Mediocronomicon

by NorrisThePony


A Resurgence of Harmony

A tiny sparkle of magic, a blink of arcane light, and out of the darkness burst forth the little blue marble in space that was home.

Or so history said. Frankly, Kicheko was quite tired of trusting what those tattered, charred old books had to say about some better times long before. They were beautiful tales, and she found great entertainment in reading about the heroes of the past and of some age long past. An age of harmony and peace and wellness...not that any of those things were in short supply in Equestria. No, Equestria was a fairly fine place to be. It just wasn't what Kicheko would have called home.

Then again, she did not know much about home to begin with. Equestria technically wasn't even hers, if the word of the ponies there were to be believed. Personally, she thought that having spent the entirety of her life there should at least have qualified her as a resident, but apparently her black and white stripes meant she could never be called such.

Forever seen as an outsider, yet never maliciously so. With intrigue she was often approached in by ponies or griffons or reindeer in filthy taverns, with their eyes wide like schoolfillies, eager to hear whatever it was Kicheko had to say about her homeland.

In truth, she had never set foot beyond Equestria and its immediately surrounding areas, and certainly not oversea to where her kind resided. With her own eyes, she had seen as much of her home as the curious spectators.

Instead, Kicheko found “home” in history books. It was a magnificent place of bustling jungles or sprawling grasslands, although it looked much less impressive rendered across pages salvaged from some mad blaze or vicious sandstorm. The words were sometimes legible, although like the pronunciation of her own name (which she told ponies was something like Keyche-coh), they were in a language she could only make a vague attempt at understanding.

Still, bits and pieces she remembered, whether through instinct or actual memories she knew not. Speaking in rhyme came naturally, she couldn't remember a time when she hadn't done so. If her first word was mommy, then her second surely would have been tsunami. Of this, Kicheko had little doubt.

Not that it would have been "mommy." The very thought of something so absurd made her smile and give a little chuckle out loud.

Other than the pouring rain and the sound of a small stampede of four sets of hooves and one set of talons ringing out against the vaguely cobblestone street, Kicheko's brief laughter was the only sound. The streets of Griffonstone—normally busy in the early morning light—were abandoned in the aggressive rain, and the diverse group of five was the only sign of life besides the rushing water. As such, the other four heard her clearly.

Yet her laughter was hardly a rare sound. It wasn't as though she were Princess Skyla, after all. If she were that grumpy unicorn, perhaps it would have been.

As if sensing Kicheko's jokingly accusing thoughts about her, and connecting her abrupt chuckle to those thoughts, Princess Skyla the Fifth rose her voice to break the silent journey.

"Willow, I must ask for the sake of the zebra's sanity...do you know where we're going? Are we almost there?"

"Aw, come on, Sky! We talked about this!" the old reindeer said, after heaving a long and exaggerated groan. "We have names. Out here, you're as...ah...lowly, as us."

"Oh, I don't really care," Kicheko assured, wearing the same grin she was rarely seen without. "I actually kinda like the dramatic flare."

"I intended nothing of the sort!" Skyla said, her defensive voice lashing out like a whip, striking down Kicheko's intended joke in an instant and flinging in it's place an awkward silence. "Unless her eternally unfunny anecdotes and puns can be counted as jokes, it isn't like the irritating rhymes that leave her mouth could be called anything beyond nonsense! As such, I see no reason to provide a name to so un-notable of a pony."

"Oh, and you're so notable yourself?" a gruff voice said in harsh response. Skyla tensed at it's sound...Little Wolf wasn't exactly a small creature; even as far as young bison cows went she was quite large, and her size was devoted almost solely to muscle. Little Wolf was hardly a creature worthy of her name, and even Skyla should have known better than to offer some derogatory comment towards her.

Still, she proceeded to anyways.

“I would think being heir to the Crystal Kingdom and carrying the blood of the great Princess Mi Amore Cadenza herself would qualify me as notable, yes. Particularly in comparison to a runaway bison filly or orphaned zebra lunatic.”

Little Wolf let out a sharp blast of air from her nostrils, and if it were not for Willow's prompt interjection she very well might have tackled the unicorn right then and there in the middle of the wide Griffonstone street.

"Would you three cut it out?" the old reindeer barked, finally ceasing his pace forwards to glare at the bickering unicorn and buffalo, and the zebra doing her best not to smirk and instead appear stoic and emotionless. "Seriously, lighten up, all of you. Be more like Fishcake."

The griffon in question shuffled awkwardly at the mention of his name, his walk slowing even further despite already being some ways behind the rest of them. He made an attempt at a grin—a forced affair on his nervous face—and said nothing. Even upon returning to his homeland after years on the road, the griffon seemed to shy to speak a word. Kicheko had never seen a more modest creature in all her days. She remembered even being intimidated by the speechless griffon, back when he had been traveling alone with Little Wolf and the young bison cow had met Kicheko in some dilapidated tavern in Old Canterlot.

Kicheko did not know if Fishcake was unable to speak, or unwilling to, but she had never seen reason to ask. Despite his large, intimidating appearance, with his sharp talons and beak, Fishcake was the kindest creature she had ever seen. The subtle little grins he responded to her jokes with had as much volume as roaring laughter. Sometimes Kicheko would talk for hours to Fishcake once the others had gone to sleep, telling humorous anecdotes of her travels before they had met or posing some philosophical debate she always promptly pursued alone. The griffon never answered, but he listened intently, delivering his responses through quick nods and shakes of his head, or tiny smiles or frowns.

By contrast, Little Wolf was loud, confrontational, and incredibly defensive; of both herself and her friends. Kicheko was quite comfortable traveling into the shadiest alleyways of Old Canterlot so long as Little Wolf was with her, for not many creatures were foolish enough to pick fights with a buffalo thrice their weight.

As for Willow and Skyla...they were more or less the level-headed response to their quirky behavior. Kicheko couldn't even remember the circumstances in which they had met, but she could not seem to wrap her head around how an aggressive bison, an immature zebra, and mute griffon had lasted three minutes in each other's presence, let alone across the sprawling wildernesses between settlements.

“Princess Prissy is right about one thing at least,” Little Wolf grumbled. Skyla bristled with fury at the nickname, but kept silent. “Where is this place?”

“I dunno. This city is a damn maze, I swear...” Willow responded distractingly, as though wondering the same thing himself. He had abandoned his map when the rain had begun falling, but whipped it out once more to regard the smudged lines with growing irritation. “Fishcake? Are we going the right way?”

Five sets of eyes turned to look at the griffon, who shirked a little at the sudden attention but shook his head sadly. He then brushed past the frustrated reindeer and led the way into a dark alleyway. The others warily followed, the sounds of their hooves and the rain instantly spiking in intensity as they reverberated against the narrowly apart stone walls.

Eventually the alley turned at a sharp right angle, and opened to a large clearing, four stone walls encasing a patch of grass in the middle of the shabby jungle that was Griffonstone. Torches encased in glass sconces lit the building before them, the tavern they had come looking for.

“He should be in here,” Willow was the first to break the silent reverie they had fallen into. After traveling so far, the decrepit building in front of them was like the gates to paradise. “Everyone, listen up. We can't blow this, alright? Little Wolf, try not to get into a fight. Sky, don't start calling ponies 'peasants.' Kiche...”

He paused, swamped for what exactly it was that Kicheko did that would be unwelcome in Griffonstone.

“Just don't do anything,” he said eventually. “At all.”

“I don't really comprehend how I would offend,” Kicheko replied earnestly. “Is a little humour from time to time such a terrible, unforgivable crime?”

“Amongst griffons? I don't wanna take chances,” Willow said firmly. “It's not often King Godric agrees to meeting with a bunch of strangers, and he's the best bet we have for getting some answers. So we can't mess this up.”

Princess Skyla muttered something under her breath, Kicheko catching only enough to know it was hardly anything positive or uplifting. To call Skyla skeptical of the entire purpose of their journey was a...vast understatement. Kicheko sometimes wondered how a pony with as rich a heritage as she claimed could be so void of hope.

King Godric frequented the Lion's Den Tavern, and through letters Willow had actually managed to arrange a brief meeting with him. As far as griffon kings went, King Godric was quite well liked by his people and the rest of Equestria, and his willingness to confer with a group of traveling vagrant nobodies quite proved this.

Of course, the political situation in the Griffon Kingdom as delicate as it was, the more logical part of Kicheko knew that this meeting was simply a means to bolster his own public view, for declining five minutes of his time to such a tiny group who had traveled so far would hardly portray him in any positive light. But now, the rest of the Griffon Kingdom would be praising the King for managing to fit these nobodies into his busy life.

But Kicheko did not quite like this view nearly as much, and she felt perfectly content believing that, like them, King Godric truly believed that the Element of Friendship was real and they would one day find it.

“Well, are we going to go ahead?” Kicheko asked, for they seemed content staring straight ahead at the entrance to the tavern, watching the vague shapes of movement from beyond the painted glass windows. “Or just stand out in the rain instead?”

“Seriously,” Little Wolf agreed, taking the first step forwards, finally reaching the door and pushing it fearlessly open.

Silence fell the moment the door was opened and the five of them walked inside. A griffon had been playing a decrepit piano missing many of its keys, but he stopped the moment the door opened and the heavy bison strode her way inside, followed closely by the rest. Every griffon within ceased their conversation to regard the newcomers, the strange and diverse group of various creatures that many of them had not even seen before.

Thankfully, Kicheko noted, their looks seemed to be curious instead of malicious. Despite being the one to force them into movement, Kicheko was quite afraid. She had heard horror stories of griffons in the past who in their desperation during the times of despair several decades ago, had become content consuming flesh in order to stay alive. They were half-lion, after all, but considering Fishcake had been the only griffon she had actually known prior to entering Griffonstone, this had hardly registered in Kicheko's mind.

The five made their way towards the bar, but the griffon glancing warily at them from behind stopped them in an instant when his eyes widened in realization and his voice quickly rang out as sharp as a blade.

“Not her,” he said firmly, narrowing his eyes. “Her kind isn't welcome here.”

Several agreeing murmurs resounded from the tavern's residents. Kicheko instantly thought of herself, wondering what exactly zebras had done to warrant such discrimination, but following the gazes of the griffons she quickly realized she was not the target of their fury.

“Princess Skyla...” Willow turned around slowly and sadly. Kicheko wasn't sure if he had followed the griffon's eyes as she had, or if he already knew from experience how unicorns were seen under griffon eyes. She decided the latter was just as likely an option. “Would you...can you wait outside? We...we don't want any trouble here.”

Skyla looked mortified, and more offended then Kicheko had ever seen her over the past two years they had been traveling together, but she knew as well as Willow that if she refused then they would all be forced out. With an indignant huff, she whipped around and stormed back out into the rainy alleyway, using her magic to fling the heavy wooden door open as harshly as she could manage.

Kicheko looked at the wooden door for only several seconds, before turning around to follow Skyla outside. Willow whispered a quiet thanks to her, and the griffons in the tavern all seemed to settle down significantly now that Skyla was gone.

Kicheko sighed heavily, recalling her excitement upon reading the letter from King Godric confirming that he would be happy to meet them, but quickly decided that her friend was more important and that Willow and Little Wolf could tell her about it later anyways.

The moment the wooden door was opened and the zebra trotted out, Skyla whipped around, and seeing who had left after her, snorted in derision and turned back to look at the alley where she had come.

“Of all the ponies...” Skyla mumbled under her breath. Kicheko chose to pretend she hadn't spoken, and Skyla caught herself and sighed heavily. “Kicheko, what are you doing out here?”

“Just didn't want to ditch you. I can go inside if you want me to...”

Skyla was silent for several moments, looking from Kicheko to the lonely alley. She let out a long breath from her nose and eventually sat down onto the rain street. Kicheko knew that Skyla did not necessarily like her—she was quite vocal of her irritation towards her—but it would seem that even she was a better alternative than being left completely alone in the rainy back alleys of a town in which she was not welcomed.

“It's fine, Kicheko,” she muttered eventually.

Kicheko sat down, too, and neither of them spoke. For several uninterrupted minutes they simply sat in silence. It had been raining since they had arrived in Griffonstone a day prior, but they had spent the majority of that day inside, mulling over maps and charts of the lost Crystal Empire. If the information King Godric provided them proved insufficient, it would be their next destination, but certainly not one any of them were excited for. The Frozen North's name was no fluke of nature, and not many ponies returned from their final treks into the arctic reaches of Equestria.

Skyla claimed with certainty that there was a lost kingdom there. It was one of the few bits of mythology she actually saw merit in believing, but Kicheko knew this was more or less because she did not want to admit that her own genealogy was indeed worthless. She had no doubt that Skyla was the extremely distant relative of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but the hundreds of years between the generations had rendered that relationship notable in concept alone. Skyla called herself a Princess and believed she should be treated as such, but she had nothing to rule over and nopony who bowed upon seeing her.

The thought made Kicheko sad. Skyla's parents must have been so proud of her, and they had raised her to truly believe that she was destined for great things. By contrast, Kicheko had never had to bear the responsibility of disappointing her parents, and she never feared the despair such a terrible prospect would bring about. Her earliest memories dated back to some orphanage in Old Canterlot, and unlike the tales she read in tattered storybooks she thought that her childhood there was quite nice.

One of such had always been Kicheko's favorite, though, and it was no tale of woe and sadness but instead of bravery. Six friends, each with personalities and abilities so distinct. The Elements of Harmony. Of course, Willow, Little Wolf, Fishcake, and even Skyla knew that tale well, too. Much of Equestria knew about the elements of Kindness, Generosity, Loyalty, Magic, Honesty, and Laughter.

As a young child, Kicheko tried her best to be the final one. Nothing brought her more joy than seeing that joy in the faces of others. And her friends in the orphanage had loved her rhyming dialect, every sentence she spoke was playful and every paragraph a limerick.

The Elements of Harmony were dead, according to Equestria's scholars, but the public view hardly agreed.

“Do you actually think they're out there?” Skyla asked, breaking through Kicheko's thoughts with her eerily relevant question. “Like, actually believe?”

“Indeed I do. Why...don't you?”

“No. Magical stones, powered by a pony's personality? Too much of a fairytale. I'm above believing in fairytales.”

Kicheko was silent. She wondered herself why being above believing in fairytales should ever be boasted as a good thing. To her, it seemed like it would be the greatest tragedy. Fairytales were hopeful and happy. Why would anyone wish to see them as foolish, especially in so dark of a world?

It was to no surprise, however, that Kicheko received this answer. Skyla was the only unicorn Kicheko had ever met who placed absolutely no value in magic.

“I mean, it's a nice dream, I guess,” Skyla continued. “Sure, we all like to dream. But it's not reality. To think that some magic force of friendship is going to bring us all together is just stupid.”

“I don't see why,” Kicheko refuted, without anger. “Besides, why won't you at least try?”

“What's to try?” Skyla snapped, with sudden irritation. “What am I supposed to do? Point my horn at a dead field and expect a rainbow to burst out and flowers to spring up? Sorry, Kicheko, but I'm not delusional like you four are. I don't think I'm so embodiment of harmony.”

“But you have the blood of royalty! Don't you carry at least a bit of loyalty?”

“Just stop it, zebra!” Skyla barked. Kicheko was shocked to see her eyes watering. She had never known Skyla to be one who cried. “You know I'm nothing! You knew ever since you and Little Wolf met me in Canterlot! Blood of Cadence! What a joke!”

“Joking is my responsibility. You have magic as your ability!”

“Yeah, sure! I can levitate and slam doors without touching them!” Skyla was on her feet once more. Her shrill voice rung out into the silent night, bouncing across the stone walls and becoming a babbling audience of a thousand self-doubting Skylas. “I must be the long lost Element of Magic!”

“I don't see why it's untrue…you shouldn't doubt what you can do!”

“There are no Elements of Harmony, Kicheko. And we've come all this way, and you know what we're going to find out? There's no seventh Element of Friendship, either! There's no sudden solution! No unification of all the Elements into one final whole! Those tales about six heroes...they're just that! They're tales, reserved for silly, rhyming zebras who are too ignorant to doubt them!”

Once more the two fell into silence. Back in the tavern, the griffon had began playing the piano again, a boisterous, lively melody. From within, the sound of cheering griffons and joyous, drunken laughter could be heard.

“If don't believe of the Elements' final sacrifice, and you're content with this Equestria as your paradise...” Kicheko said cautiously. “Why do you share our quest? Sometimes you seem equally obsessed.”

“I could've left you peasants ages ago,” Skyla replied sharply. “You're thankful I haven't!”

“Yes! But you're not gone! You say you dislike us and yet you carry on!”

Skyla did not respond. Or rather, she did respond, but not with an answer to Kicheko's question.

“What's with the rhyming, zebra? Ever since I've met you it's ticked me off. Why do you do it?”

“I rhyme simply because traditionally, it's the zebra way. The same reason why you continue to stay.”

Skyla brought a hoof to her mane, straightening the soaked hair into a more presentable fashion. Then, she hung her head and laughed up at the rain, cackling like mad until streaks of tears joined the rain rushing down her face.

“Loyalty, now? First I'm Magic cause I'm a unicorn, now it's Loyalty! I swear, you're all so desperate for those damn Element stories to be true you say the stupidest things!” she hollered.

Kicheko laughed, too. Not because anything funny had been said, and not because of the strangeness of actually hearing the prissy unicorn actually, genuinely express her joy. Instead, she chuckled at the paradox behind Skyla's condemnation. She claimed herself to be so different from the figures of friendship in times past, so that the very idea of her being loyal was enough to send her into a mad swirl of joyous emotion.

And yet, there was no other reason for her to continue searching with them, searching for some magical sunrise that would bring forth new life for Equestria.

The Elements of Harmony. Perhaps, with the exception of the Element of Magic, they truly possessed them, as those brave ponies in her fairytales books had when they faced against the foes of the past; the tall black winged unicorn, or the freakish slithery beast with the mismatched appendages.

If this was true, it would still never be enough. It hadn't been, in the end, to save those heroes, and yet still Equestria had survived where they had not. There was something else, more than the Elements. And onwards they would continue searching, until they found it.

Honesty, Loyalty, Magic, Kindness, Generosity, and Laughter.

Together, it was friendship. And together, this friendship formed something else entirely.