pfft hahaha.” Twilight’s forehead met the table.
There is an interesting phenomena, when two individuals have a subject they both wish to broach, but are reluctant to do so. Even the smallest amount of alcohol will loosen tongues greatly, as the words needed not to be fetched from the depths of said individual’s mind, but merely from the forefront.
As such, Twilight and Rainbow Dash started off on the idea that they were on a date. “Hee hee, I hope you don’t expect me to do that, Dash.”
“Oh? And why not?” Rainbow giggled. “This is a date, isn’t it? Hah!”
“Well, I did buy you dinner, heh.” Twilight looked into Rainbow’s eyes. “Does that make this a date?”
“Only if you want it to be.” The pegasus giggled, waving her eyebrows suggestively. Twilight couldn’t help but laugh at the absurd gesture, and Rainbow quickly fell into it behind her.
“Ah-heh.” Twilight looked down fondly at the empty wine glass in her talons. “Oh, dear, it seems I’m out of wine.” With a thought, one of her claws lit up with a small, staticy white glow. A similar glow encased the glass. She idly twirled her glowing finger, and the glass spun with it, tilted over the table.
Rainbow looked on with an appreciative eye. “Say, you’re getting pretty good at that.”
Twilight nodded. “Yeah, it’s not too different from usual, once I figured it out.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Twilight released the magic, deftly catching the glass in her claws. “When I first tried to reach my magic, I freaked out because it wasn’t in my head anymore. Magic usually comes from the mind, at least for Unicorns. But Gryphon magic runs along the spine, oddly enough.”
Rainbow blinked. “And when you figured that out, it was good as new?”
“Oh, Celestia no.” Twilight shook her head. “The magic’s weird, too. Mine usually is a steady stream of tingly, warm energy, whereas this is ice cold, and fizzles and pops a lot. It takes some getting used to.” She smiled. “But it’s really kind of a unique experience, you know? I never thought I’d get such a hooves-on experience with another type of magic like this.”
Rainbow wasn’t really listening. She was more enjoying the look on Twilight’s face as she explained something, which she thought was just awesome.
Because really, Rainbow’s a huge romantic doofus.
Twilight noticed the pegasus smiling vacantly at her. She grinned, despite herself. “...What are you looking at?”
Rainbow took a moment to regain focus. “...Huh? Oh, uh-“ She coughed, conspicuously, straightening her silverware. “Nnnnnothing. Not really.”
Twilight exhaled, briefly, before leveling her gaze at Rainbow’s. “...Rainbow, is there something you wanted to tell me?”
Rainbow’s mouth opened and closed for a few minutes, before she finally stammered a response. “Y-y-yeah, actually.”
Twilight cocked an eyebrow. “And?”
“....Well-“
“Twilight! Rainbow Dash!”
The tender moment was interrupted by the loud voice of a small child. They both looked beside their table to see Sweetie Belle, breathless, staring intently back. “W-would you come and talk to my sister? She’s gone a little crazy.”
Unbeknownst to Twilight and Rainbow Dash but knownst to us, Sweetie Belle had been on her own little adventure in the past six hours. One that involved magic, running, risk-taking, and the events between a certain earth pony filly and a certain dragon in the South Field.
It’s too bad we’ll never hear this story. Ever.
Twilight exchanged a quick glance with Rainbow, before addressing the small unicorn. “Um, Sweetie, what exactly do you mean by ‘crazy’?”
“Weeelll, she’s muttering to herself as she sulks about the Boutique, doing weird things with her dresses.”
“Oh, Sweetie. That’s normal, especially for a mare like Rarity.”
“But this time, she has a gryphon that I’m pretty sure is Pinkie Pie tied up in a chair, and I don’t think it’s to model fetishwear again.”
This got their attention. Twilight and Rainbow were on their feet in an instant. “Okay, Sweetie, we’ll be right there.” Twilight hung her head in Rainbow’s direction. “Rainbow, would you mind staying and dealing with the bill?”
“Don’t sweat it, I have a tab here.” Rainbow waved a hoof at Butlowe, who nodded in return.
“Alright then, I guess.” Twilight raised her claws, which had already begun to glow with a bright, staticy aura. “Hang on tight!”
There was a loud bang and flash of light, and suddenly all three were gone, leaving nothing at Petit Cheval Magique but a rattling wineglass.
They appeared upstairs. Twilight could instantly hear Rairty downstairs, as the manic unicorn presumably was talking aloud to herself.
“Alright, Sweetie, you stay here. Rainbow and I are going to go try and calm your sister down, okay?”
Sweetie nodded, and the two adults headed down the stairs. As they opened the door and began to silently creep down the steps, the Boutique came into sight.
Rarity was, in fact, pacing the floor nervously, as various scraps of cloth and half-finished garments were strewn across the floor. Near the door, Pinkie Pie the Gryphon was tied to a chair, her head tilted to the side as she was out cold.
“Yes-yes-yes-yes,” Rarity muttered. ‘Yes, I could do that, couldn’t I, couldn’t I, couldn’t I. Couldn’t I? Or could I? There would be no way to dispose of the feathers without leaving evidence. And would it be wrong? I don’t think so. Don’t think so. Don’t think so.” She constantly changed direction, wandering all over the display floor.
As she moved, continuing to talk to herself, she caught sight of the stairwell, and the two figures cautiously moving down it. Her eyes widened. “H-huh? What are you doing here, Rainbow? And why is that beakie with you?”
Twilight cringed a little bit at the slur, but remained silent. She instead nudged Rainbow.
Rainbow winced, but spoke nonetheless. “Heyyyy, Rarity. Why do you have Pinkie Pie tied up?”
Rarity stared dumbly for a moment, before she tilted her head. “...Huh? I don’t have Pinkie Pie tied up. I just have that beakie who looks like Pinkie Pie tied up. She came into my bedroom through my window, just like daddy always said.”
“Rrrright.” Rainbow shrugged. “Well, you see, Rarity,” Rainbow supplied, as she gently continued down the stairs and onto the Boutique floor, “that gryphon there is actually Pinkie Pie.”
“...Wh-what?”
“Yep! You see,” Rainbow continued slowly towards the unicorn, “when they were up in Canterlot, there was a little accident, and they turned into gryphons! Ha! Isn’t that funny?”
“S-so..” Rarity bit her hoof anxiously, looking at Pinkie Pie again. “So that’s Pinkie Pie?”
“Yes.”
Rarity peered between Twilight and Pinkie. “A-and that’s Twilight?”
Twilight managed a small wave. “Hey, Rarity. It’s me!”
The white unicorn bit her lip. “How can I be sure? Daddy always said that beakies are tricky.” She gestured with her hoof. “Trick tricky beakies, they can never be trusted, that’s what he said.”
“Rarity.” Twilight stepped forward, cautiously maintaining a safe, innocent distance from Rarity, as she tried to approach the unconscious Pinkie Pie. “It’s me. Really. I’m Twilight. I’m not trying to trick you, and I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“W-well...” Rarity turned her gaze between Rainbow and Twilight, not settling on either. “I’m not sure...” She finally landed on Twilight, fixing her with an innocently mistrustful expression. “How can I be sure?”
Rainbow heard a noise behind her. While the other two spoke, she turned around, to find Sweetie Belle sneaking along the back wall. Rainbow’s eyes shot open. “Sweetie!” she whispered. “What are you doing?!”
Sweetie held a hoof to her lips, and silently continued to crawl along the floor, as she approached Pinkie Pie’s chair.
Twilight noticed, too. Her eyes flicked briefly behind Rarity’s back, but she didn’t say a word. “Rarity, please. It’s me. I’m not going to hurt you, I’m not going to do anything. I just want you to untie Pinkie Pie, and then we’ll leave, and the next time you see us, everything will be back to normal.”
Rarity began to nod her head, but stopped. “...Hang on, what were you looking at?” Her head whipped around to see Sweetie Belle, her hoof reaching for Pinkie’s ropes.
Rarity exploded. With a blast of magic, she slingshot Sweetie Belle back up the stairs, before pivoting on her heels to face Twilight, her face twisted into a snarl.
Twilight backed away as fast as she could, panicked. Rainbow jumped behind her, and she raised her claws. “Rarity, calm down.”
“Corrupting my sister?! With your venomous honey in her ear?” She growled. “I...I knew it! None of you are to be trusted! It was all a trick!”
“Rarity!” Sweetie Belle shouted from the top of the stairs.
Rarity turned to face her sister. “Now now, Sweetie Belle, I told you to stay-“
Oh, Celestia, I don’t know what I’m doing! Twilight’s claws glowed brighter, and she hoped to Tartarus that this would work.
Then her claws erupted into a giant explosion, shattering every window of the Boutique.
