Chapter 13
Chapter 13: Blueblood the Fink.
"Well that didn't work," said Blueblood, washing egg yolk off of him, "I told you I wasn't any good at cooking."
Fleur examined the cookbook.
"Well I don't think you were supposed to use a microwave spell on it."
"How else are you gonna hard-boil an egg?"
"Possibly by boiling it?" asked Fleur with a raised eyebrow, "But we can come back to that one. Why don't we move on to... hmmmm... Kickboxing?"
"I think we might be grasping at straws here Fleur. What does kickboxing have to do with my cutiemark?"
"Well... It was developed in the east and your cutiemark is a compass."
Blueblood gave her a very cynical glance.
"I don't even think we can call what we're grasping at straws by now. More like coffee stirrers."
"Well do YOU have any ideas?" asked Fleur.
Blueblood thought about it for a while.
"I have absolutely no idea what to try next. What am I any good at?"
"Perhaps you could try chaos?" came a voice.
Fleur and Blueblood whipped their heads around trying to find the source of the voice.
"Who's there?" asked Fleur.
"Tis I," said a creature as he appeared in front of the two.
The creature looked like a collage of different animal parts. He had a dog's paw, an eagle claw, a goat hoof and a lizard foot.
"W-w-who are you?" asked Blueblood, shrinking back, "W-W-W-WHAT are you?"
"Oh that's right Blueblood," said the creature, running it's paw and claw through Fleur's mane, "You never met me. You were too young. I met your father though."
"Get your claws off of me," said Fleur, smacking the creature.
"Fine," said the creature and proceeded to pet her with his paw till she slapped him again.
"M-m-m-my f-f-f-father?" stammered Blueblood.
"Yes," said the creature, "Nice fellow. Could have used a bit more chaos in his life though. But to answer your two previous questions, my name is Discord, Lord of Chaos and I am a draconequus."
"Do you want anything?" asked Fleur, glaring at him, "If so, what? If not then you can get lost. We have work to do."
"Oh yes," said Discord, ruffling Blueblood's mane, "Work finding ol' Bluey's talent. Him with his meaningless mark. His senseless symbol. His-"
"Your POINT?" interrupted Fleur.
"My point," said Discord angrily, placing Fleur in a giant perfume bottle, "Is that I know what your purpose is Blueblood. And I can show you it too."
"Leave me alone," said Blueblood, "and let Fleur out of the bottle!!"
"Not until you hear me out," said Discord, "And besides, she'll come out smelling fresh as flowers. I just wanted to know whether or not your tired of this? All the searching... that is surely to no avail? Because, I sure am."
Discord handed Blueblood an empty red and white striped box.
"I ran out of popcorn long ago and the plot is hardly... How should I say, Gripping? I'd really just like this whole thing to be done and over with."
"What are you saying?" asked Blueblood, curious but cautious, "That you could tell me what my cutiemark means?"
"No, no, no," said Discord, shaking his head till it fell off. He picked it up off the ground and spun it back onto his shoulders with a click, "But I could give you a new one! A better one! What have you always wanted to do? Oh, I've got it! How about cotton candy cloud production?"
A pink rain cloud hovered over Blueblood's head, drenching him with chocolate milk.
"I'm a unicorn. I can't walk on clouds."
"Come on Bluey," said Discord, shaking his head, "Consider the source."
He clapped his paw and claw together and a t-shirt appeared on Blueblood with a picture of a smiling Discord on it with the caption, 'What fun is there in making sense?'
"I don't want some creepy, crazy, chaos-y cutiemark," said Blueblood, removing the shirt, "I want to understand my REAL cutiemark. Are you sure you don't know what it means?"
"AND WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH CHAOS?!?!" exclaimed Discord, throwing his paw and claw into the air. He caught them as the plummeted earth-ward and regained his composure, along with his appendages.
"Even chaos has it's restraints," said Discord, "But if you consider my offer, I'll be at the castle tormenting your beloved aunt and her protege."
The cotton candy cloud followed Discord as he tap danced happily down the street singing something about, 'singing and dancing in the rain.'
Blueblood sighed until he remembered Fluer still stuck in the bottle behind him. He uncorked the bottle and lifted Fleur out with a levitation spell and placed her gently on the ground.
"I thought you didn't want anypony telling you what your talent was?" she asked.
"I didn't," said Blueblood, shaking his head and clearing his mind, "So why did I listen to Discord?"
"I see a bad moon rising," said Fleur as she looked up into the sky, thoroughly spooked.
Blueblood followed her gaze until his eyes locked on thousands of cotton candy clouds filling the sky, nearly blocking out the sun.
"Ahhhh!" said Fleur, sliding into a nearby lamppost on the newly created dish soap roads.
Blueblood helped his friend up.
"This is not good. Fleur, you go home and stay indoors with your family," said Blueblood, "I'm going to the castle to find out what's going on."
"Be safe," said Fleur, hugging him before she made off for her family's estate.
Blueblood gulped and galloped towards the epicenter of the chaos, Canterlot Castle.
Blueblood tore into the Canterlot hallway to find his aunt pacing the floor restlessly.
"Auntie," said Blueblood.
"I know," said Celestia, "Discord has returned. I have no idea how he escaped from his stone prison but I expect my faithful student Twilight Sparkle to arrive at any moment with her friends."
"Why can't you just take care of him like you did last time?
Celestia gritted her teeth in anger.
"There is nothing I would like to do more than send him back to stone, but myself and Luna no longer hold the powers of the elements. They are bound to Twilight and her friends, and sadly the elements are the only thing that can stop Discord."
A low, threatening laugh resounded throughout the castle.
Celestia looked around frantically.
"He's here... somewhere."
"So what are we going to do till Twi-?"
"Shh," whispered Celestia, "The less he knows, the better. We have an advantage and I don't want to lose it."
"What are we gonna do in the mean time?"
"There is nothing to do but wait and hope that Discord doesn't do too much damage.n You should hide Blueblood. Go to Fancypant's house. You'll be safer there than at the castle. Discord will target me in particular, so you'll be safer farther away from me."
"But I want to help!" exclaimed Blueblood.
Celestia hugged him tight.
"There is nothing you can do. The best thing you can do is stay safe and away from Discord. There's no telling what he'll do to everypony."
"I don't want to leave you here... alone... with him."
"He's just annoying me. He wants to play with me and scare me. But he won't and he knows it. I won't put harming you past him though. So you see the best thing you can do for me is really to hide away."
Blueblood nodded and left the castle.
Celestia resumed her nervous pacing of the floor.
Blueblood left the castle and headed for Fancypant's house.
"My my, Celestia is sooo predictable," said Discord appearing next to Blueblood with a Celestia doll clenched in his claw. He flew along keeping pace with Blueblood while he waved the doll in the air and spoke in a high-pitched voice, "Blueblood go hide and stay safe. There's no telling what that monster will do to you. I'll stay behind and take care of the problem, you just get your worthless carcass as far away from me as possible."
"Be quiet," said Blueblood, rolling his eyes, "My aunt doesn't think that."
"How would you know," said Discord, throwing the doll over his shoulder and returning to his normal voice, "Can you read minds?"
"Can YOU?" Blueblood retorted.
"Not quite," said Discord, "Not your aunt's at least. But I've always been a good judge of character."
"What would you know about character?" said Blueblood, "You've got none of your own."
Discord snorted.
"I have plenty of character! Why just ask Lauren! But enough about me. I have known Celestia much longer than you have Bluey. Trust me when I say that she doesn't trust you nor think you're capable of lifting anything other than a champagne glass."
The largest champagne glass Blueblood had ever seen appeared in Discord's paw and he began to pump it like a weight.
"She trusts me," said Blueblood.
"Oh really?" asked Discord, dropping the glass and leaning in, "How do you know that?"
"I don't believe I need to give you any answer whatsoever," said Blueblood with a smirk.
He walked past Discord, who scowled for a moment until a lightbulb came on over his head.
Discord grabbed the lightbulb and inspected it.
"Hmmmm, I wonder how this lights up without being plugged into anything?"
The lightbulb lit up again.
"Of course!" said Discord, "That's it! I'm Discord! There is no explanation!"
He threw the lightbulb over his shoulder and followed Blueblood.
"You know Bluey, I'm really proud of you. I don't know if I could trust my aunt without any sort of guarantee. Part of the reason could be that my aunt tried to eat me when I was little but that's a story for another time. ANYWAY I was just saying that if I didn't know how MY aunt thought about me I wouldn't trust her so easily. If I'd have just trusted my aunt come to think of it, I'd be in her stomach right now! But I'm sure that YOUR aunt MUST be telling you the truth. After all, you're only the only prince ever who didn't understand his cutie mark and didn't really have a purpose. And she's just the supreme ruler of Equestria who could be really embarresed if ponies found out that her nephew didn't understand his calling in life... Oh well. C'est la vie."
Blueblood chewed his lip angrily.
"I cannot wait for Twilight and her friends to show up and beat him," he mumbled.
He turned his head to see Discord pointing a huge ear trumpet at Blueblood.
Blueblood immediately clamped a hoof over his mouth. But it was too late.
Discord happily shoved the ear trumpet into his ear and laughed.
"I knew I could get you to spill the beans if I only tried. Thank you so much Blueblood. Perhaps you should consider becoming a professional mole."
A fluffy burrowing mammal appeared in Blueblood's hooves.
"WHAT did I just do?" murmured Blueblood with wide eyes.
"YOU, my dear boy have just told me all that I need to know to take over Equestria!" said Discord happily. Turning over to a clone of himself he continued, "Tell him what he's won me!"
Exciting music started playing and the replica Discord picked up a microphone.
"Well myself," said the duplicate draconoquus, "He's won humiliation, the chance to be called a stool pigeon and a fink wherever he goes and the retribution of the most powerful pony in Equestia!"
"And I tell you what," said the original Discord, "I'll even let you keep that cute little mole in your hooves. I believe animals should be around their same species."
The mole growled at Blueblood and Blueblood dropped him, causing the angry little creature to vanish in a puff of smoke.
"And take my advice, after all I'm not using it," whispered Discord into Blueblood's ear, "I wouldn't try to get back on Celly's good side. She's a bit of a wrathful pony."
"Enjoy the rest of your day in the new Chaosville!" yelled Discord, happily skipping away to plan his offensive.
Blueblood stared down the road as chocolate rain began to fall. He had single-hoofedly cursed Equestria to a future of utter chaos.
He slowly walked to Fancypant's house, not knowing where else to go.
Lifting a hoof, he gave three sharp raps on the front door.
Fancypant's sweet maid answered to door.
"Prince Blueblood!" she exclaimed, "What can I do for you?"
"May I see Fleur de Lis please?"
"Yes come this way."
The mare led Blueblood up the flights of stairs into Fleur's room. The pink mare sat looking out the window at the havoc that was being wreaked on the city.
She turned at the sound of the opening door and saw Blueblood.
"Blueblood!" she exclaimed jumping up and hugging her bedraggled, wet friend, "Feather Duster will you please fetch Blueblood a towel so he may dry off?"
Feather Duster nodded and left.
"What happened?" asked Fleur, leading Blueblood back down the stairs and into the sitting room, "What's the Princess going to do?"
"I... I don't know," said Blueblood, accepting the towel that Feather passed him and began drying his coat.
"Are you alright?" asked Fleur, observing her friend, bury his muzzle into the towel.
She pulled the towel away and saw Blueblood's eyes starting to turn red and swell as tears streamed off his muzzle.
"Oh Fleur," he said, wiping his face with a hoof, "This is all my fault."
"Blueblood that's ridiculous," said Fleur, passing him a cup of tea that Feather Duster had brought, "How could any of this be your fault?"
"I told Discord my aunt's plan," said Blueblood, "I told him her plan!"
"What plan?" asked Fleur as her friend dissolved into sobs.
"She was going to get Twilight Sparkle and her friends to use the Elements of Harmony on Discord and turn him back to stone but now I've ruined all that!"
"How?" asked Fleur, raising Blueblood's head off of the towel and looking into his eyes.
"He wasn't supposed to know you see. They were gonna catch him off guard and defeat him but he tricked me into telling him. I've betrayed Equestria and my aunt!"
Blueblood shoved his face back into the towel and Fleur rubbed his mane.
"I'm sure they'll defeat Discord even if he knows," she offered.
"No. He'll probably do something to the elements that'll make them not work of he'll kill one of the mares or, oh I don't know! My aunt told me he couldn't know and that it was a secret and then I went and blabbed it to the enemy!"
"It was a mistake," said Fleur, "Discord tricked you. Don't you think you might be overreacting just the tiniest?"
"You just don't understand Fleur," said Blueblood, "These past few months have been the best ever. Ever since I returned from the rock farm I haven't felt any hatred or stuck-upedness and I've finally been able to spend time with my aunts again! But whenever I'm around Discord, I feel that horrible old self come back and fight for dominance. I don't want to be my old self and if Discord rules Equestria again, I'm afraid that I won't be able to fight that awful spirit in me anymore. And I've just betrayed my aunts, so how could they ever love me again?"
"Oh Blueblood," said Fleur, "Your aunts wouldn't be that unforgiving and heartless. They are the kindest ponies in all of Equestria. They don't hold grudges."
"How do you know?" asked Blueblood, "I've just doomed Equestria to eternal chaos. Would you forgive me?"
"First. You don't know it's eternal. They might still beat him. Second. If I wouldn't forgive you then why do you think I'm still here?"
Blueblood looked up into Fleur's loving eyes. Oddly enough, he suddenly saw Stormwing in those eyes.
"Thanks Fleur," he said, wiping his face again, "I really needed that."
Desperate to change the subject Blueblood continued, "My aunt wanted me to stay here until Discord is, might be, defeated. Is that alright?"
"Of course," said Fleur. She called out for Feather Duster to come.
"Yes Madam?"
"Would you please prepare Blueblood a room?"
"Of course."
"Thank you."
Fleur got up and poured herself and Blueblood a fresh cup of tea.
"By the way Blueblood," she said, "There's no ifs. They will defeat Discord."
"I always wondered how Discord found out about us," said Twilight, "So when did you return to the castle?"
"Not until you had defeated Discord," said Blueblood, "I was so worried that Auntie wouldn't forgive me. Fleur offered to come for moral support."
"Fleur sounds absolutely lovely!" said Rarity, "I simply MUST get to know her better!"
"I think you'd like each other," said Blueblood, "She's one of the most understanding ponies I've ever met."
Blueblood and Fleur walked nervously into the castle. As they made their way to the throne room, Blueblood glanced out the window and saw a stone creature in the garden. A shiver ran up his spine as he recognized Discord.
"This way," said Fleur, opening the door to the throne room.
Blueblood swallowed hard and entered the room with Fleur right behind him.
Celestia and Luna were addressing a small panel of newspaper ponies about Discord's return.
Celestia looked up and when her eyes locked with Blueblood's a smile spread from ear to ear.
She rose from the throne and left Luna to answer the badgerings of the reporters.
"Blueblood!" she exclaimed, wrapping her hooves around her nephew, "I'm so glad you're safe. Thank you for looking out for him Fleur."
Blueblood wriggled out of his aunt's grasp and stared her in the face.
"Aunt- Princess Celestia?" he started.
"Yes?" Celestia asked, surprised by his formality.
"I have something to tell you."
"Go on."
Blueblood looked at Fleur, who nodded.
"Discord, well I... I told him about Twilight and her friends."
"What? I'm sorry I didn't quite understand you."
"I said I told Discord about Twilight and her friends!" said Blueblood, "It was an accident and I'm very sorry. If you don't want to see me anymore I understand."
Blueblood stood with his eyes shut for a few terrifying moments until her felt Fleur nudge him.
Cracking one eye open, he saw Celestia staring at him with a half smile on her lips.
"I wanted to see how long you'd stand there."
She wrapped a hoof around him.
"Blueblood, it was a mistake. Discord tricked you and I'm not angry. Nopony was truly hurt and he's been defeated. I'm actually very proud of you that you had the courage to admit your mistake to me."
"You mean... you mean you aren't mad?"
"I'm just happy your okay."
"No comment about how you should have listened to me in the first place," said Fleur, poking Blueblood in the ribs.
Blueblood pulled her into the embrace and Luna shooed the reporters away and joined the group hug.
---Author's notes.
My computer is behaving all wonky and won't save the author's notes that I write so I'm putting them down here probably only for this chapter.
Cool thing to note. I got the idea of Blueblood blowing up an egg from the fact that my dad recently did the same exact thing. Truth is stranger than fiction!
Spring really hit me hard over the head. I have a lot more on my plate than before and I don't think I'll be able to stick to my previous writing schedule. I'll try to post every two weeks or at the most, three weeks. Thank you for understanding that I have to put my school and other engagements first. Stay tuned for the next, heart-stopping installment!