Even though Celestia lay at ease on the most comfortable silks ponykind could craft, her mind was anything but at rest. These last weeks many things had weighed heavily on her mind, distracting her from the daily routines of rulership. Fortunately, millennia of practice enabled her to handle most situations with barely any need to engage with them. She had hoped, and was largely proven correct, that any distraction on her part would be interpreted as regal aloofness. Only those closest to her could have detected her unease; those like Luna or Twilight Sparkle.
She grimaced at the thought of her unfortunate student. Even though the prodigious unicorn couldn’t suspect any such thing, she had given Celestia a fair number of sleepless nights and bothersome monologues of late. The alicorn sighed and closed her eyes, figuring the darkness of her eyelids would be a better backdrop for her melancholic thoughts than the gratingly cheerful décor of her personal chambers. The moon tonight waxed full, she reflected. Legends said that a full moon revealed secrets and granted clarity and wisdom. If that was the case, why did everything seem painted in varying shades of murkiness?
In the skies bordering Ponyville an unassuming cloud was playing host to a prostrate pegasus with a many-colored mane. This was itself not unusual; no resident of the little town would be surprised to see a cloud with a bit of technicolor tail trailing from it. What was unusual was the modest puddle of moisture that pooled on the surface of that cloud, softly being added to by the wavering magenta eyes that gazed downwards, locked onto the reflection of the distant stars mirrored in the liquid surface. Try as she might to goad her mind onto another topic, her memory presented only the crystal-clear image of Twilight, pleading for her to stay, desperation writ clear in every inch of her. And the memory of how she had turned her back and fled.
On the hard wooden floor of Fluttershy’s cottage, a purple unicorn lay heedless of the discomfort of her body. With her head buried between forelegs , she clenched her eyes futilely against the burning tide of tears that cascaded forth to saturate her coat.
“What else did you expect, you enormous idiot?” the sobbing mare asked herself aloud, around what might have been a strangled laugh. “The egghead and the athlete; that only happens in sappy books. I should have known better.”
“Sister mine, art thou well?” inquired a voice from the gilded doorway to Celestia quarters.
Startled, the Princess of the Sun raised her head to acknowledge her sister and fellow Princess, Luna. “Yes, Luna, I am fine. I am merely . . . worried.”
“Perhaps thou shouldst confide thine worries in me. Mayhaps I can offer insight to ease thee.”
“Oh Luna, its about Twilight Sparkle,” Celestia admitted uneasily.
“I had expected little else to weigh so gravely on thine mind. Pray tell, what is the reason for your distress? Didst thou not save her from torment and certain death? Didst thou not reunite her with her beloved comrades? Didst thou not free her from a living nightmare? Sister, I fail to understand thine actions. You call her thine daughter-in-spirit. You saved her life and visited recompense to her captors. But now you avoid her. Why?”
“I didn’t save her, Luna. Not really. She’s a broken mare because of me. I saved her life, but not what she lived for. I saved her from torture only to live a fresh hell of having the core of her being stripped from her.”
Celestia’s voice had risen in volume an venom as she continued.
“Sister –“
Luna was interrupted by Celestia’s voice, now dripping self-condemnation. “Every bit of this Is my cursed fault. Twilight was targeted because of her closeness to me. She lost her magic and was horribly mutilated because I didn’t find her fast enough. She’s lost everything because of me. How dare I call myself her teacher? How dare I think of myself as a mother to her? I have no right to –“
“SISTER!” Luna exclaimed, the effects of the Royal Canterlot Voice breaking Celestia’s self-disparaging tirade. “Listen well, sister; thou couldst not have known this tragedy would unfold. Thou hast no right to hold thyself accountable. Thou didst everything in thine power to save her. Thou hast taught and instructed her for nearly her entire life and she regards you in the highest station. That entitles thou to call thyself her teacher. More importantly, you regard her as thine beloved daughter, and I believe she returns thine affection in full. This entitles thee to think of thyself as her mother-in-sprit.”
“Rainbow Dash, y’all better come down from that there cloud!” an extremely irritated Applejack called up to Rainbow Dash, whose cyan foreleg and bit of mane was all she could see protruding from the edge of a small cloud hovering oddly low in the sky.
When she received no answer, the earth pony’s face settled into a stern mask.
“Dash! Ah jus’ came from Fluttershy’s cottage. Ah know all about what happened between you and Twilight.”
The pegasus reluctantly peered over her sanctuary and called down, “AJ, I don’t really feel like talking right now.”
“Ya ain’t getting’ off that easy, Rainbow. Ya messed up poor Twilight something fierce. The least ya owe her is an apology and an explanation.”
Rainbow Dash flinched at the disappointment she heard in her friend’s voice, but it paled compared to how disappointed she was in herself.
Some Element of Loyalty, Dash.
Applejack sighed loudly. “Look, RD, I know it was probably real awkward and all and I know you ain’t the best at dealing with emotions and stuff. But still, ya could’a found a better way to let her down than running away. A simple ‘Sorry, Twi, I ain’t interested’ would’a done the job just fine.”
The pegasus muttered something to herself, its details carried away on the night breeze.
Applejack’s ears swiveled in an attempt to hear. “Come again, sugarcube? I didn’t quite catch that.”
Sighing in exasperation, Rainbow took to her wings and glided gently to a halt directly in front of the farmer pony.
“I said, I’m not sure I’m not interested.”
“So then, ya are interested in Twilight?”
Rainbow’s mane caught the shimmering reflection of moonlight as she hesitantly nodded assent.
“Then why’d you run away from her?” the orange coated mare demanded, baffled.
“Dammit, AJ, its complicated,” Rainbow Dash replied, irritated.
Stomping a hoof in annoyance, Applejack retorted, “Then make me understand, sugarcube.”
Heaving a sigh, Rainbow reluctantly set herself to the unfamiliar chore of expressing her feelings. “I dunno, AJ. Its just that I’m tired of being alone all the time. Sure, I have you girls as the best friends anypony could ask for, but that doesn’t keep me from feeling left out sometimes. At least ponies hit on you girls sometimes; nopony ever bothers with me. I kinda thought Twilight would understand that, being as she spent so long without friends before she met us. Plus she loves reading, just like I do, even if I wouldn’t ever admit it. I kinda thought for a while that I might at least try to see if Twilight would be willing to try being marefriends.”
“Ah don’t get it. If ya felt that way, why’d ya run when Twilight came on to ya?”
Rainbow Dash facehoofed. “Ugh, AJ, have you even seen Twilight recently? How badly she’s messed up? I might be an insensitive jerk sometimes, but I’m not gonna take advantage of one of my best friends when she may not even know what she wants for herself. I ran away because I wanted to accept Twilight, then and there. But I also wanted to make sure this was really her talking, not all the crap she’s been through. I couldn’t decide what to do; I didn’t want to say yes or no. Most of all, I just didn’t want to hurt her.”
Dash lifted her eyes to meet Applejack’s, silently asking her judgment.
“Dash, that’s the most darn foalish thing I ever heard.”
“What’ya mean, ‘foalish’? I’m having a crisis of conscience over here! It’s seriously not cool and now you’re gonna insult me?”
“Ah ain’t insultin’ ya. That’d be no way to treat a friend in this situation. I told ya the honest truth and if y’all would use that rainbow head of yours for something other than looking pretty when ya fly, you’d realize it.”
Dash narrowed her gaze and glared at the mare standing before her, searching for any trace of sarcasm or deception. Finding none, she suspiciously asked, “What the hay are you talking about?”
“Dash, our Twi ain’t the sort to do things half-way or without a reason. She makes checklists of her checklists, for Celestia’s sake! Did ya ever think that maybe the reason she started this now is ‘cause she’s feeling a mite lonely or unwanted herself? Maybe, with everything that’s happened to her, she’s had a chance to think about what she really wants? Maybe she wants you, though Celestia alone knows why.”
“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” an indignant Rainbow Dash replied.
A quiet knock at the door roused Fluttershy from her light doze on the couch. Raising her head to ascertain the source of her awakening, her ears caught the repetition of hoof on wood. Getting onto her hooves with a glance towards the upstairs bedroom where she presumed Twilight was still asleep, she walked delicately to the door, carefully stepping around a myriad of sleeping creatures. Pushing open the entryway, she was surprised to see a serious-looking Rainbow Dash.
“Is Twilight still here? I wanna see her,” the cyan pegasus whispered to her yellow-coated friend.
“Oh, I’m not sure that’s a good idea right now. Maybe you could come back, um, if you don’t mind.”
Ignoring the unassertive protests, Rainbow pushed her way into the cottage, arrowing straight for the staircase. Trotting noisily up the wooden steps, she pushed open the door to the spare bedroom. She stood in the door frame, trying to see a certain lavender unicorn through the late-night gloom cast by the closed curtains and extinguished candle on the bedside table.
“Twilight? Are you awake?” she called tentatively into the darkness. Silence greeted her.
By now her eyes had adjusted enough to perceive the unicorn’s form, huddled in a miserable pile in the middle of the bed, facing away from the door and the pegasus. Her ears caught the faint sound of breathing, ignoring the sound of Fluttershy nervously shifting from hoof to hoof behind her.
Gingerly she crossed the intervening floor space and let herself onto the bed, laying a trepid hoof on the other mare’s back. When she felt the unicorn’s pained flinch away from her, Rainbow Dash violently suppressed the urge to take her other hoof and hit herself in the face.
Swallowing a sudden surge of misgivings, Rainbow Dash launched into her prepared speech that she had spent all of ten minutes on while walking here from her cloud.
“Twilight, I’m really sorry I ran away from you like that. I didn’t want to hurt you, but what you said really confused me and I didn’t know what to think –“
“Oh Rainbow, I’m so sorry! I don’t know why I even said that to you; I know you don’t feel the same way about me,” Twilight looked up with the most heartrending expression Dash had ever seen, sending a flare of pain right to her own heart, “but please say you’re still my friend. Please, please don’t hate me.”
So much for planned speeches. Improvised Routine: Fix Broken Heart. Go.
“Of course I’m still you’re friend, Twi. I’m the Element of Loyalty, aren’t I? And maybe . . . maybe I could be more, if you wanted.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better . . .”
“No! No, I’m not. I freaked out when you let that slip before because I didn’t know if you were being serious or if it was just everything you’ve been through making you say things you didn’t really mean. Honestly, I sorta wanted to ask you out a long time ago but I didn’t think you’d go for it. Then everything happened and I didn’t think it was a good time to bring it up. Then you made your little Freudian slip and dragged everything out in the open. I didn't know how to handle it so I bolted. I didn't even think about how that would make you feel. I wasn't upset of anything, just confused.”
Twilight looked up and locked her eyes with Rainbow’s. Her gaze was earnest, no trace of falsehood to be found.
“Do you really mean all that?” she asked, hope and doubt warring in her mind.
Rainbow Dash took a deep breath before replying, trying to imbue her words with as much sincerity as she could. “I’m no AJ, but I couldn’t lie to you. I’m not good at all this sappy stuff and I’ve never been with anypony before so I can’t really promise anything. But I’m willing to see if this could work. I’m willing to try. For you; for one of my best friends.”
“Rainbow, I don't know what to say . . .”
Settling her cyan form into a mirror image of Twilight’s position, she reached out with her forelegs and suddenly pulled herself nearer to the lavender unicorn, their sides touching and the short fur of Twilight’s coat a gentle tickle against her wings. A glance backwards confirmed that Fluttershy had taken her leave.
“Erm, Dash, are you sure –“ the purple mare began.
“Shush, Twi. After all this did you think I was just going to leave you alone?”
In response, Twilight rested her head on Dash’s shoulder, the unfamiliar warmth sending waves of something undefinable through the pegasus’ body. Softly nuzzling her bedmate’s cheek, she pulled the single blanket over them both, careful to make sure it covered the pair of them.
Moments passed in comfortable silence, broken only by the rhythms of breath and heartbeat.
“I said I couldn’t promise you anything, Twilight, but I was wrong. I promise that no matter what happens or how this works out, I will always be your loyal friend. I’ll always be there for you. You don’t deserve anything less.”
The only response was the gentle touch of Twilight’s exhaled breath passing over her fur, a small smile gracing her somnic countenance. Rainbow herself only smiled and lay her head down beside her new more-than-friend's.
Dawn had long since risen over the rooftops of Ponyville, sending its residents hurrying about their day. The early morning light beamed down on a yellow pegasus, already hard at work amongst the various animal habitats that surrounded her cottage home. Idly humming a soft tune to herself, her peaceful routine was interrupted by the sudden sensation of not being alone. She turned around to gaze behind her, expecting one or both of her houseguests, the pegasus and the unicorn.
Instead, she let out an audible squeak and fell back on her hindquarters, eyes widened and throat choked by the unexpected sight of the ruler of Equestria.
“P-princess Celestia! Um, its an honor to see you again. I-is there anything I can do for you?” she managed to utter, between her mounting panic.
“Eep . . .” she managed to croak before curling in on herself, trying to disappear into thin air away from the Princess' gaze.
“Now Fluttershy, there's no need to be so frightened. Its a lovely day and I had wanted to pay a visit to my faithful student, that's all. Is she still staying at your cottage?”
The stricken pegasus managed to nod her head in agreement before pointing towards her small cottage with a forehoof and adding “I'm sure she's still in her room.”
The regal alicorn inclined her head in gratitude, the sunlight playing through her ethereal mane and reflecting from her golden tokens of rank.
“Thank you very much. I'll just go and talk to her now.”
As the monarch turned to take her leave the nervous Fluttershy belatedly dropped into the best curtsey she could manage before turning her attention back to the task before her hooves. Several moments passed before her eyes widened again, this time in sudden realization; yes, Twilight was still in her room. But so was somepony else.
Princess Celestia climbed the stairs to her pupil's borrowed bedroom. She paused outside the doorway; the sight of the resting purple unicorn filled her with conflicting emotions. She was still convinced that she was at least partially guilty for her protege's suffering. She ached to think that her fondness for the little filly she had practically adopted had given rise to the young mare's downfall. On the other hoof, she didn't want to avoid her guilt by avoiding Twilight. She had spent weeks avoiding Ponyville and its resident librarian. Now that Luna had called her out on her behavior, she realized all too well that her avoidance had likely only deepened her student's unhappiness.
Well, that ended today.
“Twilight, are you awake?” she called into the room.
The lavender unicorn stirred sleepily before raising her head to look for the source of the noise. When her eyes lit upon her mentor a deep blush flared across her face as she gingerly lifted a foreleg away from a blanket-covered mound Celestia assumed to be a pillow.
“Yes, Princess, I am,” Twilight replied, oddly quiet.
“Why on earth are you whispering? Its the middle of the -” Celestia's normal-volume reply was cut off as the presumed pillow at Twilight's side stirred, a rainbow-maned head burrowing out from the confines of the voluminous covers. The blue pegasus stretched her legs and wings out, splayed to their fullest extent as all her muscles shuddered their way to wakefulness. Turning over to face the doorway, she paused with one wing beginning to envelop Twilight in an unmistakably possessive gesture. “Who are you talking to?” She finally caught sight of the bemused alicorn standing in the doorway, and a blush to match her companion's spread across her own face as she retracted her wing, grinning sheepishly. “Oh, hi Princess. Hehe.”
“Good morning, Rainbow. Twilight, I must say; this is one situation I never expected to find you of all ponies in,” Celestia replied, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.
“Uh, I can explain, Princess . . .” the deeply embarrassed unicorn to say.
“Don't worry, Twilight. I think I understand perfectly fine. I came here today because I've been neglecting you, and its quite unforgivable. I wanted to see how you were doing.” She smirked broadly. “But it seems like I've seen who you're doing, if you'll pardon the expression.”
Twilight only moaned inarticulately, burying her face in her hooves to hide her embarrassment amidst the braying laughter of Rainbow beside her and the gentler-toned laughter of Princess Celestia.