The Conversion Bureau: Dinner Among Friends

by Mray

Act I: Part I

“So, you hear about these ponies up in New York?” The young man asked, his eyes bright as he tilted his head forward, peeking over the Lennon eyeglasses that rested on the end of his nose, leaning on the table toward the other human.

On the other side of the booth, his friend took a long, slow drink from his forth glass of Coke, draining it a quarter of the way before setting it down and answering, “What about them?” He responded with his own question, picking up his silverware and beginning to cut a small strip from the sirloin on his plate.

The man’s visage fell slack, his mouth hanging open for a moment before he blinked, “What about them? Saul, we’ve got another species of sentient beings on our own planet, with lifespans measured in centuries, technology so advanced that they themselves can only describe it as ‘magic,’ and the ability to transform humans into more of themselves, with all the benefits that implies, lifespan included.” The dirty-blond headed man prodded into his large chicken ceasar salad, lifting a forkful to his lips, “I thought…” he continued, placing the morsel into his mouth, quickly chewing and swallowing, “…that you, of all people, would be all over this.” He finished, taking another chunk of salad.

Saul, in the meantime, had slowly lifted the first strip of meat to his lips, his nostrils twitched slightly as he inhaled the scent of seared and seasoned sirloin steak, taking it into his mouth, closing his eyes, and giving a low hum of appreciation, chewing slowly as he drew the juice out of it, savoring the first bite of the evening. His friend took several more bites from his salad, chewing through each one rapidly, keeping his eyes locked on Saul’s closed ones as he ate, but not speaking. Finally, Saul swallowed and opened his eyes, adjusting the maroon tie around his neck, “For the record,” he said, smiling slightly, “I am ‘all over’ this; I’ve been following it as close as I can. I just don’t see any reason in getting excited over it,” He lifted the next strip, “At least not yet.”

“What do you mean?” his friend responded back, “This is everything you and I have ever talked about! That humanity would be humbled by meeting another species, especially one with more advanced tech then us, and that we’d grow up as a species because of it…”

Saul quickly set down the fork in his left hand and held it up, palm out as he chewed, quicker this time, now that his first bite was out of the way, though still slow, savoring the meat as he maintained eye contact, before swallowing again, “I know, I know, but, here’s the thing Alan, that was all just talk and speculation concerning the possibility of a theoretical, generic, -other- species. We now have specifics. Things need to be re-evaluated. Add to it…” Saul continued speaking, picking his fork back up and using it in conjunction with his knife to fully split the baked potato that sat on his plate, just to the side of his steak, into two halves, spreading the butter, cheese, and bacon bits evenly across both steaming halves as he spoke, “…the fact that they’re offering something that neither of us ever considered: Assimilation.”

“Yeah, about that,” Alan began to speak as Saul’s fork dug into one half of the potato, lifting a large chunk with a generous amount of fixings to his mouth to be chewed, “Why exactly aren’t you at least excited about that part? I mean, you’re the one who’s always on-board with the next piece of tech that ‘advances’ humanity, Mr. Transhumanist.”

“Posthumanist,” Saul corrected, practically flicking another piece of potato into his mouth and swallowing, before returning to cutting his steak, and speaking, Alan eating more salad as he did so, the crunch of a stalk of romaine lettuce calling from his mouth, “When I said I was in favor of ‘eliminating unnecessary aspects of the human condition,’ I didn’t mean we should become another species. I meant we should eliminate parts of ourselves that were…‘inconvenient:’ hunger, pain, disease, weakness, irrationality, mortality…this is an entirely different animal than the brain uploading, the cyber-enhancements, and the nanobots that wiped out the eco-plague here in the States. The tech isn’t adding onto or trimming away from the human base, it’s replacing the base outright.” He placed the meat in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed, before taking another drink of the soda, draining the 20 oz. glass halfway now, and continuing, “Furthermore, my idea of being a ‘Posthuman’ doesn’t involve being three feet tall, pastel, thumbless, and…well…sickeningly adorable…” Saul, however, smiled at his friend, “And what about you? You’re supposed to be the humanist out of the two of us. Where’s the stalwart defender of humanity I’ve argued with since third grade?”

“…”

“Alan?” Saul had lifted a forkful of potato to his mouth, and, after speaking to his friend, placed it past his lips.

“He’s…having second thoughts…” Alan looked down at his plate, picking up at taking a sip out of his near untouched glass of water.

Saul practically choked on the piece of potato in his mouth, “WHAT?!” he gasped, coughing and gagging,before swallowing, taking another gulp, draining his glass of the remaining ten ounces, and beating on his chest a few times, “Are…are you kidding? You…YOU…want to be a pony?”

“No…well…kind of…it’s complicated.”

“Enlighten me,” Saul had put his silverware down on his plate and scooted it to the side of the table, he interlaced his fingers as he leaned forward, resting them on the table as he did so. Alan remained silent though, simply looking down and not meeting his friend’s gaze. Saul’s eyes softened, and his body relaxed, “Alan…you’ve defended humanity against my opinions, my insults to their integrity and nature for as long as we’ve known each other. You’re the man who convinced me that at the very least mankind could be saved. And now…now you’re telling me you want to…give up you’re humanity? I just…I don’t understand…” Saul let out a sigh “Sorry…I’m not trying to be pushy…you don’t have to tell me if you don’t…”

“No…I do. I want to tell you,” his friend interrupted him and looked up, “It’s…it’s a combination of factors really…for one thing, the AI boom is spreading into Aerospace Engineering right now…I won’t be able to find a job in my field when I graduate next year.”

Saul nodded slowly, but didn’t interrupt, his eyes stayed focused on Alan’s even though his friend kept looking away. He did, however, glance to his left when the server started walking toward their table, apparently noticing his empty glass. Saul’s hand darted out, and made a quick waving motion with his hand, the server stopped and nodded, making brief eye contact with Saul, before turning and walking away to check on his other tables.

“Then there’s the fact that…well…I wouldn’t be human anymore…” He looked straight at Saul, eyes locking as he nodded to his friend.

“Why is that a good thing? From your perspective, that is,” Saul asked on the queue.

“Well, you know how we always talk. How I’ve…sometimes felt about humanity.”

“Yeah, you occasionally get bent out of shape over the actions of some psychopath, or some corporate crime that’s been uncovered, or you’ve found out some new, horrifying bit of history…it hurts you for a while but…you’ve always bounced back, especially when I start off with my ‘what do you expect’ routine.”

A smile flickered across Alan’s face, but disappeared a moment later“…Do you know the reason? The reason I always came back? Why I always defended humanity?”

Saul frowned and shook his head, looking down at the center of the table, “I thought I did…but from what I’m hearing…I can only guess.”

“Go ahead.”

Saul was silent for a moment, his interlaced fingers lightly giving a squeeze to the back of his hands as he thought, before speaking again, “…was it because…there was no other option, for you anyway. Humanity had to be good, because you couldn’t stand the thought that you were part of something…” Saul trailed off before continuing, “and…you see this is an opportunity to look at things from the outside, to remove any bias you might have…am I in the ballpark?”

“You’re close enough...I’d rather not get into specifics…”

Saul grimaced, but nodded, before motioning for his friend to continue, “There’s more.”

“Yeah. The third reason…well…” Alan bit his lip, his hands going into the pockets of the khaki shorts he wore as he looked down and shook his head. Saul, meanwhile, remained silent, his eyes focused on Alan’s, even as the other young man looked away, “It…it involves well…the chance that I’ll become a…a pegasus…”

Saul squinted his eyes for a moment, his mouth opening to begin to form the first syllable of ‘what,’ before he froze, his eyes growing wide and his mouth falling into an ‘o’ shape, “This is about the flying dream.” The words were spoken steadily, and had a finality to them that indicated that they were a statement, rather than a question. Alan slowly nodded all the same.

The steak-eater leaned back, running a hand through the cropped brown hair of his head before resting his nose on the index finger, fingers and palm curled to cover his mouth and chin. Her remained still for a brief moment, before lowering his hands to the table, “Okay,” he sighed, leaning toward his friend again, “…I understand.”

Alan looked up, eyes wide, “What I…I didn’t think…from the way you were talking I…”

Saul held up his hand, “I don’t agree, I don’t approve, I don’t even think that the option is worth considering,” He said, eyes focused on Alan’s, “But…I do understand…and I’ll support whatever decision you make, regardless of whether I like it or not.”

Alan’s mouth was hanging open, before he smiled and blinked a few times, “T-thanks man…I…thanks.”

“Don’t thank me,” Saul smiled, “You’re my best friend, it’ll take a lot more than you jumping the species barrier to change that.” The two humans laughed, “Now, my food’s getting cold, yours is getting warm, and we’ve officially met our quota for heavy stuff tonight. So, how about we get back to eating, and move to lighter topics?” He asked, sliding his plate back into position in front of him, picking up his silverware and beginning to cut.

“Sounds good to me,” Alan responded, giving a relaxed sigh as he stabbed into his salad again.

The waiter arrived a few moments later with a fifth glass of coke for Saul, “Thanks David,” He said, the server nodded in response, smiling at his two regulars before moving on, leaving the two friends to enjoy their meals and each other’s company.