Joy of hidden Love and the Wrath of Lust
By. FoxofRarity
Chapter. 29
Disclaimer- My Little Pony Friendship is Magic belongs to Hasbro and Lauren Faust.
Octavia softly pressed a pillow against her stomach, she closed her eyes so she can try to comfort herself with the thought that her child would be waking up soon. “I saw him and I kissed him, but that is only my mind playing sadistic sad tricks on me. How can I end up kissing Celestia’s soft, warm lips? And not feel ashamed in doing so, my first night without him, and the first of upcoming endless lonely nights.” Octavia placed a hoof a under the pillow to rub her belly.
“If Gold Sky was here, he’ll be doing this right now. I could already picture his face. Happy, hopeful, patient, and idealist in thinking how to teach Tavi how to fly… well that is if it’s a filly and a Pegasus, he is an Alicorn. Being a trinity of the three pony races, perhaps Tavi will be a Unicorn or Earth pony instead of a pegasus. Or I’ll have a son. I will name him after Gold Sky, I know I shouldn't but our son will have every one of his traits. Uhh, how did it go again…? Uhhh, the son, um, father, son become. OH! The son becomes the father and the father the son.” Octavia felt her mind releasing healthy memories so she wouldn’t stay sad for too long. But those ten years of beautiful marriage with Gold Sky revealed everything about him.
Almost everything.
Octavia saw his great fear when she once said maybe “one day we’ll have a son.” She heard his heartbeat accelerating to a point in which she thought Gold Sky was experiencing a heart attack, but now through his death she understands why he doesn’t want a son.
“He’s afraid that our son will have every one of his traits. Including the ones that turned him…turned him…to lose himself. I never knew Gold Sky will become like that to protect me. I must move on for his sake he’ll want me to live my life without him. NO! He wouldn’t do the same for me! Gold Sky is a hypocrite! If I died, he wouldn’t be thinking what I’m thinking right now, he will be mourning for me every day. Looking at our photo albums, not making my side of the bed, putting some kind of a preservation spell on my pillow so my scent wouldn’t fade away with time, and I know my Gold Sky very well…he will not move on. So why should I…I pray Tavi never says dada.” Guilt and self realization that she too also bears the same traits of Gold Sky caused Octavia to get up from her bed and head to the bathroom so she can wash up to look presentable to Princess Celestia when she joins her for breakfast.
“My strength shall be your own.” Gold Sky’s words echoed in Octavia’s mind but she looked down because he said those words to her before she heard his heart stop completely.
Octavia washed her face and brushed her teeth. She picked up her brush, but noticed that the warm water fogged up the mirror so Octavia put her brush down and got a piece of cloth to wipe away the fog. When she picked up her brush again and looked into her reflection, she did not see herself.
The Earth pony she expected to see in the mirror was not there. Because in the mirror there wasn’t an earth pony, instead there stood a gray mare with beautiful eyes, dark gray mane, a glowing horn, and a pair of wings.
Octavia dropped the brush. She has a horn, a horn! With her trembling right hoof she reached up to touch her horn. A white spark flew out upon contact causing her grey wings to spread out and flap a couple of times. Her mind instinctively played Gold Sky’s last possibility of what he wanted in life, she had wings but there is no chance of her dancing in front of the full moon with her late beloved Gold Sky.
Octavia screamed.
*POOF* Celestia appeared next Octavia. “Octavia is there something wrong!? I heard you scream like somepony scared the living daylights out of you.”
Octavia pointed at the mirror. Celestia looked at the mirror and saw Octavia pointing back.
Celestia turned to Octavia. “Octavia, I only see you.”
Octavia butted Celestia aside to look at the mirror and sure enough just as Celestia said she can only see herself, her normal earth pony self that is. Octavia just sighed and passed a hoof through her hair, to make sure.
Celestia came over to lay wing over the gray mare. She guessed Octavia must be experiencing visions of Gold Sky and the pain of seeing him but not be able to touch him must of made her scream.
“Octavia, it will be alright I am right here by you. You’re still in pain, but whatever you saw don’t take it to heart because it will harm you emotionally. Look perhaps right now isn’t the time to ask you this, but would you like to join me for breakfast and discuss anything that is troubling you.” Celestia offered. She deeply desires to help Octavia because she doesn’t want to resort to carrying out Gold Sky’s request of purging all the memories of him from Octavia’s mind. To Celestia’s point of view to carry out Gold Sky’s request will be like abusing her power a bit, she knows Gold Sky wants the best for Octavia even if it means never being remembered by the mare he loved with all his heart.
Octavia felt her stomach rumble quietly behind her growing child. Every new day will be like this from now on. Waking up alone without a smile on her face, nopony to wish her a good day and nopony to come talk to whenever she had a bad day.
“I’m alright Celli. Thank you for teleporting here when I screamed, I must have remembered that moment when…” Octavia looked up at Celestia and swallowed. “The spear stabbed him when I had him in my arms.” Octavia shook her head to clear herself a bit before Celestia had the chance to say something. “Anyway breakfast yeah. I’m sure you’re hungry Celli, so let’s go eat.”
Both mares made their way to the dining room. To Octavia’s disappointment the dining room was not as she imagined it. She expected it to be full of grandeur decor, a long table with a flowing silk table cloth, a nice shiny gold chandelier hanging above, and tons of silverware. But instead she saw a rather medium size round table made of simple oak along with chairs also being made of the same wood, no golden chandelier, instead of a silk table cloth there were individual vinyl table mats, but at least there was silverware not much as she anticipated but two forks, one spoon and a knife is sufficient.
Both mares took their seats. A maid came in to ask Princess Celestia and Octavia what they wanted to eat. After Celestia told the maid what she wanted, she decided to take this time to telepathically tell her niece something. So while Octavia was telling the maid what she wanted, Celestia’s horn glowed.
“Cadance, please don’t came to the dining room. Take Shining Armor to uhh… to some random location he doesn’t know here in Canterlot despite living here many years but was too oblivious to notice it in the first place.”
“Tia, are you with somepony?” Cadance asked in a teasing voice which Celestia failed in noticing.
“Yes I am here with a friend…” Funny how when one speaks mind to mind it’s like speaking to somepony but without words coming through the mouth.
“OOOOH! Is he nice looking and where did meet him?”
“What?” Things are getting weird by the moment.
“You know what I’m talking about Tia, remember when I told you, that you should find a fine stallion so you can stop being lonely even though I doubt you ever lonely but I never seen you with a stallion before. So c’mon tell me who he is. AH! Is it Dr. WholookslikeCarameleventhoughhe’saUnicorn?”
“Cadance I am not with a stallion at the moment I’m with Octavia right now because something terr…” Cadance always gets carried away in trying to get answers.
“Wait a minute you’re with a mare? A mare did I hear you right? A mare…? Oh my, that is just wrong! Literally! That is just wrong!” Cadance voiced.
Octavia finished telling the maid what she wanted to eat and turned towards Celestia. However, she noticed that Celestia’s horn is glowing and her nose is scrunched up likes she’s upset. Octavia figured that Celestia must be using her telepathy so she waited.
“Cadance this isn’t what you think it is all right. I am simply having breakfast with Octavia because…”
“Because you want to bed her, right… you want to bed a married mare. I forgot her husband’s name. Oh yeah, I, just remembered that I never met him before. But a mare? I should be feeling sick right now but I wouldn’t blame you that you’re into mares instead of stallions.”
Celestia started to get angry at Cadance’s out of place assumptions. “What the bloody hell are you talking about!!? I am not going to bed Octavia and I am not into mares or anypony for that matter. Ok you know want, I’m just ending this stupid frenzy right now. Good day to you Candance and don’t come to the dining room is that clear young mare!”
But Cadance will have the last laugh because after all she is connected to Celestia’s and Luna’s mind, which allows her to feel what emotions are going through Luna's and Celestia's mind. On a downside she is also able to see what they're seeing. But the downside only applies to the fact that Cadance can see what they’re doing and not align itself that Cadance doesn’t feel bad for being able to do this. She is the youngest of the three and still has the mindset of a teenager barely entering adulthood, but who could blame her for acting the way she acted. She saved Equestria from that giant bug queen and knows full well her responsibilities.
“Then please explain me why you felt so warm when Octavia kissed you.”
Octavia saw Celestia’s face turning red and a hoof reaching up to her lips.
“I…I, um, that is none of your concern Cadance. What I felt is only between my heart and my mind. Remember I gave up love after he died, came back, and went back to the heavenly paradise. I learned to let go.” Celestia seriously voiced.
“All right if you say so Tia, but remember I know what you felt and denial can only go so far. Ta-ta.” With that final word Candance left to take Shining Armor to some place in Canterlot he never knew about despite living there all his life.
Celestia didn’t like the fact that Cadance the youngest of the pure Alicorn trinity taught her a life lesson.
“Love is a luxury I gave up.” Celestia said to herself.
“OH! Octavia I’m sorry I didn’t realize I was being rude I’m so sorry!”
Octavia smiled weakly at Celestia. “It’s alright Celli, it must have been important royal duties that kept you busy for the moment.”
Celestia started to rub the back of her head with her left hoof while also breaking eye contact with Octavia.
“Yes, royal duties…very important.” She lied.
Denial or Sympathy.
***
The clock said eight AM. Such an early time for Cloudsdale greatest flyer to wake up to, but there’s always a first time to everything. Rainbow Dash woke up with a disciplined mind that flowed into a heavy heart. Today she will break the news of Gold Sky’s death to Rarity. Rainbow Dash can only think of Rarity’s reaction. She remembered the day when Rarity asked Gold Sky if he wanted to be part of her family so he can have a sister and somepony to be there for him.
Rainbow took a quick shower to make herself look dash. Stepping out of the room, she saw from the corner of her right eye Luna snoring soundly on top of a chair. Rainbow went over to Luna’s side and carefully nuzzled her.
“I will be back my love. I forgive you, I love you Luna. I love you.” Rainbow whispered. “Oh tickles!” Luna’s ear flickered which tickled Rainbow’s nose.
Rainbow Dash flew from Canterlot. She headed to Rarity’s boutique, upon arrival she knocked. But after thirty seconds of no response Rainbow slammed a hoof on the ground.
“Great she’s not home! Wait! Maybe she’s at Twilight’s place.” The cyan Pegasus trotted to the library.
“There you go! This band aid should help soothe your bump Twilight.” Fluttershy conveyed in her default cute alias.
“Thanks Fluttershy. That’s very kind of you.” Twilight tried to get up but Fluttershy pushed her back down.
“Not yet Twilight.” Fluttershy sat down on her rump in front of Twilight. She placed a hoof under Twilight’s chin and lifted it up so Twilight’s eyes can look into hers.
“Don’t tell me thank you, when you can thank me like this.” Fluttershy closed her eyes and started to close the gap between her lips and those of Twilight’s.
“Not again!” Twilight thought.
*Knocking*
“Huh?” Fluttershy stopped and looked at the door. “Who could that be?”
Twilight let out a sigh of relief. “I’ll check it!” Twilight zoomed off as soon as those words left her mouth.
“Ah, good morning Rainbow Dash! Are you here to check out some Daring Doo books? Because some new books just arrived.” Twilight asked hoping that Rainbow Dash will say yes and stay in the library which will in turn act as a buffer to Fluttershy’s twisted love.
Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened with joy. “YES, YES! Err…I mean uh maybe next time. I just came here to ask you if you know where Rarity is because she isn’t there at her boutique, there is something of grave importance that she needs to know.” Rainbow’s ears dropped.
Twilight tilted her head at hearing Rainbow’s voice turn from joyful to sad deliverance. “What is it you want to tell her Rainbow? I’ll more than happy to relay whatever message you have for her, unless it’s private a matter.”
Fluttershy meanwhile hid in Twilight’s bathroom. She for one didn’t want Rainbow Dash to spot her here in the library, of course on Twilight’s account she didn’t worry about because she has Twilight in her tight grip. “Oh that’s a nice black cloak, wander why it’s just laying in the tub though.” Fluttershy thought.
Rainbow Dash decided its best that Rarity hears the news from a fellow Unicorn. “All right I’ll tell you, but may I come in first?”
“Of course Rainbow.” Twilight opened the door wide for the cyan pegasus.
Rainbow walked inside and after hearing the door closing she faced Twilight. “Twilight you know Gold Sky, right?”
“Yes I know him, why do you ask?”
Rainbow sighed. “Somepony attacked Octavia causing him to rush to where she was to protect her. But he became something different prompting Luna to dispatch the best of her Elite Commando guard.”
"Oh NO! Please don’t say what I think you’re going to say!” Twilight’s fear crawled into her mind.
“The Elite Commando guard killed him, also…Gold Sky never knew that Octavia is pregnant. He’s dead and Octavia, will just live forever without him.”
“No! That wasn’t supposed to happen! The Elite Commando guard was supposed to subdue him! This was never part of the plan and now his child will be fatherless. Oh my Celestia, how did this get so out of hoof?” The consequences of her actions made her feel responsible for Gold Sky’s death.
“I-I, he’s dead?” Twilight had to play along so Rainbow wouldn’t suspect anything.
“Yes Twilight, please don’t be sad when you tell Rarity. It will only make it worse on her, knowing that her brother is dead. Thank you, Twilight I’ll be leaving now.” With that Rainbow Dash flew out of the library and went to her home in Cloudsdale to pick up Tank so she can bring him to the palace.
Twilight slammed a hoof on the ground. “FRAK! THAT WASN’T SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN! MY PLAN WAS FLAWLESS! FRAK!! FRAK!” Even the Black Rose agreed with Twilight, all it wants is Rarity’s beauty not collateral damage.
Fluttershy came out of the bathroom. “So Twilight what was that all about?” She asked since Twilight was screaming her head off.
Twilight snorted out a long stream of breath.
“We’re going somewhere Fluttershy. Come let’s go for a walk.” Twilight’s horn glowed in getting her saddle bags, a book about forensics, magnifying glass, microscope with slides, tweezers, a fine brush, zip lock bags, and a rose.
“yay! Where are we going Twilight?” Fluttershy asked gleefully.
“To a friend’s house…let’s go.” Twilight and Fluttershy cantered out of the library.
“The sparkling cpot on the floor marks where I should lay the rose. How else can they kill an immortal.”
***
In the dining room of the palace Celestia ate while Octavia just stared at her plate.
“What’s wrong Octavia?” Asked the white mare.
“Today, I was supposed to wake up to the smell of Gold Sky cooking breakfast. We take turns cooking breakfast.”
Celestia placed her fork down, pushed her plate away, and used her magic to move Octavia.
“Octavia, talk to me. Please talk to me; I want to help you just like I tried to help Gold Sky come to his senses. Talk to me because if you keep your emotions bottled up it will scar you deeply.”
Octavia nodded at Celestia and opened up. “I know you’re only trying to help me Celli and I deeply appreciate your deep sympathy but this I must face alone. Do not take this the wrong way but Gold Sky was not your husband, he was mine he gave me his heart. His love and his life. You don’t know how I feel, I want him back I just want him back. But there’s nothing left of him besides a feather from his wing. Can’t even give him a proper burial. But more importantly I’m going to be a mother... a single parent like my father."
"I only want to help you Octavia and I will understand if you don't want my help. Gold Sky loved you that I know. He wants the best for you Oct..." Celestia couldn't finish.
"And he asked you to purge my mind of every memory I have of him. So I can move on and fall in love with somepony else."
Celestia became alarmed. "How did you know that!!"
Octavia blinked several times before answering. "I know my Gold Sky very well Celli, he always thought what if the worst is to happen to him and take him away from me. I knew of his many contingency plans he created for me, so I can be happy if he's to ever die. He asked you to carry out the deed which will explain why you are very watchful of my emotional condition. So I ask you now, is it the right thing to do? Do you me to fall in love with somepony else and tell Tavi that my new husband is her biological father? You want me to lie my daughter like that? Do you want me not be sad when Rarity is mourning his death? But, Celli do you honestly think that I, will let you carry out the deed?"
Celestia's morality started to voice its say in her mind, Octavia has a point saying that it isn't the right thing to do and lying to her future child. Octavia doesn't want her mind purged of her memories she has of Gold Sky, but Gold Sky asked her to purge Octavia's mind so Octavia can move on. The Pros and Cons of the subject matter are too important to ignore.
"You're right Octavia. It's not the right thing to do, I-I will not purge your mind." Celestia felt some ease wash over her.
"Thank you, Celli." Octavia said.
Octavia took hold of her fork and started to eat her breakfast. Celestia softly smiled. At least for the moment some progress has been made. Octavia is eating, but of course that could because of the hormonal changes occurring inside her body, which puzzled Celestia. Gold Sky has a very high sense of smell so how can he not smell Octavia's hormonal change. Nevertheless ignorance will be bliss on that topic.
A fork fell to the floor creating a metallic echo in the dining room.
Tears started to fall from Octavia's beautiful grayish purple eyes...progress made, progress undone.
"What will I say to Tavi when Father's day comes around? She will ask me where is her daddy and what will I tell her!" Octavia started to cry.
Celestia got close to Octavia.
"No! Octavia don't do this to yourself! You were making great progress, don't do this!"
"How can I not think about that! Tell me! What will I say. She will see all her other classmates talk about their dads being so awesome and loving. When her turn comes she will say that she has no daddy and Ms. Cheerilee will ask her why and she'll will just shrug. That is when she'll come home to ask me why she has no daddy and I will have to tell her that he was killed. Or if that situation never happened. There's Hearts and Hooves day! I have no special somepony and Tavi will ask me why! She will find my photo albums and ask me who is that stallion always next me, hugging me, kissing me, and smiling at me. WHAT WILL I DO!!? Every child needs a daddy...just like I need Gold Sky. My heart fells so empty without him. How can I live with my child and wait until its the right time to tell her why her daddy isn't around. Because as I wait until she's gets older to find the right time, she will take his absence the wrong way and grow up to resent Gold Sky because she will think that he left me and her. I wish things can go back to normal!" Octavia covered her face with her hooves.
Celestia automatically placed a wing over Octavia. "Octavia, things will never come back to normal I..." Celestia saw Luna coming in. Celestia quickly waved a hoof at Luna while making a desperate face.
"Oh." Mouthed Luna. She pointed at the door and showed herself out. "Just when I wanted to make amends."
"You must move on."
"But I don't want to move on Celli! I want him back, is that too much to ask for." Octavia cried.
"Things happen for a reason Octavia, everything that happens is through the Great Spirit's hands. If he didn't want Gold Sky to die he would of stopped his death from happening. But every event that happens has a purpose and we cannot question purpose, we can't. But Gold Sky will always be with you no matter what. You will feel his love radiating down upon you, his heart beats within you. As long as you keep your memories of him Gold Sky is with you. You can't see him but you will feel him . He is with us and he will guideTavi just like you will guide her with morals and pure values."
Octavia wiped a tear away from her face, Princess Celestia's wisdom will comfort her just like a mother will do for her child. Octavia now started to see Celestia as the mother she never had.
"Celli..." Octavia moved closer to Celestia.
"Yes, Octavia."
"Thank you. Thank you for being so loving and caring. I'm sorry for trying to reject your help, please forgive me Celli. Thank you so much, I love you Celli. I love you very much."
Celestia smiled at Octavia, took her into a tight embrace and wrapped her wings around her.
"I will always be here for Octavia... I love you, too."
Both mares hugged each other.
Celestia started to feel that warm feeling Cadance mentioned earlier once again.
***
At a coffee shop in Canterlot, Princess Cadance and Shining Armor were enjoying breakfast.
"Wow, I never knew this place was here!" Thought Shining Armor.
The coffee shop was located next to Cadance's and Shining Armor's home.
During the time they ate breakfast Candance kept giggling on and on, like a little filly who was just told a funny secret and can't help herself.
"You look like you have a terrible case of the giggles Cadance." Said Shining Armor.
Cadance only nodded.
"Mind telling me?"
Princess Cadance took a deep breath so she can control her giggling. "Earlier, I, had a quick conversation with Tia because she told me not to come to the dining room."
"Why?"
"She had a guest."
"Oh." Replied Shining Armor.
"Anyway...well to make it short I acted like a little devil and she took my words to heart. Hahahaha!" Cadance fell off her chair and started rolling on the floor laughing.
"S-s-she believed what I-I said!! I'm such a little devil!"
Shining Armor just shrugged his shoulders and pretended he knew what Cadance was talking about.
---
Chapter. 30-
"Luna, you can say you're sorry by taking me to Sweet Apple acres."
"Of course, Octavia."
Twilight's magic levitated the sparkling spearhead.
"Blood from the heart, is the purest blood. I should be able to extract perfect DNA."
