I just wanted to be loved

by XenoJohn

First published

After the events of SCP containment breach all of the SCPs escape and caused total chaos around earth...But when SCP 096 escaped he found himself in a different place in a different world

Some Chapters are a mess...I will edit some when I have the chance to, and also looking for possible editer

SCP 096 finds himself in equestria after the events of SCP Containment Breach.

He is confused and seeking answers.

But how would he get these answers?

And will he ever change what he is?
Or remain forever a monster?

if you don't know about SCP containment Breach or SCP 096 there will be links to them

SCP containment breach
SCP 096

Chapter 1

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Should I dare to look at it? It looked...It didn't know if it should look. And now its dead.

And I'm the one to blame. But it has been a month since I was looked at...But it looked. And now I had to end it, and for what?
I never had a good reason why I had to attack, nor did they deserve it.

But should I dare look at it? Should I dare look at this...At what I've caused just because curiosity killed the cat.
And it was the cat.

I went in a stage of sadness when it looked. I didn't want to be looked at for what fate I will bring. But I just was overcome by sadness...And the voices...They wanted it gone!

They keep telling me or the sadness continues! But I wanted to calm down and just run away!

But what difference does it make?

They look, they die.
They asked for it. After its gone I get a feeling that it was worth it, and they deserved to die.

But my deep, black, heart tells me my actions are a sin, and it was a mistake to do these actions.

And this question...Shale I dare look at it?

This thought ran through my mind like if I were infected by a plague of words.

I hear my own sounds that I make, these sounds aren't like any other you would hear.

These sounds is what poorly keeps me sane...Or am I sane? Or was I always insane?
And the thought of looking at the one which I forced myself to kill fills me with dread...

Why? Because they look at me and which I kill them for that reason, and the other reason is I don't want to look of what makes me a monster.

I know I am...At first I didn't really care what I was. Until they found me and locked me away.
But I was looked at...I killed...And I found a exit.

When I escaped that prison...So many looked, and they all deserved their demise.
Then I realized. How many did I kill?

Before I could continue that thought they got me and took me back to that prison...
They started calling me SCP 096.

I never had a name but since they called me that I kept SCP 096 as my name.
I still remember the years go by so slowly until everyone escaped. I did as well. And I saw was an apocalypse.

After the apocalypse ended which surprisingly took only a day.
After a month I found myself in a new place...And everything was different.

And it looked and which lead me to now.


After of thinking of all of that the one thought still stuck in my mind. I took the rarest moment in my life and looked.

It was a kind of pony...But it didn't look like a pony that I would see.
It had a type of horn on it, its face was chewed off leaving nothing but bone. Its lower body was ten feet away from my position.

I can see its organs and several limbs scattered around me and the corpse. And blood was painted on my body like artwork.

I didn't feel regret or remorse of what I've done to it. I crawled over to the body and just sat down, crossed legged and put my long arms on my head.
And a new thought entered my mind.

Why did I kill it? I thought.
Why don't I feel regret? Why do I force myself to kill? Why was I called a monster?! As I thought I nearly went into the stage of sadness when I was looked at.

But I heard hooves hit the ground.
I thought nothing of it and I continue to sit down and without other thoughts, I just leave my mind blank hoping I wont get looked at.

"Where is this noise coming from?" A voice spoke. The voice sounded like if it were a little girl.
"Don't worry sweetheart we will just find your mother and we will get back home." Another voice spoke.

I heard the voices speak and I've just killed a mother. I don't think it was my first of killing a mother.
I saw them only for a brief second so they don't look at me.

I heard the voice of a little girl scream. The scream caused me to look. I looked at two ponies with different colors on them.
The father looked straight at my face and I looked at him.

Its too late...

The damage was done.

I was overcome by extreme sadness. I got up on my feet and put my hands on my face and slowly began to make sob like sounds.

The father pulled out a hunting rifle and pointed at me. "Sweetheart get away from it!" He screamed.
The other was overcome by horror as my sobs grew louder and louder.

I got to a loud scream and I was immediately consumed in extreme rage and ran in incredible speed to the father.

He shot at me, but my speed only gave him to fire one bullet.
I started to tear off limbs as the fastest as I could. I grabbed his backbone and tore it out of his body. My screams were like no other, then my kill pasted away. The kill only lasted up to four to five seconds.

The other looked at me and I ran to her, she didn't have time to move and I was one her like a wild animal.
I ripped off her limbs and dug my hand into her stomach. I heard her screams of agony as I made a mess with her organs.

The pain was so unbearable it caused her to pass out....

Then pass away.

I left the bodies and walked deeper into the forest I was in.



Hoping to be left alone...


For everyone's sake.

Chapter 2

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I continue to walk down this forest with the blood of the young and innocent still fresh on my pale skin, I see the cold snow on the grass and other terrain still untuched, still white and frozen like my skin and my eyes which show no color but the snowy ground I walk on and leaving a trail of fresh blood from my newer victims who met their demise.

I took look at my surroundings of this forest.

Everything looks the same...But it feels different.
This place feels like a new home. But I treat it like another place to be feared. I know that I am feared, but at first I didn't know why I was feared. Until I realized when I was looked at my face. Even at first I never wanted to be looked at.

But my behaviour of not being looked at is what they want me to be for as long as I still breathe.

But when I get looked at, it triggers a hostile reaction. I become greatly sadden and end up being a unstoppable killing machine.

I have no control over that behaviour. Because of that behaviour is what made people fear and hate me.

If you're just hated and feared no one wants to love you and be with you when times are dark.
Even at first before I was in that prison, before the apocalypse started, and before now...

I was never loved...

How would I be loved if I can't be looked at straight in the eye?
How would anyone else feel if you can't be looked at if you end up killing them.

Nothing would ever love you.



After of thinking of my awful fate I heard wolves howling. I also thought nothing of it and just continued to walk.
When I hear things that might be threatning I don't feel concern. I don't know why but I don't really care.

I heard a pack of wolves run up to me, I heard them and I looked just to see where they are.
I see the wolves...But they aren't normal wolves.

They seem to be made out of wood than flesh and bone. I know I am in a different place. So there are different things.

The wolves continue to look, but they just crawl away.

This happened to me a few times. I don't know the reason but it just happens.

Maybe the wildlife here...And back there don't really care if they want to kill me or not.


I look again...

I see a house.

***

Nightlight woke up with a jult and gasped, she heard those noises again but this time they were louder.

It has been two weeks ever since she has been hearing them.

She looked around her room but she couldn't see much of because her left eye that was blind.

Nightlight sighed and layed back on her bed. She hoped not to hear the noises again tonight but you can't always get what you wish for.

She heard the noises, but they weren't the reason why she woke up.





She felt a hand slightly slide across her face.

Chapter 3

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Nightlight woke up after another night suffering the lack of sleepless with stange noises and things that scared the living soul out of her.

She looked at her clock next to her bed.

8:30 am

"I wish today was a saturday." She said to herself with a yawn.

She put on her glasses, even though her left eye was blind she needed reading glasses as well, some of her friends at school questioned her, but she told them she needed it.

And she thought they looked cool on her.

The light brown pegasus toke her scarf for the winter, she also thought it looked cool on her as well but no one really minded her.

She trotted out of her bedroom and down stairs.
She saw her mother sitting on her chouch reading the newspaper.

"Where's dad?" Night Light asked her mother.
"Your father had to go work earily." She replied. Night Light made a soft sigh and trotted to her mother to sit becide her.
"So how was your sleep Night Light," Night Light layed down on her back and looked at the seiling and made a tired yawn.
"I wished I had any at all."

Night Light's mother looked at her and chuckled. "And how's that?" She said.
Night Light didn't want to tell her about those noises, she can't even decribe how they sound. And her mother would call her crazy if she told her about the feeling of something sliding a hand down her face.

So she thought up with a smart lie to tell. "Late night horror flics." Night Light lied.
Her mother made another chuckle and let out another smile.
"I told you those movies will give you nightmares and keep you up at night and get no sleep, we've talked about this last thursday."
"I know, I know mom I just like horror movies that's all...Some are just very scary..." Night Light said with another sucessful lie.
Night Light looked at her mother's news paper and one artical caught her eye.
She grabbed the article and started to read it.

Family found dead in woods!

The artical read.

A family of three was killed in the entrance of the Everfree forest.
There were bloodied foot prints of a creature of unknow origin. A team of police went to followed the tracks but were never found again. Police are still after the killer
Find out more on page 3

***

The creature sat crouched behind a tree outside of NightLight's house. Its white eyes that show nothing but looking like the dead themselves.
Its long pail arms were touching the tree's bark. But he couldn't let go. The creature was hypnotized of what his souless eyes were staring at.
Nightlight.

Ever since he saw her, he was always hypnotized by her looks. But she didn't know his existence, she may have heard his noises he makes but she doesn't know who was the carrier of those sounds she hears at night.

And they've never have even been so close up to each other that there was no way to denie both of their existences as just a lie.
But being up close to a creature who has the ability to kill anything living before they can end a scream. Is one thing he didn't want her to meet.

But not just yet.

"Nightlight its time for you to go to school." Nightlight's mother said.
Nightlight put down the article and made a yawn and got off the couch.
"I didn't even have breakfast mom..."
"Well it looks like you have to wait until lunch."

With another yawn from the tired Pegasus Nightlight grabbed her note books, text books, and her saddle bag and packed her school work.


As Nightlight exited her house and on her way to her school. The creature saw her making her way as he stood next to the same tree he always hid.

He followed her to every where she went just to look at her and watch her doing the things she does with her life.
But he always stayed in the woods, no matter how far she went away from any forest area he must stay where the trees lay.
It wasn't time for him to expose himself to public eyes. If so he'd be slaughtering them. But he wasn't ready to show himself to anyone.


He followed and watched over the Pegasus as she did her school work and talked to her friends and teachers.

But one thing draws him to confusion.
Every time he looks at her, and follows her, he had a feeling that he never felt in his life. A kind of feeling that made all of his sadness and anger and all of the things that bother with his life seem to just go away.

Last night he almost made a smile when he was under her bed. He was so close to her that he could actually put his hand on her face. And he did. He knew that Nightlight would have a negative reaction, and he knew he should've not been in her room.
But he just wanted to be a little closer to her.


Just so he can see her dreaming that night.

***

The final school bell ran and all the fillies and colts exited their class rooms and headed their way to their homes.
But Nightlight was sound asleep, and everypony in her class room had left but her.
Nightlight felt a hoof shaking her tired body. Nightlight jumped after several shakes, she got up and looked at the one who was shaking her.
"Nightlight get up." A voice said.

"Sorry Ms. Cheerilee...I'm...Just a little bit sleepy..." The light brown Pegasus said, her eyes trying not to shut multiple times.
"Sleepy...? You've been falling asleep in class more than once, this has been going on for two weeks and your school work isn't doing as good as it used too."

"I know...It's just that...Well things aren't doing as great at night and-" Ms. Cheerilee put her hoof on Nightlight's mouth interpreting her sentence. "That's just an excuse you've used more than once...Look, I know you're tired like you were the past week and this one. Today just try to do something to get some sleep."

As Nightlight lazily exited her school the creature again stared at her, but he had a slight bit of confusion of why she did so.

Is there something wrong? he thought. the creature quickly moved to the next tree and hid behind it., it wasn't big enough but contently put in a hidden spot, but he was able to look at Nightlight.

Nightlight's eyes were closing and opening slowly, he didn't know why she was doing so.
But he whipped away is confused look and continued to stare.



The creature moved from tree to tree with ease and never seen from anything else. As he looked at Nightlight entering her house.

The routine he went through was stalking her and waiting until he can't view her.
He has become a little worried about that but always forgets. He had questions of where he was at before, but he was drawn away from that. But he had question he thought of a week back.

Is this place is where I belong now?

That question was forgotten until today. So he sat down behind the tree he stood at and took time to think.

He ran through many theories, he was never good with theories.

It took him hours with failed ideas of his question.

He took reality's side and gave up with his ideas and theories. the hours of thinking and not one theory satisfied him.
He looked at the night time sky, it wasn't night time earlier.

A loud noise was heard.
He knew it was coming from himself. He didn't know how to stop it nor does he know how he makes those sounds.

Just like every other victim who looks



But what does he care?

He is nothing but a killer, but not that average mentally ill one with an adiction to homosidal actions.

That one rare thing you never see in any type of homocilde nor sociophath behaviour in any way.

That one monster with a forever feeling of lonlyness, fear, even sadness that searches for one thing that will make all of those feeling all just disappear...


But who will see something with razor sharp teeth, souless eyes and a deformed body with the lack mercy or remorce, will ever feel that kind of emotions?

But what does he know?




"I'm just a freak that needs to be locked away in some kind of cage..."



I said sobbingly.

Chapter 4 (ACT1)

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It's early in the morning and Nightlight was sound asleep. She was glad tomorrow was a Saturday and that she would be able to sleep in. She hoped Monday morning wouldn't come back and haunt her for another week.
Nightlight had a powerful imagination and dreamed of many things; well, usually violence and war most of the time but she didn't really care. Sometimes she lets her imagination can get very sexually intimate, but what's she going to do about? Stuff happens when you're a teenager.

She dreamed of sitting in a beautiful forest as a fully grown mare in the winter sunlight, wearing a beautiful scarf and dark blue sweater.

It was beautiful, just like herself. The forest was as peaceful and quiet as Luna's moon every night. Alone from the world and all the insults she received; she was only accompanied by the snow-covered forest trees and the warm feeling of love. Every time a dream such as this would occur, Nightlight felt like she was in love with some special pony. She always tried to see who her special-somepony was, but she would always wake up before she could find out.

This dream was also rare for her; normally she would get a five second dream about something silly or weird. Too bad she'll forget what happened ninety seconds after she has woken up. However, her dream-self will still had admired such a moment.


A loud buzzing noise came from Nightlight's alarm clock. She woke up with a jolt and slammed the off button.
It was a Saturday and there should be no reason to have the alarm on.

Her night was peaceful and quiet, thankfully those noises she heard at the start of the week weren't there to keep her up. Maybe she'll hear them again, for her things like this don't die off easily and especially not without a fight. There is a possibility for those kinds of events.
Nightlight got off of her bed and looked at the propaganda poster from the Shadowbolts.

The poster was covered in catch phrases such as "Join the Shadowbolt brotherhood!", "Help us make Equestria in a new image!", and "Long live Nightmare Moon!".

Though she was half blind she could still see the poster easily. She has always been interested in the Shadowbolts, who wore dark suits very similar to the Wonderbolts, and attacked or even murdered random ponies: stealing jewels, Bits, and other miscellaneous merchandise.

All of what they do had given Nightlight thoughts about joining them. She imagined herself years from now, standing side by side with Equestria's most feared and frowned upon. She had become an evil individual and loyal to the darkness of Nightmare Moon.
It would be amazing, but Nightlight knew she would never join them. She could only imagine herself being a Shadowbolt, playing imaginary games with her friends,pretending she was a Shadowbolt. She knows so much about the Shadowbolts, any other pony could call her a fan-girl.
But for now she will move on with her normal weekend agenda. Getting out of her bed she trotted down stairs to see her father reading a newspaper.

"Why would anypony believe that there is a unknown monster in the Everfree Forest? Soon they'll claim to see aliens." Her father stated out loud. For a royal guard that is supposed to be quiet on the job, he always says everything that goes through his mind. One time, he commented on a mare he'd seen and mother had a long talk with him that night. It was quite funny of what happened, there wasn't even any fighting for Nightlight's sake, but there was a lot of her mother overreacting. To this day she still would silently laugh off his mistake.


"Good morning dad." Nightlight said happily. Her father looked at Nightlight and smiled "You seem happy today." he replied.
"What, a filly can't wake up with a smile on her face?" Nightlight laughed. Her father continued to smile and went back to reading the newspaper. The filly hopped downstairs and sat on an antique brown chair before picking up a comic book. She always sat in that chair; if she was doing homework or studying she'd bring it to the table. She brought that chair to the dinner table every night, she really liked that old chair.

The Amazing Power Ponies issue #5709 The Mysterious Mare Do Well
Nightlight was a fan of the power ponies too, she tended to read these comics on the weekends and even in class when the teacher isn't looking.


Twenty Years ago

I walk through this frozen forest with a blank mind and no sense of direction. I don't remember how I got here or why I am even here. Not a single question I ask dares to show an answer.The cold of this forest is freezing my body, but I still continue to move. The wind is tearing off my skin, but I deny the pain. I appear to be in a cliche and with no ways to end it all. I suppose that my only option is to keep walking. I must expect answers that I will never have.

Delayed Again

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