My Ex-coltfriend, Rolf

by Dr Atlas


Rolf goes now

“Quickly, where is your hay and apple cellar storage, farm mare?”

“Wh-what?” Applejack was having a hard time understanding what Rolf was saying, the pain in her back had finally hit her and she couldn’t move.

Rolf grabbed AJ by her shoulders and shook her. “The barn, cow mare! Where is it?” Rolf looked behind him to see that Fluttershy was starting to get up after getting a face full of fish that Rolf gave her. He was just thankful that he had a slapfish on him.

“W-where?” Applejack’s eyes were starting to wander around, as was her mind. Rolf had enough of this. He dove his head under her belly and hoisted her onto his back. He looked over at the crossbow that laid on the ground, knowing that was the least important thing to get to right now.

“We shall talk later!” Rolf put his back legs into it and started running away from the bat mare, who had now just spat the dead fish from her mouth. “I’m sure I can find it myself before-”

“And where do you think YoU’rE GoInG!” She yelled.
        
“Away from you, she who feeds off the flesh!” Yelled back, zipping past every tree and dodging every branch.

Despite what Rolf said about Fluttershy’s vision, she managed to dodge every tree as well. Before Rolf noticed it, she was just feet away from him. “You’re only DeLaYiNg ThE iNeViTaBlE!”

Rolf ignored every word and jumped out into a clearing, seeing a red building close by. “Ah HO! The housing of the hay!” Rearing his front legs, he made a mad dash for the doors, Fluttershy close on his tail.

Fluttershy was now inches away from sinking her teeth into him.“You’re going to be aLl Mi-”

*SLAM*

Rolf ran into the barn and slammed the doors shut. Making Fluttershy’s face smack right into the wood. Rolf then grabbed a nearby wooden plank and placed it in between the handles of the doors, making sure it wouldn’t open. “Try getting in now, bat mare!” Rolf yelled, knowing he and Applejack were safe here...for now.

Rolf then realized the mare was still on his back. He took a breath and lowered AJ to the floor. “Now let us see, what tools does Rolf still have at his disposal.” He looked around the barn not seeing much that could help, only seeing stacks of hay and a nearby workbench.

As he looked around, Applejack started fluttering her eyes open. “R-Rolf?” She groaned.

Rolf turned to her and smiled. “Ah, so the farm mare has finally decided to wake up, and here Rolf thought he would have to tell the magic one that her friend would end up like papa’s excess flaps.”

“Excess wah- You know what, forget it, just...help me up here, would ya?”

“Rolf suggests lying where she is, lest the farm mare would like to have a back sorer than Rolf’s after laying on a bed crafted by the bit pinching ed boy.”

Applejack didn't even want to ask. “C-Can you please give me a hoof or somethin’?”

“Very well, farm mare, but don’t tell Rolf he didn’t warn you about pain.” Rolf trotted over to her and wrapped his hooves around her torso, she flinched a bit, but didn’t feel too much pain, it was only when he started dragging her to a support beam that she felt the pain.

“Aaah...Do ya have to be so hard?” She asked as Rolf laid her against the wooden beam.

“Sorry, AJ, but Rolf-”

“No...no...It’s okay. I’m good.” AJ adjusted herself and continued, knowing she had to say this after what happened. “Rolf...I wanna...well, thank ya for...savin’ me back there...I-I really thought you would-”

“Leaving the apple seller is the last thing Rolf wants to happen.” Rolf sat in front of her. “For if he did, she’d be proving Rolf that she was right.”

“Right? About what?”

Rolf scooted closer. “AJ. Rolf knows he wasn’t the greatest pal for you that long ago, even Rolf was surprised to hear you say you wanted my help in all of this.”

Applejack shrugged. “There wasn’t really any other options, I was pretty much scrappin’ the barrel, to be honest.”

“And Rolf can understand why you feel angry at him. At first, he thought it was only because of the month of mares, but Rolf now understands it’s his fault.”

“Oh, please, Rolf, it’s not...well, It’s not...I’m just...” Applejack didn’t know how to say it, he was acting like a jerk, but she felt like she was acting the same way.

Rolf sighed. “Farm mare, Rolf remembers all too well what he said to his folks, about how your family isn’t the best, about how your cider isn’t that great, about how...uh…” Rolf would’ve gone on, but the look AJ was giving him made him stop. “B-But the point Rolf’s trying to make is that he’s...he’s sorry for the way he acted to the farm mare at the beginning.”

Applejack sighed. “And I guess ahm sorry for the way I acted too...i-it’s just that rememberin’ what you said-”

“Rolf promises he will never say anything hurtful toward the apple family, a shepherd's promise.”

“Thanks, Rolfie...but, can you promise somethin’ else, ya know, about shy and her condition.”

Rolf scratched the back of his neck, knowing what she was about to ask. “Rolf really had no idea you and the shy one were so close.”

“Me and her have been friends for a long time, Rolf, and I would never have anything bad happen to her, I mean, what if one of your family members was like this, what would you do?”

Normally, Rolf would say he’d not take a risk and stop them before it was too late, but he thought that wouldn’t be the right thing to say at a time like this. “Rolf would...most likely do what the farm mare is doing; stop the reckless stallion from trying to do the job the way he wants to.”

Applejack had to smile at that. She never thought she’d get him to say something like this, and, knowing that he did, he might actually help fix Fluttershy the way she wants to. “Glad you understand, Rolfie.”

Admittedly, Rolf still didn’t understand the relationship between the two mares, but he figured it was like his friends from the colt-de-sac, only a little bit closer. “Rolf does, and, once more, he apologizes for his actions against the fanged one, and promises not to harm her in anyway the next time he-”

*SMASH*

Both ponies looked up, seeing Fluttershy smash through the roof and landing right next to them, Applejack was the first to react by jumping and falling behind a bale of hay while Rolf backed right into a work bench, the contents of it falling on the floor.

“YoU’rE mInE!” The bat mare yelled, running right at Rolf.

Rolf yelped and reached for whatever would help him stop the mare, only to feel dirt and hay scattered on the floor. He thought he was hopeless until he reached behind him, feeling one of the tools that fell.

Knowing that he had a weapon, he grabbed it, closed his eyes, and held it right to his neck, making Fluttershy bite into it instead of him. After he heard a clank, he opened his eyes to see her mouth was on a wrench, only inches away from his face.. “Release Rolf’s tool of defence and repair, horrid creature!”

Fluttershy didn’t listen and instead pulled the wrench away from him. He gripped it even harder, but he found out that was a mistake when she used her full strength to throw him to the barn doors, flinging them open and making him land into the dirt outside. “I warned you! Now your DeAtH will be slow and PaInFuL!” She lunged right into the stallion, only to have the metal object in her mouth again.

Rolf tried his best to get her face and fangs as far away from his neck as possible, but the strength and weight bearing down on him was almost too much for him to handle. “Grh...G-Get off, you beast of the eternal night!”

As they struggled, Applejack managed to get on all fours and see what was going on outside. “Rolf!” She screamed as she started trotting out, only to fall on her stomach from the pain in her back.

Rolf turned to her and was about to yell out, but Fluttershy sat up and knocked the wrench out of his grip with her hoof, almost hitting Applejack.in the process. Rolf looked back up at her and helded his hooves up to her neck as she tried plunging her teeth into his own. “Grrah! Release Rolf!” He yelled, the mare’s fangs getting closer and closer.

Applejack didn’t know what to do. He only options were to try and get her off, but that would only lead to her death, her other option was to try and find help, but it didn’t look like Rolf could hold out for long. All she could do was watch

Rolf was starting to lose his strength with every second of thrashing this mare was doing. He turned to Applejack, knowing this was it, that not even the collar of his overcoat could protect him from those teeth, so. With no strength left, he let go and closed his eyes, prepared for-

*THUNK*

Rolf managed to open his eyes just in time to see an arrow going right through her, missing Applejack by mere inches and pinning the barn door. Fluttershy stood still with wide eyes for a few seconds before closing them and start collapsing right next to Rolf

“FLUTTERSHY!” Applejack screamed as she ran toward her, managing to catch her right before she fell on the ground. “Fluttershy, speak to me.”

Rolf slowly stood up and adjusted his sight, He leaned over to his left to see something he’d never thought possible. “Magic mare?”

Applejack looked up to see that Twilight was a few yards away, still aiming down the sight of a crossbow. “T-Twilight?” AJ stuttered.

Twilight lowered the crossbow, still trying to comprehend what she just did to her friend. “D-D-D...Did I...j-just…”

Rolf dusted his overcoat off and started panting. “Heugh...V-Very nice work, Purple mare, you managed to save Rolf’s life in a way he only thought Rolf himself would do.”

“B-But I...I-I thought that...that…” Twilight dropped the bow and ran up to her unconscious friend.

“I-I-Is she...she...y-ya know…” Applejack was afraid of the answer, but the more she looked at her friend, the more she noticed that she was in a strange state.

As the two mares looked at her, Rolf turned to the arrow that was pinned to the barn door, seeing it drop, not red liquid, but clear, glowing blue liquid that he could instantly recognize. He looked at Fluttershy again and rubbed his chin. “Hmmm...Sparkle, what did you put on Rolf’s arrow?”

Twilight looked up at him. “I-I thought that...t-that holy water would help...a-and when I saw the crossbow on the ground and seeing Fluttershy almost end your life...I-I didn’t know what else to do, I-I couldn’t just let somepony die by a friend’s hooves!”

Applejack then noticed something she should’ve seen from the start. “Uh...guys...now. I’m not one to ask about injuries, but...shouldn’t there be a wound or open hole right where she was shot?”

Rolf stood over Fluttershy, seeing that the arrow did pass right through her, but no damage was made, not even a scratch was on her. “It seems putting water on the arrow has done its trick, very smart thinking, she whose flank mark resembles the night sky.”

“Um...thanks?” Twilight continued inspecting Fluttershy, seeing that her wings were starting to turn back to normal and her cutie mark was back to butterflies. “I-It is working...I-I was right! Or...y-you were right, or...m-my plan worked!”

“Plan?” Applejack said with a tilt of her head. “What plan?”

Rolf turned Shy on her back, still seeing no damage. “Hmmmm…” he pulled out his pair of rubber gloves and put them over his hooves. He flipped her on her back again and opened her mouth wide enough for him to see her teeth, which were now all flat. “Seems the fanged one is no longer fanged.”

Twilight smiled. “I knew coating that arrow with that stuff would work! I-It had to work. I-It did work, right?”

Rolf knew what she meant and leaned his ear on her chest, hearing a beat he hadn’t heard from earlier. “It sounds as though that the shy one’s heart is working better than the sock headed Ed boy’s contraptions.”

AJ raised an eye. “So, she’s still kickin’.”

Rolf nodded. “The shy mare lives to fly another day, Rolf must admit, that was very clever thinking on your part, she who sparkles in the twilight.”

Twilight was starting to get sick of the way he was describing her. “Just call me Twilight.”

“B-But how did that work?” Applejack asked.

Rolf walked over to the crossbow and picked it up. “Well, papa’s crossbow has been known to travel at high speeds, though it’s not known for going through mares without a scratch on them, as for the water, it seems that it did it’s job just like nana said it would do.”

Applejack’s jaw dropped. “A-Are you sayin’ you could’ve cured her from the start with that water!? W-Why didn’t you just-”

“You didn’t ask Rolf to use the holy water on her. Rolf didn’t even remember that he brought it.”

Twilight nudged Applejack. “Be thankful it worked, AJ.”

“Ah am thankful.” Applejack pointed at him. “I just wish Rolf woulda told us his other methods of dealing with this besides tryin’ ta kill her.”

Rolf turned around to see that Victor was close by with his things. “Victor! Glad to see the fl- er, Twilight has brought you here unharmed.”

Twilight laughed nervously, knowing it was really hard to steer that goat. As for Applejack, she decided that now would be a good time to talk to him about all of this. “Look, Rolf...t-there’s some things that need sayin’.”

Rolf put the crossbow back in with the rest of the pile. “Do not worry, AJ. Rolf understands that you don’t need him in your life anymore, and Rolf couldn’t help but agree.”

“But Rolf, I don’t wanna….agree?” AJ cocked her head. “Wha’s that supposta mean?”

“Rolf know’s his job is done here, that the fanged one is de-fanged and that she is completely cured, so, your lives are ready to proceed to a new road now that he’s done.” Rolf chuckled. “and let’s just say that Rolf has his own life to look at as well, along with his marefriend.”

Even Twilight was surprised to hear that. “Wait, you have a marefriend?”

Rolf nodded as he patted Victor. “Yes, for she truly understands Rolf’s words, she even speaks the way Rolf speaks, and, no offence, but her hat’s better than the stetson you wear, AJ.”

“H-Hat?” Applejack was starting to put the pieces together. “W-Wait a sec, don’t tell me you’re-”

“Come, Victor! The mare full of power and greatness awaits us!” He turned around and started walking away, waving behind him. “Good bye, mares, may the shy one be blessed!”

As the son of a shepherd finally left, Applejack and Twilight decided to not even question it and help Fluttershy up. As she was hoisted on their backs, Applejack couldn’t hold her question anymore. “Hey...y-you don’t think?”

Twilight shook her head. “Nah, she wouldn’t go for a stallion like him.” She craned her head to Fluttershy, still seeing she was out cold. “We better bring her to your place while she rests, does that sound like a good idea? Applejack?”

Applejack didn’t listen, she only continued looking behind them, seeing the track Rolf left behind in the dirt, hoping he’d never-

“Applejack!”

“Wuh...h-huh...u-uh yeah, yeah, o-of course she can stay at mah place...n-no harm done.” She laughed it off, only for Twilight to raise an eye at her.

“You okay, AJ?”

Applejack sighed. “Ah will be once I get home, it’s been a crazy night, from old friends commin’ in to gettin’ mah back sore, ta seein’ mah friend turn back into a pony, ah think the only thing I need right now is what Shy right here is doin’ right now...nice rhyme, by the way.” She took one last look at where Rolf was and shook her head.

“What a stupid, crazy, lovable, strange son of a shepherd…”